Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / I Choose … Presence Over Hustle with Daisy Fuentes

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I Choose … Presence Over Hustle with Daisy Fuentes · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi, friends,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: welcome back to I Choose Me. This podcast is all
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: about the choices we make and how they truly shape
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  Speaker 1: our lives. Today, I am welcoming a trailblazer, someone who
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: didn't just join the entertainment world, she changed it. We
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: are talking about the iconic Daisy Fuantes. Daisy didn't just
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  Speaker 1: find a seat at the table, She built an entirely
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  Speaker 1: new wing. She became MTV's first Latina vij and the
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: first Latina to ever Land a global Revlon contract That
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  Speaker 1: is historic right there, you guys. Daisy has been her
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  Speaker 1: entire career choosing boldness and self belief, using her visibility
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  Speaker 1: not just for success, but for service as well. Now
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  Speaker 1: here's what I love. In her latest chapter, Miss Flint
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  Speaker 1: does is choosing health over hustle and presence over pressure.
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  Speaker 1: She's simplified her life. She's embraced a beautiful, leguan lifestyle
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  Speaker 1: with her husband, the renowned Richard Marx, and is finding
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  Speaker 1: pure joy in cooking, learning, and soaking up as many
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  Speaker 1: sunsets as possible. It is my immense joy to welcome
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  Speaker 1: Daisy Flints. Daisy Daisy Daisy, what a long and glorious
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  Speaker 1: career you have forged for yourself.
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  Speaker 2: Oh who knew? You must have? I really didn't. I
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  Speaker 2: really didn't know. I was not one of those people
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  Speaker 2: who kind of had the vision of what I wanted
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  Speaker 2: to do. I always envied those kids in school who
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  Speaker 2: knew from a very young age, Oh, I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: be a teacher, I'm going to be a doctor, I'm
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  Speaker 2: going to be a law And I never knew what
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  Speaker 2: I wanted to do. Yeah, I never knew what I
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  Speaker 2: was good at. And I really think that my career
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  Speaker 2: truly came to me from pure manifestation. Really, I really think.
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  Speaker 1: So at what point were you like, this is what
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  Speaker 1: I want to do. I want to go and get
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: it a start model because you started modeling.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that was also a fluke. I didn't go
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  Speaker 2: out and search for it. It came to you. It
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  Speaker 2: came to me. Was My next door neighbor was short
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  Speaker 2: in a model. One day, her little sister used to
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  Speaker 2: play with my little sister, and I guess she'd seen
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  Speaker 2: me around and she came knocking at the door and
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  Speaker 2: asked my mom if she would allow me to go
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  Speaker 2: with her. Because two of her models called in sick.
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  Speaker 2: She was doing a photo shoot. She knew I would
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  Speaker 2: fit into the clothes and that's how that and I thought, Mommy, please,
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  Speaker 2: I've gotta go do this. This is what I've been manifying.
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  Speaker 2: I used to go through the magazines and imagine myself
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  Speaker 2: in the editorials, literally like without thinking, oh, I want
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  Speaker 2: to do this one day, I would just think, gosh,
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  Speaker 2: it must be so great, Like what a great life
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  Speaker 2: this girl has shows up for work and this is
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  Speaker 2: her situation. If I were there, I would certainly enjoy it,
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  Speaker 2: and I would oh and I could also I would
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  Speaker 2: literally put myself in the page, which is manifestation.
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  Speaker 1: And I realized that's what I was doing. Absolutely. Wow,
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  Speaker 1: it worked even back then before it was cool.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, listen, that's the thing with manifestation is that
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  Speaker 2: I truly believe, like I know it's working. It works
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  Speaker 2: because everything is energy and vibration, So it's working whether
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  Speaker 2: you believe in it or not, whether you understand it
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  Speaker 2: or not. It's not about believing it, it's about understanding it.
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  Speaker 1: You are speaking my language. What's the difference between believing
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  Speaker 1: and understanding?
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  Speaker 2: Because I think when you say I believe in it,
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  Speaker 2: you're also saying it's possible to not believe in it, right,
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  Speaker 2: it can be. It doesn't matter whether you believe in
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  Speaker 2: it or not. It's there. It's happening, whether you understand
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  Speaker 2: it or not.
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  Speaker 1: So true, right, yes, whether you noticed it or not,
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  Speaker 1: Like whether you're you pay attention, yes, because it's happening
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  Speaker 1: all the time.
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  Speaker 2: The minute you start paying attention, you realize how you're
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  Speaker 2: manifesting things that you don't want, right even.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, I've been there. Yeah. I mean when you
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  Speaker 1: look back at all that you have accomplished, all of
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  Speaker 1: the pioneering, all of the firsts that you have had,
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  Speaker 1: that first contract, that global cosmetic contract, that first VJ
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  Speaker 1: job at MTV, what do you think?
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  Speaker 2: I mean?
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  Speaker 1: Was there a moment you realize I'm not just succeeding
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  Speaker 1: in this world. I'm actually creating a new landscape for
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  Speaker 1: other people.
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  Speaker 2: I didn't realize that until I was told. You know,
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  Speaker 2: I was genuinely doing what I do. I was living
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  Speaker 2: my life in two cultures and two languages. And then
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  Speaker 2: when I started doing that on camera, it was apparently
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  Speaker 2: a thing that I wasn't aware of, and I was
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  Speaker 2: just like many of us live like this, in this country.
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  Speaker 2: Many of us are, you know, two cultures, two languages,
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  Speaker 2: many many many. It just hadn't been there was no
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  Speaker 2: one representing.
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  Speaker 1: Us, I guess.
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  Speaker 2: And so when it was pointed out to me by
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  Speaker 2: journalists whenever I was doing interviews, people would be kind
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  Speaker 2: of like, oh, you know, you're doing this crossover, and
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  Speaker 2: it was a word that I'd never heard before. So
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  Speaker 2: that's when I started hearing the word crossover, and I
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  Speaker 2: started hearing oh you did. You were the first Hispanic woman,
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  Speaker 2: the first Latina. And then it started kind of and
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  Speaker 2: I don't think even at that time I clocked the
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  Speaker 2: importance of it and what it really meant. I just
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  Speaker 2: thought it was, oh, that's cool. You know, you're young,
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  Speaker 2: and you don't you're living in the moment. I wasn't
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  Speaker 2: trying to do anything extraordinary. I was just so happy
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  Speaker 2: to be given the work and to be thriving. I
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  Speaker 2: thought it would end. I thought every job I got
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  Speaker 2: would would be my last while, so I was just
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  Speaker 2: enjoying it as like this thing, that this opportunity that
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  Speaker 2: I would get that would end. So I didn't really
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  Speaker 2: have the time or I wasn't wise enough to really
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  Speaker 2: take it.
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  Speaker 1: All in Yes, that's what happens as we get older.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's when you, you know, in hindsight, you start
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  Speaker 2: looking at the things that you've done. Yeah, I'm sure
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  Speaker 2: you can relate to this, especially you're living an era
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  Speaker 2: of yours that is so extraordinary, and you don't you're
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  Speaker 2: so in it that you don't really have the time
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  Speaker 2: to see what is going on, what you're creating, what
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  Speaker 2: you're doing, how people see you, until it's over, until
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  Speaker 2: you're a little bit older and you're able to look
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  Speaker 2: back and go, wow, I was I killed it. I
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  Speaker 2: was a badass.
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  Speaker 1: Isn't that the best thing about getting older? Yeah? Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: like being able to objectively look back at your life, yes,
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  Speaker 1: and see all that you've accomplished and all the challenges
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  Speaker 1: that you've overcome.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. And also yes, and also look back and go,
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  Speaker 2: I was so dumb. How could I have thought I
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  Speaker 2: wasn't cute? Or how could I have thought? How could
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  Speaker 2: I have been so insecure about this? That and the
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  Speaker 2: other thing. It's so true.
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  Speaker 1: I look back at my younger self, I'm like, oh
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  Speaker 1: my god.
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  Speaker 2: She's so hot, like so hot, she's killing I look
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  Speaker 2: at her. I'm like, yes, go on, yes, s killing
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  Speaker 2: the game and we didn't even know it.
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  Speaker 1: I didn't know it. We didn't even listen. No, we
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  Speaker 1: took none of that in. We only took the negative
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  Speaker 1: and self criticism and the self.
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  Speaker 2: Doubst yes, which I still you know, it still creeps
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  Speaker 2: in now and I have to catch myself and I
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  Speaker 2: remind myself, like, stop it, what are you doing? Stop?
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  Speaker 2: Like you look the best that you're going to look
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  Speaker 2: from here on, Like you're the youngest that you're we're
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  Speaker 2: going to be.
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  Speaker 1: Right now, Today's the day live it up?
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  Speaker 2: So true.
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  Speaker 1: What advice would you give someone who feels like the
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  Speaker 1: thing that they want doesn't exist, for someone that looks
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  Speaker 1: like them or the thing, or they're waiting for permission
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  Speaker 1: to step forward into something.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, the waiting for permission is a big one because
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  Speaker 2: again with age comes the power and the wisdom to
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  Speaker 2: realize that you're the one that gives yourself permission. You're
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  Speaker 2: the one, So you have to give yourself permission. You
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  Speaker 2: have to forgive yourself for mistakes. You have to just
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  Speaker 2: be okay with it. Like I have this really healthy
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  Speaker 2: voice in my head right now, where I think a
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  Speaker 2: lot of people.
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  Speaker 1: Will have a voice that goes Oh you can't do that.
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  Speaker 2: Oh oh that's twenty calories. Oh you probably shouldn't take
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  Speaker 2: that chance. My voice is like, you deserve it. Go
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  Speaker 2: for it, do it, have the pizza, have another pizza?
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  Speaker 2: What what? What's the worst I can to happen? Just
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  Speaker 2: go for it. You deserve it, like you deserve my voice.
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  Speaker 2: I've trained that annoying voice in my head the negative
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  Speaker 2: way to now say, you deserve it, whatever.
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  Speaker 1: You want, You earned it.
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  Speaker 2: How'd you do that?
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  Speaker 1: How'd you train it?
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  Speaker 2: Because I started catching the negativity in it, and I
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  Speaker 2: started going, who is that bitch talking? Who is that
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  Speaker 2: nasty bitch in my head? Who is that? So? I
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  Speaker 2: caught her and I was like you stop, like you
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  Speaker 2: were going to stop this right now. And every now
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  Speaker 2: and then it sneaks through. But I've kind of trained
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  Speaker 2: it to talk to me like I talked to my friends.
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  Speaker 2: I love hearing.
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  Speaker 1: I love having this conversation with women from all walks
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  Speaker 1: of life and different levels of fame and entrepreneurship and business.
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  Speaker 1: You know, CEOs. We all have the same negative track
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  Speaker 1: playing in our heads in some way, shape or form
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  Speaker 1: of course, And it's about learning. It's a practice control it.
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  Speaker 2: It's a practice, you know, like I used to wear
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  Speaker 2: somebody get ready to go out, get in front of
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  Speaker 2: the mirror and be like, oh I must have gained weight.
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  Speaker 2: I'm so fat, Like this doesn't look right on me,
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  Speaker 2: and I switched it to oh I just got to
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: put something else on that feels more comfortable right now,
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  Speaker 2: Like I don't even like who cares? Yeah, like, Ohoka,
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  Speaker 2: it's not me, Like, yeah, maybe I'm a couple of
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  Speaker 2: pounds heavier now, but who gets not. That's not the thing.
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  Speaker 2: The thing is like, just put something else on. Look
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  Speaker 2: at you closet. It's full of stuff that's going to
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  Speaker 2: look great and feel good.
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  Speaker 1: Stop the queen of self positive talk.
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  Speaker 2: It's a practice, Listen. It doesn't work all the time.
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  Speaker 2: But no, I'm just putting it out there because I
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  Speaker 2: know that we all have that we all have that
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  Speaker 2: person in our head, and we can train her to
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  Speaker 2: be nice. We can train her to be a little nicer.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh I love that. It gives me hope and
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: possibilities for everyone listening, it's so good. I think it's
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: safe to say, at least from an outside perspective, that
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: it seems like beauty was your open door it was
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: your way in in the very beginning, and I mean
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: no shade on that, because you truly defined beauty for
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: so many women out there and really paved the way.
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  Speaker 1: And cut to here we all are. Here, we are,
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  Speaker 1: all these years later, still in the spotlight, both here,
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  Speaker 1: still killing it. But the spotlight has changed and aging
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  Speaker 1: what was once a very bad thing. I feel like
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  Speaker 1: the tides are turning, maybe you know, and now there's
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  Speaker 1: a new understanding and a new appreciation for women as
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: they get older that maybe wasn't there before.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know if that appreciation is there or we're
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: feeling that appreciation for ourselves now because we're talking about
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  Speaker 2: it more. Yeah, I don't know that the world has
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  Speaker 2: caught up. I don't know that the world is giving
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  Speaker 2: us the respect that we need to demand. We're certainly
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: looking better than we ever did before. As older women.
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  Speaker 2: All older women are killing it. They're killing the game
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  Speaker 2: with like you see a fifty year old when a
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: sixty year old and a seventy year old woman, they're
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: looking better and younger, not in a way, not in
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: cost way, not in like getting a surgery way, right
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: in an energy way, like they just feel like you
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  Speaker 2: used to see a sixty year old woman and I
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: would think, oh, she's a granny. Like now a sixty
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  Speaker 2: year old woman is gorgeous and strong and energetic. And
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  Speaker 2: I think that that is because of the conversations that
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  Speaker 2: we're having.
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  Speaker 1: Do you think it's.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Because of our perspective? Though?
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Now that we're older, we have a deeper understanding of
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: knowing or ability to see how rad I are.
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  Speaker 2: That Yeah, that you can't really know it until you
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  Speaker 2: live it. And I think that we're just a group
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  Speaker 2: of women. Our generation is just a bit tougher, just
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  Speaker 2: a bit tougher, and we don't care as much as
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I think the previous generations did. We don't mind talking
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: about the things, all the things and all the things
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  Speaker 2: that we can do to make it better. Like we
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: refuse to give in, we refuse to not feel great,
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  Speaker 2: and we're talking about what helps us and how to
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  Speaker 2: help each other. That is great. What hasn't changed is
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: that women are still are still putting each other down.
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  Speaker 2: You see it on social media, you see it in
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: the magazines, you see it in the press. The convert
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: that the shame is hard to get rid of. So
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: it's really up to us when we have these kinds
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: of conversations to remind each other that that's not okay,
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: that that still needs to be called out, Like, yeah,
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: there are a lot of positive things happening. We've changed
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: so much of the game, but we still have to
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: change more. I don't understand when who bash each other
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  Speaker 2: and there's a lot of that going on.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's hard and it's hard to even imagine.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah that you know that happening these days, especially as
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: you get older and you know how hard you've worked
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: and you know all the struggles that it's taken to
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: get you to this moment, Like you wouldn't you wouldn't
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: look at some other woman right and think, you know,
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: ugly thoughts about her.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: I think there's still so much insecurity out in the
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: world with women that it comes out like comparison culture.
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  Speaker 2: It comes out in a very negative, bashing kind of way.
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  Speaker 2: And now at my age, I see the damage that
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: it's doing to the younger generation. I see how as
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: hard as it was for us when we were young,
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: it's so much younger for the younger women. So I
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: don't know, I think that talking about it more will
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: help some of these women catch their own security is
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: coming out as benam you know, but that does need
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: to calm down, That needs to be talked about. We
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: need more conversations that where we empower each other because
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: we really are much more like than we think. Our
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: insecurities are the same. You know, it doesn't matter what
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: age we are, what generation. They may change the packaging
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: on it, but it's all the same.
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  Speaker 1: It can be a different situation or circumstances, but it's
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: always the same.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: It's so relatable.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. You said once, it's not easy to
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: navigate through this second act in life. You've got to
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: have thick skin do You've got to be ready. You've
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: got to be ready to shed your old skin and
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: step into your new role. How have you done that?
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: It's not easy, you know, especially those of us who've
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: grown up in front of a camera. It's tough to
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: see yourself basically evolving into a different person. But I
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: think that what helped me is realizing that I've done
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: that all my life. I did that from when I
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: was a kid to a teenager. When I was a
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: teenager to a young woman, from when I was a
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: young woman to when I was in my mid thirties,
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  Speaker 2: I was realizing in all of those eras that I
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: let go of another girl, like the girl that I
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: used to be is no longer. I didn't look like
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: that anymore. I didn't believe some of the things that
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: she believed. I didn't act the way she acted anymore.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: This is just getting closer to the last few eras.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: I don't think this is the last era I think
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: I have. I think I will continue to evolve. You
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: got a few left in you, I think at least
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: a couple, you know. But that's what helped me is
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: realizing that, oh, I'm this woman now, and all along
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: the way they were all pretty cool. They all ended
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: up being pretty cool, and I ended up liking all
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: of them or being comfortable with all of them. So
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  Speaker 2: this is going to be the same. And when I
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: get into my sixties and my seventies, that's going to
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: be a different version of me. And that might be
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: really fun too, I don't know. Yeah, the part that's
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: not fun is realizing that you're getting older, you know.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I don't like dealing with looking at myself and being like, oh,
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: do I need botox? What is the latest laser treatment
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: that I need to have right now? What is the
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: next magic potion that you know, I enjoy that and
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: I don't because those things don't work as well as.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: They use to as you get older.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Right, So that part of it is tough, But all
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: the other things are there for us to embrace if
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: we choose to.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: I mean especially in the industry that we're in, but
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I mean honestly in any industry. As women, we are
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: traditionally more valued if we are attractive and young. Let's
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: just be honest. Have you learned to choose wholeness over
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: that pressure to stay perfect? Like people remember you?
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: I think that knowledge, curiosity, kindness is much more important
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: because I've met a lot of beautiful people who get
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: ugly really fast. I've met a lot of people that
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: aren't initially the most gorgeous person in the room, that
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: immediately capture everyone's attention, and they are the unforgettable ones.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: So it's really an essence, it's a presence. And so
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: that's why it's important for me to stay curious to learn.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with learning. I go down every rabbit hole,
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: and now with technology like, I am loving it. I
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: am loving being able to learn so much about so
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: many things on my own. I think that that's what
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: ultimately makes someone attractive.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the word curiosity keeps coming up in my world.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: And I've always said I'm so curious about everything, Like
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: I've always been a curious little girl, and then I
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: was curious all the way through. But now I've just
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: returned to this, like I need to know how you've
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: done it and what made you tick and where do
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: you get this from? You know, I'm just so curious
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: about human nature. Yeah, not to mention, you know, I
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: will google how do you change your toilet lid?
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Without?
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: You know, like I will google anything everything, and I
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: want to learn how to do it and do it
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: myself before I call someone. Total husband gets very irritated.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: He's like, just call the repair man. I'll pay for it.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, but I need to know if he's doing it right.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Or when I have the repair man come over, I
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: watch him like a hawk so that I learn what
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: he's doing. It's not like rocket science.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Right, I can do that. Like I feel a little magiverish,
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: like I feel like I need to be able to
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: rig anything any time.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: It's absolutely was there an inner shift moment for you
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: at some point that helped you really move from that
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: stigma and that pressure of being in the spotlight. I mean,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: you're still in the spotlight, but back in the day
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: for both of us, we were in the spotlight.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Was there a point in your evolution. Maybe it was
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: in your thirties, Maybe it was in your forties where
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: you were like, hmm, I'm not going to be that anymore.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: What that was, Yes, I'm becoming someone else.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, I think it was in my forties. I don't
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: know that there was an exact moment, but I realized
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: that I was focusing on different things. It wasn't like
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: it hit me kind of like, oh, I'm not, you know,
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: the most popular girl, because that was never the most
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: interesting thing for me. I never all through my twenties
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: and thirties, I wasn't interested in being the most famous girl.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I was kind of wanted to be the most successful girl,
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: like the richest girl. I don't want to be the
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: prettiest girl, and I wanted to be the richest girl.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: So I kind of focused on that a little bit more.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: And the truth is, I had a lot of opportunities
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: to do things that would have probably made me more
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: famous and given me more notoriety, and I didn't do them,
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: you know, like for example, I would get offers to
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: do Playboy every year, and I remember framing the letters
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: from Hugh Hefner and I thought, you know, there's nothing
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: wrong with it, Like I would totally do it, but
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I can't do it while my dad's a lot Oh
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: my same thoughts.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Really, I just I could never. I don't want my dad,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: my brothers, the gardening man.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: I don't want to harass my dad. No. Yeah, and
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: that would be a lot, It would be a lot.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: You know, some people make it work.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: No, and it's it's fine if you have that family dynamic.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: And I don't think my dad would have been angry
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: at me. I think you would have understood. But I know,
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: like I know, just because of our culture, I know
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: it would have embarrass him. So that was never even
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: an option.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Are you a daddy's girl?
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: A little bit? A little bit. I wasn't like super
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: daddy's girl, but I was. I think my dad always
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: wanted a boy. So I was more of like a
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: tomboy with my dad, Like we did things that he
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: would probably do if he had a son.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: That sounds fun.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: It was really fun.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, So I love that you didn't just get
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: famous and get stuck in that you connected to advocacy
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: for women. Yeah, it's very admirable, specifically in Latina representation,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: animal welfare, cancer research. I mean, there's there's many others,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: I'm sure, but I think that there's such a beautiful
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: message there, because sometimes choosing yourself is about prioritizing what's
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: most important to you in life. Yeah, so even when
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: you're choosing to help others, you're actually choosing yourself.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: So yeah, that's really nice way of putting that some.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Need that within you. You've also always chosen to give back.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: It's been a really important part of your life. What
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: originally called you to this kind of service work.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, when you become popular, when you become
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: a public persona, you start getting a lot of people
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: asking for your help. And that's when I really started
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: thinking early on what a privilege it was to have that,
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: to have a stage, to have a microphone, to have
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: a voice, to speak up for organizations that you believe
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: in that could really use the attention. And yes, I
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: have always contributed and donated what I could and still
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: do to the organizations that I believe in privately, but
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: I thought it's a privilege to have this voice to
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: let people know. It helps the organizations so much, the
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: ones that you believe in, for you to give them
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: that voice, that attention that they so desperately need. So
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: it was more about just giving back and contributing, because
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: sure I could do that privately, I do. And it's
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: about having the opportunity to speak up for someone that's
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: really special. So I think that that's a privilege that
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: we all have, and that's a privilege that frankly, we
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: all have now because of social media.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Every one of us.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Every one of us has the privilege of saying, oh,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: I found this organization, I went there, I spoke to
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: this person, this is what I found out. I think ultimately,
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: we all want to help and it's hard to figure
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: out who you can trust. So when you hear somebody
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: talking about something that they where they've put in the work,
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: where they talked with someone, where they learned something, that's
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: something that we can all share with each other.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that that's that one of the best
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: parts of social media, Yeah, one of the Yeah, one
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: of the best parts. Let's just say that you stand
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: up for our communities that aren't always reached, like the
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Latina community specifically facing breast cancer. I'm curious what do
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: you think the most urgent conversations in the Latina community
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: around breast cancer awareness, early detection, let's say, equitable care.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: What do you think those conversations need to be.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: I think the conversation needs to be still early detection,
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: being aware of it, and around shame. It's not your fault.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: I think that that's still happening. That's still important for
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: you to feel like you didn't do anything wrong. You know,
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: you didn't miss it, you didn't eat wrong, you didn't
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: not exercise, you didn't there's still a little bit of
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: a stigma. I think around shame with women and breast cancer,
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: that maybe it was somehow their fall.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: That's wild.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I think with anything with any illness or disease, our
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: minds usually go straight.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: To what did I do?
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: How did I mess this up? Yes, and look at
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: all the people I'm going to upset or disappoint.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: I think that's also a female trait.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: What a fun trait to carry around?
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, it really is.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you are in what looks like a
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: very happy marriage. Your husband, the remarkable Richard Mars so
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: happy to see you so happy in this chapter of
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: your life. You've talked talked about simplifying your life. You've
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: talked about embracing a median lifestyle and health so that
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: you and he can enjoy as many sunsets as possible.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, now that we have more behind us than ahead
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: of us.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you, how would.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: You You're younger than your husband, right, yeahty nine, he's
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: sixty two.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Because nothing I thought. I don't know why. I thought
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: there was a very difference. I've always seen you as younger.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know why, but you'll always be. I'm one
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: of those people that has likesaged me sometimes, I think,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: so this is like the free you know, very people
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: are very comfortable around you. People comfortable.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: What helped you choose contentment and presence and health over
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: perfectionism and the hustle and you know, I mean, especially
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: with all those decades in such a high glamour industry.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: I think part of it maybe is realizing what I
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: just said, that I have more sunsets behind me than
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: ahead of me, and really figuring out how I want
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: to spend my time, which is the most precious thing
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: that we have, which is the most valuable thing that
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: we have, and we don't get enough of it, especially
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: when you meet your person later in life. There's just
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: not enough of it. So it's really important to me
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: to figure out how I want to spend my time.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: And I want to spend my time doing things that
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: make me feel good, being with my family, being with
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: my friends, creating a beautiful home, traveling with my husband
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: who's still you know, a traveling, touring pop star, and
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: I now get to travel with him. Like, how lucky
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: am I?
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: That sounds amazing, not just.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: That I get to travel with him, but I have
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: the energy to travel with him, and I look forward
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: to it and we have on the fact that I'm
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: aware of that. I don't want to take that for granted.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Going back to like the pressures that we put on
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: ourselves as women, as women in your position, in my position,
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: how did you manage that? How did you Because there
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: was a long time when I mismanaged it?
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: What did that look like when you mismanaged it?
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: I think just feeling like I needed to do things
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: the things, and saying a lot of yes to things
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: instead of really thinking, like picking and choosing your yes.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: That's important, realizing what your priorities are, the fact that
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: the things that you do or things that now you
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: choose to do, they're not things that you have to do.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: You don't need the spotlight. You're doing things that make
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: you feel good, that provide you and your family a
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: little extra security. But we now have that choice. We
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: always have a choice. There's always a choice. So picking
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: and choosing what aligns with you and with your values
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: and where you are at that particular stage of your
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: life is definitely always worth considering. Pausing, meditating on it,
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: feel it out, and also giving yourself permission to change
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: your mind on things like, oh, I thought this was
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: going to work. I don't like it, I'm not doing it.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Did you ever have those moments where you say yes
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: to things and then you know, a couple of weeks
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: go by and then the thing is there, It's on
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: the calendar tomorrow, it's happening. Why did I say.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Yes to this the time all the time?
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: How do you deal with that?
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Do you just have to suck it up and just
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: do it?
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you do, because and then I'm always happy that
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: I did, Because I always kind of get into the
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: mood of whether it's socializing or going out or getting
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: dressed or whatever. It always ends up being fine. But
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: sometimes I learned my lesson. I'm like, I remember the
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: last time that I did that, it wasn't worth it.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: I am not doing it again.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. If we had that hindsight then.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: But we do. But we do do we know.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Even in the moment you're saying we have it, yeah,
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I think we now we have Now we have it.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Now we have We didn't always have it. Yeah, but
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: we've lived so much that we've pretty much done everything. Like, right,
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: what's anyone going to throw at you that you haven't
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: already experienced in one form or another. I mean like.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: Nothing, hopefully nothing everything. I think that there's probably a
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: lot of things out there that I haven't done.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: That's because you don't want to do them, since I'm.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Not putting myself in that position.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, there are a lot of things I haven't
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: done and I won't do because I don't want to
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: do them. But we've experienced so much in our lives
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: at this point, at this stage, we know we can
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: trust our gut, we can see where something is heading.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: We know what's going to happen when you get to
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: the thing with the people. You know it's going to
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: be required of you, what's going to be asked of you.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: We know it. We didn't know it then.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we kept hoping for a different outcome. I guess right,
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: And sometimes it's just survival. Yeah, I've committed to this,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: and that's okay.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: But at least you're going in and knowing what you're
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: getting into, like, oh, this is my favorite thing to do,
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: but I'm going to feel good doing it and I
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: want to do it.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: And also you're probably going to learn something sure, sure
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: from anything we have.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: There's a couple that we go out with a lot,
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: and every now and then, well we'll make a dinner plan.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: We some of us will show up at dinner and
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: we'll all look at each other and be like, oh
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: my god, I almost canceled tonight. And they'll be like,
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: oh my god, we totally almost canceled tonight. I'm so
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: glad we didn't. We can tell you that because we
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: feel comfortable with you. But oh, I was hoping you
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: would cancel. But then I was going to cancel, and
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: I was, And we do that all the time. But
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: we really love hanging out with each other, and the
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: truth is, we'd all be fine if any one of
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: us cancels, but we're like, no, we really want to
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: do this. We're not going to get lazy. So it's
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: really about acknowledging when you're being lazy, because the truth is,
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: we can just sit around and do nothing, but we
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: don't want to. We have to push ourselves to do
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: some of the things that we know we're going to
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: feel good about doing all the.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: Time, right, that are going to bring like new experiences
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: or new insights or different perspectives. And you're like, I
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: have a tendency to stay home a lot, yes, because
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: this isn't a great love being home. It's the best
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: I can just be content, right, and it's the best feeling.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: But sometimes I'm like, wait, do I have an issue here, Like, Emma,
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: is this agoraphobia?
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: Is that what it's called? Yes, I think it's an
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: I think it's a balance. Okay, don't you think it's
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: a balance, Because yes, we could totally stay home and
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: do nothing and that would be fine, and we can
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: also push ourselves to do too much of the stuff
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: that we don't really need to do, So It's about
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: pushing ourselves enough to keep ourselves, you know, energetic, and
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: feeling like we are part of the world, and also
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: taking the time to do nothing when you need it.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: I think it's an important balance and a difficult one.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: So true.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the nervous system and the voice on
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: repeat is so so strong.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Do you have you know, the craving for those endorphins
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: of being that girl, the it girl, the girl that's
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: got the flash bulbs going and everybody's wanting her. Did
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: you do you look back now and recognize that.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: I look back now and thought I should have enjoyed
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: that more, because there is a fun part to that. Yeah,
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: I should have enjoyed that more.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: Why weren't you enjoying it?
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: I was too self conscious. I was too critical of
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: the photos after I would see them. I was trying
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: to always wear the perfect thing or always I was
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: just thinking too much about all the nonsense, instead of
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: being like, oh, how lucky I am I that I
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: get to wear like this great dress, look fabulous in it,
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: and then people want to take my picture like that's
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: so great, It's so fun. If only I could have
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: thought of it that simply.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: I don't think the word gratitude.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Was talked about. It wasn't a big thing. I mean,
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: I remember being grateful, feeling lucky. I remember feeling lucky
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: to be in the position.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: That I was. Yeah, but I don't there's something different
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: between feeling lucky and feeling grateful. I think you're right, Yeah,
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: because grateful, it's just you are able to step back
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: and really appreciate everything that you've gotten to do. And
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: I think again, with age comes that ability.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think with age we're more aware of living
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: in the moment, of being present and acknowledging what's happening
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: in that moment. I wasn't able to do that as
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: much when I was younger. It was it was so fast.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: You've been a hustler. Yeah, you've been a badass hustler.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: I've been going and going and going.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: And do you feel like at this stage now, with
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: your happy marriage and you're you know, began and healthy
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: and all these wonderful attributes to this life that the
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: stage that you're in.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: I'm definitely anti hustle culture right now.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: You are.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: I am anti hustle everywhere. Oh yeah, it is. I
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: feel it.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: I feel it like I feel like I have to
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: hustle in order to get to a certain point where
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: I won't have to hustle anything.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: So like, for example, the cold plunges. I tried it,
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: and then I was like, why in the world would
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: I put myself through this?
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Or I can't even imagine. So I was like, no, no,
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I don't care how good that is for me or
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: how good you say that is for me. No, I'm
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: sure it is really good for you, but I cannot
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: do it. I don't want to do it.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: You know how people are saying, you know, you got
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: to just got to get out of your comfort zone.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: You've got to push yourself to do the things that
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: make you uncomfortable and take challenges. And I'm all, I'm
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: all for a challenge, like I enjoy a good challenge
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: every now and then. However, I am in the era
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: where I am looking to step deeper into my comfort
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: zone right now. So do not talk to me about
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: getting out of my comfort zone because I've done that
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: all my life and my.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Life that's right, It's time to stay comfortable, damn right.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: I love that. Do you Guys have a lot of
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: music going on your house? You like brings you peace?
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: What is it?
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: What does music do for you?
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: It sets the mood, It sets the tone. It's when
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: we have the lights on a timer, so at sunset exactly,
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: our lights come on and they're dimmed exactly to a
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: mood that we like all over the house. So it's
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: like this dim light. The minute that that happens, the
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: music comes on and rituals say can I make you
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: more tini? Like yeah, wow, and we turn our house
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: and our space into like let's welcome the night. And
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: it just sets the tone. You can delete all the
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: nonsense from the day, talk about it a little bit,
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: and then just enjoy the night. And the music helps
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: us set that tone.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: It really does. I forget about music and it's power.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I put
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: on like a yoga meditation music, which is a certain
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: frequency that is for calming and for being alert and
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: for relaxation. So it's almost like when you walk into
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: a spa. Yes, this this almost subliminal.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Oh I just felt it. I just put myself in
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: a spat thanks. Yeah, So I'm all about that. Like
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: I want to have the music, I want to have
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: the scent. I want to open all the doors.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: I want to create an environment for myself all the
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: time that makes me feel good, you know. And the
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: truth is, we've worked.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: So hard to have these nice homes that we have.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: And you know, I can tell that you take pride
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: in like creating an ambiance and a home that you
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: feel comfortable in. So why not fully treat ourselves to that.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: I'm big on light the candle, do the oil, incense,
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: the music, and get the nice robe. And I'm all
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: for that.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: Treat yourself home where the heart is deep. I always
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: call myself a homemaker. I don't know why. It reminds
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: me like Betty Crocker.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you make the home.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: But I am a homemaker and I'm not ashamed to
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: say it.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but I think most of us are. Most
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: women MA make the home.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: We like to nest.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we make we make it pretty, we make it
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: comfortable for everybody, make it safe. Yep. And one thing
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: I love about Richard is every now and then he'll
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: say to me, He'll go, you know what. I know,
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: I don't say it enough, but I really appreciate how
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: beautiful you've made our home. I'm like, oh my god,
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: somebody noticed. That's so nice I'm constantly like wanting to
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: do it, mostly for myself, but I really appreciate it
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: when other people notice it.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: That's one hundred percent true. Okay, So what would you
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: tell young Daisy M to not be so self conscious?
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: Mention that, But what else I would.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: Tell her to be more present? I would say, look
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: at your surroundings. Just stop, look at yourself, look at
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: where you are, look at what you've done. Stop and
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: think about how you feel. Think about what you want
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: to do more than what everybody is telling you to do.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: You know, all through my twenties and thirties, I was
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: hired talent. I was read the teleprompter and liked this video,
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: do that interview, and dress this way where that don't.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: That's too sexy, that's not sexy enough. And I went
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: with that flow for so long that when I really
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: stopped to think about it, I didn't know what I wanted.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: I didn't know how I wanted to dress. I didn't
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: know what my deal breakers were. I didn't know what
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: I stood for. I didn't know what I And that
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: realization was the beginning of my really coming into my
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: own and standing up for myself and thinking about you know,
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: who am I? Because people tell you, like, just be yourself.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: My best thing is to be authentic. Just be yourself.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: And you're going around thinking that you're being authentic and
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: being yourself, but nobody tells you how to figure out
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: who you are are? Like, who are you? So that
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: you can be authentic? What are the things you need
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: to ask yourself?
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: What are your deal breakers? What do you like? What
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: do you stand for? What won't you stand for anymore?
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: What are your boundaries? Like without becoming militant about it,
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: but just a realization for yourself so that you can
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: lean a little bit more into who you are. How
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: can you do that if you don't know who you are?
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: It's so wild. I think I can only relate to
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: the industry, growing up in the industry, and like you
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: and I did, but I feel like we spend so
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: much time, you know, being directed, told what to do.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: Then you're all of a sudden, you're out in the world,
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: like you said, and you have no idea who you
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: are or what you should be doing. And it takes
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: a good amount of time to sit with yourself in
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: that uncomfortable space of acknowledging the fact that you don't
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: know who the hell you are. Yeah, you don't know
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: what you want? Yeah, what age do you think that
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: happened for you?
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: It started happening for me Probably might thirties, because before
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: that I was just too busy to even stop to
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: think about any of it. I was just going we
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: all get caught up in that. I think. I see
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: a lot of young women doing it now, and I
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: guess that's that's the age where you just you go
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: for it and you take advantage of opportunities that come
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: your way. You're influenced by your peers, by people who
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: you look up to, So that's the time to really
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: take it all in and kind of try everything out.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: But it was I wish I'd done it sooner. I
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: see a lot of young women I have younger friends
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: and love. I think that women in their twenties are
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: much more mature these days than they were when I
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: was in my twenties, I think rightfully, so. They have
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: so much more information. They're able to connect with the
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: entire world. I wasn't.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: We're so isolated right in our own heads.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, So it wasn't really until my thirties that I
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: started thinking about, like I would say, things, and then
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: I would catch myself going, why do I think that?
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: Where did I hear that? Who said it? Oh? So
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: and so said it, and it resonated, so it must
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: be true. We did a lot of that. We did
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: a lot of repeating of the things that we heard
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: other people who we thought were smarter saying. And that's
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: when I stopped and I was like, I need to
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: do my own thinking. Like one of the big things
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: was religion. So I was like, I know how I
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: was raised when I mean, I lived in New Jersey
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: growing up. I was in high school, and I remember
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: something that was great was being surrounded by people of
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: different different backgrounds. You know, also my friend over here
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: is Jewish, my friend is Muslim, this girl is Christian.
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: I was raised Catholic. I'd go to their homes and
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: there would be different customs and different things, and I
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: didn't really understand it. And then I remember going, I
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: want to learn about all religions. I want to read
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: up on religions because when I talk about it, I
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: want to understand it. When I meet someone who comes
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: from a different background, I want to have an idea
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: of how they were brought up, what they believe, what
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: they don't what they stand for, and that was fascinating
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: for That was one of the first times that I thought,
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: I need to keep learning about everything everything.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: I think we think we know everything about everything at
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: a certain age.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh. No, the older that I get, the more
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: I realize there's so much I don't know that I
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: need to know, like immediately I know.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: And then also the revelation that you have no control
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: over anything. Yeah, is such a just like an opener.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that helped a little bit, realizing that that you
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: have no control. That then you can release a little
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: bit of control. Yeah, because it doesn't matter.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: And it's a lot to carry that control. It's very stressful,
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: it is, it really is, and it catches up to you.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: And it always trying to creep back in there, doesn't it.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, we want control so badly. What do you
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: think people can learn from your journey? Oh, so far,
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: your journey so far, My journey so far. I think
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: people I would want people to learn to keep open
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: to opportunities that may come your way. I think it's
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: great to have an idea of what you want your
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: life to be, but also stay open to possibilities because
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: sometimes the universe has a better plan for you than
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: you ever could dream up. Oh I love that. And
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: and give yourself permission to change your mind on things.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: You're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to uh
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: not want to do things that you once wanted to do.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: You're allowed to not enjoy some things that you once enjoyed.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: It's important, in fact, change my mind, change my mind
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: on things. I welcome people to change my mind, like
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: I thrive on that. I think it's it's important. One
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: of the things from my journey is to go with it. Like,
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: just just go with it. Make the best of the situations.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: You know, whether the opportunity is great or not. If
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: you're at a point in your life where just isn't
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: what I wanted to do, well, maybe it's leading you
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: to what you want to do. So always be really
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: good at it. Whatever it is that you're doing, take
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: pride in it. Do your best, do your best. Just
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: take pride in learning and in doing the best that
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: you can at whatever level you're at. I did learn
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: that from my grandfather and then from my parents, and
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: that was a big thing. Just always always be prideful
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: in whatever work you're.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: Doing, and work hard. I feel like you've worked hard.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: I think work ethic is a big thing in my culture.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, mine too.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: Well.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: I've loved our conversation so much. But before I let
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: you go, I have to ask you, Daisy Fuentes, what
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: was your last I Choose me moment?
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: I think we I think we talked about it. But
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: my last I choose I choose me moment was realizing
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: that I want to slow down, that I don't want
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: to do what everybody else thinks I should be doing.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: That doesn't feel good to me, like choosing a slow morning.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: You know, I keep hearing these women I wake up
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: at five am, by six am, I've done this and
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: I've done that, And I start and I start like hyperventilating,
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: like my god, I got to wake up at five
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: am tomorrow and I've got to do And then I
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: remember thinking, going, no, no, I don't want to do that.
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: That doesn't feel good to me. You know, it feels
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: good to me waking up whenever I want. That's a
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: luxury that I have earned at this stage of my life.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: Not having to put the along my obviously unless I'm
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: traveling or doing something I have to do, but not
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: making an appointment for eight or nine am, because I
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: like that time. I want to get up. I look
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: at my birds. I have bird feeders. Oh my gosh,
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: to ride a passage. Oh my god, birds we're up
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: that age?
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: Where were birds all my life? I know, I'm obsessed
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: with my birds.
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with my birds. And it's so meditative for me.
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: It's like they don't need me to have them. Do
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: you have that? Nobody got to get it with the camera.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: Merlin you no, no, this the merlin.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well you take a picture of the burden
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: tells you exactly what it is, or you.
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: Just it listens to the bird and it tells you
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: what it is.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's oh, we're crazy. No, we're right, We're so
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: not crazy, right, I think we're right. I love I
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: love having my coffee looking at the window. I like
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: doing my breathing. I like sitting by the fire when
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: it's cold. I like sitting out in the sun when
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: it's warm. I don't want to look at emails. I
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: don't want to be rushed. I want to be present
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: and have a slow mourning. And that is so.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: Anti what everybody's talking about.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: That is so anti what everybody thinks that we should
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: do so. As much as everybody's going on and on
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: about how like you need to live a week between
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: five am and nine am, I am here to tell
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: you that you can choose you and you can have
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: a slow morning. I am the president of the Anti
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: Hustle Culture Club.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: I'm signing up and I am here for you. I
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: need to be in your club. I'm so about the
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: hustle right now, yes, and I just it's tiring, and
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: you know, I mean, I feel like at my age
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: it's time to hustle or it's time to you know,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: be where you are. And I feel like I'm not
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: not ready to allow myself, yeah that much, but I
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: do feel like I can see for you how you
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: have lived this amazing life and you have earned right
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: where you are right now.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: So have you, So you know, hustle when you want to,
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: and you don't when you don't. That's it. That's a rap.
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Daisy, You're awesome.