Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 183 - Is your phone really the challenge?

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 183 - Is your phone really the challenge? · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
• 0:16
  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So often we hear people tell us put your phone down, be present
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  with me. And it's great advice.
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  I mean, I think I can tell you my phone is with me all the time
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  because of my job and what I do. I record the podcast from the
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  phone. It's a tool for me.
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  But when someone says to you, you know, hey, put your phone
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  down and be present with me, what are they really saying to
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  you? They're they're asking for your
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  attention. It's not just about putting the
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  phone down, It's about giving them your attention and really
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  looking at what do I need to do in order to give this person my
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  attention. So best advice that I can give
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  you on this is that everybody is different.
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  Everybody has different rules for how they feel like they're
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  being made special. And and that's really what
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  they're asking for. They're saying, hey, you need to
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  pay attention to me so that I feel special.
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  I want to feel valued. I want to feel as though, you
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  know, as I am here in your life, you are looking at me and you're
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  saying I matter. The one thing that I know for
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  sure is that people want to know they matter.
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  They want to know that what they're doing in your life
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  matters. They want to know that they have
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  a a certain huge part of your life and importance in your
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  life. It is 1000% about getting that
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  piece and it's not about the phone.
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  It's about knowing it could be a book.
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  When I was a kid, my mother used to tell me constantly get your
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  nose out of that book because I was always reading and I was
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  reading because I love to read. But she took that as you know,
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  I'm not paying attention because I'm reading or I'm working on,
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  you know, I would sit there and painting doing something else
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  and she'd be like talking to me and you're not paying attention
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  to me. It wasn't the IT wasn't the
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  phone. The phone, yes, is has an
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  addictive personality to it, but the reality was I wasn't making
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  her feel valued. And when you can kind of pull
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  yourself back from the offense of someone calling you out on
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  something and you can actually look at it and say, OK, one
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  second here. The problem is this person
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  doesn't think I am giving them attention, or I'm not being
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  attentive to their needs or I'm not making them feel as though
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  what they're talking about has any interest to me.
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  It it all comes back to, you know, am I seen, am I heard, am
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  I noticed? And if there's one thing that I
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  know for sure, it's that we all want to be seen.
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  We all want to be heard, We all want to be noticed, and we all
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  want to know we matter. And if we don't feel that we
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  matter, we will do things that are not necessarily things that
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  we're proud of to get that attention.
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  And we might act out and we might say things and we might do
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  hurtful things because we just feel completely and totally
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  overwhelmed by the fact that I don't know how to get your
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  attention. I don't know what else to do.
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  I feel like crap. And I just want someone to pay
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  attention to me. And that might be you and it
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  might be someone in your office and it might be a family member.
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  I mean, you know, even right down to the dog, I, one of my
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  dogs has this very, my big dog as a matter of fact, has this
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  habit of taking his, his paw and he will actually hit me with it
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  over and over if he thinks I'm not paying attention to him
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  because he wants attention and he wants to know he has my
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  attention. So he'll start and he'll start
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  tapping me, tapping me, tapping me, tapping me.
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  And it's annoying. But guess what he gets?
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  He gets me to break my pattern and he shows me I'm not giving
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  him the proper attention. So today this is all about
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  understanding. Short, sweet, right to the point
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  of knowing what does this person need from me?
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  It's not about the phone. I don't need to lament this and
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  keep going on, but that's what you need to ask yourself.
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  So go do it. Remember, it's not about the
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  phone, it's about am I giving them what they need.
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  I hope you guys have a blessed day and I will see you all
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  tomorrow. Bye.