Latest / Divas That Care Network / AI Dating Coach For Real Life
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: It's Divas that Care Radio.
- 0:02SPEAKER_00: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
- 0:06SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
- 0:13SPEAKER_00: This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
- 0:20SPEAKER_00: To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show.
- 0:26SPEAKER_00: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
- 0:31SPEAKER_02: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Divas That Care.
- 0:34SPEAKER_02: My name is Candice Gish.
- 0:35SPEAKER_02: If this is your very first time tuning in to us, a huge welcome.
- 0:38SPEAKER_02: We've been doing the Divas That Care now for over 16 years.
- 0:41SPEAKER_02: We're listening to over 35 countries around the world.
- 0:44SPEAKER_02: And honestly, it is because of all of our amazing guests, our hosts, and all of our amazing tribe around the world.
- 0:50SPEAKER_02: So thank you for tuning in to us and listening to our amazing podcast series today.
- 0:55SPEAKER_02: And what we're doing lately is that we have been working on some mini podcasting series, and this one today is called Speak Up and Stand Firm.
- 1:03SPEAKER_02: This powerful series is all about finding your voice, trusting your truth, and having the courage to stand firm in what matters most.
- 1:10SPEAKER_02: We'll explore what it means to speak with confidence, create healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself and others, and stop allowing fear, guilt, or the opinions of others to silence you.
- 1:22SPEAKER_02: I am so excited.
- 1:23SPEAKER_02: We're going to be welcoming a brand new Diva to our family today.
- 1:27SPEAKER_02: Her name is Blair Golden.
- 1:28SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the show, Blair.
- 1:30SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
- 1:32SPEAKER_02: Oh, Blair, I'm very excited to get to know you.
- 1:34SPEAKER_02: I've heard all about you, and I can't wait to hear about your story.
- 1:37SPEAKER_02: So, Blair, would you mind introducing yourself to our listeners today?
- 1:41SPEAKER_01: Sure.
- 1:42SPEAKER_01: My name is Blair Golden, and I am the founder of Pair Love, the first ever AI Avatar dating coach in the App Store and Google Play.
- 1:52SPEAKER_02: I'm very excited about learning more about this, Blair.
- 1:57SPEAKER_02: What made you decide to, you know, even come up with the idea of an AI program?
- 2:06SPEAKER_02: Like what made you decide to do this?
- 2:09SPEAKER_01: Great question, Candace.
- 2:11SPEAKER_01: So after 20 years of marriage, I found myself at age 42, a single mom of three young boys, and I started navigating online dating.
- 2:21SPEAKER_01: I couldn't believe what was out there.
- 2:24SPEAKER_01: So much fusion, so many toxic behaviors, strangers calling me babe and texts that wanted to get too close too soon, ghosting, all sorts of stuff.
- 2:36SPEAKER_01: And I really needed some guidance along the way.
- 2:41SPEAKER_01: And I didn't have it.
- 2:43SPEAKER_01: So my son and I put our brains together, and he's an AI specialist with an avatar company.
- 2:48SPEAKER_01: And we came up with this idea to help women uh trust their gut, see warning signs early, and help navigate the whole online dating world.
- 2:57SPEAKER_02: That's crazy.
- 2:58SPEAKER_02: To be honest, this whole dating thing is has changed so much.
- 3:03SPEAKER_02: You know, I I'm lucky enough that I haven't been able to use this because it honestly terrifies me.
- 3:10SPEAKER_02: I I have four daughters and they're navigating this now with their lives.
- 3:14SPEAKER_02: They're trying to figure out how to meet people in this world.
- 3:19SPEAKER_02: And it seems like apps are the only way that you can meet people nowadays.
- 3:23SPEAKER_02: And so I'm like, they asked me questions like, I have no idea.
- 3:27SPEAKER_02: I don't even know where to begin to, even you know, some advice.
- 3:31SPEAKER_02: But when I heard that you had an app, I thought, oh my God, who came up with this brilliant idea?
- 3:38SPEAKER_02: So, and how does it work?
- 3:39SPEAKER_02: So maybe, Blair, share with us how this all works together.
- 3:43SPEAKER_01: Okay, sure.
- 3:44SPEAKER_01: I would love to.
- 3:45SPEAKER_01: So I had no idea what a narcissist was, what a sociopath was, what a lack of empathy was.
- 3:50SPEAKER_01: I didn't know people could show up and act so normal in the beginning, and then a few months in, all of a sudden they become toxic.
- 3:57SPEAKER_01: So I wanted to create something that could help show warning signs early and uh teach women to trust their gut.
- 4:09SPEAKER_01: And sometimes someone looks good on paper and they check a lot of boxes, but there's something in our gut that tells us to watch out or something's off or something's not right.
- 4:19SPEAKER_01: So what Parallove does is there's three features.
- 4:22SPEAKER_01: The number one most exciting feature, in my opinion, is the real-time avatar coach.
- 4:28SPEAKER_01: So it's this human-like experience where you literally have a human speaking to you.
- 4:34SPEAKER_01: They have a memory, they know you, and they know what you're trying to achieve.
- 4:38SPEAKER_01: So every time you log on, they remember, oh, you went on that date, oh, you're looking for this type of relationship, oh, you got that weird text from him.
- 4:45SPEAKER_01: What ended up happening on the date?
- 4:47SPEAKER_01: So it's like having a best friend in your pocket 24-7.
- 4:51SPEAKER_01: That is the most exciting feature that I love.
- 4:55SPEAKER_01: The second feature is the red flag analyzer.
- 4:58SPEAKER_01: This was born in the middle of the night when I went into my son's room and I said, what can we create when you get that weird text, when you have that off date, when you just have something that doesn't feel right, and we develop the red flag analyzer.
- 5:13SPEAKER_01: So you put in a situation, it could be a text, it could be a date you had, it could be anything.
- 5:19SPEAKER_01: And the red flag analyzer evaluates the flag, and it's either a red, green, or yellow flag with a percentage.
- 5:26SPEAKER_01: And then it will tell you what to be cautious of and next steps you can take.
- 5:31SPEAKER_01: The last feature is called SOS.
- 5:34SPEAKER_01: So when dates feel unsafe or uncomfortable and you want out, the first thing you could do is a quick chat.
- 5:41SPEAKER_01: Go to the bathroom, do a quick chat.
- 5:43SPEAKER_01: And the whole LLM, the brain behind this is for dating and relationship guidance.
- 5:49SPEAKER_01: So it's better than a chat GBT because it's really giving you curated dating advice.
- 5:55SPEAKER_01: Um you could do a quick chat and then you can send your location to a friend, call an Uber, walk back out to the table, push a red button, and you get a rescue call.
- 6:05SPEAKER_01: Your phone will literally ring at the table, you pick it up, and um you make an excuse as to why you have to get out of your date.
- 6:14SPEAKER_02: That's brilliant.
- 6:16SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because you think about it.
- 6:17SPEAKER_02: Well, how do you get out of a date when you're not comfortable?
- 6:20SPEAKER_02: And that having a system like that is perfect.
- 6:23SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you freeze a lot of the time and you just go through the motions and shake your head.
- 6:28SPEAKER_01: So, you know, the thought was go to the bathroom or step away, collect yourself, then come back, have your phone under the table and push the red button and boom, out of there.
- 6:38SPEAKER_02: Why do you think this is really important nowadays to have a program like this?
- 6:43SPEAKER_01: I think it's really important because I think that dating has gotten more and more complicated.
- 6:49SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of people can hide behind their dating profiles.
- 6:54SPEAKER_01: You don't know what you're getting.
- 6:56SPEAKER_01: I I think that AI is great, but we have a customized LLM for dating and relationship advice.
- 7:04SPEAKER_01: So it's different than what everyone's using when they open up Claude or they open up chat.
- 7:09SPEAKER_01: Um so yeah, that's what I think I would say.
- 7:14SPEAKER_02: You know, Blair, I think this is wonderful.
- 7:16SPEAKER_02: And you know, I'm gonna, as a mom of four daughters, I'm gonna say thank you so much because said earlier, dating is not like it used to be.
- 7:24SPEAKER_02: It's so different.
- 7:25SPEAKER_02: It's so based on what a person reads about you, how a person looks in photos.
- 7:30SPEAKER_02: And when you get to a situation, it could be quite scary.
- 7:35SPEAKER_01: It can.
- 7:35SPEAKER_01: And you know, Candice, the other thing I wanted to mention is, you know, you could have a therapist that you see once a week or every two weeks, and it's it's very expensive.
- 7:44SPEAKER_01: And a dating emergency or needing clarity doesn't happen at three o'clock every other Tuesday.
- 7:51SPEAKER_01: You know, it happens at at midnight at you know, nine o'clock when a drink date is over.
- 7:56SPEAKER_01: And so this is great because it's cost effective.
- 7:59SPEAKER_01: It's$19.99 a month, and you get 30 minutes with your coach.
- 8:02SPEAKER_01: If you go over that, you can pay as you go.
- 8:05SPEAKER_01: And it's cost effective in a best friend coach in your pocket.
- 8:09SPEAKER_01: So it doesn't, it's not in um, you know, you still should see your therapist.
- 8:14SPEAKER_01: This isn't a therapist, but it's a great supplement to therapy, in my opinion.
- 8:19SPEAKER_02: This is great.
- 8:20SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm gonna ask you a question because there's women out there that maybe are in their 50s, their 60s, and even 70s that are now looking at doing some dating.
- 8:30SPEAKER_02: How does a person that might not have any experience with apps, how can how user-friendly is this for them?
- 8:38SPEAKER_01: It's extremely user-friendly.
- 8:40SPEAKER_01: You go into the app store, download, just push, you know, I want this app, and it will take you.
- 8:46SPEAKER_01: There's an explainer video that explains how the app works, and then you download it and it's it's very, very simple to navigate.
- 8:53SPEAKER_01: You either click on video coach, red flag analyzer, or SOS.
- 8:57SPEAKER_01: We also have a website, uh, pairlove.com, P-A-I-R-L-U-V.
- 9:02SPEAKER_01: P sorry about that, P-A-I-R-L-U-V.
- 9:05SPEAKER_01: So um, yeah, that's another option if you want to use it on your desktop.
- 9:10SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness, this is great.
- 9:12SPEAKER_02: So they can go to their iPhones and their Androids, anything like that, and they can go to the app store to purchase this.
- 9:18SPEAKER_01: Yes, and I've actually had a lot of 50, 60-year-old women using it and really loving it because, you know, 50, 60-year-old women, with we didn't have online dating back then.
- 9:28SPEAKER_01: So this is a whole new world.
- 9:30SPEAKER_01: And I really built this to help not only younger generations, but us 50 somethings that are trying to figure it all out.
- 9:38SPEAKER_02: And this is good for men and women?
- 9:40SPEAKER_01: Men and women.
- 9:42SPEAKER_01: Fascinatingly enough, when we did our first meta campaign, we saw a lot of men clicking on it.
- 9:49SPEAKER_01: And um my son actually said, as a single guy, it's a very confusing world out there with women, and they don't even know how to approach women.
- 9:56SPEAKER_01: So he was using it a lot for what do I text her?
- 9:59SPEAKER_01: What do I say to her?
- 10:00SPEAKER_01: This happened on my date.
- 10:02SPEAKER_01: What do I do next?
- 10:03SPEAKER_01: So decoding signals were good for him.
- 10:07SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, exactly.
- 10:08SPEAKER_02: And what I like most is that it sounds like it could be something you can use globally.
- 10:13SPEAKER_01: Yes, anyone, anywhere available in all over the US and other countries.
- 10:19SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
- 10:20SPEAKER_02: I think this is a a no-brainer for me.
- 10:22SPEAKER_02: Like if I was to go back into, you know, trying to date again, even if I didn't go on the online part, but just getting to know the signals, right?
- 10:30SPEAKER_02: You don't need to be on Tinder or anything like that to purchase something like this.
- 10:34SPEAKER_01: You don't, you don't at all.
- 10:35SPEAKER_01: Even if someone sets you up and you start getting mixed signals, fusion, it's great for that.
- 10:40SPEAKER_01: It's great once you're in a relationship, it gives great relationship advice.
- 10:44SPEAKER_01: So it's not just dating.
- 10:45SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're a few weeks in and there's some weird conversations happening, or you're trying to figure out who's gonna pay for something, or you have a weird experience where your person doesn't pick up the phone or doesn't text for hours and you have some suspicions.
- 11:02SPEAKER_01: I would say, Candace, the most important thing is to always listen to your gut.
- 11:07SPEAKER_01: And your AI coach will remind you of that again and again.
- 11:11SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of the time, as women and men, we know something feels off.
- 11:15SPEAKER_01: And it's just that reminder of having someone or something, you know, your best friend tell you, listen to that because it means something.
- 11:23SPEAKER_01: It's a potential red flag.
- 11:25SPEAKER_02: Yes.
- 11:26SPEAKER_02: Well, and you know, and I like it to be honest that you've done this with your son.
- 11:30SPEAKER_02: I have built businesses with my daughters, and it's been the most exciting thing ever.
- 11:35SPEAKER_02: You can have other people with you, but when you have family doing it with you, it's even the best, it's and so much more.
- 11:41SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
- 11:41SPEAKER_01: And you really it was done out of a labor of love.
- 11:44SPEAKER_01: He he did see me struggling uh in a couple relationships after marriage.
- 11:49SPEAKER_01: And we really did this because we have massive empathy for those people out there dating.
- 11:54SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't really for revenue, it was for empathy and wanting to help others and empower others.
- 12:00SPEAKER_01: So that was really the labor of love that it was born out of.
- 12:04SPEAKER_02: That's perfect.
- 12:05SPEAKER_02: And, you know, this is perfect for today's mini-series, you know, with speaking up and standing firm, because sometimes when you're trying to find yourself again after a long relationship, you know, your confidence has gone down.
- 12:17SPEAKER_02: You're not really who you are a lot of the times.
- 12:20SPEAKER_02: You know, you haven't found your voice again.
- 12:22SPEAKER_02: You you don't have those boundaries that sometimes you had already put out there.
- 12:26SPEAKER_02: And I think having something like this kind of reiterate, relimitate, oh my goodness, and it helps you get that those boundaries back, you know, it helps you find your story and be able to build the new version of you if that's what you're working towards.
- 12:43SPEAKER_01: That I love that.
- 12:44SPEAKER_01: And I've got I've got to be honest, I I've ended relationships and I have used this app myself to rebuild and remember who I am and what I stand for.
- 12:54SPEAKER_01: And it's been fabulous in helping guide me.
- 12:58SPEAKER_01: So if it could help me and it can help one other person to rebuild and feel empowered, that's the true gift.
- 13:05SPEAKER_02: Isn't it?
- 13:06SPEAKER_02: You know, using what we have to help others is honestly the best thing we could ever do.
- 13:11SPEAKER_02: And it's that ripple effect.
- 13:12SPEAKER_02: If we know we have helped one other person, then they're gonna pass it on and pay it forward to somebody else.
- 13:18SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
- 13:19SPEAKER_01: And I love that you're doing this podcast to promote that.
- 13:22SPEAKER_02: It's been so much fun, honestly, Blair.
- 13:24SPEAKER_02: And I have the ability to meet amazing women like you that are really changing people's lives because I truly believe that, you know, it's hard to do things by yourself, but finding the true partner that you're supposed to be with is is life-changing.
- 13:38SPEAKER_02: And but sometimes it's very challenging to be able to find that person and navigate it through it.
- 13:44SPEAKER_02: Like the world is so different and it's always changing.
- 13:46SPEAKER_02: And sometimes we need something to assist us.
- 13:50SPEAKER_02: And having friends and family, it's not always necessarily the best thing to bounce ideas and stuff from.
- 13:56SPEAKER_01: Sure.
- 13:57SPEAKER_01: And you know, friends and family could be biased, they could be judgmental, they could come from their own past and try to coach you based on where they've been.
- 14:07SPEAKER_01: So this is an unbiased best friend, and you literally tell your coach what you're trying to achieve.
- 14:13SPEAKER_01: I want this type of relationship, this these are the traits I'm looking for.
- 14:17SPEAKER_01: So the coach will fact check you and say, Did this print out these qualities?
- 14:22SPEAKER_01: How was your last conversation?
- 14:23SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was navigating the dating apps and it told me, Blair, don't go on dates before you have a phone conversation, which was a silly reminder, we all know, but sometimes you start texting someone, give them your number, and you meet.
- 14:36SPEAKER_01: Well, guess what?
- 14:37SPEAKER_01: Having the phone conversation rules out a lot of people and a waste of time for people you're not even aligned with on a phone call.
- 14:44SPEAKER_01: So there's tons of advice that the avatar coach gives that's really good that we don't think of, and maybe parents, family, friends, even therapists may not think of.
- 14:54SPEAKER_02: You know what?
- 14:54SPEAKER_02: I couldn't agree with you more.
- 14:56SPEAKER_02: I would be like that too, because I'm a person that's very spur of the moment and I make decisions not necessarily thinking about the consequences.
- 15:03SPEAKER_02: And having something like that just to kind of check you a little bit is really great.
- 15:10SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 15:10SPEAKER_01: And Candace, it really is a human-like experience.
- 15:14SPEAKER_01: It's it's a human one-to-one talking to you, looking in your eyes.
- 15:18SPEAKER_01: So for some people, you know, a claude or a chat where you're typing into your phone and you get these long answers, it's just a lot to process.
- 15:27SPEAKER_01: This is someone you're having an engaging conversation back and forth with that you know.
- 15:32SPEAKER_01: So, you know, you could pick it up anytime and pick up where you left off, which is really nice.
- 15:38SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's excellent.
- 15:39SPEAKER_02: Blair, I'm gonna ask you is are you planning something in the future?
- 15:44SPEAKER_02: Are you gonna be expanding this app or moving on to more apps?
- 15:48SPEAKER_01: That is a great question.
- 15:51SPEAKER_01: I would love to do more female empowerment apps.
- 15:55SPEAKER_01: I would love to help women dodge the bullet of dating, a narcissist, a sociopath, anyone that can take years from your life.
- 16:04SPEAKER_01: And before you know it, so much time has gone by and so much of your self-worth has been eroded.
- 16:11SPEAKER_01: So that's something I'm extremely passionate about.
- 16:14SPEAKER_01: And that's something that I would love to start at some point down the road.
- 16:19SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, that would be a game changer, honestly.
- 16:23SPEAKER_02: I think that would be a great thing.
- 16:24SPEAKER_02: And I know that at the Divis That Care would be love to promote you and help you do that and get that information out there because you just hear stories all the time.
- 16:32SPEAKER_02: I know that with the last 16 years, I've had the opportunity to interview amazing women like yourself and the stories that they've shared.
- 16:40SPEAKER_02: It's I'm glad that they've built this confidence and learned from the things that they've gone through.
- 16:45SPEAKER_02: But for the new generation, because now I see my daughters now in their 20s, and I'm like, I don't want you to have to deal with that.
- 16:51SPEAKER_02: I don't want you to have to, you know, waste those years and realize it.
- 16:56SPEAKER_01: I know.
- 16:56SPEAKER_01: I mean, it literally should be something called life skills of dating in college that you learn.
- 17:03SPEAKER_01: These are toxic behaviors.
- 17:05SPEAKER_01: And you know, sometimes I'm I'm talking firsthand, sometimes toxic people can present as very charming, very exciting, and very good looking and great on paper.
- 17:17SPEAKER_01: And then you start navigating the relationship, and before you know it, you're being manipulated.
- 17:22SPEAKER_01: And I built this because I experienced it firsthand.
- 17:27SPEAKER_01: So I think that uh going down that path and creating more tools for women to feel protected and to learn the warning signs early are definitely a passion of mine.
- 17:40SPEAKER_01: But for now, this does the same thing, and it's something that you can utilize for something as simple as why did he ghost me?
- 17:49SPEAKER_01: Or as serious as, you know, why is a girl texting him in the middle of the night and why is he lying to me and I feel manipulated?
- 17:57SPEAKER_01: So really you can use it for something very simple and something very serious in a first dating experience or on, you know, down the road in a relationship.
- 18:07SPEAKER_01: So it really has a broad reach, broad audience that you can.
- 18:11SPEAKER_02: Well, and I honestly love how you said that your son has used it too.
- 18:14SPEAKER_02: I think that's great because you know, we always automatically think that it's only men that do this and work, but it nowadays I find that a lot of you know women can do the same thing to a man.
- 18:24SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah, oh, absolutely.
- 18:27SPEAKER_01: Um, my son is 24, and so think about it, he's using it at 24, and I'm using it at 53.
- 18:34SPEAKER_01: So really there's a broad range, and we all want to find love of our life, and we just need a little help along the way.
- 18:43SPEAKER_01: So wherever we can get it.
- 18:45SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
- 18:46SPEAKER_02: Any bit any little bit helps, but doesn't it?
- 18:49SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, yes.
- 18:50SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
- 18:51SPEAKER_02: Blair, this has been so much fun.
- 18:53SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm I know that today's podcast really fit in for our topic, but I think that in the future we really need to dive into some other things to, you know, maybe assist our women out there.
- 19:04SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, Candace.
- 19:05SPEAKER_01: Definitely a question of mine.
- 19:07SPEAKER_02: And Blair, can I ask you one last question?
- 19:09SPEAKER_02: Is there any tips or tools uh that you would like to leave with our listeners today?
- 19:14SPEAKER_02: Any words of advice?
- 19:17SPEAKER_01: Words of advice, I would just love to say trust your gut.
- 19:20SPEAKER_01: There's red flags and there's green flags.
- 19:23SPEAKER_01: When the red flags start piling up, get out early, do not stay.
- 19:29SPEAKER_01: And uh there's a all it takes is one person out there for you.
- 19:34SPEAKER_01: So there's a lot of people out there, and don't stay in a situation that feels unsafe or not aligned with who you are and what you're looking for.
- 19:44SPEAKER_02: Perfect advice.
- 19:45SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
- 19:46SPEAKER_02: And Blair, where can you just give us our your social media handles again so our listeners can go and check you out and go get the app?
- 19:54SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
- 19:55SPEAKER_01: It's Pair Love, so P-A-I-R-L-U-V, and we have a Facebook and an Instagram as well as a TikTok.
- 20:05SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for taking your time today.
- 20:07SPEAKER_02: I really appreciate you having you on here today, Blair.
- 20:10SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Candice.
- 20:11SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
- 20:12SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you having me.
- 20:13SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
- 20:14SPEAKER_02: And to all of our amazing listeners, I will let you know I'm going to be posting all of Blair's social media links so that you can click on that too and go directly to her sites.
- 20:23SPEAKER_02: Remember to share, like, and comment on these podcasts.
- 20:27SPEAKER_02: And I also, last minute, is make sure you do something kind.
- 20:30SPEAKER_02: You know, the world needs a little bit more kindness.
- 20:33SPEAKER_02: You know, there's a lot going on in people's lives.
- 20:35SPEAKER_02: And even going up to somebody and smiling and wishing them a wonderful day will really help them out.
- 20:40SPEAKER_02: So I hope that all of you have a fantastic day.
- 20:43SPEAKER_02: And until next time, take care, everyone.
- 20:46SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
- 20:47SPEAKER_00: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
- 20:50SPEAKER_00: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on divas that care.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.