Latest / SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions / The battle between weight loss and enjoying your food
Transcript
- 0:00Music.
- 0:39Okay, y'all, I know that weight loss can feel like this massive battle between
- 0:45eating what you want versus becoming a healthier version of yourself, okay?
- 0:52And I want you to hear me say that you are not alone in this.
- 0:55This is one of the most common issues I see among ladies before they come to
- 0:59my program, and sometimes they even wrestle with it inside of my program, okay?
- 1:04But there is a way to have both, right? There's a way to enjoy your food while
- 1:09also feel like you're becoming a healthier person and see the physical changes you want to see.
- 1:15And so today we're going to talk about that.
- 1:18It's going to be a little bit different. You know, usually I've got like my
- 1:21points that I hammer out and, you know, all that.
- 1:24And so this today, I just really want it to be more like a conversation.
- 1:27Of course, we have a direction that we're headed in here. But I do just kind
- 1:31of want to talk about it in a relatable way,
- 1:34in a way that offers some understanding behind this concept of how to, you know,
- 1:43eat how you want to eat and still lose weight.
- 1:46But then also the concept of why maybe you feel some of that shame and some
- 1:50of that frustration in your weight loss, even though like even if you've adopted
- 1:54this mindset of like, OK, all foods fit and balance and everything in moderation.
- 1:59Like, sometimes, you know, we can still find ourselves in that frustration,
- 2:03you know, with ourselves and with our food choices. And so we're just going
- 2:07to kind of dive into it today.
- 2:10So the first thing I want to really, like, press on is that diet culture has made us this way.
- 2:17And so I know you'll hear me a lot on here kind of poking at maybe like TikToks
- 2:23or Reels or, you know, even, you know, just Reddit.
- 2:27Like any kind of information out there that you're overly consuming about weight
- 2:32loss because you're really consuming diet culture if you aren't careful.
- 2:38Like if the algorithm got you twisted, you know what I mean?
- 2:42Then you are consuming diet culture, right?
- 2:45And so a lot of diet culture has trained us to think is that we have to eat
- 2:50gross food if we want to feel good in our skin.
- 2:53I mean, that is why the cottage cheese trend came as quickly as it left,
- 2:58y'all, because people were out here talking about how good these cottage cheese, you know,
- 3:03ice cream is or whatever it was and like making it out like it sounds so good.
- 3:09And then what did y'all do? Y'all went out and bought up all the cottage cheese
- 3:12at the grocery store and made the ice cream and it was freaking gross, you know?
- 3:19And so you're looking at this skinny thing on your TikToks and saying like,
- 3:24well, she said it was delicious and, you know, she liked it.
- 3:28And that must be why she's skinny because it wasn't good.
- 3:32You know what I mean? And so diet culture has kind of.
- 3:39Like lose weight or to feel good in our
- 3:42skin or whatever the food we eat has to
- 3:45be gross and we could we could see that trend across all kinds of
- 3:47things like don't remember when people were like making black bean
- 3:51brownies and you know all like just anything
- 3:54you can think of and now I will say I think cottage cheese has its place it
- 3:59can be a really good substitute in like casseroles or things that like we use
- 4:03it in our mac and cheese and we blend it up real good and literally no one knows
- 4:08that it's there, you know, because that that's where it belongs.
- 4:11It belongs in more savory type things.
- 4:14But anyone who wants to try to believe that cottage cheese ice cream is going
- 4:20to be like Bluebell, well, baby, I mean, who are we kidding?
- 4:25You know what I mean? But either way, but this is what we're being fed all day
- 4:29in every shape, form, fashion, right?
- 4:32Or you'll just see a TikTok of like what I ate in a day.
- 4:36And she's got all kinds of like things you would never eat.
- 4:40So you immediately say to yourself, well, I can't eat that.
- 4:45Or I don't like that. So I can't be skinny, right?
- 4:48Like, I don't like those foods. So this is why she's skinny.
- 4:51And I'm not right. Like, these are the things that we just tell ourselves,
- 4:53you know, and like, even, you know, somewhere along the way, even in our childhood,
- 4:59you know, like all the way back, it's, it's wild how many, how many ladies I
- 5:04have that come into our program that just kind of reflect back on even,
- 5:08you know, when they were little,
- 5:09little girls and, you know, their mom or their grandma or somebody would say,
- 5:14you know, like, you can't eat that. It'll make you fat.
- 5:16You know what I mean? Or just imply that kind of thing around food.
- 5:19And so we learned even as far back as then, you know, that food that tastes good is bad.
- 5:28Like that, that is what, if you think about it, that is what we have learned.
- 5:32And so it's ingrained in us in a depth that we, none of us really probably even understand.
- 5:38And so while obviously, right, some food serves our bodies better,
- 5:43okay, like, you know, the fruit is definitely going to serve our body better
- 5:49than the donut, but placing the labels of good food or bad food or, you know.
- 5:58Food fat people eat or food, you know, skinny people sleep or,
- 6:01you know, that kind of stuff.
- 6:03Like there, there, we don't want to make room for that, but there is so much
- 6:09of that in, in our, you know, in our history, in our day to day,
- 6:15you know, amongst even just, even if our coworkers, like I can't eat that,
- 6:18you know, I'm trying to lose weight.
- 6:20Like that implies to you that, you know, oh, well I'm eating it.
- 6:24So I thought I was trying to lose weight too.
- 6:27But you know, like it just puts this implication on you.
- 6:30And so I really just want to like,
- 6:34Speak over that lie, you know, like that is a lie. It's a lie from the devil.
- 6:38It's a lie from everyone else around you and their insecurities.
- 6:41It's a lie from lack of knowledge, like lack of true application.
- 6:48You know, like next week I'm talking about how to be confident in your food.
- 6:53And this is a topic that I will cover a lot, or how to be confident in eating,
- 6:57you know, for weight loss.
- 6:59And so this is a topic that harp on a lot on that episode, just about a lot
- 7:04of people just follow rules that they've heard or that they've seen or that,
- 7:07you know, that some coach told them instead of really like knowing for themselves
- 7:13what they can and cannot eat in their weight loss journey.
- 7:17And then they project it outwards onto other people, you know,
- 7:20and it's just like so, oh, I want to cuss.
- 7:25Like it is just so frustrating because it can, especially when we're in our
- 7:30first stages of trying to lose weight and trying to lose weight in this way
- 7:34of all foods fit, you know, everything in moderation, it can really derail us.
- 7:39It can really kind of be a mindset, you know, mess up because you have people
- 7:46reinforcing this idea that's already ingrained in you from childhood, right?
- 7:51That you cannot lose weight if you eat the cookie or if you eat the donuts or if you eat the whatever.
- 7:56And so I just I really want to like, drive it home that like,
- 8:00you can, you know, you can like, it's it's what I've built my life on.
- 8:05It's what I've built my business on.
- 8:07You know, it's what we've had 1000s of successful clients, you know, doing.
- 8:12But it does take some well, first of all, like understanding and knowledge of how it all works.
- 8:20But also it takes some accepting that other people's voices may enter in your
- 8:27head and they may throw you off track every now and then,
- 8:31but you've got to keep coming back to this concept and keep coming back to what you know.
- 8:35And then when you start proving yourself right, well, then that confidence comes
- 8:40and then you feel like you're able to stand stronger on what you believe. Okay.
- 8:45And so the biggest kicker here is to allow yourself to accept that all foods fit.
- 8:54We can eat the donut and still lose weight, whatever, without.
- 9:00Allowing that shame, guilt, or self-sabotage to creep in and take over, okay?
- 9:06It may try to come, right? But we can't let it stay.
- 9:11And so from all the depths of the things that we've learned and the things that
- 9:15we've heard and whatever, like it's going to come, y'all, even still,
- 9:18sometimes, like I'll be like the dietitian, the weight loss queen up around
- 9:22here, you know, locally, like a lot of people know me as what I am,
- 9:26you know, but even still, like, they'll be like, oh,
- 9:30you know, I didn't, they don't know the depths of my program, right?
- 9:33And so they'll be like, oh, I didn't know that you ate things like that.
- 9:36And so then it'll, I'll like take a step back and I'll be like,
- 9:39wait, should I be eating things like this?
- 9:42Hell yeah, I should be eating things like this, you know, like,
- 9:44this is what I, what I've built this on, you know, but, but even still,
- 9:48just like that, that lie will try to creep in.
- 9:52And so we can't completely shut it out.
- 9:55But we can know that it's coming, stay aware of it, and then let it pass on
- 10:01by instead of sitting in it and dwelling on it and creating like some narrative
- 10:06that's not true about our weight loss.
- 10:10And so science says
- 10:14like science tells us right that I mean
- 10:17we're going to kind of dive off into a little bit of science stuff here
- 10:20lightly nothing heavy today but when we're
- 10:23looking at it you know based on daily calorie consumption y'all
- 10:26okay and so daily calorie consumption is the only proven scientific way to look
- 10:33at weight loss okay call me if you want to argue about it okay daily calorie
- 10:39consumption is how we lose,
- 10:43gain, or maintain weight.
- 10:46Depending on where your calorie consumption lands depends on what happens next.
- 10:50Okay, now can things like hormones or, you know, exercise or vitamin deficiency
- 10:56or not enough water intake, yes. Can all that play a part?
- 11:00100%. But if all that is in check.
- 11:04Then the way we lose weight is a calorie deficit, period, exclamation point, okay?
- 11:11And so there are so many programs out there that will twist it,
- 11:14you know, into, oh, points, or, oh, low carb, or, oh, high protein,
- 11:19or, oh, fasting, or whatever.
- 11:21But at the end of the day, none of this is proven to be,
- 11:27I guess the word would be like significant enough to trump just following a
- 11:36daily calorie consumption.
- 11:38Okay. So with that, as long as you're eating within your calorie needs for weight
- 11:43loss, you'll lose weight.
- 11:45Again, assuming all those other things we just talked about are shaken out well too.
- 11:49Now, food makeup obviously matters, you know, for staying full.
- 11:53And we've talked about that a million times over here, right?
- 11:56Like we need the protein to keep us full.
- 11:58We need the fiber to keep us full. If we ate sugar all day long, our sugar would crash.
- 12:02We would, you know, be hungry again
- 12:04in five minutes. We would overeat our calories, et cetera, et cetera.
- 12:08So the food makeup matters for
- 12:10staying full and giving our bodies the nutrients that it needs to thrive,
- 12:15meaning giving our body the nutrients that it wants to do the things that it's
- 12:19got to do to keep us alive and at our best each day.
- 12:24But if you decide to have a snack, like one day this week, you decide to have
- 12:31a small milkshake instead of your typical healthy banana and peanut butter snack,
- 12:37the weight loss gods will not come for you, okay?
- 12:41As long as you are still within your calorie range, okay?
- 12:47So if you tend to eat, you know, skinny pop every day for a snack,
- 12:52but today you decide to, you know, have a small fry.
- 12:58Sure, the skinny pop may offer a little more fiber, a little more nutrient density than the french fry.
- 13:04And the french fries may be fried and they may not serve your stomach very well.
- 13:09But weight loss wise, if the numbers shake out about the same,
- 13:14you're still going to lose weight.
- 13:16OK, and so this is where all foods fit, you know, is proven.
- 13:22And so, again, it's not about like eating French fries and milkshakes all day
- 13:26long, but it is about knowing that there's some you can easily trade out some
- 13:33things and still see the weight loss and enjoy the food that you love.
- 13:37Okay and so I do this often you know like in my in my day-to-day like if I know
- 13:42that we're having cake at a birthday party this afternoon or whatever I will
- 13:48forego you know maybe extra.
- 13:53Let's see what will I do so I will either do like so if I'm having a salad for
- 13:56lunch I'll like maybe keep the croutons off and the cheese off you know to give
- 14:01myself a little more room to make room for the cake,
- 14:04I may skip a two o'clock snack, or I may lighten up my breakfast somehow to
- 14:10just kind of make room for the cake that is coming, right?
- 14:14And so my ladies do this across the board. On Fridays, if they know that they're
- 14:17getting donuts, they still want to keep themselves full.
- 14:21So instead of having their normal like eggs with toast with a side of fruit,
- 14:26they'll just have eggs with maybe one slice of toast instead of two,
- 14:29and then they'll get one donut when they get to work, right
- 14:33and so it's just a balancing act and it's something that
- 14:36again we have which I talk about on this next episode a lot about just
- 14:39being aware and in tune with our food habits but it can happen okay so that
- 14:45is how we balance foods we enjoy with the weight loss now I want to talk about
- 14:52I want to move into restriction because a lot of times we feel like.
- 14:57We have to restrict ourselves from things for weight loss.
- 15:00And even as much as I just said that we don't, that science says we don't,
- 15:04I know some of you guys are like, well, that don't work for me, blah, blah, blah. Okay.
- 15:07I want to talk about why restriction is not ideal and it can actually work against
- 15:15you in your weight loss. Okay.
- 15:16Because it is not like a lot of times people feel like I'm just not strong enough.
- 15:21I just, I just don't have the willpower. I'm just not, you know,
- 15:24disciplined enough as she is to not eat the ice cream or not have,
- 15:30you know, the donut or whatever it is.
- 15:34And so it's really not about like person to person or I mean,
- 15:39sure, we all have our different like mental strength levels and that kind of thing.
- 15:43But what it's really about is like biology and psychology.
- 15:49Okay, and so this study, I've talked about it with my clients,
- 15:53and I'm going to kind of give the rundown with you guys here today.
- 15:55But this study truly just changed my life like so, so, so many years ago.
- 16:01And I think it just validates for a lot of women like what they experience when
- 16:06they do try to withhold or restrict certain foods.
- 16:11So it's called the cookie and radish study.
- 16:15And okay so they these scientists or I think they're psychologists took two
- 16:20groups of people nothing special about either group of people right and they
- 16:24split them off into two groups and they took one of the groups into no excuse
- 16:30me they took both of the groups into the same room,
- 16:33now one group they were the cookie group and they got told okay you can eat
- 16:39as many cookies as you want.
- 16:40The end, like sit here and eat as many cookies as you want, okay?
- 16:43And they were homemade, so you could like smell them. They had just come out of the oven.
- 16:47You know, y'all know what a homemade cookie room smells like. It smells delicious.
- 16:51So then they bring the other group in, and they are called the radish group.
- 16:56And so they tell the radish group, hey, y'all are going to sit in this room
- 16:59for a little while, and you can do whatever, but you cannot eat the cookies.
- 17:06You can eat as many of these radishes over here as you want,
- 17:09but you cannot eat the cookies, okay?
- 17:12So imagine this, sitting in this room, like salivating, like you are using all
- 17:19your senses, you know, to recognize the cookies in the room.
- 17:24So you're smelling them literally like your mouth is watering at the thought of eating one.
- 17:29You're visually watching the other people that are the cookie group eat the
- 17:33cookie you can they could even go there and touch them like they could pick
- 17:37them up right but they could not eat them.
- 17:42Okay, so this is like, this is what we try to, I want to pause here.
- 17:45Like, this is what we do to ourselves.
- 17:46Like, we throw ourselves into the world and we say, I'm trying to lose weight.
- 17:51So when all my co-workers are eating those cookies and donuts, I can't. I can't.
- 17:55When all my friends are going to Mexican, I can't. When my kids are eating candy, I can't.
- 18:01You know, like, you are doing this exact thing to yourself.
- 18:05Okay, whether it looks exactly like this or not.
- 18:08So then after a while, all these people left this room and they went into another
- 18:15room and they were given a test and it was like a perseverance test.
- 18:18So basically you had to do one step to get to the next step to get to the next step, right?
- 18:23And the goal was to see how far these people could go on the test.
- 18:28And so the results showed that the people of the radish group gave up way sooner
- 18:36than the people of the cookie group.
- 18:38Okay. And like, it was like, you know, they were done. They were out of here.
- 18:42They were like, I have exerted all my what all my willpower today.
- 18:47And I cannot for the life of me try to like, push through this perseverance
- 18:53test, like push through this test that requires me to keep building and keep exerting this,
- 18:57this energy because I have burned through all my willpower by not tackling somebody
- 19:03in the last room and stealing the cookie from them. Okay.
- 19:07And so this study, it was so, so impactful.
- 19:10Like it went on, like there have been, I think it's like over a thousand studies
- 19:15that came from this original study, because then it was like, oh my God,
- 19:19willpower is not something that like I have more of that you have less of,
- 19:25you know, or that, you know, people are wired with certain amounts of willpower.
- 19:30It's just like after a day
- 19:33of burning up your willpower by trying like like
- 19:36like not cussing out your boss right when he
- 19:39pisses you off holding your tongue when your kid
- 19:41asks you the same question for the 15th time you
- 19:44know dealing with the stress that comes through email or text or whatever you
- 19:50know getting a phone call that you really didn't want to get you know cleaning
- 19:53up the house even though you really just want to like lose your mind on everybody
- 19:56like all these things are wearing on what I call our willpower tank, you know,
- 20:02and so when we get to the bottom of the tank, what are we on? We're on E.
- 20:08We have no, we can't, the car can no longer go if we are on E,
- 20:13right? And so what do we do on E?
- 20:15We break down, we pull over, we give up, okay? And so this is where a lot of
- 20:20us will find ourselves with weight loss.
- 20:23We will exert willpower through the food, like I just talked about,
- 20:27right? With the Mexican, with the friends and the co-workers eating all the treats and all that.
- 20:31But you're still also exerting willpower, like I said, by trying not to cuss
- 20:35out your balls, dealing with all the stress, you know, whatever.
- 20:38And so then when we hit E.
- 20:41We binge. We overeat. We say, screw it.
- 20:45I am not trying to lose weight anymore. I cannot handle all this. This is too much.
- 20:50I want the chips and queso.
- 20:53You know what I mean? And so we wear down our willpower tank. Okay.
- 20:59And so this is why every restriction, mindset, strategy, whatever that you have
- 21:06ever tried to accomplish has failed because it is impossible.
- 21:11And so, and two, it's paired with, you know, the fact that the more we think
- 21:17about not having something, the more our brain is like trying to remind us to not have something.
- 21:22And so it's like, oh no, we're not eating cookies. We're not eating cookies.
- 21:25Oh, look, there's a cookie where you may have never, you know,
- 21:28seen a cookie prior, but like now you see cookies everywhere.
- 21:31There's the cookie store there. You know, like our brain is purposefully reminding
- 21:36us of the one thing that we want to stop doing.
- 21:40And it thinks it's protecting us, you know, it's, but, but it,
- 21:43but it's really just reminding us that, oh my God, we can't have cookies and
- 21:46gosh, I really, really, really want to have a cookie. Right.
- 21:49And so this is why, this is like, sure, the science says it, right?
- 21:53Like calorie wise, we can have the milkshake or we can have the banana and peanut
- 21:56butter and still shake out either way.
- 21:58Science says it but also like psychology says that and I'm I mean I just feel
- 22:03like psychology is truly the
- 22:05root of lasting weight loss psychology says that we cannot cut things out.
- 22:12Especially the foods that we love and that are tempting to us and expect to
- 22:17keep them cut out forever and so we go from either zero or 100 like we cannot
- 22:22we don't find a middle ground if that's the way we're approaching food.
- 22:26And that's the way we're approaching like life in general, right?
- 22:30And so, you know, that leads me to we've just got to change our mind.
- 22:33Like you've got to change your mind about how you think about eating,
- 22:37you have got to stop this restrictive, or even on the flip side of that over
- 22:41excessive, like exercising or eating the, you know, protein or whatever,
- 22:46like you've got to stop making it such a all or nothing thing,
- 22:51because you are wearing down your willpower, right?
- 22:54You have to be willing to make peace with the fact that it's not always going
- 22:59to look perfect, that you are going to have a hard day.
- 23:02And the hard day may not have anything to do with you trying to withhold certain foods.
- 23:06And you're still going to binge on food anyway, because you just burned through
- 23:10your willpower that day, right?
- 23:12But then you're gonna have to make peace with the fact that you can't run from that.
- 23:17You have to accept that, right?
- 23:20You have to accept it how it came, and then just say, okay, I'm going to get back to it later, right?
- 23:27And so then the more we do this, the more we start to prove to ourselves like,
- 23:32dang, okay, I'm making peace with food. I'm not really labeling any foods.
- 23:37I'm not shaming myself for having foods.
- 23:39But then I have stuck to this weight loss thing way longer than I ever have before.
- 23:45You know, and I'm still getting to eat food I love and I'm still seeing some results.
- 23:50Right? Because it doesn't feel so heavy. It doesn't feel like such a pressure,
- 23:55you know, as weight loss typically does.
- 23:58And then we see ourselves easing into this daily, like this is our new habit, right?
- 24:02To have peace with food, to say, you know what, we're going to Mexican with my co-workers today.
- 24:06And, you know, I know Constance on her Mexican podcast a few months ago said,
- 24:11you know, she gets the fajitas with no shell.
- 24:13And, you know, but I really, really want that burrito. And I also want the margarita
- 24:16and I also want the chips and queso. So and so, you know, I'm making peace with
- 24:20that, that like these are the foods I'm eating and I know it's not going to
- 24:23keep me in my calorie deficit, but I'm okay with that.
- 24:27And I'm just going to get back up and start back at it tomorrow because this
- 24:31is worth it for me, right?
- 24:34And then tomorrow will come and you will. You'll get back on your game.
- 24:37You'll eat your healthy breakfast. You'll bring your packed lunch.
- 24:40You'll cook a healthy dinner for your family. and you will see that the weight
- 24:44comes off and you are much happier while you're doing it.
- 24:48You don't feel like you're in a bootcamp while you're doing it.
- 24:52It feels like the flow of a natural, normal life while you're losing weight.
- 24:57But again, you have to lessen those expectations.
- 25:00You have to lessen this whole, like I can't eat this and I can't eat that and
- 25:04I've got to lose this amount of pounds by this time and I've got to do X, Y, Z.
- 25:08You know, like we've got to loosen our grip on that or else it will never be peaceful. sis ever.
- 25:13And I will tell you, this is going to be the hardest for you after,
- 25:17like after the milkshake.
- 25:19Okay, like, or after the Mexican night with your friends.
- 25:24Because your brain is going to want to tell you that you're a failure.
- 25:28You know, like you went out, you had the burrito, you had the chips and queso,
- 25:31you had the margarita, you had the best time.
- 25:33When you were sitting there with your friends, you were thinking,
- 25:35I am so happy I did this. And I have no regrets about this food.
- 25:39And you know, this is exactly what my soul needed. You know,
- 25:42you'll be sitting there thinking that.
- 25:44But then when you get home or the next day, your brain is going to say, why did you do that?
- 25:51You ruined it. You should have stuck to the fajitas, like Constance said.
- 25:57You shouldn't have had that second margarita. You shouldn't,
- 26:01shouldn't, should, should, whatever, right? Like, it will come,
- 26:04you will get a lot of judgment.
- 26:06From yourself, about yourself. And so again, this is normal. This is natural.
- 26:12This is what you have done since you were a child, right?
- 26:16Like when your mom said, no, maybe we shouldn't have that second bag of Doritos.
- 26:23And then you went back, you got that second bag of Doritos anyway,
- 26:25and then you got in trouble.
- 26:27Okay. Or you got to feeling guilty because you disobeyed or whatever it is, right?
- 26:32Mom said, last week, mom said, Doritos make you fat and I've had two bags,
- 26:37so I'm going to get fat, right?
- 26:39Like these are, these are things, these are pathways and habits and,
- 26:43you know, protection mechanisms, really, if you can believe that,
- 26:47because your brain doesn't like anything new. Your brain likes it to be the same. It's always been.
- 26:52And so it's, it's, it's a way of your brain trying to cope with,
- 26:58no, this is what we do When we overeat, when we eat, quote, bad foods, this is what we do.
- 27:04We shame ourselves so that we'll stop eating, quote, bad foods.
- 27:08Okay? And so you just have to be aware of it. Like your brain is going to go
- 27:11there. It's going to want to do that.
- 27:14And pep talk yourself for it before and after it.
- 27:20You know, find yourself some Bible verses to claim over yourself.
- 27:25Or even better, just give it to God. like, yes, Lord, I am shaming myself right
- 27:31now because I ate that extra,
- 27:33you know, or I drank that extra margarita or I had that burrito or I did,
- 27:37you know, XYZ and I am not feeling good about myself right now.
- 27:43But instead of dwelling in it, I'm going to give it to you and I'm going to
- 27:46choose to continue to walk in this way that I know is the way for me to walk
- 27:49right now with food. Okay.
- 27:52And so before it too is a really good, like,
- 27:56Thinking about it beforehand can
- 27:58be absolutely life-changing for a lot of people for two reasons, right?
- 28:02Like you're sitting down at the Mexican restaurant with your friends or you're
- 28:06walking in or you're, you know, you're driving there and you're thinking.
- 28:09Okay, how am I going to handle food today?
- 28:12Like I like, I like to do it like really close to the actual moment, right?
- 28:17Because you can start the day saying like, we've got girls night tonight and
- 28:20I'm going to, I'm going to eat right and I'm going to do my best.
- 28:23But again, it's the beginning of the day. You just woke up from a lot of rest.
- 28:28You haven't experienced, you know, customers calling and complaining or your
- 28:34kid being sick or your husband being in a bad mood or your co-workers,
- 28:39you know, not doing their job.
- 28:40So you're having to pick up their extra slack or, you know, like all these things
- 28:43haven't happened for you yet today.
- 28:45So just like we talked about a minute ago, your willpower tank isn't as low
- 28:50in the morning as it's going to be by the end of the day.
- 28:53So a lot of that's why a lot of times you'll say like, I'm going to do so good
- 28:56tonight when it's, you know, 8 a.m.
- 28:58But then 6 p.m. comes and you're like, screw it, you know, and you find yourself again in that regret.
- 29:04And so I like to say to check in with yourself about your choices,
- 29:08be like right before the moment.
- 29:11OK, so slowing down when you pull in the parking lot or whatever and just sitting
- 29:15there for a minute and going, okay, let me register what's about to happen.
- 29:19Like, I know I've had a hard day.
- 29:20I know my willpower tank is on E.
- 29:23Like, I know that I intended to like make wise choices today.
- 29:27But like, what do I really want to do at this dinner with my girlfriend?
- 29:35So I haven't seen in a month or whatever.
- 29:37And what will I be okay with afterwards?
- 29:42Right? Because a lot of times we can go from zero to like, it's all or nothing.
- 29:46So we can just pull in that parking lot and say, I've had a bad day.
- 29:49So baby, let's it's on like, let's get these margaritas. Let's eat this chips and queso.
- 29:53Let's, you know, get the burrito and let's even get the what is it?
- 29:56The sopapilla for dessert.
- 29:57Like you are you are all in because you because you were completely going off the rails from your day.
- 30:04But if you sit and you think like, what would truly make me feel better?
- 30:07Like, what do I really want in this moment?
- 30:09I know I'm not going to stick to my guns as much as I thought I was first thing this morning.
- 30:14But where's the middle ground? Like what could I be okay with both ways?
- 30:20Like be okay with to enjoy myself tonight and then also be okay with after I
- 30:24get home by myself without having that regret that comes.
- 30:28So maybe it's having the chips and dip and the margarita, but not the burrito.
- 30:32You know, maybe it's having the burrito, but not the margarita.
- 30:35Like, I don't know. I don't know. Or maybe it's all of it.
- 30:38And you just make peace with the fact that you're doing it. You know,
- 30:41however it works out, there's no wrong way, but just thinking about it beforehand,
- 30:47registering what's going to happen and what might be a consequence of it, right?
- 30:52Like if you eat all that stuff at Mexican, you may not see weight loss this
- 30:56week, you know, because calorie deficit is not going to be achieved most likely, okay?
- 31:03But is that okay? Are you going to be okay with that?
- 31:06Are you going to be okay to not shame yourself on the back end because of it.
- 31:10And just truly checking in with yourself and being aware in that moment can be a game changer.
- 31:14And for a lot of us, it will allow us to make a better choice.
- 31:19Not the best choice, right?
- 31:21We're still not going to go in there and like only eat the fajitas and not have
- 31:25the chips and queso, not have the mark. Like, no.
- 31:27But you will feel like you've done better than you would have. And that's the win.
- 31:33Okay? That's the win. It just, you get, you give yourself that time to consider
- 31:38whether it's worth it and to tell yourself that that like we accept.
- 31:44You know, the aftermath of it. So to wrap up today,
- 31:50I really, I want to challenge you to just like think back on the past few weeks
- 31:54and reflect on any occurrences where you may have felt bound up by food,
- 31:58like whether it was an overeat and regret afterwards or a splurge that you felt
- 32:03guilty about or a food that like you really wanted that you wouldn't allow yourself
- 32:08to have and think through these experiences and analyze how like they could
- 32:12be hurting your progress. stress in the long run.
- 32:16Like these are things that we are like suppressing and pushing down and like
- 32:20they're constantly still trying to come up in our weight loss.
- 32:23And so if we aren't looking at them in the eye, then they hold the power over us. Okay.
- 32:30And they give us proof to continue to speak negatively over ourselves about food.
- 32:37And then when we do that long enough, y'all, when we wear ourselves down long
- 32:41enough, what do we do? We give up, you know, and we accept the lies that we're telling ourselves.
- 32:46And so I think just taking some time to really examine, like,
- 32:49okay, ate five cookies yesterday and didn't even realize it.
- 32:54And then after that, I have felt so much shame about myself.
- 32:57I really didn't even want to try today because of the shame that was covering me.
- 33:02Right. But can you give yourself some like grace in that?
- 33:06Can you say like, well, dang, I really didn't even register that I was eating those five cookies.
- 33:11Or dang, I was having a stressful day and my willpower tank was on E.
- 33:16And I see that now after this podcast. And so I.
- 33:21I know now that I need to be making an effort to like fill up my willpower tank, right?
- 33:25With like rest or grace or, you know, quiet time or things that fill me up,
- 33:30that give me energy and give me joy.
- 33:32And so then maybe next time I won't turn to the cookies, you know,
- 33:37or I see that I really, really wanted that cake at that wedding I was at last weekend.
- 33:44And it just, it had a hold on me. Like I didn't end up having the cake and I
- 33:49thought I'd be more proud of myself than I was because of that.
- 33:52But really, I was just super frustrated because all I thought about during the
- 33:55wedding was the cake. I didn't really think much about the bride.
- 33:58I didn't really, you know, stay present, having fun with my husband or whatever,
- 34:02because the cake had so much control over me.
- 34:06And so maybe next time I should, you know, just let myself have the cake.
- 34:11Like maybe next time I should just be a little more like present with the fact
- 34:16that like it's okay to have all the foods, all foods fit, right?
- 34:21And so again, this is just individual for you. But again, I think things like
- 34:26this, experiences like this have a hold on us until we break the chains and
- 34:31until we say, no, I am choosing grace.
- 34:33I'm choosing forgiveness. I'm choosing love for myself. even still,
- 34:38even though I was disappointed, right? We all make mistakes.
- 34:44And I can see now that, you know, there was a disconnect there, whatever it was.
- 34:49I didn't know the information I know now, or I had a hard day or whatever.
- 34:53So anyway, yeah, this one was just one that's been on my heart.
- 34:57And I felt like I needed to like get it out there.
- 34:59So I hope you guys enjoyed it. And as always, of course, especially in this
- 35:04episode about navigating, you know, eating the good foods while still losing
- 35:09the weight, y'all remember to stay grace.
- 35:11Music.