Latest / Voices for Voices® / Rewire Your Brain From Self-Critic to Self-Champion | Voices for Voices Episode 412

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Rewire Your Brain From Self-Critic to Self-Champion | Voices for Voices Episode 412 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hey everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much for joining us on the show and uh for your constant support, watching, listening uh from one of uh over 100 countries and over 1,000 cities across the world.
• 0:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, let's see if together we can make it, and let's reach out and see if we can reach over 300 countries and territories and over 3,000 cities uh across the world.
• 0:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know we can do it.
• 0:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're here because of you.
• 0:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're watching, you're listening, you're sharing.
• 0:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, people are paying attention, and uh we are uh again, uh we we're very grateful uh to have this opportunity to uh come to you on the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 1:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's so amazing the to think that uh the work that we do and how small of an organization, how few people we have on staff, how few dollars and cents we have.
• 1:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh we're literally just blown by goals on a zero budget model.
• 1:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
• 1:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, and uh we we want to thank each and every one of you, uh, whether you're on our side or whether you're against us, we have nothing but love from us to you uh as human beings.
• 2:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, so thank you for joining us.
• 2:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh what I guess whatever your prerogative is to be uh to be watching.
• 2:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh what we're going to do on this particular episode is uh we're going to dissect a little bit uh a song that just came out recently in uh preparation for an album release.
• 2:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And again, I guess first and foremost, this is not a voices for voices song.
• 2:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're not trying to claim it's ours because it's not.
• 3:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we're gonna just jump right in.
• 3:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so what we uh have uncovered is a song uh by Nick Jonas.
• 3:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So Jonas Brothers.
• 3:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Anyone heard of them?
• 3:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh maybe, maybe you have.
• 3:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and Nick is uh uh what it what it what it appears to be uh coming out with a fresh new album in February of 2026, which is just in a matter of a few short weeks, a couple short weeks, uh depending on when exactly it comes out, right?
• 4:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So sometimes uh release dates get pushed back, sometimes they get moved up.
• 4:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, but what what it's looking like is you know the first or second week, maybe in in February.
• 4:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so this is a uh song uh from uh the album that Nick Jonas is uh going to be coming out with uh to the to the public, and the song is titled Gut Punch.
• 4:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So like I guess if like somebody were to hit us in the gut, I guess would would be uh how that how that goes, I guess.
• 5:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So what I'm gonna do first, I'm I'm just gonna read through the lyrics, and again, uh for all the the copyright infringement people out there, uh, I'm not uh claiming this song is voices for voices at all.
• 5:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is Nick Jonas's song.
• 5:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It is a song that looks to be coming on his upcoming album, and we just want to talk about uh how and and and how it comes together, uh talking about you know fatherhood and you know, maybe some mental health uh parts as as we go through.
• 5:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So first first thing I'm gonna do is read through the the the lyrics.
• 5:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So uh we're gonna do that, and then we're gonna go part by part.
• 5:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So there's verses, there's chorus, there's post-chorus, another verse, uh another chorus, another post-chorus, there's a bridge, a chorus, and an outro.
• 6:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I will uh cue up each each part as we get there.
• 6:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So again, this is Nick Jonas' song titled Gut Punch, G-U-T-P-U-N-C-H.
• 6:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So this is verse one.
• 6:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And again, I'm not gonna this isn't one of my uh times where I'm gonna try to sing this or I'm just gonna read.
• 6:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Okay.
• 6:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Verse one, I think my hair stopped growing.
• 6:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is that even a thing?
• 6:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Haven't lost any of it, but something ain't the same.
• 6:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe it's a metaphor.
• 6:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is it even that deep?
• 7:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I think my hair stopped growing, or is it me?
• 7:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I called Phil a couple times.
• 7:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He's probably sick of me.
• 7:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He said, Go easy on yourself, but what does that even mean?
• 7:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sounds like good advice, but I just can't hear it right now.
• 7:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The chorus hit me like a gut punch.
• 7:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I hurt my own feelings.
• 7:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How did I get so good at being mean to myself?
• 7:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I should turn down the heat, I should turn the heat down, tell myself to chill out.
• 7:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Damn, I really hate the way I talk to myself.
• 7:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then the post chorus is hit me like a hit me like a verse two When the hell did I start trying to be perfect and people pleasing?
• 8:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is it ever really worth it?
• 8:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Fake smiling just to pass the time.
• 8:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's the only way I've been getting by.
• 8:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Looked at myself and I can't even recognize who I am behind those eyes.
• 8:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One big disguise.
• 8:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Chorus hit me like a gut punch.
• 8:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I hurt my own feelings.
• 8:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How did I get so good at being mean to myself?
• 8:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I should turn the heat down, tell myself to chill out.
• 8:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Damn, I really hate the way I talk to myself post chorus, hit me like a bridge.
• 8:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Now what would it be like if I just try being nice to the person that I'm seeing in the mirror?
• 9:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah, if you find that inner child haven't seen him for a while, let him know he's doing fine.
• 9:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Chorus hit me like a gut punch.
• 9:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I hurt my own feelings.
• 9:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How did I get so good at being mean to myself?
• 9:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I should turn the heat down, tell myself to chill out.
• 9:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Damn, I really hate the way I talk to myself.
• 9:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Outro hit me like a yeah, yeah, oh oh yeah.
• 9:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hit me like a gut punch.
• 9:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Oh oh oh yeah.
• 9:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So the So the song Gut Punch by Nick Jonas is what we just finished reading the the the lyrics uh off of genius.
• 10:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's g-e-n-i-us.com forward slash Nick dash Jonas dash gut dash punch dash lyrics.
• 10:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that is where we found this song.
• 10:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, this is not a voices for voices song.
• 10:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is a Nick Jonas song, and this is a song that uh was brought to us recently, and we thought it would be a good idea to uh again as we you know we're in 2026, uh, so we we are gonna have episodes that are are gonna have little little different twists sometimes to them.
• 11:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um and so this is one of them.
• 11:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so this album is looking to be released by Nick Jonas sometime in February of 2026.
• 11:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So very shortly.
• 11:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh looks like the name of the album is going to be called Sunday Best.
• 11:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So Sunday, like the day of the week, and then best B-E-S-T, uh, the producer, if everything is accurate, on this webpage.
• 11:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh Ryan Daly, R Y A N D A L Y.
• 11:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we're going to we're going to start at the top and and uh and and put some some of our thoughts behind what we think parts of the song might mean and how it might relate to our own lives, because that happens a lot where uh music tends to transcend countries, uh it transcends everything, right?
• 12:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It it's it's music.
• 12:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So when you see or hear of a particular band or artist or musician uh that's traveling, you know, from you know my home country, the United States, to other countries, other cities across the world, uh, music is a big uniter.
• 12:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that's what we uh what we do here at Voices for Voices.
• 12:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So as we get started here on verse one, uh where Nick's song says, I think my hair stopped growing.
• 13:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is that even a thing?
• 13:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Haven't lost any of it, but something ate the same.
• 13:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe it's a metaphor, or is it or is it even that deep?
• 13:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I think my hair stopped growing, or is it me?
• 13:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, I think this part for me, again, we're we're talking our our opinions on this song.
• 13:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it's not our song, uh, but we're we're just offering opinions, and uh I can I can very much re relay uh on I think my hair stopped growing, where things that would stay relatively constant.
• 14:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So whether I mean I'm thinking back in the days when my my hair would grow longer, uh, and then I and then it would grow in not just long longer, but more like the thickness, so it would be thicker as well.
• 14:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and my hair, obviously growing up now in my 40s, isn't quite the same.
• 14:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's also these grays that can't gray hairs that that tend to come in uh or have they come in uh more than what I what I'd like.
• 14:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and so this hair part of the song of you know it that my hair stopped growing.
• 14:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I haven't lost any of it, but something ain't the same.
• 14:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it seems like Nick's just noticing there's just something that's just there's something just different that's going on at this point in time uh in hair of something, you know, we just think of hair it grows and then it gets trimmed, or sometimes it gets shaved all all the way off, uh, if there are certain maybe certain um health challenges, uh, or an individual just decides that that that they just wanna they just want to shave their hair uh off and and be bald.
• 15:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and so it's really just thinking about that that growing and then that trimming, that growing and that trimming, uh growing and then that maybe coloring the hair, or getting a perm or uh you know those types of things.
• 16:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so Nick in this part of the song is uh doing a lot of searching, it seems, like like hair stop growing, is that really it is that even a thing?
• 16:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like, can it stop growing?
• 16:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so that's kind of that first thought.
• 16:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The then the next the next area.
• 16:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I called Phil a couple times.
• 16:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He's probably sick of me.
• 16:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know who Phil is, who he's re uh who he's referring to.
• 16:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know if he's referring to Dr.
• 16:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Phil McGraw.
• 16:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I I don't I don't know.
• 16:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh but this part I called Phil a couple times, he's probably sick of me, and he he said, meaning Phil, go easy on yourself.
• 17:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So this Phil, whether it's Dr.
• 17:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Phil McGraw or a different Phil, is telling Nick uh, hey I know you're I'm I'm not sick of hearing from you.
• 17:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's kind of implied, and then saying, you know, go easy on yourself.
• 17:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's it's easy in life to go hard on ourselves.
• 17:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's easy to have these thoughts of what's going on, you know, the hair symbolism growing, and did it stop growing?
• 17:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is that even a thing?
• 17:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then here he has Phil, uh whichever Phil he he's talking about, uh saying, hey, just just go easy on yourself.
• 17:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like everything's everything's okay, you're good.
• 18:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um it's it's okay.
• 18:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um then and then Nick says it sounds like good advice, but I just can't hear it right now.
• 18:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um I've experienced this before where receiving you know information, advice at various times where like man, I like, yeah, that that sounds like good advice, but I don't know.
• 18:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know like if if that is something that if I if I should do it, or it's just it just kind of passes through my mind.
• 18:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, you might might have heard I've heard over the years, you know, in one ear, out the other, where we're we're talking to somebody and they may be talking and sharing or offering advice, help trying to be helpful, and for whatever reason, whether we want to or not, that this advice or the this conversation, what we're hearing, it feels like we're not able to hear it because it feels like it's just gone like I can't I can't actually hear it where it sticks in my mind, or I can think about it at a little deeper of a level.
• 19:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so Nick's saying, Yeah, yeah, Phil, you're saying go easy on yourself, but what does that mean?
• 19:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What does that even mean?
• 19:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Go easy on yourself, and I can relate uh where It sounds easy.
• 20:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It says go easy on yourself.
• 20:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Things sound easy to somebody on the outside of well, why did you do that?
• 20:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or why would you be thinking that?
• 20:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or why wouldn't you try this instead of that?
• 20:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and and so this wholest like questioning of you know, if we talk about you know being a uh being a parent, being a mother, a father, of I'm trying to do the best I can, then maybe it's not good enough.
• 20:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or you know, where can I get this, you know, quick help?
• 20:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and yes, there's a lot of books and a lot of you know coaches out there that you know say that they can help, and yeah, they probably help a lot of people, but at the end of the day, we gotta believe it ourselves.
• 21:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So the person who wrote the book or who's given the talk uh or having a show, they've believed in it.
• 21:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's why they're doing their thing, but it's up to us to get to the point where we have to believe it, and so I think that's what Nick might be referring to.
• 21:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It sounds like good advice.
• 21:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I just can't hear it right now.
• 21:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um yeah, so let's so let's move on to the chorus.
• 21:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, the hit me like a gut punch.
• 21:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I hurt my own feelings, whatever symbolism we want to use, Nick's using a gut punch, uh, you know, kind of taking the wind out of our sail, out of uh just out of our body, like the just you know, taking the wind out.
• 22:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He's gotta, you know, slow down, take some deep breaths, and uh just take it easy.
• 22:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh talks about hurting his own feelings.
• 22:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Says, I I hurt my own feelings.
• 22:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How many of us have hurt our own feelings?
• 22:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I've definitely done that.
• 22:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um maybe you haven't, maybe you have, I don't know.
• 22:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um, but I know I have.
• 22:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so sometimes it's something that we've heard or we're you know on social media and we're seeing whatever these, you know, these what look to be perfect perfect pictures and stories, and like, oh my gosh, these people like they're just living like on the beach all the time.
• 23:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They're uh whatever, you know, driving this car, or they're doing these things, and uh it's easy for us to set you know to hurt our own feelings because what what do we do?
• 23:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One what's one of the biggest things we do as human beings is we judge and we look at others and we judge and go, Oh, like I may have done, you know, I'm maybe I was able to rent a car as nice as I'm seeing on social media.
• 23:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But at that current time, if I'm not driving that car, which I'm not, um again, I said I rented it so a couple days.
• 24:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um It's like we're you know we're hurting our own feelings by continuing to look look at these these photos, these videos, these reels, these stories.
• 24:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh or we could have just taken something out of context that somebody may have said to us.
• 24:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh uh I again I I know I have I've done that, and and it's hard, you know, we're trying to do the best we can, the best way we know how, and you know, we're we're hearing you know, bits and pieces with conversations with others, but are we letting it sink in?
• 24:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or are we not?
• 24:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Are we second guessing the other person or the other people?
• 25:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then that makes us second guess ourselves.
• 25:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So this is deep.
• 25:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We just got verse one in the chorus.
• 25:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and really the second part of the chorus says I should turn the heat down, tell myself to chill out.
• 25:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Damn, I really hate the way I talk to myself.
• 25:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So at the beginning, he said of the chorus, Nick Jonas says, you know, hit me like a gut punch.
• 25:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So knocking the wind out of me, I hurt my own feelings.
• 25:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm telling myself something, and it's hurting my feelings, and then it might make me want to close down and uh and yeah, just close down.
• 25:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and then he said, How do I get so good at being mean to myself?
• 25:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, we we know what buttons to push on our minds, and whether we know it or not, uh we we do it, we do it from time to time.
• 26:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I'm speaking for myself, uh you know, hurting my own feelings.
• 26:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's a lot of times where we may not do it on purpose, but we just do.
• 26:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then we say, how do we get so good at it?
• 26:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, because we've done it before, and so it's kind of like this whole, you know, if it's an athletic team, an athletic sport, you know, the more you practice in general, the the better outcomes are gonna happen.
• 26:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so it's kind of the same thing here in the chorus where it says, you know, hit me like a gut punch, I hurt my own feelings.
• 27:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How'd I get so good at being mean to myself myself, because I've done to myself over and over and over and over and over and over and over again over the years, or months, or days, or weeks.
• 27:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, so that's what I would say.
• 27:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So, you know, whether it's about being a parent of uh trying to have our our child or children around the uh you know, know the the right the right friends and the right people and the right situations.
• 27:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And sometimes you know, we can't control all the variables.
• 27:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um, I know I've done that and done then that way, and and then obviously saying, you know, hey, let's just turn the heat down, let's just let's just chill out and and and just live.
• 28:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and then it and then at the end of the chorus says, damn, I really hate the way I talk to myself.
• 28:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So then we're we're reinforcing how we're internalizing the conversation in our own mind.
• 28:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um then the post-chorus, there's hit me like a hit me like a and then verse two, uh Nick Jonas is talking, you know, why the hell did I start trying to be perfect?
• 28:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And as we know, nobody's perfect, and he knows that as well, so he he's not claiming to be perfect, but like a lot of us, even though we know that to be a fact that nobody else is perfect on earth, um it's like you know, when when did I when did I start trying to be?
• 29:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And you know, he also talks about people pleasing.
• 29:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is is people pleasing ever worth it?
• 29:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I would say no.
• 29:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um that's really how Voices for Voices came to be.
• 29:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was I wasn't even trying to like please others as much as I was trying to please myself with certain jobs and certain titles and uh working at you know organization where I could do some traveling, uh, and those types of things where it's like who am I who do I report to?
• 29:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like what what am I what am I here on earth to do?
• 29:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like why am I why am I still here at age 44?
• 29:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's gotta be there's gotta be a big a bigger bigger reason why why I'm still alive, uh, other than just again, we we've talked about it before.
• 30:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, we go to bed and we wake up and then we do things and then we do more things and then we go to bed, and then it just the that repetition just continues over and over again.
• 30:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and then the next line says fake smiling just to pass the time.
• 30:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're the fake smiling, or or just that you know, that I don't want to say like reclusive, but you know, just kind of turning inward to ourselves, uh to pass the time.
• 30:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and then Nick says here verse two, it's the only way he's been getting by, you know, this fake smiles and uh people pleasing, whether that's family, whether that's outsiders, uh when did you know trying to be perfect come about?
• 31:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh man, it it this so relates to so much for for me the with mental health and as a as a parent.
• 31:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and then the last two lines of verse two are very telling.
• 31:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so looked at myself, I can't even recognize.
• 31:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So he's looking at himself, I'm thinking, I'm I'm I don't want to assume, but for me, the way I I see that or see this line uh the verse too, where I'm looking in the mirror and I don't even recognize myself because somewhere, some way I've veered off the beaten path for whatever reason or reasons.
• 32:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then the last line here in verse two who am I behind those eyes?
• 32:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One big disguise.
• 32:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that's where I'm I'm picturing for myself.
• 32:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm looking in the mirror, and I'm not seeing who I feel I want to be, whether that's as a parent, whether that's a professional in the community, uh, with our shows, with trying to help over three billion people and reach over 300 countries from 100 countries and and to help reach over 3,000 cities across the world and not just over 1,000 cities.
• 33:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so we have this in our mind of well, here's what I think I'm doing.
• 33:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But then I look at myself in the mirror potentially and go, Whoa, like that doesn't that doesn't look like the person that I'm trying to be.
• 33:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And yeah, it says I I got this big dis the who am I behind these eyes, one big disguise, you know, just as if somebody's I don't know, Halloween or uh whatever the you know the TV show or or the holiday where it's like, oh, I look like I'm wearing one big disguise, and I may be, and is that what I want to be?
• 34:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then the chorus comes back in, hit me like a gut punch, I hurt my own feelings.
• 34:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How did I get so good at being mean to myself?
• 34:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I should turn down the heat, tell myself to chill out.
• 34:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Damn, I really hate the way I talk to myself post-chorus, hit me like a, and then here comes the bridge part of the song.
• 34:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Now, what would it be like if I just tried being nice?
• 34:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I get so previously it's how to get it so good about not being so nice to myself, and then now we're slowly moving in the other direction of well, what what would it be like if I just tried being nice to find to the person that I'm seeing in the mirror?
• 34:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So when I said about seeing myself in the mirror, and right here he has uh Nick Jonas has this uh part in in the song, uh and then the last three lines, the bridge, if you find that inner child, you know, where you have that drive and determination, and I want to do all these things, and I want to, whether it's getting a degree from a university or a college or working, starting my own business in the trades, uh, and you know, be an electrician or uh HVAC rep or it it's like if you find that person I haven't seen them for a while.
• 35:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Where like where they go.
• 35:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I'll bring in my opinion here, it it falls so much in line with my own life in instances where growing up, you know, you have all these goals and doing these things, and obviously when sports weren't working out for me and I wasn't getting the grades, I I thought about joining the military, uh, and then I went to college and then almost flunked out, I guess, is the way to like put out where I would be in college for like 10 years, probably, if I wouldn't have gotten my act act together.
• 36:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so I went on to actually be a better student, be a better, I don't know, be a better person, I guess, from because being a better student meant that I was able to help people and I was in group settings, even though I didn't really care for group group projects.
• 37:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um, because I always ended up, at least what I felt, that I was always the one that was picking up all the slack in a group project.
• 37:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I felt like I was doing some good by doing that to get the project done.
• 37:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so then I graduated in my under with my undergrad.
• 37:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Then it took me, I think, six months or so, because I didn't have an internship.
• 37:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It took me, I think it was six months after I graduated college, uh, till I got my first job.
• 37:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then I went back to school, got my master's.
• 37:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and then it was at that point when there was a job reduct, uh job workforce reduction at the company I was working with or working at.
• 37:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I I think that might be part of like where like a lot of the nerve started really to come in, where every day I would come into work after that day that people are being walked out the door saying you don't have a job anymore.
• 38:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh good luck.
• 38:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I was always on edge after that.
• 38:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, I might have been on edge before that, but that's when I really feel that it I started to feel it uh that I was on edge, like, oh my gosh, what if that happens next month or next quarter?
• 38:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and so then that that caused me to look for other employment because it's like, well, I need to I need to go to another company because this would not happen at another company.
• 38:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um news alert, it does, it happens on just about every company.
• 39:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I'm not saying every single company, but a lot of companies it happens too.
• 39:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I was wrong in that thinking.
• 39:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then it was at that point when I was like, okay, I went to college, I got my undergrad, I turned it around, I became a real good student, and then I got my master's degree, my MBA master's in business administration.
• 39:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then I was like, well, what next?
• 39:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I automatically was thinking, well, everybody, not everybody, a lot of people that I was in the master's program with, they were getting promotions after they finished their degree.
• 39:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I wasn't, and so I was like, Well, there must be something.
• 40:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Wrong with me, uh, or I'm not being valued or something, and and so then the decisions really because I'd always had like these goals like finish undergrad once I got turned around, then find a job, then find uh go back to school and get my masters, and it was after that point I was like, now what?
• 40:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like, is this what I'm gonna do the rest of my life?
• 40:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is this work?
• 40:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I wasn't enjoying it at that point.
• 40:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So when Nick says and got this the song gut punch, if you find that inner child, haven't seen him for a while, let him know he's doing fine.
• 41:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I could have, oh my gosh, and maybe I did hear it, maybe I did hear somebody say this.
• 41:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, and I just again, I just thought I knew everything, which is totally not the case at all for no for anybody.
• 41:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, but I'm I'm admitting it.
• 41:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I have no problem admitting it.
• 41:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and so basically the song saying, you know, tell tell that inner child, you know, have that drive, that determination.
• 41:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh you're doing alright.
• 41:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I always learned when I when I first started to lift weights, and I I I I could get back into that.
• 41:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I that would be a good thing for me.
• 41:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When I was first started to lift weights, when the one of the one of the gentlemen that was in there seemed to be almost around the same times that I was I was in in the gym, he would just say, because we you know, we would lift weights, and then we would say, Oh, I maxed out, meaning I was able to do one repetition of whatever this weight is, 100 pounds, two whatever the number is.
• 42:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And he would always tell me, he said, Justin, that you're doing great, but try not to let this be the end-all be-all, meaning that there's always gonna be somebody, or just about always, is there gonna be somebody that's gonna be stronger than you?
• 42:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So if you're doing this particular exercise 200 pounds one time, somebody's gonna come in and do 205 pounds one time, and then somebody's gonna, and then when I started doing 205, somebody's gonna do 210.
• 43:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And at the time, I I I was just like, oh, yeah, like of course, but it wasn't getting through to my mind.
• 43:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was still just thinking, like, oh uh, I'm I'm good, uh, that's fine.
• 43:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If but then I would get this competitive nature uh of trying to do is more and more and more.
• 43:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And when I was finding where I couldn't, you know, live more and more and more, kind of hit like this this plateau, it was like, okay, my my professional life was was stopped.
• 43:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There was very few.
• 44:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I could have gone for my PhD, I could have, you know, there's all different trainings and different things, but I was really at a plateau there, and then I was at a plateau at my job because I wasn't really on a rotation of getting promoted within the next couple of years, and so what I don't know if you know the how much of that encouragement of like you're doing you're doing fine, you're doing all right, like you're doing, you're doing fine.
• 44:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was I had this competitive spirit, and there always was something next that I was able to like focus my my mind on.
• 44:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So when so when Nick says in gut punch here, or Nick Jones says, if you find that inner child, haven't seen him for a while, let him know he's doing fine.
• 45:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That that that part is me to a T.
• 45:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then the chorus.
• 45:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So as we start finishing out the song, hit me like a gut punch.
• 45:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I hurt my own feelings.
• 45:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How did I get so good at being mean to myself?
• 45:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I should turn down the heat, tell myself to chill out.
• 45:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Damn, I really hate the way I talk to myself, and then the outro goes, Hit me like uh, yeah, yeah, oh oh, yeah, hit me like a gut punch.
• 45:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
• 45:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So the album coming out in in February by Nick Jonas called uh Sunday Best, produced by Ryan Daly.
• 45:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And it looks like this is going to gut punch this song that we just kind of did a review uh of kind of like my mental health and and parenting and and and school and accomplishments and how my life relates to this song Gut Punch from Nick Jonas.
• 46:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And uh it you know, we're just gonna close out by saying that it is it's just so it's we take ourselves so seriously.
• 46:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We we we take ourselves so seriously that man, life is so short.
• 46:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's it's just so short.
• 46:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And this song is a perfect reflection for me of kind of bad mouthing myself inside my head.
• 47:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like, okay, what are you gonna screw up next time, Justin?
• 47:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What are you gonna screw up today?
• 47:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What are you gonna you know, are you are you gonna amount to anything?
• 47:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Anything else?
• 47:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is this it?
• 47:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so that's why I'm doing all kinds of uh why we decided with the organization to really look at some different avenues which you've seen, some of them so far.
• 47:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you've seen the shows, right?
• 47:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So this is like this is the lifeblood of the organization, the foundation, the voices for voices, TV show and podcasts.
• 47:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, if you can hit that subscribe button, give us thumbs up, like, follow, share, reach out to 25 of your closest friends, family, followers, let them know.
• 48:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, we do want to we want to reach that goal of hitting and reaching over 300 countries across the world, uh, over 3,000 cities across the world from up from 1,000 cities where we're at now, uh, just over 1,000 cities uh across the world.
• 48:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we want to help over 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 48:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we can't do that alone.
• 48:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We can only do that with your your help.
• 48:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And uh it's because of your demand of watching and listening uh that we're we're even still here uh doing doing our shows, we're doing TikTok lives from time to time.
• 48:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're doing uh uh we've we've published uh a few books.
• 49:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh look for more on that front.
• 49:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That there's gonna be uh additional media uh uh uh that's gonna uh be be coming because we we really are we're voices for voices.
• 49:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm lucky I'm able to speak somewhat somewhat decently, but there's some that aren't.
• 49:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and so I'm trying to do the best that I can with the gifts that you know I'm a believer in God.
• 49:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh you don't have to be.
• 49:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh but I I feel like this is what this is a gift that I'm at least able to speak.
• 49:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And while it doesn't always make sense, uh I know I'm not perfect.
• 49:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I say um, um, um, I say like, like, like, I say so, so, so I get it, but I'm I'm being a human being because that's what I am.
• 50:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm a human being.
• 50:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so thank you for joining us on this show.
• 50:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So much appreciated.
• 50:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have nothing but love coming from us to you, no matter where you're at in the world, uh, no matter if you're a believer or not, and you believe in a higher power, you know, that's not for us to question uh at all.
• 50:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, we are we're we're sharing what we're sharing.
• 50:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um and uh, you know, we can what what we're one of the one of our kind of big overarching goals is we just want to help people, we want to unite people, we don't want to divide people.
• 50:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And this is one way we can do it where we can talk through music.
• 50:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh so I want to thank Nick Jonas uh for writing the song Gut Punch.
• 51:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Wish him all the best with uh not only that that single, but uh his upcoming his upcoming uh album, Sunday Best.
• 51:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh we hope nothing but the best success, prosperity, health, um, and and just by having the lyrics available, we're able to talk through things and how it how they relate to us.
• 51:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And just want to say thank you.
• 51:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we are open to having uh Nick on on our show.
• 51:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh if you want to be on, uh you you got a slot that we'll make it happen.
• 51:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So until next time, this is Justin Alan Hayes with Voices for Voices.
• 51:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's celebrate the voices of everybody from coast to coast, ocean, I mean, all across the world.
• 52:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And lastly, let's be a voice for you or somebody else in need.
• 52:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you.
• 52:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Take care.
• 52:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: God bless the United States and God bless you wherever you may be across this beautiful planet Earth.
• 52:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We love you, and we invite you to come back for another episode.
• 52:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Take care.
• 52:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Bye bye.