Latest / Called to Serve / Jennifer Varner

Transcript

Jennifer Varner · Called to Serve

0:01
Hello and welcome back. This is called To Serve, a
0:06
podcast where we share weekly stories from women who've been
0:09
ordained by the Canadian Baptists of Atlantic Canada.
0:13
We've spoken with almost 100 of these pastors, chaplains,
0:17
missionaries, and community leaders as we learn what it's
0:20
like to be a woman in ministry. Today you'll hear from Jennifer
0:23
Varner. Jennifer was ordained by the
0:26
CBAC in 2004, but now pastors A charismatic ministry called
0:32
Wellspring Christian Community Outreach in New Germany, NS.
0:37
Jennifer reflects on a challenging a church departure
0:40
and describes what she gained from her years as a Baptist
0:44
before making the difficult decision to pastor in another
0:47
denomination. My name is Jennifer Varner, and
0:55
at the time that I served with the Baptist Convention, my
0:58
maiden name was Jodri. I'm a child of the 70s,
1:03
eighties, 90s, and that was a time when there really was a
1:07
strong push or teaching that gender didn't matter, that a lot
1:12
of the sort of role things were stereotypes and we should not be
1:17
bound by stereotypes. My father, he had three
1:21
daughters. He never made us feel like he
1:24
had wished for a boy. I never really thought about
1:27
whether the something was male or female.
1:30
We played with Barbies, We played with Tonka trucks.
1:33
I grew up in a Christian home. Right from conception.
1:37
My father would read Bible stories to us and Mom and Dad
1:42
would both rock us and sing hymns and choruses.
1:45
When we had difficulties, we would pray about things.
1:50
Dad would refer to scripture for help.
1:54
God wasn't just something we knew about or believed about.
1:58
He was somebody that was involved in our our daily lives.
2:02
I remember in grade 3A, very close friend of mine who did not
2:06
know Jesus. I remember standing on the
2:10
playground so wanting him to know the Lord.
2:13
And this fellow didn't accept what I was saying.
2:16
And I felt so frustrated because I thought I'm just not sharing
2:19
correctly. I'm just not saying it right
2:21
because I couldn't understand why someone would not want the
2:24
love of Jesus in their life. It was a few years later, a
2:28
fellow named Doctor Andrew McRae came to our church.
2:33
When he asked if anybody wanted to come forward, I knew I had
2:38
already accepted Jesus, but I, I did.
2:40
I came forward. So he talked with myself and
2:44
with my pastor and they arranged for me to participate in
2:49
baptismal classes. And then I was baptized in the
2:53
Bridgewater Baptist Church. I had other role models, pastors
2:58
whom played an important and integral role in my life, in my
3:02
growing up, in the formation of my faith.
3:05
They never treated me or their ministry as a gender based
3:08
thing. It was a human based thing.
3:11
It was a Christian based thing. And during my younger years, I
3:14
never felt called into ministry. I had always wanted to be a stay
3:18
at home mom. I worked at the local Baptist
3:22
youth camp, my grade 11 and 12 year at that time.
3:25
The director of that camp was also a pastor named Miriam
3:29
Erstrom, and I believe you've interviewed her.
3:32
She had spoken to my parents and I didn't realize at the time
3:36
that she felt that I would make an an excellent minister.
3:40
That wasn't on my radar. I knew I was good at teaching.
3:43
Both of my parents were school teachers, so I went into school
3:46
teaching. I worked in Nova Scotia for a
3:49
few years. I at that point didn't really
3:53
feel confident in recognizing the voice of God.
3:55
So I told God, I'm willing to go wherever you want me to go.
3:59
But the first place that contacts me, offering me a job,
4:03
I'm just going to say yes. So make sure that that's the
4:06
place you want me to go. Because see, I had put out my
4:08
resume across the country, so it would have been in 9596 that I
4:15
received a phone interview with a Christian School in Rocky
4:19
Mountain House, AB, and they offered me the position.
4:22
So when I was out there, God really taught me some lessons to
4:26
do with faith and the Holy Spirit and things like that.
4:29
One Sunday morning I just said, God, whatever you want me to do,
4:33
that's what I'll do. And it wasn't long after I
4:35
prayed that prayer on a Sunday morning in church that my
4:38
younger sister, who was going to be directing Long Lake Camp,
4:43
contacted me. They couldn't find someone to do
4:45
what was called the spiritual director role, which was Bible
4:48
studies and Vesper Services. And so she and one of the board
4:53
members contacted me asking if I would fill that role.
4:58
They had a a weekend of staff orientation, which was the first
5:02
part of camp. And during that time, I had
5:06
staff members coming up to me talking about things that were
5:09
weighing heavily on their hearts.
5:11
A lot of it had to do with things that they felt guilty
5:14
over, things that they had done in their past.
5:17
I would get them to just pray, talking to God about, you know,
5:21
whatever it was that was bothering them and turning it
5:23
over to him, asking his forgiveness.
5:25
And then I'd say, OK, now it's done.
5:27
Like if that ever comes up again, because I believe God
5:31
exists. I believe Jesus exists.
5:32
I also believe that Satan exists.
5:34
And so I said, if he tries to bring that up to you as an
5:37
accuser, I said you can just tell him to be quiet because you
5:41
already dealt with it with God throughout that week.
5:44
It was like God just sort of kicked me in the head and said,
5:47
this is what I want you to be doing all the time.
5:50
Yes, you're supposed to be teaching, but you need to be
5:53
teaching this. And so I returned back to Rocky
5:58
Mountain House and I went to my principal and I told him I would
6:02
be returning home and I would be training for ministry.
6:06
The principal was like, we'll do whatever you need if you need
6:10
for us to Commission you now as a missionary.
6:13
Like he was going to let me out of my final year of contract.
6:17
But I said no, no, God's given me the, this will be my final
6:20
year here. So I didn't have to break
6:22
contract. So when it came to me saying
6:26
that I want to go into ministry, feeling called to go into
6:29
ministry universally within my sphere, it was supported.
6:34
I wish that other people could say the same thing.
6:37
My parents supported it. My pastors from Bridgewater,
6:42
Hugh McNally, he was extremely supportive.
6:45
I know that when I entered Divinity College, I would hear
6:49
the testimonies of other women having had huge opposition and
6:55
even opposition to the point of their home church refusing to
6:59
support them or give any letters of, of commendation or anything
7:03
like that. And, and it, it broke my heart
7:05
for them. All of the staff was extremely
7:08
supportive. In fact, I think particularly
7:12
Doctor Allison Trites, he was my New Testament professor.
7:16
And So what he encouraged me to do was an essay on the topic of
7:20
women in ministry, basing it in scripture.
7:23
Even even though you read some things about Paul saying women
7:26
to be silent or whatever. He also said for those who are
7:30
speaking in tongues or prophesying to be silent if
7:33
someone else stands up. Using the same language in in
7:37
the original Greek and looking at Priscilla and different ones
7:42
in the scriptures who seem to be a contradiction to what the
7:48
Bible says. But when you look, you can see
7:50
how Paul was telling women to learn.
7:53
It might have been in quietness, but that's how any good Jewish
7:56
student was supposed to study and learn was was in silence.
8:01
So the fact that he was telling these women to learn was quite
8:05
revolutionary. I remember a woman that I was we
8:09
were sharing a house the last two years of of our degree.
8:13
I remember her walking into my bedroom looking at me and going,
8:16
Jen, am I an abhorrence? And I'm like, what are you
8:22
saying? She said, am I an abomination?
8:24
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
8:26
And see, she had been in conversation with someone.
8:30
They had said some very alarming things to her and that never
8:34
happened to me. So I talked to her about what
8:37
I've been studying with with doctor trites.
8:40
I don't know what the reason is that, but I just, I seem to
8:43
skate right under the radar and never had to defend my existence
8:48
there. In my second year of divinity
8:51
college, I had to do what was called supervised field
8:54
education. So that was where you would go
8:58
and work at a church while you were studying and you would have
9:02
a professor who was your advisor.
9:05
And I had been asked to come to Bear River to do a youth program
9:10
there. And it was funny because at the
9:12
time I, I, I did not feel called.
9:14
I was just going there because I was being asked to go there.
9:17
And it was a, a group of technically 4 churches, Bear
9:21
River, Clementsvale, and then Deep Brook and Clements Port.
9:25
So I started in the summer before my second year doing
9:30
youth work for those four churches and it was just before
9:35
Christmas I got a phone call from a fellow in Barse Corner
9:40
asking if I would do youth ministry for them.
9:43
That was of two point charge. It was Barse Corner and Parkdale
9:46
Maplewood. When he asked if I would come, I
9:49
knew I was called there. I knew that's where I was
9:52
supposed to go, but I'd already made a two year commitment to
9:55
Bear River, Clemensville, Clemensport, Deep Brook, and so
9:58
I told him, I said I would love to, but I can't.
10:02
I've made a two year commitment and I said I am pretty sure that
10:06
you will probably find someone. But I said when I've completed
10:09
my charge I will check back with you and see where you're at.
10:13
So at Christmas time, the churches I was working with did
10:18
a review and I shared with them what we had done, how many kids
10:21
we had, where they were coming from.
10:24
It was a largely successful youth group.
10:26
It was not costing anything more than what my salary had been
10:30
that they had agreed to when they first asked me to do this.
10:33
So that was on a Saturday and my advisor said to me, well, after
10:39
you left, first one church and then the other church said we
10:43
can't afford to do this. And so the program was done.
10:48
I knew that that was God getting me to where I was supposed to
10:52
be. I'll tell you I was, Death
10:54
stated. Because I had this very prideful
10:58
thought. Well, if I'm not there, who's
11:00
going to look after these kids? I was brought up short because
11:04
I, I started recognizing the voice of God more and more.
11:07
And that's like, do you not think I can't use someone else?
11:11
So I had young people and parents that wanted to fight for
11:14
me and this and that. I'm like, no, no, you'll be
11:16
fine. God has someone for you, You'll
11:19
be fine. And in fact, 2 parents rose up
11:22
and took it over and took that youth ministry farther than I
11:25
ever could have. So it was exactly what should
11:28
happen. But it meant that I called up
11:31
the fellow that had contacted me from Barr's Corner and I said I
11:34
don't suppose you still are looking for a youth minister.
11:39
By February I was doing ministry as a youth pastor for Bars
11:44
Corner and Parkdale Maplewood churches.
11:46
While I was there they had an interim pastor.
11:49
They were looking for a full time pastor.
11:52
They had been so satisfied with the interim pastor who was a
11:57
retired minister, delightful man, but who was not looking to
12:01
become a full time pastor again. So that is how I got actually
12:06
into a senior pastor role. They asked that if I moved into
12:12
the senior pastor role, would Reverend Henshaw von Henshaw,
12:17
would he stay on for another year and he would mentor me for
12:22
the role of senior pastor. I have a sneaky suspicion that
12:26
it wasn't so much that they felt that I was called to be their
12:29
senior pastor as they were hoping to keep him on.
12:33
I think they were hopeful that he would change his mind.
12:36
This was 2003. So I was, I was 32 at the time.
12:41
And in looking back, you know, some of the things that I would
12:45
have done differently is I would have sat down with the
12:49
congregations. I would have talked with them
12:51
about what are your expectations on your pastor?
12:55
Here are what my gifts and skills are.
12:57
Do these mesh up? But you know, when they said,
13:01
you know, would you be willing to be senior, I just blindly
13:03
said yes because I love the people, I loved the area, love
13:06
the church. Like it felt like a perfect fit,
13:08
right? That's an unfortunate incident
13:11
that in hindsight, as I look back, it's like that may well be
13:15
how God got me into that position.
13:17
Like I was a single female pastor in a rural area.
13:22
So that led me into ordination. After you have, I think it's a
13:28
year or so of pastoring at a church, they can bring your name
13:32
forward for ordination. And I had two elderly gentlemen
13:37
speak on my behalf very warmly and I greatly appreciated it.
13:42
We had our ordination council in Mount Allison, Sackville, NB.
13:48
The process actually as daunting as it would seem to be because
13:53
you're, you're sitting in front of a, a group of individuals who
13:57
are asking you questions that you have to answer on the spot
14:01
'cause you do not know what the questions are going to be ahead
14:03
of time. Even though that would seem
14:06
daunting, the subject matter actually is your own beliefs.
14:10
So if you take the attitude of I'm just going to be honest,
14:15
there really isn't a wrong answer.
14:17
They might not agree with you, but it's not a wrong answer, you
14:21
know, because they're asking you what you believe.
14:23
At that time in the Baptist Convention, one of the
14:28
controversial debates that were going on at the time was the
14:33
performing of marriages for same sex marriage.
14:36
That was actually a question that was asked of each candidate
14:42
was what would you do or how would you respond to having a
14:46
same sex couple within your congregation?
14:49
I, I had to answer that honestly, which effectively was,
14:54
I said I wouldn't treat them any differently than I would treat
14:57
somebody who was living with their girlfriend or boyfriend.
15:00
I wouldn't pick out something and say, well, the Bible says
15:03
this is a sin, but we're not going to treat it as a sin, but
15:08
we're going to focus on this as a sin.
15:10
Like there are things that the Bible talks about in regards to
15:13
sexual immorality that we have narrowed and narrowed and
15:16
narrowed and narrowed and narrowed.
15:17
And I can understand why people who are homosexual feel that the
15:23
church is hypocritical because there are things that are in
15:26
scripture that are said to be wrong that for years we've
15:30
accepted. And so at the time, I just, I
15:33
was honest, there are those who are are no longer with the
15:37
Baptist Convention who talk about how when they were before
15:40
the ordination Council, they knew what the council was
15:43
looking for. And so they gave the answers
15:45
that they knew the council was looking for rather than what
15:48
they actually believed at the time.
15:50
And one really ought to be honest about what they believe.
15:54
Because if what I believe does not line up with the Baptist
15:56
Convention, that is just a world of heartache for me to be a part
15:59
of the Baptist Convention. And that's why years later I had
16:03
the opportunity where I had to ask myself, am IA part of the
16:06
Baptist Convention because this is where God has called me to
16:09
be, or am IA part of the Baptist Convention because this is what
16:12
I was born into. And I think that that's a a
16:15
question people need to be really honest about.
16:17
We have a tendency to hold denomination way more important
16:22
than the teachings of Christ. My beliefs and faith in the
16:26
teachings of Christ should supersede whether I'm Baptist,
16:30
Catholic, whatever. And so I shouldn't look at
16:33
Baptist as being right or Catholic as being right or
16:37
Pentecost, you know what I mean? Or or wrong for that matter,
16:41
because I believe that every denomination is part of the
16:45
family. And in the same way that a
16:47
family celebrates Thanksgiving or Christmas in a different
16:51
fashion, some people open their Christmas gifts on Christmas
16:54
morning, some people open it Christmas Eve.
16:57
We're still all celebrating the same thing, even if it looks
17:00
different. Once I asked God, OK, where is
17:04
it that you do want me? That was a year to two year long
17:08
process until I finally came to a place that, OK, this, this is
17:12
where God has called me, not just what I'm used to.
17:15
So in February of 2002, I began as youth pastor at Bars Corner
17:21
on Parkdale Maplewood and I was there until July of 2010.
17:27
I love the people dearly. There was a lot of positive
17:31
things. I think, again, like I said,
17:35
their expectations and hopes and and who I was were were
17:40
different. When I graduated from Divinity
17:43
college and people were asking me where I was going to go and I
17:48
told them that I was going to be going to these churches, I would
17:53
invariably get the same response and that was that they were hard
17:58
or difficult churches. I remember coming home from a
18:01
deacon's meeting in tears. I don't remember what the
18:04
content of the deacon's meeting was.
18:07
I just remember being greatly upset about it.
18:10
I said to God, God, you have chosen to keep me single to this
18:14
point. And that's fine.
18:15
I trust your timing. But just know that in this
18:19
moment, this would be the moment where my husband would put his
18:22
arms around me and tell me that everything is going to be OK.
18:25
And I need that right now. And I don't have that right now,
18:28
so I need you to do something. The phone rang.
18:32
It was my pastor from Alberta. She says to me, Jen, I just felt
18:37
like God wanted me to call you. I don't know why, but I'm
18:41
calling you. And so I poured out my heart to
18:44
her. And when I got off the phone,
18:46
I'm like, thank you, God. It was the only time she called
18:49
me. So I knew going into this call
18:55
that I was making a commitment, as if I was making a commitment
18:59
to a marriage with the potential of it going sideways, but with
19:04
the hope that there could be healing and progression, 'cause
19:11
I knew from being the youth pastor there was a lot of need
19:14
for healing. I don't believe a lot of that
19:18
healing has taken place even to this day.
19:21
When I first went to those churches, God gave me a verse to
19:24
cling to, and it was the one found in Ephesians that our
19:27
struggle is not with flesh and blood.
19:29
And so whenever there was a difficulty, whenever there was a
19:32
conflict, whenever there was an opposition, I'll go.
19:35
My battle is not with flesh and blood.
19:37
These people are not my enemy. I am not their enemy.
19:40
You know, this is not where our struggle is.
19:43
There were things like questions about visitation and stuff like
19:46
that. And I got to the point where I
19:48
was keeping a record minute by minute, like my day for a week,
19:53
for a month. So every month I would report to
19:57
the deacons and it would outline my times off, my time studying,
20:02
my times, preparing sermon, my times doing visitation.
20:06
I outlined everything because there was real trust issues.
20:10
And, and you had people catching deacons at the gas station
20:14
asking about how much visitation I was doing.
20:17
And the deacons would say, you know, she's giving us a record.
20:20
And those people not trusting the deacons and asking to see
20:23
the record. So, so there was some serious
20:25
trust issues, you know, and I, I can understand partly because
20:29
they had gone through a number of break UPS effectively.
20:33
Like when you looked over the history and there was a reason
20:35
why they were known as difficult churches is 'cause there was a
20:37
number of pastoral break UPS I would call it.
20:41
And they never seemed to heal. It just seemed to compound.
20:44
And so I would do whatever I could to try and allay those
20:47
issues. There used to be live Christmas
20:50
trees in the churches at Christmas time and one woman
20:55
would have sores break out on her lips.
20:57
Another person was having breathing issues, but what
21:00
happened was we're in the live Christmas tree, balsam fir,
21:03
Christmas tree capital of the world.
21:04
So it became a tension between life and livelihood.
21:10
So we had when we had votes on whether or not to have a live
21:13
tree or a fake tree, they voted for live.
21:16
Somebody said we'd rather have no tree than a fake tree.
21:20
And I'm like, OK, great. Maybe that's the consensus we
21:23
can come to. We'll have live tree outside and
21:26
nothing inside, right? Like we'll, we'll decorate with
21:29
Maryland or whatever and then and see that was voted down.
21:32
But we have this family who left in tears after those votes
21:36
because effectively they were being voted out at Christmas
21:39
time. So fortunately we had a Deacon
21:42
who did some some research and found decituous tree that could
21:46
be used as a Jesse tree or a Chris Monde tree where the
21:50
different ornaments would be symbolic and we could do a
21:54
service that would really draw the decorating of the tree back
21:57
to Christ and all of these things.
21:59
That was a bone of contention for certain individuals in the
22:02
church. For the remainder of my time
22:04
there, one of the biggest problems was that there was not
22:08
a clear vision within the churches as to what the what the
22:12
purpose of those churches were. So at the time we had a regional
22:16
minister and he had helped other churches with doing visioning.
22:20
And so I had asked if he would come.
22:23
And the hope was we did a Bible study or a book study on the
22:26
book called Healthy Small Church.
22:28
And we had a meeting in which we started a visioning process.
22:31
And the hope was that we would meet as the two congregations
22:37
together for the initial orientation and, and going
22:40
through what the process would be.
22:42
And then the two churches would split and each do prayer and
22:46
visioning because of course they were separate congregations.
22:50
And so once that was done, I would be able to say, OK, you
22:54
guys know where you're headed. That's not my gifts or skills.
22:57
So you now know what kind of pastor you're looking for.
23:00
And or I could say, ha, look at that, That's exactly my skills
23:04
and gifts and, and move forward. Unfortunately, we had the first
23:10
meeting and we never had opportunity to have a second
23:13
meeting because conflicts and difficulties just kept creeping
23:17
up and rising and communication kept deteriorating.
23:21
We we couldn't get healed. Things just fell apart in the
23:26
one church, the Deacon that could not stand up under the
23:29
pressure, she just sat down. She resigned from the board,
23:34
whereas in the other church the deacons decided to remove me.
23:39
I had decided right from the beginning when I was first
23:42
called that if I did not have the support of the deacons,
23:45
there was no way I should stay. So here I had one deacon's board
23:50
asking me to step down. There was another whole deacon's
23:53
board, another whole congregation that was going to
23:56
be involved. So I asked them to meet and if
23:59
they all felt the same way, then I would step down and we would
24:03
create a process for me to step down from those churches.
24:07
However, the Friday before they were supposed to meet, they
24:11
showed up on my doorstep again and said to me, because you were
24:15
unwilling to resign, we are firing you retroactively.
24:19
They never met with the other church.
24:22
What the process was supposed to be is that the deacons come to
24:25
me. Then somebody, a representative
24:28
from convention, would come in and mediate, and if that was not
24:31
going to be accomplished, then it was supposed to go to a vote
24:35
of the congregation. Step 2 and three never happened.
24:39
I asked if I could say goodbye to the congregation.
24:44
I was told no. I said OK because I didn't want
24:48
to cause harm. That was not my intent, so I was
24:52
trying to oblige them. In hindsight, I allowed them to
24:57
have more authority than I should have.
25:01
I should have probably held them to the process.
25:05
I think it would have been healthier in the long run.
25:08
But I I didn't want to make people more angry.
25:11
I didn't want to seem difficult. I was inexperienced.
25:15
Like I said, this was 20 years ago and I was devastated.
25:21
There were members of the congregation whom I happened to
25:23
see in a local store who were like, what happened to you?
25:28
Because I was there one Sunday and the next Sunday it wasn't.
25:31
They did not know why, so I just effectively disappeared.
25:35
The congregation members that did not have an issue basically
25:40
felt abandoned, and that's something I regret.
25:44
It was after that experience that I prayed about God.
25:47
What do you want me to do? I had not felt called out.
25:50
I had felt pushed out, not called out.
25:52
So do I go somewhere else or do I stay?
25:56
I had looked at the policies for the Board of Standards.
26:00
It talked about not using a church split to start a new
26:03
church. It talked about not immediately
26:05
going into a new ministry. So I had followed the protocols.
26:10
I had waited, took time to heal, took time to pray, but felt that
26:14
I was going to do an outreach. So ministering to people who had
26:19
addictions issues, you know, things like that.
26:22
Ministries that those churches were not doing and that was
26:25
fine. We're all called to different
26:27
things because there are people that experience God and can
26:31
connect to Him through traditions, formality, hymns.
26:36
And so I felt called by God to try to fill the gaps, the needs
26:41
that might not be being met by a particular ministry so that we
26:45
weren't in conflict. Hopefully we are complementary.
26:49
But I came under investigation. The church that had banned me
26:53
wanted me basically out of the community, like wanted me gone.
26:58
And so contacted the convention and brought me under
27:01
investigation as to whether or not I should still be there and
27:04
whether I had the right to minister in that area.
27:06
And it was funny because I got a call from a part of the
27:10
convention staff and I thought, oh, you know, how wonderful
27:13
they, they've heard about what's happened.
27:16
They're calling to give me comfort, support.
27:20
Instead they were calling to let me know that I was going to be
27:23
investigated, that my credentials were going to be in
27:27
question. So I, I really was put through
27:29
the wringer. I, I met with a, an
27:31
investigation council. They had lawyers and all sorts
27:35
of things. The lawyer said according to
27:38
their policies and documents, I had not contravened ministerial
27:42
standards. And so I do have a letter of
27:45
good standing as a result of that investigation.
27:49
When I was being examined, I was asked if the ministry that I was
27:53
going to be starting would be able to survive if they ruled
27:57
against me. I told them, well, yeah, I know
28:00
of another organization through which I can be credentialed.
28:03
And they seemed relieved by that.
28:05
As if, well, that's good because we don't want to stop you from
28:08
ministering, but we have to appease these churches.
28:12
I was also asked if I would be willing to give up my
28:16
denomination. That was very jarring because it
28:20
made me think. It made me pray about it because
28:22
my thought was what would you, how would you respond if you had
28:26
been in a denomination from the time of your birth, if it was
28:29
your home denomination, if it was your family and somebody
28:33
said, are you willing to give that up?
28:36
I think out of a desire for ease on their part, they didn't
28:40
really consider the depth or the seriousness that they were
28:43
asking. But it it was good because
28:46
throughout the whole process God kept asking me a question and it
28:50
changed slightly every time he asked it.
28:52
The question he kept asking is, is your reputation more
28:55
important to you than I? Is your denomination more
28:58
important to you than me? Is your family more important to
29:02
you? Like he kept asking these
29:04
questions. God did you know, is what other
29:07
people think of you more important to you?
29:09
Is people telling lies about you or telling the truth, gossiping
29:12
about? Like are those things more
29:13
important to you? And in each time it was like
29:16
this reluctant, no, no, Lord. And so I had to pray about, am I
29:22
in the Baptist Convention because this is where God has
29:25
me? Or am I in the Baptist
29:27
Convention because I was born into it?
29:29
And I don't think I'd be where I am if I hadn't been born into
29:34
the Baptist Convention. I have a conviction of belief, a
29:40
strength of faith that I wouldn't have, I don't think, if
29:44
I hadn't been brought up in the Baptist.
29:46
Like there are things that laid a foundation for me, like we
29:51
build our our lives on the rock and Jesus is the rock, a firm
29:55
foundation. But I didn't come to that by
29:59
accident. I was taught these things.
30:01
I had people help me lay my building of my life on on Jesus.
30:08
So I'm ever grateful for that. It's sort of like going to a
30:12
school and then moving on to another school.
30:15
Maybe going to a trade school and then going to a university
30:18
to learn different skills or vice versa.
30:20
Not saying 1 is better than the other, but each one teaching to
30:25
round you out better. And so I ultimately left the
30:29
Baptist Convention. I have good standing with them,
30:32
but I am currently with a more charismatic denomination.
30:37
I still have friends and speak with and wave to the current
30:41
pastor at my former churches. So there's been some healing and
30:45
I think that's part of the reason why God wanted me to stay
30:47
in the area because God's a God of reconciliation.
30:51
That was one of the things that was really important that I said
30:53
to people who are a part of my congregation now is if you are
30:58
coming with the vision that this church will be like your church
31:02
only not your church, because you have issues with your former
31:05
church, go back to your church, go back and make peace,
31:10
reconcile. And so we have a congregation
31:13
that's called Wellspring Christian Community Outreach.
31:16
It is part of what's called Catch the Fire churches.
31:20
We do a lot of outreach to individuals who are in poverty,
31:25
people who are like ex convicts, people who deal with alcohol and
31:30
drug addiction, things like that.
31:32
We meet in a former mobile home. We meet right in New Germany, so
31:39
we're not in the same exact area, but hopefully a little bit
31:43
more central for those who don't have transportation.
31:46
God can get you through anything.
31:49
God can get you through anything.
31:52
No matter how dark things look, no matter how difficult the
31:56
struck praise God put on praise music, sing, whatever is your
32:01
favorite thing to worship him, because that turns things
32:05
around. Because no matter what, God is
32:08
faithful. God does not fail.
32:11
Doesn't matter what my eyes tell me, doesn't matter what my
32:13
feelings tell me, doesn't matter what the situation might say.
32:17
There's only one thing that's a liar, and it's not God.
32:20
So if something else doesn't line up with what God is saying,
32:23
God's not the liar. So that would be my
32:28
encouragement to people because there will be ups and downs.
32:31
There will be wonderful joy filled times, but there will be
32:34
times that look absolutely devastating.
32:37
Do not lose sight of God, of his presence with you.
32:42
Even if he doesn't feel like he's there, he's there.
32:45
And so just worship. Because if you do that, even
32:49
though it doesn't feel or seem like in that moment, if you
32:53
choose to praise, it'll almost be immediate that you will have
32:57
the reason to praise. Thank you to Jennifer for
33:02
sharing your story with the podcast.
33:04
If you've been enjoying these episodes, please spread the
33:08
word. You can follow us on Facebook
33:10
and Instagram and keep up to date with our latest news and
33:14
upcoming book release at Called to serve.ca.