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Who's Helping You? · Effective Communication

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Speaker 1: And now effective communication with Phil Zeller, CEO Dale Carnegie, Southwest, Michigan.
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Speaker 1: Let's make better use of your time today, my friend
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Speaker 1: Phil Zeller effective communication Here. Wouldn't it be easier in
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Speaker 1: life if you just had that real life easy button
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Speaker 1: people to make your problems and troubles go away and
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Speaker 1: to jump in and take care of things with you
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Speaker 1: for you to help you out with it. Wouldn't that
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Speaker 1: be awesome if people did that just because they said,
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Speaker 1: you know what, you are such an amazing, incredible person.
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Speaker 1: I'd just love to spend time with you. And what
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Speaker 1: can I do to help out? What can I do
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Speaker 1: to make a difference? Now, when those people say that
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Speaker 1: to you, how does it make you feel? How does
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Speaker 1: it make you feel to have those people around you?
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Speaker 1: That's what you're saying, Hey, I don't have enough of
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Speaker 1: those people around me. Where are those people? Phil? Well,
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Speaker 1: if you find yourself in that bucket, like most people do,
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Speaker 1: then you're probably asking yourself, how do I bring more
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Speaker 1: of these relationships into my life? How do I I
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Speaker 1: create more friendships with people? And how do I develop
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Speaker 1: it in a way that when I communicate and I
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Speaker 1: relate to people that they want to relate back. Well,
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Speaker 1: the fundamental truth is, like a lot of things in
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Speaker 1: this life, you can't just go tell people what you want.
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Speaker 1: You can't do that because it doesn't work. It's that
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Speaker 1: old idea of reverse psychology, right, and dal Carnegie and
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Speaker 1: his infinite wisdom shared with us that you can make
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Speaker 1: more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people,
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Speaker 1: then you can in two years by trying to get
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Speaker 1: other people interested in you. Think about that for a moment.
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Speaker 1: Two months becoming interested in others to make friendships or
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Speaker 1: two years trying to convince them to listen to you.
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Speaker 1: Dale Carnegie would ask, what's the better use of your time?
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Speaker 1: What's going to be more efficient to get the outcome
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Speaker 1: you want? Because how many times you've been in a
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Speaker 1: situation where you wish you knew somebody that had the
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Speaker 1: wisdom to get you out of this situation that you're in.
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Speaker 1: You're in a pickle and you need somebody to to
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Speaker 1: hit the easy button to get you out of it.
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Speaker 1: But the key is what do you be done to
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Speaker 1: foster those relationships with other people. I was in a
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Speaker 1: group just last week and I asked this group of
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Speaker 1: people that I was with, as we're getting to know
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Speaker 1: each other and spending some time with each other. I
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Speaker 1: asked them to share something unique about themselves and something
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Speaker 1: they enjoyed doing in their spare time if they had
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Speaker 1: it right, and it was literally I'm going to give
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Speaker 1: you some examples. One guy says, I love to wrench
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Speaker 1: on cars. I love to work on cars. I have
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Speaker 1: an old hot in my garage. I got to get
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Speaker 1: back working on it. Something my dad and I spent
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Speaker 1: time working on them. And I just love wrenching on cars.
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Speaker 1: It allows me to relax. Another person tell me they
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Speaker 1: love fitness. They love to go run, they run marathons,
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Speaker 1: are looking at new ways to become more fit and
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Speaker 1: be healthier and do all that cool stuff. And we
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Speaker 1: learned a lot there from that person. And then another
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Speaker 1: person said they love caring for animals. So what they
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Speaker 1: do at the spare time they take care of animals.
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Speaker 1: How cool is that. Another guy said, you know what,
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Speaker 1: I just really love fishing a high fishing is my thing.
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Speaker 1: It's what I do when I'm not at work. Another
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Speaker 1: person said they loved reading. They read a whole novel
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Speaker 1: over the past weekend. That was pretty cool. They've read
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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff and people are asking what authors
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Speaker 1: do you like, and then another person said, you know,
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Speaker 1: my favorite thing to do is go camping. I camp
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Speaker 1: all seasons all year round. Love to go camping with friends.
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Speaker 1: Sometimes they're just go camping by myself, just to get
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Speaker 1: out there with mother nature. It's a beautiful thing. But
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Speaker 1: you think about these people all around you that you
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Speaker 1: work with and you interact with every day. All of
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Speaker 1: them have hobbies and things that they're interested in doing,
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Speaker 1: things that I like to do beyond just the work.
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Speaker 1: And a lot of times we want to connect with people,
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Speaker 1: but we don't know where to begin because we think
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Speaker 1: we have to say something gets them to like us. No,
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Speaker 1: it's not about getting them to like you because you
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Speaker 1: said something. It's about you taking a genuine, sincere, honest
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Speaker 1: interest in who they are. As Jill Dale Carnegie would say,
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Speaker 1: become genuine interested in the other person and in other people.
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Speaker 1: And when we do this, what we'll find is that
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Speaker 1: people open up and we'll start to learn things and
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Speaker 1: we can really become interested in how do they do that?
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Speaker 1: And then what's really cool about is that you develop
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Speaker 1: that relationship. You start taking notes and remember this stuff
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Speaker 1: and next time in your situation, say hey, I'm going
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Speaker 1: to go camping, or I'm going to go fishing, or
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Speaker 1: I'm going to go I got this this animal that's
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Speaker 1: hurt and I need to do something. You've got somebody
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Speaker 1: to call and say, hey, remember you shared this with me,
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Speaker 1: and they go, yeah, this is what you could do
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Speaker 1: in that situation. How cool is that? Make your life easier,
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Speaker 1: save more time in your life. So go out there
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Speaker 1: and build the relationships with people so that you have
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Speaker 1: more friends. But remember the key is this. The key
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Speaker 1: is to meet them where they're at and become interested
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Speaker 1: in them and ask them, how did you get involved
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Speaker 1: with that? What do you find exciting about it? What's
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Speaker 1: the biggest thing you learned in that area. What's one
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Speaker 1: thing that you would want to teach somebody for they're
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Speaker 1: going to go start to study in that area. What
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Speaker 1: would you recommend? What should they do, what shouldn't they do?
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Speaker 1: There's so many questions you can ask. Become interested in
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Speaker 1: what other people are doing, and as you do that,
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Speaker 1: you quickly build rapport and you build a relationship with people.
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Speaker 1: And this is the key to being effective in communication
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Speaker 1: and truly connecting with people. So if you really want
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Speaker 1: to have more friends in your life and people that
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Speaker 1: can make your life easier. Then become interested in other
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Speaker 1: people and they'll be interested in helping you out that go,
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Speaker 1: make it happen.