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Mistakes That Are Sabotaging Your Love Life! · Black Girls Are Easy Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I can buy my own drink. And she should have
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: went home and played with her own pussy, and she
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: wouldn't be in this situation.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Someone ghosts you. In my mind, that's the ultimate sign
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of disrespect. Why would you ever fix your mouth to say,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: please talk to me or tell me why? Roxanne, Roxanne.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: She took that dick. She needs to take that out
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: and move it right along. I've been running all night. Goddamn. Roxanne, Roxanne.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Welcome to Sparta. I'm GL, and this is the first
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: episode of Weak Bitch Rehab, the only show here on farfrombasic.com
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: dedicated to the reader emails. My co-host Melissa and I
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: will break down these messy ass emails, and hopefully it
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: helps you with your own life. Today's episode is about
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: dating mistakes, mainly dating at work. So strap in and
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: get ready for a little Spartan bootcamp.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Now, you know I get a lot of crazy emails, right?
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: That's fine. You got a crazy person to read them
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: with you.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I want you guys to sit back and listen to
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: this email. Make your own little notes as you go through.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: And afterwards, we're going to go through and break down
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: exactly what this woman did wrong. So, Melissa, take it away.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Okay. Here we go. Hey, GL. I've been a long-time
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: reader and can't believe I still need to reach out
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: to you for advice. I think my situation is a
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: bit different and not covered on your websites. I have
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: been dating a guy who I will call Calvin. After
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: a year of being single, I met Calvin on the job.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: His apartment was moved to my floor after weeks of flirting.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: He finally asked me out. While I did think he
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: was fine as hell, I was afraid of how it
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: would look to my coworkers or boss. It was like
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: he read my mind and texted me later that we
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: should keep our date secret. Told me we met up
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: for drinks near the job. I took an Uber. We
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: drank and split appetizers, talked about the company and his ex.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: He has a son and the child's mother was a cheater.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I could really tell he wanted to make it work,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: but he said he couldn't be with a woman he
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: didn't trust. This stuck out to me as my last
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: two boyfriends were cheaters. He offers to take me home.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I accept. I know you're going to shake your head.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: We continue talking and laughing.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, I am shaking my head.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: On the drive. As we approached my townhome, he asked
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: if he could use the restroom. I agreed. Yes, we
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: ended up having sex. It was probably the best of
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: my life. And in the morning, we did it again.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And he proved it just wasn't the alcohol playing tricks
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: on me. The following weekend, he came over and stayed
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: the night. I didn't cook anything, and he made a
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: sad comment about how a woman my age should always
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: have a home-cooked meal ready for guests. I let it go,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: as I thought he was joking. He's very sarcastic, even
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: when flirting. We had sex again. Then he left early
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: to pick up his son. This was a Saturday into
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: a Sunday. On Monday, he didn't come to work. I
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: texted him to see if he was okay, and he replied,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I'm good. On Tuesday, he came to work but didn't
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: stop by my cubicle to speak. I texted him once
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I got home. No response. This went on until Friday
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: where I went to his apartment just to say hello.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Calvin blew up on me via text that night saying
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: that I violated the rules and that I was being pressed. GL,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I did nothing but say, how are you? Not I
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: miss you or anything related to our relationship. Yesterday, an
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: associate at work who I'm not cool with and who
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: secretly is always out to get me in trouble approached
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: me saying that Calvin was talking about me to his
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: department head, who then ran back and told her. According
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: to this snake in the grass, Calvin said I couldn't cook,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: my house was messy, and that he could tell that
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: I hadn't had a man in years because of how
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: thirsty I acted as a step. I'm currently at work
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: writing this email to you. How do I deal with
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: him in a way that shows him I'm not pressed
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: or thirsty whatsoever? Also, what do you recommend to open
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: up the lines of communication? As I do think we vibe,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I believe something got lost in translation. Maybe that second weekend.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Thanks in advance. Sincerely, a woman's name who we will
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: not mention.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Hey, hot day.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Yes. So.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: That's a pretty messy situation. But you know what? Like
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: I said at the top, a lot of you date
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: people at work and also date people who ghost you
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: after one or two or three sex sessions. So this
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: is a good email to start the show with.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: First of all, those lines of communication are closed, shut down,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: and she should leave them that way. Because I don't
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: think Calvin wants to be bothered. I think he just
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: wanted to end sex with her. And she fell for it.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: So she should let sweeping dogs fly. And let Calvin.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: But they vibed. But they vibed.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: No, she thought they vibed. They had sex. She got dicked.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: That's what she thought vibed. They weren't vibing. I think
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: people get it.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: How much does the lack of sex over a year
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: play into this? As a woman, like, as a man,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I know... I can't imagine going a year without having sex.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Let's just be honest. But like, I know women who've
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: been celibate or just haven't had the opportunity to find
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: a man who have sex within like multiple years. So like,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: how does it play into a woman's mindset not having
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: a sexual experience in a year or over a year
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: a little bit?
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Well, that's definitely a long time. So, I mean, once
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: you meet somebody and it's like, ooh, they give you
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: that good feeling, you have a orgasm or you come
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: real good. In your mind, you're thinking that, you're vibing,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: but it's just sex. Sex really throws shit off. Like
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: they should never have had sex on that first outing.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that it doesn't work. Some people
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: have sex on the first date and they've been married
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: for years and they're happy. But I think you have
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: to look for some more than just, I mean, it
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: was probably just some good dick. It's like when people
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: fall off the wagon with whatever their addiction is and
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: they go back and that hit is going to feel good.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: So yeah, that hit so good.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: This is that good Hennessy dick for like an alcoholic
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: who gets that first drink after a year. Like, oh, fuck,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: what have I been missing? She got that good pipe
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: laid in her. She is like, oh, my God, let
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: me make you some sandwich. Well, I guess she didn't
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: make him a sandwich and that was half the problem.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she ain't make him anything. So I don't know.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I got the pussy. Can you cook a steak up? So.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I don't think she said if on the second weekend
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: she cooked. So maybe that played a part.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: In my mind, like, she didn't go into that many details.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: He came over probably around, like, 8 or 9, you know,
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: the booty call hours.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: He probably like, damn, I ain't eat all day. She
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: gonna have something for me. Assuming a woman your age
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: don't got no food in the house, nothing to hook
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: a man up with. So that's his assumption that a
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: woman should always have, like, food ready at her house.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: That's kind of old school misogynistic.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Well, they were both assuming. She assumed they vibed and...
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: He assumed she was going to have a meal prep.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: That's what she should have said.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds like something that would have come out of
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: my mouth. But the funny thing is he used the,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: can I use the restroom line? Like, sir, it's just
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: like the restaurant and you're driving. Use it when you
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: get home. He shouldn't have fell for that.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: And you know what? Just to hold on that point
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: for a second. There's a lot of tricks we as
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: men play on that post date. It's the old, like
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: say if you both took your car, it's that old,
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: let me sit in the car with you and talk
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: before you leave, Bob. Because unlike the restaurant or wherever
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: you go for that first date, the car is intimate.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: You can touch on it. You can kiss on it.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: You can do whatever. You can pull your dick out.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: So it's always that, oh, let me sit in the
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: car with you. Then the thing about, can I stop
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: up and use the restroom? Or I'm sleepy. Do you
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: mind if I take a quick 20 minute nap? And
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: these are things I think women aren't stupid. They know
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: that like this man's just trying to get more time
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: with me. But if they give in, it tells a
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: man she know what it's hitting for. She know coffee
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: isn't really coffee. The stealer phrase from Luke Cage. The
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: moment she lets you in her apartment, he's thinking, I
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: already got the pussy. It's already done. At least I'm
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: going to leave here with some kind of sexual experience
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: because she would have told me to go home or whatever.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I can't let you up because my house
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: is dirty. And a lot of women I know, I
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: get emails from who I talk to, they don't want
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: to tell a man no if they like him. It's like,
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: even if they say, okay, it's too soon for you
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: to come to my apartment, they feel bad telling a guy,
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I can't let you up.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: And it's so sad that people don't know how to
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: live and know. Know is a wonderful word. I think
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: people should use it more often. You definitely have to
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: set some boundaries. And I'm just going to throw a
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: little piece of story out there.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: That I had from years and years and years and
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: years ago, like back in the day. I was house
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: sitting and somebody came over and I guess he thought
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: we were going to have sex. And no, we were
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: not because, you know, I really didn't know him that well.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Like I didn't want to have sex with him. So
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: eventually I was like, OK, time for you to go.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: And he was in his car. I don't know if
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: he said his car wouldn't start. Whatever the case may
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: have been, I was like, oh, well, I don't know
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: what to tell you. So he gives me this excuse
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: the next day that he's. in his car and he
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: can't believe I didn't let him back in yeah no
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I didn't because I don't know what you expected but
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: it wasn't going to happen and I wasn't going to
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: put myself in that situation you know what I'm saying
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: that you expected something just because you were staying there
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: sleeping over so People just need to know how to
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: use no and be okay with it.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Live in your no.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: How does that make someone feel? They're going to be disappointed.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: They're going to be a little bit angry. But you
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: know what? They will get the fuck over it.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Live in your no. Yeah, because now that she didn't
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: say no, she writing in because she said because you
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: didn't shut her down. But no is a complete answer.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: It doesn't need an explanation. No, period. Period. Like, I
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: don't owe you anything. I don't have to explain anything
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: to you. Because if I say yes, then I have
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: to deal with the consequences of my yes.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Exactly. You can't say yes to someone that's an X factor.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Like you said, you didn't know that guy in your
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: situation enough to have sex with him. So, like, it's
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: on you if you let the wolf into the fucking
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: hen house. I'm vibing with you a little bit, but
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know you like that. You can't be so
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: blinded by lust and, like, potential of a person where
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: you say, well, why not? Or maybe it's like, no,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: you don't fucking know him. When you get to a
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: certain age, you got to use the wisdom of your
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: youth to say, you know what? I've been fooled once
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: or twice, or I've known people that's been fooled once
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: or twice. I'm going to err on the side of
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: caution and say, no, not today.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't think she knew him as well. Cause
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: she said after weeks of flirting, it wasn't phone conversation. Well,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: maybe they did have phone conversation, but I still don't
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: think it was enough. that they should have gone home
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: and had sex. She should have took that Uber the
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: same way she got there. She should have took it
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: back home and they could have continued conversation on the phone.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Work flirting is the most easiest thing to do. I
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: remember when I was in college, I worked at Macy's
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: during the summer when I would come back to Baltimore.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: And it was this girl. She was like, she had
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: a really nice body. She wasn't the cutest, but her
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: body was like crazy. You know, like when you work
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: at Macy's, you gotta wear those clothes. So it's like
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: seeing her in her work clothes made her that much sexier.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, this girl is bad. Like she wasn't
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: really that bad, but at work, I had those work
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: goggles made her super bad. I used to float around
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: the floors on all the departments and she used to
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: like work in like housewares or some shit like that.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: So anyway, we would always flirt with each other. Like
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: she would ask me to get something from a stock
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: room and then she would like rub my butt or
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: something weird. I'm like, what's good? And like, I would
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: try to like go to the stock room and do
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: kind of like mutual flirting. But I never asked for
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: another because I'm like, at the end of the day,
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I don't really like her like that. And I don't
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: think she really likes me like that. We're just both
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: at work and we're flirting with each other because that's,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: we're bored.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: So that was our relationship forever. And like, I never
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: pushed it, but there were other times where I had
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: jobs where like, in Philadelphia, I worked at the supermarket
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: and I had sex with at least four of the
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: damn cashiers. But it was like, it was work. So
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: it was like, you can, all right, you know, flirt
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: with her. That girl's not at work, flirt with her.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: It was a revolving door cashiers because, It was so
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: easy to go over there every other day and say, oh,
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: you looking good in that apron, girl. Or, damn, did
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: you get your nails done? Oh, that's dirt. I'm sorry.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I still look sexy. It's like, you can see all
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: kinds of shit. And therefore, it's like, it's laziness. So
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: two weeks of flirting at work means nothing. Like, you
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: don't really know that, man. You should have been, all right,
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: I like you. Exchange numbers. Talk on the phone. Go
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: out on a date. Get to know him through a
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: series of dates before you decide just to knock on
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: his dick.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: And I think it's hard, too, working with somebody. and
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: dating them because there's no way in the world I
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: want to have sex with somebody. And if it's horrible,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: I don't want to look at them every day for
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: the rest of the time we're at this company. I
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: don't want to be around them. I don't want to
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: deal with them. I don't want to see their face.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: They might be crazy. They might be a stalker. I mean,
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: not saying that doesn't happen or can't happen if you
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: didn't work together, but I don't want to look at
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: you every day from nine to five.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: No, you're preaching to the choir. And here's the thing.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: My big question for you now is like going forward,
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: what's her next move in terms of like inner office interaction?
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: If it was me, honestly, I would pretend as though
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: he doesn't exist. I have funerals for people in my
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: mind and I would give a eulogy.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: What'd you say? You have funerals for people in your mind?
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I have funerals for people in my mind. I mean,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: people can ask me about a person. And with a
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: straight face, I can say, who is that? I don't
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: know who that is. I don't know them. And that's
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: what you should do. That's the only way I can
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: think of.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Have a friend or a person in your mind, and
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: when you see them in the lunchroom, just get your little,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: get your shell out the refrigerator and keep it moving.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: They would be Casper. I would not see them. Oh, well,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: you could see Casper, but they would definitely be a
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: ghost to me. They would be a ghost. I would
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: not see them. I would not speak. I will walk
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: past them. I can even make eye contact, but I
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: would not see. You would start to question if you're alive. Like,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: can y'all see me? Because she act like I'm invisible.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: You know what's going to be weird? When he starts
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: to date another girl in the office or when he
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: hears of him dating or sees him flirting with another
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: girl in the office, that's going to lead to her
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: texting him again or cornering him some way to say, hey,
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: can we just talk about what happened? She's going to
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: be so desperate because I think her reasons for emailing
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: me this is to basically say, how do I get
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: him to talk to me again so I can state
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: my case? That's all this is. I want to state
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: my case about why you should give me another chance.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: She's basically low-key begging for this man to stay in
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: her life.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: No, you let that girl. Unfortunately, she's going to have
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: to learn from her mistakes as well. There's something my
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: father taught me, and I think about it all the time. Never, ever,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: ever beg anybody. For anything. Nothing. Don't beg anybody for anything.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I don't care what it is. Perhaps you can ask.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: And I mean, you reached out to him and he
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: didn't respond or reply. So he don't give a damn.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: So if he decides to go move on with another
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: female at the office, hey, surah, surah, and let it
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: be what it's going to be. And you need to
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: move on too and find somebody that's actually going to
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: want you for more than just sex a couple times.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: No, I know how the story ends because this is
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: an older email and believe me, this woman has sent
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: me multiple emails and she's learning her lesson. I won't
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: say that she's all the way learning her lesson, but
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: like she's crawling out of this with a little help
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: from me, but she's stronger than what she was when
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: she wrote this. But the reason I brought this out
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: of the packet for this show is because I think
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: it showcases a few mistakes that I want to run
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: down real quick. Mistake one, And we just glanced over,
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: but this is really like in-depth shit right here. Mistake one,
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: don't shit where you eat. If you're dating after the
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: age of 23 to 25, it's hard to meet people
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: because you're not in school or you're not going out
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: as much socially for like those organic connections. Work is
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: the most laziest way to connect because the average adult
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: is spending like what, eight to 12 hours around work.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: That's like five, even six days of the week. It's
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: like you said earlier, Melissa, you can meet somebody nice
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: at work, You can get married to somebody you meet
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: at work. Those odds are very fucking low. Most times,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: like Casper just showed us, it's a convenient fuck for
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: men or even women who just want to get some
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: out of dick. So it's like, don't shit where you eat,
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: ladies and gentlemen. It's like, I know those work goggles
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: are strong. I've been there. But you got to have
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: the discipline and the wisdom to know, like, the best
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: thing that can happen is you make a connection. Maybe
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: you get married, whatever. The worst thing that happened is
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: like several fucking sheets. First off, it can end like
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: this where you get ghosted and it's awkward. You don't
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: even want to go to work and make money because
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: you just feel like shit and you're depressed and full
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: of anxiety. The second thing is your boss or coworkers
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: find out about it. And I'm sure this goes against
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: some fucking human resources stuff. A woman once emailed me
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: that she tried to shoot a shot at a guy
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: at work. Because she thought, you know, they were vibing.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Everybody thinks they're vibing. So they're not vibing. The guy
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: kind of like laughed her off. And so she was like, well,
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: you know, I tried to like double down. And I
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: said something like really sexually and nasty to him just
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: to like try to get him to take me seriously.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: And he went and reported her to HR.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Women don't think they're going to get reported.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. I didn't think she was going to get reported.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: I was shocked. I'm like, wait, men report women to HR?
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: What the fuck? Yeah, they do.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: They do.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: So they had to warn her. And I don't think
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: she lost her job. I think she said she was
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: thinking about moving to another branch. But they had to
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: talk to her and everything. And she's not allowed to
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: even talk to the guy at work. And she's like,
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: it made her feel like less than a woman because
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: no one did a man not reciprocate. He told him, hey,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: she's harassing me. I'm like, what the fuck?
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: I'm hoping that the case is that he had, like,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: a girlfriend or a wife or a husband or a
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: boyfriend or something.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: No, he was actually single because she said, you know,
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: women sometimes at work has, like, cliques and spies. They're like, oh, girl,
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: he did this.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, girl.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Like, so one of her, like, old girlfriends told him, like, oh, girl,
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: he's single.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: I think he mentioned her, like, where she asked, like, oh,
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: where's such and such when they had, like, those little
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: post-work drinks or whatever the fuck they're them. And so
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: she thought, like, oh, he brought me up doing a
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: post-work drink to my friends or my coworkers. That means
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: he likes me. Where it could be, like, just making conversation, like, oh,
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: where's the other girl you're with?
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Right, right.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: That's one of the things on the list where it's, like,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: not only just getting ghosted, but something like that where
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: it becomes awkward at work. Your boss could even fire
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: you if you're doing something weird. If you're trying to
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: fuck with your boss, that's a whole other can of worms.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a whole new level.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: I think the second mistake to learn from this thing
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: is the date aspect. No matter how you meet a man,
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: where you meet a man, I don't care if it's
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: at work, school, fucking Tinder, if your homegirl hook you
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: up with him. Mistake number two was she didn't vet
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: him on this date. She took everything this man said
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: about his past relationship at face value. You said that
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: when you're reading it, the ex being a cheater, his
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: baby mama... And she can relate to that because she's
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: been cheated on. At that moment, you know, damn well,
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: she didn't ask any follow up questions about, oh, what
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: led her to cheat or how many times did she cheat? Oh,
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: I understand.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: I've been cheated on, too.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: People are horrible, right? Love me. Love me. It's like
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: she sat there and just took what he said at
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: face value and didn't say, all right, break down to
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: me what exactly happened. Was this the first time you've
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: been cheated on? What was going on in the relationship
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: when she cheated? Was this baby planned? Like all the
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: shit that comes up when a man says, I have
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: an ex who I have a kid with who cheated
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: on me. Those are all kinds of red flags, not
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: something to say, oh, he's a victim. Let me hug
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: him here. Put your face in my titties and let
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: me love you, baby. Like that's what she did. Oh,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: let me Uber me home so I can give you
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: some pussy because your ex cheated on you. That's what it.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Became because she.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: You deserve it. It's some bullshit. Make sure, ladies and fellas,
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: make sure you always vet these people because everyone has
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: a life story that makes them seem great or makes
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: them seem like a victim. And you'll be counting your
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: blessings or saying, oh, my God, I'm at a real one.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: The only reason they're on the block is because someone
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: just broke their heart. And how lucky am I? No,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: you're not lucky because I'm sure if you talk to
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: their ex, they'll have a totally different version of that
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: story that makes this person not so amazing.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Right. No longer a trophy.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: The third mistake I saw in this one was I
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: think we already covered this, but like ladies, especially ladies,
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: because men are whores. Ladies, why are y'all still fucking
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: on the first date? I get it. It's your prerogative.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: If you want to bust it open, no one can
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: put a rule on your body. If you're looking for
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: something more than a physical release or like, I just
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: want to ride his face or see what that dick
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: look like. If you want something real, postpone sex. It's
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: not that hard, especially for women. Women can hold out
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: harder than anybody. It's not that hard to say, you
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: know what? I would want to have sex with this person,
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: but where I'm at in life right now, I want
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: a deeper connection and I don't just want to give
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: it away or act prematurely because my body's telling me
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: one thing. Listen to your mind over your fucking vagina.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: I think it's important to say if that's what they
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: want because I don't want nobody thinking we get fucking
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: because if you want to have sex, honey, have sex.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: Exactly. I'm all about like, if you want to leave
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: the date early and go fuck, go fuck. If you
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: just want to... Yeah, it's like as an adult, you
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: can have casual sex because at the end of the day,
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. Just be safe about it. Yeah, just
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: be safe about it. Don't confuse the want for sex
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: with the want for love. Those wires get connected so much.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: If you want to be loved, find someone who's going
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: to get to know you and understand why you should
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: be loved. If you just want somebody to fucking pound
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: you and choke you and say, come on my dick.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: And you think like, oh my God, he must really
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: love me. That's not love. That's just sex. Understand the difference.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: It may feel like the same thing in the moment,
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: but it will never equate because that's just a passing moment.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: What did Calvin really do or Casper really do to
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: earn her pussy that night?
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Nothing. It doesn't sound like he did anything.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, those appetizers probably were bomb. He probably picked out
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: the most bomb appetizers on the menu.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: No, I feel like you need to do something for
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: me that you need to make me feel a certain way.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: I could buy my own fucking appetizers. Come on. It's not.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I can buy my own drink and she should have
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: went home and played with her own pussy and she
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: wouldn't be in this situation.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: There you have it. There you have it. Boom. She
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: should have went home and played with her own pussy
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: on game. The last mistake I saw was the end
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: of her email. Mistake four was chasing closure after being ghosted.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Someone ghost you. In my mind, that's the ultimate sign
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: of disrespect, to not even tell you why they don't
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: want to talk to you again. Why would you ever
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: fix your mouth to say, please talk to me or
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: tell me why? That's like, Melissa, it's like somebody walks
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: up to you and just slaps you in the face.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: You're not going to say, hey, come back. Why did
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: you just slap me?
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Why didn't you do that? Yeah, no.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: You got ghosted. Take the L. Why can't people take
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: the L, Melissa?
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know. She took that dick. She needs to
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: take that L. And moving right along.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Boom. Goes the dynamite. Ladies and fellas, if someone's not
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: answering your texts, if someone's not answering your calls, if
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: you see somebody in person and they act like you
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: don't exist.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Never bother them again.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Yes. It's okay to say, you know what? It's okay
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: that we didn't work out. It's okay that I'm not
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: what they're looking for. There's no shame in your game
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: when you just take the L and just move on.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Take the L like you take the dick.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. Absolutely. I would never. I could just only assume, like,
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: if you're not answering my calls or texting, you must
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: be dead. So I'm going to act accordingly. Like, you
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: have to. There's no other reason you have to be dead.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: You die.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: You know what? People always say like it's easier said
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: than done because when you're in the grip of love
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: or whatever they call it these days, lust, thirst, it's
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: hard to be cool when your emotions are like going
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: through the roof because especially with like, we live in
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: a text culture, right? Everyone's, they text, text, text, text, text.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: No one like is really like talking to explain anything.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: So like the fuck would a guy for like, say these,
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: say it's two weeks, like her situation. And suddenly it's,
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: He doesn't text you back anymore when you say, hey,
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: good morning. Nothing. Oh, I was thinking about doing this
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: on Friday. You want to go? Nothing. Hey, is anything cool?
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: Nothing.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: They run to their social media and say, oh, they're
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: online posting pictures or posting stories or liking other people's shit.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Or they're on Facebook laughing at somebody's fucking meme. Yet
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: they can't text you back. So they're not dead. So
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: what's the problem?
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: Well, you have to kill them in your mind. You
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: just have to go and press block. But let me just,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: something you just said, it was nothing that I read,
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: because first of all, he took her, they met up
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: for drinks near the job, and they drank and split appetizers. Like,
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: give me my own shit. Did they go to a
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: nice restaurant? Like, I'm trying to understand where this vibe
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: came from. Like, she must, are her standards low, maybe?
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: He was fine as hell. Sexy as hell is what
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: she described him as. You needed some dick.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: You should have took that for what you wanted. You
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: should have never let your emotions get involved in it.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: And emotions did because I think she was looking for
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: somebody to love her. After a year of not having
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: anyone and being cheated on, I think her self-esteem was
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: so low from being cheated on and so low from
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: probably not going out and dating or whatever. And here's
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: the thing. A lot of these women who write me,
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: I would hope all of them who write me have
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: read my books. And I talk about loving yourself. The
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: first foundation of anything is I don't care about a
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: man or a woman or none of the other shit.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: Fall in love with yourself and understand your value. And
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: when you forget that major step or you don't do
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: the work in that one year since you last had
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: a person to love you, You're going to fail the
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: first time you go on a date. And that's why
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: I think this email is so important. Do the fucking
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: foundational work of self-love and no one can game you.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: No one can fucking give you false vibes because you know, like, look,
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: at the end of the day, I'm going to take
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: my ball and go home. He can call me tomorrow
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: or I'll call him the next day to thank him
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: for those appetizers. And that's that. If he doesn't want
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: to take me out again because he thinks I'm a
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: tease or he doesn't want to talk to me at
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: work because he thinks I used him just to get
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: some food, so be it. But it's better to leave
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: it that way than to fucking get exploited because you
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: don't love yourself.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Yes, whip your hair hell high in your dignity. Definitely.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: That is, oh, that plays such a big part because
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: when you just going into stuff, even though I understand
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: it was a year, And she was looking for something,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: but I'm hoping that after that situation, she took the
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: time out to find herself and to understand that it's
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: not about another person. Like you are nothing. If you
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: can't love yourself and be yourself, you don't have to
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: be with another person. Like you have to be a
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: hundred percent on your own. Nobody else should be your half.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I know we call out significant others and, but you
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: have to be whole within yourself before you can even
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: try to be a part of something. somebody else's shit.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: And people think it's the opposite way. Like, oh, once
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: I find that person, I'll be whole. I blame TV
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: and music lyrics. Like, I find another person and now
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I'm whole. Bullshit. You got to come in that shit whole.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: It's like when I met my wife. He was young,
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: but she was whole. She met me. I was young.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: I was whole. That doesn't mean you're not flawed. You
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: don't have problems. You can't grow together. But you got
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: to fucking come with self-love to the table and self-respect.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: The reason you can say I have funerals in my
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: mind for people who act this way and why she
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: can't is because you were raised with love and self-respect
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: and you have a foundation like knowing what you want
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: and what you deserve. This woman and a lot of
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: women out there and men out there don't even know
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: what love looks like. to look in the mirror and say,
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: you know what? You're good enough. You can get that. Instead,
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: anxiety creeps in because it's like, look at your phone.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Why doesn't he text me? Why doesn't he text me?
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: Why doesn't he text me? Look at the internet. Why
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: is he liking that girl's picture? Why is he liking
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: that girl? What am I doing? Why am I not right?
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Was my pussy not good? Maybe I should have sucked
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: his dick. Oh, maybe I shouldn't have fucked him. Oh,
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: maybe I should have said this. It's all this anxiety swirling.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: I have been there, but you have to learn from
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: your mistakes. And I hope she doesn't make the same
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: mistake over again because it's Nothing like burning your hand
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: on the stove several times and you know it's hot.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Like even babies learn, oh, hot. Yes, it's hot. So
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I hope she learned from this.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: She put her hand on the stove and was like, ooh, vibe. Ooh,
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: he loves me. Give me more. No.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: No, honey. I hope she learned and I hope she
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: took the time to love herself a little bit more.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: And I hope she can learn to hold those generals
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: in her head and be able to look through him,
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: not even at him. She needs to look through him.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: To put a bow on this, this woman actually is
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: in a relationship right now, a much healthier, I guess
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: this wasn't even a relationship. It wasn't even a situation ship.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: She just got fucked. But now she actually found a guy.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: And the kicker was, They went on vacation. Yeah, they
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: went on vacation. They went somewhere where she had like
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: a picture. And this guy who dicked her down and
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: ghosted her actually came by her cubicle and made a comment. Oh,
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: that looks cute. Kept it moving. She thought nothing of it.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: Because again, like it's over. She's moved on. He actually
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: texted her for the first time since this incident and said, hey,
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: it'd be good to see you outside of work again.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, the text was able to come through to her phone.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: She hadn't blocked them. She never blocked them.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: I think she always held hope that this would happen,
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: but after Casper, a.k.a. Calvin, saw her picture on the
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: desk of her new boo, he had the balls to
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: text her that night, I want to see you outside
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: of work again. And you know what she did? She
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: blocked them that time. Okay, good.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: He didn't even deserve a response to anything.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Exactly, so Good. Applause to you, woman. You definitely sparking up.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: And that's what I like to see. Anytime a woman
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: sends me an email, I want to see growth. Sometimes
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: it happens because they listen. Other times it doesn't happen
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: because like, you know, you can lead a horse to water,
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: but you can't make them drink. A lot of times
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: they're like, I hear what he's saying, but I want
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: to do my own thing still. I know you're trying
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: to tell me this, but I really think I can
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: make this guy love me. And As we just went over,
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: you can't make anybody fucking love you who doesn't want you.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: You can't make anybody continue to want to be in
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: your life if they don't think you're worthy of anything.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: And that's not about what you don't bring to the table.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: It's about what they're looking for, which oftentimes won't measure up.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: So never get in your fucking feelings about, oh, they
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: don't want me. Oh, I'm not good enough. It's not
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: about your looks. It's not about your pussy. It's not
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: about the conversation you had on a date. It's about...
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: All kinds of things you can never imagine is swirling
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: in that person's head. Everyone goes into a situation assuming this,
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: but expecting something else. And sometimes if it doesn't mesh up,
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: they'll take their ball and go home. Okay, take the L,
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: move on. It's over. She took the L. It took
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: a while to take the L. She had to write
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: this email, get cursed out. Because believe me, I cursed
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: her the fuck out when I first got this. She
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: took the L. She moved on. She did. She actually
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: did some self-work. It took her like almost a year
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: to get into a real relationship, but she's there now.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: And she finally was able to block the guy. So
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: kudos to her.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: I'm happy for her.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: This is the podcast where we're going to read these emails,
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: give you our point of view on them, go through
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: the mistakes that were made or the lessons that should
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: have been learned. And hopefully it'll help you go through
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: your situations, help your friends go through their situations. So Melissa,
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: anything else you want to close it with?
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: I'm excited and I can't wait to hear the next email.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: We've got a real messy one for next week. So
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: be here.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: Bye. Thanks for listening.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Gio Lambert explains it all is brought to you by
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: solving single.com and make sure to subscribe.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: You definitely don't want to miss the next episode.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: Bye.