Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / What’s Missing or Broken? Facing the Gap | #2 of Clarity Calls for Your Soul

Transcript

What’s Missing or Broken? Facing the Gap | #2 of Clarity Calls for Your Soul · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: The other morning, I found myself standing in the kitchen loading the dishwasher and reheating my coffee for the third time.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: And somewhere between that pile of dishes and the mounting to-do list in my mind, I caught myself whispering under my breath, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: But it wasn't.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you're not either.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, looking back now, I see it really wasn't about the mess or that morning.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was just about the quiet ache underneath, the one that kept asking it to be noticed.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: So before I invite you to go any further, I'd love for you to take a slow breath with me.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: In through your nose and out through your mouth.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because humility begins the moment you stop pretending everything's okay and start naming what really is.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: There once was a season when I was trying so hard to hold everything together: family, ministry, work, friendships, and I didn't realize that I had built walls instead of boundaries.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was being wise.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I told myself, I'm just too tired.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or they wouldn't understand.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth was, I was scared.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was scared of disappointment.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was scared of being seen as weak.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was worried that if I slowed down long enough, the ache underneath would surface, I would start crying, and I would never stop.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I just kept controlling, planning.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: I kept busy, and over time my heart got hard.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: The wake-up moment came one ordinary day, like the rest of them.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was just out of the blue when one of my kids said, Mom, I don't really hear you laugh anymore.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: It stopped my heart, and it stopped me cold.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: I realized in that moment that control had begun to disguise itself as care.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Busyness had masqueraded as purpose, and I truly was missing what mattered most.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to ask you, take a moment to reflect on this question.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Are you over-managing, overexplaining, or overcompensating?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Is there fear beneath it?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you're not doing all of them all of the time.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: But is there a space or sphere in your life that you find yourself navigating through that way?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want to remind you that humility doesn't shame you for protecting yourself.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: It just invites you to look at what the protection is costing you.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Conviction, clarity, a moment to consider how you want to move forward.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the truth.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Every single one of us plays the villain sometimes.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I do, you do, and it's not the movie kind, but it's the self-protective kind.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can become quickly the one who avoids, blames, deflects, or even just shuts down.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the good news.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus doesn't condemn your defenses.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: He redeems them.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: He invites you to name what's broken so that way he can offer to begin the repair work needed.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it might be helpful if I named the nine ways you might hide when life feels broken, or in general, the nine ways we all hide when life feels broken.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: This time I'm going to start with the Enneagram 9, because you do disappear into comfort and are quick to call it peace.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: But the imitation of love calls you to share your voice, and your voice is needed.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: To my Enneagram 8, you might armor up because you equate softness with weakness.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: But the imitation of strength says, tenderness is your truest power.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: For my Enneagram 7 friend, you are likely to reframe or run to the next thing.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: But true joy whispers, stay here.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: I can meet you in the hard.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: For my Enneagram 6 friend, you have often braced for the worst and you're scanning for danger all the time.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: But faith wants to invite you to know that you are safe enough to unclench your fist.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: To my Enneagram 5 friend, you retreat to analyze your pain instead of feel it.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: But God is whispering to you, wisdom isn't data, it's presence.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: For the Enneagram 4, you might dramaticize or retreat into melancholy, but healing will begin and continue when you remember I'm truly more than my emotions.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Enneagram three, you are really good at polishing the surface to distract from the cracks.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: But truth says, authenticity is more beautiful than image.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Enneagram two, you double down on serving so no one sees your hurt and pain.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: But love invites you to omit, I'm empty and I'm unsure, but that's okay.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: For my Enneagram one friend, you are quick to tighten your grip.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Believing perfection might save you.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: But Grace is whispering to you, You can rest.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm already making it right.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: I've got it in my control.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Did one of those phrases leap out to you?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Did something catch in your chest?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: That might be where God is inviting you to notice, and where he wants to do his kind work.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes humility sounds like I'm sorry.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: It sometimes sounds like I need help.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's just a deep exhale that says, I can't carry this alone.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: So as we finish, I want to invite you to breathe with me and breathe together as you consider what might be your next step.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: So let's breathe.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Inhale, I receive your mercy.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Exhale, I release my defenses.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do that one more time.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Inhale, I receive your mercy.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Exhale, I release my defenses.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: If this reflection and conversation stirred something honest in you, then I think you might be ready to trade control for clarity or isolation for community.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Your next step might be a clarity call with me, or to join me for the wholehearted identity journey small group beginning next week.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's six weeks of story work, rhythms, and safe connection designed to help you live from your true wholehearted identity.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Regardless of when you have found this conversation, check out the show notes to get clear on your next step.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: As you step into the rest of your day, may your honesty lead to healing.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: May your humility become the doorway to freedom.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And may you feel the courage to lay down every defense that keeps love out.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Breathe deep, my friend.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: You are seen, you are safe, and you are invited to become wholehearted.