Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Minisode: The Wedding’s Off with Chelsea + Catherine

Transcript

Minisode: The Wedding’s Off with Chelsea + Catherine · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job, where we
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: do couples counseling on all sorts of variations of friends, lovers, families.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Welcome to my office.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, Hi Chelsea. I've got an update from one
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: of our callers.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Let's hear it all.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: Right, Well, this is from Libby. She had written in
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: a couple of months ago. It was actually from our
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Hannah Einbidender episode and she was in a threttle and
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: the guy had been in the bathroom. No, no, that
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: I would love to hear an update from her. We
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: will get an update from her soon. But this gal
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: was in a throat ble and it was like a
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: husband and wife that she had come into their relationship.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: They had some kids, they all lived together, and the
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: husband was acting like really sketchy and like crabby and
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: like didn't want to have sex anymore with either of them.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: So Libby says, wait, wait, wait wait. They were in
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: a threuttle. Yes, and Libby was like, the what do
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: they call it?
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: The unicorn? Yeah, okay, coming into the relationship. Yeah, and
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: he had basically said, why don't have sex with you
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: or anybody else?
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: So yeah, even his wife, even his wife.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Hi Catherine. After our last conversation, I took Chelsea's
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: advice and tried to be a voice of reason between
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: my two partners, my girlfriend and our roommate of a boyfriend,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: and tried to discuss how we could move forward as
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: a threatle Per usual, he did not have anything to say.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: He was content with living the way things were, and
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: that seemed to be about it. Between Chelsea's advice and
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: my intuition, I knew there was more. I spent a
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: few days being observant. In my initial email, I had
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: mentioned that he'd been sleeping on the couch and had
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: begun sleeping with his phone underneath his pillow one night,
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: after admittedly drinking a bit the liquid courage ended up
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: being much needed lol. I saw that he quote forgot
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: to hide his phone. I normally don't condone going through
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: your partner's phone, but given the situation, I felt as
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: though I should hurt my own feelings and see what
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: he's been up to. Turns out he had spent the
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: last two months cheating on the two of us with
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: a freshly nineteen year old server who worked at the
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: restaurant he was managing.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: At the time.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the arguments he created in order to take off
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: and leave the late nights when he was caught up
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: at work quote unquote were really just excuses to meet
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: up and spend time with his work girlfriend. I called
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: my girlfriend, who was at work at the time, and
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: showed her the things I had discovered. She sped home immediately,
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: and we threw his stuff into his car and kicked
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: him out right there in the middle of the night.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Looking back on things, all the signs and red flags
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: were extremely obvious, and I hate that we spent so
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: much time begging an unworthy person to stay with us.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: For my girlfriend, it was hard to say goodbye to
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: a ten year relationship, and that loss is still being mourned.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: But our life has gotten a million times better. The
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: energy in our household has shifted, and things all feel
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: lighter and happier. As for him, he's continued a downward spiral.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: He was demoted from his salary management position for making
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: inappropriate remarks toward a sixteen year old girl who worked
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: at his job and is back to being a line cook.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: I love that he wasn't fired, he was just demoted.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Like great job.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: He lives with his brother and generally has a miserable life.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Karma really did her thing. Thank you for taking the
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: time to listen to my situation and for the much
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: needed advice. I feel as though that was the last
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: bit of validation slash confirmation I needed to face the
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: facts and work toward a final solution, which I guess
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: was as simple as looking through his phone. As her
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: full as it was, it made my girlfriend a nice
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: stronger as individuals and as a couple, and it also
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: opened the door for some pretty great hookups every once
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: in a while with men who actually appreciate our presence.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Much love, Libby, But.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I thought she said she got rid of the girlfriend too.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, so she and the girlfriend stayed together, good.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Great, perfect, and got rid of the guy and he's
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: the father of her children.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Yeahy uh huh, Well that's too bad. But yeah, oh awesome,
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: awesome if I.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Remember quickly not married, so like easy piece of taut
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: exactly it.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Thrupple up, have a great time. Yeah, all these other
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: men that are going to be much more worthwhile.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: All right, So Chrissy is calling in and she had
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: called in with her best friend name on an episode
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: from August of last year called we might all be
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: dead by then if anyone wants to check it out,
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: She says, we spoke with you and Chelsea a few
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: months ago regarding my best friend's horrible boyfriend, and there
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: has been a development since then. He is now her
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: horrible fiance. This news was delivered to me by means
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: of a text saying, I hope you're on board for
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: a destination wedding. Normally I would be on board for
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: a destination anything, but what do I do here. I've
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: made it very clear that I don't think the boyfriend
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: fiance is a good person. I hate my friend's willingness
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: to take him back after he continues to disrespect her.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: It's honestly been a little while since we spoke. In
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: addition to picking horrible men to Mary, she also voted
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: for the horrible man in the White House. As each
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: new policy is unveiled, I feel like she personally pushed
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: the button to initiate these changes. I just don't know
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: how I could attend her wedding and pretend it's a
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: joyous event, knowing their history, being surrounded by her Trump
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: loving friends. I hate to throw away our friendship, but
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure I can look past these decisions, or
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: if I even should. I know I'm far from the
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: only one with a relationship affected by politics, but I
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: guess I'm wondering if I'll regret letting a decade of
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: friendship go because of my friend's horrible taste in men. Hi, Chrissy, Hi,
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: how are you? Hi?
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Chray Nice to see you again.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: You too.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: We just got caught up on what's going on with
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: your friend.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: Have they set a date yet?
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: As far as I know, they have not. We have
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: been a little more distant lately and we haven't talked
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: too too often, but I don't think that there is
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: a set date currently.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: How did she tell you they got married or they
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: got engaged?
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: She well, he had a ring for years that he
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: was holding over her head and not giving to her. Yes,
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: I recall, and when he gave her the ring, she
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: was very excited to show it to me. She acted
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: like it was the dream proposal, and it was just
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: kind of everything else was pushed under the rug, everything
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: leading up to that point.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Well, the good news is there most likely won't be
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: a wedding anyway, since you know his pattern of events
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: is like he's I'd be one of the chances that
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: he's been lording this over her head, lording it over
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: and then he's going to go through with a wedding
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: and they don't have a date. So yeah, but the
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: bigger question is okay, So there's that issue, and then
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: there's all the political stuff. I'm not opposed to if
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: you are up for it, to releasing this friendship, Like,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: it's very hard to see somebody.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Go down that road with a partner.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Additionally, the political aspect of things is like a double whammy.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: And you know, like, what are the foundations of your friendship,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: what are the things that hold you guys together?
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Are those still active? Is that the past?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Like sometimes we hold on too friendships because of the
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: history of the friendship, but it's not really serving you anymore,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: and in fact, it's kind of disservicing you.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, I can definitely see that. I think because
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: we have such a long history where we were both
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: single moms, we kind of played a role in helping
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: to raise each other's children. I think it was harder
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: to let it go because she almost felt like family
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: to me. But I also know that there are times
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: that you have to let family go.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Too, Yeah, yeah, And like, do you feel that you
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: get anything out of this relationship in its current status?
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: So do I miss having that friend that I shared
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: everything with? She was my person that you know, we
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: there were no boundaries, We talked about everything, and I
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: don't have that person in my life currently. So I
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: think I miss having a best friend more than I
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: miss her specifically, right.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I think that's your answer, you know what I mean.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: And I think you should make room for a new
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: best friend because I think it's nice to have those memories,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: and she served her purpose for a period of time
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: in your life, and now through everything that you've seen,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: it's like it's not adding to your life. I would
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: argue that it's taking from you because of both subject matters,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: and it doesn't have to be confrontational. It could just
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: be like, listen, I think we've really grown a part.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: It's really hard for me to watch you go and
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: marry this man. I understand that you're going to. I
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: understand you love him, and I want to respect that.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: And the best way for me to respect that is to.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Not be there. I don't want to be there.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I don't you know, like if you feel compelled, like
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: does it require a conversation or can you just fade away?
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: I had sort of tried to fade away, and then
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: I felt like she kind of kept putting the effort
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: out there, sending a text, calling, and then I finally
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: kind of had the conversation with her, saying, I'm sorry
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: that I have been distant lately, but with the way
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: that everything in the country is going, I didn't know
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: that I could have a civil conversation with you without
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: us And we tried. We tried to, you know, kind
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: of text through that, and she kind of tried to
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: make some of her points, and I just got enraged.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: A little bit.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: And I think we are just in such different places
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: that we're not gonna see eyed eye on a lot
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: of things right now.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Right I think it would probably be helpful for you
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: to just take a long break from the relationship, you know,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: and circle back around if and when that time feels right, Like,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: you don't have any obligation to continue a friendship where
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: you're so at odds with each other on multiple fronts,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: like it's not just one thing, it's multiple things.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Now, And I also think you're right, like you also
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: aren't obligated to like put a period on the end
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: of the sentence, so to speak, like it is okay,
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: things do fizzle, and like maybe there's some time in
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: the future that she comes back into your life, but
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: like I think it's okay to just let it lie.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let it lie, And if she needs to reason
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: explain it, you can always be honest with her and
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: just say I'm sorry, Like I want you to do
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: whatever you want to do, but that I just it's
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: painful for me to watch this, Like it's painful for
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: me to see this. It's painful for me to accept
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: your political views.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: I accept them, I believe them.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: But what I need to do is kind of remove
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: myself from this situation right now because things are too ugly.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: And too scary.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: And also, why would you want to go to a
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: wedding with a person when she's getting married to with
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: a person like that, and I guarantee you this wedding
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: will not happen.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you're probably right.
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I actually keep having dreams that the wedding is
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: like the next day and I'm like just finding out
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: about it, and I'm really struggling with myself for not
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: having been there for her and not having helped her
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: get ready, and I think that kind of made me question.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, but listen, you know, friendships are there sometimes for
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: like five years. Sometimes they're there for a year, Sometimes
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: they're there for twenty years, and sometimes like sometimes somebody
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: is in your life for a period of time for
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: a reason. And then sometimes it's actually it's a reflection
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: of like your own belief system, Like when someone shows you, Okay,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: this is who I am now, like you have a choice,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: You have no obligation to continue this friendship.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Both raised each other's children together.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: That was beautiful, Like that's the best memory you're gonna have, probably,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: so hold on to that, and you know, and the
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: make room for some other people to come into your
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: life that you are like minded with, that you whose
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: partners you do respect, whose relationships you admire, Like surround
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: yourself with the people that you that you admire, you know,
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: that relationships you would want to mirror for your own
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: personal life and relation and people that you can relate to.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with that.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: So do not wrap yourself up at guilt, wrap yourself
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: up in like standards. This is beneath the standard that
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I would accept for myself. Therefore, it's beneath the standard
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: that I would accept for you, and I'm just gonna
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: have to bow out for a while out of love
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: and respect for myself.
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, oh that's great advice, thank you.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know, you can grieve that relationship or
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: you can, but don't beat yourself up.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: You've been an.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Incredible friend and there's no reason that you now have
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: to be like held hostage to this friendship that you're
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: no longer like, you know, aligned with just her marrying
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: this guy or accepting his you know, she was just
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: not paying attention to anything, even strangers who have no
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: investment in her relationship at.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: All either telling her that it's bullshit.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: She's not seeing that, So you know, if she doesn't
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: hear or see that, then there's nothing you're going to
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: be able to do to point that out to her.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: Right, Chrissy, will you follow up with us in a
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: few months and let us know if anything moved forward
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: with the wedding or But I think, yeah, you can
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: let yourself off the hook, like hopefully that'll stop you
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: from having these panic dreams of like you know now
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: what you're gonna do when and if that happens, which
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: is you know, politely decline.
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I will definitely follow up.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, awesome, Thanks for calling, Brassie.
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: Thank you. Have a good day, guys.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Bye bye.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Do do do do do do drum roll Catherine, please,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler abroad. Abroad is my European So I'm coming
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: to obviously find a husband abroad. I need to get
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: the health out of this fucking country. And it's not
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: as easy as you think. So I'm coming to Rekuvic.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to the UK. I'm
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, and Lisbon.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: I'm coming abroad is abroad that sounds like fun. I'm
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: going to go see you abroad.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: I know I want to go see me abroad and
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: there all be, there all be upcoming Vegas States, April eighteenth,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: July fifth, August thirtieth, November one and twenty ninth at
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
• 13:58
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• 14:01
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• 14:05
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• 14:08
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