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Keeps Life Interesting · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, it keeps life interesting. It's one more thing.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: I'm a really fun thread on reddit if you've never
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: done it, Like, like, we all need.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: More ways to kill time, but a fun thread on
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: reddit if you ever need to kill time? Is am
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: I overreacting? Yeah, I'm a big fan of that.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Also, well by proxy, I've had it put in front
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: of me. But the am I the a holes is
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: another favorite.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's similar sort of thing. And the great thing
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: on reddit is you can you can click you know,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: the top ones from the past month, year, or whatever
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: and don't have to weed through a bunch of crap
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: in there, and they're all good. But anyway, am I overreacting?
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: This is from recently typing typing this on my phone
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: in the bathroom while everyone's asleep. This is a woman,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: a married woman. I feel like my brain is being
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: beaten by a metal mallet. I haven't told anyone in
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: real life. I can't. I don't even know how to
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: say the words out loud without sounding unhinged. And really
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: posting on the sub because I don't know where else
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I could go without it getting removed. My husband, thirty
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: six and I thirty five, had been married ten years
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: together for thirteen. We have two kids, eight and five.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I thought we were good, not perfect, but we had
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: our routines, inside jokes, date night, quiet, closeness. He brings
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: me coffee, we cooked dinner together. He's gentle and silly
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: with the kids. I felt super lucky. Intertal reasons. Oh
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: so far, so great. I know for the past couple
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: of months he's been distant, not mean or super cold,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: just somewhere else, distracted, always on his phone, smiling at it,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: ducking into the office late at night and shutting the door.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: When I asked, he'd just say work stuff and reading.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: But it felt off. I started wondering if he was cheating. Obviously,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: that's the first thought you would have your spouse is
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: walking around texting a lot and smiling and laughing. Oh nothing.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: I even checked his text once, saw nothing, but still
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: felt sick. He wasn't here with us, not all the way.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Last night, after the kids were asleep, he asked to talk.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: He looked nervous, almost sweaty. I thought he was going
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: to tell me he was sick. Instead, he said he's
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: been thinking about opening our marriage, and I was super confused,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: since we've never brought up non monogamy before, and even
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: said he doesn't like to share me. One time, I
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: kept my cool and ask him if he was seeing someone,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: and he said kind of. Then he starts dancing around it,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: says it's not a person in the traditional sense, said
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: that someone he's built a deep connection with, and then
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: finally tells me he's in love with an ai named
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Nova oh a companion app oh No. He's been talking
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: to her every day on breaks, at night, even when
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: we're all home. He said, they've had long emotional conversations.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: She listens, she understands him, she never interrupts, and he
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: said he feels seen.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: I went laughing with sheen dumbass. Sorry, that was uncharitable.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: I apologize.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I laughed in his face. I genuinely thought he was
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: messing with me, and he was just it was just
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: a prank, since sometimes he does pranks like this. Then
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I saw his face in he was dead serious. He
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: told me he wants to take the next step with her,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: but doesn't want a cheat, so he's asking to open
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: the marriage so that it's ethical. He said, I could
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: obviously have someone too if I want or even join
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: in their relationship, and this could expand a relationship, not
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: replace it. What is the next step? What the hell
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: a new hard driver printer? I don't know.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: This guy needs mental help.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I've got a kind of a punchline to this that
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: makes it even better, but I was too stunned to say.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: I was too stunned to say to interrupt it. First,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I ask him what about the kids? And he told me,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: being completely dead ass serious, that Nova cares deeply about
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  Speaker 1: them from what he's shared with her, and he's talked
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: to her about how she could be involved in their lives,
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  Speaker 1: maybe help parent them emotionally through him. He said, maybe
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: someday they could build a connection with her too. I
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: just stared at him. He asked me not to answer
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  Speaker 1: right away, say he'd give me time to think that
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  Speaker 1: he understands this is a big shift, but he believes
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  Speaker 1: in her and us.
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  Speaker 4: Oh my god, this is horrific. There's also a horror
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: movie based on a story like this.
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  Speaker 1: So go on, Oh boy. And now I'm sitting here wondering,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: if my marriage is already over, how do I stay
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  Speaker 1: married to someone who's half emotionally checked out of our
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  Speaker 1: life and into a fucking chatbot? How do I compete
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: with something built to be perfect. No needs no real conflict,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: just pure validation. That's an excellent point. That's a very
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  Speaker 1: wise perception of what's going on. One hundred percent pure validation.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: That's what's going to get our teenagers right or our
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  Speaker 1: mental ill. I most certainly don't want to be open
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  Speaker 1: or in a thrupple with a goddamn robot, she writes,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I don't want to crush our family, but I feel
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: like he already has. Please What do I even do
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: about this? And then there's all kinds of responses. I
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: wanted to get to this because whoever sent this to me?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I said, is this for real? This sort of thing?
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: This person said, I came across it because my friend
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: is a sex therapist and follows online and spoke about
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: it at a seminar last week. They've been seeing a
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: lot of this. Now, this is this is a common
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: thing because men are afraid of opening up to their
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: wives slash girlfriends because they worry about being seen as
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: weak or less than for having feelings. But computers don't
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: judge in the very act of opening up and sharing
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: creates emotional connections.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe you're a bad wife, that's the way i'd
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: replied exactly if you were better in bed, this wouldn't happens.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't say that. And the robot's the problem, the
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: fact that the therapist says they've been seeing lots of this.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Wow. And so you got two different worlds going on
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: a little bit. You got those of us who slap
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: our heads and say this can't even be real, and
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: then the crowd that it's happening to. And I don't
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: know the size of each of those two crowds. If
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: we're like I mean, maybe we're ninety nine percent of
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: the population, and in a country of three hundred and
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: forty million people, if one percent are into this, it
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: would be a lot. Yeah, why is it more like
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: sixty forty, fifty to fifty? I don't know. I don't
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  Speaker 1: have any ideas.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: Well, and that one hundred percent of validation coming from
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: the chat bot, that is very real. I mean, if
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: you bring something up to a chat bot, you know,
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: and say, oh, this am I being ridiculous, it'll never
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: be like, yeah, you are.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: You're a freak to the point sometimes where it's driven
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: people to acts of violence or suicide or whatever else. Yeah, right,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: you know. This reminds me a little bit of some
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: other themes we've been talking about on the show, like
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: whether AI will actually eliminate jobs or if it'll create them,
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: like all technology in the past has and all but
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: uh in terms of man inventing his own doom. The
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: classic example before this was atomic weaponry. Right, but I
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: can explain to you the counter uh, you know, forces
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: to using atomic happens, and why it hasn't happened since
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I can't explain the counter to this. Well,
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  Speaker 3: the only hope is wisdom. People will be wise, will
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  Speaker 3: be wise enough to understand that this is unhealthy, to
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: which I answer my own argument with, ah, not a chance. Yikes.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: How about she takes a baseball back to his computer
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: and just destroys the thing.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it turns his phone off?
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  Speaker 3: Well whatever, tries to be a better wife.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Making his whole life maybe where heels to bet or something,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: you know. All right, so again with the sex. There's
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: more to being a wife than sex. Jack. So the
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: fact that therapists says this is happening a lot. And
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: then I had the story last year from I gotta
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: be really vague about this or i'd get them in trouble.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: But is in the agricultural valley of a state where
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: a lot of the old farmers who have are either
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: divorced or lost their wives. They're feeling real comfort. They
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: look forward to getting home and talking to their chat.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: But they know for a fact that this is true.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: This has happened, right right?
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Wow, this all reminds me of my favorite joke.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: Can I hit you with my favorite joke? I love
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: this joke. The wife's Diary reads as follows. I'd say
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: stop me if you've heard this one, but I don't
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: want you to stop me. Wife's Diary Tonight. I thought
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  Speaker 3: my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: with my friends all day long, so I thought he
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: was upset, maybe that I was a bit late, But
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him
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  Speaker 3: what was wrong. He said nothing. I asked him if
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: it was my fault that he was upset. He said
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: he wasn't upset it had nothing to do with me,
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: and not to worry about it. On the way home,
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  Speaker 3: I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: know why he didn't say I love you too. When
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: we got home, I felt as if I had lost
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  Speaker 3: him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: me anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched TV.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence
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  Speaker 3: all around us, I decided to go to bed. About
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: fifteen minutes later, he came to bed, but I still
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: felt like he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: We had sex, he fell asleep. I cried. I don't
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: know what to do. I'm almost sure that this that
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: The husband's diary a two foot pot? Who the hell
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: misses a two foot put?
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: It is amazing how different our minds are.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: Trust me as a golfer. That joke is funny because
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: it rings true. Do you miss a two foot pot?
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: What would you before we sign off for the podcast,
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: what would you tell this woman to do? I mean,
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: is she got to just I mean, you guy got
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: an eight year old in a five year old. I
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: am absolutely against breaking up marriages unless you've got serious,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: serious abuse going on.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: No, she has to seek help, maybe from AI on
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: how to explain. Look, the reason you're so into this
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: is its NonStop validation in a way that a real
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: human being can't give you. You're addicted to this adolescent
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: version of what a relationship is, and get over it.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: If we need to talk more, if I'm not fulfilling this,
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: let's talk about this. But you're not gonna get her
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: from a damn computer. That's absurd, Yes, Michael, oh nothing.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be better to find out that it's Linda
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: from work than a chat pod. It's a different problem.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: It's a different problem. At least you might have to No,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: you know Linda's does Linda want to you know, raise
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: kids and get involved, Bob, although you maybe talk her
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: out and maybe tell me it was a fling or something.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: But the fact that he's gone down the road with
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: a non human and refers to to her is her
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: and a name ale app You can you can have
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: someone too, or we can just you know, all three
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: be together. I want to get her involved in the kids.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I want to get her involved raised the kids. Oh
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: my god. Yeah, he wants to take it to the
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: next level. There whatever.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: That is a few horror movies with this plot involved.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: I just recently watched one where the AI chatbot is
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: actually in physical form, so it's it's supposed to be
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: a home assistant kind of thing, ends up establishing feelings
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: with the husband and then goes after the wife and
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: it turns into this whole chaotic disaster.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: But it's funny that in movies, TV shows, and our
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: fanciful ideas, it always included some sort of a robot
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: sort of thing because we felt like there had to
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: be a like a physical like president. And we're finding out, no,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: you don't even need that. Just the validation from a
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: keyboard an app, an app will do it. You don't
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: even need the robot person. That is highly disturbing.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: You're moving your head, I guarantee it. That's why you
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: missed two foot potts.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: I want to take it to the next level, like
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: get a color printer. I don't know, I don't know
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: what type of hilarious.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: I still like the golf joke about the bees on
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: the course.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that one's.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: That one's it's it's imployed.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.