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What to do When Staff or Colleagues Undermine You – 5 Proactive Steps · Enhance.training

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What to do when staff or colleagues undermine you?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: It is horrible when you realize that one of your colleagues is actively trying to undermine you and make you look bad in front of others.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: It can knock your confidence and trust in others and it can be very demotivating.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Worst case, your job could be under threat.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And to make this bad situation worse, the undermining actions are often subtle and hard to really pinpoint.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if you find yourself in this situation, there is actually a lot you can proactively do to stop the undermining behaviour.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I will cover what undermining signs to look out for and five actions you can proactively take to stop behaviour as quickly as possible.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Being firstly, collect evidence, second, find allies, third, confront the underminer, fourth, speak to your manager, fifth, escalate to HR andor senior management.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the podcast, I give you tips on how to market your work and results within the business to counteract the undermining behaviour.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Jess Coles, and I've had a 25-year management career in Innocent Drinks, Fosters, EY, Peer Consulting, and many other less well-known companies.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I've personally been on the receiving end of undermining behaviour, and I've had to learn how to deal with it and stop it while maintaining my professionalism and my work ethic.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing the steps to take will make this a lot easier for you.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you like this podcast, please share it with colleagues and friends and take a look at the courses and resources available at Enhanced Thought Training to help you be even more successful in your professional and management career.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, firstly, before you even work out what to do when staff or co-workers undermine you, you need to be able to spot the signs of undermining behaviour, ideally as early as possible.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: The longer you leave taking action, the more time a colleague has to damage other people's perception of you, and the more work you might need to do to repair any damage after stopping the undermining behaviour.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: The undermining behaviour can start for any number of reasons.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the common reasons include, you know, firstly, they're feeling threatened by you or how well their colleagues think of you.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: For instance, if you're doing a very good job and making them look average in a similar job.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Second, you could have personally or socially offended them in some way.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Third, they may just not like you on a personal level.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: There can be many other reasons too.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Common signs that a person may be trying to undermine you include not sharing information with you, you know, such as meeting invites to make you look poor or unprofessional, telling you incorrect information or implying incorrect courses of action.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thirdly, withholding information or work that you need to hit deadlines, i.e.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: repeatedly forgetting to send you info.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or it could be gossiping about you or spreading false or malicious rumours about you, your work and capability.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: It could be taking credit for your work or the work that your team has done, or it could be trying to influence or take charge of your team members, i.e.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: asking your team members to report to them.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or it could be trying to weaken your relationship with your manager or more senior staff around you.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Keep an eye out for behaviour that repeatedly puts you in a bad light.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone makes mistakes, you know, so one-offs or mistakes that impact several people are likely to be just that mistakes.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is repeated undermining behaviour, which is not a coincidence or a mistake, that you need to keep an eye out for.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are unfortunate to be on the receiving end of undermining behaviour, let's go through five steps of what to do when staff or colleagues undermine you.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: The first step in how to deal with undermining behaviour at work is to start documenting examples of the undermining behaviour.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate that this may seem a little bit like overkill when you first become aware of undermining behaviour.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because undermining behaviour is usually subtle, it is usually actioned verbally by the other person or through omission, it can be hard to prove what is actually happening.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, you must start capturing at least these three things.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, what's happened.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, i.e.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Jane told me that Dave said XYZ to her about you.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Or Jim forgot to invite me to ABC meeting.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, when it happened, you know, the time and date.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: And thirdly, the impact on you, on your work, or on your team.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: The impact will be what nearly every manager or company will care about.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: The better managers will care about your feelings, motivation, and the emotional impact of the behaviour on you.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: The quicker you start capturing information about the occurrences of undermining behaviour, then the quicker you can take steps to stop the behaviour.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Evidence always trumps opinion.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So in dealing with undermining behaviour, you can't rely on opinion only.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is just not enough.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: You need to collect evidence.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Keep collecting evidence until the undermining behaviour has definitely stopped.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Keep your records or a copy of your records on personally owned storage devices rather than say only on the company laptop.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: The second stage in what to do when staff or colleagues undermine you is to find allies.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: You need to take this step carefully and subtly.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: You must avoid trying to undermine the person who is undermining you, or avoid anything that might be interpreted as undermining.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: At the same time, if two or more of you are receiving similar undermining behaviour from the same person, this is a lot more powerful than one person alone receiving undermining behaviour.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Two or more people's opinion and evidence can quickly build a compelling case that the behaviour is happening and the impact is tangible to the team and the company.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: So take time to carefully inquire to colleagues about how they are treated by the person in question.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Ask open questions such as, I'm also working with Jill, how do you find working with her?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Rather than leading questions such as, I'm having problems working with Jack, how did you find working with him?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Weave these open questions in the natural flow of the typical conversation where possible.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Be careful on your tone of voice and the body language when asking these types of questions.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Don't hint or make obvious the problems that you're experiencing.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: After all, the person you're speaking to may be an ally of the person undermining you.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: The third step in what to do when staff or colleagues undermine you is to confront the colleague undermining you.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: When you have gathered evidence and when you have found any allies, then you are in a good position to confront the undermining colleague.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: I strongly recommend that you don't confront the person until you have some evidence.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Having clear evidence will make the confrontation much easier for you and much harder for the other person, and you are much more likely to be able to stop the undermining behaviour if the other person can see that you mean business.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your opinion alone will rarely be enough.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Work out what you're going to say and practice what you're going to say out loud.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Keep your emotions in check when speaking.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get angry or aggressive.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Ask the person in question into a meeting room or engineer a meeting in a quiet spot.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Be direct and be honest.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Third, ask what is driving the undermining behaviour.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Be confident and be professional.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Wait for their response and listen to what they say.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you've done something to offend them, apologize and see if you can reach a mutual agreement in terms of both yours and their behaviour or actions going forward.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: If they're undermining you for any other reason, ask them to stop undermining you.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Judge whether you should state if the behaviour is not stopped, you'll need to escalate to management and potentially HR.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that you have specific examples and potentially allies will usually be enough in itself to give the person undermining you good cause for concern and incentivize them to stop the undermining behaviour.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: You should be prepared for the other person to up the ante or to become more subtle with their actions.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: This can also happen.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Before escalating the matter, you should wait to see if the person stops their undermining behaviour.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth step in what to do when staff or colleagues undermine you is to speak to your manager.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: The evidence you have collected and the allies you have found will make speaking to your manager easier and a lot more productive.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing your manager is likely to ask is, have you spoken directly to the person about the undermining behavior?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: So don't speak to your manager until you have taken step three.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Arrange a private meeting or bring up the issue in your one-to-one meeting with your manager.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Tips for the meeting include, you know, firstly prepare what you're going to say and practice it.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Keep the facts rather than opinion as much as possible.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Second, bring a copy of the evidence to the undermining behaviour and its impact on you, the team and the business to the meeting.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Third, say you've spoken to the individual and yet the undermining behaviour has not stopped and share evidence of this if you have it.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, ask your manager's advice on how to deal with the situation.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, manage your own emotions carefully during the meeting.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Be professional, thank your manager for their advice and time regardless of the outcome.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Most managers will act on this conversation because it is in their best interest to do so.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Again, the fact that you have evidence and have thought about the impact on the business will usually be plenty to make the manager take note.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Few managers want this type of situation escalated further to HR or further up the management chain, as this will reflect badly on them if they could have done something but didn't.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: The fifth step in what to do when staff or colleagues undermine you is to escalate to HR andor senior management.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you need to take this step, then the situation is getting pretty serious, and you and your manager have not been able to resolve it.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I would expect that confronting the individual and then speaking to your manager should solve 90% plus of cases where staff or colleagues undermine you.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you escalate to senior management or to HR, be prepared for questions about your behaviour, the evidence that you've collected, and so on.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is why it is so important to be professional throughout the previous steps and avoid any actions that might indicate that you're trying to undermine the other person.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout experiencing any undermining behaviour, it remains very important to maintain your motivation, your standards of work and the results that you deliver.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I have some tips to help you.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: So when faced with what to do when staff or colleagues undermine you, a key action is to market yourself within the business.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: As mentioned, maintain or improve the standards of what you deliver for the business.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: The more valuable the work and the output you produce, the easier it is to counter when staff or colleagues undermine you at work.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Just doing your work alone is not enough.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have to make people in the wider business aware of the great work that you're doing.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: This can be a scary prospect for many, yet remains very important, particularly when faced with a person trying to undermine you.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: So some tips to do this well include firstly highlighting the impact of work or the projects that you do for the business and the team etc.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: around you, as well as delivering the work.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Send emails explaining the impact or add this into the conversation with managers and stakeholders.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Second, create measurable metrics to show the value being added, you know, revenue increase, cost saved, time saved, efficiency gained, etc.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: and circulate these to stakeholders.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Third, ask supporters to shout about what you're doing to managers and stakeholders.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, build a stronger relationship with your manager.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, help them achieve their goals, keep them aware of the impact you have on the business, meet them more regularly, etc.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, send out a team newsletter internally to the business, take opportunities to present project outputs and similar profile raising exercises.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And sixth, ask managers and stakeholders to coffee or to lunch to get to know them better on a professional and personal level.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: There is a lot you can do to raise your profile and shout about the positive aspects of what you deliver at work.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Put a little bit of extra effort in to market yourself internally.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean this is great practice anyway, and really important if another person is trying to undermine you at work.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: So now you know what to do when staff or colleagues undermine you.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: You have five proactive steps that you can take to stop undermining behaviour in its tracks at work.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: And six plus tips to counteract undermining behaviour at work.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you choose to do, don't be passive and don't just put up with the undermining behaviour.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Take action to stop staff and colleagues undermining you.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Do take a look at the courses and resources available at enhanced.training to help you be even more successful in your professional and management career.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks very much for listening, and I look forward to speaking to you again soon.