Latest / Very Fine Friends / William Shakespeare's Homeo + Juliet

Transcript

William Shakespeare's Homeo + Juliet · Very Fine Friends

0:00
okay what's your impression i have an impression so far it's the only one i can do okay i'm
0:18
I want to have you guess who it is.
0:20
Okay.
0:25
I am poos in boots.
0:33
Shrek.
0:36
I think it's really good.
0:39
That's not bad.
0:39
I am poos in boots.
0:42
i i it was like i was there in the movie yeah i was on call standby case antonio
0:55
stopped wanting to act thank god he didn't though why just because i don't want antonio
1:01
to ever stop acting oh yeah i know me too isn't it weird that he's not with katherine zeta jones
1:06
oh you mean because they were in the zoro movie together yeah yeah do you think all actors that
1:14
are in movies together are married i think they should be okay because when like as a consumer
1:20
as someone who like watches the movie when you are really into it and you buy it it's like i
1:25
love them together i want this to be real and you hate that it's not real
1:29
yeah not in like a fanatic lunatic kind of way not in like a way where i have i have figurines
1:38
of katherine zeta jones and antonio banderas and i i make them kiss at night and they have them
1:43
i get they get to kiss at night and uh and uh they discuss grocery lists and um oh no did
1:51
antonio pay the water bill uh yeah no no i don't do any of that no you mean either
1:57
i wonder if they have um figurines of catherine zeta jones you think they sell those i think
2:09
we should start we should start i hope they do she's hot yeah she's hot yeah she's welsh
2:18
what she's welsh wow she got me i thought she was i did know that actually she was
2:24
from the land of Zoro.
2:27
She was Zoroastrian?
2:30
Zoroastrian?
2:30
Yeah.
2:31
I was going to say Zoranese,
2:32
but I like yours better.
2:33
Wait, Zoroastrian,
2:35
that's a religion?
2:38
Is that...
2:38
Like an ancient religion.
2:39
Yeah, that's what you are then.
2:41
You're a Zoroastrian
2:43
because you love Zoro so much?
2:46
Zoraphile.
2:47
Wait, no!
2:49
No, we already know.
2:50
We don't want to tag file
2:51
under the end of the word.
2:53
Yeah.
2:54
uh you're uh yeah you just you love zorro yeah and i love puss in boots
3:02
welcome to friends like us the podcast where friends talk about stuff francis well i know
3:11
how well you are because you could do a spot on puss in boots impression going to hollywood
3:17
yep that's all i'm gonna say to anyone look out hollywood here he comes
3:22
oh this just in they do sell figurines oh we looked it up okay thank you our producer joe
3:31
has just shown us a i don't know kind of a disturbing figurine of katherine zeta jones
3:37
i it does not look without a good likeness yeah but it does exist so that was the question that's
3:43
what we that answered our question thank you big plastics big plastics thank you
3:49
um all right uh oh did you have you had something you wanted to tell me about oh when okay if you're
3:59
gonna say it like that now it's gonna sound like i i need therapy when i tell you this story
4:03
this is a safe space francis okay you mean it yeah oh wait before you tell the story yeah
4:09
uh every week as regular listeners know we get secret words from our producers
4:15
to say secretly and the other person has to try and thank you uh the other person i'm just glad
4:23
i remembered to to talk about it um the other person has to see if they can guess at the end
4:28
of the episode what the secret word is and we are getting points that will accumulate right up into
4:33
the moment of our death and then we find out who wins um but anyway we have our secret words
4:39
and now here's joe with the secret words jenna's secret word is entity francis's secret word is
4:48
earlobe back to the podcast back to your story francis yes your therapeutic story yeah so this
4:56
is i'm listening i'm taking notes okay well i had um as i was thinking about stuff to say earlier
5:01
a memory popped into my head and i realize now this is abuse oh but it happened to me
5:08
so it's okay then so we can talk about it oh okay yeah and um so i don't know if you know this but i
5:14
was a fat child um after i was normal and then i hit a point where i was fat and then like i just
5:20
kept doing that it's my thing um but so there came a point where like people would make comments to my
5:30
dad not like like that were horrible like that i would hear him like but like they'd be like
5:34
you know dennis it's this is it's up to you buddy like he's what are you gonna do so i would every
5:41
once in a be like okay we're gonna we're gonna do something about this but i was like complaining
5:49
because i was like embarrassed to like work out in front of other people so like i got like a
5:52
doctor's note to not do sports from like a friend of the family so on the one hand no physical
5:59
Collectivity.
6:00
Yeah.
6:02
It gets to a point where I was like, we got to do something.
6:04
We got to do something.
6:05
And this is what he came up with.
6:08
He bought a vinyl sweatsuit for me.
6:13
And I was a child.
6:15
Like, maybe 13?
6:16
Yeah.
6:17
12, 13.
6:18
He gives me a vinyl sweatsuit to put on.
6:20
And we used to live in front of a big park.
6:22
It was like an acre all the way around.
6:24
And he goes, you're going to jog in the sweatsuit.
6:27
and I'm going to
6:29
stay here and watch you.
6:32
So he had binoculars
6:33
and he sent me to go jogging
6:36
in a sweatsuit around the park
6:38
and would watch me
6:40
to make sure I didn't stop.
6:42
So I was like, yeah.
6:43
I'm like, I don't run.
6:45
So I'm just like, God.
6:46
But I just wondered,
6:47
imagine you're at the park
6:49
and this
6:51
plastic child
6:54
runs by you.
6:57
And then you see in the distance a man with binoculars watching.
7:06
I would call the cops, I think.
7:08
No one ever called the cops.
7:09
And I wouldn't know why.
7:11
I would just be like, something's happening here that should not be happening.
7:17
Sweatsuits work.
7:18
Not to make you lose weight, but to make you sweat.
7:21
They're aptly named.
7:22
Yeah.
7:23
They got to run the lawsuit on that.
7:24
we didn't say anything about losing weight
7:27
no they didn't
7:29
yeah anyway now you know
7:31
alright
7:32
well
7:35
good
7:36
glad I don't have to say anything therapeutic
7:39
about that
7:40
I think I found the sweatsuit
7:43
like years ago
7:45
it was just like a moment of like
7:46
like no
7:48
no
7:49
yeah
7:52
so is vinyl traumatic for you now?
7:56
yeah I just
7:56
I only listen to cassettes
7:58
yeah smart
7:59
yeah
8:00
you know who really could have helped?
8:04
Puss
8:05
Puss in what?
8:09
Puss in what?
8:09
Boots
8:10
what kind of boots?
8:12
it was the material
8:13
is that ever established?
8:15
oh no you're going for vinyl
8:16
no they're leather
8:18
I'm leaving
8:18
no Puss is a classy cat
8:22
They're leather boots.
8:23
They're leather.
8:24
Probably calfskin.
8:26
But for him, it's a cow because he's small and a calf is big enough to look like a cow.
8:33
I think the calf is age-related, not size-related.
8:37
It's still a calf because it's a baby.
8:38
No.
8:40
It's size-related.
8:42
Oh, I was wrong.
8:43
Relative from the person looking at it.
8:45
Yep.
8:46
Oh, my bad.
8:46
Yep.
8:47
My brain is fried from all the sweating.
8:51
That's okay.
8:52
I understand.
8:53
I forgive you.
8:54
Thank you.
8:55
Okay.
8:56
Well, on that note, let's move on to our first segment, which is, as always, the invention
9:05
of the week.
9:08
Inventions.
9:12
Hi.
9:13
Francis, what do you got for me?
9:14
Okay.
9:14
This is really cool.
9:16
All right.
9:16
Well, all of them have been pretty cool.
9:18
No, this is like, you ever feel lonely?
9:22
probably not really i have in my life i know what you're talking about okay yeah you got a lot going
9:28
on yeah i would say that was a dumb question i asked you because you don't seem lonely at all
9:31
thank you i think no it's okay yeah well other people do okay
9:38
and uh sometimes it's hard to make friends you know because you go out you try talking to people
9:45
they seem okay then they say like you could be two weeks in then they make one comment you're like
9:50
Yeah, never mind.
9:52
I don't want to see you anymore.
9:53
Wouldn't you like to avoid that?
9:55
Yes.
9:56
Okay, well then you're going to love this.
10:00
I'm all prepped to love it now.
10:01
Prepped to love.
10:03
The invention is, it's an account you make online.
10:09
and you
10:11
you fill out a profile
10:17
and you answer a lot of questions.
10:21
I love questions. Don't you?
10:23
Sure. Yeah, like doing
10:24
surveys about yourself. Yeah. Love that.
10:28
That's why I miss MySpace, by the way.
10:30
Anyway,
10:31
you
10:33
I miss Tom.
10:36
Yeah.
10:36
Yeah.
10:37
He's, yeah.
10:37
He's just looking over his shoulder all the time.
10:40
Yeah.
10:40
He's, he's alive, I bet.
10:43
I'm, I hope so.
10:44
Tom, you're a listener.
10:46
Uh, drop a line in the comments.
10:48
Let us know what you're up to.
10:49
Yeah.
10:50
Tomsdontdie.com.
10:51
I'm pretty sure I saw that.
10:52
Yeah.
10:53
Yeah.
10:55
Anyway.
10:55
Um, so, and other people are doing this too.
10:58
Okay.
10:59
Here's where it gets cool.
11:00
Okay.
11:01
you wear a necklace
11:04
or a bracelet
11:05
or a ring
11:06
depending on what you like
11:07
okay
11:07
when you're out in the world
11:10
and you come around someone
11:12
who is a
11:13
a match to you
11:15
based on your interest
11:16
or your personality
11:17
or whatever
11:17
and you're near them
11:18
the devices
11:19
vibrate
11:22
or make noise
11:23
and you know you're around someone
11:24
who could be a great friend
11:25
so
11:29
let me say
11:30
Just make sure that so it's not it's not like like Tinder or whatever.
11:37
I don't know how those apps really work where it's like proximity location based.
11:41
And you you do actually kind of put those things in there.
11:46
And you do maybe have like interests and stuff in there.
11:50
And then it matches you that way.
11:51
You want to be like in real life.
11:54
Yeah, this is this device just stores like like you have something that says like, I love the movie.
12:00
death becomes or uh and then somebody else that has that movie is one of their loves like
12:06
it'll be like bing bing well it's more than that okay it's not just one thing when you're near
12:13
someone who is like they just a match and if it a friend it could be like one thing and if it like maybe a romantic match it could like glow red But the point is it not just one movie
12:25
It's, like, Jenna and Francis both love 90s action comedies starring Geena Davis.
12:33
And we're walking around near each other, and our devices are going to be like,
12:36
and we're going to know, like, we're around.
12:41
um
12:43
they need to go find the person
12:45
yes
12:45
I guess
12:47
well at first I was thinking
12:49
you
12:50
that would be annoying
12:51
if you're just like
12:52
uh
12:53
like
12:53
like I'm just
12:55
trying to go to the grocery store
12:56
I'm not trying to make a friend
12:57
right now
12:57
but then I guess you wouldn't have
12:59
you don't wear it
12:59
you don't wear it
13:00
or you can turn it off
13:01
okay
13:02
because it's probably fashionable
13:03
and you might like to have it on
13:05
so it's a good looking device anyway
13:07
it's handsome yeah
13:07
how many questions
13:09
have you already thought of the questions
13:10
because the types of questions are really important too.
13:14
Yeah, it's a combination of everything.
13:16
It's like your music interests, your movie interests,
13:19
your philosophies, your personal beliefs, everything.
13:23
And you mentioned Tinder, I believe.
13:27
Yeah.
13:29
So that to me is like very surface level.
13:33
Like you might answer a couple of questions about yourself,
13:35
but it's more of like just icebreaker stuff.
13:38
So those questions wouldn't be enough.
13:40
okay yeah this is like this account knows you okay does it can you like constantly be refining
13:48
your likes and like adding more and more to it yeah yeah okay new questions just dropped
13:53
okay get online i do think this would be pretty popular yeah i do i do think this would be quite
14:02
popular i don't know that how the tech would work how it would kind of like how close he would have
14:08
to be to somebody for it to work also yeah what would you do if like you went someplace and it
14:15
just like went off like crazy like like like the people that go to comic-con they all seem they
14:21
don't need to know yeah i mean that would be like things those things would be going nuts right well
14:26
it's like for big events yeah also if you're going to comic-con that would be too much because it's
14:34
like how do i know who am i but then maybe the minute the devices get if you're like hey and
14:40
you're pointing yourself and they're like hey they're pointing themselves and you get close
14:43
maybe when the device is super close it could be like so we have to know like for sure there's a
14:47
way to confirm it's like yeah it's you yeah okay do you foresee predators use i guess predators
14:54
use everything um we'll have a no we'll we'll put a checkbox on our website are you a predator yeah
15:00
you can't come in it's like the i like are you a robot thing yeah and if somebody's a predators
15:07
to their credit predators really answer those questions honestly honest honest group it's yeah
15:15
yeah maybe we could be like are you a predator and then in parentheses like just be honest
15:20
and then if they check it we send them a device that doesn't work
15:23
and they there's just never a match for them oh yeah predators if you're listening and we know you
15:29
are uh just be cool yeah don't use this to be a predator okay yeah stop scaring people at night
15:38
in their homes or during the day don't also stop getting in the back of people's cars and then when
15:45
they drive away they don't know you're in the back seat and then you you jump out and surprise
15:49
them stop doing that thank you for renewing my knee-jerk reaction to always look okay yeah yeah
15:57
but it's good to still be safe
15:59
but I just warned all the predators so you
16:01
shouldn't have to worry about that anymore.
16:03
That's true. And also who's going to predate me?
16:06
Who's predating you?
16:07
Yeah. I would predate you.
16:08
I would predate you.
16:10
We'll do it at night because I don't really get scared in the daytime.
16:13
I'm going to change that. I'm going to make you scared
16:15
all the time. You promise? Yeah.
16:21
Sugar crush!
16:27
so i don't understand to agree i also think this invention will be widely popular but i don't
16:35
understand how it's related to the problem that you introduced at the beginning where you're like
16:41
so your point is that when you do match with someone you can like see all the stuff about
16:45
their profile so that would prevent you from being in the situation of like you're friends
16:50
with them for like a couple weeks and then they say something and you're like i don't want to be
16:54
friends with you anymore no because our questions are so in depth that all the people that you would
16:59
because you could put on there is this a deal breaker yes so you're never gonna you're never
17:03
gonna bling with someone who's like a deal breaker for you on anything that you really don't like
17:07
and let's say you want to see a new movie that's coming out and they said they wanted to see the
17:12
new movie that's coming out you might get a thing on your phone that says boop you and your match
17:18
both are available right now and you both want to see this movie should i get tickets
17:23
can you filter it so you only match based on certain things if you're like oh i only want to
17:29
match with you like like that yeah like i'm going to see this movie but i want to go with
17:32
absolutely but then part of this problem is the loneliness thing so now do you just have to go to
17:40
a densely populated area just start like walking by as many people as possible just be like match
17:46
somebody match with me well we we advise against calling that out vocally oh okay yeah so
17:53
match somebody match
17:55
holding up a sign yeah
17:56
stand near me
17:58
oh but I'm not a predator don't worry
18:01
oh I guess
18:03
the audience can't see me shushing my lips
18:04
yeah I think they felt it
18:07
yeah
18:07
okay
18:10
I do think
18:12
I would wonder how close you would have to be
18:15
to somebody and it would have to be ubiquitous
18:17
enough that enough people are wearing
18:19
them that
18:20
let's just be real the jewelry's for fun your phone can do it too yeah that's true yeah um
18:29
but sometimes sometimes you want a little jewelry merch is cool yeah yeah and i like i like too that
18:40
it's a multiple of of jewelry you could pick the kind of jewelry that you want yeah honestly the
18:47
type of jewelry that you want it's another way to yeah that's another way to match like if a dude's
18:53
walking around with a pinky ring will match me up you know you'd love my dad no no dennis has a
19:00
pinky ring yeah wow um or if it someone has an anklet again i say no
19:09
do you think an anklet can be sexy
19:14
no
19:15
maybe at the beach
19:16
I tend towards trashy
19:20
with anklets not sexy
19:21
what if it's clearly brand new they got it for their beach vacation
19:24
what if it's on my
19:26
ankle what if you haven't looked down
19:28
at my ankles today and you're about to feel real stupid
19:30
oh my
19:32
god it's so
19:34
I'm going to the beach
19:35
the levels of sexy
19:38
okay what is this invention called
19:42
I don't know
19:44
I'm thinking something with like
19:47
like
19:48
homeo
19:50
like Romeo
19:54
yeah like homeo and Juliet or something
19:57
it's like friends or lovers
19:58
what is what about like homeostasis
20:01
though oh oh I thought you were
20:03
suggesting it and I was like yes
20:05
but like homeo what is
20:06
like homies like or like homie in like homing in
20:10
homeo homey in yeah homey closer
20:15
but is it homeo spelled like romeo or is it spelled like homey like i always think of homey
20:22
like as in like buddy yeah that's what i was going for h-o-m-i-e yeah oh maybe yeah like hyphen
20:28
know okay homeo kind of does make it sound like a gay dating app yeah bye gays
20:37
yeah yeah or just you're gonna get a ton ton of new gay friends yeah i'd like i just like
20:45
of homing in on your homies,
20:48
you know?
20:50
Or buds.
20:52
Bud.
20:53
Bud.
20:55
Bud.
20:57
Laser.
20:58
Bud day.
21:00
Bud day.
21:01
Bud day?
21:02
Yeah, like it's your buddy day.
21:03
Bud day?
21:03
Yeah.
21:04
No, no, no.
21:05
Oh, okay.
21:05
No.
21:07
Nope.
21:08
I was thinking like it's like
21:09
it's the day of the bud
21:11
with your buddy.
21:13
Bud day.
21:14
But you ruined it.
21:15
I don't think I ruined it.
21:16
I think Bidet's ruined it.
21:18
You called out the flaws.
21:19
Pal around.
21:22
Pal around?
21:23
Yeah.
21:24
Pal around?
21:25
We're palling around, but there's a pal around.
21:27
Oh.
21:30
You're palling around, but there is a pal around.
21:33
Pal around.
21:34
Pal around.
21:35
Yeah, pal around.
21:36
I like it.
21:38
Good job, Joe.
21:39
Yes.
21:43
All right.
21:44
Well, I think that if you got enough people to adopt this, I do actually think this would be a good, like, I think this would, uh, shockingly.
21:55
I don't know what you mean.
21:56
Uh, this is a good idea.
21:59
Um, wow.
21:59
Well, listeners, you heard it here first.
22:03
Uh, predators do not steal the paleroom.
22:06
Yeah, we don't want it tainted with you.
22:08
Yeah.
22:09
Get in on it after it's popular.
22:10
Or get on it and then realize, I don't have to be a predator.
22:14
I can just be a nice person.
22:15
Yeah.
22:16
You're never too...
22:17
I heard this the other day.
22:18
I thought it was so beautiful.
22:20
You never...
22:22
Oh, shoot.
22:23
You're never too much of a predator to stop being a predator.
22:27
Yeah, it's close enough.
22:28
Oh, that's beautiful.
22:29
Yeah.
22:30
I want that on a pillow.
22:31
Yeah.
22:33
Predators, you hear that?
22:34
You could be prey.
22:35
Just be prey.
22:36
Yeah.
22:37
Be like the rest of us.
22:38
How do you know you don't like it?
22:39
Yeah.
22:39
you I honestly I love being just prey yeah wait for someone to get in your car do you think we
22:48
should make a horror movie called eat prey love like a horror version of the movie eat prey love
22:53
now I do okay and if we both have that on our profile ding ding I know that would be a really
22:58
that would be like a crazy that would be like soulmate level if you put something that specific
23:03
and you're like deal breaker and then and then you're walking around like no one's ever gonna
23:06
match with me and then somebody matches with you you have to then it would be like i i've gotta see
23:11
yeah that's like sex in the plaza level i don't know what that means it means no matter where you
23:19
are you like oh it's on yeah get in the fountain with me okay but then but but it's also just for
23:26
friends and we're not it's not necessarily for dating right but soulmate i kind of don't you
23:32
you would want to
23:34
have sex with your soulmate, right?
23:36
Probably.
23:39
I would
23:39
you'd probably at least try it.
23:42
For sure.
23:47
Oh no.
23:49
Well, thanks for investing.
23:51
Yeah, pal around.
23:53
That title just came to me.
23:55
It was brilliant.
23:57
It was inspired, Francis.
23:59
Go to friendslikeuspod.com
24:01
Invest.
24:02
and the pal around.
24:07
Except for predators.
24:09
But then predators have cured you also.
24:12
So you're now no longer a predator.
24:13
We're conflicted.
24:15
All right.
24:15
Good job.
24:16
And I'm excited to see this questionnaire.
24:18
I think that's the big thing.
24:19
That'll be the...
24:20
That's how you...
24:21
That's how you really got to refine this tech.
24:25
I'll start working on it tonight.
24:26
Okay, cool.
24:27
Good.
24:28
And then listeners,
24:28
if you have questions
24:30
that you think should be included in this questionnaire for the pal around then please email us friendslikeusofficial at gmail and then we include your questions in the questionnaire
24:45
I think that does it for the invention of the week.
24:50
All right.
24:52
It's time for our next segment
24:54
called Take It or Believe It.
25:01
Listen up, honey.
25:03
you can either take it or believe it.
25:06
In this section, in this segment,
25:09
I don't know why I just call it a section.
25:11
You were raised in the orchestra.
25:13
Oh, that's true.
25:14
I am an orchestra child.
25:15
I'm a feral orchestra child.
25:18
You were the pigeon lady from Home Alone 2,
25:20
looking down into the...
25:22
But I'm Benjamin Buttoning,
25:23
so I'm getting younger.
25:24
Yes.
25:25
So that's why, that's how come I,
25:27
that was me when I was just a little kid.
25:31
That makes that sadder.
25:33
that I was homeless above the orchestra section.
25:37
All right.
25:38
So then this segment is,
25:42
it's similar to like a two truths and a lie,
25:47
except we're going to do two lies and a truth here.
25:52
Francis and I are each going to give three strange but true facts.
25:58
And we have to see if the other person can guess
26:01
which one is the actual true fact.
26:03
So two of them will be fake.
26:06
One of them will be real.
26:08
And we have to see if we can guess
26:10
the other person's real fact.
26:12
No hard feelings, okay?
26:13
No, I'm going to take this real personal.
26:15
Take it hard?
26:15
Oh, yeah.
26:16
Oh, yeah.
26:18
I'm going to take this real personal.
26:20
Yeah.
26:21
Okay.
26:21
Hard.
26:24
How are we doing this?
26:27
What?
26:28
Do we want to just...
26:29
um what's i'll i'll do all my facts just do them right in a row you can either guess right away or
26:37
ruminate on no yeah yeah i'll do all mine we'll do mine first and then we'll do yours okay um okay
26:43
my first fact for you king charles the now king charles formerly prince charles
26:52
he's actually a classically trained puppeteer oh like for real like uh he
27:00
like with like marionettes like could do it pro style he just doesn't ever i mean we never get to
27:07
see that from him but he's a classically trained puppeteer that's fact number one oh i just want
27:14
to say right now i thought these were supposed to be all about us but oh so i love i love this
27:21
It's going to be a fun little twist.
27:24
All right, then.
27:25
We know that Jonah Bloom-Lights is King Chuck.
27:27
Sir?
27:28
Yeah.
27:28
King Chuck?
27:29
Yeah, that's me.
27:30
I'm King Charles.
27:31
Hey.
27:32
Nice puppets.
27:37
Fact number two.
27:40
The Statue of Liberty has actually gained weight since 1886, I think, is when it was
27:48
given to the United States or when it was unveiled, whatever.
27:52
I'm not including the year. You just guessed as part of that.
27:55
Okay. It's not a guess, actually. It is 1886.
27:58
It was originally
28:01
223 tons, so that's about
28:06
446,000 pounds.
28:13
It is now about
28:15
450,000 pounds, so about 225 tons.
28:20
But over time, things have built up, and the expansion of the metal, also from being in
28:27
the sun, has caused it to gain weight.
28:31
A statue of liberty.
28:32
That's what happened to me, too.
28:33
Like a good American has gotten fatter as she's gotten older.
28:39
That sounds so plausible, yet it was so long.
28:42
That's fact number two.
28:43
Okay.
28:45
Uh, fact number three, you could actually hallucinate if you have too much nutmeg.
28:55
Uh, okay.
28:57
Yeah.
28:57
Thank you.
28:58
Um, yeah.
28:59
That's probably why they always tell you just a sprinkle of nutmeg.
29:03
But anyway.
29:04
Okay.
29:05
Thank you for all those.
29:06
So.
29:07
Okay.
29:08
Are you going to tell me right after?
29:12
Um, yeah.
29:14
Yeah.
29:15
I don't know. We'll see how I feel after you guess.
29:17
Okay. I love that.
29:19
My prediction is that the Statue of Liberty has, in fact, gotten heavier.
29:29
That's what you think is the truth.
29:31
Okay.
29:32
Yeah. No, no, no. Yes.
29:34
I'm not trying to sway your decision. I'm just clarifying.
29:38
You're saying that's the truth. That's the true statement.
29:40
No. I think the truth is you can hallucinate on too much nutmeg.
29:45
right okay god i'm glad this is not like in the underworld and this is like
29:51
my one way in into the underworld like into like the good part party town i thought the underworld
30:00
was hell i'm gonna make it my own okay hey it's only hell if uh you're having a bad time
30:10
yeah i'm gonna be pissed if king charles is i was gonna say you're not even considering no
30:15
I am it's just so ridiculous it could be true
30:17
but
30:19
you know that I would think that
30:20
you know that I would think that was too ridiculous
30:23
to be true maybe it's true
30:25
maybe that's what him and Camilla
30:27
were doing yeah
30:28
the old
30:31
the old puppet master
30:33
yeah
30:34
let me just
30:37
sigh
30:40
sigh
30:41
I think you can hallucinate on too much
30:45
much nutmeg okay that's your final guess yeah that is correct i did it you did it i did it i
30:53
really i was so happy when you said the statue of liberty thing i shouldn't have let you keep talking
30:58
i should just take it that as your final answer no this is it sounded real though right it does
31:03
and the statue of liberty actually does weigh 225 pounds or tons rather and um it was 1886 that it
31:11
was brought over 200 and how much 25 tons 450 000 is it like evenly dispersed or is it like she oh
31:20
she wears it well yeah like good for you girl like those something about the the draping on
31:26
those robes really does right because the robes look heavy the fingers are big yeah nice hips
31:33
she's got birth and hips yeah she got perfect nose does she yeah i actually can't picture her
31:38
nose. Yeah, it's a perfectly defined nose.
31:40
It'd be really funny if they gave us a statue with like a big
31:42
crooked nose or like
31:43
one big nostril.
31:46
Yeah, or like a deformed earlobe
31:48
or something. Yeah, that'd be really funny.
31:51
Are her earlobes
31:52
attached? I was just wondering that.
31:55
I guess we'll never know.
31:56
Well, we could. Let's go. Let's go right now.
31:58
Yeah. And we're back.
32:00
They're not attached. Wow, she's gorgeous.
32:02
That was amazing. What a bod.
32:04
Alright, well, I guess
32:06
it's... You know how I feel about people in sandals, though.
32:08
yep just goes to toast well thanks i won you yeah well i well we could maybe tie yeah we could tie
32:16
okay now these are all about me okay i like that even better yep all right because now i'm really
32:23
gonna be learning something she has detached yeah detached earlobes yes which we know because we
32:29
were just there we just paused the podcast here's a picture oh beautiful look how happy we are yeah
32:35
smiling with a hot dog okay so here's my three truths okay
32:42
truth one yes when i was a kid um
32:48
my you had a vital track what if i use that yeah i hope they forgot um no when i was a kid at my
32:59
dad's like pizza place there was this guy that like worked for him or with him or whatever and
33:04
it was like Halloween time and I really liked him and I didn't want him to go.
33:09
So, um, I handcuffed us together and he couldn't go to his Halloween party and we had to walk
33:14
down the street to a locksmith and have it taken off.
33:17
Okay.
33:19
All right.
33:20
I'm storing that one away.
33:21
Okay.
33:22
That's one.
33:22
Okay.
33:24
Uh, story two.
33:26
One time when we were in Rocky Point and I was younger, I was running around the beach
33:30
and it was a very rocky beach.
33:32
Ooh.
33:33
Again, aptly named.
33:34
Oh, I didn't even think of that.
33:36
Yeah.
33:36
Wow.
33:38
And I was running and I tripped and I fell down really hard.
33:44
And one of the like lava, like it's like how the rock is.
33:47
Yeah.
33:47
It like hit me right in the middle of the stomach.
33:50
And I was like.
33:53
And I couldn't breathe.
33:54
And I couldn't think.
33:55
And I thought I was going to die for like 10 minutes.
33:58
Yeah.
33:59
Yeah.
33:59
Okay.
34:00
That was tough.
34:01
Or was it?
34:02
and this one
34:04
I feel like I can
34:05
no I'll use this one
34:07
sigh
34:09
my dad's friend
34:12
married someone
34:14
who
34:15
we used to go visit
34:17
like
34:17
people that they knew
34:18
on like the Indian Reservation
34:19
and one time
34:21
we were out in the woods
34:22
on the reservation
34:23
and
34:24
we found
34:26
a dead body
34:27
the end
34:30
okay
34:33
so which one of those is true
34:36
okay I
34:40
I could see you handcuffing yourself to somebody
34:44
that seems like something you would do
34:47
I feel like the dead body story would have had more to it
34:55
you want to ask a question?
34:58
a follow up question?
34:59
yeah go ahead
34:59
male or female
35:02
we don't know
35:03
it was wrapped in cloth
35:04
how do you know
35:07
it was dead
35:07
and not just a
35:08
sleepy guy
35:08
um
35:10
I'm too young
35:11
to remember that detail
35:12
I can just tell you that
35:13
they were of the
35:15
mind your own business
35:16
philosophy
35:16
and we just
35:17
got the hell out
35:18
like they didn't report it
35:22
oh
35:22
which now I'm like
35:23
oh you probably should have
35:24
hmm
35:26
but I was a child
35:27
and I feel like
35:27
I can't get in trouble
35:28
and what was your initial reaction to that finding that dead body
35:33
i was scared as a kid i wanted to get out of the woods i don't like the woods
35:40
okay this all right i i'm gonna i gotta go rocky point uh i apologize for a second
35:50
okay oh i messed up what'd you do these are all true
35:58
I just realized I don't have a fake lie.
36:02
You were supposed to have two lies.
36:03
Two lies?
36:04
Oh, no.
36:06
Shoot.
36:07
Well, I guess we can also call this segment,
36:11
learn it a little more about Francis.
36:13
So I was right.
36:14
You did handcaff yourself to somebody.
36:15
That didn't feel like something that you would do.
36:17
But the dead body thing is real too?
36:19
Yeah.
36:20
That sounds so fake.
36:21
Oh, how did you?
36:22
Wow.
36:23
Oh my God.
36:25
Wow.
36:25
yeah it was a bloody wrapped
36:27
human shaped thing in the woods
36:31
whoa
36:31
that's wild
36:32
that is crazy
36:33
yeah
36:34
I'm
36:36
hope I'm allowed to talk about it
36:38
I can't believe I
36:40
I did it all wrong
36:43
oh man
36:45
I didn't have
36:45
I supposed to have two lies
36:46
two of them were supposed to be lies
36:49
remember how we just did it
36:51
just now
36:51
I am Puss Okay Puss where In boots Okay All right well you redeemed yourself
37:04
Damn.
37:05
All right, well, that's interesting to know.
37:11
I guess...
37:12
Okay, how about...
37:13
You can't give us a lie now.
37:16
No, I was just going to say, guess which one hurt the most.
37:22
the rocky point one you're good yep the one where you thought you were gonna die i can't believe i
37:29
did this i'm sorry you guys that has been take it or believe it
37:37
and i think with francis we're all believing it oh it's all true that's so embarrassing that's
37:46
alright. You can
37:48
redeem yourself right now
37:49
with the big
37:52
question.
37:54
The question is very big.
37:57
Okay.
37:58
I have a big question
38:00
for you. Okay. Can you handle it?
38:03
No.
38:04
We'll see. Okay, we'll see.
38:07
My question is,
38:09
if you
38:12
were
38:12
put in a time travel machine and
38:16
sent back to like a long time ago.
38:19
Let's say like medieval or Renaissance times.
38:22
This is like a long time ago.
38:25
How would you convince other people that you were from the future?
38:30
And let me just say that when you got beamed back into time,
38:34
your glasses didn't come, you were bald because I don't want them to be like,
38:38
she has modern hair, you know, so you're bald.
38:42
I'm bald?
38:43
Or just peasant-y looking.
38:45
okay
38:46
I don't get the bald actually might
38:50
work in my favor
38:51
people are bald
38:53
baldness is eternal
38:54
how many women are more bald
38:57
oh
38:58
you're right
39:06
okay so your hair just
39:09
matches times
39:11
um
39:13
okay
39:15
that would be tough because anything you'd say would they'd start accusing you of being a witch
39:20
um yeah so i asked and what how do i appear like how how is my presence
39:29
like i'm this new entity in their lives how am i suddenly like explained to them i just appear
39:35
for all they know you walked from the next town over your big claim is you're from the future
39:39
okay that's true um okay i see yeah that you would like normally you'd say you want to
39:50
predict things but you can't really predict like like old man johnson's cow's gonna
39:57
he's gonna stop making milk um i i don't know how i'd do it uh you've stumped me on this one
40:07
because you could if you tried to explain technology it would you really can't i mean
40:12
most people can't most people don't understand technology enough yeah i mean i couldn't really
40:19
explain most of it right now but i guess um somebody get me a potato and two wires
40:25
maybe if you just started like in
40:28
yeah maybe if you just started inventing things like right then oh my god are you from the future
40:36
Is that what the Adventures of the Week are about?
40:39
Thank you for finally noticing.
40:40
But if you just start inventing things like, hey, you know.
40:45
Like what, though?
40:46
Like, I don't know.
40:47
Indoor plumbing would be nice.
40:49
But could you really invent indoor plumbing?
40:52
Because what if you told them about it and they were like, that's just a good idea.
40:56
It's not necessarily proof of anything.
41:00
Which?
41:01
But if you were coming up with a whole bunch of really good ideas.
41:03
If you were a nonstop good idea machine.
41:05
you're like an old-fashioned ben franklin then people respect you but future
41:10
um yeah i don't know if you could people would just think you were crazy or a witch
41:19
so maybe you have a theory well i can say like maybe let's say it was like if it was specific to
41:27
like if you went back around a period of time where something big was happening and you could
41:32
help? Yeah.
41:35
Okay. Like, if it was during the time of, like, the Black Plague...
41:37
But again, how would I help?
41:42
You could be like, it's not the
41:43
cats, it's the rats.
41:46
Did they think it was cats?
41:48
My social studies teacher told us that.
41:51
Do you think that was a take it or believe it situation?
41:54
Well, if I was a teacher, it would have been true.
41:56
Yeah.
41:56
um but yeah he said that they thought it was the cats that were spreading it so they like
42:06
killed all the cats they could find and then they had even more rats because there was no cats
42:11
idiots yeah they deserve to die but the cats are the the people in the black plague yeah but that's
42:18
my point is if it's something like that where you can be like i know about this you know people are
42:24
like, you know, using leeches, you can be like, nah.
42:29
Like scientific principles.
42:30
Yeah.
42:31
Yeah.
42:31
But that's a tight rope to walk because someone's like, you know, which.
42:36
Which.
42:36
Yeah.
42:36
You start using science.
42:38
You get to be.
42:39
But I also don't like what would be a cure.
42:41
There's no, there wasn't like a cure for them.
42:43
So like, how do you, if you were, you were like, just trust me, this is the way to make
42:48
people better.
42:49
That would be one thing.
42:52
No, just giving information.
42:53
yeah it's from like a high point away from everyone it's not the cats you're wearing one
42:58
of those masks with like a really long nose like the bird beak nose masks yeah plague doctors yeah
43:04
yeah um so we don't really have a good answer to this um i think there's got to be something you
43:10
could like okay when people are like cowering in fear because of an eclipse you could be like
43:16
actually
43:16
we learn in the future that it's because of
43:20
this
43:20
well didn't they like try and
43:24
kill people that said that
43:25
specifically we told you not to
43:28
talk about the eclipse
43:29
but they did kill people that were like
43:31
actually the earth revolves around the sun
43:34
not the other way
43:36
around and you
43:37
yeah Galileo me and Galileo
43:40
would be having a real fun time in prison
43:41
together
43:42
I think this was a very hard ask
43:46
Yeah.
43:48
I agree.
43:49
If you could just write down and pass this down to every generation of your family that Amazon and Google and Apple is going to be huge.
43:56
Yeah.
43:56
You don't have to understand it now.
44:00
Just write down the word apple and pass it down.
44:04
We already have apples.
44:06
No, just trust me.
44:07
No, just trust me.
44:09
It's an apple you can't eat.
44:12
Yeah, because I can't explain any invention myself either.
44:15
Yeah.
44:16
So I should learn how to explain the technology of something so that when I go back to the past.
44:22
Also, I would be fine if they burned me as a witch.
44:24
No.
44:26
Yes, because...
44:27
Fire hurts.
44:27
Okay, but that...
44:30
The medieval times sound so terrible to me.
44:37
I would not want to live there.
44:39
Again, I feel like it smells.
44:43
Everything smells.
44:44
People probably have shit all over themselves.
44:46
Like, I don't know.
44:48
Yeah.
44:48
Don't yuck their yum, okay?
44:51
I was...
44:52
How am I yucking their yum?
44:56
You're going to go back in time and be like,
44:57
Ew, shit!
44:59
But they're like, mmm, yum.
45:00
It's fashionable.
45:02
I love my shit.
45:03
I put that on my coat.
45:04
I wasn't covered in shit.
45:06
I do it on purpose.
45:07
This is for Mr. Johnson's milkless cow.
45:11
Yeah.
45:12
All right.
45:13
Well, I guess we don't have a good answer to this big question.
45:15
So let me get this straight.
45:16
I've ruined the segment and I stumped on the question.
45:21
Well, it's, I think it's a good thought experiment and it might be something we can revisit.
45:25
We can reopen the big question.
45:27
If we figure out a way later or listeners, if you have a surefire way, let us know.
45:34
You are obsessed with fire.
45:39
Statue of Liberty had fire when we were there.
45:43
Yeah, she still has it.
45:44
She still has it.
45:44
She loves fire.
45:45
We were going to steal it, but we didn't.
45:47
Pyro, babe.
45:48
Yeah, if you have a solution to this problem, email us at friendslikeusofficial at gmail.com
45:56
or leave us a comment on any, whatever your favorite social media platform is.
46:02
Across all of them, we are at flu pod official.
46:07
That's F-L-U-P-O-D official.
46:10
Anywhere on social media.
46:12
um i guess we'll wrap one last thing to do wrap up the secret word oh wait let's real quick we're
46:19
wrapping up the big question oh the big question okay now it's wrapped so yeah secret words did
46:25
you say yours i did and you i did you did i did well you you did it smooth so did you i have one
46:32
guess oh shoot oh okay is your word eternal no okay i thought you were gonna get it for sure
46:42
because I feel like I was really hamming mine in.
46:45
Is your word dead body in the forest?
46:50
Is your word?
46:50
Why don't you understand the segment?
46:52
No, my word is earlobe.
46:56
Oh, and then we made a whole thing about our earlobes.
46:59
We did.
46:59
It couldn't have worked out better for me.
47:01
So you did say earlobes, which my word was earlobe.
47:04
Does that count as an extra point?
47:06
Yeah, I want to give it to you.
47:07
I also want to give it to you because I totally forgot that you were with earlobe
47:11
you got me to say the word wow yeah that's true joe three points joe said it too wow wait three
47:18
points because one because he said it wait wait we don't get a point for saying our own secret word
47:25
saying it and you didn't guess it yeah oh we get points for saying it and not guess okay i was just
47:31
assuming we only got points when we guessed yeah what are you from the future oh okay so yes and
47:37
then you got not only me to say it but you got joe to say it too wow yeah i'm pretty good big day
47:43
for francis huge terrible with the segments fantastic with the secret word point rich
47:50
all right do you have a guess for me uh yeah is it puppets no oh that would have been cool
48:00
oh yeah no i i actually just like talking about puppets is your word nutmeg no
48:06
you think i had my secret fact written out before my secret it's true i i am crafty like that
48:14
i'm not a predator but i am crafty like that it's not predator i saw your eyes light up
48:21
i know i thought you were getting sorry i don't know it then entity it was my word i thought you
48:27
were gonna get it because i did not do a very elegant job when we were in the last in the big
48:31
question i said so i just like this entity that shows up in the in the past and they don't wonder
48:39
i kind of stop trusting you so much i know that's the problem we're okay all right well
48:45
i got one point francis got three dang thanks everyone that was a huge success for you i am
48:52
Puss in boots.
48:55
I'm losing it.
48:57
It's getting worse every time.
48:58
I'm pussing boots.
49:01
All right.
49:02
Well, that's it for this episode of Friends Like Us.
49:07
Thanks for listening.
49:09
Bye.