Latest / The Bald Brothers Podcast / 55: Man Gets Paid Being A Professional Friend | #isawthisontheinternet

Transcript

55: Man Gets Paid Being A Professional Friend | #isawthisontheinternet · The Bald Brothers Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What up, y'all. Welcome to Ourselves on the Internet. A
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: new podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: I mean it's not really a new podcast, but it's
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: a podcast where we sometimes talk about crazy stories that
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: you submit to internet at kevil onstage dot com. All
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: the stories that we get to this season from viewers
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: like you, PBS. Today's guests Cornelio Stradwick, who had her
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: own phone and her own phone number.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: The rest of us is working class. Yeah, we made
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: our work through the world, made our way through the world.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: We had to walk to the liver room and take
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: a phone call and it just reached over woking.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: First class. There's a level, all right.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: So this first story and also if you don't know,
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: the comedians don't know the story until until I read
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: it to him. This first story, I feel like it's
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: gonna be right up. Tony Baker's auty Oh dream job.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: This Japanese man who gets paid to do nothing. Okay,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Soji Modimoto has what some would see as the dream job.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: He gets paid to do pretty much nothing. Thirty eight
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: year old Tokyo resident charges ten thousand year, which is
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: seventy one US per booking per booking to accompany clients
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: and simply exist as a comparing Onion quote, Basically, I
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: ripped myself out. My job is to be wherever my
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: clients want me to be and do nothing in particular,
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: adding that he handled some fourth Actually, Tony probably hates
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: this as I read it. It's probably the worst thing.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Tony h he had that he had four thousand sessions
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: in the last past four years. One of his jobs,
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: he just goes to a park and sea sauce with
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: someone else, and then this other person, the other person
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: wanted him to accompany them to the train and wave
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: to them as they got sent off.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Wow, seventy people are hiring friends.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: Why would you think this would be me?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: That's why I changed.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Nothing part was you. But then I realized he actually
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: has to do a lot and be with people.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Uh.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: He does turn down offers. Uh sometimes Once he turned
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: down to offer to move a fridge.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's not that's a move.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: You're a mover a job, and he turns down any
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: request of sexual nature. Okay, So basically he just he's
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: just for companionship. Yeah, they want to go out to eat.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: This time he went out to lunch with somebody.
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: For seventy one dollars An hour an hour. I mean
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: that's a gig.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: You need to feel pretty confident about it.
• 2:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you're gonna be pretty confident in your personality to
• 2:27
  Speaker 6: be like you can rent me out.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I don't have that kind of confidence. Yeah.
• 2:32
  Speaker 7: And I feel like only he can get away with
• 2:33
  Speaker 7: this because when black women say we want to be
• 2:35
  Speaker 7: compensated for an hour time, we get to do.
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: It, but we don't get to do I can't be compensated.
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: For my dad.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it do that.
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the girls, I don't understand seventy one dollars. I
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: can live with an hour. Oh that's perfect, two and
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: a half hour date.
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: My personality is worth money.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well that means and I'm confident my personality.
• 3:10
  Speaker 8: Like I'll tell people all the time, I'm a good
• 3:12
  Speaker 8: time a person. Once you give me, I'm a good time.
• 3:16
  Speaker 8: I'm hard to get them.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: Inside man, I'm hard to give.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Beat cross man with the.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: Good luck trying to give me once you got me?
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, giving them compliments.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know that I would need this because
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: I really enjoy being alone, Like I didn't when I
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: was a kid, or I was not kid when I
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: was younger.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I used to be like I can't go to the
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: movies by myself. I can't go to dinner by myself.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Now it's a fantasy.
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: How many when when my wife and I have like
• 3:58
  Speaker 6: a lunch together, it's just at home.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: I'm like, can you eat in a different room.
• 4:04
  Speaker 6: I want to eat and watch YouTube on my phone.
• 4:08
  Speaker 6: I don't want to talk to you right now.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: Let me have this.
• 4:10
  Speaker 6: Just let me have my hummus or my old meal,
• 4:15
  Speaker 6: whatever meal I'm having right now. Just let me have this,
• 4:18
  Speaker 6: have it, that's one thing about it, and watch whatever
• 4:20
  Speaker 6: I want on YouTube.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: I want to customize experience.
• 4:23
  Speaker 6: I don't want to have to deal with what you
• 4:24
  Speaker 6: might say.
• 4:28
  Speaker 7: Seventy doesn't pay someone to not be with him.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, I would pay you to go away.
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: I would be seventy dollars an hour.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, I'd be by myself. On the road,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: I'd be by myself.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Love it.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Remember remember the movie Past days? Did you ever get
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Movie Road?
• 4:48
  Speaker 6: I get Movie Past and I go see a movie
• 4:50
  Speaker 6: I've seen three times and just text on my phone
• 4:52
  Speaker 6: in the back row, the best day of my life,
• 4:56
  Speaker 6: better than the first time I saw it.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: No one there, just me. No, I'm not I don't
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: even I don't even remember. I have a wife and kids.
• 5:06
  Speaker 8: It's something about the movie theater. Man, You just elsewhere?
• 5:09
  Speaker 8: Yeah for two hours? Yeah, just gone off the grid.
• 5:13
  Speaker 8: And then what you tell people I'm at the movies.
• 5:14
  Speaker 8: Everybody backs off no matter what.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm at the movie.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, no matter what.
• 5:24
  Speaker 6: They respect that more than anything could be, like, Yo,
• 5:26
  Speaker 6: I'm in the I fell in the river, I'm in
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: the car.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: I'm at the movies. I'm sorry, figured out forget.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: Get me when the movie's over. Could you come get
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: me out of the well?
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: Could you? I'm in the well. But it's all right.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: It's still like I.
• 5:38
  Speaker 8: Guess the movie's rapping after the movie for sure, for sure,
• 5:41
  Speaker 8: for sure they started whispering in the text.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Me when it's over. Enjoyed the movie? How is it
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: so far? Who did it? Who was the killing? People
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: respect that movie.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: But I feel like if you I'm a great time
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: with people are already knowing like, yeah, new people, that's
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: a lot man, you seventy one, and don't you just
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: talking about dumb stuff.
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: Or yeh what?
• 6:06
  Speaker 8: And I'm like, because I gotta I gotta touch your energy. Yeah,
• 6:10
  Speaker 8: because I could be a good time to a new person.
• 6:12
  Speaker 8: But the energy you gotta be right right and if not,
• 6:14
  Speaker 8: I can't force it.
• 6:15
  Speaker 7: And you gotta be a good time based on what
• 6:16
  Speaker 7: they want to do. You can't pick the activity.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: No, right, that's the thing, that's the thing.
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: Moving refrigerator. You ain't gonna get that.
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: The wave that the train one is real, sad, that's
• 6:27
  Speaker 6: that's real.
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: Probably on somebody. Let's say you had like your ex
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: was on the train.
• 6:33
  Speaker 7: You like, I'm gonna pay you the seventy one show
• 6:35
  Speaker 7: up at the train station platform two this.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: Way waving way.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but look at the one and be like, yo,
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: who is the this is? This is like the guy.
• 6:48
  Speaker 6: Don't see this is like the guy that hires a
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: prostitute to go to his high school reunion. Like I'm
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: rents a Cadillac. Now, I got friends. I'm doing all right.
• 6:57
  Speaker 6: People miss me.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: This person said, I'm leaving in my when.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: I travel, I'm in my own world.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: I think because I traveled so much to just be like.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: I got my flight playlist. Yeah, R and B is
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: great for a flight, No alleg her, they make great
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: take off and relax music.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I got my shows.
• 7:18
  Speaker 6: Ce where you're sitting down where you're sitting on the plane.
• 7:21
  Speaker 6: Pretty comfortable up there.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Pretty comfortable. It doesn't even matter if they have TV's
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  Speaker 1: on them.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: I got my own secret airport. Want to be.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: They have TVs another Yeah, drove you out there?
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, Delta text me and they picked me up and
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: carry me on the plane.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: Lower you man the plane.
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: See, I was by myself this weekend in DC. Man,
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: I took a walk, I had lunch.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, a great city.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: D is a great.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: Probably time.
• 8:01
  Speaker 7: Yeah, because you're working from home too well, and I
• 8:03
  Speaker 7: just it's hard for me to I don't like getting
• 8:05
  Speaker 7: people together no more.
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: I don't got time. You want to go, I ain't
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: got what I'll just go.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true, I'll just head out.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I don't mind doing things by myself. Melissa's company is great.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: She's great added value. But when I was younger, I
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: didn't want to do stuff unless somebody would go with me.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Now I don't mind experiencing things that I like alone
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: by myself.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I go to the museum.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: My family don't like them. And now see when they go,
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: I know y'a don't want to be here.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: You're rushing me.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: So if y'all don't want to go stand, I'll read
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: this is.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: So the great, this is what.
• 8:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah, this is why I don't like watching movies with people,
• 8:50
  Speaker 6: because I don't want them to maybe not like it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 6: And I'm like, I don't care about I don't if
• 8:55
  Speaker 6: you're not happy, I don't care.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: I don't want to let me off the road.
• 9:00
  Speaker 8: Sometimes be like, don't come with me. Now we're gonna
• 9:03
  Speaker 8: come with you don't know, y'all gonna mess.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: Up my little.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Biscuits.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the biscuits.
• 9:09
  Speaker 8: And then they were like, yo, telling you're going to
• 9:11
  Speaker 8: get the biscuits. I'm like, why are you asking?
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: And then if they don't like the biscuit.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: He's the biscuits. He was like, none of this.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: Let me see this movie.
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: Let me.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Turn into a crab. His friend, he was at his
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: friend's house. He punched him because he was following him around.
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: Absolutely friend in the friend's house. Yeah, turned around and star,
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: why turn around? I told him.
• 9:46
  Speaker 8: I was like, you aren't following me, man, because I
• 9:49
  Speaker 8: noticed he was following me.
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna give you some time, like is he following me?
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: So I go to a different room.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Here he comes, I.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: Go to another room. He comes. I'm like, yo, man,
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: he just wants following me. He like, it's my house,
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: and I had no rebuttal.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Are you still on the right there?
• 10:10
  Speaker 8: Yeah, this is my house, he said, this is my house.
• 10:13
  Speaker 8: I had no rebuttals.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: You're right five.
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: I just went back to like and I went home.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Left left the same.
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: Friends.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Because if you don't.
• 10:32
  Speaker 5: Like the biscuits, nasty.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: The biscuits were outrageously delicious, right, but not he was guaranteed.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: There was no guarantee that everyone's got a different.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: Mouth exactly didn't like them.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: I hate when people don't like a meal that I
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: picked out.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: That happened to me all the time. Yeah, they're gonna
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: bring it up because a lot of.
• 10:51
  Speaker 8: Times I'll go to places that I haven't been to before,
• 10:53
  Speaker 8: but they, like Tony said, they get a little spot
• 10:56
  Speaker 8: over here, they coming with me.
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: I can't vouch for the place. You're still putting it
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: on me.
• 11:00
  Speaker 8: And then if it's Nancy, like man, Tony Man, then
• 11:02
  Speaker 8: they be laying in my face like.
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: This is good. Did they get around the other friend bulletshit?
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: I'm like, man, you just saying it's good. So now
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: they'd be like, just leave me alone.
• 11:13
  Speaker 6: It's not my I like this That's why when you're
• 11:15
  Speaker 6: like when you get in a relationship, A real relationship
• 11:17
  Speaker 6: is walking into a food court and going where do
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: you want to eat? You go here, I'm going to
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: Panda Express.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: You go here.
• 11:25
  Speaker 6: The older I get, the more I get why some
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: couples do separate bedrooms.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Listen.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I don't want to get into this too much because
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: I'll talk about on the podcast. Jada Pinkett and Will
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: basically been divorced since twenty sixteen.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: They said, living separate lives.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: They were like, listen, the house is big enough for
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: us to enjoy our whole lives and still be around
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: each other.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Patrick Cloud maintains.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: He would only get married if he could live in
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: his own house, she live in her house, and they
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: could visit with one another.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I was watching the crowd Queen Elizabeth and your boy.
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah he was never in there, said.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: What time with you?
• 12:06
  Speaker 6: She was like, get out, get out of my room.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: That's a range.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Though still not get it though her face, Why you
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: are my wrong?
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: I didn't know it's a range. And then you know,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: a lot of times arrange they eventually come together. They
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: never came together. She was flabber guest man, I enjoyed
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Melissa's company, but also the pandemic. Man realized part of
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: UH healthy relationship is a distance.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: You gotta do your own thing.
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: I need to miss you.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: That's my life. Is my best friend, But I don't
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: always want a friend.
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: Why are you following me right now? Sometimes be following us?
• 12:51
  Speaker 6: Man?
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: Why are you following me? Man?
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: What I just listen?
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: Man? I just want to always in my big.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: I don't even want a friend right now.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I don't really like me. Yeah, I could leave myself alone.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I would separating.
• 13:08
  Speaker 6: Part of what I'm putting out right now makes you
• 13:10
  Speaker 6: think I want to talk to anybody.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: Man, I don't like me right now. I don't like
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: what's going on in here.
• 13:16
  Speaker 7: So now, if Melissa at this point said, you know what,
• 13:18
  Speaker 7: let's have separate bedrooms, you would be like, what the like?
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: You'll bess? Yes, I need you to put your foot
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: on me at night now.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I need the reassurance of the cold foot, because if
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: it's not on me, then we're beefing. I need the moment.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Is the is the I feel her finding her way
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: through the covers, the cold feet on my thigh. We're good.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: If we ain't good, the cold feet is nowhere. There's
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: tension through the through the middle of the bed. I
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: know we're good now.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: I'm so used to sleeping with her. You couldn't You
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: couldn't imagine.
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: That's why divorce dating apps.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: If we got divorced, it's over for me. Yeah, I
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: don't even want to go into that.
• 14:02
  Speaker 6: You're just gonna be a hope for men with money.
• 14:11
  Speaker 7: Men with money do not have problems dating. That is
• 14:14
  Speaker 7: a poor man struggle. That is true, y'all would be
• 14:17
  Speaker 7: just it ain't.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: Put the idea just.
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: Money.
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: Man with money don't have that problem.
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: But I don't know.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: I don't want it so much understanding that's what it is.
• 14:40
  Speaker 6: I'm too insecure. I don't want anyone else to look
• 14:43
  Speaker 6: at me naked again. I don't want to be like
• 14:46
  Speaker 6: anybody else to start over.
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, judgment fresh.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no judgment.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: No, you don't have the memories inside jokes, no help
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: come with other you know, I uh, we.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Saw the stretch marks together. There are stretch marks.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: It's a family unit.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, this is this, there's a together.
• 15:09
  Speaker 8: Just take a while for me to get comfortable being
• 15:10
  Speaker 8: naked around someone new.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine.
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: I'm never really comfortable anyway, you'll be having.
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: Your shirt off on Instagram.
• 15:19
  Speaker 8: You look comfortable because I'm by myself. Yeah, somebody with me,
• 15:24
  Speaker 8: this shirt is on.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I be butt neckd Yeah. I love my naked body.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Ain't nothing to be proud of.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: When I get little help.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Hotel rooms, hotel room.
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: I don't know if if I've ever won closing the hotel.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Room, I'd be turned down on the stranger, strange grace.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah in Paris.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not in Paris for five years.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: You got bed, but you got bed, buddy.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: Paris on time out.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my own nigga.
• 15:58
  Speaker 8: Some people are not comfortable be naked a lot, man,
• 16:01
  Speaker 8: I'm not comfortable naked.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: Quick now, lave it up.
• 16:09
  Speaker 7: I like the air drop, yeah, the house cold on.
• 16:13
  Speaker 5: I love a good house coating.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: No, I like that. I like to drive to be so.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I like the way.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: See this is the house call.
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: Nineteen years old.
• 16:31
  Speaker 6: I feel uncomfortable house putting the house, getting dressed that
• 16:35
  Speaker 6: soon out of the shower.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: No, this is what I do. I get out the shower,
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: I drove. Now I've been doing the wet.
• 16:42
  Speaker 8: I've just been staying wet and just loafing up while
• 16:45
  Speaker 8: wet I've heard that it's better for your skin.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: I've been doing that. I do that, and then I
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: put the.
• 16:52
  Speaker 8: Underweld immediately lots in the thighs draws right on top
• 16:59
  Speaker 8: of that.
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: The drawers be getting the lotion, and I put.
• 17:06
  Speaker 8: The towel back on the rack fan on in the
• 17:09
  Speaker 8: bathroom to get the missed out, and then I started
• 17:13
  Speaker 8: getting dressed after.
• 17:16
  Speaker 6: I don't have an item of cling on for at
• 17:18
  Speaker 6: least an hour. Yeah, especially especially on the road. When
• 17:23
  Speaker 6: I'm in a hotel, I put something on YouTube watching
• 17:26
  Speaker 6: and sip of coffee.
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: I might sleep in drawings in the hotel.
• 17:32
  Speaker 8: Yeah, if I if we got the early, like three
• 17:34
  Speaker 8: am lobby, I might take a nap in the draw
• 17:39
  Speaker 8: Because I'm already packing everything packed.
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: All I gotta do is throw on my travel clothes.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: That's when I'll be like.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: What are you normally sleeping?
• 17:45
  Speaker 9: Otherwise usually like a tank top and shorts. Okay, yeah,
• 17:50
  Speaker 9: I like it, man and draw tank top that's my.
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: PJ.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, ye.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: Sometimes I might be topless. I don't know.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but usually it's hot, silly heat, just you sleeping
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: socks tony.
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: Sometimes you know that's so still. Sometimes you just cold.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: I don't have my feet don't get cold like that.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: My feet get cold.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: I got a little warm at the at the base
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: of the bed, even in socks.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: Is on my toes getting strangled down there. It's hard
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: to relax.
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: I used to be in twenty four to seven.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, choked out around the house.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: I'm a sock or a slipper guy.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: I like that. But I got the downs.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: That is nice. I like, I mean, I like socks
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: in a slide. Yeah, that's comforting right there.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: But yeah, usually, like last night, I slipp with socks on.
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: Why just I'm just used to Sometimes I sleep the
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: socks my feet. I can have cold feet.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: You know, girls, we got coldfee, cold fee. That's true.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: My wife, she she's like she sleeps cold but still
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: socks off. But she'll have like sweat she'll off sweatpants,
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: a T shirt and like a flannel on.
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: Sleeping with the full rack.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let me, she's thinned.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: I'm warming her. In the middle of the nights. They
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: wanted money.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: The vital.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Don't slip, don't go.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: In the light.
• 19:23
  Speaker 6: I know you're comed but then show it's it is
• 19:26
  Speaker 6: kind of crazy. But then a lot of time in
• 19:27
  Speaker 6: the middle night, she'll not have the blanket on. So
• 19:30
  Speaker 6: she it's more like she likes the clothes than the
• 19:33
  Speaker 6: blanket experience. Not me. I want to be freezing in
• 19:36
  Speaker 6: my underwear in my blanket, ac going cold cold.
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: Last night I did something weird.
• 19:42
  Speaker 8: I was laying down and I didn't even get under
• 19:45
  Speaker 8: the covers yet, and I went to sleep, and so
• 19:47
  Speaker 8: I slept on top of the covers and then I woke.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: Up at like five, was going on, You have no idea?
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what's happening?
• 19:56
  Speaker 7: Right?
• 19:56
  Speaker 8: Yeah, because I woke up on my own and I
• 19:58
  Speaker 8: knew I had the alarm clocks for this, and so
• 20:01
  Speaker 8: I was just like man, and then it was five.
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: Then I got into the covies.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: Right, you know, right, what what room temperature do you guys?
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: Want? Seventy so it got to be cool.
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: And then I have the fan all like cool, like.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: Seventy seventy, seventy two, seventy three for me.
• 20:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm like, look, not seventy, that's cold, that's freezing.
• 20:20
  Speaker 7: Maybe like yeah, like seventy two, seventy three, seventy four.
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: Fann at least.
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: Even the sheet.
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: I have to have something for me, So I get
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: the sheet or the blankets.
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: Okay, all right, I gotta have someone.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: I'm cold on the hotel when I'm on the road.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Sixty five, Oh my god, cold cold.
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: A man over here.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: I can't raise either, though, so I get you. Yeah,
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: I hate waking up hot.
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it has to be cool wor I'd rather
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: be cold and hot.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got the blanket.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it makes me. Blanket heals, man, it's cozy.
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: Sixty five A warm room.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: When I'm on the road. I like to bump the
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: heat up from when I get back.
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: That's another comedian recently, a hug.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: From the room. Yeah, you get in then, and then
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: it's a great switch for me. That's like seventy five
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: or sixty five nighttime.
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: That's a big hitch.
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: I'll be freezing.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: I can't pull that off at home though. The kids
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: will freeze.
• 21:21
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 21:22
  Speaker 8: Once you's live with people, they'd be like yo, because
• 21:24
  Speaker 8: it's just me and the cats. Look, man, the temperature
• 21:27
  Speaker 8: gonna be what I said. Cats, you know I'm talking
• 21:30
  Speaker 8: about you, feel me. I don't want to hit nothing
• 21:32
  Speaker 8: from y'all either.
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: Well, then that one trying to burn your house.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: Down, Oh yeah, midname man, you need to throw him
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: outside him cat.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he uh.
• 21:40
  Speaker 8: He got up on the stove and hit one of
• 21:43
  Speaker 8: the switches. So he turned the flame on and it
• 21:46
  Speaker 8: was burning the tea kettle. I come home, tea kettle
• 21:50
  Speaker 8: just lit. I'm like, when, what the hell is this?
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: Trying to kill me? Man? Literally? So now my stove.
• 21:57
  Speaker 8: Now I got like spikes over the eye and some
• 22:01
  Speaker 8: balloons over the other half.
• 22:03
  Speaker 7: Is that normal for cats or that cab accident the cats?
• 22:10
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: Or having to put all of that on the stove
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: for the cats.
• 22:13
  Speaker 8: This is the first time I've had to do battle
• 22:16
  Speaker 8: with a cat for this long over popping up on
• 22:18
  Speaker 8: the counter as the stove midnight because the other cat
• 22:22
  Speaker 8: he doesn't.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: He doesn't jump up there, like he don't get up there.
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: He don't cat. But midnight.
• 22:27
  Speaker 8: Oh, you best believe he'd be looking too, because I
• 22:30
  Speaker 8: can tell when he was about to do it, because
• 22:31
  Speaker 8: he'll be watching me in the kitchen for mad long.
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: He'd be like, yeah, as soon as you get out
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: of here, tone, I'm up there.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: It's nice that he turned the flame on. It not
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: just the gas.
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: No, it's not, man, But he was trying.
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: He turned the flame on to something that was on
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: the eye o.
• 22:48
  Speaker 8: The tea kettle was on the eye of the cocked
• 22:51
  Speaker 8: off to the side, so the flame was going burning
• 22:54
  Speaker 8: the teat.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Both are bad. What I'm saying is he could have
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: he could have killed it if just ghastly, and.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: Then I would have woke up, got a cigarette.
• 23:04
  Speaker 8: You up, But like now, I have little things on
• 23:07
  Speaker 8: the on the stove to where the little child joints
• 23:12
  Speaker 8: the way.
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: You can't just turn the stove on because I'll be
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: seeing this Paul Prince up there.
• 23:17
  Speaker 7: You if you is he an indoorcat only yeah, they don't.
• 23:22
  Speaker 7: You gotta teach him to lessen put him on the street.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: For a day.
• 23:25
  Speaker 8: But I feel even if he hit the streets, he
• 23:28
  Speaker 8: gonna it's freedom in the streets. So then he's gonna
• 23:30
  Speaker 8: come back with bad habits. You think it's gonna w Yeah,
• 23:33
  Speaker 8: like man in the street.
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: None of this.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: Your friends are bad influence everywhere.
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: I wanted to in the streets.
• 23:40
  Speaker 8: The couch is fair gay because in the streets we
• 23:43
  Speaker 8: just peeing ship wherever we want.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: You got you got cats?
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: What you got?
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: No I want?
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: I think I want a dog, the big dog will
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: a little bit.
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: I want one of the poodle mixes.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: It's done, okay, I was my agent.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: She was like, so Paris wants to show to go on.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I don't care what Paris. They're like, it's a problem
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: more globally than locally.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: Kiss get to fa Yeah, get to fake.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Listen, nobody wants to do this, I said, Tony Baker
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: don't want to do it.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he said, Tony wants to cancel.
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: I want to do it. I want to do.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Anything.
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: Parents never had me again.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: Were in there together though. I was like, listen, nobody
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: wants to do it. The audience doesn't want to do it.
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: That's a long trip to not to feel.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: The train.
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: Once I saw the train, I was excited about that Paris.
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: I want to go to Paris.
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: It was I've never been there. I was super and
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: I was going to get a train ride. I was
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: super excited. I got to cancel.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we got to do a lot of stuff. Let's
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: just stop the episode. You got to do so much crap.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: I love y'all. Will be back three weeks with this group.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Bye yea.
• 25:09
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna get the small dogs, maybe like a twenty
• 25:11
  Speaker 7: twenty something pounds. Want a poodle mix?
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: Get you a Manti size man.
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: He's a little bigger than him. Well, how big is man?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: How about that?
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: I won't like, wait on bigger than that's about that, about.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Twenty five pounds a little.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: It's just because he was humping talking, he'd be humping me. Man,
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: really don't have nobody else but Tony Baker Coochie.
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: Looking right looking at me and we're inclusive. Is he
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: does he like he like guys? Does he like guys?
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: He never helped nobody else regardless. Maybe it's the cat
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: smell on you. You could be that he'd be like, man,
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: you got some something, know what?
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: He'd be looking at me.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: But you haven't seen him since he got I've seen.
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: Him once since he got and he wasn't knowing me.
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah he's maybe not.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and got the dog, he got his bass taking
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: he came home and he looked at me like you
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: so personal between he had the cone on.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: He was just like you left me, yeah, man, saying
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: I thought we were friends.
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: Bro, I got nothing ball.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: The sack is still there. There's just nothing in the sack.
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: But somebody doing that to you.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they just and then you got to get smaller eventually,
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: and he still live with them. They bring you back
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: home like you didn't they didn't.
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: Life, like come live, Yeah, I take you somewhere, they
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: take your ball. Yeah, and then you go home.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: And then like like what you know? I thought we
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: were friends, prisoner and also you have to and then
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: he was trying to get to the this is this
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: is saw, this is like now I'm like being tortured
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: by you.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Because he came back he had no energy.
• 26:56
  Speaker 11: He was like yeah, yeah, he's trying to figure out
• 27:01
  Speaker 11: what he lives for now. Can't do it, man, You
• 27:08
  Speaker 11: can't do it with dogs.
• 27:09
  Speaker 6: You don't have them, never will get there's there. I
• 27:12
  Speaker 6: don't want to be that sad when they die.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: I've been thinking about that. Yeah, it's way too early
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: for that.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: You got to choose.
• 27:18
  Speaker 6: There's got somebody needs to make a chart of like
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: pet analysis of like the factors are, like how much
• 27:25
  Speaker 6: work they are and how sad are you going to
• 27:27
  Speaker 6: be when they die?
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Those are yeah, because dog that's why dog is. Dog
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: is lose, lose a lot of work and super sad
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: when they die. Cats less work, less sad when they die.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, yours is a lot of work. You're just
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: trying to burn your house down, just put midnight out.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: It's like the Tim Tebow's dog died and he put
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: it on TikTok when he was at the thet.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah it was hard break. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, heart,
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: that's what getting the dog is. You're like, I'm gonna
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: be real sad and like fifteen doing this.
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah you know you know that pet is not going
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: to outlive you. I literally this is terribly doing this.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Breed is like usually fifteen years based on the kids.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Right, So on his second birthday, I was just like thirteen, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: because I'm gonna be and he pisses me off.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he pissed me off, but I love the dog.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: But when he when he had apparently people don't go
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: in there with him on the last day. They just
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: let him just walk away.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: I do it together, man, Man, I can't just leave
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: you out after everything we've been through.
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: Man, you got in with him, you gotta. Yeah, he
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: put his par dog.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: I was watching the TikTok one time and I didn't
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: realize what was happening.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: She was putting her dog down. But there's no caption.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: She had a big old rod, huge head and she's
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: just holding the dog and then his head was just
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: like and I was like, what is our watching?
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: She was we put down boser.
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: And I was like what.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: I wasn't ready for that?
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: I was not. Yeah, dude, the internet is wow, especially
• 29:11
  Speaker 6: TikTok when you like you'll just be like laughing at
• 29:13
  Speaker 6: a stand up bit and then that will hit you.
• 29:16
  Speaker 6: It's the next and then somebody's falling down, and then
• 29:18
  Speaker 6: like and they're like deaf kid, here's his mom's voice
• 29:21
  Speaker 6: for the first time.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: Cheeze man. Yeah.
• 29:34
  Speaker 6: And then this kid sees for the first military comes home,
• 29:39
  Speaker 6: sees his brother and this wedding cheese man, what in the.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: World take the mask?
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 29:52
  Speaker 6: And then and then and then the next one is
• 29:54
  Speaker 6: like which bottle will break going down the stairs?
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: What the zodiac saying? It's on each bottom. I'd be like,
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: tourists better represent gotta be waiting.
• 30:07
  Speaker 8: Yeah, Oh that's wild because as much as midnight get
• 30:12
  Speaker 8: on my dad, if he died, I'm out of here.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: The military husband he comes home and see his wife
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: the first time.
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: I thought.
• 30:30
  Speaker 8: That one video where the kids stuttered and then the
• 30:33
  Speaker 8: teacher he gave the teacher to shout out for getting
• 30:36
  Speaker 8: rid of his study.
• 30:37
  Speaker 10: I was just like, yeah, he was saying his name,
• 30:40
  Speaker 10: my name is Michael krisch Low and then they yeah,
• 30:45
  Speaker 10: and the teacher was like take your time, yeah, take.
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: It, take it. Let's take your time, and instance, man,
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: I was like, you did.
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: It just makes me cry regularly pretty often.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: It is crazy just trying to chill.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, naked in a naked in a hotel room, scrolling.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: To get closed on to get the room service, and do.
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: You take them right back off once it comes coming?
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: You ever throw the robot and that.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: That's a little too dangerous to himself. Can't do it?
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: The door cut.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you have reached le forget naked, but I've done it.
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: You rather, I'd rather.
• 31:47
  Speaker 6: I'd rather have it if it's not too hot spill
• 31:49
  Speaker 6: on me, then my clothes on the road because I
• 31:52
  Speaker 6: can go clean that off with juicy mm hmm. The record,
• 31:56
  Speaker 6: I love my cats. By the way I saw the comments,
• 31:58
  Speaker 6: I'll be really sad when my cat ats go. But
• 32:01
  Speaker 6: a dog there's so much more personality.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: It depends on depends on the cat, because either way,
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: dogg and cats are real sad. But like you lose
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: a turtle, like just.
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: We live for a lot.
• 32:16
  Speaker 12: Like we have tortoises you, we have a bunch of
• 32:19
  Speaker 12: put it down. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't leave you alone.
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: Manie Les crazy man for a year.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: He's gonna adopt another human.
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: He's gonna he's gonna get another
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah all right, man, turn this off from here.