Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Set Expectations With Their First Direct Report
Transcript
- Lucas: So you get promoted to manager for the first time. You have a single direct report — someone who has been at the company for years, knows the product inside out, and frankly, probably knows more about the codebase than you do. Luna: That is a terrifying and very common scenario. What do you do on day one? Lucas: You set expectations. But not in a dictatorial way. You have a series of structured conversations that clarify roles, decision rights, and how you'll work together. And I think most new managers skip this part because it feels awkward or presumptuous. Luna: Right — like you're the new boss, but you don't want to step on toes, especially if that person was a peer or a senior contributor. Lucas: Exactly. And that awkwardness is exactly why you need a framework. If we've helped you think through a career move or a management challenge, we want to keep these conversations going without ads. We deliberately don't run ads on these shows. If you want to support that choice, the link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. And now, back to Priya — that's the name I'll use for our new manager — who is about to have her first one-on-one with Marcus, her new direct report. Luna: Good. So what's the first conversation Priya should have? Lucas: The first one is about her role. Not what she wants it to be, but literally: what is her job? She needs to say, 'My job is to make sure you have what you need to do your best work, to remove blockers, and to connect our team's work to the company's priorities. I am not here to tell you how to write code.' That explicit framing reduces anxiety immediately. Luna: So it's about service, not authority. But doesn't that undermine her authority if Marcus thinks she's just a helper? Lucas: It's a balance. She also needs to establish that she has decision rights on certain things — like which projects the team prioritises, how headcount is allocated, and how performance is evaluated. Those are non-negotiable. But she can be transparent about it. Luna: So the second conversation is about decision rights. What does that look like in practice? Lucas: She should say something like: 'For technical architecture decisions, I trust your judgment. For project scope and timeline, I want to be looped in before you commit. For budget or hiring, I'll make the final call. But I'll explain my reasoning.' That way Marcus knows where he has autonomy and where he needs to collaborate. Luna: I like that. It's like giving him a map of the decision landscape. Lucas: Exactly. Now third conversation: communication rhythms. How often do they meet? What's the agenda? How does Marcus escalate a problem? Priya might say, 'We'll have a thirty-minute one-on-one every Monday. You drive the agenda. If something urgent comes up, Slack me and I'll respond within two hours during work hours.' That eliminates ambiguity. Luna: And the fourth conversation? Lucas: Success metrics. What does good look like? Not just in terms of output, but also behaviour. Priya could say, 'I expect you to ship two features per quarter, but also to mentor the junior developer. And I expect you to flag risks early, even if it delays a project.' If Marcus disagrees, they negotiate. But at least it's explicit. Luna: So Priya has four conversations: role, decision rights, communication rhythms, and success metrics. That's a lot for a first week. Lucas: It is. But she doesn't have to cram them into one meeting. Spread them over the first two weeks. And here's a practical tip: write them down. Create a one-page document titled 'How We Work Together.' Share it with Marcus before the conversation. That way he can prepare his own thoughts, and the conversation becomes a negotiation rather than a lecture. Luna: I love that. It signals that you respect his input. But what if Marcus pushes back? Like, 'I've been here six years, I don't need a document.' Lucas: That's a test. And Priya should handle it with curiosity. She can say, 'That's fair. What has worked well for you in the past? I want to build on that. But I also need a way to get up to speed quickly, and this document helps me. Would you be willing to try it for 30 days and then revisit?' That shows flexibility without ceding her role. Luna: So she's setting expectations while also showing she's coachable. That's a delicate balance. Lucas: It is. And it gets easier the more you do it. The key is to frame expectations as a tool for autonomy — not a leash. When Marcus knows exactly what decisions he can make alone, he'll move faster and feel more empowered. Luna: So what happens if Priya fails to set these expectations? What's the downside? Lucas: She'll end up micromanaging or being micromanaged by Marcus. Without clarity, Marcus might assume he can make hiring decisions or change project scope. Priya then has to overcorrect, which creates resentment. Or she might avoid giving feedback because she never defined what good looks like. Then performance reviews become a surprise. Luna: That sounds like a mess. So the framework prevents that. Lucas: Exactly. And it's not just for the first direct report. I've seen managers use this same 'How We Work Together' document with entire teams. It scales. Luna: One thing I'm curious about: what if Marcus is more experienced than Priya? Does that change the dynamic? Lucas: It does, but the framework still works. Priya might lean more on Marcus for technical guidance. She can say, 'I'm new to management, and you're the expert on the system. I'll rely on you for technical decisions, but I need to own the prioritisation. Does that work for you?' That humility actually builds trust. Luna: So she's not pretending to know everything. That's refreshing. Lucas: Right. And Marcus is more likely to respect her if she's honest about what she doesn't know. The danger is when a new manager tries to fake expertise. That erodes trust fast. Luna: Let's talk about the first one-on-one. What should Priya actually do in that first meeting? Lucas: She should start with a personal connection. Ask Marcus about his career, what he enjoys about the work, what frustrates him. Then she shares her own background and why she took the manager role. Then she introduces the 'How We Work Together' document as a draft for discussion. And she ends by asking, 'What do you need from me to be successful?' That last question is powerful because it flips the focus to support. Luna: So the first meeting is about building rapport and setting the stage, not nailing down every detail. Lucas: Exactly. The details come in subsequent conversations. But the tone is set in that first meeting. If Priya is open, curious, and structured, Marcus will feel safe and aligned. Luna: I'm thinking about a situation where Marcus might resist the document because he feels it's bureaucratic. How does Priya handle that? Lucas: She can say, 'I hear you. My goal is not to add process for its own sake. The document is a living thing — we can change it. But I've seen that without it, we end up with misunderstandings. Let's try it for a month and then decide if it's working.' That gives Marcus a sense of control. Luna: So it's a trial, not a permanent decree. Lucas: Exactly. And after 30 days, they revisit. Maybe Marcus wants to tweak the decision rights. Maybe he wants to change the meeting cadence. That's fine. The document evolves. Luna: One more thing: what about setting expectations around feedback? That's a big one for new managers. Lucas: Great point. Priya should add a section on feedback. She can say, 'I will give you feedback directly and promptly, and I expect the same from you. If I do something that bothers you, tell me. We'll treat feedback as a gift, not a criticism.' That creates a culture of candour from day one. Luna: And if Marcus is not used to that? Lucas: Then Priya leads by example. She thanks him when he gives feedback, even if it's hard to hear. Over time, it becomes normal. Luna: So the takeaway for any new manager listening: your first direct report is not just a person to manage — they're a partnership you need to design. Lucas: Exactly. And the design starts with a simple set of expectations. Role, decision rights, communication rhythms, success metrics, and feedback. Write it down. Share it. Revisit it. That's the framework. Luna: Thanks, Lucas. And to our listeners: if you've used a similar approach or have a story about setting expectations with a first direct report, we'd love to hear it. Lucas: Absolutely. And if you found this episode useful, consider supporting the show at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It keeps these conversations ad-free. Thanks for listening.