Latest / The Letterbox Podcast / Dear Husband | Letter 3: A Family’s NICU story

Transcript

Dear Husband | Letter 3: A Family’s NICU story · The Letterbox Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello and welcome back to the Letterbox broadcast, the place
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  where real people write the letters that they've written
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  about the things that mean the most to them.
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  Wherever it is that you are today.
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  Thank you so much for joining us for the third letter in our
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  seven day miniseries for Niku Awareness Month.
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  If you are just joining us for the first time today, I'd really
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  encourage you to go back and listen to the first two of
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  Catherine's letters. Together they begin to tell a
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  story that is impossible to capture in just one letter.
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  Today's is to the person who was beside Catherine throughout all
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  of it, her husband. Before I press play on Catherine
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  reading this very personal love letter to her husband, I would
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  just like to ask a favour of you and that is to press the follow
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  button wherever it is you are listening today.
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  It's the best way that you can support the broadcast and it
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  will help Catherine's letters reach as many people as
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  possible. But for now, make yourself comfy
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  and let's listen to Catherine's letter to her husband.
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  Dear husband, when we married we were 3010 years in university,
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  first homes, postgraduate degrees, doctorate's jobs, all
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  done together and life was good. Then eventually we had our
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  children and it was a whirlwind wasn't it that first one?
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  What a wonderful boy. But my God, how he rocked our
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  world. So when she came along, our
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  beautiful, tenacious, wonderful girl, even with all her
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  challenges and difficulties, we did it, didn't we?
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  Because we knew what to do. We'd done this before and we
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  knew that any mistakes would probably be OK because we were
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  raising such a fantastic boy. So we couldn't have got it that
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  wrong. I didn't know our vows would
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  mean in sickness and in health of our children.
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  It's not what you prepare for. And I can't really say this out
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  loud because it breaks me. It's not what those vows are
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  meant to mean. It's hard enough to imagine in
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  sickness and in health for each other, but when it's your tiny
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  babies, the little people you made together, the people you
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  would do absolutely anything to protect, hearts break harder.
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  I couldn't have done this with anybody else.
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  And for all the arguments about the washing and whose turn it is
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  and the state of the house and who should be playing with which
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  child and what needs doing when, I wouldn't have picked it any
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  other way. Because we didn't argue through
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  this, did we? We became a team in a way I
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  don't think either of us could have imagined.
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  I felt so united with you, so held, so supported.
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  I'm glad I'm saying this letter before I write it down, because
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  if I wrote it first, the ink would be falling and spilling
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  everywhere. There would be tears all over
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  the page. Because we don't have much time
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  with these two little crazy people to sit down and say these
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  things to each other, do we? But you deserve to know.
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  Thank you for making those vows, and for sticking so honourably
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  to them when they became something neither of us had ever
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  expected or banked upon. Thank you for being an
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  unwavering support for our boy, for me, for her.
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  Thank you for loving our children so fiercely and for
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  loving me. There were times when I saw you
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  so sad, so nearly broken, and I'm sorry for that.
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  I'm sorry that this happened to you too, because sometimes in
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  the middle of everything, it was easy to forget that you were
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  frightened too. That you were watching your baby
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  go through something terrible, that you were trying to be
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  strong for all of us. And I know there's pain
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  underneath this for us, and I know that there are memories and
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  things we've seen that will stay with us forever.
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  I know it's changed us. But even with all of that, I
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  think we're so lucky. Our children are so beautiful,
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  and I'm so grateful for you for making them with me.
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  And then somehow we started talking about another child,
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  crazy, another little person to come and make this crazy house
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  even louder, even more chaotic, even more overstimulating.
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  And I think that tells me something.
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  After everything we've seen, we haven't become afraid of love.
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  If anything, we've become more certain of it.
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  I suppose we're not out the other side, not really.
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  Maybe we're just in a quieter part of this storm.
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  But whatever comes next, I want to face it with you.
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  Because I love you. And the fact that after
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  everything, we can still imagine another little person joining
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  this family tells me how loving you are.
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  It confirms it. My goodness, what a lucky family
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  we are to hold. So much love.
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  I just don't know how I could have done this without you.
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  Thank you for holding me through all of it.
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  Thank you, husband. Thank you so much, Catherine,
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  for such a beautiful, beautiful letter.
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  It feels very special to hear somebody talking about their
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  relationship and talking about the love and strength within it
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  because there is no doubt that there were incredibly
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  challenging times. So the fact that you were able
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  to find such love and teamwork throughout it is incredibly
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  special. And your children are very lucky
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  that their parents love each other so much.
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  So thank you again for reading so beautifully.
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  Such a special, special part of your journey for us today.
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  Like I said earlier, if you haven't already listened to the
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  1st 2 letters, please do go back and listen to them.
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  They're all part of the same story and each letter reveals
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  another piece of what this family lived through.
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  And there are still 4 letters to come, so please do follow the
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  letterbox forecast wherever you are listening so you don't miss
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  tomorrow's letter. And join me again as Catherine
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  continues her story. Her social media is tagged in
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  the show notes, so please do go and check out her page.
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  Until tomorrow, all my love Lucy.