Latest / Jess Ask / Unlocking Your Emotional Intelligence: A Journey to Self-Discovery | S3E7

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Unlocking Your Emotional Intelligence: A Journey to Self-Discovery | S3E7 · Jess Ask

0:06
Hey, it's your girl, Jess. You've just entered a safe space for
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Kingdom entrepreneurs and creatives to decompress, have fun, and yeah, you've guessed
0:16
it a safe place to just ask before we get into it, be sure
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to subscribe and download the podcast, follow me on all platforms at the Jessica
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S. Smith and invital friend. Also make sure you d m me your
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feedback and questions so we can keep the conversation going. Now, let's get
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into this week's episode. I see seven eight elms in my bank account,
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y'all in my banker in in my bank account? Yeah, in my yams?
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Can I get to that cabs? Sweet cab? Sure me? Word?
1:00
Hey, that's what Coach j D did show what me the way?
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Hey? Because I got bused, got bills to pay your arms? Sweet?
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Is the MS a bad? Well, yams? From my understanding is
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it is money, but yims is something else. I think too, like
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wink wink, Oh that's what I haven't heard. I don't know, I
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don't know, but that's what the folks on seat top and you don't stop
1:47
said. Yeah, so I you know, you know they'd be like,
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oh, don't be in the world. Nah, I didn't even know,
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because you know, somebody might come up to your girl and be like,
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can I get to the yams and like we're talking about money right listen,
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let's make it. Can we get some click? Mean? What does?
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What? Does? What? Does? Get to the yems? Mean?
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Somebody gotta tell us because me, me, and does a rate? Curious?
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Curious churris, what's up? Y'all? Welcome to just ask the podcast.
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It's your girl, Just Smith and I got my girl DESI ray what
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y'all y'all? We are super excited. We create a safe space for Kingdom
2:35
entrepreneurs to decompress, have fun and get real. You know what I'm saying,
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Like we're just asking these parts. Does a ray does a rate?
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Does a rate? Doesn't, doesn't doesn't doesn't doesn't rate, y'all? I
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love I love you girl, y'all, y'all. I brought the woman to
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God Black Hose today. She she ad like she was gonna cry. I
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thought she was gonna cry, but she ain't cry. She's not the way.
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You're not emotional. I'm the emotional one. I'm not. Why well
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maybe maybe and let's you know what, I kind of like just kind of
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I don't know triggered myself with saying I'm emotional. I don't know why I
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have a problem. I do know why I have a problem with the emotion,
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no part. But I don't think being emotional or being in tune with
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your emotions is a problem. It becomes a problem when you allow your emotions
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to dictate your choices. Mm hmm. You know, I'm actually cried a
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lot this week, MP. You want to talk about it? Yeah,
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it was because I realized there was some talking to my therapist this week.
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Therapy is good Jesus in therapy talking to my therapistess. I knew it was
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coming time to have certain conversations about some things that had happened in my past,
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Like I'm talking about like twenty nineteen, and I realized I hadn't it
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was a loss, and I realized that I hadn't really like grieved the loss
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right, And so it was almost kind of like talking about it really just
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kind of gave me permission to allow the emotions to come and be okay with
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them, you know, not like it was. It was. It was
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really interesting because there were moments that so we talked on Wednesday, so there
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was moments between Wednesday and probably Friday that I just randomly cried driving or whatever.
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It was, not like in a hysterical kind of way. It's just
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just a moment to just be able to release whatever that emotion was. You
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know, what do you think limits your permission to cry? You know?
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I think we just get, we become, we built, We learned to
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survive, you know. And I just realized twenty nineteen for me was harder
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than going through COVID honestly, like emotionally, just because of you know,
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some of the things that had transpired. And I think I just learned to
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push you to the side and keep going. So I think that is a
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place where I'm at so unlike you. My family, they have the gift
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of crime, the gift of gift, the anointing of tears is on the
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Smith family bloodline. Okay, we get it from my grand daddy. My
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granddaddy probably got it from his daddy and I ain't ever met him. So
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my granddaddy cried with the best of them. Okay, hard working man,
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but he will if you say the name Jesus, tears start flowing from his
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eyes like that. That's how sensitive flipp it was, and my entire family
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on the Smith's side, they are criers like my mama's side. Oh they
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gees like they yeah, you said that. I was just like, I
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don't never really remember seeing my mother cry. Yeah, yeah, like it's
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my I've seen my mom cry, but I could probably count on one hand.
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I've probably count. But my daddy something about the name. When I
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tell you them smells know how to cry with the best of them. But
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I think the balance of understanding the necessary times for emotions to appear. And
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I think that I was telling you probably a couple of weeks ago, and
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I told Tanya this. Shout out to Tanya renay Shaw. She already know
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that's my accountability partner. I was telling Tanya that I have an opportunity to
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be more vulnerable, and I think I limit my vulnerability because people have received
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my emotion as weakness versus vulnerability, and so I've learned not to be vulnerable
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with people. And so even in that sense of when you were talking,
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I think that we have to find a healthy place because going on either end
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of the spectrum, right, if I don't release, it becomes anger,
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and we don't want tears to form in another harsh emotion because it just creates
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a wall versus healthy boundaries. Right. I think emotions are indicators of things
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and responses that we should have of in our lives. Like, I think
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emotions are very healthy, and sometimes we as people discredit people that are showing
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emotions and that are being you know, expressive. You want me to okay,
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just a little, just a little bit, you know, I was,
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I've been practiced. I've been listening to my podcast and difference when you're
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back, when you'reright. Yeah, And so I'm practicing, y'all. I'm
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trying to get the woman God that I have to correct me. But it's
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okay. I appreciate great doing it. It's learning process. It's good you
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know where you know, like me and your hand talking and emotional talking.
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Yeah, let me just scoot. It's a little closer so y'all can continuously
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hear me. It's so, y'all, y'all pray for me and my my
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radious points for But I'm like, but yeah, I think emotions are we
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have to especially as a black community man being African American, I think we've
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learned to suppress so much that it's unhealthy. Yeah, I think it's it's
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like you said, it's on the either end of the spectrum, Like we
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don't know how to like emotional I guess the word is emotional intelligence, right.
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So crying it's not bad. But when when crying leads to like hysterical
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and the behavior with it is kind of out of pocket, you know what
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I'm saying. I think that's an issue as well as when you just suppress
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it and then you explode, you know what I'm saying. So, like
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crying is not bad, Crying is actually a good release, right, But
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it's knowing what to do with It's like, Okay, I'm crying, but
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I ain't gonna go be crying and like you know, throwing lamps and you
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know, throwing myself into walls and you know, things of that nature and
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stuff like that, you know, versus like, Hey, I was literally
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driving I was crying. I was like, who okay, I'm just gonna
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cry. And then when I felt better, I patted up my little tears
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and I was like, Oho, okay, thank you lord. I was
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feeling. I was literally it was like I'd be talking mean the home spirit
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were talking. I was like I was literally feeling you know, a sense
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of sadness. Okay, I was just feeling a little sad and I was
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just like, Lord, here you go. And that's that is the appropriate
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response, right. And so emotionally, emotional intelligence also creates are like awareness
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because due to your response to you being emotional, right, and so even
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when you were talking, like even when people think about being hysterical, even
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when people think about when you when like, let's say that person that is
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crying and really hysterical and can't really maintain it. There for one, Parentally,
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when you think, when you think about your upbringing, right, your
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parents teach you what to do with your emotions. Right. So there are
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four different types of parenting styles that I'm not trying to go through right now.
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However, those parenting styles contribute to the ability to maintain or manage the
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emotions. And so it's important for us parents out there, which I'm a
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dog parent, because a more know how to control her emotions or what I
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tell more, stop barking that she's tripping. You know, she stopped barking,
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like you. If I can train a dog on her emotions and her
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responses, we can train other humans how to do that. Right, And
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so I think it's a it's a training as an opportunity for us to train
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people, for one to say, it's okay to feel the way you feel.
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Give me permission. That's so good. Give me the permission to feel
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what I feel, and teach me the tools to use to connect my feelings
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to words, because sometimes we we will manipulate certain things when it's not that
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right. So if I've learned how to cry about a situation so many times,
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then when I cry, sometimes it becomes a manipulation. That's what a
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frustration for some people call come in because it becomes the woe is me factor,
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right versus, Hey, I'm crying about this thing. I need to
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decompress and figure this out. And that's a part of therapy too, Like
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professionals really are trained to help maneuver through those emotions without becoming so emotional.
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Right, they're able to take in Hey, well they're supposed to because that
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AC eight Code of Ethics. Certain certain certain one of the certain certain codes
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are like, hey, get it together, it's so many keep keep it
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together, get it together and keep it together. Okay, check yourself,
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Go get your therapist so you can decompress in there when you done. Therapist
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folks, other folks listen, So just pray for pray for whoever the Lord
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connects you to. But in a sense where there they are trained to guide
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you through why what are the triggers and the and the core of your response?
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Right? And so the reason why I have you know, I remember
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just being so open and vulnerable at a point in my life, right,
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and then it stopped. It stopped, and it really stopped in this place
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where I was in love and I was but I will in love. I
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will in love for about telling you that was my man, that was my
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man. It was so it was so dysfunctional. It was good at first,
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but then it became very dysfunctional and child I learned because I experienced things
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in that relationship that probably would have got him hurt if I would have exposed.
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So I learned how to keep secrets to protect everybody involved. Okay,
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oh, this is getting real. I learned how to keep secrets because I
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thought that was love, right, and so not feeling safe to expose,
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but also feeling like I needed to protect taught me to be quiet and be
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like okay, suffering silence and then pretend to be okay. Like I told
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coach the other day, I was like, oh, I know how to
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say, oh, yeah, I'm great, oh the pitch in everything,
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Like, I know how to be like, oh yea, I'm great,
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I'm good. Yeah, I'm good, everything is okay. No, I
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think that's normal. I was. I was telling somebody the other day that
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because people at like I've been seeing clients that I hadn't really seen maybe in
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the last year or so as I've opened up a couple more days in the
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salon, and so they ask me, hey, dad's how you doing?
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What's going on? And I'll be like, I'm good, you know,
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because that's our that's our normal reflective type of response, right. But then
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I literally do take a second just to evaluate that if if that's my truth
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or not, Like am I really good or am I just saying that because
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that's the cliche thing to say, And and I actually like I really am,
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like regard like, I just know the season that I'm in, so
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I know certain things are necessary for the process. You know, certain lessons,
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certain test things and things of that nature are are necessary for the process.
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So I'm not like in an off guard when things happen, I'm not
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it. Don't catch me on guard in the season, don't make it.
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Don't mean it's it's easy to deal with, you know what I'm saying.
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But I'm just not surprised. But I'm just really good, Like that's my
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that's my truth, Like I really am good. But I think even with
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you saying that, because we lie about it so much when we are actually
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good, sometimes we can feel guilty for being good, being good, especially
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when you know other people going through. Oh my god, I I realized.
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I'm like, man, like when I see somebody else going through or
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let's say, even if I'm I'm, oh, this is so good,
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even I try to trauma compare right, and like that is so unhealthy because
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the process that God has taking me through and the process and I don't only
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say taking me through, like allowing me to go through like my story,
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I'm comparing it to somebody that's going through something so different. And it's like
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sometimes we get in a conversation like, well, you know I'm suffering going
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through my daddy got counselor my dada da da da, And then next persons
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like you know, you know, you know, my my auntie just died,
17:02
Like it's so real, like real, I have trauma comparison conversations like
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Okay, let me out traumatize your trauma. Yeah, but everybody's journey and
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their processes is so different. That was me at the top of the year,
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because for me, the top of the year was me attesting my finances.
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Right, So it was literally like the Lord was really he was like,
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you're gonna you're gonna trust me? Nah, right, Well, that's
17:36
the finance. That's that's money, right with somebody else who may have been
17:38
dealing with, you know, sickness or dealing with you know, wayward children
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and something like that. So when my mind, I'm like, well,
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dang, it's just it's just like it's just money, you know what I'm
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saying. So it's night. So I got a confession for you on it.
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So watch this. So y'all, y'all finna getting obvious. It's a
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little bit. So I had a conversation with Desert and we've been on the
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behind the scenes talking about me becoming more disciplined with my finances. Now.
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Now, one thing I'm not gonna do is I'm not tied. Okay,
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that's a non negotiable for me. I am going to tie. You don't
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know what tithing is. It's given your ten percent, sowing your ten percent
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giving it back to God. Normally it's to a church. Right. I
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believe in just being obedient to what God is telling you to do. So
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if it's an organization that you are sowing your tithe to, God is telling
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you be on being with that, that is you and God's business. It
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can't nobody tell you. Nobody's about to tell me to do that, right,
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but it says bring it to the storehouse. The storehouse is and while
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Burningham eighteen hundred, John Rogers drive one pm cent your standard time. Pastor
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Geno and Kareem Gardner are my leaders. Shameless plug. Okay, come on.
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So that's my storehouse. And so whatever the storehouse is for you,
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that ten percent of what your income is should go to that. Right.
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That is how we build the communities. That's how we handle the business of
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the church. Everything ain't spiritual about church. People. People want resources from
19:12
church, but they don't want to sew into the resources. They want to
19:17
give. They want to They want to receive all the time, but want
19:21
to You want to receive so much that you make the church broke like that.
19:23
That's just not God has given pastors business sense, okay, the ability
19:29
to do business. I didn't realize that until you know, actually being a
19:33
leader in the church, how much I knew it was a business because I
19:37
was a peak. I'm a pk if y'all didn't know. But actually understanding
19:41
the business of the church. Like we be so hyper spiritual sometimes that we
19:45
don't understand that, you know what I'm saying, that's a natural part to
19:49
making sure that the church. That's why I admire Mike Todd so much.
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Pastor Mike Todd, like he didn't got real estate for the church. He
19:59
didn't let the church and to so many opportunities to where people judge him.
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But the church is thriving and don't have to worry about funds and can give
20:07
can give millions away because he's not just about the spirit of the church.
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Kingdom, the king that's that's that is what it is. But anyway,
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that was a that was a whole rank. Back to the story. Well,
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child, so we're working on the discipline and so when you introduce the
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the the the season that you were in at the beginning of the year,
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I felt guilty because I said God, she she managed well, but you're
20:41
still trying her. And I'm I got I'm in a place where I can
20:49
thrive financially with where I am, and I'm not managing will and so I
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felt guilty. Now God has placed me in a position where it's like,
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that's not an excuse. That can't be an excuse anymore, like real talk
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like you. And this is connected to this is connected to emotionally intelligence because
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when you allow your emotions to drive you, it's driving your finances, it's
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driving your choices of your health. So it's when I'm stressed out or I'm
21:37
eating or I'm the healthiest. I had a fudge around on the way here,
21:45
apologize or I'm apologize. I told that fudge around. Okay, I
21:53
had a star crunch yesterday. That'd be be getting me in trouble. She
21:59
ain't a little to me. She's big big Debbie, big big big debby.
22:04
What's heading in big but dabby beginning me in trouble? From zebra cakes
22:11
to the little chocolate donuts that comes like sex in the pack like one O
22:15
nine plus text like that said, my mouth is watering right now. I
22:19
just I just saw a picture of the powdered donuts. The powder donuts make
22:23
your mouth dry. Water, yeah, like it makes it makes me mouth
22:27
dry. But they got like cinnamon, and we're gonna get out this subject.
22:32
Oh my gosh, they got cinnamon donuts now, damn the I haven't
22:44
tried them, but I really like cinnamon donuts from local donut shops because they
22:49
may be killing. Okay, y'all, we are not trying to pull up
22:53
the debby Kates, but just weakness. Oh shameless plug the Christmas trees.
23:03
The Christmas trees, no, like they my family, between my bonus mom
23:10
and my sister, they get they personally. I don't have to buy them.
23:14
They buy them for me. It's like a tradition, like get Jessica
23:18
her Christmas trees because for one, they sell out quick like they don't produce
23:22
a lot of them anymore. So if y'all would like to send me Christmas
23:25
trees, just Christmas tree cakes, just send them to Desireate Daniel's studio.
23:33
I'm not giving all my others and just address them to just just send them
23:37
to out she will. Yeah, we'll split down, We'll split them together,
23:45
taking a commission aft the top. Yeah yeah, I felt so guilty
23:52
about having plenty but not managing. It's almost like the the the parable about
24:02
the talents, where God gave everybody a talent, and I think it's even
24:07
in reverse, like I got the talents, but I'm not managing the talents
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will. But this is the thing, just so you know, sometimes we
24:18
can look at a thing on the outside and not really see what's going on
24:22
behind the scenes. Right, So I may have managed well, but the
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mindset that I had was idolatry. It was it was idolatry, and it
24:33
was pride to be honest, That's what it was. I was. I
24:38
had prided myself on being good. I'm good. I ain't got to depend
24:44
on nobody. I'm gonna come in here, I'm gonna do these heads.
24:48
My bills is paid. I'm good. Wow, I'm good. So I
24:53
can't say I'm just I'm grateful that God's grace has been on my life,
24:57
you know, since I've been in an full time entrepreneurs is twenty fifteen.
25:02
But I can't say that. I was like, hey, God, I
25:03
got this idea, what do you think about it? It was like,
25:06
yeah, no, these bills gotta be paid, and so we just gonna
25:08
go do X, Y and Z do you gonna bless it? Okay,
25:14
that's great, thank you so much. And I'm just going I had to
25:18
pay the bills, right, that's my mindset because that's what I saw.
25:19
Saw my mama work from son up to sundown, and I'm like to make
25:22
sure I'm good because I don't depend on how she did her She did really
25:26
good, like she you know, she did a thing I wasn't asking my
25:29
daddy just because I just wanted me to do that, Okay, And so
25:34
I was good. But where's God in that? Right? And so much
25:40
soul? God used the one thing that I said I wasn't gonna do to
25:45
do to do it right. He's so pretty much. I stepped back from
25:48
doing hair full time and I was literally depending on the Lord, okay.
25:57
And it wasn't that I couldn't make the money. That was the part,
26:00
right. It wasn't that I couldn't make the money. It was that I
26:02
was literally being obedient in the season. And the one thing I said I
26:04
wasn't gonna do, I win't gonna ask my daddy for no money. And
26:07
what the Holy Spirit tell me to do one time gonna ask my daddy for
26:10
some money. I said, nah, bruh, I'm good. And then
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I literally jumped on two prayer calls and they was talking about healing, and
26:15
so he used that thing to kind of start ripping this band aid off of
26:21
some things that was in my heart that just can't go with me in this
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next season. That's why I said, I understand what he's doing this year.
26:26
In this season. It don't feel good, but I know it's it's
26:30
necessary. So it looked like I was good cause I was good. But
26:33
the things that God looked at the heart and he was like, yeah,
26:34
well I'm taking you. You gonna have to shift all that mm that that
26:40
that can't go with you because I'm trying to trust you with more. Y
26:44
girl, I wanna trust you with more, but that that pride thing right
26:48
there, though, that's gonna pum like when God tries to trust you with
26:53
more and you just us this is what I just heard you tell you.
26:56
So yeah, I might not be managing, but my heart is in the
27:00
right pasture as far as like my relationship or ideal money, like the one
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thing that my dad and living with my father shout out to my daddy.
27:11
I love you, daddy. I love That almost made me grind. But
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the one thing I learned about my dad. From my dad is that we
27:22
don't depend on the coin. Come on, baby, we baby. It
27:26
was it was time. I remember going from uh having name brand cereal to
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not having name brand cereal and then recognize only recognizing again when we did,
27:44
we're able to get the name brand cereal again. Like that's big, that's
27:48
major. That's a two dollars sometimes a two dollar different nowadays, but maybe
27:52
it was a few cents different. Yeah, but that's like we I won't
27:56
say it was Penny pitching, but he was. Now that's somebody that managed
27:59
they money. That's somebody I learned. I learned the tie from my daddy.
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I learned the seeds on like method from my father. Like he exemplified
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no matter what type of check he brought in, Oh he was he was
28:15
paying them tithes. That's good. He was paying them tithes. And so
28:18
I learned that from my father. And it wasn't something that he just had
28:22
to beat in me. Like it wasn't like, oh, you're gonna do
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this, blah blah blah. He literally said, okay, justicin. When
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you get your money, you should give a portion to the Lord. And
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this is why, you know why our lights haven't been cut off. You
28:36
know why we were able to take bails. You know why did da da
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da? It ain't nothing that I'm doing. I literally give my my tithes.
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And I don't know where my dad got that from. I don't.
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I'm not even confident enough to say that he necessarily got it from his parents,
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because I think that's a decision that you have to make. I know
28:56
my grandparents, are they saved money? Well, I don't know about their
29:00
tithing patterns, but I do know about my dad's tithing patterns. And I
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don't care what's going on. My daddy's gonna tie now tithing and giving a
29:10
first fruits. I learned that at the Worst Center. Shout out to Bishop
29:15
Van Moody. He is like so profound. If y'all need help with tithing
29:19
or anything like that, we I'm gonna have to. We're definitely gonna have
29:22
to link a teaching from him, because I still got notes from him just
29:27
explaining first fruits and the heart behind first fruits, and not just with money,
29:33
but even with time like that That's why, even as you mature as
29:37
a believer, it's so healthy to understand first fruits, because we'll understand that
29:41
when we give it to a give it to it God first, whether it's
29:45
our time, my money, our our love, it's an overflow that people
29:51
get to experience and we feel no lack. That's good. We feel that's
29:55
why Chick fil A can be closed for a day, pulling up on the
30:00
with my chicken biscuit, they start their they're week off with God, God,
30:03
all right, And so that's all. That's a whole that's a whole
30:07
nother thing. But I'm so grateful that my dad showed me that. However,
30:15
I do know I had the opportunity to understand budgeting and all that stuff
30:19
like that, and I wouldn't be as fearful of money as I am.
30:23
Like I really, my desire is just to pay somebody to do it.
30:27
That's my desire, is just to pay folks to do their job and do
30:32
what they're good at. Because my mental capacity at this point, I'm like,
30:34
I just want to be good at what I'm supposed to be good at.
30:37
But I think the Lord, even in the process of podcasting, right,
30:42
I had to learn it myself so that I could so I could communicate
30:48
my expectations to you when God ordained you to come to just ask the podcast.
30:53
And I wouldn't have been able to communicate those things unless I had gone
30:59
through it myself. So even with me not knowing or having this level of
31:03
relationship with finances, I do believe that I'm gonna be able not to maybe
31:08
teach, teach and and go in depth, but I'll have an idea of
31:14
like, Okay, when I do hire this person, when I do have
31:17
my my team that's working on my accounterfield, they ain't gonna be able to
31:19
play me. Come on, what's going on? Exactly exactly? Apostle how
31:26
told me the other day. Father Hall told me the other day. I
31:27
can't wait to have him on. Jesus, that's gonna be a long podcast.
31:33
Is make sure I get all the bats and y'all gonna hear from or
31:37
from him than from me at that point, because the way he lives in
31:44
the third Heaven, like I didn't get real quick too anyway, it's so
31:48
ever just started like we just and it's like conversations with him. I only
31:53
need to be on it. I cannot be on the phone with him longer
31:56
than thirty minutes because the other day I said, I'm about to go digest
32:00
what you said, and I talk to you later. I still have not
32:02
called him back. It's like conversation with was like, oh my god,
32:09
So y'all learned who that is very soon, very soon. So this is
32:15
your summons. We're summoning you. I know he's watching and listening because he
32:21
pays attention. Oh my gosh, you'll think I would think he's not paying
32:24
attention. But then he gets and like he the type of person won't comment,
32:30
won't like, won't share. But I'm like, he's like, oh,
32:35
just I saw you do this this. I saw you was at this
32:38
club. Y'all. Y'all he call me out. He was like, I
32:50
saw, I saw you was at the club. What you were doing.
32:52
I was like, I want to know, cub it was. It was
32:54
technically a bar. He's like, oh, so you want to be technical.
33:00
Listen. But you know, we we managed we manage our relationship pretty
33:06
well. It's good. But I think that you exposing the heart brings me
33:15
to the scripture. And I'm gonna start, y'all know we good n l
33:21
t n l t n l t l n l n l T is Matthew
33:25
six. And we're gonna start at the nineteenth verse, and we're gonna go
33:30
all the way down. So y'allready hold on, Matthew, said Matthew.
33:35
Matthew the sixth chapter, Matthew six, and starting at the nineteen First,
33:47
get your paper bibles, and get your let get the bible. I read
33:52
some word read so it's talking about teaching, teaching about the money and possessions.
33:58
Nineteen. Don't store up your treasures here on earth, where moths eat
34:02
them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store
34:09
your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do
34:15
not break in and steal. Twenty one. Wherever your treasure is there,
34:21
the desires of your heart will be also be. Your eye is like a
34:25
lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your
34:31
whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your
34:37
whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have
34:42
its actually darkness, how deep that darkness is? Twenty four No one can
34:50
serve two masters for you will hate one and love the other. You will
34:54
be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be
35:00
enslaved to money twenty five. That is why I tell you not to worry
35:06
about everyday life, whether you have enough food or drink and drink, or
35:12
enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food and your body more than
35:16
clothing. Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest, or store
35:22
food, wait, or store food in the barns. For your heavenly Father
35:28
feeds them. And aren't you more? Aren't you far more valuable to him
35:32
than they are? Twenty seven? Can all your worries add a single moment
35:38
to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies
35:45
of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing.
35:50
Yet Solomon, in all his glory, was not dressed as beautifully as
35:55
they are. And if God cares so wonder flee for wildflowers. They are
36:02
here today and thrown into a fire tomorrow. He will certainly care for you.
36:10
Why do you have wait? Why do you have so little faith?
36:15
Thirty one? So don't worry about these things, saying what will we eat,
36:21
what will we drink? What will we wear? Thirty two? These
36:25
things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers. Oooh, this is so good. But
36:30
your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Thirty three. Seek the Kingdom
36:37
of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you
36:43
everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its
36:50
own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today. My mic just thought the
37:00
till on it, y'all, y'all. The part where it says this is
37:10
what, part where it says thirty two, it says these things dominate the
37:15
thoughts of unbelievers. And so at this point the question is what do you
37:22
believe? What do you believe? And your belief will expose in your response.
37:36
It will. As you were reading, I was thinking about Pastor A
37:40
shout out to my pastor and Gates Son at the Purpose Church. We love
37:45
Pastor Gates. She did a message of about a month or so ago,
37:50
and all I remember, listen, all I remember is she came from Psalm
37:54
thirty three. Mr. Yeah, so this the very first verse is the
38:01
Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want right, and so she literally
38:07
began to break down verses. Maybe it's like one through five, but I
38:10
was just stuck on verse one because it said the Lord is my shepherd,
38:15
I shall not want right. So it's almost kind of like she was.
38:17
She said that David had God in his proper place. So because he is
38:24
his shepherd, he is his lord, he's the head of his life.
38:29
Now he should not want for anything because he's shepherding. It's almost kind of
38:31
like you believe or you don't, like, if we believe that the Lord
38:38
is Lord, if we believe that he is our shepherd, if we believe
38:44
that he will take care of everything, then it's like, then where's the
38:51
unbelief? Why do we have unbelief? If we know that God is going
38:55
to take care of us. It's so good what you're saying, because basically
39:00
you're saying that simultaneously, we have to accept the position. If we're giving
39:05
God the position a shepherd, we have to accept the position as sheep.
39:10
It can't be two shepherds. So when we when we when we say,
39:15
when you're talking about description and we're looking at the scripture and it's saying,
39:20
don't worry that means that when you choose not to worry, you're allowing God
39:25
to worry, which he doesn't have to because he already knows. Like if
39:30
I'm saying the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want, it means
39:36
the Lord is my provider, I shall not I have no need, I
39:40
have no lack. And so when it's that's the song when sheep hear my
39:45
voice, I think we brought that up one time, when we come running
39:51
to the father and we are allowing him to expose his shepherdhood, come running
39:58
to him first first. That's that's that's that's that's the workflow as we talk
40:04
about it, that's the work. That's the workflow. Stand up, take
40:08
it to him first, right. It can't be like, oh, let
40:10
me, let me try to figure out this X, Y and Z and
40:14
then I'm gonna go to the Lord. It's like no problem. Boom,
40:17
Lord boom. You know what I'm saying in that order, because if not,
40:22
then we are out of order. You know what's interesting, Let's go
40:24
to the description. Let's go to the description because and go to the twenty
40:30
three where I'm thinking, even the flow, yeah, even the flow of
40:38
pomes a girl. I used to say that too, and I'm gonna go
40:42
to the King James jergy because that is just hit different. But even when
40:46
you say, okay, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
40:51
The next verse says he maketh me, maketh me to lie down in
40:55
green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still, He restores my soul.
41:02
He leads me in a path of righteousness for his namesakes. Those three verse
41:07
next three verses basically says he gives me process to be to be a sheep.
41:15
So not only after I've accepted the Lord as shepherd and I've accepted my
41:22
position to be a sheep, to be the sheep, now I have to
41:27
walk in the faith of the processes of God. So when it says he
41:32
maketh me, that's not necessarily an order. It's a choice as being as
41:38
a position as a sheep. I can't be a sheep and a shepherd at
41:42
the same time, right, And so understanding our position, it goes back
41:47
to we was just talking about this offline. I was like, oh God,
41:52
I got that's aroun. I'm feeling guilty because I feel like I don't
41:54
do enough here for you. I don't support you here, and he was
41:58
like, no, you do what you're supposed to do, right. We
42:01
get so caught up in what we're not doing because of the simple fact that,
42:07
yeah, she's she's trying to she's trying to slip right now, y'all,
42:10
my mic is micing the wrong way. But we get so focused on
42:21
what we're not doing, thank you Holy Spirit, that we become unfocused on
42:25
what we're supposed to do. And so now, because I'm so concerned about
42:30
shepherd, the process of the shepherd versus the process of the sheep, I
42:36
can't lie down in green pastures. I can't be led beside steal waters.
42:39
I can't have my soul restored because I'm tried to be the shepherd. It's
42:45
an issue of submission. That's what that is. That I think that's that's
42:51
almost kind of you know, I think I ain't gonna say I think for
42:53
myself. Sometimes I sometimes have a problem with spiritual things because of my natural
43:00
experiences, you know what I'm saying. So it's kind of like, oh,
43:07
he is my heavenly father, but I've as he's healing me. I've
43:13
had some concepts and experiences with my earthly father which has almost limited me to
43:17
really receiving my heavenly father, you know what I'm saying. So sometimes and
43:24
culturally, we have a problem with that word submission. M let's talk about
43:31
it. We have a problem with that word submission because it almost makes you
43:34
seem like less than or like he's gonna be telling me what they ain't gonna
43:37
be telling me what to do X, Y and Z. But there's so
43:39
much the benefits. Did we talk about that one time? The title?
43:45
Accepting the title comes with the benefits. So if we accept the the the
43:52
title of the sheep, there's benefits that come along with us. But there's
43:55
a level of submission that we have to submit, cause, like you said,
44:00
we can't be the shepherd and the sheep at the same time. Girl,
44:04
we pulling out scripture today. Watch this. You just made me think
44:07
about if this was the scripture today. It's another song. It says,
44:15
hold on, let me read this, and I gotta read this in NLT
44:21
because I got this in MLT. M. Let's see so Psalms thirty four
44:37
eight says taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh the joys of
44:43
those who take refuge in him, right and so it's available. Like it
44:50
goes back to the submission. Like if I'm submitted, I have there's a
44:54
safe place. Right when you think about refuge or refugees, like you think
45:00
about getting connected to a safe place, getting being covered, and so it's
45:06
tasts to see that the Lord is good. Oh the joy, the joy
45:07
that's provided in being covered, the joy that's provided into submission. Greg has
45:13
to say that, he says, he said the thing about submission, especially
45:16
like when you're thinking about husband and wives, when we say wives submit to
45:22
your husbands. Okay, I heard the saying the man shall give the woman
45:30
something to submit to, right, but he also has to be submitted under
45:35
the Lord. And so if you have no mission, there's nothing to sub
45:40
So even thinking about in teacher's form, like if if the teacher this is
45:46
so good that the good substitute teachers were able to elaborate on what the teachers
45:52
were doing. You as as as we were growing up, we wanted the
45:59
teacher. The substitute teachers that were just lazy, right, they so many
46:02
words. But if you got one of the good old retired teachers, they
46:07
looking at the lesson. They expect the actual teacher to leave them some word
46:14
in order to produce and keep going and forward moved, or at least to
46:19
review what they were teaching the kids, so that would being nobody will be
46:22
left behind. Because in your absence, oh this is so good. In
46:27
your absence, in your in the wet place where God has already left,
46:31
He's left Holy Spirit to us as counsel. So when we think about the
46:35
submission, I am committed. Thank you, Holy Spirit, Oh you bringing
46:39
this word back. Come on, I am committed to the mission. And
46:44
so I'm a substitute. I am a reflection of what you've already done here
46:50
on earth when you left, when Jesus left and he ascended right and he
46:52
left Holy Spirit, that allows us to be the substitute and the evidence of
47:00
what is supposed to happen here on earth. And even when I think about
47:04
it, even the more desiree some sometimes we want to be here and hunch
47:14
o for the wrong reasons. Like we really when we think about it,
47:19
it's so much easier to be number two. It's stressful sometimes, but it's
47:24
so much easier because I don't I don't have to be seen, so let
47:28
your light shine. But like it's really shining. It is God. Like
47:31
God, you be responsible for that. God is really taking the responsibility.
47:35
He's allowing us to be a part of something and to submit to something so
47:37
much, so much greater than ourselves. But we have to say, Okay,
47:43
God, it's you, not me. Thank you for allowing me.
47:45
Okay, if this really you, not me, then I need you to
47:49
show up. I need you to provide a strategy. I need you to
47:52
make me lie down in green pastures and lead me besides this SLF, I
47:55
need you to do that and make it be do that, okay, make
47:59
it make me making me do that. And so when we get stressed out
48:01
about submission or our ideas about submission, it's because we lack trust and we
48:08
don't understand the mission of God. Yeah, that's that. And I was
48:13
thinking too, like I it was easy for me to submit and trust God
48:19
in certain areas, but that one area I couldn't or I felt like I
48:25
knew better than he did, you know what I'm saying. And that was
48:29
literally business and finance. Like I could submit like I'd be like God,
48:31
I trust you, I trust your Lord in all these other areas, but
48:35
it was something about this one particular area that I really just struggled with what
48:39
that looks like. And everybody has their area, yes, different. Mine
48:44
is relationship, Yeah, my listen, relationship and then trusting that I'm enough.
48:50
Yeah, that's why that's my my little my little green man fighting like
49:00
I'll be like Lord, Lord, but I'm so good to people at don't
49:05
matter. You ain't really done the relationship thing with me. Well, but
49:09
you guess what, I'm still chasing after you. I still want you.
49:13
I still desire you because I want you to see why you are so good
49:17
at that part, or why you desire that, Like I want it to
49:22
come from a healthy place, not a place of desperation. Be desperate for
49:28
me, and everything else attached to that desire will come. The Lord showed
49:35
me one thing, and I think we can end on this note. I
49:38
was thinking about my job, my ninety five and at my job, we
49:43
have these loyalty programs, but we also are able to set up business accounts,
49:49
right, and I was thinking, I was like, God, these
49:52
people with the loyalty program be so like, oh I got an account,
49:59
and it's like, no, you're a part of the loyalty program. So
50:02
the more you prove yourself, the more benefits you have. But the Lord
50:07
was like, anybody can be loyal. You're just a loyal person, right,
50:10
you can be loyal to anything. Dogs can be loyal to you.
50:15
You can be loyal to the dog. I can be loyal I just if
50:17
I just didn't body loyalty, which is a good trade, right, it's
50:21
a beautiful trade. Nothing wrong with that. But you can be loyal.
50:24
You can be loyal to God. Right, you can come in, submit
50:30
your what they call it, scan your card in church and just show up,
50:34
attendance and even volunteer even so a little bit, you know you can.
50:37
You can do that. But God is not asking for our loyalty.
50:42
He's asking for our commitment. And so even that I at my nine to
50:45
five, there are better benefits, There are better benefits to being committed.
50:54
So basically this is so good that business is committed to a certain volume of
51:05
revenue to our business, so they get privileges that the loyalty program customers don't.
51:15
Because commitment is saying, hey, I commit this aspect of me and
51:22
my business to you. I'm committed to putting you first here. That is,
51:28
it's like a contract agreement and watch this. We review that commitment yearly,
51:35
every six to twelve months. And so when we're reviewing that commitment,
51:38
it's both parties saying, hey, how am I showing up? This is
51:43
friend, this is good? How am I showing up? I am I
51:45
nurturing the relationship correctly? And when things go wrong, am I communicating on
51:52
a on on a level, a professional level where we're partners in this thing.
51:57
And my, my a my showing showing you a reflection of my first
52:04
word, This is so good loyalty you could go take that. I can
52:08
have a loyalty card with everybody. I can have a loyalty card with everybody.
52:14
But a contract, you know, I'm reading through that thing I said,
52:19
I agree to that thing or whatever. And that's where some of us,
52:21
I think we miss it. That's where it says trusting the Lord with
52:24
all thy heart. We trust the Lord with our mind. The heart is
52:31
where your treasures are stored or your desires are. That's where your heart is
52:36
also, So I'm trusting the Lord with my heart. I have a commitment
52:42
to the Lord. And it's not just something to swipe and get reward points
52:45
on all right, because we really treat that relationship like a loyalty card program.
52:52
Oh so I was looking up trying to look at the definition between like
52:55
commitment and loyalty, and really the biggest difference is what the commitment is.
53:00
Hey, I'm committed, but I'm also you're doing what the commitment says.
53:05
That's so the agreement says. Loyalty is like, oh I agree, you
53:08
know great. So when you're talking about the loyalty loyalty points, it's like,
53:13
Okay, I'm gonna frequent you like, yeah, I'm gonna open the
53:15
Bible, right, I'm gonna read the words on the on the pages.
53:19
But am I allowing it to apply to my life? The commitment is okay,
53:23
this is the word it says, the word is transforming. Okay,
53:27
so I hear the word. I see the word. Now let me go
53:30
do the word loyalty. Is you just reading the scriptures? You literally?
53:34
Oh yeah, I'm reading scriptures? Okay, great, I know points points
53:37
taken like that Bible out in the Bible out got a street, Yes,
53:43
a good stressed street. I was like, oh, I messed up my
53:45
street? Is that is that that's supposed to be on motivation fact or not?
53:50
Not the end, all be all. So yeah, that's the girl.
53:52
I'm gonna drop the mic on that one. That was good because I
53:55
was like, I can see that. Oh yeah, I'm loyal. I'm
54:00
showing up. I'm showing up. I'm reading the Word. I'm going to
54:02
church. But are you allowing the Word to transform you? Are you actually
54:07
doing what the Word says do if you're committed. I'm committed to this journey
54:12
with the Lord. So I'm going to do the things that the Lord has
54:15
commissioned me to do. To love my neighbors, you know what I'm saying,
54:17
To treat people kindly, to get in to meditate on the Word night
54:22
and day. That's the commitment that I've made. That's the agreement that I've
54:25
made as a believer. And we think we can commit with our minds,
54:29
but we have to commit with our heart, but our hearts and when we
54:32
commit in our minds, it becomes an option. Committing in your heart becomes
54:37
a livelihood. That's good and so God. That's why God always talks about
54:45
the heart when he talks about trusting and loving and whatever is with him,
54:52
because if it's not in our heart, it's not in our blood. Stream
55:00
like it. Literally we got to live and breathe the commitment of the Lord,
55:05
and some of that comes through. I'm even saying I'm dealing with some
55:07
of that now. It's like, Okay, God, what areas in my
55:09
heart have allowed me not to commit to you? Like? Am I even
55:17
I'm thinking about some things how I've showed I've chosen God as a loyalty program
55:22
versus an actual agreement, a binding agreement that we have Like God, I'll
55:29
show up, I'll do this and I'll make it look cute. I'll be
55:32
sought to here and I'll be you know, salty what I mean by it,
55:36
because it would say you're the sought of the earth. Right. But
55:42
I'm picking and choosing right. But God is like, no, I need
55:45
your full commitment because you won't be concerned about the quote unquote competition like who
55:54
can really compete with God? Like who can really compete with God? You
56:00
know know in that agreement, that covenant that we've made with him, we
56:06
didn't read the fine print. So the agreements like, oh yeah, I'm
56:09
gonna believe I accept that Jesus, Lord and I should be good. But
56:13
no, if the little fine prince saying, yeah, you got to die
56:15
to yourself, Dave, baby, you know daily, like, yeah,
56:20
you know that that stuff that we be doing in the world that feel good,
56:22
that's the kind of stuff that you got to start dying to you know
56:25
what I'm saying. And it even made me think about the decision I made
56:30
this week. So my birthday coming up and I had planned the trip.
56:34
I was bought the ticket and everything. My friends she over there and a
56:37
Ruba. I was going to Aba for my birthday. I was going to
56:40
a Ruba. But it was just something. It was the Holy Spirit.
56:44
But I don't know. I didn't get clarity on because I want to know
56:47
why, why is my spirit unsettled about going to a Ruba for my birthday?
56:54
My my flesh, my understanding wants to know, Okay, what's the
56:58
reason why? Because it made it easier to say I can't go because I
57:01
would have had a reason. I ain't had no reason. I just knew
57:05
my spirit was unsettled. So the trusting in that because I trust God.
57:08
I don't know why. It's like, I don't know, I don't know
57:12
what he protected me from. I don't know what made transpire. But I'm
57:15
like Okay, I guess I ain't going to Ruble, not this time,
57:21
not this time, not this, not this, not this time. So
57:22
we when we do a podcast from a rouble, y'all, y'all would be
57:25
like, we're gonna take a little clip from him and be like we said
57:30
we was going to a Rubbu and a girl. I'm gonna go ahead and
57:34
release this inn at feel we're gonna be paid to go to lub baby.
57:39
That's a bowl where we're gonna be paid in a national little in a national
57:45
movement, reach up and grab if you listen to it, just reach up
57:51
and I'm just we're reaching out. Oh were heavens? We resigned? Yes,
58:04
y'all, this has been great. This has been fun. Oh man,
58:07
y'all. I hope y'all enjoyed this conversation. I know y'all jother cocause
58:09
we got the souce. We got the souce, we got the drip to
58:14
seale conversations beyond fleet. You know what I'm saying, Like, thank y'all
58:17
so much for not only listening, but subscribing, following sharing. We appreciate
58:22
it. We appreciate all the inquiries of where we're going, what we're doing,
58:27
and when you know, we got to give people opportunity to sew into
58:30
what we're doing, the conversations to build. But at the end of the
58:34
day, like this is this is a bold not necessarily request, but giving
58:38
you a bold option. Like sometimes we as creatives or even just business owners,
58:45
especially with the Kingdom, like we're like, oh, we don't need
58:47
to beg we don't need to do this, and it's not even no big
58:50
this is the opportunity for you to sold into what's going on here. Because
58:53
I've always mentioned and stated and I've proven that I'm fertile ground. Sure,
58:59
I'm definitely fertile ground. Like I'm not even trying to bring certain stuff up
59:04
right now, but everybody's connected to my life has enhanced in different ways,
59:12
like whether it's spiritually, emotionally, financially, financially and so when you sowing
59:16
to just ask the podcast, you're sowing to fertile ground. And so we
59:22
need to put that up, give people opportunity to sew like whatever whatever's on
59:29
your heart, and so we'll start doing that. I guess. I mean
59:32
that's real. I mean, at the end of the day, the principle
59:36
is seed time and harvest. So you know, we be expecting the harvest,
59:40
but we still have to plant seeds, you know what I'm saying,
59:44
And you know, discerning that the ground is good, you know what I'm
59:47
saying, playing it in good ground. And don't grow alone, you know,
59:52
make sure you're sharing. I know, you know somebody you was like,
59:55
oh that's good. You thought about at least two people, not the
1:00:00
live. Don't by yourself. Let's grow together. Yeah, yeah, don't
1:00:04
leave, don't leave my part. The friend love is a friend loves at
1:00:07
all times. Of the brothers born for adversity. And so if you if
1:00:13
you got a friend and they going through stuff and the adversary is adversarian,
1:00:19
and you know this word was for them, like especially about their finances and
1:00:22
emotional intelligence. Like that's the two main things we talked about today. And
1:00:27
like you you got to do your part like it being men desert, right,
1:00:31
don't just do the just ass podcast? Like literally, she has an
1:00:35
event coming up called a consistent event called the Unboxed am I saying it right,
1:00:42
unboxed worship, y'all. And so as I'm leading this part, she's
1:00:45
gonna be leading the Unboxed Worship and I'm supporting her, and so Iron shops
1:00:50
Iron and then we don't just do ministry together, we literally do life together.
1:00:52
She know too much of my bus, you know too. I know
1:00:55
I know a little bit about her too. So it's like when we're going
1:00:59
through it's like I can feel it. Like this week when she said she
1:01:01
was crying. I didn't know it, but every time I thought about her,
1:01:05
I got emotional. I was like, why we ain't beefing, we
1:01:08
ain't nothing going on? Like why am I? Why am I crying?
1:01:10
And literally when she text me and I was like, oh, that makes
1:01:15
a little bit more sense, Like you really got to be there for each
1:01:16
other. And this podcast might you know, be the thing that your your
1:01:21
people need and so just show them. This is how you can show them
1:01:22
that you love them if you I think, and I really feel this is
1:01:25
this is holy spirit. Sometimes we try to find the words when God has
1:01:30
already produced the words. You just share it, you just you just share
1:01:32
it and release it. You know, just what you're not responsible for if
1:01:37
they listen to it or not, Like you're disresponsible for being obedient and sending
1:01:40
it to them and at the right appropriate time. Their ears will catch exactly
1:01:45
what the was trying to get them. You know, I'm just saying that's
1:01:47
because you know, that's my thing sometimes too, like, oh, but
1:01:50
what they gonna think of what they're gonna says? Just release it to them,
1:01:55
like, hey, you know her this world hold spirit to me senior
1:01:58
or what he I mean? Whatever you say, you know, send it
1:02:00
to them and then boom, you're good. You're good, You're great.
1:02:05
Y'all. Thank y'all so much. We love you guys until next week.
1:02:09
Life could be much more simple if you just say love y'all. Hey,
1:02:20
y'all, thank you for listening to just ask. If you enjoyed this experience,
1:02:23
be sure to like coming and rate so others can find the show.
1:02:29
If you'd like to stay connected with me, feel free to follow me at
1:02:31
the Jessica Smith on all platforms. Again, I'm your girl, jess Until
1:02:37
next time.