Latest / Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm / Signs of Adult ADHD in Women | 012

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Signs of Adult ADHD in Women | 012 · Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, it's Jess, and welcome back to Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you're here.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're diving into signs of adult ADHD in women.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: But before we talk about that, let's give you today's quick win.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Create a drop zone.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, put a small basket or tray in the spot where you always drop your keys, your phone, or your wallet, and that becomes your landing zone.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you already do this, and it's helpful.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: It also needs to be cleaned out every now and then.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: So here's your reminder.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: But that little tray or basket becomes your landing zone.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: See, our ADHD brains thrive on visual cues.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of hunting through the house every single morning, and you know what I'm talking about, you know exactly where to look.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: One tiny system and so much less stress.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you can make it cute.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many cute baskets out there.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I have a hook for my keys.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've got some colorful carabiners that I can easily clip onto my purse or hang them up when I'm home, and bright colors so I can see them, and different colors for each vehicle.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I know, okay, green was the truck and pink was the van.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, just a visual reminder instead of going, okay, which keys was this again?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, when we first bought our Odyssey van, I lost the keyless key, like within the first month.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it may be out of salvation army somewhere with all the clothes that we cleaned out of our closets on that same day.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: I lost it.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So my husband actually ended up buying a tile or like those air tags for the only set of keys we have for the van.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it created drop zone or special hanger for your keys so you're not looking all over the house.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: It'll save you a lot of time.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, signs of adults, ADHD, and women.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: So let me say this up front: I am not a doctor.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a bachelor's degree in broadcasting and a lot of life experience as an ADHD mom with ADHD kids.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just here to share what I've learned, plus share my own experiences and research.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: So if something I talk about today hits home, definitely follow up with a professional.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD often looks very, very different in women than it does in men.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And because of that, so many women go undiagnosed for years.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Some don't even figure it out until their kids get diagnosed.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm one of them.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly they realize the signs in themselves.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about what those signs actually look like in real life.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Why does ADHD look so different in women?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, for decades, ADHD research focused mostly on young boys.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Think of the stereotypical hyperactive kid bouncing off the walls and blurting things out in class.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's what people pictured when they heard ADHD.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: But in women, we're often socialized to behave differently, to sit still, be good little girls.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of bouncing off the walls, many women with ADHD develop more subtle or inward signs.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that could be inattentiveness, zoning out, feeling scatterbrained all the time, or just struggling with organization.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And because it's less obvious, it just gets overlooked.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So ADHD can be seen in three different ways.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's inattentive type, hyperactive type, or combined type, meaning both inattentive and hyperactive.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And just because you relate to some of these doesn't mean you necessarily have ADHD.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: There are trauma responses or hormones that can also make us feel like bad brain fog or scatterbrained, or maybe we do have ADHD.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why it's important to see a professional to help you understand what's going on behind the scenes.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD is diagnosed when it's an ongoing issue.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's something that you've experienced as a child, as a teen, and now, and that's something the professional will help you figure out.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is this something that you have seen as a child and all the way up through, or is this maybe a lot of stress or trauma response that is going on instead?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Based on an article from the Cleveland Clinic, let's look at the different types.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: So there's the inattentive type symptoms.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Inattentive type symptoms can disrupt work or schoolwork or maybe even your social relationships.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: To have inattention subtype of ADHD, you must have at least six of the following criteria for at least six months.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe these are things you saw as a kid in grade school.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're prone to making errors because of inattention.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: You have trouble staying focused and on task.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: You often seem like you're not paying attention when others talk to you.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or you zone out, maybe you've already zoned out listening to this podcast.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Or you have that what's known as the thousand-yard stare off into space.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you can start projects easily, but you have trouble following through and completing them.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Think of what kind of projects you've got going on in your garage right now, maybe in the closet, you want to update and even painting a new piece of furniture, but it's not done yet.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's still sitting there.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: You have difficulty organizing and setting priorities, especially with projects or tasks that involve multiple steps.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: You dislike or avoid boring or tedious tasks like busy work, chores, paperwork.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're prone to losing, misplacing, or forgetting things like your keys, phone, important papers, sometimes even things you literally just have in your hand.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I do this with my reading glasses.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I finally find my reading glasses or realize they're in my hand, I've lost my phone.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: So they have to backtrack and figure out where did I put my phone as I was looking for my glasses.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're easily distracted by what's happening around you or by your own thoughts.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: You're forgetful or absent-minded in your daily routine and may forget appointments.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: You may forget to pay your bills, things that happen consistently all the time.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: You think I should be in a routine, but I am just forgetful and absent-minded.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I forget my daily routine.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I have to write down my daily routine and read it and look at it.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope I'm not the only one who does that.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: All right, now let's look at the hyperactive, impulsive type symptoms in women with ADHD.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: These hyperactive or impulsive type of symptoms can disrupt your relationships, your work, schoolwork habits, and more.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Women are less likely to have these symptoms, but they are still possible.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: To have a hyperactive, impulsive subtype of ADHD, you must have at least six of the following lasting over six months.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: You fidget often, you frequently need to stand up and walk around.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: You often feel restless.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: You have trouble staying quiet, and you talk to yourself or say nonsensical phrases or sounds, sometimes without even thinking or intending to.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I must say stuff out loud because people will look at me and I'll say, Did I say something out loud?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, okay.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, never mind.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're usually active and people have trouble keeping up with you.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: You find yourself talking excessively.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: This can look like over-explaining yourself or infodumping.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's an informal term for talking at length about something you enjoy.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: I do this, and now I realize when I'm infodumping, but I don't know how to stop.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: So then I awkwardly try to back out of the conversation, and then it just ends with, oh no, you just had to be there.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Never mind.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: So how are you?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: You have conversational self-restraint problems.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: You frequently interrupt people or finish their sentences.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: This, this drives my husband nuts.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize I was trying to finish all of his sentences or guess what he was going to say before he said it.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he just gives me that look like, please let me finish.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: So this is something I personally have been working on for years.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have trouble being patient and waiting your turn.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: We tell our kids this.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We see this in our kids all the time, but internally we're like, would you please scan faster?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: I want to get these groceries and go home.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: These kids are driving me nuts.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe lines, slow drivers, waiting your turn.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, everyone in front of you at the grocery store is torture.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why I have Instacart, so I can order my groceries online and just go pick them up.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot stand grocery shopping.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you don't always understand social boundaries.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: You may interrupt or intrude on others without even realizing that others may find this behavior rude.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now, again, for women, these signs can be a little bit more subtle.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's less about running around the house nonstop, like hyperactive, and it's more about that constant inner restlessness, like you just can't shut your brain off.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: So why are these signs missed in women?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't people see this sooner?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there's a few reasons.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Masking.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Women with ADHD often work really, really hard to hide their struggles.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: We overcompensate with planners, and we need a new one every six months.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: We use sticky notes or late night to catch up on paperwork sessions.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Also, there's social expectations.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Girls are expected to be organized, tidy, and on top of things.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: And when we're not, we blame ourselves instead of thinking something else might be going on.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's internalized symptoms.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of acting out, women may internalize.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that shows up as anxiety, low self-esteem, or maybe constant guilt.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: So just some things to think about.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Many women grow up thinking they're just scatterbrained or lazy when in reality they've just been living with undiagnosed ADHD.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: People always told me, wow, Jess, you're so creative.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And now I know that creative was just a nice way of saying, you can't stop, won't stop coming up with ideas.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because my brain never shuts down.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I remember my grandma always saying, You've been moving constantly since the day you were born.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: We get labeled scatterbrain, lazy, forgetful, impulsive, just she's just weird.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've had that said to me before.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And no one ever explained to us that our brains just work differently, and that's okay.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: We're living in a world that was designed for normal brains.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: But what if we learn more about how our brains actually worked?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: What if we reflect on why we feel scatterbrained instead of saying, oh, I'm just a scatterbrain?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of that, let's ask, what is making me feel scatterbrained?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Is it too much on my schedule?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: How can I not compare my schedule to my friend's crazy busy schedule because she has a normal brain?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Am I eating too much sugar?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a trigger for me.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've had a confrontation with someone at work and you're just carrying that around with you, processing it over and over and over on top of trying to get your kids to soccer practice.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Our brains are constantly processing, processing.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why people think of us as creative problem solvers.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And we are, we are amazing at making those connections that no one else seems to think about because we're thinking about all of these things at once, and we see these little connections everywhere.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: We are amazing at coming up with maybe a sudden idea that makes a sad little kid happy again, or we have lots of energy and impulsivity to come up with quick actions.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: However, it is really draining, and we need to find ways to just regroup, let our brains not think so hard, or we don't want to stay on schedule so hard or be involved in heavy processing.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: I find that music is a really great way to decompress, or going out for a walk, or taking a hot shower, or going swimming in the pool.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Body movement, exercise is huge.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening and you're thinking, wow, this is me, I recognize at least six of those things in either the inattentive type or the hyperactive type.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Just know that you are not alone.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: These are very common signs of adult ADHD in women, and recognizing them is the first step toward understanding yourself better.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD is not a character flaw.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about being lazy, scatterbrained, it's not that you're just not trying hard enough.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's a neurodevelopmental condition.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: And with self-awareness, support, and sometimes treatment, you can build systems that actually work with your brain, not against it.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Not every ADHD brain is the same.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what makes this journey so unique to you.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: You're navigating unknown territory.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's fun, but it's also scary.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: But you've got this.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're learning our way together.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So next time on Quick Wins for ADHD moms, we're gonna talk about what happens after the aha moment.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think I might have this ADHD thing, and what to do if you think you might have it, and how to start moving forward.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, give yourself some grace today.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're doing so much better than you think.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: All right, see you next time.