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20 | The Council of Matts · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Eric: I'm just gonna come out and say it.
• 0:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 0:03
  Eric: Are you anyone's godfather?
• 0:05
  Matt: What?
• 0:09
  Matt: No.
• 0:10
  Eric: No, are you?
• 0:11
  Eric: I I am I have a godfather.
• 0:14
  Eric: Godfather to my nephew.
• 0:15
  Eric: Are you really?
• 0:16
  Eric: Yeah.
• 0:17
  Eric: I didn't know that.
• 0:18
  Eric: I don't uh well that's what's been keeping me up at night because I think about like nothing's wrong.
• 0:24
  Eric: My brother's not gonna die.
• 0:26
  Matt: But oh, you mean the the uh responsibility?
• 0:30
  Eric: Yeah, like do people actually do that?
• 0:34
  Matt: It is kind of a funny thing that you bring this up.
• 0:37
  Matt: Lindsay, at one point, not too long ago, I don't know, a couple months ago, something like that, she and I were having this discussion of like, well, if something happened to your parents, do you think your godparents would actually like adopt you?
• 0:51
  Matt: Like, is that like that she but she came at it from the perspective of like I don't think that's gonna happen.
• 0:57
  Matt: And I was like, that was fully my expectation as a child.
• 1:02
  Matt: Maybe that's not even my parents' uh expectation, but it was mine.
• 1:07
  Matt: Yeah, like they came to you, they're like, Matt, you know.
• 1:09
  Matt: I don't know.
• 1:10
  Matt: I it would be on my mind if somebody asked me.
• 1:13
  Eric: What so here, so here's the thing.
• 1:16
  Eric: Uh so I come to you, Matt, and I say, Matthew, I want you to be godfather of my child.
• 1:20
  Eric: Do you answer right there on the spot?
• 1:22
  Eric: Do you do you look me in the eye and you're like, I have to think about it?
• 1:26
  Matt: I think so for you, I would do it in instantaneous answer.
• 1:32
  Matt: Oh, angel.
• 1:33
  Matt: But I say that because it depends on the person.
• 1:35
  Eric: Like it's and you know I never want to have children.
• 1:38
  Matt: Well, I thought we were working with the hypothetical.
• 1:42
  Eric: Oh no, that makes it even better.
• 1:44
  Eric: If I just go, you know, like, hey Matt, I just need to know.
• 1:47
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:49
  Matt: Um the I but I'm saying if somebody that I wouldn't consider as close a friend as you, like if it came out of left field, is what I'm saying.
• 2:02
  Matt: Like, you know, somebody I see not often or something, and we're like, oh, by the way, would you and Lindsay be the godparents?
• 2:08
  Matt: I feel like my initial reaction would be like, uh uh, uh, uh, you know, oh, let me wow, so honored.
• 2:14
  Matt: Let me let me go think about it.
• 2:16
  Matt: Because if you asked me, there would be a thought process, sure, but it would happen internally and instantaneously.
• 2:25
  Matt: I would retreat into my mind palace.
• 2:29
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:30
  Matt: Where the various versions of myself come to meet.
• 2:35
  Matt: And we would we would sit in our round The Council of Mats.
• 2:40
  Matt: The Council of Mats would sit in a with their high-backed chairs and have the discussion, you know, the the you know, the the board meeting.
• 2:51
  Eric: Um I'm imagining like the most the the the most uh what's the word of the word the the like the most chaste in honor of Matthews going, we must, we must tend to the boy.
• 3:00
  Matt: And then there will be another that'll be like, this is a poach child.
• 3:04
  Matt: It shall be a wild thing.
• 3:06
  Eric: And then another comes in, but what of our anxiety?
• 3:12
  Matt: Such plans we had for the next several years before we have children of our own.
• 3:18
  Eric: Should we begin a college fund?
• 3:24
  Matt: You know that the birth parents did not plan for this.
• 3:30
  Matt: Yes.
• 3:31
  Matt: I do think it's interesting that all the Matt's have different voices.
• 3:35
  Eric: Yes, they they can they kind of have I imagine they wear different color robes to like signify their place.
• 3:41
  Eric: It's like the darker version of Inside Out.
• 3:44
  Matt: Yes.
• 3:45
  Matt: I mean, I have often not often recently, but as a kid, I would often think about like Osmosis Jones style, the different parts of my body communicating as if it was a workplace.
• 3:57
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:58
  Matt: Um I though those were daydreams that I had on the bus while no one would talk to me.
• 4:03
  Matt: The so so so anyway, the the it would be an instant meeting of the mats that um arrived almost instantaneously at of course, and then zoom out of you know, family guys zoom out from my brain.
• 4:19
  Matt: You suddenly have developed like a five o'clock shadow that wasn't there a little bit ago.
• 4:24
  Matt: The shadows under my eyes grew like exponentially, and I would look you in the eye and say, I will take the boy.
• 4:33
  Matt: Uh the but but uh but yeah, I mean some other schmo, I'd have to think about it because like I don't want just any kid that's not my kid on my time.
• 4:44
  Eric: Goodness, goodness no.
• 4:46
  Eric: Yeah, I I don't I'm trying to think if I've ever met anyone in my entire life who was like, yes, I was raised by my godfather.
• 4:53
  Matt: Ooh, that's interesting.
• 4:54
  Matt: I don't think I have though.
• 4:56
  Matt: Yeah.
• 4:56
  Matt: Because I do think it's mostly an honorific.
• 4:59
  Matt: Mostly honorific.
• 5:00
  Matt: It's mostly to say you you mean a lot to us, the parents, and we want you to be part of our child's life.
• 5:07
  Eric: And we love you so much that we've hypo hypothized that if we die, we would want you to raise our child in our stead.
• 5:15
  Matt: I wonder if there are people who are like, I will be the godfather, but like, do not put this responsibility on me if you die.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_05: I do not I cannot take this burden.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_05: Do not ask it of me.
• 5:25
  Matt: That is gonna be such a good fucking lifetime movie.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
• 5:29
  Matt: Can you imagine?
• 5:30
  Eric: Uh the boy's life will know only pain and darkness.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_05: You were supposed to care for me.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: You were supposed to love me.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_05: I cared for your father, boy.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_05: Only your father.
• 6:08
  Matt: My name is Matt Shea.
• 6:09
  Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
• 6:11
  Matt: And this is the 20th episode.
• 6:17
  Matt: I mean, we have accomplished so much in these 2024.
• 6:23
  Matt: We've accomplished 20 entire things.
• 6:26
  Matt: You, you, the listener, if you've listened from the beginning, oh my, thank you for spending almost an entire day of your life with us.
• 6:36
  Matt: God help you.
• 6:39
  Matt: Uh, and if you're just starting, thank you for um preparing to spend an entire day of your life with us.
• 6:48
  Eric: And if you are just starting, I do want to say um, I'm just gonna do a little bit of gatekeeping here.
• 6:53
  Eric: You're not a real fan unless you start with ep one.
• 6:56
  Eric: Okay, I don't know that I agree.
• 6:58
  Eric: Yeah, you're gonna listen to one, you're gonna write down your thoughts, you're gonna get on those forum posts that surely exist by now.
• 7:05
  Matt: Yes, but we wouldn't be here if people uh weren't weren't listening, so thank you very much.
• 7:11
  Matt: And by the way, if you haven't already, drop a review on Apple uh podcasts or Podchaser, you know, however you're listening to this show.
• 7:20
  Matt: Give us some stars.
• 7:22
  Matt: Really any amount of stars is good.
• 7:24
  Matt: Uh also we're on Facebook now.
• 7:26
  Matt: That's exciting.
• 7:27
  Matt: Ooh, baby! Yeah, well, Facebook is apparently launching podcasts.
• 7:32
  Matt: Oh god.
• 7:33
  Matt: Uh yeah, I don't know what that's gonna look like.
• 7:35
  Matt: It's they're still working out what it's gonna look like, I think.
• 7:37
  Matt: Becoming self-aware.
• 7:38
  Matt: Anyway, it felt like it was time for a uh a Facebook page.
• 7:42
  Matt: So give us a like on the old Facebook.
• 7:44
  Matt: Anyway, uh Eric, we I I feel as though we've got some good questions to jump into.
• 7:51
  Matt: What should should we get started?
• 7:53
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 7:55
  Matt: He said as he slurped some water down.
• 7:57
  Matt: Oh, you got to clean the palate.
• 8:01
  Matt: Uh so Eric, our first question today.
• 8:05
  Matt: I I think it's it's a question that w all of us have subconsciously had uh for quite some time.
• 8:12
  Matt: I'd say since the dawn of our childhoods.
• 8:16
  Matt: Yes.
• 8:17
  Matt: Uh it was not submitted by anyone specifically, but I did uh come across it on the interwebs, and so I thought I'd pose it to you.
• 8:25
  Matt: Eric, what is the hokey pokey all about?
• 8:33
  Eric: Well, Matt, now we're digging where there's taters.
• 8:38
  Matt: As as Jesus said.
• 8:41
  Matt: Uh the Jesus of Nazareth was wont to say.
• 8:44
  Matt: Now I did I did a little um initial research just to make sure we, you know, knew what we were talking about.
• 8:51
  Matt: I think it's interesting that apparently the official name, at least the official name that gets the heading on Wikipedia is the Hokie Kokie.
• 9:00
  Matt: That's why I can never find it on Spotify.
• 9:02
  Matt: Shit.
• 9:04
  Matt: They well, at least United Kingdom, Ireland, and the Caribbean.
• 9:07
  Matt: The Hokie Kokie?
• 9:09
  Matt: They call it the Hokie Kokie.
• 9:10
  Matt: South Africa, the United States, Canada, Australia, and Israel all refer to it as the Hokie Pokey.
• 9:18
  Matt: Uh now, I think just in case this needs clarification, just in case.
• 9:26
  Matt: I want to be clear.
• 9:28
  Matt: When we talk about the Hokie koke- Hokie Kokey.
• 9:31
  Matt: It is the Hokie Kokey.
• 9:32
  Matt: Call it what it is.
• 9:33
  Matt: Call it what it is.
• 9:34
  Matt: Eric, could you please walk me through the first lyric of the hokey pokey?
• 9:40
  Eric: Well, Matt.
• 9:41
  Matt: It's there's several steps involved.
• 9:43
  Eric: Yeah.
• 9:43
  Eric: You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out.
• 9:47
  Eric: You put your right hand in, and you shake it all about.
• 9:51
  Eric: You do the hokey pokey.
• 9:53
  Eric: The hokey pokey.
• 9:54
  Eric: And you turn yourself about.
• 9:56
  Eric: Or around as the flavor.
• 10:00
  Eric: That is what it's all about.
• 10:03
  Matt: Now, I so that it a couple of things.
• 10:06
  Matt: One, you start with the hands?
• 10:08
  Matt: I don't think we start with the feet.
• 10:10
  Matt: What do you start with?
• 10:11
  Matt: You start with the feet?
• 10:12
  Matt: You put your right foot in, is I think the traditional beginning of this.
• 10:17
  Matt: Oh, I'm sorry.
• 10:19
  Matt: But you here I am hosting a twenty the 20th episode of this podcast with someone who doesn't even know how to do the fucking hokey key.
• 10:26
  Matt: You know, we're approaching this with like 18th century dueling rules.
• 10:30
  Matt: Oh, Christ.
• 10:31
  Matt: Can you imagine though, if we got in a circle and everyone was like, all right, you put your right and you so it is the right.
• 10:37
  Matt: We can agree that it begins with the right, whatever.
• 10:39
  Matt: But you put your right hand in, I think you're wrong.
• 10:43
  Matt: I'm just gonna say, I think you're wrong.
• 10:44
  Eric: I'm about to fucking Google the lyrics.
• 10:47
  Eric: Are there official lyrics?
• 10:48
  Eric: Who wrote this story?
• 10:50
  Matt: Well, the hokey the hokey kokie is different lyrics according to Wikipedia.
• 10:53
  Matt: What?
• 10:54
  Matt: Okay, hold on.
• 10:55
  Matt: Hold on.
• 10:55
  Matt: Under the United States style of dance section of the Wikipedia article, you put your right leg in, you put your right leg out.
• 11:02
  Matt: When that's just wrong.
• 11:03
  Matt: No one says right leg.
• 11:04
  Eric: See, now I'm looking at a version of the Hokie Kokie by Blacklace, and they start with the left arm.
• 11:09
  Eric: It's fucking we need to standardize.
• 11:12
  Matt: So we need to standardize, but it seems like it's a dealer's choice.
• 11:14
  Matt: It's uh it's house rules.
• 11:16
  Eric: Okay, okay, okay.
• 11:18
  Matt: But it does, but it always ends with, and you turn yourself about or around, I guess.
• 11:23
  Matt: Yes.
• 11:24
  Matt: And that is what it is all about.
• 11:27
  Matt: And so I feel like the answer to the question could easily be interpreted using meatloaf grammar.
• 11:35
  Matt: Okay?
• 11:36
  Matt: Yeah.
• 11:36
  Matt: Yeah.
• 11:36
  Matt: That's what it's all about, could be referring to, and you turn yourself around.
• 11:42
  Matt: Could be the turn is what it's all about.
• 11:45
  Matt: Because you and you know what I'm talking about when I say meatloaf grammar, right?
• 11:49
  Matt: Oh, yeah, like like I'll do anything for love.
• 11:52
  Matt: I am referring to the idiots who listen to I Do Anything for Love and don't know like there was one time I was listening to a radio station, almost had to get into a car accident because I swerved off the road in indignation when the DJ was like, Anything for love, radio edit, plays first, uh, comes out, and you hear the DJ go, Oh my, will we ever learn what meatloaf will not do for love?
• 12:21
  Matt: And I was like, Yeah, he says like eight things over the course of the song.
• 12:25
  Matt: Just do lit, just pay attention to commas.
• 12:29
  Eric: This is side tangent.
• 12:32
  Eric: This reminds me of the uh I've I know I've had this discussion with you before because I think we discovered this together at WordBridge.
• 12:38
  Eric: Um, but it is uh the song We Are Young or uh Tana We the lyric is and I quote and so if by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down, I'll carry you home tonight.
• 13:06
  Eric: I'm just gonna back that up and we're gonna walk through that grammatically.
• 13:10
  Eric: So if by the time the bar closes, so we have established so if this happens, which in all human speech leads me to think, like, okay, so if this happens, what?
• 13:23
  Eric: So if by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down, yes, conditional, I'll carry you home tonight.
• 13:32
  Matt: Not if you have fallen down.
• 13:35
  Matt: Yeah, like So if if you have gone so far as to already be falling down, I guess the deal's off.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_05: I it just doesn't fli I it So the Hokie pokey.
• 13:54
  Matt: So the hokey pokey.
• 13:55
  Matt: So we've put our right foot hands in, we've shaken them all about, we've done the hokey pokey, yep, and we turn ourselves around.
• 14:04
  Matt: Indeed, we have.
• 14:05
  Matt: And that is what it is all about.
• 14:08
  Matt: But what is that?
• 14:10
  Matt: I guess my question is so we know what it's about.
• 14:12
  Eric: What it what No, we don't, that's the question.
• 14:15
  Eric: No, but like this is they can't just do this to us, Matt.
• 14:20
  Eric: Like they can't just like what is this a ritual of some kind?
• 14:25
  Matt: Is this The Hokie Pokey?
• 14:28
  Matt: It is I do think it's interesting that the lyrics are you do the hokey pokey, because my understanding is what we're doing, what we're doing in this circle, perhaps about to do under a parachute, is the hokey pokey.
• 14:41
  Matt: The dance is the hokey pokey.
• 14:43
  Eric: Yeah, and like I don't know, I don't know you like what do you do?
• 14:46
  Eric: So when they're you're doing the turnabout part, we're like, they do the hokey pokey and what are you f you're doing, I see you're doing it on camera.
• 14:52
  Eric: Yeah, you do like a thing with your arms, a nondescript thing.
• 14:55
  Matt: Everybody does a nondescript beat, two beats with their arms as you turn around.
• 15:00
  Matt: One one arm up, one arm down.
• 15:04
  Matt: And that's what it's all about.
• 15:07
  Matt: Usually strike a little pose.
• 15:09
  Matt: And then you strike a little pose and then you go right for left foot or whatever.
• 15:12
  Eric: Yeah.
• 15:14
  Eric: So I I wanna my questions are so many fold, Matthew.
• 15:20
  Eric: Uh like that turn like that little vague turny limb flaily thing, is that the hokey pokey?
• 15:28
  Eric: And if that is the hokey pokey, then what the fuck else was the rest of the thing we were doing?
• 15:32
  Matt: I think the set of instructions is the hokie pokey.
• 15:35
  Matt: That I think putting the putting in of the right hand, the laying of the right hands in the circle, the laying of the left feet.
• 15:42
  Matt: You you you shake them all about, you do the hokey pokey, and you and then the bar closes, and then you turn yourself around, just as if, just in the same way.
• 15:54
  Matt: And then you carry me home tonight.
• 15:56
  Matt: And then you carry me home tonight.
• 15:59
  Matt: No, but they're saying, and and that's what it's all about.
• 16:02
  Matt: I feel as though what we are hearing here is I have been given a set of instructions.
• 16:08
  Matt: Yeah.
• 16:08
  Matt: Rigid instructions.
• 16:10
  Matt: You do this, you do that, you shake it all about.
• 16:14
  Matt: That all is encompassed in doing the hokey pokey.
• 16:17
  Matt: You turn yourself around, and that's what it's about.
• 16:20
  Matt: To me, it does refer to the turn, but it is a metaphorical reference.
• 16:24
  Eric: That's what I'm getting.
• 16:25
  Eric: Like, are we dealing with like uh a ring around the rosy situation here?
• 16:31
  Eric: Is this like a metaphor for a super fucked up time in Victorian England?
• 16:34
  Matt: I think it might just be you know, first of all, that is a um sorry.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, is that a myth?
• 16:41
  Matt: You're referring to the ring around the rosy being a reference to the bubonic plague.
• 16:45
  Matt: Which definitely didn't happen in Victorian England.
• 16:48
  Matt: No, it didn't.
• 16:50
  Matt: No, that is that is in fact a a uh a myth that it's about ring around the booble.
• 16:56
  Matt: Um uh and I only know that for a fact because I heard it on the last podcast on the last time.
• 17:03
  Matt: Oh good plug.
• 17:04
  Matt: Good plug.
• 17:05
  Matt: Good plug for a show that does not and will not know about us.
• 17:09
  Matt: Uh but the they are doing a show on the uh uh bubonic leg right now.
• 17:14
  Matt: It's very interesting.
• 17:16
  Matt: Anyway.
• 17:16
  Matt: Anywho.
• 17:17
  Matt: I think what what what it is is what I mean by a medical metaphorical reference is what I'm seeing now for the first time, what I am having the mind-opening experience of is that the hokey pokey is a set of instructions that you have to follow, that you don't wish to follow, that you feel like a fucking idiot while following.
• 17:38
  Matt: We're talking about life here, baby.
• 17:40
  Matt: Oh man.
• 17:42
  Matt: So we're talking about responsibilities.
• 17:44
  Matt: You have a responsibility to the circle to be on time with your movement.
• 17:48
  Matt: You put that right hand in, you put your left hand out, you shake them all about.
• 17:52
  Matt: Why are we doing these things?
• 17:54
  Matt: No one knows.
• 17:55
  Matt: And eventually, but then when you turn yourself around, you set it, you're doing this nondescript.
• 18:02
  Matt: What do I do to fill the time here?
• 18:06
  Matt: How do I fill this void, empty space between instructions?
• 18:12
  Matt: That is what love is all about.
• 18:16
  Eric: Fuck, dude! Yeah, no, okay, okay.
• 18:20
  Eric: So you know what?
• 18:21
  Eric: Uh uh a couple things I'm taking from this.
• 18:23
  Eric: One, take me there.
• 18:25
  Eric: You're brilliant.
• 18:26
  Eric: I would even extend your metaphor and say, because eventually the end game of the hokey pokey is you're no longer giving just an arm or a leg.
• 18:33
  Eric: You're putting your whole self in.
• 18:35
  Eric: Putting your whole self into it.
• 18:37
  Eric: Fuck.
• 18:38
  Eric: Into the circle.
• 18:39
  Eric: But two, from now on, when I'm turning it about, I'm gonna go buck fucking wild night dance floor.
• 18:47
  Eric: Don't waste it.
• 18:48
  Eric: I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go so fucking nuts.
• 18:50
  Eric: I'm like, this is my a lot of time.
• 18:52
  Eric: This is me.
• 18:53
  Eric: This is me time.
• 18:54
  Matt: You only have one chance to hokeie poke, baby.
• 18:57
  Eric: If you had one, if you had one shot, one opportunity.
• 19:01
  Eric: Would you take it or would you turn yourself about?
• 19:05
  Matt: Because I'll tell you this.
• 19:06
  Matt: I would do anything for love, but I will not do that.
• 19:12
  Matt: In this case, throw away my shot at the hokie poke.
• 19:15
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 19:17
  Eric: It's good to know, it's it's it's good to know that uh Meatloaf, Eminem, and the Hokie Pokey are all on the same page.
• 19:24
  Matt: You put you right food.
• 19:27
  Matt: Can you imagine the meatloaf hokey pokey?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna shake it about tonight.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna shake it about tonight tonight.
• 19:31
  Matt: Gonna shake it about tonight, I'm gonna shake it about tonight tonight.
• 19:35
  Matt: I do love meatloaf.
• 19:37
  Matt: Both the dish, both the dish and the singer.
• 19:39
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 19:41
  Matt: You know, there are people who, you know, I feel like it's an old TV trope at this point to like say like meatloaf is the grimy dinner or whatever.
• 19:50
  Matt: Meatloaf fucking ools.
• 19:52
  Matt: I fucking love a good meatloaf.
• 19:54
  Matt: Now you come with me some don't come with me a dry loaf.
• 19:57
  Matt: Don't come at me with a brick made of ground beef.
• 20:00
  Matt: No, no, no, with some red, nondescript red sauce on top of it.
• 20:04
  Matt: No, no, no, no.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_05: No, no, no.
• 20:07
  Matt: It's gotta be, it's gotta be the real thing, or I don't care.
• 20:12
  Matt: Eric, what's our next question?
• 20:13
  Eric: Matthew, Mateo, I'm so glad you asked.
• 20:17
  Eric: Our next question today.
• 20:20
  Eric: In Boot Delicious.
• 20:24
  Eric: Another song.
• 20:25
  Eric: Another song.
• 20:27
  Eric: In Boot Delicious.
• 20:29
  Eric: What flavor is this jelly?
• 20:32
  Matt: And that's from Jay Ealy.
• 20:35
  Matt: Yes, yes, good friend of the pod.
• 20:37
  Matt: Well, Jay Ealy, you've brought to us uh a question that I think could get particularly um blue if we chose Eric.
• 20:49
  Matt: We're gonna be talking about ass.
• 20:51
  Matt: Right, because the jelly in this case, we are we're all talking about ass, right?
• 20:56
  Eric: And we are we're of course talking about referring to Destiny's Child song, Bootylicious.
• 21:02
  Matt: No, we're referring to the Woody Guthrie song.
• 21:05
  Matt: Yes.
• 21:06
  Eric: The the I Bootilicious Woody Guthrie did a fucking version of Bootylicious.
• 21:12
  Matt: Can you turns out well, actually, Destiny's Child was just covering Woody Guthrie's scenario?
• 21:19
  Eric: It's like the it's like the Nine Inch Nails Johnny Cash scenario.
• 21:22
  Eric: Everyone thinks that nine inch nails was covering Johnny Cash's song.
• 21:27
  Matt: So ass.
• 21:28
  Matt: Ass.
• 21:29
  Matt: So we're talking about ass.
• 21:30
  Matt: We're talking about that jelly booty.
• 21:33
  Matt: Right?
• 21:34
  Matt: I'm not crazy.
• 21:35
  Eric: No, no, no, no, you're not right.
• 21:36
  Matt: Uh because I what I believe I was told repeatedly over and over again was that I am not ready for this jelly.
• 21:48
  Matt: Well, and it was told to me with a butt shaken.
• 21:52
  Eric: Well, see three of them.
• 21:53
  Eric: I will say this it's not a definitive you're not ready for it.
• 21:57
  Eric: Uh if you remember, Dusty Child says, and I quote, I don't.
• 22:00
  Eric: I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
• 22:02
  Eric: I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
• 22:05
  Eric: I don't think you're ready for this, cause my body too bootilicious for you, babe.
• 22:12
  Matt: Yes.
• 22:13
  Matt: You are absolutely right.
• 22:14
  Matt: Thank you for the note.
• 22:16
  Matt: She didn't think I was ready.
• 22:18
  Matt: And in fact, she was right.
• 22:20
  Matt: Oh man.
• 22:24
  Eric: Uh so so it it seems like Destiny's Child isn't so much diss in you so much as they are, they're kind of challenging you to step up.
• 22:35
  Eric: It is a challenge.
• 22:36
  Eric: It is a challenge.
• 22:37
  Matt: They are ch it is a it is a challenge they are putting forth, but this question is framing it.
• 22:44
  Matt: I think we're talking about the metaphorical.
• 22:48
  Eric: Metaphorical jelly.
• 22:50
  Matt: Jelly.
• 22:51
  Matt: Not what does Beyonce's butt taste like.
• 22:56
  Matt: No, no, no.
• 22:57
  Eric: None of us, none of us have I would not presume to answer that question.
• 23:03
  Eric: No.
• 23:04
  Eric: That would it it would be presumption on a scale unheard of, Matthew.
• 23:08
  Matt: Because of course, as I've already said, Beyonce was correct.
• 23:12
  Matt: I personally was not and still am not ready for that job.
• 23:17
  Eric: No, and I think it's important to recognize that within ourselves.
• 23:20
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 23:22
  Eric: I think Beyonce I I I will never speak for Beyonce, but I would like to think that Bay would appreciate a man who recognizes, like, Queen B, I am not good enough.
• 23:34
  Matt: Like, I I I think I would like to dismiss myself.
• 23:40
  Eric: Could you imagine walking up to Beyonce and going, I would just like you to know that I have taken myself out of the running.
• 23:48
  Eric: I don't think you're ready.
• 23:49
  Eric: Boom, this jelly.
• 23:50
  Matt: You know what?
• 23:51
  Matt: You're right.
• 23:51
  Matt: I'll see myself out.
• 23:52
  Matt: You're absolutely fucking right.
• 23:54
  Matt: I am so sorry.
• 23:55
  Matt: I think I came into the wrong studio.
• 23:57
  Eric: And BB, I wish you nothing but the fucking best of luck because whoever now, and this is actually interesting.
• 24:05
  Eric: And and and this has to have been okay.
• 24:09
  Eric: I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
• 24:12
  Eric: Beyonce is often referred to as queen bee.
• 24:17
  Eric: Ah, you know where I'm going with this, right?
• 24:20
  Eric: Yeah.
• 24:21
  Eric: The royal jelly.
• 24:22
  Eric: The jelly that that that turns a normal bee into a queen bee.
• 24:27
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 24:28
  Eric: So what if this Matthew?
• 24:29
  Eric: So what if I thought you were just gonna say honey.
• 24:31
  Eric: No, oh no, no, no.
• 24:33
  Eric: Like there's a whole there's a are you familiar with royal jelly?
• 24:36
  Eric: Hold on, let me let me make sure this.
• 24:38
  Eric: So, royal jelly, let me look this up.
• 24:40
  Eric: So, for those of you not aware with bees, uh, during the process of creating a new queen bee, the workers construct special queen cells.
• 24:52
  Eric: This is taken straight from Wikipedia.
• 24:54
  Eric: Please donate today.
• 24:55
  Eric: The larvae in these cells are fed with copious amounts of royal jelly.
• 25:02
  Eric: This type of feeding triggers the development of queen morphology, including the fully developed ovaries needed to lay eggs.
• 25:11
  Eric: So, what I'm thinking here is I I don't think this is a call for a man.
• 25:18
  Eric: You know, Matt, I I'm gonna kind of go out on a limb here.
• 25:23
  Eric: I'm starting to suspect that this might not be about men.
• 25:30
  Eric: I think this might not, this one might not be about us.
• 25:34
  Matt: Hold on, Eric.
• 25:36
  Matt: That's quite the accusation.
• 25:38
  Eric: I have to sit down.
• 25:39
  Matt: So I think Matt, what I'm proposing Hold on, I gotta wipe my brow.
• 25:45
  Eric: Is that this entire song wasn't written for the benefit of just straight dudes?
• 25:54
  Matt: That is, you know, it's hard to, it's a hard reality to come to grips with.
• 25:58
  Eric: I you can't see it, folks, but I'm gripping the edge of my fainting chair.
• 26:04
  Eric: I am I am about to pass out.
• 26:07
  Matt: But are so are you saying that in the message that is being put the metaphor that we're putting out here is that that we're talking about specifically the royal jelly that will turn, that will eventually take uh uh Beyoncé from just this lead singer of Destiny's Child to what she is today.
• 26:33
  Matt: Like that is exactly everybody, I don't think you're ready for the jelly that the for the talent that only I can possess.
• 26:41
  Eric: I think what what Bayance Beyonce is is saying is is just that I think this was a journey of self-discovery.
• 26:51
  Eric: I think it was her standing on the precipice of her own artistic apotheosis and saying, Wow, am I ready?
• 26:58
  Eric: Like the and the jelly here could be like the money, the fame, am I ready for this?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_05: And spoiler alert, she super fucking was.
• 27:09
  Matt: So, in terms of what does it taste like, I think I know.
• 27:14
  Matt: I think the question is, what is it what does this royal jelly that she's referring to that only she the nectar that only she can drink from, what does that taste like?
• 27:26
  Matt: I think it tastes like glory, fame, success.
• 27:31
  Matt: It tastes like immortality.
• 27:35
  Matt: Immortality.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
• 27:39
  Matt: I mean, does it not though?
• 27:41
  Eric: Yeah, no, and Matt and and the baby being who she who she is, uh I I think she knew she was onto something back then because now I think the song takes on a different message.
• 27:57
  Eric: I think now what does it take on now?
• 27:59
  Eric: I think now Beyonce Yeah but Beyonce's jelly is it's a message for the next generation.
• 28:08
  Eric: It's are you ready for this fame for jelly?
• 28:12
  Eric: This is Beyonce like packing out.
• 28:14
  Eric: She was so ahead of her time.
• 28:15
  Eric: Like, handle the man.
• 28:16
  Eric: Oh, fuck, yes.
• 28:18
  Eric: And I think I think this is her turning to Lil Nas and saying, Are you ready for this fucking jelly?
• 28:24
  Matt: She was so you're saying that in this video, when she's making eye contact with me, the viewer, yeah, what she's really doing is reaching out, and she knew as she was just deadeyeing that camera in that music video, what she's actually doing is she's looking down looking down the road, seeing Mick McBeth style.
• 28:51
  Matt: She's not sure.
• 28:51
  Eric: Yes, into the midst of time, seeing which seed will grow and which will not.
• 28:54
  Matt: She's seeing all the future crowns of Bangquo go, all the whole line, and she's speaking to all of us, all of us in uh in in this astral plane.
• 29:07
  Matt: Who among you is going to ascend to the level that even I have yet to ascend.
• 29:16
  Eric: Oh.
• 29:17
  Eric: And you know Beyoncé just wants the best for you.
• 29:19
  Eric: Like, you know, Beyonce is kind of she's like, I don't want you to be like me.
• 29:23
  Eric: She says, I want you to be better like that.
• 29:24
  Matt: Because you cannot be.
• 29:25
  Matt: Yeah.
• 29:26
  Matt: I want you to be you.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_05: Fuck.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_03: Guys.
• 29:31
  Matt: God damn bae! She's such a sage.
• 29:34
  Matt: She's such a good person.
• 29:37
  Matt: Well, I think we've answered it, Eric.
• 29:39
  Matt: I think it tastes what does that jelly taste like?
• 29:41
  Matt: I think it tastes like glory.
• 29:44
  Matt: Glory.
• 29:44
  Matt: Immortality.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_05: Power.
• 29:47
  Matt: Like wisdom.
• 29:50
  Matt: Thank you, Beyoncé.
• 29:52
  Matt: And thank you, Jayley, for the question.
• 29:54
  Matt: Yeah.
• 29:55
  Matt: Man, we are knocking them out.
• 29:56
  Matt: Oh, that was uh but perhaps, Eric, that's because our last question might take a little bit more time.
• 30:05
  Matt: Uh possibly.
• 30:06
  Matt: There are a lot of things to consider.
• 30:09
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 30:10
  Matt: This it comes from O'Connor315.
• 30:14
  Matt: Yep.
• 30:15
  Matt: What is the most useless superpower?
• 30:22
  Eric: So I wanna, and I kind of want to make this because we could so easily answer this like, oh, the the most useless super power.
• 30:29
  Eric: I can make my nails grow at normal speed.
• 30:30
  Eric: No, no, no, no.
• 30:32
  Eric: I'm talking you what is the most useful useless superpower you can have, but still be classified as having a superpower.
• 30:41
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 30:42
  Eric: Like, or like, if if if you what is the lowest bar for someone to qualify to technically have to like go out and fight crime, but their powers absolutely fucking useless.
• 30:55
  Matt: Now, I think Eric, there's a couple of ways to approach this.
• 30:58
  Matt: And uh one one thing that I did in preparation was I pulled up the superpower wiki from fandom.
• 31:05
  Matt: Oh, of course you did.
• 31:06
  Matt: Uh the specifically the article List of Supernatural Powers and Abilities.
• 31:10
  Matt: Yep.
• 31:10
  Matt: And it has uh different uh categories, it's incredibly in-depth.
• 31:17
  Matt: Uh for example, they they they give some genuses of the types of powers concept, function, mechanism, source, and unfathomable.
• 31:30
  Matt: Oh examples of unfathomable are logic manipulation, okay potents, and author authority.
• 31:38
  Matt: Ooh, those are interesting.
• 31:40
  Matt: All those are interesting.
• 31:41
  Matt: Oh, okay.
• 31:41
  Eric: So like Oh, metapotence.
• 31:43
  Matt: Okay, yep, yep, yep.
• 31:44
  Matt: So like Yeah.
• 31:46
  Matt: Yeah, and as I go down some of these examples, like one of them is like, okay, so for under personal physical powers, wall crawling, obviously.
• 31:55
  Matt: We know some we s know some guys with that for sure.
• 31:58
  Matt: But then we have things like uh prehensile tail is under there.
• 32:05
  Eric: Yeah.
• 32:06
  Eric: Like nightcrawler's got one of those.
• 32:08
  Matt: Fat manipulation.
• 32:10
  Eric: Okay.
• 32:11
  Matt: Uh, and the example they give there is like um Big Bertha from Marvel Comics can alter the height and mass of her body by a tremendous degree.
• 32:24
  Matt: And they've got a picture here, uh a comic pain here of her stopping a Mac truck by inflating her.
• 32:31
  Matt: Sounds pretty goddamn useful.
• 32:33
  Matt: Sounds pretty goddamn useful.
• 32:34
  Matt: But so, I mean, I think are they asking for a real example from an actual superhero, no matter how odd or awkward.
• 32:45
  Matt: For example, Squirrel Girl is a real superhero.
• 32:49
  Eric: He's a real superhero, but has canonically beaten Galactus.
• 32:53
  Eric: Like, canonically, Squirrel Girl is one of the most powerful beings in existence.
• 32:59
  Matt: It's the running joke of her series.
• 33:01
  Matt: But she can her but is not her only real power that she can talk to squirrels.
• 33:07
  Eric: And that's the thing.
• 33:08
  Eric: The writers always found a way for that to be how she defeats cataclysmic galaxy ending threats.
• 33:15
  Matt: But is okay, alright.
• 33:18
  Matt: So but so I I that's what what I'm that's my point, right?
• 33:21
  Matt: Like, I don't think we can use somebody like that.
• 33:24
  Eric: Yeah.
• 33:24
  Matt: And like there's the old all everyone's got jokes about Aquaman, right?
• 33:29
  Eric: Because he controls Aquaman, canonically also one of the most powerful beings.
• 33:33
  Eric: Like, people give shit for Aquaman because they're they're thinking of like 19 like 1970s Aquaman, but like Aquaman in the comic books could fuck your shit up.
• 33:42
  Matt: He can control the whole ocean, basically.
• 33:44
  Eric: And all liquids and like just super strong, super insanely good at anything.
• 33:50
  Matt: And now he's Jason Momoa, so I'm not fucking messing with him now.
• 33:54
  Matt: I ain't fucking with that.
• 33:56
  Matt: Please.
• 33:57
  Matt: Permission to come aboard, permission granted.
• 34:00
  Eric: Matt, could you imagine if Beyonce and Jason Momoa joined forces?
• 34:05
  Eric: Oh no.
• 34:06
  Matt: I don't think we're ready for that job.
• 34:08
  Eric: We would be we I we for one species.
• 34:13
  unknown: Yeah.
• 34:13
  Eric: We we the the dawn of man is now dusking.
• 34:18
  Eric: That's a that's a thing.
• 34:19
  Matt: Wow, we really knocked it at that.
• 34:21
  Matt: It went out of the park.
• 34:22
  Matt: Yep.
• 34:23
  Matt: Now, Eric, I I I I think what we're being tasked with, though, is to think outside the event.
• 34:31
  Matt: I think we are to come up with the ability.
• 34:35
  Eric: A classic ad uh example I can think of is from the movie Mystery Men.
• 34:39
  Eric: Um which was where you have uh the character who can turn invisible but only when no one's looking at him.
• 34:48
  Eric: Like that, you know what I mean?
• 34:50
  Eric: I like those class of superpowers, they're like kick ass, but they come with like a qualifier that makes them totally useless.
• 34:56
  Matt: Yes, like oh, this is this is a good one.
• 35:00
  Matt: Uh I saw this some somewhere on Reddit or Twitter or something.
• 35:05
  Matt: The ability to detect all poisons by tasting them.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, yes.
• 35:14
  Matt: Oh man.
• 35:15
  Eric: Um That's a useless superpower.
• 35:19
  Eric: Uh you can speak any language in the known universe, but you only know how to say like the worst insults imaginable in those languages.
• 35:28
  Matt: Interesting.
• 35:30
  Matt: Yeah, oh, like naturally you're saying it c the knowledge comes to you.
• 35:36
  Eric: Yes.
• 35:36
  Eric: Yeah, you didn't learn like you you could just instantly know how to communicate with any species, but you can only communicate to them through the most horrific insults imaginable.
• 35:45
  Matt: Can you not will you not be able to expand your own knowledge though?
• 35:49
  Matt: Like, could you not like sure fuck you comes as an instinct just like breathing.
• 35:54
  Matt: But you you you could learn beyond that, could you not?
• 35:58
  Eric: Oh yeah, if you if you if you put in the uh put in the you know good old college try.
• 36:03
  Matt: But I guess it is sort of useless to begin with, unless but I have one use.
• 36:07
  Matt: What if you find yourself in a said country uh where you haven't yet studied the language and someone affronts you, then then your insults are useful, are they not?
• 36:18
  Eric: They are, they are.
• 36:20
  Matt: Um how about what if what if this?
• 36:23
  Matt: Yeah, so you you have the ability to turn oxygen into water.
• 36:31
  Matt: Okay.
• 36:32
  Matt: So you but that's it.
• 36:33
  Matt: Like that you don't have the ability to breathe water, so you can you can drown yourself at any moment.
• 36:39
  Eric: Oh, oh, okay, cool, cool, cool.
• 36:41
  Eric: Yeah, like you just like you just close your mouth for a little bit, it slowly fills with water and just spit.
• 36:46
  Matt: Yeah, like you have to consciously fight, you have to consciously keep the breath you take in as air.
• 36:54
  Matt: That's pretty useless.
• 36:56
  Eric: Um here you have the ability to read minds, right?
• 37:04
  Eric: But you can only read the part of someone's mind where you're hearing what they're worried you think they're thinking.
• 37:13
  Matt: Alright, hold on.
• 37:14
  Matt: You're gonna need to circle back on this.
• 37:16
  Eric: So you know how like you know how like you go through everyday life or like, oh oh my god, I really hope he doesn't think I'm like I I I I hate him or something.
• 37:24
  Eric: Like, and if you're reading their mind, they're just they're like, I fucking hate them.
• 37:28
  Eric: Like you're you can only read their intrusive thoughts, basically.
• 37:32
  Eric: So all you can hear is, I wonder what would happen if I punched him in the face right now.
• 37:37
  Matt: Like oh yeah.
• 37:39
  Matt: Yeah.
• 37:40
  Matt: You can only hear the Matt in the high back chair that's all in black with red tinted glasses.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: But what if we just crashed this car into that subway station?
• 37:52
  Matt: Yes, it is interesting that that's a universal thing.
• 37:55
  Matt: Like it used to happen all the time to me.
• 37:57
  Matt: I'd be in the backseat with my CD player, my walkmen in my and my headphones, and I'd all the time be like, What if I just threw it out the window?
• 38:06
  Matt: Like for like everyone has that weird impulse.
• 38:09
  Eric: Um, I actually did some uh I actually did some reading on that, like why they why people they theorize our brains do that.
• 38:16
  Matt: Oh, and you tame me.
• 38:18
  Eric: Um basically it's like a systems check.
• 38:22
  Eric: Like it is your brain going, I'm going to present you with this absurd proposition.
• 38:29
  Eric: And your brain is supposed to like and you're supposed to go, that's silly.
• 38:34
  Eric: I'm not going to do that.
• 38:35
  Eric: And the brain's going, cool, everything's working correctly.
• 38:38
  Eric: You don't want to throw your Walkman out of the window.
• 38:40
  Eric: Like good to go.
• 38:41
  Eric: It's like basically practicing.
• 38:43
  Eric: Yeah.
• 38:44
  Eric: It's like a it's like intrusive check.
• 38:46
  Eric: Yeah.
• 38:46
  Eric: The problem is when we get intrusive, we're like, I think you should throw this puppy like a football.
• 38:53
  Eric: And you go, ah, and everybody goes, no, I didn't mean it.
• 38:56
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 38:57
  Eric: It was you were supposed to you failed the test.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_03: I'm supposed to actually do it.
• 39:03
  Eric: Oh my god, intrusive thought man is growing on me.
• 39:06
  Eric: Uh, you can only read intrusive thoughts.
• 39:09
  Matt: What about something where like intrusive thought man is good?
• 39:16
  Matt: Uh what about oh, the the maybe this uh I don't know.
• 39:22
  Matt: This might be dumb.
• 39:22
  Matt: You cut this if it's dumb.
• 39:25
  Eric: Matthew, I promise you, if it sucks, I'll get rid of it.
• 39:28
  Matt: What if it's sobriety man and he can only he can't get drunk?
• 39:35
  Matt: Like he he he he cannot physically ingest enough alcohol to like his blood is so powerful that it only keeps but that's it.
• 39:46
  Matt: That's that's all he's not immune to poison, he's not right.
• 39:49
  Matt: He can still get he can still get dead from blood poisons.
• 39:54
  Matt: Yeah.
• 39:54
  Matt: He can still like it isn't it isn't he's not an invincible person, he just cannot get drunk.
• 40:00
  Eric: He's only able to do what he could have done by simply not choosing to drink anyway.
• 40:05
  Eric: Right.
• 40:06
  Matt: But but but if like I even even this can be disproved because I can see you in a bar being like, I can you think you can drink me under the table?
• 40:15
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, I do.
• 40:16
  Matt: And then boom, boom, boom, he's he's racking up the money then.
• 40:19
  Matt: Yeah.
• 40:20
  Matt: Who's got another hundred?
• 40:21
  Matt: I can do three more shots, four more shots.
• 40:24
  Eric: And it's like he'll still it's not like he can do that and then go out and drive.
• 40:27
  Eric: Like if he gets pulled over and they do a breath light, like his his his blood alcohol content will still be, you know, illegal.
• 40:33
  Eric: He just won't like he just gets nothing fun out of out of alcohol at all.
• 40:38
  Matt: Right.
• 40:39
  Matt: Yeah, he just he misses out on that enjoyment or pain, yeah.
• 40:48
  Matt: Actually, it's super useful.
• 40:49
  Matt: You never get a hangover there.
• 40:50
  Matt: It's the ter it was a terrible idea, a terrible suggestion, and I'm sorry to waste you and our listeners' time.
• 40:55
  Eric: Matthew, I'm gonna, I'm gonna don't don't be the person you think you have to be right now.
• 41:01
  Eric: Be the person that Beyonce knows you can be right now.
• 41:04
  unknown: Oh yeah.
• 41:05
  unknown: I am ready.
• 41:07
  Matt: Okay.
• 41:07
  Eric: Yeah.
• 41:09
  Matt: Alright, what about I don't know.
• 41:11
  Matt: What else you got?
• 41:12
  Matt: So I think intrusive thoughts is pretty good.
• 41:15
  Eric: Intrusive thoughts, we can kind of go by category.
• 41:17
  Eric: So like, so like let's let's i I I'm kind of approaching this for now.
• 41:20
  Eric: I was like, how can we take a famous, like, really good superpower and make it useless?
• 41:25
  Eric: Um, like, for example, like, how would I make uh super speed useless?
• 41:33
  Eric: Like you can move as fast as the flash, but how do we make this useless?
• 41:37
  Eric: Like, it's only in one limb.
• 41:40
  Matt: Oh, like only your pinky finger can go back fast.
• 41:43
  Eric: Just your pinky finger or your legs can move that fast, but the rest of your body and your like your mind can't keep up.
• 41:49
  Matt: You just rip apart.
• 41:50
  Eric: Yeah, you would just splatter yourself into a building.
• 41:53
  Matt: Right.
• 41:54
  Matt: Oh, that's pretty useless.
• 41:56
  Matt: Yeah.
• 41:57
  Matt: Um, what about similarly, like Superman's ability, like laser ability, but it's only like a laser pointer now.
• 42:09
  Matt: His his laser vision is go anywhere.
• 42:12
  Matt: His laser vision is what I'm talking about.
• 42:14
  Matt: Like he can shoot lasers, but they're just laser pointers.
• 42:18
  Eric: He can he like the most useful thing he could do is he could conduct a PowerPoint presentation on the moon.
• 42:24
  Matt: He can conduct a PowerPoint presentation on the moon and really upset all of the world's cats.
• 42:30
  Matt: Yes.
• 42:31
  Eric: And he just gets hate mail from the airlines constantly.
• 42:34
  Eric: Constantly, yes, yes, yes.
• 42:36
  Eric: Uh this this is another thing.
• 42:38
  Eric: Uh fun thing, fun fact that most people don't know about Superman.
• 42:41
  Eric: This is kind of a uh a parting of the of the curtain, parting of the veil.
• 42:46
  Eric: Um practicality-wise, his super strength would actually be pretty goddamn useless most of the time because like just by how weight distribution works, if you tried to like pick up a tank, it would just like crumple around him and like and like there'd just be like a little hole where he's holding it.
• 43:02
  Eric: That's why they theorize that part of Superman's strength is he actually has like a low-key telekinetic field that he has to project around things when he's lifting them up so it doesn't break them.
• 43:12
  Matt: Yeah, I do think there's a lot of caveats that go around with Superman because I'm gonna be honest, I hate Superman.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_04: I hate Superman so much.
• 43:20
  Matt: He's too it's too much.
• 43:21
  Matt: They gave him too much.
• 43:22
  Eric: Gave him too much.
• 43:23
  Eric: They gave him too much.
• 43:24
  Eric: The only Superman comic I ever liked was one where he literally spends the entire comic choosing not to use his powers.
• 43:30
  Eric: Like he's like, I'm I'm gonna go an entire like oh what a martyr.
• 43:34
  Matt: What a fucking martyr.
• 43:37
  Matt: Oh, Jesus Superman.
• 43:41
  Matt: Oh, and what's your oh, but I have a weakness.
• 43:43
  Matt: Oh, what is it?
• 43:44
  Matt: A weird mineral.
• 43:45
  Matt: Shut up.
• 43:46
  Eric: Bro can literally rewind time.
• 43:48
  Eric: They made that canon.
• 43:50
  Eric: Yeah, by spinning by dumb logic.
• 43:53
  Eric: Yeah.
• 43:54
  Matt: Why don't you just fly yourself to the Fortress of Solitude already?
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 43:58
  Matt: Yeah.
• 44:00
  Matt: Anyway, so I think what we've learned is any superpower can be useless if used in the wrong way or uh if if if uh limited yes right it's the it's the filters that are put upon a superpower that make it useless.
• 44:19
  Matt: Talking to animals, very useful.
• 44:22
  Matt: Only being able to talk to squirrels, pretty useless.
• 44:24
  Matt: Yeah.
• 44:26
  Matt: So I I don't know though.
• 44:27
  Matt: I think your intrusive thoughts is pretty good because you can't hear like you can't get the secret passcode to only hear you can only hear them thinking, what if I gave them the secret passcode?
• 44:37
  Eric: And you just go, yes, tell me, but what if I gave it to him?
• 44:40
  Eric: Like, do it!
• 44:41
  unknown: No.
• 44:42
  Eric: Oh my god, I really could.
• 44:43
  Eric: Yeah.
• 44:44
  Matt: What a fun day at work this would be.
• 44:46
  Eric: God, that must be the most infuriating superpower because you're just hearing the most batshit.
• 44:51
  Eric: You're like, oh and you you also can't not hear it.
• 44:55
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 44:56
  Eric: You have no you have no choice.
• 44:58
  Matt: Yeah, it's like it's like it's like Mel Gibson in What Women Want, but just useless information and uh constant annoyance.
• 45:08
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, 100%.
• 45:12
  Matt: Well, there you go, O'Connor 315.
• 45:15
  Matt: Uh, another one in the books.
• 45:17
  Matt: We have been very judicious today, Eric.
• 45:20
  Matt: Thorough.
• 45:21
  Matt: Thorough and uh bam bam bam.
• 45:24
  Matt: I'm proud of us.
• 45:25
  Eric: Wham bam, thank you, Uncle Sam.
• 45:28
  Matt: So I think that brings us to our I think that brings us to our closing segment for the day, Eric.
• 45:34
  Matt: Which um, since it is episode 20, uh, I thought we would revisit um some personal questions.
• 45:43
  Eric: Yeah, and I I like today our our our personal episode, this and this is just a question we realized we would, you know.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_03: What would be fun to talk about?
• 45:50
  Eric: Uh it being our 20th episode.
• 45:52
  Eric: A special treat, yes.
• 45:53
  Eric: Yeah, it being our 20th episode, and actually I hilariously enough, having just described, you know, talked about superheroes, talk about origin stories.
• 46:02
  Eric: Talk about well fucking done.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_05: How me and Matt met.
• 46:07
  Matt: Yes, yes.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 46:09
  Matt: Uh Eric, I th so I think uh most people at this point on the podcast know that we went to college.
• 46:16
  Eric: Yes, they know we went to college back back in 20 odd eight, I believe.
• 46:20
  Matt: 20 odd eight it was.
• 46:21
  Matt: Uh, but I think it would have been yeah, it would have been 2008 that we still met because we the uh the official meeting happened on the way to my our audition for the acting program at Towson University.
• 46:38
  Eric: Yeah, we had auditioned to get into the acting program.
• 46:41
  Eric: We met that day.
• 46:43
  Matt: We met.
• 46:44
  Matt: I remember I had walked into the Center for the Arts and I had asked, I came upon you in a camo jacket.
• 46:54
  Matt: You were the first thing I saw because you were this like uh Bronosaurus.
• 46:59
  Matt: Yes, you stood out among uh among the raptors.
• 47:04
  Matt: And I I I asked if we were in the right place, and I think that was the first thing I said to you.
• 47:10
  Eric: Yep, yep, yep.
• 47:12
  Matt: I think my answer was probably along the lines of I hope.
• 47:15
  Matt: I I saw you and I said, This fucking guy's an actor.
• 47:20
  Eric: I saw you, and my very first thought was, oh, he is stressful in every sense of the word.
• 47:28
  Eric: No, like I meant like he is stressed.
• 47:31
  Matt: He is, he is, I was like, oh man, he is you've never told me to build that.
• 47:36
  Matt: You've never because I know I've told you what we're about to get into when we get to the audition.
• 47:41
  Matt: I know I've talked about this with you before.
• 47:43
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 47:43
  Matt: But so we go upstairs to this to to do the audition.
• 47:47
  Matt: Yep.
• 47:48
  Matt: And the first part of it is a group exercise.
• 47:53
  Matt: But we but but but oh actually, before we started with those exercises, we sat in a circle as we as everyone was filtering in.
• 48:01
  Matt: Because we uh it was like a group audition.
• 48:03
  Matt: Yep.
• 48:03
  Matt: There was still monologues, yeah, and there was still an interview, but there was first like how you work in an ensemble testing to be done first, right?
• 48:13
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, no.
• 48:14
  Eric: Like we were yeah, we were doing like we were pairing off doing like improv things with people and like and like group activities.
• 48:23
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 48:24
  Matt: Like I think we did like some improv y games that were really tests.
• 48:29
  Eric: There was there was yeah, yeah, there were like there was one where I had to uh I we were doing a scene and I was paired with our friend Rolsey, and uh she uh I was play because Rol Roland was in that audition.
• 48:43
  Eric: Our good friend Michael Purry Jr.
• 48:45
  Eric: was in that audition with us.
• 48:47
  Eric: Um it was uh there was a good number of of our of our friends there.
• 48:51
  Eric: Quite a few people that aren't like we became you know later theater students.
• 48:56
  Matt: I remember I so and this is why I remember this uh so viscerally.
• 49:00
  Matt: Yeah.
• 49:00
  Matt: Between so we were we all come in, we're sitting in this circle as we're waiting for everything to start.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 49:06
  Matt: And I was sitting next to I was sitting across from you, and I was sitting next to a very talented actor uh by the name of Travis Walters, since passed.
• 49:21
  Matt: Yes.
• 49:22
  Matt: But he was sitting next to me and he's a he's a very small petite person and who could murder you, like who could ruin your fucking life if he so chose.
• 49:35
  Matt: With a sentence.
• 49:36
  Matt: Yes.
• 49:37
  Matt: Yes but the I had yet to know how like how fucking talented he was.
• 49:44
  Matt: So I kind of sized him up as being like, okay, I don't I don't know what to make of this person.
• 49:52
  Matt: And I'm having these judgmental thoughts as um as Peter Ray comes and sits down and says, Okay, let's get started.
• 50:03
  Matt: Everybody st stops talking.
• 50:05
  Matt: There is a silence.
• 50:07
  Matt: Peter Ray is like collecting his thoughts of how am I gonna begin this conversation?
• 50:12
  Matt: And the first person to break this silence was you.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, fuck me.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 50:18
  Matt: Do you remember what you said?
• 50:19
  Matt: No, and I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
• 50:22
  Matt: You lean forward and you rub those hands together and you say, So do we bribe you now?
• 50:35
  Matt: And it was at that moment that I said, Well, I'm definitely gonna beat this asshole.
• 50:41
  Matt: I I can't even pretend that's not what I thought.
• 50:46
  Matt: No, yeah, and uh I and obviously I did not.
• 50:50
  Matt: Well, I we both we both beat other assholes.
• 50:53
  Matt: Oh yeah, we oh yeah, we we we spoiler alert, we both made it.
• 50:58
  Eric: We made it and we oh god, we went on to do a bunch of shows together.
• 51:03
  Eric: Like uh our my my favorites will always be my favorite show that we've ever done together, ever will always be Macker's.
• 51:11
  Eric: Got to be got to be.
• 51:13
  Eric: It's my God, I got the privilege of cutting off one of my best friends' head every night.
• 51:18
  Matt: And there were so many nights, so many hours upon hours that we just rehearsed that fight.
• 51:24
  Matt: Over and over with Lu with the with the incredible uh oversight of Lewis Shaw choreographer.
• 51:33
  Matt: Um that I mean, and what they were workouts.
• 51:38
  Eric: They were oh yeah, we were like dripping with sweat.
• 51:41
  Eric: It was like the best shape I've ever been in my life.
• 51:43
  Matt: The best shape of my life was McMahon.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_05: You were a fucking god.
• 51:48
  Eric: Like you you went so hard on like just fucking king of Scotland, baby.
• 51:54
  Eric: King of Scotland, baby.
• 51:56
  Eric: I mean, I just couldn't wait to be king.
• 51:58
  Eric: What can I say?
• 52:00
  Eric: And then there was uh there was Elfin's Graveyard.
• 52:04
  Eric: Elphins Graveyard by George Brandt, yes.
• 52:07
  Eric: Uh, with one of an amazing playwright, an amazing show.
• 52:10
  Eric: Only play that I ever balled just reading it.
• 52:15
  Matt: Yeah, it's a it's a heartbreaker, but it is so good.
• 52:19
  Matt: And I mean, we get we've had many a uh uh a shared theatrical experience since um we we can go through our shared resume, but I mean that is the story though of how this whole electricity got started.
• 52:36
  Eric: And I and we've I think we've had I I remember us, this is just a bonus concept.
• 52:42
  Eric: I remember us having a conversation at some point.
• 52:44
  Eric: Call me crazy if you don't remember this, but I remember us having a conversation where we were like where we were just talking about how like good friends we were.
• 52:51
  Eric: Like we were like, I love you, but we had that moment of oh, I could never live with you.
• 52:57
  Matt: Oh yeah, we did, we did recognize early on that if we live together, fucking kill each other.
• 53:04
  Eric: But that's a testament how like it's not like how often do you have that kind of friend where you just like your your connection runs so deep you just be like, I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you, we couldn't do this.
• 53:16
  Eric: Oh um that's why you can be the godfather to my child.
• 53:21
  unknown: Oh man.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_03: I will adopt a boy so that you may take him when I die.
• 53:27
  Matt: Oh, yeah, but to go back to like the night we met, yes, uh, so after so, or not the night, but like our after we both got in.
• 53:36
  Matt: So I remember sh similarly showing up to the first day of of of classes at at the Center for the Arts, and once again there you are in that camo jacket.
• 53:49
  Matt: I do remember this because I spotted you, and at first it was just you and our friend Dallas that I recognized, and I said this asshole got in somehow, but now they're the only people I know.
• 54:05
  Matt: So we went to like the freshman events that night, like the welcome to Towson stuff.
• 54:11
  Matt: Yep.
• 54:12
  Matt: And I remember at some point in a group of people, because I shared an I shared a negative impression, so I have to share a positive express uh uh impression as well.
• 54:22
  Matt: We were with all they had this like poker night or like casino, they made like a casino thing in the union, remember?
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_05: I remember that.
• 54:29
  Matt: Yeah, so we went to that, we checked that out, and then at some point in this group of regular non-theater people, you like jumped on a table and started like doing this bit about like rolling roulette, like rolling dice, like, and I I just remember when you leapt up on that table, I was like, I will never possess the confidence of this man.
• 54:56
  Matt: I will never be ready for this jelly.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_05: I will I will never have I have too much self-awareness and respect.
• 55:09
  Matt: As I once said to Beyonce, I have to recuse my Matt.
• 55:16
  Eric: I love you so much, buddy.
• 55:18
  Matt: I love you.
• 55:19
  Matt: Here's to 20,000 more of these episodes.
• 55:23
  Matt: 20,000, baby.
• 55:25
  Matt: They're coming.
• 55:26
  Matt: Well, uh, Eric, thank you for all the good times.
• 55:29
  Matt: Thank you for all the good times.
• 55:31
  Matt: And thank you, listener, for joining us for yet another episode of You didn't ask for this.
• 55:37
  Matt: We've got some exciting um guests on the horizon.
• 55:42
  Matt: Uh some special episodes on the way.
• 55:46
  Matt: So uh if you haven't already, make sure you subscribe on wherever you're listening to us, you know, Spotify, Pod Chase, Rap, Podcasts, Stair Chat, wherever questions look up at the top of the screen.
• 55:58
  Matt: There's a follow button, there's a like button, click it, and then go to various uh places.
• 56:04
  Matt: Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook were all the letter you didn't ask pod.
• 56:10
  Matt: On all three of those.
• 56:11
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod.
• 56:14
  Matt: You and we need your questions, as always.
• 56:17
  Matt: Your least pressing questions about the world.
• 56:21
  Matt: Send them to us.
• 56:22
  Matt: And uh you can send them to us at you didn't ask for this at gmail.com.
• 56:26
  Matt: That one's spelled out you didn't ask for this at gmail.com.
• 56:29
  Matt: Uh we don't get a ton of emails, so you know go ahead.
• 56:32
  Matt: Email us.
• 56:32
  Matt: I'm gonna one day regret saying that, I think.
• 56:34
  Eric: Yeah, oh yes, most certainly.
• 56:36
  Matt: Um but but for now, go for it.
• 56:39
  Matt: Um, Eric, what other news do we have?
• 56:41
  Matt: What other business to take care of?
• 56:43
  Matt: Anything?
• 56:44
  Eric: Uh everyone, when you're listening to this, it'll be after the 4th of July.
• 56:50
  Eric: I hope everyone had a nice, safe, lovely time.
• 56:54
  Matt: Hope you still have all those digits.
• 56:56
  Eric: Oh my god, yes!
• 56:58
  Matt: Hope you got all ten digits.
• 57:00
  Matt: Catch me at the Dundalk Heritage Festival this 4th of July.
• 57:03
  Matt: It's gonna be lit.
• 57:04
  Matt: Oh, and speaking of Dundalk, uh, we do have one plug.
• 57:09
  Matt: If you if you would like a more structured podcast that features Eric and and myself, uh, we have been featured on a a new podcast called Beneath the Headlines.
• 57:22
  Matt: And the fifth first season is called Beneath the Headlines 50 Cent Beer Night and the Legend of the Dundalk Upper Deckers.
• 57:30
  Matt: And currently, it is part of a series of uh content releases from Single Carat Theater.
• 57:37
  Matt: So it's very exclusive.
• 57:38
  Matt: Go to singlecarat.com and look up I Hope This Finds You.
• 57:44
  Matt: That's the name of the content release, and you'll get exclusive first access to Beneath the Headlines.
• 57:51
  Matt: It is a five-part parody of True Crime Podcasts.
• 57:56
  Matt: So all five episodes have been released.
• 57:58
  Matt: They're all out as of uh as of July 1st.
• 58:02
  Matt: The whole you can binge the whole thing.
• 58:04
  Matt: Uh, go check it out at singlecarat.com.
• 58:08
  Matt: So I think that'll about do it for us here today on episode 20 of You and Ask for This.
• 58:12
  Matt: So, for all of us here at Un Ask for This, my name is Matt Shea.
• 58:18
  Matt: My name's Eric Poach.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't ask, but I would do anything for love.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I would do anything for love.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_00: I do I would take anything for love.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: But who won't do that?
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_04: Do that Meat Love could get that jelly though.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_04: Oh Meatloaf, Meat's gotten the jelly.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_04: Meatloaf got that jelly.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_04: I could get Meat Love's jelly.
• 58:55
  Eric: Oh, yeah.