Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – do you have food at home?

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – do you have food at home? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Now here we go, there we go.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Here.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: He's another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM Mornings,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: KFM Mornings.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, so let's see on the census survey how many
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: guesses SIPs will start with you?
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: It's always nine, ten, eleven or twelve.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, but you need to pack one horse here.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with eleven questions, Laren, okay, REMI, I'm
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: gonna go with ten questions today.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Ten questions? All right, let's bring in venners.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think seven sounds good this morning. Oh, you
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: want to be the contrarian there, you want to be controversial?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, sub ten okay, producer bread fifteen, yeah, I love it,
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: a lot of faith. Okay. Well, I'm confused about what
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: numbers you guys have actually picked up, but I think
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: one of you is correct.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Can you know how many questions you asked?
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: You? No? I do, but I forget what numbers you
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: all said, because you just literally cost the net very wide. Okay,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: but look it doesn't really mean anything. Did you get
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: it right? On? Two? Nine four five zero nine four zero? Well,
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: this is where I found up a random person. I
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: seem really ridiculous but also hectically important questions at the
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: same time, all in the interest of saving South Africa.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Hectically important, technically important. Yeah, that that's the underlying mot
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: ay save South Africa sweep. Yeah. Okay, so here it
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: is good morning, Good morning, ma'am. I made in three
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: one nine six two. I need you ask you a
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: couple of questions for your country that you didn't fill
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: out on your senseless form. Will let me take about
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: thirty seconds, Okay, ma'am. When you started paying balls, did
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: you realize that your mom was right and that you
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: do have food at home? Yes? Is the only difference
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: between relaxation and boredom is the ability for enjoyment. What
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: this question is all about, ma'am. It's the sense of survey.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: You didn't answer all your questions on the census form. Okay,
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: let's just keep going and like I said, long take
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: you thirty seconds. Do you enjoy sitting down in a
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: public bathroom on a warm seat? No is aar popular
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: because it gives dumb people the illusion that they are smart,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: and uncreative people the illusion that they are artistic. Yeah,
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Did you ever stop to think that
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: in a hundred years, Facebook and other social media will
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: have billions of accounts of dead people. Who dead people
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Facebook dead people?
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Then they're always communicate each other all the time. That's
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: the tricky question you give.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Would you bar perfume called wet dog? Wet dog? No?
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: No?
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: On a scale of one to adele? How bad was
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: your last breakup.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, my last boyfriend?
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Let's say seven? Do you think people would still fish
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: if fish could scream? No? Does it make you sad
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: that crocodiles can't play the trumpet? No? Does it make
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: you happy that crocodiles can play the drums?
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: No?
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: How long were you and your husband dating before you
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: stopped holding in your farts? O my part? Yeah, I
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: love it.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Three months?
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: What a woman dynamic?
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Absolute class. That's a ricky question. She answerd a question
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: and then politely hung up.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Three months is pretty pretty good. But listen that the question. Now,
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: has it ever been truer to you since you had kids?
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Go ahead?
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: Where you where you go? Look? Now? I get it
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: from my mom and dad. You know what when they
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: said we have food at home? One, we have food
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: at home?
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: That no truer words. But the kids want sushi at
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: home they want they want.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: I don't want bread. Yeah, I don't want bread jam.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Like my daughter says. I want real food, a wag steak.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: You know. I had this yesterday when my wife went
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: off with the ladies for a lovely spa day and
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: she was the whole day and I was feeding the kids,
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: because that's what it is, from waking up to going
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: to bed. It's just feeding them, just feeding, feeding, feeding. Okay, guys,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: let's have some toast. What toast? Yes, what's wrong with toast?
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: I'll make it nice with cheese dead. It's dinner, you joking?
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: So what do you want? Pasta?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, steak, get the pots out, real food, get the
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: pants out, Darren.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And then I was like, okay, but there isn't
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: there's no steak. I don't freeze steak. Yeah the pasta,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Oh no, that's a big story. Toast, guys, Come on, No,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: So we ended up going out for pizza.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Which was their plan all along.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: See who's the problem, who's the problem? Yeah, it's the
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: parents me. Pizza was nice, though I did prefer to
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: the cheese toasters. About to make it's team in parlor
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Worth regular on k morning. All right, let's go let's
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: go here. We are the will of Joy. Mandy from Tuckai.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: How's it Mandy? Hey, it's actually Mandy from on the way.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Did you know Mandy from Hout Bay? Hey?
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Are you getting us there in Bay? Mandy? When you
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: when you're there?
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Do I do get you? We didn't deny it. Yeah,
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: we we were busy trying to get because you know,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: there's you know, it's a frequent seas and there's a
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: few dead spots here and there because of a hill
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: or a mountain and stuff. But we eventually get a
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: transmitter up. There is a stall licensing and government red tape,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. So so sorry, Mandy, you're
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: from Heart Bay, not from Takay. Sorry? Was that a downgrade?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I grew up in our there. We came back to
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: our bays the best. Okay, we're all coming. What's hot, Manny?
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah? There are You know, when I was moving to
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Cape Town, that was the first place that I looked
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Heart Bay and it's just suggest bay.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: They used to chase cows for dawn in the morning
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: because there was that small and now and now you
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: struggle to find property in Heart Base.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, now it's now it's packed, beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Okay, Mandy,
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: how many questions did I ask this morning? Eleven is
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: a correct answer. Okay, let's see what you get. Okay,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: So we've got some really cool prizes. The os Scream
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: might be a bit of a drive because you're ready
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: out there in Hard Bay. So this is Blowburg Side
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: from Olivia Gray. We've got a wonderful thing there and
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: a three thousand rand vager to Cubana Foreshore or All Table.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: We got a whole bunch of things. We've got a
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: dining experience for two and a small one pairing at
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Belly of the Beast. That's three and a half thousand.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: That is amazing at Belly of the Beast.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, one of the best restaurants in Cape Town.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Well, we'll give you nothing but the best. Okay. So Mandy,
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: how do you want to me to spend at Foster Slow?
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Left or right? Let's go counter clap clockwise and fast. Okay,
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: so that's to the left. Yeah, think about that. Yeah.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Now I'm just telling John who's spinning the world? We
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: have a human spinning. Yeah. This is not a sound effect,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: this is an actual spinning wheel.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: The wheel.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: What's your job uspin a wheel. Okay, what have you got? Okay,
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: this this is this is actually this has taken off.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: So you've got tickets for four people to the Monday
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: murder meetups. Now it sounds quite ominous, especially when you're
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: in the murder capital of of Africa.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: That's bleak.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Well actually, actually actually hold on, you're not Peter Merrisburgers,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Peter Merrisburgers. We are Cape Town's actually way down that
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: list now, which is fantastic. Okay, but look, you've got
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: three course tapas menu at Beauchamp Wine Ball and East. Um.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: It's called Dinners to die for. So it's a whole lucky,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: a mystery evening and it's it's a fun thing. It's
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: just that sounds amazing. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, it's
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: a it's a cool night out with you and the
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: three people, fun and games and lack of chow and
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: all sorts. Joy.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: That sounds exactly very very keen.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Okay, many amazing safe drive to tucaiy.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Bye, thank you, I just passed.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, yes, bye, okay. That was the wheel of Joy,
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: by the way, So now there's an opening for another
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: small business to send a prize. If you so wish
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: mornings at KFM see you need to prop us an
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: email the anytime and then over the next few days