Latest / Dear Chelsea / Love, Loss and Lasering Your Ladyparts with LadyGang

Transcript

Love, Loss and Lasering Your Ladyparts with LadyGang · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi everybody. While I'm taking the month of September off
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: of doing stand up, I return on October one to
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: complete my vaccinated and Horny tour October, November and December.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: I have new dates up. I kick it off in Saratoga, California,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: and I'm coming to all parts of California, Long Beach
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Baker's field. I'm going to Niagara Falls, Tucson, Arizona, Colorado, Minneapolis,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: San Diego, reading Pennsylvania and Baltimore, Maryland, just to name
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: a few. There's also some Floridian dates in there, since
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: this will be my last year that I'm able to
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: go inside the state of Florida. SO CHECK OUT CHELSEA
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: HANDLER DOT COM for more stand up dates for my
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: vaccinated in Horny tour. These are my last dates. Hi, Catherine,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Hello Chelsea, how are you? Hello, hello, hi, guys, guess
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: where we are? We're in Majorca. Hello, Buenos Diaz. Told
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: hends that means whatever. We are in Ma Orca. Guys,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Catherine is here with her a lovely husband, Brad, who
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: also works on our podcast with us, and we are
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: just partying it up in Spain. You know that in
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Spain mushrooms are legal. We Really. Yes, when I was
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: in New York I passed out so many mushrooms to
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: so many random people, whether we were at the US Open,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: whether we were at bars. I was just like here,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: put your finger in this, just dip it in, like
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: it's like almost like a chew like tobacco, because I
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: have this like little pill container filled with mushrooms and
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I just figure if I ever get caught with it
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: going through T S A, I'll just say it's my
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: mother's ashes. There you go, my sister. I gave it
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: to to my friends when I was in New York
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: City and I was like here, dip your finger in this,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: and then they both did and they're like this isn't
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: gonna be too strong, right. I go no, no, it's
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: gonna be fine, and then I was like those are
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: my mother's ashes. Probably tastes about the same, right I've yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: For anybody WHO's snorted somebody else's ashes, you know what
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Well, I have a couple of follow
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: ups today, Chelsea. Okay, great, this one I just kind
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: of thought was really funny. Chelsea, I just wanted you
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: to know that I'm a Baptist who has enjoyed you
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: for years. I don't agree with your opinions a percent
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: of the time, but that's okay. I don't agree with
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: my pastor a percent of the time either. I just
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: wanted you to know that many Christians put love first.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Loving one another is the greatest commandment of all. I
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: don't do everything perfectly, but I am secure in knowing
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: that God just expects me to try and be a
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: good person, have a sense of humor and be open
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: to hearing other perspectives, even if I don't agree with them.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: So I hope hearing from a fan who is also
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: a Christian will make a positive impression on you. Take Care, Angela.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Oh and she also said Uganda was her favorite special.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Oh well, there will be a new special coming out
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: soon and that will be your new favorite. But thank you.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that. And, Um, Huh, what do I I
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: just thought it was cute. Yeah, it's cute. I liked it.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I like that you have differing opinions than I do
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: and you're willing to sit and listen to me. That's
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: nice and I hope that I can do the same
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: for people who have differing opinions from me, and I
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: try very hard to do that, and all of our
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: listeners should too. Write. You know, as long as somebody's
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: not being hateful and acting in love, and they're not
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: being discriminatory or racist or sexist, then I think that
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: whatever smokes, what's the saying? Whatever rocks the whatever rocks
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: your cock? No, whatever floats your bone. I could have remever,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: whatever floats your boat. Yeah, that's what I meant to say.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: It's more appropriate for Antela than the first one. Yeah,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: and then a couple of other ones. These are sort
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: of on the same theme, but these were responses too,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: after we had talked to Dan savage and you had
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: talked about like being on the playground and my hesturbating
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: for the first time and all that. But Jenna says,
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I just have to say I learned
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: another reason why I connect with you so much. I
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: just finished the bathhouse episode with Dan Savage. Yes, I'm behind.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: My first orgasm was also on the playground, climbing the
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: support stand of the swing set. I just had to
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: tell you that. I love you, Jenna. Oh, Jenna, Jenna,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: do you know how many of us probably have masturbated
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: on playground equipment? I mean all of us. That's a
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: comfort to a lot of people because, yeah, you feel
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: such shame, like you're the only one. That's the important
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: thing for all of our listeners to remember. You're never
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: the only one who did anything. So if you feel
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: embarrassed or shameful about something, just no, there's a bunch
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: of people out there in the world who have also
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: done the same exact thing, no matter what the funk
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: it is. Yeah, well, and that actually leads me right
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: into the next email, which is on the same topic. Hi, Chelsea,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to send a quick email after catching
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: up on the pod. I had a similar experience to
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Chelsea with masturbation as a child and the shame I
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: still carey about it today, making it honestly a little
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: hard to type this email. I just wanted to say
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Chelsea's openness about her experience really was so helpful to
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: me and lifted a lot of those feelings of shame
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: right off my shoulders. I really appreciate your discussion surrounding
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: the topic and it meant a lot to me. Thank you.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: I love the podcast so much. People in my life
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: are sick of hearing me talk about it all the time.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Andrea sick of hearing you talk about the podcast. You're
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: talking about masturbating. That's funny. Both good, good. Yeah, we
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: should got to talk about more embarrassing I'll have to
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: think of some more embarrassing things, Catherine, that I've done,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: and I mean I that there is no end out
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: of the things that I have experienced or done. I
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: love it. You're just out here doing the Lord's work.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: It's great. Yeah, that's right. Oh, also, guys, we have merch.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: We have dear Chelsea Merch, we have vaccinated in Horny Merch.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I have these awesome band t shirts now and we
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: have podcast merch. So go to Chelsea handler DOT COM
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to check it out and make your purchase. So our
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: guests today, let's get to our guests today. We have
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: three guests together because they come as a package. They
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: are promoting their second book, which is called Lady's secrets.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: It's out. September, means it is out and they're coinciding
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Lady Secrets Tour that has kicked in September one, and
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: they are New York Times best selling authors and hosts
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: of the Lady Gang podcast, and their names are Jack Vanneck,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Kelty Knight and Becca Tobin. Hi, girls, hi, hi, hi,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, it's a lady gang. Oh ship, let
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: me get my ship together. Hi Girls, how are you?
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: We're so nervous. Don't be nervous, don't be silly. Come on,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: we're so excited to be here. Katherine, I love seeing
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: your face. I've been imagining it for so many months
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: now and you're cuter than I imagined. Thank you. Likewise,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: look at you all. This is we're such fans of
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: the show, so this is very streal. So thank you.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm so excited to have you guys back.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I'm glad we could reciprocate. Awesome. Okay, so our guests
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: today are a great group of ladies that I have.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Don't say ladies. It's like saying gals. I don't like.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I would like to make an announcement. I don't like
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: when people refer to women as Gals. That puts you
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: into a generation that can't relate to broads. It's very
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: similar to rod rods, but that's from men, because no
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: woman's like that. I met abroad, but Gal. It reminds
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: me of like George W Bush would say something like that.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: So I don't want to say Gals, and I don't
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: even like girls anymore. I just want to say guys
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: about everybody, and I don't know if that implies some
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: sort of sexism, but I just think we should all
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: be considered guys because we're a group. But Anyway, okay, girls,
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: let's delve into your new book without me describing it.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I'd rather you guys describe it more actively. Okay. So
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: leady's secrets is a collection of secrets from the three
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: of us, as well as our community of leading from
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: all over the world. When we wrote our first book
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: called act like a lady. We all kind of have
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: little anecdotes from our lives, plus some advice that we
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: were given, like giving to all of our ladies out there.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: And it turns out nobody cares about our advice. Nobody
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: wanted the advice because it was questionable at bout and
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: a lot of the time we're just like, drink a
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: bottle of wine when all else feel as it'll fix
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: all your problems. But they really loved our stories. So
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: we kind of dug really deep, went into like repressed
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: memories that we'd have, things that we've tried to block
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: out forever, and came up with some of our deepest,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: darkest secrets to include in the book. And the leading
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: gang is so much bigger than the three of us.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: It's all about our community, so we thought it was
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: only right that we include them into the process as well.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: So we set up a hotline called one four or
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: four sexy lady, where girls would call in and anonymously
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: share their secrets. We had an online submission form. We
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: got thousands and thousands of secrets and the best made
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: it into this little baby right here. I love it.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: I love it. So what did you guys learn? Everyone's
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: cheating on their husbands and they don't care and they
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: don't get caught because women are smarter than men. Yeah,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I just came from a lunch with two people who
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: were talking about cheating on their spouses and I was
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: just like, who's got that kind of energy? And they
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: were like, I don't even want to have sex spouse
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: number one. Exactly. Nobody wants to have sex with anybody
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: for a long period of time and that's just natural behavior.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: But I don't know, cheating and not cheating, it's like
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: it's not even a moral issue, it's an energy issue,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: it's true, and sex is always so much better what
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: a stranger. So that's, I feel like, where everybody is
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: like reaching for. When that comes out. Well, sex is
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: better with a stranger, but it's also better in the beginning,
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: like any new relationship is always sexually like explosive, because
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: you're like Oh, oh, oh, yeah, I could be, but
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: you know, everything is like a new rebirth, even though
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: you've done this a million times with different people. You're like,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: oh no, this is great and then and it's very
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: hard to sustain any sort of newness, which is the
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: big problem here. Well, what's interesting is the only women
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I know who are sucking their husbands and want to
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: be is because they're the women who are being cheated
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: on and they know it. They like feel it in
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: their bones, because it's that Weird Butterfly thing that you get.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: You think that that's because you're excited, but really it's
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: just the nervousness and insecurity, and so those are the
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: women that are fucking their husband's night and day. They're
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: being cheated on. So, yeah, does this mean I have
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: to have a really intense conversation with my husband after this?
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Oh No, you do have good sex. The exception to
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: the role you know. Yeah, I told him, I was
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: like we might need to after this recording today, just
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: like mid day for you, and then you call out
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: in the Middle Lady Gang, Lady Gang told me you
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: were cheating. How are each of your individual romantic lives?
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: What's The lowdown? So I've been married to my husband, Chris,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: who is a music manager, and he we've been together
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: twelve years, married nine, and I'm like, uh, you don't
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: ask about my sex life and I was gonna go
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: right into like I like a nipple Tassel. That's how
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I keep it alive. But like, you didn't even ask that.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Why am I like? Oh my God, I went right
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: into my horizontal life, like right now. Okay, sorry, I
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: didn't just Chelsea was here and pasties. She does love
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: a nipple Tassel and somehow it goes into every interview
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: that we do. She interjects it somehow or enough. I'm
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: so proud I have it's not an appropriate time. Um,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: I have been with my partners jared, for a little
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: bit over four years. We got engaged last year, hopefully
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: getting married next year, if I can ever actually plan
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: a wedding, which I was daunting and I keep pushing
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: it like out of my sight. But yeah, and then
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Becca married for almost six years and we have a
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: six month old baby. So we barely have sex and
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: anytime he looks at me when I'm naked, I'm like please,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: don't even think about it, I don't have energy. Yeah,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: get away from me, get away from me. And how
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: did you three come together? So kelty and I were
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: in our twenties dancers in New York, not with tassels,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: we were like Broadway dancers, roquettets and all that kind
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: of fun stuff, and then we just both happened to
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: land in Hollywood at the same time. I was an
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: actress and Kelty was doing entertainment journalism, and we kept
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: seeing each other on red carpets and may king eye
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: contact and being like isn't this the weirdest place you've
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: ever been? Like what is this? L A so weird?
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: We always feel bad about ourselves. So we had a
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: salad at Cafe One oh one one day and Kelty
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: has just always been a really like a pioneer of
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: the digital space, and we were like, we want to
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: talk show, but no one's going to give us that
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: because we're not anyone famous as kids. We don't have
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: a lot of money, like we have absolutely no like
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: nobody's going to give us what we want. So Kelsey
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: called me one day and she said, let's start a podcast.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: And this was twenty like the end of and I
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: had no idea what a podcast was. I was like,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Adam Corolla, is that like what you're talking about? Yeah,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: so then we kelty was like no, it's it's podcasting.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: That's the future and we can do proof of concept
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: with a podcast. But the problem is is we had
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: no third person with any street credibility. We needed somebody
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: who was in the Business World, an entrepreneur self starter,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: not really somebody in Hollywood. So Jack and Kelty have
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: a mutual ex boyfriend and Kelty stalked Jack for a
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: really long time because she thought she was like the
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: coolest girl ever. And we just reached out to her
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: and like, do you want to start a podcast? And
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Jack had she's such a fun, like good time girl,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: her answer. She had no idea what it was and
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: she was like, sounds fun. She didn't know seven years
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: later we would be routing our tour across America and
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: crying everything. I didn't feel like I have to go
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: to twin falls, Idaho. Fuck you, guys, grand rabbits. Literally,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: when we had our show for a blip on e
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: that got almost instantly canceled. So our talk show idea
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: did not work out. Jack's biggest problem with it, because
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: she's so out of Hollywood, was that she had to
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: wear a bra on television. She's like, I can't wear
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: a low cut shirt like I have to, and we're
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: like at least a nipple cover and she's like no,
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: like this is when I lose my identity and I'm
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: not down for it. I was like I need to
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: have either a nipple kind of showing through a shirt
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: or like a V down to my belly button. So
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I wasn't getting that. So I'm very glad and that's
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: why I got sold. They went the nibbles out. I
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: think we would have been more successful. How long, how
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: short lived was the show? How long was it on?
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: For Sixteen episode? It was seventeen very grueling, hellish episodes. Ye,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: for me. And then so that show got canceled and
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: then we decided to write a book and then Earth
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: got canceled during the pandemic. So we released that book
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: into a void of nothingness and we didn't get to
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: tour it or do anything. And now and now we're
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: out here and it's so difficult for me to be
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: on this podcast because I just want to be like, Chelsea,
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: are you doing late night, like what is happening? If
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: you want to talk about it, you can talk about it,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: but like we need to we need to know. I'm
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I'm in discussions to talk about it. I'm ready. After
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: I did Jimmy Kimmel for a week like a few
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: months ago, I just was like, Oh, this is such
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: a there's such a dearth. Hey, like I don't even
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: want to have to be responsible for that, but at
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: the same time I'm exactly the person that will be
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: responsible for that. Like women need a voice right now,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: especially with all this disgusting turmoil about our rights being
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: stripped away and gay people and and and a contraception
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: and just what what's coming next? You know, like all
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: of it is just like the fact that there are
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: not women on late night in a big way. I
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: mean there's Amber Ruffin, who's on peacock, who's doing an
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: incredible job, but Samantha B got canceled. Like you can't
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: cancel a woman, right now. I'm sorry, like you just can't,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: because as if these fucking guys are just telling the story.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: They're not. The story is has to be told by
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: a woman. Now. Yeah, so I am in discussions to
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: do that. I have to do it at a much
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: more minimum, minimal commitment, because I don't want to do
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: a show five nights a week. But I'm just trying
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: to figure out, you know, where that place is and
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: what the right approaches. So I appreciate you saying that
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: and I do feel a big responsibility to show up.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: You're like the only one, like if anyone's going to
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: get this job, which is so sad that there's like
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: a tiny half seat at the table and we're like hey,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: we could maybe get a woman, and then there's like
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: one that has the career that could possibly be like
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: given this opportunity like it should be. There should be
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: ten Chelseas that are all fighting for ten spots or whatever,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: but the fact that there's like one you and one
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: half seat is so disheartening. But like we need you,
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: we want you, like if there's anything we can do
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: to help, like I literally will start a petition. Ah,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: you guys are the best. That's so sweet. I will
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: make it happen, but I also will make it happen
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: so that there is a door open for ten other
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: women to take that place of me, because there's no
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: reason that that this dearth the imbalance, after everything that
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: we've been discussing for the last five years between men
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: and women and the imbalance of power, and Hollywood pretending
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: they're on board but not really being on board, because
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: if they were, there would be women represented, and it's bullshit.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: It's fucking bullshit, and any executive that doesn't want to
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: pull the trigger and say yes, okay, let's give a
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: voice to women now. This is enough with these five men,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: you know, who basically are rotating the same thoughts with
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: different hairstyles. Well, actually the same hairstyle. Anyway, girls, back
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: to you. Okay, so I got the low down from
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: your relationships. I love that. How does the dining AMC
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: work between the three of you, because that's an odd pairing.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: You know, two is different than three. So can you
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: speak a little bit about those dynamics? They were great
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: until I had a kid. Yeah, you made your bed.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: You made your bed and now you need to lie
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: in it. I know it's really fucking hard. I thought
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I was going to be exempt from like having feelings
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: and feeling obligated and having the guilt. It's all bullshit
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: and I thought I was going to be an exception
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: to the rule, and I'm not. However, up until six
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: months ago, we have a stellar dynamic because we don't
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: hold anything in. We let it out. We take nothing personally,
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: we trust each other. We all have very different things
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: that were really great at, and so we stay in
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: our lanes. Let's talk about that for a second, because
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I think that's a really important thing to identify as
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: any person, but specifically for women. Like to identify your
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: attributes and your strength. So let's go around back and
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: you start like tell me what your strengths are. I'm
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: like the big picture person and I have you know,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Kelty says, if we need an idea, I'm really great
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: at figuring out what that is, and she's the executor.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: So it's like I have these big dreams and Kelty
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: really does hit the pavement. She calls whoever needs to
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: be called. She doesn't take no for an answer. We
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: say that if Jack and I were doing this alone,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: we'd still be sitting at the Cafe One oh one,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: like mapping out the format of the podcast. Kelty gets
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: it done, and then Jack is this insane creative where
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: everything you look at, everything you touch, all the aesthetics
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: of the brand and really like the voice of the
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: brand comes from Jack, because her history is in creating it.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: She has a clothing line. She was the original, like
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: the O g of the Sassy t shirt, where it
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: was like I'm Maria fucking sunshine, and then everybody ripped
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: her off. But that's her brain and it's crazy and
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: wild and works in mysterious ways, and that's sort of
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: like what we kind of fall under. Jack designed this
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: whole book, the cover, every single song, China wallpaper inside.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: That's Vagina's hand drawn by Volva's keelty were learning and
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: BECCA's also. I will say like Becca's lane is an
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: our charity component. Like she's always like this is so great,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: we can all clit our jobs, but like what are
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: we doing to help other women? And so, like she
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: always and I'm like wait, there's other women other than me.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: I'm so I'm always just thinking about myself, like what,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: I'm right here, there's seven of me. Yeah, no, without,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: without Becca, it would be pretty soulless. would be honest,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: like I'm just trying to scrape by and like be
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: able to pay my rent and a narcissist. So, like
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: without Becca, it would definitely be very in word. Yeah, so,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: you know, it's a it's a good thing. It's a
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: good thing. Well, it's a great example, I think, for women.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: You know, in dynamics, I mean you guys are a
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: lot younger than me, so you've grown up with a
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: little bit more, like a larger, broader breadth of how
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: important it is to help other women. But like when
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I was growing up, like it was. It was like
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: women against women, and you're like no, no, it can
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: never be this way. You can't be pitting each other again,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: like we have to collectively work together because we are
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: the most powerful people. So when you get into dynamics,
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: when there's two, three, four or five, six people, it's
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: so important to understand whose value stands where and to
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: respect that and to respect each other in like a
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: really thoughtful way in order to demonstrate for all of
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: these generations to come how important female partnership is. Yeah,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: and we got really lucky. Like back to the respect component, like,
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: above anything, we have such respect for each other and
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: we really, really do care for each other and we
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: got really lucky because we started this podcast, none of
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: us really knew each other that well and we're business
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: partners first, we're friends second, but that that we don't
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that we don't like, deeply, deeply care
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: for each other, but I think that there is such
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: a level of respect that we have for each other and,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: like Becca said, we stay in our own lanes, like
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: we trust each other to do the things that we
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: do well, and we really because we're one of the
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: first women podcasts out there, like we kind of feel
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: like we have a responsibility to have as many seats
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: at the podcast table as we can and help other
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: podcasters out. There's no secrets, like, if we found out
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: that something works for us, we're going to share that
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: with somebody else, because we did enter a world where
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: it was the Autom corlas and that's it. So that's
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: where we kind of felt where we can do our
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: job to try to help other women out in the
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: same space as well. And the only difference when we
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: go to Boise, we just split it three ways, which
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: is great. And how has your success with everything that
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: you guys have accomplished impacted your personal lives individually? Well,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I used to be a desperate actress and I was
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: waiting for the phone, touring and my identity was wrapped
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: up in like the next TV show, the next job,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: the red carpets. I was very I really wasn't fulfilled.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I was just sort of like I have to achieve,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I have to achieve, I have to get picked, pick me.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: I didn't really know my worth outside of that world.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: And so building this thing where we show up twice
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: a week as ourselves and having that be the thing
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: where like the doors fly open, for me it's been
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: something incredible for just my my self esteem, quite honestly,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: and just finding out who I am outside of that
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: like weird actress, like caricature that I was playing for
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: so many years. Right, that's powerful. I love it. What
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: about you, Kelt? Well, for me I was a dancer
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: in New York with with Becca. She beat me out
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: like the competition thing. We actually actually started that way.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: BECCA is incredibly talented and I can't sing a lick
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: but pretend I can. So we would be in rooms
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: auditioning for Broadway shows, which I never successfully did, and
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Beck would be like Momma, and then I would come
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: in like yes, it's my turn here, Jerry. I had
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: a beautiful at the time. I had a beautiful long
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: show girl body, so I'd always make it past the
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: dance cut and then when we're saying it would be
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: like everyone would be like please, God stop. But I
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: thought she didn't stop her from Troy not the best.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I'm the best. I'm the best so anyway. But there
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: was competition. But but for me, I I transitioned from
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: dancing to being a reporter and I worked at entertainment
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: tonight and CBS for, you know, over a decade. and Um,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: I was doing this job because I saw the people
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: doing this job and I thought this is a great
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: job to have. This is so fancy and fabulous and glamorous. But, like,
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I went home every night my guts kind of hurt.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: Like my guts kind of hurt because that job is
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: so amazing and so wonderful when you're at like the
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Venice Film Festival or you're at the Oscars and it's
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: like a celebration, but so much of that job is
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: sitting down with people who you barely know and trying
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: to get them to say and talk about something that
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: they maybe don't want to talk about, and there's a
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: lot of like back wiggling in that to get you
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: to that point where we're like there's a there's a
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: weird potion poll, and I was always kind of uncomfortable
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: with that. And so when the podcast became so successful
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: that I could walk away from that job, it was
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: very empowering. And then in the next six months I
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: turned around and sold my dream show back to CBS
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: that I just finished filming, and now with my own
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: music show that I'm the host, executive producer and creator of,
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: and a podcast and I don't have to ask anyone
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: about their divorce. I love that story. What a great
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: good congratulations. You fucking deserve that. It's weird because I
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: was like no, this is it, this is number this
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: is the number one show, this is the number one job,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: like this is this is a highest step or going
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: to get. And then when I walked away I was
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: so scared and life is way better now, like if
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: we want to go to Puerto Rico into our podcast
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: for the beach next week, we can walk away. Is
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: Very underrated. People don't understand how empowering that is when
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: you walk away from something, you're not only inviting other things.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Like there's an energetic force that is immeasurable that nobody
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: takes seriously because it's energy and Karma, and people are like, well,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: how can you prove that? Easily? fucking Karma is provable,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: like it's happened, I've lived it, I've seen it happen
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: to others, and when you walk away from something, you
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: are saying I need more, and then more comes right away,
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: and that is indisputable. I would argue. What about you, Jack? So,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: I came from a completely different world than them. I
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: started a clothing line when I was in college and
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I had kind of just been walking to the beat
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: of my own drum for a decade, having my own brand,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: doing my own thing by myself. So with the leading
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: gang it was the first time that I was ever
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: kind of working with other people, as you know, equals
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: and as peers, not as somebody's boss, and it kind
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: of gave me purpose for the first time, and especially
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: once our podcast started taking legs and we started building
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: this community. We're actually affecting women's lives for the first
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: time and we're getting this feedback and our mantra has
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: always been to make other women feel less alone. We're
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: not curing cancer or anything, but if we can kind of,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: you know, offer a friendship up to our listeners or,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: you know, a piece of advice kind of changed their
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: perspective on something. Those little things or what kind of
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: started fulfilling me with the leading game that I wasn't
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: getting from selling Sassy t shirts on my website. So
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: that's kind of where I started taking value from the
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: leading gang when we first started. It all started with
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: the snail trail and it's been seven years of sharing
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: everything so you don't feel so bad about your vaginal discharge.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: There's a shocking amount of women out there who don't
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: understand and we who don't understand that's certain underwear you
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: just have to throw away well, and it's like people,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: women or girls, are like it's something wrong with me.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I know. I mean, Oh God, I know. I wish
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: women understood that. It's so gross, though. It's so embarrassing
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: to have. I can't understand women that don't wear underwear.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: It's like I need something to catch whatever, because it
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: is coming out of my Pikachu and there's stuff coming out.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I see it about. You know, one week out of
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: a month and I would like come catcher. I don't
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: want that freestyling. When people say they don't want to underwear.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I'm like, where are you doing with your jeans? fucking
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: sending it to the fucking dry cleaner. Okay, girls, we're
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: gonna take colors and letters and we're gonna give real
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: life advice. You guys ready? Yes, Katherine, what do we
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: have in store for today? Oh my goodness, we have
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: some vagina stuff. We've got some really tough stuff, we've
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: got some WTF stuff. It's gonna be very fun. Okay,
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: we're gonna name this episode come catcher. I'm going to
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: take a break and we will be right back. And
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: we're back. Fabulous, we're back with the Lady Gang. Everybody,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: we're back with the Lady Gang, all three of the
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: girls and Catherine and myself. All Right, are you ready?
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: Our first email comes from Brittany. Brittany says, Dear Chelsea,
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I wanted to write in about my relationship with my
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: boyfriend of three years. I love the man and his
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: two children very much. However, there are several things that
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: concern me about the future of our relationship. Let me
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: start out by saying that my boyfriend lost his long
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: term wife to cancer about seven years ago. I'm the
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: first serious girlfriend since the wife passed. The dynamic is
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: a really strange one. My boyfriend is a successful physician
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: with an amazing heart. When it's just the two of us,
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: we get along fabulously. That being said, his home stresses
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: me the funk out. He still has the deceased wife's
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: belongings just as they were before she passed. There's even
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: still a mirror up in the house that has quote cancer.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: You will not defeat me written in her lipstick. I
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: have voiced my concerns about the wife's stuff still being
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: present and he's slowly working on moving her belongings to
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: the basement. There's also the nanny. She's been with the
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: family for four and a half years and has really
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: given a sense of consistency to the boys. The boys
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: are sixteen and thirteen and still very much in need
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: of a little bit of help. The older son struggles
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: with behavioral issues, among other things. That being said, the
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: nanny drives my boyfriend's Van, lives in an attached apartment
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: for free and makes seriously good money. While I respect
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: her relationship with the boys. I can't help but feel
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: taken advantage of. The nanny often goes out of town
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: and I'm left to fill in for her without the pay.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Often watches her boyfriend's children while watching my boyfriend's kids
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: on the clock, and will even drop off her dog
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: for us to watch over the weekend. The employer employee
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: lines have definitely been blurred. Oftentimes I'll get to the
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: house and there's no food or the laundry isn't done.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: I've had it out with both the nanny and my boyfriend.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend states that he needs the nanny a little
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: bit longer and he's scared to lose her. At what
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: point do I give up this insanity? or Am I
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: being too impatient? I recently moved back into my parents
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: house and they weren't living together. She was living somewhere else.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: It was beyond upsetting that my boyfriend didn't invite me
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: to move in and allows the nanny to drive his
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: extra car, not just for work, she uses it for
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: personal errands. I love this man and wanted to work Brittany.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Oh God, there's a lot to unpack. Oh that is
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: haired so unhealthy. Oh and so hard, hard, hard, because
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: when you love someone, you want anything to work. I'll
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: go for oust girls, and then you guys, please jump
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: in collectively. I just think that women are really bad
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: at setting boundaries just because of the way that we've
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: all been raised and we just learned about boundaries like
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: a month ago and we were just bad at setting them.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: And until you set boundaries and standards, no one will
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: meet them. So like, somebody will take as much from
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: you as they can. And that's not to say that
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: your lover or boyfriend is a bad person. He's not.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: He's just in a situation where he's being taken advantage
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: of by the nanny and he's also letting her take
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: advantage of you. And that dynamic because you've allowed it.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: The simplest thing is that you have allowed this and
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: as soon as you stop allowing it, it will stop happening,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: and if it doesn't, then that's, you know, a different conversation.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: But I still think there's hope. You have to literally
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: sit down with him, and if it's with a third party,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: even better, like it's better to have somebody else kind
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: of comments on the situation. If you can go to
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: a couple's counselor if you can afford that. That would
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: be really beneficial to just lay the groundwork and saying, like,
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: I'm no longer comfortable with the way things are working.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I understand the situation I'm getting into, but now I
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: feel taken advantage of and I'm trying to be in
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: addition to this situation, not be a subtraction and not
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: be subtracted from, and I think it's worth a conversation.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: If you could do that with a third party, Great.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: If you can't, I think you should really write down
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: your thoughts, get it together for a conversation with him
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: to state what your boundaries are in the state kind
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: of what's going on with this nanny, which is you
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: know that's great that she's filling in a void, but
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: it's kind of feels like your voids are crossing over
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: each other. You're both feeling a role. That is counter productive.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: I think you really have to say what you need
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: and give the person an opportunity to meet you and
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: if you can't, then there you go. Then that sucks
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: and I understand you love him. I just left a
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: relationship where I loved somebody but the standards were not
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: at my level. I'm not accepting anything less than what
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: I know I deserve not doing it. So you have
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: to have a conversation with yourself and you have to
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: have a conversation with him and then give him an
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: opportunity and if he doesn't meet you, then that's your answer.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: What do you girls think? I was going to lean
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Intobecca for this because you've sort of been through a
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: similar situation where you're in a new relationship after losing someone.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: So I was going to throw it to you BECCA. Well,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you've covered boundaries, because I still don't have those,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: so I can't tell you anything about that. But I
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: can't tell you as somebody, I did lose my boyfriend
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: that I was living with seven years ago. Wow, see,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: it's like crazy, and I actually started dating my husband
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: pretty shortly after that. But the only reason that we
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: were able to have a healthy relationship was where there
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: were two things. I was in deep grief therapy like
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: and if your if your partners, not doing that, then
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: I think that's kind of for me that that would
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: be like a red flag and maybe even a not
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: not worth you being in that relationship if he's not
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: working on that part of this whole equation. So grief
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: therapy for me. And then the other part was, and
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you're really wonderful at this, but my husband
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: had a sense of security about him, about us, that
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: was so strong and I never felt that he was
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: trying to compete with my dead boyfriend. I never felt
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: like he felt threatened from what came before him. But
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I did the work to make him comfortable. I cleared
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: out the closet, I didn't keep things around that we're mats.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: I I really did the work, and so that equation
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: was the most perfect thing. So if you're feeling insecure
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: and the wife's things are around the house, it's okay. Too.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: Gently mentioned that making you feel uncomfortable. But he's not
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: going to just do that. He has to have help.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: He's obviously holding onto something and a lot of men
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: really struggle with loss. So yeah, I just therapy aspect
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: of it. And also those boys lost their mom and
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: you can never forget that. You can never, ever, ever
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: forget as like Shitty as those kids can probably be
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: and how bad the behavior can be. Just hold firm,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: remember that you're just there to support and try not
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: to take it personally, because it really isn't about you.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: It's not about you, and I want to just piggyback
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: on that. Like, you know, women are so much better
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: at talk therapy than men are, just by our nature,
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: you know, we're more emotional, we're more in touch with
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: our emotions, we have more of a vocabulary to articulate
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: our pain, and I really believe you can keep someone's
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: memory alive for a really long time, which is exactly
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: what those boys should be doing for their mother, and
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: you can be a conduit for that, like you can
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: be like, tell me about your mom. What's your favorite,
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: you know, favorite memory? What did she do? And and
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: that's a way to honor her without having a room
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: shrouded around her like. Yes, of course he doesn't have
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: to throw her things away or anything dramatic like that,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: but to have a room dedicated to her after all
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: this time is also not healthy. But you can keep
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: it's it's almost like you can feel the void that
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: is there, with other ways to talk about it, with
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: the kids, with your husband, to keep her memory alive
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: out of respect, because she did exist and she did
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: create these people and that's valuable and and she died. So,
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: like it's important for you to present yourself with somebody
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: who is a conduit to that energy rather than a
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: blockade to that energy. I think also, you know, being
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: in a relationship with anybody that has kids from a
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: previous relationship, like they're always going to come first. So
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: a lot of the decisions that he may or may
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: not be making are hopefully with them in mind. So
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: it's you kind of have to take yourself out of
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: the equation, not out of the equation, but like out
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: of your own head and look at things a little
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: bit objectively sometimes as well, because when you're taking everything
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: so personally, his number one goal is probably hopefully to
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: make sure those kids are still supported and raised well and,
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: you know, still have a connection to their mother. So
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: it's very complicated and there's so many different layers to it,
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: but I think, keeping that in mind, it's hard when
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: you don't have kids of your own, or did chiff
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: kids of her own? No, Huh. Yeah, when you're kind
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: of filling in for that like step mom, because you
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: want to act as a bridge. You don't want to
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: be shut down and like I can't hear about her,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: that's immature. Like you have to acknowledge other people's existence
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: and acknowledge the reason that you're there, and I think
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: being kind of like a kindle in a sense and
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: a bridge is way more valuable, and that, especially little children,
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: the imprint that you make on their brains. You really
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: don't know about that until years later, but you're making
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: an imprint and it should be like the most positive,
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: good vibe one that you can make. Yeah, just to
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: take a slightly different tack the nanny stuff, I find
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: a little funky the fact that she's talking about this
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: person is getting paid for this work and I'm not.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: It makes me think, like my mom always, as you
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: marry the family, whether or not the families in the picture,
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: you marry all the baggage that comes with that. So, like,
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: if she's not ready to take on like the fact
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: that this family needs to have somebody else in their
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: life to help with the behavioral issues or whatever, then
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: it maybe isn't a right fit. Yeah, you're totally right.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Hard well, Brittany, keep us posted on what happens. Yeah, Brittany,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: keep in touch and let us know how it progresses. Okay. Well,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: our next question comes from Marjorie. Marjorie says I'm a
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: forty four year old. Says Gender Woman, I've been married
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: for from almost ten years to an amazing and supportive partner.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: I'm a business owner with six contractors working for me.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of work, but I love what I
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: do and I'm successful. We have wonderful families and strong
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: relationships with our friends. The part of our life that
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: has been difficult and painful has been trying to start
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: a family. I've had multiple miscarriages over an eight year period.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I saw consults from four different fertility clinics, which included
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: medicated cycles, I U Y, I v F, acupuncture, raiky therapy,
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: functional nutrition, Netic Testing, fertility coaching, you name it, I've
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: probably tried it. Our marriage suffered during these years as
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: my depression and anxiety took me over. Now we're in
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: a place where we are reimagining our lives as a
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: childless couple. This has been particularly painful for me, but
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: I do feel I'm on the other side of the
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: darkest parts of it. I'm now on medication. I see
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: an amazing therapist weekly, Meditate, exercise, Journal and generally practice
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: self care in a way I've never done before, and
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: it works. I feel better overall and I'm seeing a
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: life without children that no longer frightens me. Although it's
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: still painful, it's less painful than continuing to try. Over time,
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: I've come to realize that adoption doesn't feel right for me.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: We talk about fostering someday and are both on board
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: with giving back to kids that need a home and love. However,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: we need more time to strengthen our relationship before welcoming
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: foster children into our home. As you can imagine, the
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: years of infertility have taken a toll, and in order
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: to be good foster parents, we need to work on
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: ourselves first. The advice I'm seeking is how to continue
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: to bolster a positive, really fationship with myself now that
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: my purpose in life, to be a mom, has been altered.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: I know you never wanted kids and so you can't
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: identify with some of this. However, I identify with you
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: and your choice to be childless because, more than anything,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: I want to feel like it is my choice. I'm
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: an awesome, cool aunt and I spend as much time
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: as I can with my twelve year old niece. I'm
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: planning to give my fifteen year old nephew my car
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: when he gets his license next year, just because I
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: can I have plenty of money and will be able
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: to retire early. I travel to see friends whenever I want.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: On my lunch break, I cozy up on my couch
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: and read a good book. And while this is all good,
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: I still feel the pain every day and maybe always will. Chelsea,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: any advice or ideas that will help me continue to
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: grow in this new lifestyle I'm creating? Thanks in advance. Marjorie. Hi, Marjorie, hello, hi, Marjorie, hi.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: We have all the girls here from Lady Gang Today. Yes, Wonderful,
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: nice to meet you all well. Thank you for writing
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: in about that. You're right, I don't want children, but
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: I can relate to the struggle of wanting something not
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: being able to get it. So I want to say
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: a couple of things to you before the other girls
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: pipe in, just off the top of my head. I
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: have a very close person in my life who recently
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: fostered a child to adopt, and she's too, and it
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: is probably the most rewarding thing I've ever seen happen
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: to anyone I know. So that is always something to pursue,
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: because you are taking somebody that has been given away
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: and loving them. So I understand and respect the idea
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: of you wanting to repair your relationship to where you
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: see it's fit enough to bring that person, because I
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: I am definitely a proponent of I don't believe when
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: people are like we're gonna have a baby and fix everything.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: That's not the right and getting married doesn't fix everything
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: and all of that. But it's really positive that you're
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: this in touch with yourself and you're this self aware,
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: like a lot of people are not. What I would
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: like to say to you, though, on a personal front,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: is I have so much availability for not only my
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: nieces and nephew, kind of like you mentioned, you know,
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: in your letter, but for other children in the world
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: because I don't have my own, because if I had
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: my own, it would be all about them. And I
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: I look at it like, because I don't have my
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: own children, I'm able to send strangers to college, you
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. I'm able to support people that
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: I'll never meet, kids that I'll never meet, in countries
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: that will never even probably visit, but I'm able to
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: give so much because I don't have my own family
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: and to me, that is my purpose. I would be
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: a shitty mother, I would be selfish, I would want
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: everything to be great for my kid and forget about
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: all the other kids in the world, when I think
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: some of our responsibilities lie in taking care of the world,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: like that's the way it's supposed to be. Not just
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: your kid, everybody's kid, and you're in a position to
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: do just that. So, instead of thinking if this is
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: like something that has limited you, it's a huge opportunity
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: for expansion, and I get that and I appreciate that.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: That is actually a point that I've been working with
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: my therapist on for a long time, because it's hard
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: to see past what you don't have and the infertility
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: and the miscarriages and everything. It just sort of it
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: just broke me down to a point of just I
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: didn't know who I was for a long time and
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to figure that out again. And so
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: I've I've always very much identified with a lot of
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: what you say around kids. I mean, obviously you don't
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: want any, but just it's a safe space. You know,
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: I really enjoyed listening to your podcast because I never
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: have to worry because everything is a trigger when you've
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: kind of been through the ringer in that way. Yeah,
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: and I think the most important thing to remember is
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: to accept your lot. Right. Okay, so it's been a
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: struggle for you to become a mother, so stop, stop
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: trying to do it the way that you think it
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: has to be done. Look at the other ways. There
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: are millions of other ways to accomplish the love that
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: you want to feel between you and a kid without
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: being a biological mother. Like that is a limiting, narrow
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: minded view that you're stuck to because it's your experience
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: and you wanted something that you didn't get. But what
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: will evolve your soul is to let go of that
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: and to say how now? How can I help more people? Now?
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: Let me look into fostering and if that's too much
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: of an onus for you, totally fine. But you can
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: go volunteer, you know, at the Y W you know
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: c a or the Y M C A or any
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: of these you know organizations, or you can you know,
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: you could be a big sister, you could be a
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: great aunt, you could do there's just so many avenues
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: where you can give so much and you have to
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: look at it as like, Oh, I'm now in a
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: position where I can give more to so many others
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: than I would have been able to give to one person.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Right you're in this situation like, stop resisting. What happened?
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: So you weren't meant to have a baby biologically. Maybe
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: you know that's not the end of the world. Look
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: at you. You're beautiful, you're thriving, you're healthy, you have
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: a husband, you're working on your relationship, you have self awareness,
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: you know you want to give out love. These are
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: all beautiful things. It's nothing to be sad about. This
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: is true. I'm connecting with that more in the past
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: few months and things don't look as bleak, but even
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: just getting there has been really difficult and it's obviously
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: up and down, and so I can appreciate I can
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: appreciate that. Yeah, girls, what do you guys have to
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: say about this? What do you think? Hi, Marjorie Rebecca.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for this, because I also went
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: through five years of fertility hell and I know exactly
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: what you're feeling and what you're going through and it's
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: so hard to not feel like you've failed every single time.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: And there's so much, not even just the energy and
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: the stress on the relationship. Financially, it is so insane
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: the amount of money that you put into this and
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: to have it not turn out the way that you envisioned.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: It's a heartbreak. You're grieving and I think what Chelsea
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: said is amazing and incredible and she's a much better
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: human than most people will ever be, because most of
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: us are just narcissists and we just want to keep
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: trying and keep trying to like make our little spawn.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: And I get that poll too, and I was sitting
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: here and I'm like, do I say this thing or
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: do I not say this thing, because it's it could
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: be received in a way that you're not wanting or
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: sounds selfish, but I have a friend who went through
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: exactly kind of what you have gone through. Just kept
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: hitting the roadblock and kept hitting the roadblock and she
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: got to a place where she tried really hard to
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: soul search and think, what does life look like without
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: this baby, and she she wasn't ready and she didn't
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: want that and she actually used a donor egg from
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: an agency. And that's a thing that a lot of
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: straight couples are doing. They just don't talk about it
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: and my friends actually own an agency. It's called elevate baby,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: and I was like, well, who uses donor eggs? You
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: know and they're like, oh, it's not just two men,
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: it's a lot of women who have spent their lives
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: building their careers and they aren't necessarily thinking of their
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: eggs not being viable when they want to use them.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: So there are a lot of people that do this.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: My friend just did this because she wanted to carry
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: a baby and that was what she did. Her baby's
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: one and she's very, very everything that you imagine a
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: new mother is. And I know that you know all
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: the options are out there, but I've seen it firsthand
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: and it's like the way that I feel about my baby,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: who is actually genetically mine, as far as I know.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: She feels exactly the same way, and I know that
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: people feel this way about adoption and about fostering, but
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: I just I've seen it and so I had to
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: say it and take that for what it's worth. But
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: I also think that what Chelsea said about if you
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: decide this is the end of your road for this journey,
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: like life can still be really beautiful and what you're
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: describing of your life is it sounds really magical, especially
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: to me right now. You can travel, you can see
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: friends and my life just became very myopic and it's
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: while it's wonderful, it's still, you know, it's a it's
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: an adjustment. Yeah, we have explored some of those other options.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: Talking about the financial, you know, piece of it, we
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: did all the paperwork for adoption, which was probably, you know,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: ten grand in total, and it just didn't feel right.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Now I'm almost forty five and, you know, getting pregnant
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: has been a challenge over an eight year period, but
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: maintaining the pregnancy has, you know, even with eggs in
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: IBF that we knew were genetically normal, I still lost
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: so the after that, the idea of a donor egg
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: just I mean that there's a it would have been
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: possible maybe, but less likely. And hear what you're saying.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: Like I did reach that point about a year ago
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: after my list last miscarriage, where I knew I had
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: to stop, even though I didn't want to, and that
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I'm still dealing with that, although it's getting better. It's,
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: you know, getting off the roller coaster, because I could
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: have just kept going on and on and on and on.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: And so you know, that acceptance piece has been a
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: real challenge, although I know I need to and it's
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: getting easier. It's I don't know if I'll ever not
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: feel a loss, but I I do see more ways
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: to fill that whole and spread them up. But you're
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: looking at something that's a loss. That's just not and
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: I don't want to this to sound harsh, because it's
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: going to. It's not your reality. Like, if it's this difficult,
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: then it's not meant to be and it's not a loss,
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: it's a game, because once you come across it and
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: stop resisting the fact that you're up against something and
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: you come to the idea that, okay, this is another opportunity,
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: then me being not able to have children is an
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: opportunity to have children in a different way, and that's
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: what you need to accept, because when you resist something,
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: it persists and that thing that will will get in
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: your head and get your body and live in you,
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: and it's your spiritual work that needs to happen now.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: All of the things you're doing that you said you're
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: doing are great. Keep doing them, have faith in yourself
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: and believe in yourself, and you're going to give gifts
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: to the world that you're not even aware of yet.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: But you have to let go of the thing that
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: didn't work out for you. It didn't work out and
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: that's heartbreaking and I'm sorry, but there's so much more.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: Once you become available and shut the door on that
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: and make peace with it, you're gonna find a whole
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: new world that you're able to contribute and love children,
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: and whether that's fostering or adopting or just being you
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: know somebody who who spends time with children, whatever it is,
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: you're going to find your way as long as you
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: make peace with what didn't work out. You can't hold
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: onto things that don't work out. It's just it becomes
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: an energy that lives in you and then it directs
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: you and you don't want that to run you. True,
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: I I appreciate the harshness. I need more reality checking
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: because it's something I haven't I've only started talking more
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: open lead to friends and family about because you know
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: the steep, dark secret and when you're in it you
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: just don't want to talk about it all. At least
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: I didn't, and I know I'm hanging on. I'm still
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: hanging on in ways that are not serving me, not
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: that they ever did, but I need to ramp up
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: some of my self care in a way to to
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: to fully let that go. I I agree with you.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: Thank you, and I do appreciate that. I need to
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: hear it in a in a harsh way, I think. Sometimes, yeah,
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: we just kind of get so stuck in our own psyche, right,
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: like we go around and around and around and around,
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: and then you realize you're a cyclone by yourself and
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: like the whole world is out there and as soon
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: as you want to be a part of it, then
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: you will be right. Marjorie, I want to say thank
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: you so much for your beautiful letter and for being
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: so open with us, because I think this is something
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: that will help a lot of women who are going
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: through exactly what you're going through and just don't want
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: to talk about with friends or family, but hearing your
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: story is going to be really helpful to a lot
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: of absolutely, Marjorie. And also I would just say keep
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: talking about it with everybody you know that you can,
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: like there are no secrets, like keeping a secret is is.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: It makes everything a little bit more dysfunctional. It's so
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: much better to get it out and understand and then
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: you're going to meet people that have been through the
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: same exact thing and then you're gonna be able to
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: help each other. Yeah, thank you, and that that's definitely
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: part of the journey right now and just being more
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: open and honest about it, which is another reason why
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: I wrote in and was just so excited to share
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: and talk to you and, you know, meet everyone. MM. Well,
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad you did. Will You keep us posted
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: and let us know what happens in your life? Of course,
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: all right, we're sending you lots of love, lots of love.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: By Marjorie, by by, I'm going to become an in
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: viture doctor. That's next on my list. I'm just gonna
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: start making everybody pregnant who wants to be. It's so
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: fucking insane. It feels like a natural transition from what
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: I've been doing. You should thanks, very lucrative. I appreciate
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: that kind of sport. Yea while, going from a very
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: serious question into a less serious question, but impactful nonetheless.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: Jess says dear Chelsea, after years of promising myself I
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: would do it, I'm finally getting laser hair removal my
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: full legs, my arm pets, my bikini line. I'm pretty
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: far along in the process on my legs and I
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: love it. I feel like a different person. Truly changes
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: everything about my self, perception and confidence. I thought I
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: was going to go full of Brazilian or something close,
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: like a tiny triangle, but for some reason I never
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: arrived at my appointment fully prepped for that. Then I
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: started to second guess if I really wanted to go
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: for it. A Brazilian style has never been a regular
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: part of my routine. Then, to top it all off,
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: I saw a clip of you doing a bit about it,
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: saying it was a mistake and now you're left with
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: nothing but to get plugs. I know it was a joke,
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: but I'm interested to know how you feel about it.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I've got my next appointment coming up soon and I
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: need to decide a sap if I'm going to go
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: for the Brazilian Pikachu. Help Jess on this and then
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: I'll follow up. Well, I'll start because I have a
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: giant vagina, so I can really understand the pressures societally
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: in the summer, with a bathing suit, with a Spank,
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: even with the gene these days, where your whole vagina
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: can be flopping out the side of you, know, like
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: it's a ball, and it's not. And so I have
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: lasered and I thought, this vagina is so much trouble
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: that I just want no more trouble, and so I
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: did the full Brazilian and here's what they don't tell
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: you about getting older is that if you have a
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: little bit of a floppy vagina, it just becomes floppier
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: as you age. And so I think in retrospect it
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: would be nice to have a small crowd cover to
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: cover up the flappy vagina lips in my elder years,
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: which I don't have because in my twenties I also
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: went crazy and now anything that's left I'm waxing. And
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: so you know, I like an option just from someone
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: with an old, long vagina. It's kind of like how
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: men will hide some of their facial features behind a beard.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: You can kind of hide your floppy vagina behind a
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: little bit of a Bush, but I like it. There
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: are some men I will only date when they're bearded.
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: Once a man with a beard, like a hot, hot guy,
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: shaves his beard, I'm like, they look like a vagina. Actually,
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: my friend's husband used to shave his beard. I'm like,
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: you look like a vagina, I don't like it. Please,
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: but throw your hair back. I don't like that. Yeah, Um,
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: I think the option is nice. I mean, I did
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: the same. I feel like we live in a generation
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: where it was no hair on their vagina and then
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: obviously trends change and you know whatever, but I am
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: hairless down there because hair on my body it makes
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: me itchy and it makes me feel uncomfortable. So I
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: feel like, whatever you're gonna do, do what's gonna make
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: you feel the most comfortable. I wouldn't worry about what,
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: no offense with Chelsea is saying, or your boyfriends saying
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: or whoever, like who it feels good on your body
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: because you're never gonna see her a little tray all,
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: you know, like so I don't know, I would just
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: I get so itchy down there that I'm like, I'm
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: I'm happy with my laser hair removal choices in my
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: early twenties. At the end of this podcast we're all
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: going to show very close up, three d photos of
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: our vaginas and so everyone canna understand the different options
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: that are available. I didn't. I didn't realize my vagina
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: was not great until I was a show girl in
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: Las Vegas and it's great, Kelty. Everybody's Vagina is great. No,
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: it's Great Volva story, but we had a vagina off.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: There was sixteen girls in the cast and we all
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: stood naked beside each other and looked at each other's vaginas,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: which was very and there's some beautiful vaginas. Mine is not.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: I mean she's pretty. I love myself mine. It's not
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: that cy too. But I would like to add on,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: like I got laser hair removal when I was in
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: my twenties so I could swim faster, and then I
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: realized as I grew older, like no man gives a
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: fuck what your vagina it doesn't matter if it's flappy,
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if you have been any or an
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: Oudy or you hair on your asshole. They don't give
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: a fuck. So whatever you're doing is for you. And
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: I would say, like, I'm not in a bald beaver's
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: like I find that to be very juvenile, like I
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: don't want to look like a little girl. I want
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: hair on my vagina. I would recommend laser in your asshole, though,
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: because that's just nice, but don't bleach your asshole. My
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: girlfriend the other day was like I have to bleach
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: my asshole. She just got divorced she's on the market.
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: She's like, I have to bleach my asshole now. I
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: go no, no, you don't have to bleach your asshole.
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: Just fucking laser it so there's not hair coming out
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: of it. Only if somebody, if you're waiting, you know,
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: if you're if you're gonna have anal sex. Yeah, like
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: keep it as clean as possible. But if you're not
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: in an anal then don't even worry about it. But
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: like just keep your options open. There's a bikini line,
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: so you don't want your pubic hair to grow into
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: your thighs. That's gross because you have those air and hairs.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: So it's cool to laser that area and, you know,
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: laser around the area, so like on maybe on your
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: vaginal lips, like it's not fun to have hair there,
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: but on the base, what I call my base of
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: my vagina. I like that to have a scientific terms.
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: I feel like that. I like that to be covered.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: Back at any final thoughts. What about you BECCA? You
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: didn't well, I don't feel like I really don't need
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: to at this point. I you know, I did do
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: laser hair removal and I don't follow through with anything
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: in my life. It's like a theme. So I I
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: didn't finish up and so now I just have patchiness
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: that I have to maintain. So like a Balding Vagina.
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: It's really it's not pretty. So, yeah, it's receiving so
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: one credit away from a degree in school. So this
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: is a theme through her life where she doesn't quite
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: hit the nail each time. Almost true, just about there.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: But yeah, no, if you're going to do it, just
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: at least commit to whatever you're doing, because what I've
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: got going on is not attractive. Catherine, what are your
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: views on Pikachu? You know I mean I have a
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: dedicated buzzer. That's how I go. Yeah, US keep it neat.
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: I also don't like when my hair on my vagina.
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: This is probably too much detail, but who gives a ship?
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: It gets too long, like it grows outward. I'm like,
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: I have straight pubic care. I'm not really sure why,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: but when my hair grows on the base of my vagina,
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: it goes curly and goes out like a little boopsie doodle,
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: and I have to cut that sometimes and be like, okay,
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: I don't want this. This is like my version of
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: a boner. Oh my God. Yeah, I haven't had hair
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: on my vagina for so long, but like I don't
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: even know what it looks like. I'm going to send
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: you Americans. I'm gonna send you American and then you're
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: gonna face time me will I'll do a little show. Well,
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: on that wonderful note, we're gonna take a quick break
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: and we'll move back to clothes. We're gonna take a
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: quick break, put on Ourmericans and we're gonna be right
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: back party and we're back amazing. Well, this is the
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: point in the show where we like to ask of
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: our guests. have any advice you'd like to ask for
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: from Chelsea, Chelsea Goddess Handler. Thank God this. When I
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: read that we got to do this, I was like,
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: thank God. So we are currently like a week out
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: from our first bus and trailer tour and we thought
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: were fancy. We've got a successful podcast, we're gonna get
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: a bus, like all these people on the bus and
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: they're tour and around. It is. I'm saying like it's
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: like planning fifteen weddings with three brides in four weeks.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: It is so hard. So much of my emotional component
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: of like who I am as a person is directly
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: attached to ticket sales. Like, why don't you want to
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: come New Orleans to see me? I know there's listeners there,
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: so like, how do you separate and what are the
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: secrets to like doing a tour without losing your mind? Okay,
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: first of all, I'm glad you asked this question because
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: I listen. You have to appreciate everything that you have,
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: not the things that you don't. So if a show
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: is not sold out, or you have a thousand people
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: instead of two thousand in or you have five hundred
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: instead of one thousand, you have to go out there
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: with the notion that there are five hundred people that
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: are there to see you and you give them that show.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: Anytime you are basic in under any other umbrella, then
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: performing and giving the people that are your devoted fans.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: If that's not what you want it to be or
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: if if you if you're letting your ego run you,
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: you'RE gonna lose. You have to always perform for whoever
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: is sitting in that audience and every time you guys,
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: walk out on that stage, I want you to think
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: of me and think of walking out on that stage
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: and saying we are going to give every single person
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: who bought a ticket the best show that we're going
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: to give them and you cannot worry about anything else.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: And that is how you build your audience and that
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: is how you build a fan base and when you
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: show up for those people, the next time you come
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: back there's gonna be double the amount of people. M H.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: I hope I'm listening. I'm putting it in my write.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: Write it down, Kelty, write it down. I absolutely understand and,
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: like you know, my person that's trying to be a
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: better person really gets it and I absolutely I'm here
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: for it. I just like failure is such a difficult
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: thing for everyone. But when you are failing at being Chelsea,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: hand learn, not that you've ever really failed, but I'm
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: sure things don't work out sometimes, like it's like failing
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: at doing my job at Microsoft. I think would feel
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: different than failing as being like Kelty night. You're failing, though,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: but you're not failing. You're working, you're growing. You're working
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: and you're growing. There's no failure. The failure is in
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: your ego. That is that is not a real thing,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: that is tangible. That is your shadow voice telling you
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: why don't you sell more tickets. Why do you do this?
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: Why do you to kill this? The only way to
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: succeed is to have a good attitude about everything that
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: comes your way in this moment. So you embrace it
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: and you capitalize on it and you don't count the
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: numbers and you're not worried about I check my ticket
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: sales every day, honey, I know exactly what you're talking about, okay,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: but I don't ever go. I mean I've gotten out
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: to shows that are sixty sold or fifty sold, where
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck, and you know what, there's
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: some of the best shows I've ever had. You focus
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: on the people that are there for you, and that
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: is how you grow as a performer and as an
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: entertainer and all of it, it's all a build, and
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: so it's not happening instantaneously. Everything is a build. This
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: is your first tour. There's gonna be another one, so
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: just keep that ball rolling in that right direction and
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: try to get outside of your ego and just be
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: in the moment. Being present is the best gift you're
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: gonna give your audience and yourself. And when you go
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: out there on that stage, you have to acknowledge all
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: the people that are sitting there waiting to see you,
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: and you just have to keep playing that game in
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: your mind and running it around and if you have
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: to write affirmations or whatever, do that, but just remember,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: like it's not black and white. It's always like a move.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: You know, for me, I've been famous for I don't
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: know twenty years and there are struggles and or are
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: times where I get low and I don't believe in
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: myself or I'm self conscious and I have to pull
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: myself out of that. I'm like, you're not here by
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: by mistake, but your behavior and your attitude towards failure
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: will bring you down. And if you have a great
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: attitude and you just go that didn't work out, next thing,
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: that's what brings you up and keeps you afloat. I
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: have one more question. I know I'm like taking over. Sorry. Well,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: obviously we're big fans of your books and everything that
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: you do, and our new book, Ladies Secrets, has a
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: lot of celebrity stories in it, like Julie Roberts hates me,
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: Jack accidentally went on a date with Josh Ja Mel
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: and like that. We're naming names in these stories and
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: like it's about to come out in the world and
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: like any advice on just like holding true to like
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: the haters and when people are coming at you, or
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: like when it feels like it's all swirling. No, you're
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: telling the truth. WHO GIVES A ship? Everybody? Not Everybody
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: gets along. Some people are not gonna like you. That's
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: the way of the world. If you think this is
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: a popularity contest about everybody liking you, then get out,
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: because that's never ever going to happen. The only bonus
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: is that anyone likes you, you know what I mean,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: and you focus on those people. Once again, you focus
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: on the people that you're serving, not the people that
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: don't want to eat at McDonald's or whatever you want
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: to come. You know not to compare you guys to McDonald's,
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: but you know what I'm saying, so do I. I
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: mean I will never fucking love a breakfast more than
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: I love that Sausagject mcmuffin. But you just you have
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: to serve up what you're you're delivering, like looking around
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: to see what other people are saying about you is meaningless.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: You saying you don't like or Julie Roberts doesn't like fine, fuck, fuck, that.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: Who Cares about that? She's not going to be in
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: your world. Like Josh Tamel, who cares about that either.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: It's it's better to be truthful and honest than worry
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: about the repercussions. I mean, you don't want to be
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: mean and nasty, but like, whatever you know, you're telling
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: the truth and that's okay and you have to be
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: down with that and stop focusing on the people that
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: don't get it. Stop focusing on the people you don't
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: get it. Jack, I need a Jack van of t shirt.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: I need to sign Chelsea. Can you imagine if Harry
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: styles went out on stage every night and was trying
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: to find the mother in the crowd that wasn't into
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: that being there, or the father, and he was focused
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: on that? He's like, wait, I have two hundred thousand
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: people at Wembley stating and I don't know how many
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: people that sea. It's probably not two hunch with thousand,
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: but and he's looking around, going where's the guy that
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: doesn't get me? No, you're looking at the people that
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: get you. Yeah, that's such a good point. Wow, man Kelty,
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: I want you to listen to that. I'm going to
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: put that on a voice memo on my phone, so
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: when you're being a real cunt on tour, I'm gonna
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: play it for you. Yeah, for sure. Well, if there's
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: three of you, there's bound to be one cunt. So
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like that's why I travel alone,
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: just the day exactly. Yeah, well, I love it, you guys.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: This was so much fun. What a great episode we
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: have with you girls. I love you girls. I'm so
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: glad you're going on tour. Have the best time. Thank you.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you. Really excited and Chelsea,
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: I have one more question. I did send you a
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: giant and I sent you a joint. I sent you
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: a joint in the mail and I'm wondering if you
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: ever got it. Wait, hold on, let me see if
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: I have it right here. No, the mail after you
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: were on our podcast, you were like send me a
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: copy of the books. So I got the address your
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: Po box and I sent the book, but I also
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: send a huge gold joint with it. I don't want
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: to sound I don't want to Brag, but so much
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: cannabis sent to my house. I have a refrigerator in
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: our gym and the guest room filled with cannabis. And Mushrooms,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: because so my cleaning lady was like, we have to
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: get another fridge. I thought it was so inventive. No, no, no,
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: I bet it's there. I just bet. I haven't seen
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: it yet, so I don't want to dissuade you, and
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: when I do see it, I'm gonna let you know. Yeah,
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: you smoke that joint, joint gold thing and you think
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: that to Kelty's ego. I will, I will you, girls.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: Thank you so so much. Love you girls. Love you.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, cat. Thank you likewise, love you.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: Joy your good sex life. Thank you. I'M gonna go
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: have sex now. I was like, who me? where? Okay, bye. Hi, guys,
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: thank you so much. So, if you'd like advice from Chelsea,
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: just send us an email at dear Chelsea podcast at
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: Gmail dot com. We have a special call for submissions
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: this week. If you've done any sort of genetic testing
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: and maybe made a discovery about a new family member
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: or found out that your uncle maybe has a secret
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: family somewhere, or you found some health markers related to
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: your DNA that have led you to take certain steps
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: and investigate further, and especially if you'd like advice about
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: what you found out in your DNA analysis. Please write
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: into dear Chelsea podcast at GMAIL DOT COM. Dear Chelsea
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: is a production of I heart radio, executive produced by
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: nick stuff, produced by Catherine Law and edited and engineered
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: by Brad Dick Art.