Transcript

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What's up, everybody.
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Welcome back to another episode of the Christian Agent podcast.
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Thank you once again for tuning in as we unpack today, the lie that the industry keeps selling us now, as I said in the cold open, the industry is selling you a definition of success that quietly destroys your soul.
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Now that's not true as believers.
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It can't destroy our soul.
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The point is it's pulling us away from the Lord's way and it's pulling us onto the world's way.
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And how do we get back on track?
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And it's something I wrestle with.
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It's something I know every Christian agent wrestles with, but I want to unpack a little bit of that today to hopefully get us back on the Lord's way, get back on the Lord's path.
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So we're going to dive into that today.
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I hope that what I share will be impactful and helpful for you as always.
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If this is please leave a five star review wherever you listen to the show, take a minute, click the five stars, leave a quick review and most importantly, share this with the christian agent brother sister christian linda brother or sister we want to get the word out we want to grow the christian community in the real estate space one of the best ways we do that is through you all sharing it with people that you know we would be honored i don't know i keep saying we i would be honored by that to grow this community that's my heart so let's dive into this episode before we do as always don't worry i didn't forget the christian dad joke what's loved by noah and also most meat eaters?
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Ham.
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Ham was, if you don't know, Ham was one of Noah's sons.
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And if you don't know, read your Bible.
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You know what I mean?
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Pick up Genesis, read about the flood, Ham and his kids.
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I mean, well, he had kids, but Noah and his kid, Ham, okay, whatever.
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All right, so it's late in the day, okay?
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I'm here by myself.
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So cut me some slack because maybe I'm a little bit punchy.
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I'm pretty tired.
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Actually, for those of you who listened to the show for a while, we spent the weekend...
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or we spent all day saturday up at tyler's house he was the the co-founder of the faithfully jacqueline the and used to be the co-host of this show and so we had a great time with them but it was a long day and we are still recovering from it we were able to go up there with him celebrate because they've got their fifth baby on the way with a blessing that is so let's dive into this right because the culture of real estate is obsessed with gc i obsessed with how many deals you sell obsessed with trophies and awards and rankings and you know if you have a team how big is your team and and all of the things it's obsessed with those things and as as if success is only defined by how much money we make in houses we sell but the reality is if i'm honest i fall into that trap too and if you've listened to the show you've heard me talk about this idea of the scoreboard and in the book that i have that's going to get published hopefully this fall i'd dive into that a little bit more but that the basic premises this we get into this industry in the industry gives us a scoreboard they say here's the way you keep score here's the way success is defined in our industry how much money did you make how many homes did you sell right was your gc i was your profit was your ranking and they give those to us and they say this is how success is defined in so we keep hearing this same thing over and over and over sell more homes do this do that do this and there's an aspect of that that's totally right and true we want to sell more homes want to be more productive we want to have success quote unquote in business we want to be a working as hard as we can as excellent as we can to the honor of the father we absolutely want to do that but it becomes the only measure of success And the challenge that I've seen, I don't want to say often seen, but the truth is I see it a lot, is the industry, the world is telling us one way and the Lord's trying to keep us doing it a different way.
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The industry tells us things like, you better grind it out.
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More, more, more, do whatever it takes.
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You got to outwork everyone.
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If you're not growing, you're dying.
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Be available 24 seven.
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And it's all about you.
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Right?
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Vanity is victory.
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but we've often seen where that leaves right maybe you make a hundred k but you miss out your kids soccer game maybe you have more clients coming in that's awesome but you're not really on vacation let's be honest you're even celebrating posting about it that you're on vacation and still working as this is if that's a badge of honor that you should wear you maybe you win an award but you actually went into debt maybe you retire wealthy or know someone who has but you've lost your marriage along the way This is a story that is far too common in our industry.
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In the deeper that I've gotten into the coaching world, the more people that I've met, the more that I've realized this happens everywhere in our industry.
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We are celebrating only one measurement.
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Who sold the most houses?
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That's it.
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Who sold the most houses?
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And therefore you are up there, you are celebrated, you post about it, you share about it.
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look what i've done without great update whatever it is and it doesn't mean those are good things because they are good things but the question is is that success in and of itself because how many people do we know and maybe listener you felt this way i know i felt this way maybe your success cost you time with your family maybe your success put stress on your relationship with your spouse maybe your success caused distance between those you love.
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Maybe your success kept you from focusing on anything other than more, more, more.
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And even in your quiet time, all you thought about was what you needed to accomplish.
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I'm guilty of that.
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The reality is the Lord does not look at it the same way.
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When the industry says grind it out, the Lord says, find rest.
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In Matthew 11.
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When the industry says vanity is victory, post yourself and your face everywhere.
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The Lord says vanity is worthless.
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Ecclesiastes one.
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When the world says more, more, more, the Lord tells us to be content in Philippians four.
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When we are told whatever it takes, whatever it takes.
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The Lord says obedience is more important than ambition.
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Psalm 131.
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When we're told you better get out there and you better work out work every single person.
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That's how you win.
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The Lord says, work hard for me.
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Colossians 3.
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When the industry tells us you better grow or you're going to be dying, your business, if it's not growing, it's dying.
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The Lord says, I, the Lord give growth.
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First Corinthians 2.
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When the world says, you got to be available 24-7, everything is trumped by if that lead is calling.
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The Lord says, trust me to provide.
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Philippians 4.
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I'm reminded of this because when we follow the way the Lord tells us to build a business, when we don't buy into the lie that the real estate industry keeps selling us, this definition of success that it's all about numbers, it's all about money, it's all about houses sold, when we follow that, it looks different.
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Maybe you make a hundred K, but you also are more prayerful.
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Maybe you more clients out coming in, but now you're taking Sunday's off.
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Maybe you win an award and in turn you're seeking to help other agents.
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Maybe you retire a good steward of what the Lord has given you so you get to spend your days serving your family and serving the Lord.
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It's different and I get it.
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I've missed out on family dinners too.
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I've gone on quote unquote vacation.
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I've strived after the industry's definition of success only for me to be inwardly wasting away.
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why is this such a hard common struggle i think is the bible talks about sent crinthians that we are unequally we veered off course right we we chase the hundred k but we missed too many family dinners but what is the industry say hey here's an award congratulations maybe we become the number one agent in our market but we lost our marriage in yet we are still up on stage at that real estate conference sharing about how we were the number one agent celebrating success in ways that they shouldn't.
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And we enjoy it and we buy into it.
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You know, I felt this way and you all have heard my story.
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If you listen to the show, I felt this way.
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I was outside a couple of years ago and I had built a bigger team.
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We were selling more houses.
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I'd figured out a way to double my profit, but it was going to cost me more hours in the office.
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And I remember stopping and saying, you know, Garrett, if you could look back on this moment right now, if you could look back at this man right now, right here, who you are today, five years from now, if you could look back, who would you be most proud of?
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The guy who sold more houses, made more money, but missed out on too many important moments, or the guy who figured out how to actually work less and be more present and even make the same amount of money you're making now.
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And that's okay.
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That was very clear for me.
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but i remember coming back up to my office and wondering if that's true i've always said my family right my walk with the lord family wife and my kids those are the most important aspects of my life that's why i'm even in this industry some walk back up to my office of water to myself all that's true than one in the world of my doing why am i so focused on everything else that's not my wife my kids my relationship with the lord why am i so focused on how many deals how much money what was our gc i was our profit was our volume and i came up and i saw it right there in my my whiteboard literally looking at it right here and i saw my whiteboard there was three things written down and that's it number of transactions volume and gc i was it the only three things i was measuring i was measuring the way they told me to measure i didn't know any different and and not even did i not know any different let me rephrase that because not knowing any different makes me sound like i'm not guilty of something got caught up in the game didn't seek to discernment how the lord wanted me to measure what I just took the rules they gave me and I tried to play it the best I could.
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Now I'm not saying that selling a lot of homes and having a big team, whatever, that those are bad things.
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I'm not saying that being a solo agent and selling a few homes on purpose is a bad thing.
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All of those can be good in God honoring.
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I'm not saying any of that.
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You can sell a bunch of homes and honor the Lord and be present.
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You can sell a bunch of homes and dishonor the Lord and not be present with anyone.
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The point is this, the question that should have come to my mind is not, Thank you for the rules of the game industry.
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What I should have said is, Lord, how do you want me to play this game?
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what can I do Lord to honor the opportunity you placed in front of me and I realized at that moment though I said that my family and the walk my walk with the Lord was the most important that all I was doing was measuring money in deals that was it was it and then the Lord's kindness he gave me and grant me that discernment and understanding in that moment to say don't stay on this path Garrett and not only that help others get off that path.
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Because the industry's path leads to one thing, personal glory, personal kingdom building.
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It doesn't lead to the glory that the Lord alone deserves.
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It doesn't lead to the depth of healthy relationships with those you love.
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It leads to getting celebrated for selling a lot of houses even though you left your loved ones behind.
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The industry doesn't care.
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because you're doing a good job.
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You're creating money for everyone.
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again brothers and sisters i'm not saying selling a lot of houses is a bad thing i am saying whose definition did you follow whose definition are you following right now how are you defining success You all may have heard this story, but in December of 2012, my wife and I got married in October, 2012.
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We had bought a house together two months after we were married.
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I wake up December 19th.
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I come downstairs.
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My wife hops in the shower.
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getting ready for work.
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I was not in real estate at the time.
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I come downstairs, walking down the steps and the first thing I see into our living room, the first thing I see is our couch and all of the cushions are turned over.
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And I remember thinking, that's weird.
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I don't remember leaving the couch cushions like that.
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Well, I kept scanning the room.
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And what I could see first was our front door, the windows into our driveway, kept scanning where our TV would be above the mantle.
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And then we had a Christmas tree and we Christmas presents underneath.
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Well, as I'm scanning the room, trying to understand why the cushions were that way, I noticed that the TV wasn't on the wall anymore.
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And then I noticed that all the presents under the tree were gone.
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I still didn't understand what was going on.
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And so I came down a few more steps.
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I looked out to those windows.
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I realized that one of the windows was open.
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And what I normally would have seen outside those windows in our driveway were our cars.
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Well, guess what wasn't there?
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Our cars.
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They'd been taken.
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And I realized in that moment, we'd been We've been burglarized, I guess is the actual term.
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I run upstairs.
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I tell my wife call the police and that's the rest of the stories for another time the point is this we got broken into we realized later that they had actually whoever it was never found him came up past our open bedroom door went into another room stole our lockbox even social security cards passports everything stole it all while we were sleeping Well, I remember...
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We're in the car.
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My mom is now past my mom and dad come up and they're helping us that day and we don't have anything.
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We have cars.
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They stole our wallets.
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We don't have ID and that's again another story for another time.
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But we're on the way to go get a rental car.
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I'm in the front seat.
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My wife's in the back seat.
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My mom's driving.
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And she turns to me and she says Garrett.
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Remember what matters.
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Remember what matters.
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You're OK.
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Rachel's OK.
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You have everything that you need.
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All the other stuff is just stuff.
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Right, Mark 8.36 tells us, what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?
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For what can a man give and return for his soul?
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My concern for us, agents, my concern for our industry is that we are so much in pursuit of this stuff.
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so much in the pursuit of gaining the whole world because it's right in front of us.
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that we forget that those pursuits come up empty.
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That we forget that everything I had worked for in that moment paid for the TV, paid for the cars, paid for the Christmas gifts.
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Everything we had worked for until that moment was taken like that.
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that does not profit us.
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What score should we be keeping?
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What are the lives we're supposed to be impacting?
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Who are the people we're supposed to be pouring into?
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Where do I need to be present?
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And Lord, asking this question, what do you want me?
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How do you want me to define success?
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Because if you're listening to this and you're maybe a stay at home mom and you sell five homes a year, because that's all you have time for, because you chose to homeschool your kids, I have so much respect for you.
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You've got your priorities right.
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If you're the...
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dad who is purposely selling twenty homes a year when he could be selling fifty whatever the number is because you made a promise that you'd show up for dinner every night applaud you if you were the grandparent who takes off in the morning because you gotta watch your kids kid got a watch a grand kid and that means you don't get to sell as many homes cuz you gotta serve your own family height applaud you that's what we should celebrate and if it's not you it's okay but it's not okay to stay there.
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Go ask the Lord, how do want me to find success?
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What does it look like, Lord, for me to pursue the opportunity you've laid out in front of me?
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My hope, brothers and sisters, is that we will build something different.
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That Christian agents everywhere will look different on purpose because we will be pursuing the Lord's way, not the world's way.
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Doesn't mean it's easy.
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It's definitely not.
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But together we can go that direction.
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Let's pursue what the Lord desires of us.
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Let's no longer be measured and defined solely by what the industry says success looks like.
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Let's go to the word and ask the Lord, is this what you want?
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And then pursue that.
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Tell your brothers and sisters, hold me to it and go pursue it.
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That's my hope for us in this industry.
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Let's build something different.
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Join the Christian agent community on school.
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There's a link in the show notes.
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I want to do this with you.
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I want to do this together because we are going to flip the script on this industry and Christian agents everywhere are gonna stand up and say, we're gonna do it a different way.
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And you guys need to take note because there's something more going on here than just one way of measuring success.
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This is about what.
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Will we actually take with us?
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And it's nothing other than the relationships we have with the Lord and one another.
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That's it.
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And we're going to pursue that with abandon.
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And you know what, industry, maybe I'm not going to sell 100 homes a year.
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Maybe I will, but maybe I'm not going to sell 100 homes because I'm going to intentionally show up every single day for my family.
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And that's my priority.
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The industry might look at us.
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The industry might mock us.
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The industry might make fun of us.
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That's okay.
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Because brother and sister, we are pursuing what the Lord has called us to do, and I and all of us are in your corner.
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I love you, Christian agents, sincerely.
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I love you.
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Do not buy the lie that the industry has told you.
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Pursue the hope and the goodness that is in Christ.
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I love you.
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I will see you next week.