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Transcript

Shut Up and Forgive Your Parents/ Healing Toxic Family Bonds 🤣🤣🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: Ladies and gentlemen, through Michael.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I need that.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm broken, so please adore me from afar.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: That is what I need.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much for uh coming out.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what my problems are, actually.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I got problems.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: My therapist says I'm a devaluing narcissist.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I sat down in the chair.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, you know what your problem is, Drew?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're a devaluing narcissist.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, ouch.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's tough to hear.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Especially from a worthless piece of shit who's obviously jealous of me.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: What your problem is, lady, clearly you have your own insecurities that you're projecting onto the smartest person you've ever met.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Is that something all all dumb ugly people do or just you?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I get depressed a lot.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if everyone here gets depressed, but depression's interesting because people who don't get depressed, they always think that you're sad.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, sadness and depression are very different things, right?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Sadness is like something happens in your life and temporarily you feel sad about it.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Depression is a medical condition where you see things for what they are.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's what depression is.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: People are like, hey, what's wrong?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, but I I don't know, the truth?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what do you what do you not see?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like they try to medicate you when you're depressed, which I think is kind of fed up.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: They have those commercials, like it's something wrong with you.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you down?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you little rain cloud hopping around?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Take this drug, turn that rain into sunshine.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, yeah, but maybe I'm down because I notice that the world is fed up.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you not like happy people?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: What the f?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you not seeing?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Shouldn't happy people be medicated?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that the illness?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: The commercial shouldn't be.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Are you down?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: The commercial should be, are you thrilled to be here?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you have an easy time meeting people or making friends?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do you get along seamlessly at work functions?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, take a pill, you fing sociopath.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: What is wrong with you?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: How is that just how you are?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're fine with all of this?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: No fear, no anxiety, nothing.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: None?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Do you not know you're dying, mother f like that?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Bother you once a day, the fact that this all ends at the end, one day, just up black forever.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: There's no stopping it.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Life is just slowly leaking out of your future corpse.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing you can do.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: You try to hold the life in, but that's actually you wasting your life.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: You're supposed to live in the moment, but it's hard because your phone is made by slaves.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're complicit in a violent system.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's no escape.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: The only way out is to get a gun and it's a weird commercial.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know why.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why it gets so heavy.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's too heavy for a 30-second Super Bowl ad, I think.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it's like I'm not a nar narcissist implies that like I don't value other people, but that's not what it is.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: I just think my thoughts are more interesting than theirs.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Which is not true.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not right.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's just my own relative truth.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: But when you believe that, it's difficult to meet new people, to bring new people into your life.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I notice this when I try and date, like I go on a date, come home, my roommate's like, hey, how'd the date go?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I don't know, fine.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, you need to see her again.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, probably not.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, well, what happened?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: You were gone like all night.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't like her, you didn't have fun, it wasn't fun.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, yeah, no, it was fun, but it was fun because I was there.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's why.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it was good.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: You ever have that?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, hey, this is cool, but it's because I'm crushing it right now.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's why this is functioning as a dialogue.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: If I left, this whole thing would fall apart.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't I don't I don't need you here for this.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to drop 90 bucks to have someone sit with me while I'm right.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's me.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm I'm the issue.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know that.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's not other people.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: I have my own issues.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like in my head a lot, which is hard to deal with.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I have a lot of just like incessant, just all day, just voices just going off.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not good, it's not like self-affirming, like you're doing great.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's like f you fraud.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Piece of shit.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna accomplish anything.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, good, your name is on a screen.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Comedy is an art, just shut up and forgive your parents.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like all day.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Drinking is interesting because it does it turns you into a different person.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't, you know.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: I dated a girl who she drank a lot, and it it was it was cool up until it wasn't.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: We would get into fights, like she would be drunk, and I wouldn't be, and it was an unfair fight, because I'm not fighting a person, I'm just dodging bricks of ill logic that are being hurled at me, and she would start fights at the most inopportune times.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: She would start fights in the middle of a bar, pack bar, one in the morning, and she would say some shit that I there's no real response, but I had to respond.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: She would just, you're not creative.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh what's my line to that?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: You want me to paint you a mural?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how am I supposed to fix that?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: How about you shut the f up?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, Don't tell me to shut the f up.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, well, everyone's looking at us now.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, good, let them look.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: You don't pay enough attention to me anyway.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: You don't tell me I'm beautiful enough.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: You don't think I'm beautiful?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like one eye half twitching open.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you don't.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: You don't think I'm beautiful?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: You don't think other guys want to f me?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: All these guys here, they all want to f me, okay, mister?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: I could f any one of these guys.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Don't yeah, let's not do that.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: How about?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like what she's like, I can f your friends too.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: They all look at me, shut the f up.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Stop listing people you can f.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: This game sucks.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't know how to make it stop.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get out of it?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can't reason with her.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can't hit her.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Can we just agree that this is the one and only time that it should be socially acceptable to roofy another person?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Can we all just say, hands in, this is the only time.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get weird because you associate the roofie with sex, okay?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's no sex in my situation.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just roofie her and take her home.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a piece of shit.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Look, there's no law that says when you roofie someone, you have to f them.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: They improvise that.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I would not do that.
• 7:15
  unknown: Right?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you drug someone and f them, that's on you.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Don't blame the drug for that.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a rape drug, you're a rapist.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're a rapist who uses a prop, by the way.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you're a prop rapist, which is the lamest version of the shittiest thing.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're like the caratop of horrific human behavior.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something you should have to shoulder the responsibility for on your own.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Don't try to make it the capsule's fault.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was you.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I wouldn't do that.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a bad guy.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: I would just roofie her, pick her up, call an Uber, you know, take her home, carry her up the stairs to her apartment, tuck her in bed, take her contact lenses out, put them in the case with the solution, you know, get floss and like floss her unconscious head.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is my girlfriend after all, you know.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Then I go to bed with her.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: We wake up in the morning, she's all groggy, like, oh my god, what happened last night?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, what happened?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: You were saying some like crazy stuff that was gonna make me leave you.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: But luckily, I love you too much to let that happen.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I roofied you.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I did it.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there was nothing.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: I I roofied you to save the relationship.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know what else to do.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: What else are you supposed to do?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like when your internet stops working.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: You unplug the modem for like 60 seconds and then you plug it back in and it's fine.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same exact solution.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can't reason with the modem, like, okay, you're a beautiful modem.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think you're crazy.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: I just think it would be cool if you went back to blinking green.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna work, you're gonna knock it out.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same with her.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, I'm gonna f your friends, uh, uh, and she's out.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Then in the morning you plug her back in, your relationship is back at five bars.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're good to go, you're back online, full signal strength.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: You've got a functioning relationship again.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want them to come across as sexist, by the way, because I know I am talking about roofing women.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that's just who I date.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, if you date dudes, roofie them too.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like dudes should get roofied more than they do anyway.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, not to f them, just to prevent them from doing the shit that they do.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like every bar in the in the city, sh in the corner, should just have like a pile of six knocked-out dudes, just a heap of cologne and button-down shirts, just like uh.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: What happened over there?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: The bartender's like, oh, they were creeping out some girls, so we had to neutralize.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh just some janitor pushing him in the corner with a giant broom into that pile of entitlement.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was a feminist date rape joke.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Suggesting that perhaps men are even better at feminist.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm kidding.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: You want to take back that applause now, don't you?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is a fun gig.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: I like doing it.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be a musician when I was younger.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I like one thing I like that musicians do that's cool, is they uh before they play a song, they can tell you where the song came from.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: They explain like where it came from.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: I went to go see one of my favorite singer-songwriters, Jason Isbil.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay, sure.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: He's great.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And uh before he played a song, he said uh to the audience, he said, uh, you know, I went to high school with this guy, and uh he asked his girlfriend to marry him in the parking lot of the football stadium.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: She said yes.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: They got pregnant with a girl, and he went off to war overseas and died, didn't come back, and then the girl was born.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, this next song, it's about them.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And everyone was instantly touched.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: There was like a beautiful feeling in the crowd that added this layer of depth and poetry to the whole thing, and it was amazing.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I wish I could do that with some of the stories that I tell, because some of them weren't you know an explanation.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was in a relationship in the past that was insane.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was insane.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: She had been through hell and back.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: I never heard a story like this.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: She never told anyone about it until me.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: I was the first person she ever told.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And she told me this story, and she was worried it would scare me away.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I said, you know what, it's not your fault that it's happened to you.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna stick with you and we'll get through this together.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that intimacy scared her.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So she went off and she cheated on me, and I was really fing bad! Like, what?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: You did what?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't want to take it out on her because she already been through so much shit in her life.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I just had to sit there with the anger, with nowhere to put it, just kind of letting it build inside of me with no outlet for it, you know?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, this next joke.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's about that.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Sing along if you know it.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: You guys know this one.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: I uh I've never been cheated on before.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's not good.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: It lives up to the hype.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, cheating, it's not, it brings up just the trust and abandonment issues, just uh like it's bad.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I told her, I said, I think this is a deal breaker for me.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I can I think this is it.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And she she said something I think a lot of people say after they cheat.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: She said, I'm sorry, I made a mistake.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: I made one mistake.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can you just forgive my one mistake?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I love you.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Can you get past this one mistake?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Can we work through this one mistake?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just forgive this one mistake.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like one?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: One mistake?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: How is cheating one mistake?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Cheating is like 50 mistakes in a row.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: One mistake is like you take someone else's coat by accident.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's one mistake.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: You add the tip wrong on a credit card receipt.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's one mistake.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Cheating is a complex algorithm of steps.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: All the steps are necessary in order to pull off the task of cheating.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know how easy it is not to f somebody?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have not f almost every person ever.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's pretty easy.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, cheating is not one mistake, it's a series of mistakes you made in succession.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: You texted him, you met him at a bar, you got drinks with him, you got too many drinks with him, you went back to his apartment, you laid down on his bed, you made out with him, you took off his clothes, you took off your clothes, you got his dick hard, you got your pussy wet, you used it to his dick over and over and over until it on to you, and then you were like, oh, whips! No.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: How is that one mistake?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: What did you slip and all that stuff just happened?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you can't.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's a process.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot say a whole process is one mistake.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody ever bakes a cake, gets all the ingredients from the store, follows the recipes step by step, puts it into the oven, takes it out, and is like, oh shit, a cake?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I meant to do my taxes.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can't mail the IRS a bunch cake.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna be like, what the hell is wrong with you?
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I made one mistake.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what's next for me, you know.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 31.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Not of my friends are getting married.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to get married.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: I can't believe people still get married.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, what are you two?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is my wife.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, dude, grow up.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're 35.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Your wife?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking the idea of monogamy.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: If you find someone you can be with and you want to make it work, I think that's that's great, truly.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have you have the perseverance, the love, the commitment, the trust to make that work, that's a beautiful thing, and you should hold on to that.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't think you should tell anyone about it.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, certainly not the government.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's like a weird first step.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're in bed with the person you love more than anything, eyes are inflamed with passion.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I love you.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I love you too.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I'm gonna love you until I die.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, holy shit, we should let the people who run the DMV know.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: We should tell them.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, gay marriage was tough for me because obviously I supported it when it passed, it's a great thing, but I don't like this idea that people call it this like radically progressive movement, because it's like the government still has a say in who's allowed to get married, which is we like like I feel like like the progressive stance is getting the government out of it completely.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Just let people love whoever they want with however they want without having to go through this like labyrinth of mazes and stamps in order to get there.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: And no state, no state was talking about that solution except for one.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it was Oklahoma.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, unlikely state.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Was it New York or California?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oklahoma, this is true.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oklahoma had a representative who proposed a total marriage ban, statewide, no more marriage, just so gay people could never get married.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which is insane, but very hilarious.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because that means Oklahoma accidentally homophobed its way into radical progressive thinking.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: That is by far the most advanced discussion on the subject, and it's driven by bigotry.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, I don't think the state needs to be involved in love at all, but because of hate, like it's like a magic trick where they shove bigotry into a box and wave a wand and then progress pops out.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the other side say, how the hell do they do that?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, they're amazing.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's that meeting.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I were at that meeting to see what other ideas were proposed, you know?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: To see what other like radically progressive ideas they could conjure that were fueled by hatred.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know what we gotta do?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta ban marriage altogether.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: That way the m can never participate.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: People are like, oh my god, that's genius.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: They're writing on their scratch pad, someone else stands up, like, you know what else we gotta do?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta dissolve our currency.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Set up what's called a resource-based economy, establish a more egalitarian distribution of wealth.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: This will make the pursuit of individual wealth an unnecessary and irrelevant endeavor, which will help end the tyranny of nepotism as well as the virtual monopolies of corporations.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: This will then slowly deprogram the state and corporate-backed propaganda that rots our minds and poisons our souls, which will then restore the complexion of our cultural and individual psychology to where one's self-identity is no longer linked to the market value of his commercial function, but rather to the spontaneous actualization of his spiritual desires.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: There would be no need for laws because the guiding principles of society would arise organically as the unwritten negotiations between our communal needs.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: This would render the very idea of a central government fundamentally absurd.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: Would help eradicate the farcical existence of campaign politics altogether.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: We would watch the traditional socioeconomic hierarchy crumble as well as the dissolution of the nation states as we entered into a stable, harmonious, utopian relationship with Mother Nature.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then that way we'll never have to worry about our country being run by a bunch of goddamn Jews.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much.