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The Man Who Went Too Far by E. F. Benson · The Best Ghost Stories

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  Speaker 1: Section seven of the Best Ghost Stories. This is a
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  Speaker 1: LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
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  Speaker 1: For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
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  Speaker 1: Read by Ben Tucker, The Best Ghost Stories The Man
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  Speaker 1: Who Went Too Far by E. F. Benson. The little
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  Speaker 1: village of Saint Faith's nestles in a hollow, wooded hill
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  Speaker 1: up on the north bank of the River Fawn in
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  Speaker 1: the County of Hampshire, huddling close round its gray Norman church,
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  Speaker 1: as if for spiritual protection against the fays and fairies,
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  Speaker 1: the trolls and little people who might be supposed still
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  Speaker 1: to linger in the vast empty spaces of the new forest,
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  Speaker 1: and to come after dusk and do their doubtful businesses.
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  Speaker 1: Once outside the hamlet, you may walk in any direction,
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  Speaker 1: so long as you avoid the high road which leads
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  Speaker 1: to Brockenhurst, for the length of a summer afternoon, without
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  Speaker 1: seeing sign of a human habitation, or possibly even catching
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  Speaker 1: sight of another human being. Shaggy wild ponies may stop
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  Speaker 1: their feeding for a moment as you pass. The white
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  Speaker 1: scuts of rabbits will vanish into their burrows. A brown viper,
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  Speaker 1: perhaps will glide from your path into a clump of heather,
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  Speaker 1: and unseen birds will chuckle in the bushes. But it
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  Speaker 1: may easily happen that for a long day you will
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  Speaker 1: see nothing human, but you will not feel in the
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  Speaker 1: least lonely. In the summer, at any rate, the sunlight
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  Speaker 1: will be gay with butterflies, and the air thick with
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  Speaker 1: all those woodland sounds, which, like instruments in an orchestra,
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  Speaker 1: combine to play the great symphony of the yearly festival
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  Speaker 1: of June. Winds whisper in the birches and sigh among
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  Speaker 1: the firs. Bees are busy with their redolent labor among
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  Speaker 1: the heather. A myriad bird's chirp in the green temples
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  Speaker 1: of the forest trees, and the voice of the river,
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  Speaker 1: prattling over stony places, bubbling into pools, chuckling and gulping
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  Speaker 1: round corners, gives you the sense that many presences and
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  Speaker 1: companions are near at hand. Yet oddly enough, though, one
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  Speaker 1: would have thought that these benign and cheerful influences of
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  Speaker 1: wholesome air and spaciousness of forest were very healthful comrades
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  Speaker 1: for a man. And so far as nature can really
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  Speaker 1: influence this wonderful human genus, which has in these centuries
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  Speaker 1: learned to defy her most violent storms, and its well
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  Speaker 1: established houses, to bridle her torrents and make them light
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  Speaker 1: as streets, to tunnel her mountains, and plow her seas.
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  Speaker 1: The inhabitants of Saint Fath's will not willingly venture into
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  Speaker 1: the forest after dark, For in spite of the silence
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  Speaker 1: and loneliness of the hooded night, it seems that a
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  Speaker 1: man is not sure in what company he may suddenly
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  Speaker 1: find himself. And though it is difficult to get from
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  Speaker 1: these villagers, and a very clear story of occult appearances,
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  Speaker 1: the feeling is widespread. One story, indeed, I have heard,
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  Speaker 1: with some definiteness, the tale of a monstrous goat that
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  Speaker 1: has been seen to skip with hellish glee about the
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  Speaker 1: woods and shady places. And this perhaps is connected with
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  Speaker 1: the story which I have here attempted to piece together.
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  Speaker 1: It too, is well known to them, for I'll remember
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  Speaker 1: the young artist who died here not long ago. A
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  Speaker 1: young man, or so, he struck, the beholder of great
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  Speaker 1: personal beauty, with something about him that made men's faces
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  Speaker 1: to smile and brighten when they looked on him. His ghost,
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  Speaker 1: They will tell you walks constantly by the stream and
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  Speaker 1: through the woods which he loved so, and in especial
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  Speaker 1: it haunts a certain house, the last of the village,
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  Speaker 1: where he lived, and its garden in which he was
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  Speaker 1: done to death. For my part, I am inclined to
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  Speaker 1: think that the terror of the forest dates chiefly from
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  Speaker 1: that day. So such as the story is, I have
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  Speaker 1: set it forth in connected form. It is based partly
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  Speaker 1: on the accounts of the villagers, but mainly on that
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  Speaker 1: of Darcy, a friend of mine and a friend of
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  Speaker 1: the man with whom these events were chiefly concerned. The
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  Speaker 1: day had been one of untarnished midsummer splendor, and as
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  Speaker 1: the sun drew near to its setting, the glory of
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  Speaker 1: the evening grew every moment more crystalline, more miraculous. Westward
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  Speaker 1: from Saint Path's, the beech wood, which stretched for some
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  Speaker 1: miles towards the heathery upland beyond, already cast its veil
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  Speaker 1: of clear shadow over the red roofs of the village.
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  Speaker 1: But the spire of the gray church, over topping all
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  Speaker 1: still pointed a flaming orange finger into the sky. The
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  Speaker 1: river Fawn, which runs below, lay in sheets of sky
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  Speaker 1: reflected blue and wound its dreamy, devious course round the
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  Speaker 1: edge of this wood, where a rough two planked bridge
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  Speaker 1: crossed from the bottom of the garden of the last
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  Speaker 1: house in the village and communicated by means of a
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  Speaker 1: little wicker gait with the wood itself. Then, once out
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  Speaker 1: of the shadow of the wood, the stream lay in
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  Speaker 1: flaming pools of the molten crimson of the sunset, and
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  Speaker 1: lost itself in the haze of woodland distances. This house,
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  Speaker 1: at the end of the village, stood outside the shadow,
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  Speaker 1: and the lawn, which sloped down to the river, was
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  Speaker 1: still flecked with sunlight. Garden beds of dazzling color lined
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  Speaker 1: its gravel walks, and down the middle of it ran
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  Speaker 1: a brick pergola, half hidden in clusters of rambler rose
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  Speaker 1: and purple, with starry clematis. At the bottom end of it,
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  Speaker 1: between two of its pillars were slung a hammock containing
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  Speaker 1: a shirt sleeved figure. The house itself lay somewhat remote
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  Speaker 1: from the rest of the village, and a footpath leading
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  Speaker 1: across two fields, now tall and fragrant with hay, was
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  Speaker 1: its only communication with the high road. It was low built,
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  Speaker 1: only two stories in height, and like the garden, its
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  Speaker 1: walls were a mass of flowering roses. A narrow stone
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  Speaker 1: terrace ran along the garden front, over which was stretched
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  Speaker 1: an awning and on the terrace a young, silent footed
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  Speaker 1: man servant was busied with the laying of the table
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  Speaker 1: for dinner. He was neat handed and quick with his job,
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  Speaker 1: and having finished it, he went back into the house
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  Speaker 1: and reappeared again with a large rough bath towel on
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  Speaker 1: his arm. With this he went to the hammock in
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  Speaker 1: the pergola. Nearly eight sir, he said, has mister Darcy
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  Speaker 1: come yet, asked the voice from the hammock, No, sir,
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  Speaker 1: If I'm not back when he comes, tell him I'm
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  Speaker 1: just having a bath before dinner. The servant went back
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  Speaker 1: to the house, and after a moment or two, Frank
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  Speaker 1: Halton struggled to a sitting posture and slipped out on
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  Speaker 1: to the grass. He was of medium height and rather
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  Speaker 1: slender in build, but the supple, ease and grace of
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  Speaker 1: his movements gave the impression of great physical strength. Even
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  Speaker 1: his descent from the hammock was not an awkward performance.
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  Speaker 1: His face and hands were a very dark complexion. Either
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  Speaker 1: from constant exposure to wind and sun, or as his
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  Speaker 1: black hair and dark eyes tended to show from some
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  Speaker 1: strain of southern blood. His head was small, his face
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  Speaker 1: of an exquisite beauty of modeling, while the smoothness of
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  Speaker 1: its contour would have led you to believe that he
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  Speaker 1: was a beardless lad still in his teens. But something
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  Speaker 1: some look which living in experience alone can give, seemed
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  Speaker 1: to contradict that, and finding yourself completely puzzled as to
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  Speaker 1: his age, you would next moment probably cease to think
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  Speaker 1: about that, and only look at this glorious specimen of
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  Speaker 1: young manhood with wondering satisfaction. He was dressed as became
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  Speaker 1: the season and the heat, and wore only a shirt
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  Speaker 1: open at the neck and a pair of flannel trousers.
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  Speaker 1: His head, covered very thickly with a somewhat rebellious crop
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  Speaker 1: of short curly hair, was bare as he strolled across
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  Speaker 1: the lawn to the bathing place that lay below. Then
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  Speaker 1: for a moment there was silence, then the sound of
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  Speaker 1: splashed and divided waters, and presently after a great shout
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  Speaker 1: of ecstatic joy, as he swam up stream with the
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  Speaker 1: foam to water, standing in a frill round his neck. Then,
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  Speaker 1: after some five minutes of limbs stretching the struggle with
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  Speaker 1: the flood, he turned over on his back, and, with
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  Speaker 1: arms thrown wide, floated down stream, ripple cradled and inert.
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  Speaker 1: His eyes were shut, and between half parted lips, he
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  Speaker 1: talked gently to himself. I am one with it, he
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  Speaker 1: said to himself. The river and I aye, And the river,
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  Speaker 1: the coolness and splash of it is I and the
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  Speaker 1: water herbs that wave in it are I also. And
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  Speaker 1: my strength in my limbs are not mine, but the rivers.
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  Speaker 1: It is all one, all one, dear fawn. A quarter
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  Speaker 1: of an hour later he appeared again at the bottom
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  Speaker 1: of the lawn, dressed as before, his wet hair already
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  Speaker 1: drying into its crisp, short curls. Again, there he paused
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  Speaker 1: a moment, looking back at the stream with a smile
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  Speaker 1: which men look on the face of a friend, then
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  Speaker 1: turned towards the house. Simultaneously, his servant came to the
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  Speaker 1: door leading on to the terrace, followed by a man
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  Speaker 1: who appeared to be some half way through the fourth
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  Speaker 1: decade of his ears. Frank and he saw each other
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  Speaker 1: across the bushes and garden beds, and each quickening his step.
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  Speaker 1: They met suddenly, face to face round an angle of
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  Speaker 1: the garden walk in the fragrance of Syringa. My dear,
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  Speaker 1: Darcy cried Frank, I am charmed to see you, but
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  Speaker 1: the other stared at him in amazement. Frank, he exclaimed, Yes,
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  Speaker 1: that is my name, he said, laughing, What is the matter.
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  Speaker 1: Darcy took his hand. What have you done to yourself?
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  Speaker 1: He asked, You are a boy again. Ah, I have
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  Speaker 1: a lot to tell you, said Frank, Lots that you
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  Speaker 1: will hardly believe, but I shall convince you. He broke
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  Speaker 1: off suddenly and held up his hand. Hush, there is
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  Speaker 1: my nightingale, he said. The smile of wrecking and welcome
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  Speaker 1: with which he had greeted his friend faded from his face,
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  Speaker 1: and a look of rapt wonder took its place, as
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  Speaker 1: of a lover listening to the voice of his beloved.
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  Speaker 1: His mouth parted slightly, showing the white line of teeth,
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  Speaker 1: and his eyes looked out and out till they seemed
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  Speaker 1: to Darcy to be focused on things beyond the vision
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  Speaker 1: of man. Then something perhaps startled the bird, for the
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  Speaker 1: song ceased. Yes, Thatt's to tell you, he said, really,
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  Speaker 1: I am delighted to see you, but you look rather
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  Speaker 1: white and pulled down. No wonder after that fever. And
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  Speaker 1: there is to be no nonsense about this visit. It
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  Speaker 1: is June. Now you stop here till you are fit
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  Speaker 1: to begin work again two months at least. Ah, I
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  Speaker 1: can't trespass quite to that extent. Frank took his arm
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  Speaker 1: and walked him down the grass. Trespass Who talks of trespass?
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  Speaker 1: I shall tell you quite openly when I am tired
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  Speaker 1: of you. But you know, when we had the studio together,
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  Speaker 1: we used not to bore each other. However, it is
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  Speaker 1: ill talking of going away on the moment of your arrival.
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  Speaker 1: Just a stroll to the and then it will be
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  Speaker 1: dinner time. Darcy took out his cigarette case and offered
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  Speaker 1: it to the other. Frank laughed, No, not for me,
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  Speaker 1: dear me. I suppose I used to smoke once, How
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  Speaker 1: very odd given it up. I don't know. I suppose
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  Speaker 1: I must have anyhow, I don't do it now. I
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  Speaker 1: would as soon think of eating meat. Another victim on
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  Speaker 1: the smoking altar of vegetarianism. Victim asked Frank, do I
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  Speaker 1: strike you as such? He paused on the margin of
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  Speaker 1: the stream and whistled softly. Next moment, a moor hen
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  Speaker 1: made its splashing flight across the river and ran up
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  Speaker 1: the bank. Frank took it very gently in his hands
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  Speaker 1: and stroked its head as the creature lay against his shirt.
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  Speaker 1: And is the house among the reeds still secure? He
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  Speaker 1: half crooned to it, And is the missus quite well?
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  Speaker 1: And are the neighbors flourishing there? Dear home with you?
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  Speaker 1: And he flung it into the air. That bird's very tame,
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  Speaker 1: said Darcy, slightly bewildered. It is, rather, said Frank, following
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  Speaker 1: its flight. During dinner, Frank chiefly occupied himself in bringing
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  Speaker 1: himself up to date and the movements and achievements of
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  Speaker 1: this old friend, whom he had not seen for six years.
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  Speaker 1: Those six years, it now appeared, had been full of
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  Speaker 1: incident and success. For Darcy. He had made a name
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  Speaker 1: for himself as a portrait painter, which bade fair to
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  Speaker 1: outlast the vogue of a couple of seasons, and his
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  Speaker 1: leisure time had been brief. Then. Some four months previously
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  Speaker 1: he had been through a severe attack of typhoid, the
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  Speaker 1: result of which, as concerns this story, was that he
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  Speaker 1: had come down to this sequestered place to recruit. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: you've got on, said Frank at the end. I always
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  Speaker 1: knew you would a r A with morn prospect money
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  Speaker 1: you roll in it, I suppose. And oh, Darcy, how
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  Speaker 1: much happiness have you had all these years? That is
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  Speaker 1: the only imperishable possession. And how much have you learned? Oh?
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  Speaker 1: I don't mean an rty and I could have done
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  Speaker 1: well in that, Darcy laughed. Done well, my dear fellow,
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  Speaker 1: all I have learned in these six years. You knew,
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  Speaker 1: so to speak, in your cradle, your old pictures fetch
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  Speaker 1: huge prices. Do you never paint now? Frank shook his head. No,
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  Speaker 1: I'm too busy, he said, doing what? Please tell me
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  Speaker 1: the That is what everyone is forever asking me doing.
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  Speaker 1: I suppose you would say, I do nothing. Darcy glanced
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  Speaker 1: up at the brilliant young face opposite him. It seems
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  Speaker 1: to suit you that way of being busy, he said.
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  Speaker 1: Now it's your turn. Do you read? Do you study?
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  Speaker 1: I remember you saying that it would do us all,
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  Speaker 1: all us artists, I mean a great deal of good
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  Speaker 1: if we would study. And he won human face carefully
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  Speaker 1: for a year without recording a line have you been
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  Speaker 1: doing that? Frank shook his head again. I mean exactly
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  Speaker 1: what I say, he said. I have been doing nothing,
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  Speaker 1: and I have never been so occupied. Look at me?
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  Speaker 1: Have I not done something to myself? To begin with?
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  Speaker 1: You are two years younger than I said Darcy, at
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  Speaker 1: least you used to be. You therefore are a thirty five.
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  Speaker 1: But had I never seen you before, I should say
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  Speaker 1: you were just twenty. But was it worthwhile to spend
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  Speaker 1: six years of greatly occupied life in order to look twenty?
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  Speaker 1: Seems rather like a woman of fashion, Frank laughed boisterously.
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  Speaker 1: First time I've ever been compared to that particular bird
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  Speaker 1: of prey, he said, No, that has not been my occupation.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, I am only very rarely conscious that one
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  Speaker 1: effect of my occupation has been that. Of course it
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  Speaker 1: must have been, if one comes to think of it,
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  Speaker 1: It is not very important. Quite true, my body has
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  Speaker 1: become young, but that is very little I have become young.
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  Speaker 1: Darcy pushed back his chair and sat sideways to the table,
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  Speaker 1: looking at the other. Has that been your occupation, then,
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  Speaker 1: he asked? Yes, that, anyhow, is one aspect of it.
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  Speaker 1: Think what youth means? It is the capacity for growth, mind,
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  Speaker 1: body is spirit, all grow, all get stronger. I'll have
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  Speaker 1: a fuller, firmer life every day. That is something, considering
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  Speaker 1: that every day that passes after the ordinary man reaches
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  Speaker 1: the full blown flower of his strength, weakens his hold
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  Speaker 1: on life. A man reaches his prime and remains we say,
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  Speaker 1: in his prime for ten years or perhaps twenty. But
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  Speaker 1: after his primest prime is reached, he slowly, insensibly weakens.
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  Speaker 1: These are the signs of age in you, in your
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  Speaker 1: body and your art, probably in your mind. You are
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  Speaker 1: less electric than you were. But I when I reach
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  Speaker 1: my prime, I am nearing it. Ah, you shall see.
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  Speaker 1: The stars had begun to appear in the blue velvet
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  Speaker 1: of the sky, and to the east of the horizon
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  Speaker 1: seen above, the black silhouette of the village was growing
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  Speaker 1: colored with the approach of moonrise. White moths hovered dimly
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  Speaker 1: over the garden beds, and the footsteps of night tiptoed
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  Speaker 1: through the bushes. Suddenly, Frank rose, Ah, it is the
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  Speaker 1: supreme moment, he said softly. Now, more than at any
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  Speaker 1: other time, the current of life, the eternal, imperishable current,
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  Speaker 1: runs so close to me that I am almost enveloped
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  Speaker 1: in it. Be silent a minute, he advanced to the
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  Speaker 1: edge of the terrace and looked out, standing stretched with
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  Speaker 1: arms outspread. Darcy heard him draw a long breath into
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  Speaker 1: his lungs, and, after many seconds, expel it again. Six
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: or eight times. He did this, then turned back into
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  Speaker 1: the lamp light. It will sound to you quite mad,
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  Speaker 1: I expect, he said. But if you want to hear
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  Speaker 1: the soberest truth I have ever spoken, and shall ever speak,
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  Speaker 1: I will tell you about myself. But come into the garden,
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  Speaker 1: if it is not too damp for you. I have
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  Speaker 1: never told any one yet, but I shall like to
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  Speaker 1: tell you. It is long, in fact, since I have
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  Speaker 1: ever tried to classify what I have learned. They wandered
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  Speaker 1: into the fragrant dimness of the pergola and sat down.
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  Speaker 1: Then Frank began. Years ago, do you remember, he said,
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  Speaker 1: we used often to talk about the decay of joy
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  Speaker 1: in the world. Many impulses, we settled had contributed to
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  Speaker 1: this decay, some of which were good in themselves, others
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  Speaker 1: that were quite completely bad. Among the good things, I
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  Speaker 1: put what we may call certain Christian virtues renunciation, resignation,
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  Speaker 1: sympathy with suffering, and the desire to relieve sufferers. But
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  Speaker 1: out of those things spring very bad ones, useless renunciations,
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  Speaker 1: asceticism for its own sake, mortification of the flesh, with
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  Speaker 1: nothing to follow, no corresponding gain. That is, and that
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  Speaker 1: awful and terrible disease which devastated England some centuries go,
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  Speaker 1: and from which by heredity of spirit we suffer. Now Puritanism,
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  Speaker 1: that was a dreadful plague. The brutes held and taught
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  Speaker 1: that joy in laughter and merriment were evil. It was
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  Speaker 1: a doctrine, the most profane and wicked. Why what is
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  Speaker 1: the commonest crime one sees a sullen face? That is
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  Speaker 1: the truth of the matter. Now, all my life I
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  Speaker 1: have believed that we are intended to be happy, the
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  Speaker 1: joys of all gifts the most divine. And when I
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  Speaker 1: left London abandoned my career, such as it was, I
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  Speaker 1: did so because I intended to devote my life to
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  Speaker 1: the cultivation of joy, and by continuous and unsparing effort
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  Speaker 1: to be happy among people and in constant intercourse with others.
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  Speaker 1: I did not find it possible. There were too many
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  Speaker 1: distractions in towns and work rooms, and also too much suffering.
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  Speaker 1: So I took one step backwards or forwards, as you
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  Speaker 1: may choose to put it, and went straight to nature,
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  Speaker 1: to trees, birds, animals, to all those things which quite
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  Speaker 1: clearly pursue one aim only, which blindly follow the great
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: native instinct to be happy, without any care at all
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: for morality or human law or divine law. I wanted
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: you understand to get all joy first hand and unadulterated.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: And I think it scarcely exists among men. It is obsolete.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Darcy turned in his chair. Ah, but what makes birds
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: and animals happy? He asked, Food, food, and mating. Frank
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: laughed gently in the stillness. Do not think I became
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: a sensualist, he said, I did not make that mistake.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: For the sensualist carries his miseries pickaback, and round his
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: feet is wound the shroud that shall soon enwrap him.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I may be mad, it is true, but I am
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: not so stupid anyhouse to have tried that. Now, what
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: is it that makes puppies play with their own tails?
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: That sends cats on their prowling ecstatic errands? Night? He
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: paused a moment. So I went to nature, he said.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I sat down here in this new forest, sat down,
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: fair and square, and looked. That was my first difficulty,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: to sit here quiet without being bored, to wait without
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: being impatient, to be receptive and very alert. Though for
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: a long time nothing particular happened. The change, in fact,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: was slow. In those early stages, nothing happened, asked Darcy,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: rather impatiently, with the sturdy revolt against any new idea,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: which to the English mind is synonymous with nonsense. Why
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: what in the world should happen now? Frank, as he
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: had known him, was the most generous but most quick
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: tempered of mortal men. In other words, his anger would
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: flare to a prodigious beacon under almost no provocation, only
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: to be quenched again under a gust of no less
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: impulsive kindliness. Thus, the moment Darcy had spoken an apology
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: for his hasty question was half way up his tongue,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: but there was no need for it to t traveled
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: even so far, for Frank laughed again, with kindly genuine mirth. Oh,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: how I should have resented that a few years ago,
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: he said, Thank goodness, that resentment is one of the
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: things I have got rid of. I certainly wish that
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: you should believe my story. In fact, you are going
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: to but that you, at this moment should imply that
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: you do not does not concern me. Ah, your solitary
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: sojournings have made you inhuman, said Darcy, still very English.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: No human, said Frank, rather more human at least, rather
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: less of an ape. Well, that was my first quest,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: he continued, after a moment, the deliberate and unswerving pursuit
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: of joy, and my method, the eager contemplation of nature.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: As far as motive went, I dare say it was
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: purely selfish. But as far as effect goes, it seems
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: to me about the best thing one can do for
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: one's fellow creatures. For happiness is more infectious than smallpox. So,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: as I said, I sat down and waited. I looked
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: at happy things zealously avoided the sight of anything unhappy,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: and by degrees a little trickle of the happiness of
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: this blissful world began to filter into me. The trickle
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: grew more abundant, and now, my dear fellow, if I could,
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: for a moment divert from me into you, one half
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: of the torrent of joy that pours through me day
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: and night, he would throw the world, art everything aside,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: and just live exist. When a man's body dies, it
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: passes into trees and flowers. Well, that is what I've
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: been trying to do with my soul before death. The
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: servant had brought into the pergola a table with siphons
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: and spirits, and had set a lamp upon it. As
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Frank spoke, he leaned forward towards the other, and Darcy,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: for all his matter of fact common sense, could have
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: sworn that his companion's face shone was luminous in itself.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: His dark brown eyes glowed from within the unconscious smile
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: of a child irradiated and transformed his face. Darcy felt
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: suddenly excited, exhilarated. Go On, he said, go on, I
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: can feel your somehow telling me sober truth. I dare
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: say you are mad, but I don't see that matters.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Frank laughed again. Mad, he said, yes, certainly if you wish,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: but I prefer to call it saying, however, nothing matters
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: less than what anybody chooses to call things. God never
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: labels his gifts. He just puts them into our hands,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: just as he put animals in the garden of Eden
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: for Adam to name him if he felt disposed so.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: By the continual observance and study of things that were
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: happy continued. He I got happiness. I got joy, but
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: seeking it, as I did, from nature. I got much more,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: which I did not seek, but stumbled upon, originally by accident.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: It is difficult to explain, but I will try. About
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: three years ago I was sitting one morning in a
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: place I will show you tomorrow. It is down by
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: the river bank, very green, dappled with shade and sun,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: and the river passes there through some little clumps of reeds. Well,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: as I sat there, doing nothing but just looking and listening,
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: I heard the sound, quite distinctly of some flute like
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: instrument playing a strange, unending melody. I thought at first
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: it was some musical yokel on a highway, and did
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: not pay much attention. But before long the strangeness and
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: indescribable beauty of the tunes struck me. It never repeated itself,
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: but it never came to an end. Phrase after phrase
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: ran its sweet course. It worked gradually and inevitably up
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: to a climax, and having attained it, it went on.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Another climax was reached, and another and another. Then, with
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: a sudden gasp of wonder, I localized where it came from.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: It came from the reeds, and from the sky, and
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: from the trees. It was everywhere. It was the sound
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: of life. It was, my dear Darcy, as the Greeks
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: would have said, it was pan playing on his pipes,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: the voice of nature. It was the life melody the world.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Malady Darcy was far too interested to interrupt, though there
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: was a question he would have liked to ask, and
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Frank went on, well, for the moment, I was terrified,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: terrified with the impotent horror of nightmare, and I stopped
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: my ears and just ran from the place and got
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: back to the house, panting, trembling, literally in a panic. Unknowingly,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: for at that moment I only pursued joy. I had begun,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: since I drew my joy from nature, to get in
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: touch with nature. Nature, force, God call it what you will,
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: had drawn across my face, a little gossamer web of
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: a central life. I saw that when I emerged from
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: my terror, and I went very humbly back to where
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: I had heard the pan pipes. But it was nearly
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: six months before I heard them again. Why was that,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: asked Darcy. Surely because I had revolted, rebelled, and worst
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: of all, been frightened. For I believe that just as
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: there is nothing in the world which so injures one's
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: body is fear, so there is nothing that so much
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: shuts up the soul. I was afraid, you see, of
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: the one thing in the world which has real existence,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: no wonder its manifestation was withdrawn. And after six months,
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: well after six months, one blessed morning, I heard the
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: piping again. I wasn't afraid that time, and since then
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: it has grown louder, it has become more constant. I
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: now hear it often, and I can put myself into
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: such an attitude towards nature that the pipes will almost
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: certainly sound, and never yet have they played the same tune.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: It is always something new, something fuller, richer, more complete
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: than before. What do you mean by such an attitude
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: towards nature, asked Darcy. I can't explain that, but by
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: translating it into a bodily attitude, it is this. Frank
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: sat up for a moment, quite straight in his chair,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: then slowly sunk back, with arms outspread and head drooped. That,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: he said, an effortless attitude, but open, resting, receptive. It
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: is just that which you must do with your soul.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: Then he sat up again. One word more, he said,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: And I will bore you no further, nor unless you
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: ask me questions, shall I talk about it again? You
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: will find me, in fact, quite sane in my mode
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: of life. Birds and beasts you will see behaving somewhat
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: intimately to me like that. More hen, but that is all.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I will walk with you, ride with you, plague off
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: with you, and talk with you on any subject you like.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: But I wanted you on the threshold to know what
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: has happened to me. And one more thing will happen.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: He paused again, and a slight look of fear crossed
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: his eyes. There will be a final revelation, he said,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: a complete and blinding stroke which will throw open to
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: me once and for all the full knowledge, the full
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: realization and comprehension that I am one, just as you
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: are with life. In reality, there is no me, no
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: you know it. Everything is part of the one and
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: only thing which is life. I know that that is so,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: but the realization of it is not yet mine, but
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: it will be. And on that day, so I take it,
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: I shall see Pan it may mean death, the death
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: of my body. That is, but I don't care. It
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: may mean immortal, eternal life, lived here and now for ever. Then,
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: having gained that, ah, my dear Darcy, I shall preach
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: such a gospel of joy, showing myself as the living
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: proof of the truth. The Puritanism, the dismal religion of
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: sour faces, shall vanish like a breath of smoke, and
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: be dispersed and disappear in the sunlit air. But first
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: the full knowledge must be mine. Darcy watched his face narrowly.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: You are afraid of that moment, he said. Frank smiled
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: at him. Quite true, you are quick to have seen that.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: But when it comes, I hope I shall not be afraid.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: For some little time, there was silence. Then, Darcy Rose,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: you have bewitched me, you extraordinary boy, he said. You've
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: been telling me a fairy story, and I find myself saying,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: promise me it is true. I promise you, that said
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: the other. And I know I shan't sleep, added Darcy.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: Frank looked at him with a sort of mild wonder,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: as if he scarcely understood. Well, what does that matter,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: he said, I assure you it does. I am wretched
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: unless I sleep. Of course, I can make you sleep
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: if I want, said Frank, in a rather bored voice. Well,
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: do very good, go to bed. I'll come up stairs
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: in ten minutes. Frank busied himself for a little after
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: the other had gone, moving the table back under the
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: awning of the verandah and quenching the lamp. Then he
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: went with his quick, silent tread upstairs and into Darcy's room.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: The latter was already in bed, but very wide eyed
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: and wakeful, and Frank, with an amused smile of indulgence
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: as for a fretful child, sat down on the edge
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: of the bed. Look at me, he said, and Darcy looked.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: The birds are sleeping in the break, said Frank softly,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: And the winds are asleep. The sea sleeps, and the
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: tides are but the heaving of its breast. The star
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: swinging slow rocked in the great cradle of the heavens,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: and he stopped suddenly, gently blew out Darcy's candle, and
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: left him sleeping. Morning brought to Darcy a flood of
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: hard common sense, as clear and crisp as the sunshine
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: that filled his room. Slowly, as he woke, he gathered
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: together the broken threads of the memories of the evening
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: which had ended. So he told himself in a trick
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: of common hypnotism, that accounted for it. All. The whole
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: strange talk he had had was under a spell of
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: suggestion from the extraordinary, vivid boy who had once been
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: a man all his own excitement. His acceptance of the
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: incredible had been merely the effect of a stronger, more
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: potent will imposed on his own. How strong that will was,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: he guessed from his own instantaneous obedience to Frank's suggestion
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: of sleep, and armed with impenetrable common sense, he came
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: down to breakfast. Frank had already begun and was consuming
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: a large plateful of porridge and milk with the most
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: prosaic and healthy appetite. Slept well, he asked, Yes, of course,
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: where does you learn hypnotism? By the side of the river.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: You talked an amazing quantity of nonsense last night, remarked Darcy,
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: in a voice prickly with reason. Rather, I felt quite giddy. Look,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: I remember to order a dreadful daily paper for you.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: You can read about money, markets, or politics or cricket matches.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Darcy looked at him closely in the morning light. Frank
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: looked even fresher, younger, more vital than he had done
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: the night before. In the sight of him, somehow dinted
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Darcy's armor of common sense. You are the most extraordinary
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: fellow I ever saw, He said, I want to ask
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: you some more questions. Ask away, said Frank. For the
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: next day or two Darcy applied his friend with many questions, objections,
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: and criticisms on the theory of life, and gradually got
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: out of him a coherent and complete account of his experience.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: In brief then, Frank believed that by lying naked, as
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: he put it, to the force which controls the passage
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: of the stars, the breaking of a wave, the budding
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: of a tree, the love of a youth and maiden,
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: he had succeeded in a way hitherto undreamed of, in
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: possessing himself of the essential principle of life. Day by day,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: so he thought he was getting nearer to and in
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: close union with the great power itself, which caused all
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: life to be the spirit of nature, a force or
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: the spirit of God. For himself, he confessed to what
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: others would call paganism. It was sufficient for him that
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: there existed a principle of life. He did not worship it,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: he did not pray to it, he did not praise it.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Some of it existed in all human beings, just as
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: it existed in trees and animals. To realize and make
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: living to himself the fact that it was all one
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: was his sole aim and object. Here, perhaps Darcy would
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: put in a word of warning. Take care, he said,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: to see pan meant death, did it not? Frank's eyebrows
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: would rise at this? What is that matter? He said? True?
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: The Greeks were always right, and they said so. But
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: there is another possibility. For the nearer I get to it,
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: the more living, the more vital and young I become. What, then,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: do you expect the final revelation will do for you?
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: I have told you, said he It will make me immortal.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: But it was not so much from speech and argument
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: that Darcy grew to grasp his friend's conception as from
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: the ordinary conduct of his life. They were passing, for instance,
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: one morning down the village street, when an old woman,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: very bent and decrepit, but with an extraordinary cheerfulness of face,
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: hobbled out from her cottage. Frank instantly stopped when he
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: saw her you, old darling, how goes it all? He said,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: But she did not answer. Her old dim eyes were
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: riveted on his face. She seemed to drink in, like
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: a thirsty creature, the beautiful radiance which shone there. Suddenly
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: she put her two withered old hands on his shoulders.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Here's just the sunshine itself, she said, and he kissed
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: her and passed on. But scarcely. A hundred yards further,
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: a strange contradiction of such tenderness occurred. A child running
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: along the path toward them, fell on its face and
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: set up a dismal cry. Frightened pain, A look of
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: horror came into Frank's eyes, and, putting his fingers in
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: his ears, he fled at full speed down the street,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: and did not pause till he was out of hearing. Darcy,
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: having ascertained that the child was not really hurt, followed
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: him in bewilderment. Are you without pity? Then, he asked.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Frank shook his head impatiently. Can't you see, he asked,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: can't you understand that that sort of thing, pain, anger,
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: anything unlovely, throws me back? Returned guards the coming of
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: the great hour. Perhaps when it comes, I shall be
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: able to piece that side of life onto the other,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: onto the true religion of joy. At present, I can't.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: But the old woman was she not ugly? Frank's radiance
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: gradually returned. Ah, No, she was like me. She longed
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: for joy and knew it when she saw it. The
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: old darling. Another question suggested itself. Then what about Christianity,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: asked Darcy. I can't accept it. I can't believe in
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: any creed of which the central doctrine is that God,
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: who is joy, should have had to suffer. Perhaps it
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: was so in some inscrutable way. I believe it may
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: have been so, but I don't understand how it was possible.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: So I leave it alone. My affair is joy. They
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: had come to the weir above the village, and the
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: thunder of riotous cool water was heavy in the air.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Trees dipped into the translucent stream with slender trailing branches,
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: and the meadow where they the hood was starred with
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: midsummer blossomings. Larks shot up, caroling into the crystal dome
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: of blue, and a thousand voices of June sang round them. Frank,
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: bareheaded as was his wont, with his coat slung over
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: his arm, and his shirt sleeves rolled up above the elbow.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Stood there like some beautiful wild animal, with eyes half
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: shut and mouth half open, drinking in the scented warmth
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: of the air. Then suddenly he flung himself face downwards
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: on the grass at the edge of the stream, burying
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: his face in the daisies and cowslips, and lay stretched
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: there in wide armed ecstasy, with his long fingers pressing
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: and stroking the dewy herbs of the field. Never before
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: had Darcy seen him thus fully possessed by his idea,
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: his caressing fingers, his half buried face pressed close to
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: the grass, Even the clothed lines of his figure were
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: instinct with a vitality that somehow was different from that
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: of other men. And some faint glow from it reached Darcy.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Some thrill some by from that charged recumbent body passed
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: to him, and for a moment he understood as he
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: had not understood before, despite his persistent questions and the
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: candid answer as they received, how real and how realized
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: by Frank his idea was. Then suddenly, the muscles in
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Frank's neck became stiff and alert, and he half raised
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: his head whispering the pan pipes, the pan pipes close,
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: oh so close, very slowly, as if a sudden movement
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: might interrupt the melody. He raised himself and leaned on
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: the elbow of his bent arm. His eyes opened wider,
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: the lower lids drooped, as if he focused his eyes
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: on something very far away, and the smile on his
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: face broadened and quivered like sunlight on still water, till
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: the exultance of its happiness was scarcely human. So he
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: remained motionless and rapt for some minutes. Then the look
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: of listening died from his face, and he bowed his head, satisfied. Ah,
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: that was good, he said. How is it possible you
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: did not hear? Oh, poor fellow, did you really hear nothing?
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: A week of this outdoor and stimulating life did wonders
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: and restoring to Darcy the vigor and health which his
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: weeks of fever had filched from him, And as his
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: normal activity and higher pressure of vitality returned, he seemed
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: to himself to fall even more under the spell which
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: the miracle of Frank's youth cast over him. Twenty times
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: a day. He found himself saying to himself, suddenly at
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: the end of some ten minutes silent resistance to the
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: absurdity of Frank's idea. But it isn't possible. It can't
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: be possible. And from the fact of his having to
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: assure himself so frequently of this, he knew that he
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: was struggling and arguing with a conclusion which already had
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: taken root in his mind. For in any case, a visible,
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: living miracle confronted him. Since it was equally impossible that
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: this youth, this boy trembling on the verge of manhood,
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: was thirty five. Yet such was the fact. July was
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: ushered in by a couple of days of blood stirring
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: and fretful rain, and Darcy, unwilling to risk a chill,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: kept to the house. But to Frank, this weeping change
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: of weather seemed to have no bearing on the behavior
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: of man, and he spent his days exactly as he
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: did under the suns of June, lying in his hammock,
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: stretched on the dripping grass, or making huge, rambling excursions
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: into the forest, the birds hopping from tree to tree
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: after him, to return in the evening, drenched and soaked,
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: but with the same unquenchable flame of joy burning within
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: him catch cold, he would ask, I've forgotten how to
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: do it. I think I suppose it makes one's body
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: more sensible always to sleep out of doors. People who
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: live indoors always remind me of something peeled and skinless.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: Do you mean to say you slept out of doors
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: last night and that deluge, asked Darcy. And where may
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: I ask? Frank thought a moment. I slept in the
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: hammock till nearly dawn, he said, For I remember the
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: light blinked in the east when I awoke. Then I went,
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Where did I go? Oh? Yes, to the meadow where
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: the pan pipes sounded so close a week ago. You
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: were with me, do you remember? But I always have
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: a rug if it is wet, And he went whistling upstairs. Somehow,
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: that little touch, his obvious effort to recall where he
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: had slept, brought strangely home to Darcy the wonderful romance
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: of which he was the still half incredulous beholder. Sleep
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: till close on dawn in a hammock than the tramp
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: or probably scamper underneath the windy and weeping heavens, to
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: the remote and lonely meadow by the Weir. The picture
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: of other such nights rose before him. Frank sleeping perhaps
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: by the bathing place, under the filtered twilight of the stars,
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: or the white blaze of moonshine astir, and awakening at
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: some dead hour, perhaps a space of silent, wide eyed thought,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: and then a wandering through the hushed woods to some
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: other dormitory, alone with his happiness, alone with the joy
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: in the life that suffused and enveloped him, without other
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: thought or desire or aim, except the hourly and never
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: ceasing communion with the joy of nature. They were in
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: the middle of dinner that night, talking on indifferent subjects,
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: when Darcy suddenly broke off in the middle of a sentence.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: I've got it, he said, at last, I've got it.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Congratulate you, said, Frank, But what the radical unsoundness of
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: your idea? It is this? All nature, from highest to lowest,
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: is full, crammed, full of suffering. Every living organism in
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: nature praise on another. Yet in your aim to get close,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: to be one with nature, you leave suffering altogether out,
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: You run away from it. You refuse to recognize it.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: And you are waiting, you say, for the final revelation
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: Frank's brow clouded slightly. Well, he asked, rather wearily, cannot
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: you guess then, when the final revelation will be enjoy
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: You are supreme. I grant you that I did not
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: know a man could be so master of it. You
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: have learned, perhaps practically all that nature can teach. And if,
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: as you think, the final revelation is coming to you,
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: it will be the revelation of horror, suffering, death, pain
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: in all its hideous forms. Suffering does exist. You hate
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: it and fear it. Frank held up his hand. Stop
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: let me think, he said. There was silence for a
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: long minute that never struck me. He said, at length,
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: it is possible that what you suggest is true. Does
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: the sight of pan mean that? Do you think? Is
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: it that nature take it all together? Suffers horribly, suffers
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: to a hideous, inconceivable extent. Shall I be shown all
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: the suffering? He got up and came round to where
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Darcy sat. If it is so, so be it, he said, Because,
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: my dear fellow, I am near, so splendidly near to
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: the final revelation. Today the pipes have sounded almost without pause.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: I have even heard the rustle and the bushes. I
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: believe of Pan's coming. I have seen, Yes, I saw
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: to day the bushes pushed aside as if by a hand,
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: and piece of a face not human peered through. But
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: I was not frightened. At least I did not run
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: away this time. He took a turn up to the
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: window and back again. Yes, there is suffering all through,
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: he said, And I have left it all out of
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: my search. Perhaps, as you say, the revelation will be that,
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: and in that case it will be good bye. I
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: have gone on one line. I shall have gone too
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: far along one road without having explored the other. But
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: I can't go back now. I wouldn't if I could
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: not a step would I retrace. In any case, whatever
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: the revelation is, it will be God. I am sure
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: of that. The rainy weather soon passed, and with the
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: return of the sun, Darcy again joined Frank in long,
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: rambling days. It grew extraordinarily hotter, and with the fresh
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: bursting of life after the rain, Frank's vitality seemed to
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: blaze higher and higher. Then, as is the habit of
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: the English weather, one evening clouts began to bank themselves
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: up in the west. The sun went down in a
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: glare of coppery thunder rack, and the whole earth broiling
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: under an unspeakable oppression and sultriness. Paused and panted for
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: the storm. After sunset, the remote fires of lightning began
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: to wink and flicker on the horizon, But when bedtime came,
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: the storm seemed to have moved no nearer, though a
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: very low, unceasing noise of thunder was audible. Wherein, oppressed
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: by the stress of the day, Darcy fell at once
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: into a heavy, uncomforting sleep. He woke suddenly into full
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: consciousness with the din of some appalling explosion of thunder
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: in his ears, and sat up in bed with racing heart. Then,
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: for a moment, as he recovered himself from the panic
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: land which lies between sleeping and waking, there was a
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: silence except for the steady hissing of rain on the
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: shrubs outside his window. But suddenly that silence was shattered
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: and shredded into fragments by a scream from somewhere close
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: at hand, outside in the black garden, a scream of
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: supreme and despairing terror again, and once again it shrilled up,
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: and then a babble of awful words was interjected a quivering,
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: sobbing voice that he knew, said my God, Oh, my God,
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Oh Christ, and then followed a little mocking, bleeding laugh.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: Then was silence again, Only the rain hissed on the shrubs.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: All this was but the affair of a moment, and
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: without pause either to put on his clothes or light
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: a candle, Darcy was already fumbling at his door handle.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: Even as he opened it, he met a terror stricken
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: face outside, that of the man servant who carried a light.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: Did you hear that? He asked. The man's face was
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: bleached to a dull, shining whiteness. Yes, sir, he said,
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: it was the Master's voice. Together they hurried down the
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: stairs and through the dining room, where an orderly table
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: for breakfast had already been laid, and out on to
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: the terrace. The rain for the moment had been utterly stayed,
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: as if the tap of the heavens had been turned off.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: And under the lowering black sky not quite dark since
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: the moon rode somewhere soeren behind the conglomerated thunder clouds,
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: Darcy stumbled into the garden, followed by the servant with
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: a candle. The monstrous leaping shadow of himself was cast
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: before him on the lawn, lost in wandering odors of
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: rose and lily and damp earth were thick about him.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: But more pungent was some sharp and acrid smell that
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: suddenly reminded him of a certain chalet in which he
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: had once taken refuge in the Alps. In the blackness
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: of the hazy light from the sky and the vague
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: tossing of the candle behind him, he saw that the
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: hammock in which Frank so often lay was tenanted. A
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: gleam of white shirt was there, as if a man
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: sitting up in it, But across that there was an
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: obscure dark shadow, and as he approached the acrid odor
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: grew more intense. He was now only some few yards
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: away when suddenly the black shadows seemed to jump into
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: the air, then came down with tappings of hard hoofs
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: on the brick path that ran down the pergola, and
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: with frolicsome skippings galloped off into the bushes. When that
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: was gone, Darcy could see quite clearly that a shirted
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: figure sat up in the hammock for one moment. From
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: sheer terror of the unseen. He hung on his step,
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: and the servant joined him as they walked together to
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: the hammock. It was frank, He was in shirt and
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: trousers only, and he sat up with braced arms. For
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: one half second he stared at them, his face a
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: mask of horrible, contorted terror. His upper lips were drawn
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: back so that the gums of the teeth appeared, and
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: his eyes were focussed not on the two who approached him,
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: but on something quite close to him. His nostrils were
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: widely expanded, as if he panted for breath, and terror
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: incarnate and repulsion and deathly anguish ruled dreadful lines on
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: his smooth cheeks and forehead. Then, even as they looked,
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: the body sank backwards, and the ropes of the hammock
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: wheezed and strained. Darcy lifted him out and carried him indoors.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: Once he thought there was a faint, convulsive stir of
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: the limbs that lay with so dead a weight in
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: his arms. But when they got inside there was no
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: trace of life. But the look of supreme terror and
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: agony of fear had gone from his face. A boy
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: tired with play, but still smiling in his sleep was
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: the burden. He laid on the floor. His eyes had closed,
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: and the beautiful mouth lay in smiling curves, even as
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: when a few mornings ago in the meadow by the weir,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: it had quivered to the music of the unheard melody
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: of Pan's pipes. Then they looked further. Frank had come
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: back from his bath before dinner that night in his
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: usual costume of shirt and trousers. Only he had not dressed,
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: and during dinner, so Darcy remembered, he had rolled up
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: the sleeves of his shirt to above the elbow. Later,
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: as they sat and talked after dinner, on the close
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: sultriness of the evening, he had unbuttoned the front of
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: his shirt to let what little breath of wind there
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: was play on his skin. The sleeves rolled up. Now
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: the front of the shirt was unbuttoned, and on his
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: arms and on the brown skin of his chest were
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: strange discolorations which grew momentally more clear and defined till
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: they saw the marks were pointed prints, as if caused
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: by the hoofs of some monstrous goat that had leaped
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: and stamped upon him. End of Section seven