Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR) by Sarah J. Maas - Does this Romantasy Live Up to the Hype?

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A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR) by Sarah J. Maas - Does this Romantasy Live Up to the Hype? · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

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Hi friends, you're listening to Loose the Plot with Carla and
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Emily. In this episode we're reading A
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Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas.
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We are talking about the entire book, so warning there will be
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spoilers. I'm Carla and better to die with
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my chin held high than groveling like a cowering worm.
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I'm Emily and who knew a good eyeball licking would get
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favours? Coochie blowing Before we embark
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on this enchanting journey from the mortal lands to Prythian, we
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have a small trial for you to complete.
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If our past episodes have piqued your curiosity and you want
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more, take a moment now to visit our profile and bestow upon us a
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five star review on your preferred platform.
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Your glowing endorsement will help us reach more fairy
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enthusiasts and make our podcast even more legendary.
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Share our podcast with your enlightened friends.
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We're deeply grateful for your support and look forward to more
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thrilling escapades together. I have anxiety so I never look
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at our ratings but I don't know if you noticed we have like 32
1:20
ratings. Oh you guys are being horn
1:24
working for going straight to my ego.
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Not the. 30. Reviews.
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That's a whole classroom. We're educating people.
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Well, imagine if we were your teachers.
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No. No.
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Illegal. Illegal.
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I'm too dumb. There's no quality.
1:47
It's only quantity for me. So we're going to be out of
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public school. Clearly.
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You're like, I didn't even finish public school.
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Now I did. Girl.
2:03
So let's get. Into I found some trigger
2:06
warnings from booktriggerwarnings.com.
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However I adapted the list because a lot of them were
2:11
double ups and I was like come on now.
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Abduction, death, drugging, emotional abuse, murder,
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physical abuse, sexual abuse, torture and violence, financial
2:25
abuse. Just went for the button.
2:30
Like no, stop, wait financially. Sounds so modern.
2:37
They didn't invent that yet. She was financially being
2:40
abused. Facts though.
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I just didn't think about it because old timey money doesn't
2:46
exist to me for like 2 cents. I'm like girl.
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Well, was she? Yeah.
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I love how I I was. Debated.
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No, but she was OK. She was working, working hard
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for them coins and they would just take them like the little
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rats they are. So that's how she.
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Cornings anything else off the top before we get into it men no
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every time trigger, trigger. Men Fairy.
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Men. Look, this book has a cult
3:22
following. It does.
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So if we included you're part of the cult if we get if you've
3:31
never listened to our podcast. Before.
3:35
Strap. In we take the piss strap on.
3:38
Colour hates everything. Literally was.
3:41
In my car on the way over here and I was like, colour's gonna
3:43
shoot on a book. I like.
3:45
Oh, always, always, always and forever.
3:48
It's fine. I know this one is not good,
3:51
don't get me wrong. You're shitting it at yourself
3:54
before I can. I haven't even said anything
3:57
yet. I think I'm like setting myself
4:00
up. Toilet one, accidentally press
4:03
the thought. Oh OK.
4:08
Well a fart is more appropriate if I'm already shitting.
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I know. So it worked anyway.
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So I mean. That being said, if you're new
4:18
to this podcast, it's not serious.
4:20
I don't know what to. Tell you girl, if you.
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Start like expecting character analysis and plot?
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Nah girl you went to the wrong place.
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We don't have enough brain cells to do that.
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Nah, attention. Span.
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Zero of a flea, if that. That's generous.
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So Feyra. She's our main.
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Female. Character.
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Of course she's. 19. Illiterate poor skinny girl
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Huntress beautiful. Though.
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Fighter face card never declines.
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Never declines. Hair soft, shiny, supple.
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Skin. Glistening, glistening pale
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privilege. Women.
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What woman? Privilege.
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She was rich. She is a human being.
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She was rich. She was rich.
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She was born into privilege. Artist.
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Artist, artist, artiste. More importantly, artiste.
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More importantly. I don't know if you know this
5:26
about the, like, Akita. Everyone's convinced that she
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can't actually paint. Yeah, because she never does.
5:34
She does all the time. That's a conspiracy theory and
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I'm on board. No, they think she's.
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That bad at painting and everyone just is like she's
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great maybe. Because they don't know.
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What a human equivalent of a good artwork is.
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Yeah, so the fairies are looking at it and going Sure, Hon, sure.
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You're doing amazing, sweetie. When really, it's chicken
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scratch. Oh, yeah.
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I can't wait till we get to the book where she paints the cabin.
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Oh. OK, yeah.
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Does she just slap some Dulex on that?
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She would literally go sit there like a message.
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Primal. She win.
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She goes to their winter cabin and she starts drawing, like,
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their faces on everything. There's eyes on the JoJo Siwa.
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Did you see? She drives around with her face
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on it and then she picks her boogers and eats it in her car
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with her face on it. Girl, I seen that.
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She was like, I just got to be drive more careful because
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people like they didn't ram into it, but they like skirt into it.
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I'm like, just don't do it. Yeah, I would.
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That's white woman privilege. Scary white woman.
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I don't know. So going back to Favor and away
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from JoJo Siwa. Sorry, no, I brought her up.
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She's awesome and you always apologise.
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Can we just talk about home? Girl has IBS.
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Yes, yes, yes, yes. OK.
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There's diagnosing her from afar.
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No, because I wrote this down because if there's anything
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Sarah J Maas is consistent with, it's all of her female main
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characters have chronic diarrhea all the time, watery bows all
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the time. But like, hot girls have stomach
7:19
issues they do. So does that.
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Make her a hot. Girl or does it?
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Is that why she's got the stomach issues?
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Hot girls aren't shitting themselves.
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Maybe that's like the. Pinnacle of hot girl is shitting
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herself. I just literally every time
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there's watery bows. Watery bows all the time.
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Watery throwing a glass. Her other series, Aylan,
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actually shits herself in a cave.
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Stop it. Yes, that's the T That's it.
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You heard it here first, people. 10 years.
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Later, like 10 years later, why are they?
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Always watery. I know everyone knows about
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Aylan shitting in that cave. Yeah, that's what I mean.
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Like. It's so late on that we're.
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Claiming. That it's red hot tea.
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You get it. You're camping queen.
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You know what though? Why she's so squirty?
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How? How is it instantly watery?
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How feel your bowels turning to diarrhea?
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Isn't it kind of watery down there anyway?
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Doesn't it? Doesn't it have to be something?
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She's one thing. She's either hydrated or
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dehydrated from all the shit she's shitting.
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Maybe she just has to eat more solid food.
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Maybe she's doing like a maybe her body body's going to panic
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because it's been starved for five years.
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Could you imagine? Like you say you're in a forest
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and then, as I am often. Yeah, you are often.
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You little fairy, you little fae Princess.
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Something's attacking you and you're supposed to be big and
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scary. You're trying to attack it with
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your bone quiver, and then you shoot yourself one.
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They're always trying to eat her.
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Would they still eat her? She's got shit.
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Down her leg, probably, yeah. Isn't that not the source?
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This is the. Diarrhea.
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Not the source. Isn't that not the garnish?
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I. Don't know.
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Wait, what? Animals are we talking about?
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Because I feel like some of the things that tried to kill her.
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Yeah. So the not a, it's flesh just to
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avoid the bad part. That's what I do with bananas.
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You just don't need the brown bit.
9:27
Wow, so relevant. If your banana had a little shit
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on that, you just cop around. Yeah, but if.
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I'm a monkey. What do I count?
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Eat shit. Anyway, I think context matters.
9:41
So you're saying that you're too good?
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For your food. Oh, how about that?
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How about? How How about like this?
9:50
Prep first. You know when you like, cook the
9:53
chicken. The salmonella dies like Pirates
9:55
of the Caribbean. Yeah.
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Where they like, hype him up as king and then they try to boil
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him a lot. Like not, not like emotional
10:02
crap, but like physical crap. But the bacteria dies.
10:07
I suppose you just roll into the river, roll her out, because if
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you're starving and there's not a lot of human beings to eat.
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I mean. She's a delicacy even with shit.
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Maybe the shit is you could. Just rinse her off.
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OK. It's liquid.
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I hope so. Like we're very invested.
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In this, like, we just took like halfway through the book and now
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we're going to go back. That's okay.
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It's all right. It's all right.
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Okay. So talking about stereotypes, of
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course she has a dead mom. And her dad.
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For whatever reason is on a pedestal, even though it's
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literally his fault that he lost all the family money.
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And he just. Limps around being a loser.
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He's a piece of shit, but so is her mom.
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Mom's a piece of shit too, but. Her mom's dead.
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Good. #Dead.
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Mom dead mom when will we ever have a mom that's alive?
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Never. I don't know any character with
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a live mom and if they are alive they're a.
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Horrible mom. She's the combo, yeah.
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But the dad's just stupid. Like he doesn't even talk.
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You're just letting your kids go out hunting, She's been doing
11:17
since she was 14. You're just sitting on your
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lazy. Doing wood fucking carvings like
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there isn't easier ways to do it.
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Is he selling these? He tries to.
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No one wants to buy them because they're all broke.
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So why no one needs your Knick knacks?
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Exactly. Can't he build something that
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people do need? Like furniture or?
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Exactly, they have one bed and it's the bed their mom died on.
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I guess you you can't really throw out.
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These things, no. When you're popper.
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They had money for three years. If you had no money, wouldn't
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you be trying to work that shit out anywhere?
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You're like, wouldn't you be trying to invest in stocks?
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That's what he did. Essentially, yeah, he did put
11:59
some money in on Bitcoin. No, he put money in on Dogecoin.
12:03
Essentially, that's what he did. He just put it all into Facebook
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and now he's legless, Legless, spineless.
12:14
He was like, no. Freya, don't go.
12:15
And then it was like don't come back.
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You don't know if she's going to die.
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Make up your mind bro. She's out hunting trying to feed
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her family. Her sisters are bitchy 1 and
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bitchy 2. Exactly.
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Elaine's just so stupid. They're both the older sisters,
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too. So it's giving Cinderella.
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Well, it is a Beauty and the Beast retelling.
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Belle didn't have siblings at least.
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And her dad was nice. Her dad loved her.
12:41
Belle. We can't have girls with parents
12:44
that are nice. Duh.
12:46
Where would our trauma come from exactly?
12:50
So first of all, she sees this wolf.
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Yeah, yeah. Weird.
12:54
Weird that he's. Even there.
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Weird that he's huge. She like had a bit of an.
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Inkling because something wasn't.
13:01
Right. This is a fairy.
13:02
Doesn't look like a fairy, but it is.
13:04
But she's new. She's like, yeah, me, me, I'm
13:07
poor. And she's like.
13:10
I. Shouldn't I?
13:11
Tasty little. But should I?
13:14
She does like, you know how they break the, what is it?
13:17
The 4th wall, 5th wall? And maybe she's like turned.
13:19
She's like, should I do it? That's how I experienced the
13:23
book. Yeah.
13:24
Yeah. She turned to us and went wink.
13:29
And I'm like. Girl, get it?
13:30
Let's get this plot moving, babe.
13:32
We had a whole chapter of her just slowly creeping through the
13:35
woods. Yes, beat it up, bitch.
13:38
And. You know what the wolf didn't?
13:40
He just took it like a champ. He's like, you know what?
13:42
What a man, what a man. He didn't even come up to attack
13:45
her. You can't tell me this was not
13:47
the hottest fairy out of them all because he's surrendered
13:51
immediately. Yes, So we should on his knees
13:54
down, boy. So she obviously, like takes her
13:57
kill. Got to feed that family.
13:59
Could you imagine? Not only does she skin him?
14:01
Fair enough, but what if she just took home this whole fairy
14:04
to eat? And he just.
14:07
Changed his back slowly into a man and he didn't.
14:10
Hey, for whatever reason, he stays in wool form.
14:12
Yep. How did she lug both back?
14:15
She just. She took the pallet.
14:18
Yeah. So she took the pallet, left the
14:19
body. Yes.
14:20
Wouldn't you still need that for something?
14:22
Yeah. She's a small girl.
14:24
Dainty. She's dainty.
14:25
Did she petite? Then couple days later, right,
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they go to the marketplace 'cause she's like, I'm a sell
14:31
this pelt, get your monies. And then the fucking sisters are
14:34
like, I need the new Gucci bag and she's like, shut up.
14:37
Like I'm just trying to sell. Some pelt so we can eat she's.
14:39
Like, I'm like in the woods all the time in winter.
14:42
My toes are out. She's got no toes.
14:44
You can't tell me. She has any toes?
14:47
She's a totalist bitch. They're crunchy, crunchy.
14:51
They've they've got just like the full necrosis.
14:53
Like they're yeah, they're they're black and crunchy past
14:56
the point of being frostbitten. Yeah, yeah, no, they're gone.
14:59
They're frost ate, that is. Ash.
15:01
It's just it's just slightly bootles away to nothing as she.
15:05
Was sisters who. Sit up in the house all day are
15:07
like you need beats. And eggs and scarves.
15:10
And it's like, OK, Alaine's like, I won't even freezing.
15:14
Go just sit inside near the fire like you do every other day.
15:18
You just. Clogged Elaine so bad.
15:20
I was like, why do you care? You're not leaving the house,
15:22
you're not doing anything. You're embarrassed, You're
15:24
conserving calories, you're eating dear meat.
15:27
Go be embarrassed inside. And The thing is.
15:30
They're just. Waiting for these hoes to get
15:31
married off anyway. Mm hmm.
15:33
What else are they good for? Mm hmm.
15:34
But the ironic thing is, they would have to pay a dowry for
15:37
any man who's gonna. Come get him.
15:39
So they have no. Time Fuck.
15:40
Me it's like a very big problem. Like I can't.
15:44
Afford to get rid of your asses. No, I'm so glad we don't live in
15:48
a world where I need a dowry. Why should you?
15:50
Pay. I mean should.
15:52
My. Family pay.
15:54
Oh, that makes a lot of sense. To get rid of you get rid.
15:58
Of. Me, at first, I was like, it
16:01
makes sense. But also if you have to put up
16:05
with the man who's paying me. Nobody.
16:08
Even. Get fucked.
16:09
Oh, you're practically not a person.
16:11
It is just slavery. We want to like, preach, get to
16:15
the rule crux of the issue. We want to Fast forward to the
16:20
actual problem. It's just slavery.
16:24
What about We live in? So.
16:27
She's at the market. She's trying to woo down with
16:30
sisters. I wouldn't.
16:30
Have even brought them Fuck them, they don't.
16:32
Deserve to go. Was it at the?
16:34
Market or when she got back home?
16:36
When? Oh, me just busting the door.
16:38
OK, Middle of the night back home.
16:41
Yeah, bust in, bust in. He's like your stupid little
16:43
wood carvings on your door. Does not stop me.
16:47
Gagged. Everyone's shitting themselves,
16:50
literally. It's literally shit everywhere
16:53
and Tamel's like oh I. Don't know what?
16:55
This is off for me. And is Tamelen's in beast falsy
17:01
form? No, he's in.
17:02
See, I don't understand what he is because they say beasties,
17:06
they say wolf beast mode, he's put the Crocs on beast mode and.
17:10
He's buzzing. Please be in search for it.
17:16
But I'm probably just. Sniff around for your teenage.
17:18
Girls. Give me your young one.
17:22
I love our retelling him just in Crocs in sport mode.
17:28
If that's not the fair night you want to see it, I don't know
17:30
what is. Don't want to pay us for this
17:32
adaptation? Something's wrong in the world
17:36
anyway. Anyway.
17:41
Travelling, yes. I don't know what he is because
17:44
he has horns too. Did you just call him
17:46
travelling? I said travelling like
17:49
travelling on from travelling. OK, Yes, yes, yes, yes.
17:51
Travelling on. They call him Tampon.
17:54
Who? The cult, Yeah.
17:56
No one likes him. But where do you get tampon
17:58
from? Tamlin the Tam.
18:01
I get it if you want to call him Tammy Lin, because that's kind
18:04
of funny. Is everyone called that?
18:07
But we're like. We got a preference that Carla
18:10
has not in fact read the second book, so she has no idea why.
18:15
And I'm not going to tell you it's fine, but does anyone
18:17
really like a tampon? Feels a little invasive.
18:22
Not a lot, just a little. I can't remember who was.
18:27
Talking to you, but they're like, I don't understand who
18:30
wears. Pads.
18:31
I'm. Like I.
18:32
Don't. Understand.
18:34
They're like girls with light flow, I mean.
18:38
I don't shove a. Whole tampon up there for no
18:40
reason. I have a heavy flow and I'm not
18:41
shoving a tampon up there. It feels like, well, that's even
18:45
more scary. You've got to pull it out.
18:47
It's got to go and dry. That's what I mean.
18:49
Like, I don't know. And I was.
18:51
Toxic shock syndrome is the thing.
18:52
Oh, not only that, but they properly revealed.
18:55
It's always been speculated, but there's like, carcinogenic.
18:59
Yeah. Chemicals in tampons, which of
19:02
course they'd put it in our coochie so that we absorb it
19:04
quicker. Oh, exactly.
19:06
Hello. Hello.
19:07
We're not needed. There's just another one of us
19:11
down the road. Yeah.
19:13
And he's busting in and he's like, bitch, you killed my.
19:16
Mate. And.
19:18
Essentially, he's saying. You know what you signed up for?
19:20
Now I own you for life, and I'm here to take you.
19:24
Yeah. He takes her home like a little.
19:27
He like he went to the pet store.
19:28
Yeah. But there was a bit of a.
19:30
Bat here because she was kind of like, I didn't know she did.
19:35
She. Got to be like, he got to be
19:37
like, this isn't a joke. He's like foaming out the mouth
19:40
and she's like, because at first she was kind of like, I can just
19:43
get away with this, like how I get away with everything.
19:46
And he was kind of like, no, bitch, I'm fucking serious
19:49
either I kill you now, he won't you come with me.
19:52
But then little does she know is he needs the pussy back home so
19:56
she's not dying anyway. She's hot to go, She's hot to
19:59
go. She's like, Oh no, I better
20:02
honour this treaty like it's treaty.
20:06
Written on toilet. Paper.
20:07
It's not I'm. Fucking it's it's real.
20:09
It's not real because later the book else is like you could have
20:12
killed half of us and no one could have done shit.
20:14
Exactly. I'm like, where is this written
20:17
down? They just lie to her.
20:18
They treat her like shit. She's got full stop home
20:21
syndrome. It's kind of like just kill me
20:24
in front of my family then I'm fucking miserable anyway.
20:27
Literally, I feel like and. Get it over.
20:29
With bro, my second ungrateful sisters busting us, Dad busting
20:34
us every day. Yeah, just to survive lugging
20:37
firewood that my sisters refused to cut.
20:39
Well, the worst thing is Nestor is not is just not doing it to
20:42
see if her dad would do it. So you're just putting all this
20:45
mental load on your little sister out of spite.
20:48
Trout tameling. It's like, whatever, you're
20:50
coming. And it's like, OK.
20:52
Well, she has some twits, yeah. She's like, oh, she's like
20:55
killing my whole family. Are we going now?
20:57
You'll solve the problem with starvation.
20:59
And she was very worried. Because obviously she's leaving
21:02
a hopeless family. Behind.
21:05
The better end of the deal and she's gone.
21:08
Don't get me started on that shit.
21:10
I'm like what? This man doesn't have that much
21:13
money. If this beast came to me and
21:15
said I'm going to take you away from here, you have to come with
21:18
me to live in my fairy land, I'd be like, how much do I owe you?
21:22
What is the payment? Plan.
21:24
If someone said no bills I would be gone.
21:28
But but. I would be like what am I
21:30
required? What's my daily requirements?
21:33
Because I'm not going to clean house.
21:36
I'm I'm going to sit there watch today.
21:39
I'm not. Cleaning I'm.
21:42
Not going to eat the diarrhea girl.
21:44
You're not. Going to clean up.
21:45
Someone's dirty socks. I'm on my high horse and I'm
21:49
going to stay up there. I'm not doing no one's laundry.
21:53
If you're kidnapping me against my will, I'm doing nothing.
21:58
I'm not pretty with a dungeon, then that's fine.
22:00
I'm doing nothing. OK.
22:02
You're like, finally me time. You're loving it.
22:05
You're like quiet. You're like, oh.
22:06
Fuck's sake. No one like no stupid sisters
22:10
nagging me about like Gucci boots getting fed three times a
22:13
day, get to nap to drink exactly I wouldn't care how long.
22:18
She's. Like, oh, this is my life now.
22:20
This is a holiday. You're like, sorry, guys, off to
22:23
my holiday house. What if you didn't have like,
22:27
your phone or TikTok or iPad, though?
22:30
I'm stare at a wall. OK?
22:32
I'd dissociate. Dissociating Queen.
22:34
Yeah. You're like, it's fine.
22:36
It's just on my routine. If I had nothing, I'd probably
22:39
go a little crazy and start writing on the wall with shit.
22:43
I won't eat shit, but I'll write with shit.
22:45
OK? It's called having standards.
22:47
It's a difference. Oh, but yeah, if he was like, no
22:50
bills, I'd be like, say less, say less.
22:52
I'd be like, I don't need to know what kind of sexual things
22:55
I got to do with you, Sir, You OK?
22:58
But looking at this man, even with a mask on, which she hasn't
23:02
seen yet. Yeah, She hasn't seen the full
23:04
package yet. I would be like, yeah, OK, he's
23:08
not ugly. He's like in beast mode.
23:09
I'm like, yeah, whatever you're like, gonna is what it is.
23:14
He said no bills, no whack. She reluctantly agrees.
23:18
However, she's very begrudgingly going on this stupid.
23:22
As soon as she gets there, she sees the very world and it's
23:25
beautiful and it's Immaculate and it's like ethereal.
23:27
She didn't even have to go through the whole trip.
23:30
She got to sleep the whole way, right?
23:33
She got roofied. Yeah.
23:35
Love that for her. Yeah.
23:38
He didn't want her to know. How to get in?
23:40
She gets in later anyway. She had one eye.
23:44
Open for Selena. She's just.
23:47
Like she's like she's. Like eyes rolling back in her
23:51
head, she just knows how to put it on, but just say her like
23:56
tolerance is really high so that it didn't work on her.
23:59
It's a theory. It doesn't really.
24:02
It was. It doesn't work.
24:03
On Nestor. So they're assuming that their
24:04
mum may have been like a fairy or a witch.
24:08
Wow. OK.
24:08
It's giving True Blood. They're like, bitch, you're
24:11
looking a bit rough. She has a full extreme makeover.
24:14
Yeah. They scrub her down Hunger Game
24:16
style, top to toe Gurney pressure washer.
24:20
Gurney. We do.
24:21
Molasses, honestly. Back second.
24:27
Honestly, I would know Wax. I honestly wouldn't be surprised
24:31
if she did get a flea dip though.
24:33
Little eyebrow wax, nails painted top 2 tank.
24:37
They looked in her mouth and they're like, we might pull them
24:40
all out and just put some fake open near.
24:45
She's got them. The original doffins.
24:48
She's spinning it up and ready to go.
24:51
She's chomping at the bed with that new horse teeth.
24:56
No wonder they. Call her a wild beast When you
25:01
take horse, go a little too far for a second there.
25:07
It's like we're reaching the saddle club.
25:09
We're like wait only in like chapter 3, girl, we've been
25:15
doing this for half an hour. We.
25:17
Need to get. We need to get going.
25:18
You're going to have. To too far this shit.
25:23
We've got to giddy up on that horsey.
25:26
She doesn't want to wear dresses.
25:28
She's like, give me pants. Yeah, of course.
25:32
No one fits her size. And.
25:35
Then nobody has. Nobody has pants for this girl.
25:39
She's pantless. Panty less.
25:41
She's Winnie the poohing. I meant Winnie the pooing.
25:48
I don't know if she should be pantless.
25:50
Not if she's shitting, no. She learns that they're fairies,
25:54
obviously. So eye opening.
25:56
It's very much Harry going the Hogwarts.
25:57
I suppose in a way, this book is very Harry Potter.
26:01
Very condensed though. Because it was kind of like,
26:04
deal with it. Whereas Harry Potter's very like
26:07
slow, like you dip the toe and then you slowly go into the
26:11
magical world. He's just like.
26:13
Sedative. You're in.
26:16
Black out wake. Up your ear.
26:18
And then he's like like, work that shit out.
26:19
He's like, get with the program sis.
26:22
Also, they very much all expect her to know the law, the
26:25
backgrounds of everything. And they blame her for shit down
26:29
the track. She had no fucking.
26:31
Idea about and she takes. That on she.
26:32
Just goes like, yeah, yeah, she should have known better.
26:35
This is my problem with the entire book of every other
26:38
character. Why do they hate her?
26:40
They hate her. Like they didn't send their
26:43
friend in the forest to get killed by a woman for a curse
26:47
they caused. Yeah.
26:48
And then to bring her back to then to break the curse.
26:52
Yeah. And then when she didn't break
26:53
it because she didn't know what was happening, they were all
26:55
pissed at her. Like it wasn't their fault to
26:57
begin. With.
26:58
And then she come back. And they were like, why the?
27:00
Fuck you here bitch, you're making it worse.
27:02
She. Came to save your.
27:03
Useless asses also. Why would she?
27:06
Want to save them when every single day she's being put down
27:11
by. Every.
27:12
Single person? Yep.
27:15
If it's not Tamlin, it's Lucian, and if it's not Lucian, it's
27:17
Alice. And then I would have gone off.
27:20
I do not understand why Alice is like you, stupid human girl.
27:24
You're not fucking nice. No, that's not.
27:26
Always act better than her. They call her stupid and a fool.
27:30
They look. Like she's.
27:31
Scum. If you knew the second.
27:33
Coming of Jesus, say, was here to save humanity?
27:36
Yes. Would you be?
27:37
Sitting there going. Yeah, hippie scum every 5
27:39
minutes. Exactly.
27:42
They're blaming her for not falling in love quicker.
27:44
But I was like, would you? Because I wouldn't.
27:47
They're lucky. She even got there in the end.
27:49
Oh chest, I wouldn't. Even be in like with it they do
27:54
like 2 nice things and they're like we should be kissing.
27:57
Yeah but two nice things that essentially benefit them.
28:01
It's nothing to like benefit her.
28:03
No, they didn't go. Oh, look at this struggling girl
28:06
in her human. Realm.
28:08
Let's take her as our pet, no? They're like, oh someone finally
28:11
took the bait dumb bitch, and they snatch.
28:14
Her they steal her away from. Her family traumatize her and
28:17
then they're mad. But then don't tell her.
28:19
Anything. Admit that they can't tell her
28:21
anything. Yeah, but then use it against
28:23
her later. She's like, why don't you know
28:25
anything? It's like.
28:26
I'm like. At most, Tamlin did kind of
28:29
like, let her overhear things. But I'm like, try harder.
28:32
Exactly. Write a note to Lucian about all
28:35
your problems and leave it on the table.
28:37
She's nosy. Oh, she can't read or have a
28:39
journal? Look, they needed to do it.
28:43
They didn't know that. They didn't know that
28:45
originally. Well, they knew about it soon
28:48
enough, so they. Transformed.
28:49
Back. Into their fairy form, Tamel,
28:53
and mainly, but also like the other people living there.
28:55
And she realises that they're all model hot.
28:58
I'm talking like Calvin Klein, Victoria's Secret hot warriors.
29:03
And they can't. Lie.
29:06
These are hot. Men that can't lie, this is what
29:09
women have been looking. For since the dawn of time and
29:12
she's stumbled across a world without bills.
29:16
Hot men who can't lie. Exactly.
29:18
Except they can. Yeah, but by by like they can't
29:22
straight up tell you a lie. No, they can.
29:25
But she thinks they can't. Yeah.
29:26
So like when you're there the like initially you're like.
29:30
Finally. It has.
29:31
Happened to me just like Oh my God fucking human world can get.
29:36
Fucked. I'm never going back.
29:38
Yay. It's like Barbie the movie where
29:43
she hops in her car and goes to better.
29:46
I haven't watched it. Oh my God, you've got to watch
29:49
it. You know what pisses me off?
29:50
Okay, so her whole mentality this whole time, she doesn't
29:53
think about her much. She's like, Oh my God.
29:56
I promised my cold dead mum to look after my youthless family.
30:01
My narcissistic piece of shit lying mum that emotionally
30:06
abused us for years. Exactly.
30:08
She's like, I really care about what she thinks.
30:11
So, people. Because.
30:13
Of her shitty mum. People hate Nestor OK Because
30:16
she's an asshole. She's more of an asshole.
30:19
Facts. I understand why she's an
30:21
asshole because I'm assuming her mum speak was like speaking to
30:25
her like that every single day until she died.
30:28
But I mean to be fair, assholes in life get what they want.
30:31
Yes they do. So it's working for her girl and
30:34
they use her being an asshole all the time in this book.
30:38
Hmm. Literally.
30:39
It was actually superpower, Yeah.
30:42
I mean, constantly. She'd be like, just find Nesta
30:44
at the end. Yeah, Nesta.
30:46
Will help you. She's got it.
30:48
And then so. Tamlyn.
30:49
'S like. 'Cause she keeps talking about
30:51
her mouth. Yeah, he's just like, oh, don't
30:52
worry about it, They're better. Off Are you just gonna believe
30:55
him? Just fucking tell her what's
30:57
going on. Why do they always keep these
31:00
things secret? She's.
31:01
Like. Shitting herself with anxiety,
31:03
like, Oh no, it's been 3 days and they can't have lived off
31:06
the the deer's gone. Yeah, yeah, just let her know.
31:10
In my mind, I don't think he had done it at that point.
31:13
And maybe. 'Cause he'll.
31:15
Keep it napping. This girl you fucking hate,
31:17
right? And then, sorry, I'm just
31:20
imagining who I hate. You hate her, You kidnap this
31:23
girl you hate, you despise her, and then you're just going to
31:27
take care of her family. Yeah, come on now.
31:29
Also it's unrealistic because he's forced to also fall in love
31:34
with this random girl so I would I would pay to be in Tamlin's
31:38
head because he's probably like this icky girl.
31:41
Very ick. He's probably like this weird
31:43
bitch she. Smells like diarrhea.
31:45
All the time so she can't fucking read if paintings are
31:49
weird. Oh, she's the weird girl.
31:54
Do you know what I mean though? Like now that you say it all
31:56
like that, you love a weird girl.
32:02
Not. Like hobby horsing, weird girl.
32:06
Yeah. Just all those things together.
32:08
Like she's got bad Bo, you know what I mean?
32:11
Like all the she meows in class. Yeah.
32:14
Like there's just a lot of things going.
32:16
On yeah, she gets that. At this point of the book I was
32:19
kind of like her problems aren't problemy enough also.
32:24
She. Didn't have any personality.
32:25
No, there was nothing. It was very woe was me.
32:29
My sister improved, but she was still whinging.
32:32
Yes, your quality of life. Just went.
32:35
Through the roof compared to where we started and you're
32:38
complaining why? Your family's fine.
32:41
She's constantly like I need to warn them.
32:44
Oh. About what?
32:45
They're normal human beings that don't even know very world
32:48
exists. And they wouldn't believe you
32:49
anyway. Yeah.
32:50
You've got free food. It's amazing.
32:52
You're on holiday. You're riding horses with a hot
32:55
redhead. I don't know, like, yeah.
32:57
All day. Hot redhead, blonde one on the
33:00
side. She has more chemistry
33:03
consistently with Lucian than she has ever had with Tim.
33:06
Easily. But is he giving Gay Lucian?
33:09
Yeah. No.
33:10
I sort of saw. Him as like so hot that he's gay
33:14
probably but I feel like he was much more conversational and
33:17
nice to her. Obviously with being rude but
33:20
not too bad. See he has so much personality
33:23
in the second book too. I don't know if she just gets
33:25
bored with the character and she just.
33:27
He loses all personality in every other book.
33:29
The first two books he was one of my favorite characters
33:32
because he's funnier than literally anyone else.
33:36
She also has. Time to just sit around the
33:39
room, paint, read books she can't read.
33:43
Oh yeah, fuck. She's just.
33:45
Chilling. I keep.
33:49
Confusing doing artwork with sitting there reading.
33:52
All she wants to do is escape. Yeah, she's like a little rat
33:55
looking for a hole to get out to go back to a go back to a scummy
33:59
hole, Yeah, to a scummy shit life.
34:02
Her painting skills obviously have improved because she's
34:05
doing it consistently for 8 hours a day, having a little nap
34:09
in between. She's just flipping the pages of
34:11
a book and not reading. It just in case someone walks
34:14
in. She's like, I'm not illiterate.
34:18
Wouldn't you like, OK, you've learned the concepts of this
34:21
world. Yeah.
34:22
Wouldn't you be a bit suss on the masquerade masks?
34:25
Like they're kind of low key glued to their face?
34:27
Yeah, I'd be like, wouldn't you ask more questions?
34:31
She never asked any questions. I know I would never shut up.
34:34
It would be very annoying. I'd get taken back 100%.
34:37
When I thought of the masks, I thought it was full face.
34:41
He could so easily be Ugg because you know how she was
34:44
like. 10 out of 10 bodies. He could be Ugg as fuck and
34:49
nothing. Turns people.
34:50
More than an Ugg big ass, big ass fucking forehead.
34:53
And she wouldn't know. I mean, nothing turns me off
34:56
more than an ugly fucking face. But you could have the body of
35:00
an Adonis. Yeah, and an ugly face is like
35:03
it's a no from me. Whereas some people don't care
35:06
so much about the face, they're about the.
35:07
Body. I don't know.
35:08
Body, audio, body. Oddy body Oddy oddy like what do
35:10
you think if if he took off that mask and it was full Quasimodo
35:13
like? Well.
35:15
He had nice eyes at least, so I don't know.
35:22
She, I think she. Only kind of questions it when
35:24
they she tries to take it off, but I think that's further in
35:28
the book. Oh, maybe she's there.
35:30
Of course she wants to leave. And then a fucking puka.
35:35
I remember. When I first saw puka, I was
35:37
like puka. It's just.
35:41
Funniest word? It's just not scary.
35:42
No. You know, like a skinwalker.
35:44
Yeah, that's fucking terrifying. Yeah.
35:47
A pooka. A pooka or like the bogey.
35:49
Is it bogey? Oh, the boogie boogie.
35:54
The one when they're riding on the horse.
35:55
It's the first monster they meet.
35:57
Any Lucian's like? Don't move.
35:59
The Boogie Boogie's gonna get you the Boogie wings.
36:01
Gonna get you. And it's just like air floating
36:05
around them. OK, let's be for fucking real,
36:11
OK? You're in a fairy world, Yes,
36:13
you see. Your dad.
36:15
On the outskirts of that fairy world.
36:17
This man, you're human, Dad. You can't even fucking walk.
36:21
What do you, what would you do? This man can't walk.
36:25
He gets sore when he's not next to the fire because he's cold
36:29
and you're going to run after this man who's running out of
36:31
there. Not only that, we find out later
36:36
that there's actually a whole heap of fairies that work in the
36:38
house. So she had a whole audience of
36:40
people watching her trying to sneak out of this house.
36:42
Embarrassing. I would die.
36:46
That's why she's. Pretending to no one wanted to
36:48
help her No, they were just like we'll just wait for Tamelen come
36:51
back Yeah because they knew it's not real.
36:53
They probably just like she's falling for the like oldest.
36:57
Freak in the book. And then Alice is like I told
37:00
you, to keep your wits about you.
37:02
Explain in detail, bitch. But also Alice.
37:05
Was she's a sassy bitch. Oh, she's so funny.
37:07
I would be so pissed if I was Alice because a fucking human
37:10
Gronk was sent to be living here and now I've got to look after
37:14
her dumb dirty ass. Well, it's probably better than
37:17
whatever else she was doing. But like you.
37:19
I practically have to be a slave to a little.
37:22
Gronk. She's probably being a slave.
37:26
She's probably being a slave to Tamela.
37:28
She's finally gotten out of watching his Dick for him every
37:31
day, wiping his ass. If people are Australian,
37:34
they're going to be like, what the fuck are they saying?
37:38
They finally try to start. He's like, you know what, we're
37:42
running out of time. It's only taken me 49 years to
37:46
get this girl, so it's like I'm just going to take it down to a
37:50
Starlight pool and hope that she gets naked with me because
37:54
that's what every girl wants for a first date.
37:56
They just want to get stripped down.
37:58
Not only that, she's been starved for five years.
38:02
I don't know how long the timing in the scene goes.
38:05
I'm like, she could have been there for a week at this point.
38:07
She thought he hated. Her though, like ease yourself
38:10
into it my bro. She didn't even think it was a.
38:12
Date. He was just like we're.
38:14
Going on a companionship walk, it's like.
38:16
OK, if that was me, I'd be like, and I and I'm not walking, just
38:20
wearing my boots and like a fisherman's hat, chicken Nuggets
38:24
in in the pocket. I've just got like an insect
38:28
net. OK, I'm ready to go.
38:32
You're just spraying sprained. You can't go outside in
38:36
Australia without like he's from monies, right?
38:39
Me not knowing it's the first date.
38:44
Fishing shirt. I don't even own a fishing
38:49
shirt. Granny undies.
38:50
Shorts. Granny undies but you
38:52
accidentally put them on inside out and it doesn't matter
38:56
because I don't. Think I'm going to be taking
38:57
them up anyway. What's another really Australian
39:01
thing? Just like.
39:03
No shoes. But.
39:05
They're ugly, but the cork's dangling now and I just smell
39:13
like right. Can you imagine?
39:15
He's like looking at her and she's like Allah kind of it's.
39:18
Like. I'm ready for a walk to the
39:19
storm. He's like, it's not that kind of
39:23
walk. I thought you'd be wearing like
39:24
a sun dress or something. I'd be like.
39:29
Miss Alice. 'S fucking advice when you need
39:32
it. He just.
39:34
A dresser she's but to be fair, like he picked.
39:38
Me. Exactly, should have observed my
39:44
house a little bit longer before committing.
39:46
He could have pulled out for a couple of years to get someone
39:49
else. He's like, actually.
39:52
My phone will be. I don't like going outside.
39:56
You're like. Can we do a virtual tour?
40:02
There's two out there. My freckles will be freckling.
40:05
You'll just melt. No, I'm out there.
40:08
I'm definitely out. There, but I'm like.
40:10
Prepared, but not for the right thing.
40:12
I just look out the window and be like bye.
40:16
But at least you're. Sitting there wearing a juice
40:18
ring, I'm. Like out here.
40:22
At least you're dressed appropriately for the first date
40:25
to drink pajamas. Only at home.
40:30
I'd be in a full movie at that point.
40:36
I've never owned one, but I would.
40:37
Then he's like trying to invite you.
40:39
For a date you. Got a heck I'm porn.
40:40
Already you're like. You got a face mask?
40:44
You got, like, my full routine on it.
40:47
Yeah, your your routine's already done.
40:49
Your face is glazed like a doughnut.
40:50
You're just. Like I'm not calling.
40:51
Any my babe eye mask, it's just waiting.
40:54
I'm like, OK, I'm gonna go read an audio book because I cannot
40:58
read. Oh my God, that's so good.
41:01
You know what? There's a bit where she is
41:03
trying to learn shit. She's trying to get information
41:06
at this point. Why don't you be delulu?
41:09
Who cares? Well, they keep bringing up this
41:11
blight. Oh, who can't?
41:14
And but they'll like. They can't.
41:16
OK, what I don't understand is they're not allowed to tell us.
41:20
So they can't tell it, but they'll accidentally slip up and
41:22
be like her and she'll be like, who's her?
41:24
And they'll be like. She doesn't matter.
41:27
That's clearly time to go. This crazy bitch is out to kill
41:32
us all and. Instead, they just.
41:34
I would totally understand that. But I feel like she read between
41:36
the lines and she'd bare with us some crazy bitch.
41:40
She's like, it sounds like it's. Important.
41:43
I would just be to Lulu because what do I have to know?
41:45
I'm a. Human being I'm.
41:46
Probably going to get some. Very Dick.
41:49
Kidnap me? You're telling me I get
41:52
kidnapped for this rich man? Exactly.
41:54
Home Rich. I'm.
41:56
Going to keep the mask on. It's fine.
41:57
We don't need to know. Keep the mask on forever.
42:01
OK, here's the concept. Lucien is just Tamlin's
42:05
redheaded sidekick. Big bosom friend.
42:08
I know he. Doesn't have a big bosom, but
42:09
he's probably got like a big chesticle.
42:11
Oh yeah, yeah. You know how in romance books
42:13
there's always the red headed best friend of the main female
42:16
character? Yes, that's him.
42:18
It's him. And essentially he tells her all
42:20
about the serial. Kind of low key, which duh, he's
42:24
like he can't like explain it anymore obviously than that.
42:27
No, but he got he goes. If I were to do it, I would get
42:30
a dead chicken and set up a trap.
42:32
And then he just lets her go on her way.
42:34
She can't. Go in the woods by herself, she
42:37
almost gets killed by the fucking boogie monster the
42:40
Pooka, and they're just going to let her go for a stroll?
42:43
Go with her you psycho. Does anything important happen
42:47
at that first date? No, I don't give a fuck about
42:49
it. They're just swimming in the
42:51
water, right? Yeah.
42:52
Looking hot? In Starlight, pull the
42:54
Starlight. And then she was kind of like,
42:57
does he? Like me question mark.
42:59
Oh. Well, they.
43:00
Kept he was very much. Giving asexual to me 100% and
43:03
also when they describe the water they were like silky but
43:06
greasy but not greasy and I'm like so oil.
43:10
Could you imagine who's gone for this casual swim and vegetable
43:13
oil? No way.
43:15
Canola. Canola and then he just.
43:21
Turns it on whenever he wants to and do.
43:24
You know what I mean? Yeah, he's not even trying but
43:27
it. It works on her.
43:29
She's like, oh, that girl has. Never had a single bit of
43:33
attention in her life though. This is why in the end of the
43:36
book, she's not getting it. Can we just?
43:40
Can we just establish that the serial didn't even fucking help?
43:44
No. It was bullshit.
43:45
And you know what? I want a refund.
43:47
Oh, a refund, Absolutely. But when you eventually read all
43:51
the other books, so Carla's the only one in this universe,
43:54
that's pretty much happened. He says the most vague shit.
43:58
And if he wasn't vague, it would all be sorted.
44:01
There wouldn't be a problem. It would bookend.
44:05
You can't just say stay with the High Lord and not say which one
44:09
exactly. Disgusting.
44:11
And then so she just assumes, obviously, that it's about
44:13
Tamlin, Yes. Which isn't even what she she
44:15
doesn't even follow the advice anyway.
44:18
So what? Does.
44:19
It mean yeah. But like the serial, what was
44:22
the point of that quest? To go out of your way?
44:27
No, he told her nothing and was just like, stay with the High
44:29
Lord. We can't.
44:31
The serial literally said I need to stop.
44:36
He said no spoils. No, no.
44:38
He said, I am not of the Spring Court.
44:42
I'm older than this Earth. Right.
44:43
But then couldn't just be like, hey, this bitch under the
44:46
fucking mountain is kidnapping more.
44:49
You got to love him. And then it goes away.
44:52
Everyone's saved. Yeah, and then all these weird
44:55
creatures that are trying to eat me will stop coming here to eat
44:58
me. But wouldn't they be scared if
45:00
they told her to just fall in love with him?
45:02
Then then she wouldn't. No.
45:04
But also if you know everything you can be like the blight is
45:08
some crazy bitch under a mountain.
45:10
Yep. He could have told her so much
45:12
more. Yeah, she does learn about the
45:16
King Hyburn. Yes, and Hyburn and that
45:20
everyone's super antsy about whoever wants to enslave the
45:24
humans. Yes, and that there's seven
45:26
courts and they have high Fey, blah blah blah.
45:29
And there's a treaty. And blah blah blah.
45:32
All things she could have learnt by just asking a friend.
45:35
She could have found a friend actually.
45:37
She would mean like Lucian. Hey, how many high wards are
45:41
there? How many?
45:42
Which one is the one that someone warned me would turn me
45:45
to dust? Should I be scared of that man?
45:48
You know what though? Like I agree because why would
45:51
you as? The person.
45:54
Care about the blight? Coming to the human world, the
45:57
human world is. US.
45:58
Compared to the fairy. World.
45:59
It's worse that it's. Destroying the fairy world I.
46:02
Feel like. It's more because they would be
46:03
enslaved. So if it did go to the mortal
46:07
world she would be a slave. She already is.
46:10
But that's what I mean. Like it's just kind of like.
46:12
But not a slave in a house like a holiday.
46:15
A slave as in like a real slave? Everyone.
46:19
But her? Family useless anyway if you
46:21
even put them out doing manual labour.
46:23
They fucking can't because ones going to be whinging about not
46:26
having Gucci boots and the man can't even walk.
46:29
Exactly, and then the other sister so they would just
46:31
probably get whipped to death. So again, it just goes back to
46:34
her family dying. Yes, and that's all she ever
46:36
cares about. The plague is going to take them
46:38
out eventually anyway. I don't.
46:39
Like that? She doesn't have a mission for
46:41
herself because it wasn't like I want to save the human world.
46:44
It was just I only care about my family.
46:47
To be fair, she's very 19 year old girl.
46:50
When you think about the fact that she's 19, yeah, I get she's
46:55
got no thoughts. No, I mean that nicely.
46:58
She's got no thoughts beyond because she's only ever had to
47:02
do the one thing every day. True.
47:04
And she's like. Cares so much about this promise
47:06
she made to her mom. Her.
47:08
Mom's a piece of shit though. You'll never let us forget it,
47:12
No. They've got the.
47:14
Kalanmei, yes, coming up. And it's this big ritual that
47:19
all the fae get into. It's like this big breeding.
47:22
It's literally everyone fucking for mother big orgy.
47:27
What? OK, why?
47:31
My. Thoughts are pricing.
47:32
My thoughts are pricing. Why just spring?
47:35
Is everyone fucking Yep for the earth?
47:38
But then they do summer solstice and they're all just having a
47:41
little party because they're all gonna wait to see if they got
47:44
pregnant, maybe in that springtime.
47:46
Oh, I assume. Maybe spring is for the
47:48
breathing? And then?
47:50
Hopefully you're pregnant by summer by then, like you, you
47:53
know, if you're pregnant by then, Yeah.
47:55
OK. Question who would have to be
47:57
mother for you to participate in an orgy for?
48:00
So my magic goes to that mother. No, no, no.
48:04
Like who in the pop culture world would have to be mother
48:07
for it to be worth it for you to have an orgy for me to be
48:11
fucking yes for you to say yes. I'll.
48:13
Do it for mother. Renee Rapp, OK.
48:21
I love that. Who would be your mother?
48:24
Maybe like. Lana Del Rey, because I feel
48:27
like her orgy would be just full of weed.
48:29
No, everyone would be on, like, acid shrooms, you know what I
48:34
mean? Like kind of Ola, Because he's
48:36
not. He's not.
48:38
She would be the vibe. Yeah.
48:40
And it would be all that weird, nostalgic old school music.
48:44
I'd be into it. Very different vibes but
48:46
probably the same vibe. So.
48:49
She's learning about all this and she's like, Oh no, I just
48:52
had a date with old man Tam Tam. She.
48:55
Doesn't even know what's it about.
48:57
No, no one will tell her. But she's starting to get the
49:00
vibe. Yeah, she gets the vibe.
49:03
I think when Lucian tells her when she's he's whisking her
49:07
away. Yeah, yeah, she gets a bit a bit
49:09
late on the vibe, but but her female intuition is peaking up a
49:14
bit. She's like, hold on.
49:15
But yeah, but she. Was more like, why am I not
49:18
invited? Yeah, you're making me stay
49:20
here. Why am I not allowed?
49:22
She's getting Jelly doughnuts because she's like, he's going
49:24
to be sniffing up some other girl's scent.
49:27
Yes. When she doesn't.
49:29
Even know if he really likes it. Yeah, well, he was like, don't
49:32
leave the house, Lucia. Everyone was like don't leave
49:36
the house. If they just said to her he
49:38
would be in a frenzy and he would be fucking some random
49:41
girl for spring then maybe she would have stayed inside.
49:45
No, I feel. Like that's why she snuck out
49:48
because she's like, not on my watch.
49:49
Well. Technically OK.
49:51
Every time I read this bit I get secondhand embarrassment and I
49:53
cannot cope with it. I cannot cope with the fact that
49:56
she's running off to a party where she was uninvited.
49:59
That's embarrassing. Sex party.
50:01
Well. Again, she is 19.
50:03
Yes, OK. She's like I've got.
50:04
To be there, I've got to be there.
50:06
There's a bit where it goes. The string pulls me the string
50:08
pulls me and this wild voice is telling me to go, go, go.
50:12
It's not Tamlin tugging at her. It's the other one.
50:16
Like everyone was confused and was like, she's never.
50:19
I wonder when Sarah thought about this, she thought about
50:22
this from page 183. OK, we love our.
50:27
Planning Queen we. Love our hot other When you kind
50:31
of like, obviously you pick that up later and no one.
50:33
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't pick it up until the
50:36
end. I think further down the track,
50:38
like when things start making sense.
50:40
So she gets there, she's in a place where everyone's allowed
50:44
free for all, doesn't realize she gets attacked by three men,
50:49
and then she just gets saved. But her stupid excuse?
50:53
Was I'm hungry, bitch. Yes.
50:57
Just admit that you're not out here to go get a Kit Kat that
51:01
you wanted to see. Who Tamlyn?
51:02
Was fucking. Well, she didn't know it yet.
51:05
Oh, she didn't know you by that. No, it wasn't until she had a
51:08
vibe like she had a sense because didn't she at one point
51:11
was like, no, she was more like jealous in a way that she was
51:15
not invited. She didn't understand.
51:16
She kind of knew. That he was up to something.
51:19
No, she just wanted to go after this.
51:22
This is where she meets Re Sand and he's the hottest man she's
51:26
ever seen. Ever.
51:28
She never talks about Tamil in that way either.
51:30
And he doesn't. Have a mask because he's from
51:33
the other court, Night court. Yes, yeah, that's right.
51:35
OK, so I'd be like he's giving full face face card is not
51:39
declining and he is not no under there.
51:41
He's hot. That is dark mysterious.
51:44
I'd be like sold his eyes *1 so blue, they're purple.
51:48
So blue they're purple. Starlight Starlight Star bride.
51:51
Star bride. Get in my bed tonight.
51:53
Yes. Literally, I better not have
51:56
these filthy, filthy thoughts about this man, this dangerous
51:59
man. Thoughts.
52:02
This is where Lucian immediately afterwards where Lucian gets
52:06
her. Whenever I say.
52:08
Reeson's name? I think it's Rye Singer.
52:11
Yeah, it's a thing. I.
52:15
Just want to point out so you know how sounds better.
52:18
Do you know how we all hate J names?
52:21
I've never liked a Reese. Never in my life have I liked a
52:25
Reese. Me either.
52:26
This man is a Reese. I know that's.
52:29
Why I like rice hand sounds so much better.
52:31
It's it's just nicer and it sounds more old school.
52:34
Yes. But anyway, he.
52:35
Snatches her up and. Saves her.
52:37
Amazing. And she realizes this is just an
52:40
orgy. This is just your everyday.
52:43
Yeah, these guys like neighbourhood orgy.
52:45
Well, the guys were like, we're not even going to wait for the
52:47
riot, We're just going to do you on the tree.
52:50
Yep. Against your will as you do as
52:53
you do apparently. Apparently Lucian then after he
52:57
finally spots this human goal in the crowd is like, you need to
53:00
get the fuck out of here. He's going to hunt you down.
53:04
He's going to smell you in the crowd.
53:06
She's like like the little doggie is she's excited.
53:09
You can't tell me otherwise. She's out here trying to see if
53:12
he'll pick her over the other bitch.
53:14
She's at home and she's like, maybe I should go just back out.
53:19
Maybe I want it. This is the first time she's
53:22
hungry. Come on now.
53:25
As if she has to go to some fucking cave where they're
53:27
fucking when there's a fridge 5 meters.
53:30
That way you can't DoorDash you. Can't.
53:36
Alice or have some cereal. Alice is at the Pate.
53:39
She she's getting fucked. She's on her day off, she's
53:45
single one. She's getting pounded in the
53:47
corner. She's getting fertilized.
53:54
She's. Her day off she's been scrubbing
53:57
this bitch clean. She just wants if men knew what
54:01
were in these. Books.
54:04
Fairy orgies and shit. Sometimes I read funny sex bits
54:08
to my partner and he'll be like why why are you reading this?
54:13
And it will be the feral nicknames.
54:15
Not even good ones. Like when they're like you
54:16
little juicy rabbit and he's like you little.
54:19
Feral Minx. He's like.
54:22
Oh. You little alien tailed bitch.
54:28
Meanwhile, does anyone even want to peep the average men's porn
54:32
searches? No.
54:33
But is the. Crazy 1 I don't wanna know a
54:36
single I don't. Wanna know play?
54:42
It on his own at least I'm like it's a fantasy book whereas.
54:47
He has so many. Least there's so many options.
54:50
At least there's a dark head man named Recent Starlight Eyes.
54:57
You know, big. Glass big.
54:58
Thighs. You know.
55:00
Class and Tignature just like Bridgeton.
55:04
He would be a Bridgeton. Man I feel like go I watched a
55:09
horror movie The other day. Sideline.
55:12
I watched. A horror movie.
55:14
Because. People wouldn't be me.
55:15
People highlighted this particular bit.
55:20
No. I'm TikTok and they're like, you
55:22
go watch this movie. It's called Deliverance.
55:24
It has Glenn Close in it. It is unhinged that Netflix paid
55:29
Glenn Close money to say this line in this movie.
55:33
What's the line? The mom in the movie was already
55:36
dead at this point. So this spirit took the mom's
55:39
form. The mom had cancer so she has no
55:41
hair. So she's like 5 hairs like I'm
55:44
looking Cynthia Dole from Rogress and then she's like this
55:47
with her little like demon face on and she goes I can smell that
55:51
napping pussy from here. No, no, but it's in a demon
55:56
voice and someone's like, did Clinton close lose a bet to star
56:01
in this movie? I once seen like a clip.
56:04
This is your TikTok must be what?
56:06
And once and it was like a nun and there was like a sex demon
56:11
like ruining their marriage and she was the only one could see
56:14
it. She's like, you're literally
56:17
doing this because of this. And he's like, you bitch in the
56:19
corner. And I'm like, I am not going to
56:21
watch that. Was it serious or funny?
56:24
Both. Oh, like she was serious.
56:29
And then it was like, yeah, So guys shouldn't worry about
56:39
what's in our fantasy books because what's on our TikTok for
56:41
you page is like a whole another story.
56:43
I I watched a gorilla in lingerie.
56:46
Not a real 1. The reference.
56:50
It's not a real 11. Someone dressed in a gorilla
56:52
suit with lingerie twerking the other day.
56:55
I'm going to help. You didn't choose to watch that
56:58
though. Yeah, but I built it brick by
57:00
brick so it's all me. I don't blame myself for
57:03
anything that appears. Sometimes I get a random like
57:07
red pill shit and I'm like. This.
57:09
Went the wrong way. Top skirt.
57:14
But every time I see then it's a stitch and it's like a woman
57:16
explaining and I'm like, oh. Thank the world.
57:20
This is the safe place. Again, sometimes I get the.
57:23
There's some weird misogynistic like the ones that they're like
57:26
women are always at get men and it's a woman like Pearl my other
57:30
ones and I'll get them. And I was like, Oh, it's just a
57:32
joke. And then I'm like, watch the
57:34
whole thing. I'm like, how did it get here?
57:35
But it like tests the water to see if you don't go that
57:38
direction. Every every time I click not
57:40
interested. Just in case I don't, I just
57:43
scroll through. I go you're like, did not
57:45
interact with that one. Going back to this book, any
57:50
who's all we how many take a shot every time?
57:53
He says. She took my wings.
57:56
We get it bro, your wings let's just.
57:59
Lock it off. Yeah, this.
58:01
See, I don't even know where that is.
58:02
I don't know but. It.
58:04
Really made me pay attention because it kept repeating he was
58:08
sad. Well, he was dying.
58:11
It was that random fairy. Yeah, and it's on the table.
58:13
But the whole point of that scene was for her to be
58:16
empathetic towards the fairy all of a sudden, to be like she's
58:19
developing. She cares about the fairies now
58:21
that she understands her heart. OK, he's out.
58:26
He's saving the. Fairies.
58:28
Her name? Practically is Faye like it's
58:30
fine, it's fine she's had her come to Jesus moment and she's
58:34
now she's woke a blessed child she's.
58:38
Awokened. To the racial prejudice that she
58:43
is a full supporter, she. Swung.
58:46
The other way because old mate's like and then she was grappling
58:50
with her own guilt. She was like, I killed one of
58:52
these it's not your fault girl. It was totally all the way.
58:59
She like pins this guy, pins the guy to the table too and.
59:02
She's like. It's OK, I'll get them.
59:05
You'll get them back. She like.
59:06
Pins my gun. This is OK, it's.
59:13
OK Oh my God he's like the little 2 fucking jumps scare me
59:16
while I'm dying I swear to God I will pay you fucking back in
59:22
like in my afterlife obviously you know when.
59:24
I. That.
59:25
Movie. Where the kids like please.
59:28
Yeah, can I have? Some walls.
59:29
Oliver Twist. Yes, that man is like this with
59:32
his wings. He's like, please.
59:35
My. Wings.
59:36
Yeah. He's like, please, Sir, may I
59:37
have some more wings? It's like they're fucking, she's
59:42
famous, toast, they gone. And then she's just like,
59:47
easing. Him into a nice.
59:48
Slumber. Yeah, I don't want that.
59:50
I want entertainment. These are my last seconds on
59:53
Earth. If you're not twerking, it's not
59:55
working. You're like your ass or back
59:59
throwing your ass in a stickle. I want to.
1:00:01
Be happy when I die, motherfucker.
1:00:04
So. Favor better get bend in them
1:00:06
knees throwing it back for me. See, her knees are Creek and
1:00:10
then I'm Megan knees and then turns out I'm not dying her Tina
1:00:19
twerking in the corner and Tammy's like, that's my girl.
1:00:23
Tammy's like. That's the white love of my
1:00:26
life. Make it entertaining.
1:00:27
Like I I want to go out with a. Bang, I don't want.
1:00:29
To sit here and you tell me. I'm going to get them back like.
1:00:32
Come on, if you were crying, you wouldn't be like, where's my
1:00:35
wings? You'd just be like.
1:00:37
Threw it back. Let.
1:00:39
Me see that pussy? Clap.
1:00:43
Really. The pussy.
1:00:47
Challenge she's just queefing Oh my God I want to hear clapping
1:00:54
but it's your ass he's. Like.
1:00:57
OK, that's a bit too much. She's like a starved girl.
1:01:02
There's no aspect there. There's no juice in the boot.
1:01:05
It's just like the cheeks don't even.
1:01:07
Touch. So she's got RBS, there's no
1:01:15
muscle back there. The liquid just goes straight
1:01:19
out the hole she's striking in the corner of the ship.
1:01:25
Oh, I'm. Struggling to.
1:01:26
Breathe the fact that you just had a mouthful.
1:01:35
Of water I didn't realize. Oh my God.
1:01:38
Like I'm. Going to fucking shit myself in
1:01:41
a second. I'm drooling.
1:01:42
I'm going to shit my jeans in a second because I'm laughing.
1:01:44
So much. You would be a Sergei Mask
1:01:47
character. Good.
1:01:50
I want to be an illiterate teenager.
1:01:52
I just want to live. Girls just want to have fun.
1:01:56
Oh gosh, I don't. Want to be 19 again?
1:02:03
Fuck that shit. It's a very weird.
1:02:07
Time. When so finite, so I just Paris
1:02:14
Hilton that you know that she's like so I believe.
1:02:18
So. I believe in change till this
1:02:21
well he. So.
1:02:23
We we skip past that, but he we're going back.
1:02:26
It wouldn't be our podcast if we weren't going forward and going
1:02:31
back. Jesus, that's how I drive my
1:02:34
car. It's how you shouldn't start
1:02:36
you. Should know.
1:02:37
What? From back to front, it's just
1:02:40
like a podcast. So fire night he comes home,
1:02:47
he's all sweated up, greased up from the rough sex he's been
1:02:52
having. He was like.
1:02:54
Deranged. So I don't know why she was
1:02:56
deranged. Deranged.
1:02:58
Deranged. She sounds like confused about
1:03:00
it. Deranged.
1:03:00
I was like, it wasn't hot. He was like.
1:03:02
If I I was. Sniffing you out.
1:03:04
And then I had to take another girl, but he's like, I would
1:03:08
have made. Yeah, right.
1:03:09
We've all heard that. One we've heard.
1:03:10
This. Before.
1:03:12
He's like, I would have made you moan my name all night and I
1:03:15
would have been gentle. We would have been fucking in
1:03:17
front of a crowd of a million people while I and then he's
1:03:22
like, I was just rough with this other girl.
1:03:24
And then he bites her neck. He chomps down, grinds on her,
1:03:28
And then it's like, I'm just going to go to bed now.
1:03:30
But the fame males, they can smell everything.
1:03:36
So her coochie is dripping and he's like, better go.
1:03:42
And then he's out of there. Because her swamp ass.
1:03:46
At that point. Does he just have nothing left
1:03:48
in the? Tank, there's nothing.
1:03:49
There wouldn't. They have some kind of fairy.
1:03:51
Viagra Well, he'd sell the deal people.
1:03:54
She's supposed to love you. I thought we were fucking all
1:03:56
night to get the earth moving spring rolling, but he only
1:04:00
bites it because he she's like I don't want no leftovers, but
1:04:03
then proceeds to grind on his Dick.
1:04:05
Exactly. So which one is it, ma'am?
1:04:08
Get it? Going do you want The Who is the
1:04:11
leftovers? Is it?
1:04:12
Him or you? Is it him or her?
1:04:15
Like which who who who who? And he doesn't doesn't even say
1:04:21
who the girl is. I mean she's just some random
1:04:24
girl. Is she a breeder?
1:04:26
Is she not? Is she going to get have his?
1:04:29
Is she the baby Mama now? How many babies has he gotten?
1:04:33
She never asked him. Anything.
1:04:34
That he's 5. 100 years old. He's been doing it every year
1:04:38
for 500. So he's not a million babies out
1:04:41
there. Yeah, if that was my well, he's
1:04:44
not even my what? A.
1:04:45
Situation ship at that point he's like would if you he's not
1:04:49
even. Paying shark support.
1:04:52
You know. That's doing very well.
1:04:53
That's great. No, but OK, so.
1:04:55
He's. Sounding like the biggest
1:04:56
douchey debut dad ever. Oh, it's great you don't have.
1:05:00
To. Wouldn't you?
1:05:02
If you're talking stage, If you're Tinder match, let's say
1:05:05
yes, you've had an initial Tinder date.
1:05:08
He. Comes home greased up.
1:05:11
But the thing that gets worse? Is when they do finally have sex
1:05:14
they have like one round and they're nothing.
1:05:17
So someone lied about the all night long.
1:05:20
Like how many hours was he fucking this girl?
1:05:23
Maybe in his? Mind, he thought it was all
1:05:25
night long and it was just like a 20 minute riot.
1:05:27
Yeah, that's the long too long for him.
1:05:31
They have some solstice not long after.
1:05:33
Feels like literally the next chapter.
1:05:36
Yep. She's drunk, but she's like, you
1:05:39
can't tell me she wasn't like, what is a bring it on crumping
1:05:44
like Hayden Panettiere crumping in the crowd and he's just like
1:05:47
sweating it up like that's my girl throwing an ass back.
1:05:51
But The thing is, she. She was like, he's sweating up a
1:05:53
storm. I know.
1:05:54
I'm not supposed. To drink the fairy wine.
1:05:57
But Chuck in the. Back.
1:05:59
Tamlin says it's OK. But Lucian told me not to do it.
1:06:05
But honestly, I'd want to get loose at that point too, because
1:06:07
fuck everyone, fuck everyone, fuck everyone.
1:06:10
I'd be like, I want to see what this is all about.
1:06:12
I've been locked in my room. I can't read.
1:06:15
No fucking doing fuck all. Yeah, Everyone else is fucking
1:06:19
mad banging. Is this just her experience of
1:06:22
the you know how you experience at least once in a lifetime that
1:06:26
random man playing the guitar for you?
1:06:28
Have you part of it, like which part of her experience while
1:06:32
Tamlin's the one playing the fiddle.
1:06:35
Well, she's crumping. She's doing that.
1:06:38
But was wasn't this like in front of other people?
1:06:40
Yes, yes. That's why I believe she was
1:06:42
Hayden Penetilla crumping on random people.
1:06:44
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah.
1:06:46
I see it. Early 20s.
1:06:47
They always play out the guitar and you're just standing there
1:06:50
like, I don't want to be. That's why she have to be drunk.
1:06:53
Yeah. Like that's that makes me the E
1:06:55
Yeah, of course. But then they that's when they.
1:06:58
Have their first kiss but like you, you can.
1:07:03
It says a lot about her trauma. When she was like him kissing
1:07:06
her out was the happiest day of their life.
1:07:07
I know I was like what? So.
1:07:09
Everything. I don't know, she's so pick me.
1:07:13
She doesn't get the IK enough because even you know when they
1:07:16
in the Starlight pool he goes. This was my favorite haunt as a
1:07:20
boy. If someone said that to me I
1:07:22
would be gone. She.
1:07:24
Doesn't. Get the IK ever though.
1:07:28
I don't know, there's a lot of things to get the ick about at
1:07:30
this. Point I was very.
1:07:31
Much Seeing the Beauty and the Beast comparisons I was
1:07:34
retelling, Yeah. I was like, oh, well, I
1:07:36
definitely see it now. Yeah, yeah.
1:07:38
Which is fine. Like it's loose.
1:07:40
And to be fair, this. Book came out in 2015.
1:07:42
Yes. So I feel like a lot of the
1:07:44
books we've read since, like, before we read this one for this
1:07:47
podcast, Yeah. It's like knockoffs derivatives
1:07:51
of this always watered down. I feel like.
1:07:55
The the story of Beauty and the Beast since becoming an adult
1:07:59
has rubbed me up the wrong way. It's a trigger.
1:08:01
It's just a complete this is grooming young.
1:08:04
People to believe. That men treat you horribly, but
1:08:07
they like you and why not? You should just be.
1:08:09
Submissive. It's.
1:08:10
Small and dainty and. 2024 we're not doing that anymore, but
1:08:15
people are. And you should just tell a man's
1:08:18
life. You should just revolve.
1:08:19
Around a man's life. All Disney movies are grooming
1:08:22
for that kind of shit anyway. Yeah, true.
1:08:25
Anyway, at this party, Recent risen, yeah.
1:08:30
Yeah. Which is the name I.
1:08:34
Prefer he. Pops up again, he's all like who
1:08:38
are you girl? That's at finite.
1:08:40
Yes, I'm dubbing. You know what I mean?
1:08:42
And I'll be like. So.
1:08:45
You. You.
1:08:46
Beautiful man. I'll be like, I'll tell you no.
1:08:48
But she went. She was like, she probably had
1:08:50
the watery diarrhea and then she was like, my name is old mate
1:08:53
Claire from Primary. That's when she.
1:08:56
He like popped up in their house like later.
1:08:59
She's like, totally. Claire is my name.
1:09:02
They're the stupidest people ever because they were like 3
1:09:04
cups three plates, a full meal. She just left, she's upstairs.
1:09:10
Also, why would Lucian be pinned to the wall at any point in time
1:09:15
if he was just eating breakfast? Don't I?
1:09:18
But even then, like reason is in her head, he's having a little
1:09:23
look, see? So that means not only well, he
1:09:26
brings it up, not only does he know about her sexual attraction
1:09:31
to Tamlin, he knows about that to him all the thoughts she was
1:09:35
thinking about him when he. So it's very much giving vampire
1:09:38
again. Yeah, which embarrassing.
1:09:41
If someone knew my thoughts I'd be so embarrassed with how.
1:09:44
Basic they are. No mine.
1:09:46
Are not. Even good mine are so weird and
1:09:48
intrusive sometimes and I'm like I sometimes I'm like I jump
1:09:54
scare myself. So point out he's well resents
1:09:58
in the house. So he's an Amaranth is for
1:10:01
right. We love a we love.
1:10:03
We love a reform tour. It's a.
1:10:06
Favorite me? Now.
1:10:07
Character he never I don't understand where they get the
1:10:11
idea that he enjoys it when he constantly pretty much says he
1:10:15
does not enjoy it. It's just because he's sexy.
1:10:17
They go, oh, you can't be sexually assaulted if you're
1:10:21
sexy man because they don't like him.
1:10:23
So they're just. Slandering him?
1:10:25
Yeah, to make him look bad. Let's be real.
1:10:27
He's missed a steal. Your girl.
1:10:29
Yeah, they're not going to. Sit there and say oh.
1:10:31
No. Poor reason.
1:10:33
Like he's hard done by. He's been traumatized non-stop
1:10:39
for 50 years. It's all his fault.
1:10:43
Yep. Everyone says it and I'm like he
1:10:45
never speaks to that bitch like he likes her.
1:10:48
He never talks about her like he likes her.
1:10:50
Nah fucking grow right? And then Tamlin gets all toe Y
1:10:55
because he knows recent will Dom like Dobby Dobby Dobby dob.
1:11:00
So then he's all. Like, oh fuck, you've actually
1:11:02
got to go back to the fucking. Mortal realm now.
1:11:05
I'm wondering if Amarantha has some.
1:11:09
I know that she has their powers and she can't use them, but in
1:11:13
the end of the book she knows a lot of shit without Reese
1:11:15
telling us. I'm like, who was she getting it
1:11:18
from and how is she getting it? Well, do you reckon she can kind
1:11:21
of read? She must be.
1:11:23
She must be able to, because there's like, even with her
1:11:26
being illiterate. He didn't know.
1:11:28
He was surprised. So Tamron's freaking out.
1:11:31
He's like, oh shit, we've got to send you back home.
1:11:34
Isn't it convenient that now the.
1:11:36
Treaty doesn't even fucking. Matter, Yeah.
1:11:39
If. You were a.
1:11:39
Favour, wouldn't you be like, that's us also like a typical
1:11:44
man he is. He's doing the last chance sex.
1:11:48
This is essentially all they do is last chance sex in this book
1:11:54
because like, I'm never going. To see you.
1:11:55
Again, we finally should do it and then we'll it's never
1:11:58
because they just want to. No, if they had jealousy while
1:12:03
she was like getting bitten on the wall, I'd be like
1:12:05
absolutely. But he's like, no, I already
1:12:09
used up all my steam on. I think bitch, The weirdest part
1:12:13
about them having sex is the way that she highlighted that she
1:12:16
was rubbing her feet all over his legs.
1:12:19
She was like, I was rubbing my feet all up and down these
1:12:21
curves. K cough fetish.
1:12:25
That's a bit unique kink coming through, but I feel like they're
1:12:32
sexy and gave nothing. I didn't care about it.
1:12:35
It was a bit. Weird.
1:12:36
Wasn't it dry? And then she was just like.
1:12:38
I've done this. Before I did it, there was like
1:12:41
there was a point where. She was kind of like.
1:12:45
Which at least we didn't get the virginity trope, I think,
1:12:47
because nothing would be worse than that.
1:12:49
Thank the Lord she's like yeah, me and fucking Oliver.
1:12:52
What's his name or whoever is OK?
1:12:56
Well, fucking. Me and Isaac go way back we
1:12:59
don't like she even gives him little.
1:13:01
Fuck. Me eyes when he's walking with
1:13:03
his, misses the audacity. And then she goes.
1:13:06
I wish them well. I wish.
1:13:09
Bitch and he. Like.
1:13:10
Tilted his head at me like he usually would.
1:13:12
He probably. Doesn't even recognise you
1:13:14
bitch. Also he was like he married a
1:13:17
plump woman. The amount of backhanded
1:13:21
compliments. Oh, that she would.
1:13:24
Give like that was her being sassy.
1:13:26
Yeah. I see you favorite.
1:13:28
I see what you're saying. I see you for the mean girl you
1:13:31
are. She drops a bomb later, but
1:13:33
we'll get to it when we get to it.
1:13:34
But yeah, she's like a plump girl.
1:13:36
A plump. Nothing.
1:13:38
Is like me then a bitch who tries to eye check your man in
1:13:42
public? Yes, just to be all like no one
1:13:45
got checking my man girl you think you know something?
1:13:51
Oh bitch poop. Even his wife was like.
1:13:54
Oh, it's the girl. From the barn.
1:13:57
Days. Well, farm beer.
1:13:59
But guess what? That wife or girlfriend probably
1:14:02
knows more than you think. And he's not going to sit.
1:14:05
There and say. She's probably sitting there
1:14:08
going, she's got a wet, dirty hole.
1:14:13
So I thought she's probably like she shits herself all the time.
1:14:18
I BSE. Bitch.
1:14:20
I'll just be over here with my. Plumpness.
1:14:23
Like it's always those chicks, you think they've got something
1:14:26
on you. And then the man looks over and
1:14:28
goes like, remember some days when I was fucking her shit?
1:14:35
And then they're both laughing behind your back, Favour.
1:14:39
You know what I mean? Like.
1:14:40
It's just she really thought she ate with that.
1:14:42
She was like plump and she was like my booty be clapping.
1:14:47
She's like, at least my cheeks. Touch the.
1:14:50
Cushion for the cushion girl. Oh, Isaac's like.
1:14:55
Oh, I remember these days I used to have to slum it in the
1:14:57
bottom. Like the pig that.
1:15:00
She is because imagine like if they knew what she was going on
1:15:05
in her life right now. It's like bitch, you don't even
1:15:09
get picked in an orgy. Just.
1:15:17
I'm just coming for fair hoppers.
1:15:20
But not only. That all the High Lords had to
1:15:22
participate. Participate.
1:15:24
Participate. Participate.
1:15:25
They did. So Reese was fucking too, Yeah.
1:15:30
Good stuff. Good stuff.
1:15:34
After the fuck all night he sent her, he said that's so matter of
1:15:40
fact. Yeah.
1:15:41
So she finally gets home. What was with the fucking horse
1:15:44
drawn carriage? Also like what?
1:15:46
Because she's rich now? But so he was like to wear the
1:15:49
night before and this is how we know he didn't give a fuck.
1:15:51
Really. It's like you got to get sleep
1:15:54
for your long trip home. But then as soon as she leaves
1:15:57
the estate, he knocks her out again for two days straight.
1:16:00
No. Trust, no.
1:16:01
Trust cannot trust these hoes. No.
1:16:04
But yeah, she got home. Nest is aware of everything
1:16:07
that's going on. It's wild to me that she hates
1:16:10
her sister so much, but she was carrying a little painting in
1:16:13
her pocket every day. You know, it was so funny when
1:16:16
Elaine says, oh, my God, Dad will be so happy you're back.
1:16:19
He might even throw a ball. I was like shut.
1:16:21
The fuck up, Elaine. Shut the fuck is on site with
1:16:25
you bitch. I was like.
1:16:26
Can. You just not spend the money.
1:16:28
We've had enough. You're going to run out soon.
1:16:31
He's gonna have nothing. Left and.
1:16:33
Then. Elaine.
1:16:34
Was like, it's a shame we don't live in our old dirty shack.
1:16:40
She's like, it's just cold and lonely.
1:16:43
Hello, hello. Your sister's not cold.
1:16:46
Dragging her fucking petrified foot out into the woods every
1:16:51
day to feed your greedy ass and you're sad.
1:16:55
And to buy your other sister Gucci shoes like.
1:16:57
What is she bitching? About.
1:17:00
It's like, oh, it's a shame. We're not in poverty anymore.
1:17:02
Those were the days. Weren't they when I used to
1:17:04
just? Sit next to the fire and shiver
1:17:06
and make sure you had the mental load of making sure I didn't
1:17:09
die. And then we just talked about
1:17:11
the boys from town. Oh and everyone was so
1:17:14
embarrassing. OK, go give your money to
1:17:17
someone that wants it. Exactly.
1:17:22
And then of course Nestor isn't as much of A dumb bitch and
1:17:25
she's like, we didn't even have an old.
1:17:27
Aunt. She's like Lion.
1:17:30
I will. She's like you.
1:17:32
Didn't. Go nowhere, ho.
1:17:35
You've been living in the fairy land.
1:17:36
Essentially, she knew more than fucking Favour did.
1:17:38
Well, she, she's been going to go get her, yeah.
1:17:42
Because she's been listening, listening, and she's so
1:17:47
stubborn. Magic.
1:17:49
Doesn't even work on this hoe. She has been, I reckon, OK, mind
1:17:53
of an ox. There's a theory that she's a
1:17:55
witch. So there's witches in the other
1:17:57
books, but there's not in this one.
1:17:59
So there's like a theory. She I reckon, I reckon she's
1:18:04
crazy. So get this.
1:18:07
They're sitting down, having a nice dinner, whatever.
1:18:09
Can't remember if they had a ball.
1:18:10
I blocked it out. Oh no, not yet.
1:18:12
They're. Talking about.
1:18:14
Hey, we should buy an investment property.
1:18:16
Because. Old mate Claire's family.
1:18:19
'S house just burned down. Let's buy that.
1:18:21
Fixer upper good income source? Yes.
1:18:24
Is this the Claire the name? That I gave I.
1:18:28
She burnt alive to a Chris two days before I came home.
1:18:32
I feel like her name. I forget what her surname was.
1:18:36
Better. Better.
1:18:37
I was going to say Bottleworth. Bottleworth.
1:18:40
What do I have? Bottleworth.
1:18:41
What a winky. Dinks.
1:18:43
She died. Just crispy.
1:18:46
So dead. Dead.
1:18:47
Poor girl didn't even get crisped.
1:18:50
That's right, because she sees it later.
1:18:52
But the house was crispy. Crispy.
1:18:54
A stick dead family servants annihilated.
1:19:00
They didn't even want to be there.
1:19:02
Pharaoh. Convenient.
1:19:04
So Pharaoh starts talking to Nestor all about the fairy
1:19:08
situation, as if Nesta doesn't know.
1:19:10
Nesta just picks it all up exactly how she's putting it
1:19:12
down. She's like Yep, Yep, Yep.
1:19:14
And Favour is trying to withhold some information and she's just
1:19:17
like Yep, Yep, fine, whatever. What's the plan?
1:19:20
Yeah. She doesn't.
1:19:21
Fart, she's ready to go. Nesta would go into a war for
1:19:25
her family, Yeah. She's got nothing.
1:19:27
She's. Got so much anger and
1:19:30
bitterness. She's ready to fuck anyone up.
1:19:32
She's done. She's done.
1:19:34
She's not trying to get married. She's like.
1:19:37
Fuck. That.
1:19:38
Fuck that. Favour.
1:19:40
Has to go find the mortal realm entrance.
1:19:44
Do you know what is fucking wild to me about her find?
1:19:48
Sorry, she like staring at me. Yes, she has to.
1:19:51
Go to the the realm, right? She takes two days to get there.
1:19:55
She can't find the entrance. She can't crawl around in the
1:20:00
fairy world. Without almost getting killed.
1:20:03
Yeah, seasoned hunters don't even go that far because they
1:20:06
almost get killed. But this illiterate girl that
1:20:09
can barely walk or fight, has no fighting skills, four days to
1:20:14
find and is fine. You know what it's giving?
1:20:17
It's giving The Truman Show, yes, where he gets to the very
1:20:20
edge of the earth and he's. Looking for the.
1:20:22
Exit sort of thing. That's her.
1:20:24
I was like, it's sort of like. You know when you're playing.
1:20:26
Skyrim or any kind of game and you're just on the edge.
1:20:28
So she's just on the edge looking for a like soft part of
1:20:32
the realm. It's like at no point anything
1:20:35
tried to attack her, harass her and how do you just know?
1:20:39
Where it is, Yeah. The amount of times I'd get lost
1:20:42
and end up back at the cabin, walk two days to the wall and
1:20:45
then two days along the wall and then how many?
1:20:48
And then she walked from there to his house.
1:20:52
That's convenient. That's convenient.
1:20:54
She got attacked that many times in the forest, and she
1:20:57
conveniently didn't get attacked them times.
1:21:00
I practically have to use GPS to go to your house.
1:21:02
I've been there a million times. Exactly.
1:21:05
Every time I drive here. If they mow their yard next
1:21:08
door, I don't know which house it is exactly.
1:21:11
She's somehow got the tracking senses of a Bloodhound.
1:21:16
Oh my God. You know what, though?
1:21:18
She enters. Which in itself, as we
1:21:20
described, is an insane feat for her to do.
1:21:23
Yeah, yes. Alice is that pissed.
1:21:26
Yeah, she's like why the fuck? Back why the?
1:21:28
Fuck, are you here and. Then instead of just being like
1:21:33
OK like go go the fuck home we don't need you, you've got to
1:21:36
make it worse. She just unloads the whole truth
1:21:39
which she can't run at any fucking point in time.
1:21:41
I think they were all cursed and could not say anything about it,
1:21:45
but they could now. And you know what?
1:21:49
When Tamlin dropped her off in the little carriage, she didn't
1:21:53
say I love you back. No, So everyone's salty about
1:21:56
it. Do you remember her reasoning?
1:21:58
If something like I'm not going to burden him with that thought.
1:22:02
So she didn't, She wanted to say it.
1:22:04
She didn't want to burden. Him.
1:22:06
And he's sitting there like I waited 49 years.
1:22:12
Also, what's with the 7:00 and 7:00?
1:22:14
Don't know. It doesn't mean something.
1:22:17
Arrange something with someone. Not me.
1:22:20
So Alice just is pretty much like, sit down, let me tell you
1:22:22
everything she tells her all about.
1:22:25
Also, I want to know why they're cleaning up the house while
1:22:27
she's doing it. No one's looking then.
1:22:30
Yeah, I don't know. If you're expecting to die, are
1:22:32
you really going to be doing the floorboards?
1:22:34
Like what? And she's like.
1:22:39
Oh. And Marantha, she's.
1:22:40
Tamlin's bitter ex and she has like a raging heart on for him
1:22:44
still and she's the whole problem behind everything and
1:22:47
like blah blah. Blah blah blah blah and then
1:22:49
favour's like. Please, I want to meet this hoe.
1:22:52
I've got to sort this out. Like I'm going to save the
1:22:55
world. She's like me, a 19 year old
1:22:57
petite little baby is going to walk up to this 500 year old
1:23:00
bitch and just sort it out. And she's like, I know.
1:23:05
She. She's like Timlin's all powerful
1:23:09
but he doesn't have all of his power and he still can't fuck
1:23:12
this bitch up. And you can.
1:23:14
You know what I mean? That's white girl audacity
1:23:18
privilege. The scary white girl audacity.
1:23:20
That guy on TikTok, that's like scary white women doing random
1:23:24
shit with dogs. It'll be like a scary white
1:23:27
woman walk outside and pick up a cougar and take it.
1:23:30
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, true.
1:23:34
So Alice like after a bit of. Back and forth being like, no,
1:23:38
you're literally going to be fried up immediately.
1:23:41
She's like don't even bother. Yeah, there's no point.
1:23:43
There's no point. You can't do anything.
1:23:44
She'll practically look at you when you'll disintegrate.
1:23:46
Yes, because she she would. Yes, she would.
1:23:49
Which is why I don't understand what happens next because.
1:23:52
Ferris like, don't worry about. It I have the audacity of a
1:23:55
white woman, I'm on my way and then making my way to town,
1:24:00
walking fast. That's what they're listening to
1:24:02
on the way. You just know it.
1:24:04
So she gets. There, right?
1:24:06
If there's one thing Fair has, it is the audacity because she
1:24:10
sees Tamlin's ex. She goes.
1:24:13
Into the bells of hell to go find this lady.
1:24:16
To be fair, she doesn't know. Oh, she does know now, but she
1:24:20
doesn't know told her the extent of enough.
1:24:23
Yes, this is what this bitch thought in her own.
1:24:26
Head. Though lovely.
1:24:29
She wasn't as devastatingly. Beautiful as I'd imagined.
1:24:33
Wasn't some goddess of darkness and spite?
1:24:36
It made her. All the more petrifying, knock
1:24:39
it down a peg girl. So essentially she's thinking
1:24:43
she's an ugly bitch. She's ugly to the point of being
1:24:46
scary. She's like, maybe This is why
1:24:49
10/1 doesn't want to like her. This is why 10 one's not giving
1:24:53
it in. But a weird bitch like.
1:24:54
Imagine being that pick me in your brain.
1:24:58
Yeah. Marantha.
1:24:59
How is she? Second read, right?
1:25:01
I'm like, I love this woman. Don't ask me why.
1:25:06
I'm like, I love how she speaks. It's very Hogwarts, OK?
1:25:11
It's very. She could work for Dumbledore.
1:25:13
Do you know what I mean? OK, the first thing she says is
1:25:17
oh you are delicious, you let me torture this innocent girl to
1:25:21
keep this one safe. You lovely thing.
1:25:23
You actually made a human worm love you.
1:25:26
And I'm like, she speaks like that.
1:25:28
All the time. Yeah.
1:25:29
And I'm like, she's giving pros. She.
1:25:33
I'm like she. She's serving Khan.
1:25:35
She's serving Khan. That's she would scare the shit
1:25:38
out of me and I'd be so interested in everything she was
1:25:41
saying. You'd be hanging on every word.
1:25:42
She's a walking dictionary. You know what?
1:25:45
Though. You know this woman has
1:25:46
snatched. Eyebrows.
1:25:48
Oh she If anyone has snatched eyebrows, it's Amarantha.
1:25:52
Take that to the bank. She's got no roots showing.
1:25:58
She's red headed. Red headed eyebrows snatch top
1:26:01
to. Taint.
1:26:02
Tits. Up.
1:26:05
Tits. Oh, they're up.
1:26:07
They are up. She's red headed.
1:26:09
Not a freckle, not a freckle, porcelain rosy cheek.
1:26:14
I'm just saying we didn't get enough of that.
1:26:16
Cheekbone. Horrible.
1:26:18
Woman exactly. Cheekbone Stupid's bow Coke
1:26:22
bottle body. Exactly what I'm saying is we
1:26:27
should first rapist a foul person.
1:26:33
Disgusting. Disgusting.
1:26:35
But hot. Exactly.
1:26:38
In the most understated way. In a gross way, I reckon in a
1:26:42
way that it's all features, no makeup.
1:26:43
You know what I mean? Like, you know all features.
1:26:45
You know what I reckon it is all features.
1:26:48
On point, yes. Don't match, yes.
1:26:51
Not the golden ratio. No.
1:26:53
Like they do not all go together.
1:26:55
Good features. Scary.
1:26:57
Scary. Exactly, exactly.
1:27:01
That's a marintha. I just like horrible woman but.
1:27:05
Terrible. I reckon we should have got more
1:27:07
of her. She's like you.
1:27:08
Delicious little treat. Yeah, she loves it.
1:27:11
She's like, oh, you. She.
1:27:13
Lied about your name and made my man hurt.
1:27:16
Go kill this random bitch. Now she's plastered on my wall.
1:27:21
And you look sad. About it.
1:27:22
She's like you. Just made my 49 years.
1:27:26
She's a psychopath. She's like, I've been bored.
1:27:29
I've been waiting for you exactly.
1:27:31
And she's like, you're trying to say my man loves you the year.
1:27:38
But she's. Like she Yeah.
1:27:39
And she's like, I've come, my man.
1:27:41
She's. I've come to claim Tamlin, High
1:27:44
Lord of the Spring Court, which is kind of icky.
1:27:46
You're all of five feet. I'ma stomp you.
1:27:49
She she's. Saying this to a woman who has
1:27:52
all these people trapped under a fucking mountain, Reese, and is
1:27:58
apparently the most powerful high Lord.
1:28:00
He can't leave without permission.
1:28:03
And you're going up in there to talk about her ex-boyfriend that
1:28:06
is yours and she hasn't let go of Tamlin.
1:28:10
I see emotionally, emotionally, she is the Lulu.
1:28:14
She's deranged. That woman is cooked up there
1:28:17
and I want to know every inch of it.
1:28:20
But Ferris cooked too. You're telling me, you weak
1:28:24
woman? Let's be real.
1:28:27
Yeah, She's her body's only had sustenance for like, a couple of
1:28:31
months. She's not there.
1:28:32
She's not exercising. She's painting all day.
1:28:35
You're walking up to this. What?
1:28:36
She's crazy too. Yeah.
1:28:38
You're walking up to this fucking got me.
1:28:40
Crazy. She is that fucking crazy.
1:28:45
You can't favorite has to be batshit crazy.
1:28:49
And I'm saying to watch it walk up in there, turn around and be
1:28:53
like, ohh, there's Claire. And then just be like, OK, well
1:28:56
what are we doing? Literally, literally.
1:28:58
And everything goes you know what, let's play this out.
1:29:01
She's like, let me give you a fucking trial system.
1:29:05
I was like. Fucking too many.
1:29:07
Mortals are doing these fucking magical trials.
1:29:12
And I know the books are probably derived off this book,
1:29:14
yes, but shut the fuck up. Had enough?
1:29:17
At least. In Harry Potter, they had magic
1:29:19
to do their magical trials. Exactly.
1:29:21
It's always a mortal doing something that even the magical
1:29:24
people can't do. Exactly.
1:29:26
So she's like, here's a Riddle, but she'd give it to her
1:29:29
indefinitely. She's like, just solve it.
1:29:32
When you solve it, don't. Worry about.
1:29:34
It just like. I don't know.
1:29:36
Think about it in the shower. To be fair.
1:29:38
I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about it.
1:29:40
Could mean anything it. Could have been anything.
1:29:42
It could have been anything. It was so vague, honestly, and
1:29:45
the fact that Fairy didn't get it until very last minute makes
1:29:48
a lot of sense. She's never felt love a day in
1:29:52
her life. No, not even with Tamlin.
1:29:54
That was Stockholm's syndrome. That wasn't love.
1:29:57
But I don't get was that. Riddles like the finisher.
1:30:00
So if you finish that at any time, it's over, it's over,
1:30:03
you're done. She got the Riddle part, but she
1:30:06
was like, it's done at any time. But for the trial, she didn't
1:30:10
say like done on the spot. Exactly.
1:30:12
She gave her too much room. Yeah.
1:30:14
And it was like, oh. Let's just put you in like an
1:30:18
arena essentially, so we can all laugh at you die by a giant
1:30:22
worm. And it was very much giving
1:30:25
Harry Potter and the Basilisk. Oh, essentially.
1:30:28
Because did you see if she figured out the worm was blind?
1:30:31
No. It's huge.
1:30:32
Oh, I'll see if I can. What would.
1:30:34
OK. What weapons did she even have?
1:30:36
Nothing. She had the bones.
1:30:39
She had the bones. She found a bone pit.
1:30:42
This is essentially what she was getting chased by.
1:30:45
Fuck off. Yeah.
1:30:46
It's literally, you know what it looks like?
1:30:48
What it looks like? The men's the teeth.
1:30:52
What is it? A Fleshlight.
1:30:54
It looks like a flush the. One from that movie Dune.
1:30:57
No, I haven't seen it. No, but they made.
1:30:59
Yeah, but they made a popcorn bucket that I'm just calling it
1:31:02
a flashlight. Yes.
1:31:03
Yeah. I did see it but.
1:31:05
Bitch. That's obviously.
1:31:06
Blind. Why did it take her?
1:31:07
So long to figure that out. I don't think it took her that
1:31:10
long. I think she was under stress.
1:31:12
She was trying to panicking. Yeah.
1:31:14
And then she's like, I'm just going to cover myself in mud,
1:31:18
mudded up. Mudded she's.
1:31:20
How are people seeing this though?
1:31:22
Again, it's all up above that's. Convenient.
1:31:24
I need the. Logistics of this, I'm assuming
1:31:27
she's in a big arena higher and they're higher because they drop
1:31:31
her down. That better?
1:31:32
Then she got it, but that adder dropped her down pretty much.
1:31:36
What even is the adder and also who's?
1:31:38
Keeping a worm as a pet. For what reason do you have this
1:31:42
big ass arena for this worm? Because couldn't the worm anyone
1:31:47
as well? Couldn't it eat the fairies?
1:31:49
They're pretty much like the same size.
1:31:51
Yeah. So, well, they had a big pit of
1:31:54
bones. Yeah.
1:31:56
That's what I mean. Like the?
1:31:57
Worm is a threat to us all, yeah.
1:31:59
This is not a. Exclusive to her problem, and
1:32:01
you know what? The only person bet betting on
1:32:04
her to win was recent. Yeah.
1:32:07
Because he's got the hots for those non clapping cheeks.
1:32:10
He's the only person whoever has faith in her at any time.
1:32:14
But he treats. Her mean to keep her keen.
1:32:16
He's not as mean as other people, though.
1:32:19
Yeah. He's like just snarky.
1:32:21
He's sassy mean, yeah, but he constantly.
1:32:25
The Spring Court is called. I think he calls her a fool once
1:32:28
and it's when she's like making it with Temple.
1:32:31
Yeah, she is. But the spring call are
1:32:33
constantly calling her, like pretty much stupid, a fool.
1:32:37
He's the only person that never calls her stupid.
1:32:41
Yeah, which is a lot. It's kind of like why is the
1:32:44
weight of the entire world falling on her just by chance.
1:32:47
I know. That's what I mean.
1:32:48
It's. Just like I don't believe it,
1:32:50
no, but even then there's a bit after all this, the night before
1:32:54
our last trial where reason goes back in is sitting in her cell
1:32:58
and he's like the weight of my entire life is essentially on
1:33:02
this illiterate 19 year old girl and he's like, it does not make
1:33:05
any sense. No, he doesn't.
1:33:07
He's like just book it May he's like, I literally just have all
1:33:11
my fucking. All my eggs are in this basket
1:33:13
for you girl, and that's all I have.
1:33:15
Wouldn't by the time you're that old just not care anymore?
1:33:19
I'd be like fuck this, no waste of time, you're 500 years old.
1:33:23
Yeah, I would have seen. Enough.
1:33:25
I'd like let the Blight take me. Exactly.
1:33:27
I'd be bored. I mean, she probably would.
1:33:29
She probably wouldn't let you die.
1:33:31
Yeah. It's like a torture thing, isn't
1:33:33
it? So after the mid Ghanian war,
1:33:36
she's running through, she traps him, she becomes blind.
1:33:40
She doesn't come blind. She's hiding in Yeah, shit.
1:33:44
She's covered in shit. Unfindable.
1:33:46
She makes herself unfindable. She's covered in shit.
1:33:49
A regular occurrence. Yeah, it's fine.
1:33:52
She gets the mid guardian work, but then she also impales her
1:33:56
arm on her bone and she has to get it healed.
1:33:59
And Lucian's like screaming at her after she seen resend and
1:34:02
was like, you should have just waited for me.
1:34:04
And she's like, I was on death door, I was dying.
1:34:07
I had a fever herself. Dying.
1:34:09
She's had a fever. She has everything.
1:34:11
It's getting infected. It's infected.
1:34:13
Reeson came and he's like, I can't help you or you can die.
1:34:18
See what happens with Lucian. Yeah, but he's not here yet, is
1:34:22
he? And he waited.
1:34:23
He's waited that length of time. And he goes.
1:34:25
You know what, girl? How about you come live with me
1:34:28
one week out of the fortnight? Well, it was two weeks out.
1:34:31
That's. Right, two weeks out of the
1:34:32
month and then she bargained down to one week.
1:34:35
Out of the month. Out of the month, yeah, OK.
1:34:37
And then he didn't. He didn't go through all.
1:34:39
The fine print. But he's.
1:34:40
Kind of like it's. Fine, it's kind of like when.
1:34:43
Your parents split up and. You just live with.
1:34:44
Me and you can live with him, it's fine.
1:34:47
But what? Would he want her for like 2
1:34:49
weeks? One week?
1:34:50
What is she doing? He doesn't have to tell her
1:34:53
that, doesn't. Care.
1:34:55
He doesn't. He just wants a new pet.
1:34:57
Yes, obviously. Yes.
1:34:59
She's kind of like, well, fuck, I'm going to die.
1:35:01
And he's like, well, and then he's about to walk out and she's
1:35:04
like, hold up, bitch. She's like whoa, whoa.
1:35:07
That's OK. I love how Lucian was pissed at
1:35:11
her. It's like bitch.
1:35:12
He. Wasn't coming.
1:35:14
Like he wasn't going to come in time.
1:35:15
And honestly, she's right. She goes to him.
1:35:19
You've even stalled this much doubt on me consistently.
1:35:22
You almost let me get fucking eaten by these weird leathery
1:35:26
creatures. Lucian's not really much better.
1:35:30
Not really. Than any other male character in
1:35:33
this book. No, he just doesn't expect sex
1:35:35
from her. Yes, that's the only difference.
1:35:38
And then so she realized, oh fuck, I'm all tatted up now.
1:35:42
Yeah, I have recent full fucking tattoo everywhere.
1:35:45
Full body. And now?
1:35:48
He can sense how she's feeling, how she's doing kind of thing.
1:35:52
Yep, in her head and she's like, Oh no, I'd signed up for way
1:35:56
more way more than I wanted. It's very much 19 year old do
1:36:00
not read the fine print. She's just.
1:36:01
Signed up for her first credit. Card and didn't realize what an
1:36:04
interest rate is. She's like, uh oh.
1:36:07
I'm like. His.
1:36:08
His. His his for that week.
1:36:10
He's watching everything. He's got ESPN in my brain.
1:36:13
Yeah, he's got the subscription. Plan.
1:36:16
You know what though? If she wipes her ass with that
1:36:18
hand, he's getting a full asshole.
1:36:21
What? Oh yeah, because she has an eye
1:36:23
on her head. Yeah, literally.
1:36:24
He'd be like, whose eye is this in my asshole?
1:36:29
He's like take A and she's she's a bit suss on the eye because is
1:36:33
it like a physical eye? No, it's just like a painted
1:36:37
Imagine you'd have to put your hand down all the time, but then
1:36:41
you can't even have any conversation.
1:36:42
He's listening to everything. It's kind of like that.
1:36:46
It's just is it on the top? It's on the bottom, I think, OK,
1:36:51
But it's just, I don't think there's actually a picture, but
1:36:53
it's just it's literally painted, OK.
1:36:56
So it's basically. Like how your phone's always
1:36:58
listening to you? Yes, it's that he knows
1:37:00
everything, but as soon as this happens, he's taking advantage.
1:37:05
He's like, I'm going to have you practically nude in front of
1:37:09
every single person, painted head to toe.
1:37:12
So I know that if anyone's touching you, that's not me.
1:37:15
Essentially, his reasoning is pissed Hamlin off enough.
1:37:18
But she's drunk. No, she's like, fuck it, we're
1:37:21
on the wines again. We're on the wines.
1:37:22
She's not summer solstice drunk. She's she's white girl.
1:37:26
She's blacked out cruiser drives, Sauvignon blancs ish.
1:37:30
She don't remember a thing. She's like that middle-aged
1:37:34
white lady who's the first person on the dance floor.
1:37:37
She is wine gone, she is gone. She's grinding.
1:37:41
She's always in his legs. There's one night she gets a
1:37:44
little jealous because he's entertaining some other girl and
1:37:48
she's like, I'll just have to wait my turn.
1:37:50
Imagine. Though.
1:37:52
You thought you had a Boo and you go to the nightclub and then
1:37:56
they're tatted up. Yeah, with your like,
1:38:00
essentially your rival. Yes, all tatted up.
1:38:03
All tatted up. Grinding all over him.
1:38:05
You're like dancing naked. What does?
1:38:08
She's got nothing. It's all see through.
1:38:10
Yeah. So her 'cause she's.
1:38:12
What did I miss here? What happened to my innocent
1:38:15
little Goyle? She's twerking.
1:38:19
She's throwing that. But it's OK, Tam Tam, because
1:38:21
technically you still have her three weeks out of the month.
1:38:25
Imagine being stuck with your cheetah girlfriend.
1:38:28
I know he's like can anyone else take over?
1:38:31
Can I find? Another girl fighting during
1:38:33
those three weeks yes no thank you.
1:38:37
She has the worst time pettiness of this love triangle.
1:38:41
Nah is off the charts and I'm here for it because this is the
1:38:44
love triangle that they actually want the girl.
1:38:47
Yes, you know how there's a love triangle where she just rejects
1:38:50
the recent character and then she just keeps with the Tamlan
1:38:54
for no reason? Yes, this is an actual love
1:38:56
triangle. She's kind of like he's hot and
1:38:59
I'm here for it. So she goes to the second trial.
1:39:02
She can't fucking read. This is where I'm confused about
1:39:05
how Amarantha knew that she couldn't read because recent
1:39:08
didn't know she couldn't read. So who told her?
1:39:11
Was it Tamlan? But why would he do that?
1:39:13
That's what I mean. How does she know?
1:39:15
She's like, you're a hunter, you can't read, here's your trials.
1:39:19
Maybe she just guessed and was right.
1:39:21
Maybe illiterate? Like.
1:39:24
I'd be like, yeah, she's hungry. How did she know?
1:39:26
How did she know? She's like, you look uneducated.
1:39:31
Meanwhile, Lucian's in the back trying not to die.
1:39:35
At this point you flop your fucking asshole.
1:39:37
These are fair weathered friends.
1:39:39
You know the ones that they always want something and.
1:39:42
Then. The second.
1:39:43
You're dying with your fucking infected arm.
1:39:47
They're nowhere. The reason he didn't go help her
1:39:51
was because he was whipped from telling her where the worm was,
1:39:56
so it's not like he was going out of his way.
1:39:57
But also, this man is apparently friends with anyone.
1:40:01
Like when he. Sends someone down.
1:40:02
I don't. Know.
1:40:04
But wasn't it? It's his power that she needed.
1:40:06
So maybe just healing don't have.
1:40:08
Oh, OK. Yeah, just they heal everyone.
1:40:11
Yeah. She does this trial, she's
1:40:13
crying. Reese's hyping her up.
1:40:15
He's calling her a good little girl, telling her to go back to
1:40:18
herself. This is where he licks her face,
1:40:21
why she's crying. He licks up her face and then
1:40:24
she this. She was getting.
1:40:26
Turned on, though, she was like, oh, I feel some kind of way.
1:40:31
And he could feel it because he's, yeah, because he knows.
1:40:34
Because he knows. But then as soon as he went to
1:40:37
make out with her eyeballs, he was like, uh, maybe this is not
1:40:40
what I want. He's full tonguing my eyeball
1:40:43
right now. Why would you go straight from
1:40:45
licking the tears on the eyeballs?
1:40:47
I think he was supposed to distract her.
1:40:49
But also it's weird. The night before the next trial,
1:40:52
he takes her out. This is where he ignores her and
1:40:56
he's cuddling up with this other person and she like follows
1:40:59
Tamlin into this place and he catches him and he's like,
1:41:03
you're an idiot, she's going to be looking for you apparently.
1:41:06
I think it's because all the paint on her was smudged from
1:41:08
Tamlin. So then he makes out with her to
1:41:11
make it look like it was from him.
1:41:12
So he's not that dumb. No.
1:41:14
But at this point, she was like, I don't want to be with Reese
1:41:18
and I want to be with my true love talent.
1:41:20
Yeah, yeah. And then they try to.
1:41:21
Fuck. Because.
1:41:23
We're all going to die again, like you know.
1:41:25
The last shit I ever fucked. Obviously they can't do that
1:41:28
shit because Reese knows everything.
1:41:31
He can feel it. He's watching them, he's
1:41:33
watching it. He can interrupt whenever he
1:41:35
wants. He's more powerful, plops his
1:41:37
little wings out, angry. And then he's like, oh, I'm
1:41:41
going to pack them. Away.
1:41:44
What even is the last trial? I forget The last trial is her
1:41:47
stabbing them people in the heart.
1:41:50
And then she has to stab Tamlin and she's like, oh, I forgot,
1:41:54
he's got a concrete heart. And then she.
1:41:56
Stabs him but he's recovering too slow.
1:41:59
And this is where she's like getting snapped around by a
1:42:03
Marantha. She's literally getting thrown
1:42:05
wall to wall Reese and screaming Tamlin's on the ground.
1:42:10
Yep, he's like my. Baby.
1:42:13
My girl fuck. Nobody.
1:42:15
Cares about the 1st 2:00. Fairies that got no, no one.
1:42:18
Gives a fuck about them. One of them was crying, the
1:42:21
other one's like just kill me now I've had enough.
1:42:24
That would be me. You would.
1:42:26
Just want crying. I wouldn't.
1:42:27
I'd also be like just Take Me Out.
1:42:29
I don't know if he's going to win.
1:42:30
We both go on just take me to the other scene.
1:42:33
But it was so funny how she was just grappling with her morals.
1:42:36
Like shut up, bitch. Oh, just stab her you.
1:42:38
Don't care. You don't care.
1:42:40
You would stab anybody for stupid Tamel.
1:42:42
On it. At this point.
1:42:43
But then she stabs Tamlin and she's like crying.
1:42:46
Oh no. Oh.
1:42:47
No and Marintha is like I'm not letting you go anyway you're
1:42:51
fucked. These are all stuck here.
1:42:52
I lied exactly. And this because why would she
1:42:55
kill her precious Tamlin? Yes because she hasn't gotten
1:42:58
back with him yet. But also at this point when
1:43:01
Feyra finally works out the Riddle, she's like fucking arch
1:43:05
back neck crack. She's broken.
1:43:08
She's broken the whole body through.
1:43:14
She literally is upside down, neck under her, like her head's
1:43:18
under her body. She's done.
1:43:20
And she's like, oh, this is love.
1:43:22
She's like. This is what love feels like.
1:43:24
It's not. And then Tam was like.
1:43:28
Oh. My powers are back, but I know
1:43:32
Reese was on the floor, but also he was counting on Tamela's
1:43:37
powers when he turns people dust.
1:43:40
So he could have just that. Bitch.
1:43:42
Was it because he doesn't have his full powers back until
1:43:45
Amarantha's dead? I don't know.
1:43:47
I thought they all got their powers back.
1:43:49
Maybe. Oh, May, actually, No, you're
1:43:51
right. Because she had a hold on him,
1:43:53
right? Yeah, she had a hold on them
1:43:55
all. But yeah, she only wanted Tamlan
1:43:57
free, I suppose. So she only asked for Tamlan?
1:44:00
Yeah, but yeah, then they stab her, and then that's the end.
1:44:03
What a sad death for Amarantha. And why would?
1:44:05
You have trials that are so inconsistent.
1:44:07
One's a verbal with no time limit, Yes.
1:44:11
Once a giant arena experience with a worm that everyone's
1:44:15
watching. And the other one is just like,
1:44:17
let's line up these people for you to stab, yeah.
1:44:20
Pull a handle. I know.
1:44:22
She gets all the. Powers of all the High Lords.
1:44:25
How convenient. How convenient.
1:44:26
But also is it though? She killed her, so she absorbed.
1:44:30
It's I think. It's because she died, and
1:44:32
they're the reason she they're now not locked under a mountain.
1:44:35
Yeah, you know what I mean? But the craziest part about it,
1:44:38
the first person to give her power was the autumn.
1:44:42
Hi Faye. He's the worst, most abusive
1:44:45
one. He's the one that killed
1:44:47
Lucian's partner. Yep.
1:44:49
And he's like, I'm in the front of the line.
1:44:51
It's like what? He no, but literally he killed
1:44:54
Lucian's partner. He tried to kill Lucian.
1:44:57
His sons are constantly trying to kill each other.
1:45:00
He bashes his wife, and he's the first one in the line to go
1:45:03
here. And it doesn't make any sense.
1:45:06
I feel like if they had to force him to give it to A it would
1:45:09
make more sense. Wasn't she literally dying?
1:45:12
She started to act first but she was dead dead.
1:45:16
She was like in the middle. But Tamlin didn't even.
1:45:18
Think of it first. He was crying.
1:45:21
Performative crying. Performative crying because he
1:45:24
doesn't actually love it. That's very.
1:45:26
Obvious, yes. You know.
1:45:28
Tamlin is the fakest bitch. Yeah, you can tell it's the
1:45:32
first date. It's the highlights, yeah, and
1:45:35
it's. But it's also the heart of
1:45:38
concrete. Stone.
1:45:39
Steel, whatever it was. But yes.
1:45:40
Very much giving a fuck boy for his own benefit.
1:45:43
Exactly, exactly. Very obvious.
1:45:46
OK, so she becomes a High Faye. Yes.
1:45:49
Cool, cool. Now you've got all the fucking
1:45:51
powers. You've got the powers of the
1:45:52
fucking rainbow. Literally.
1:45:56
So you're like top bitch. She is top bitch.
1:45:58
How? What a comma.
1:45:59
So cunty. Cunty.
1:46:01
She's serving cunt. She's she's serving cunt in the
1:46:04
highest order. How many watts out of five?
1:46:07
How many chronic diarrheas? How many?
1:46:11
Yes. How many watery bowels?
1:46:14
Watery bowels out of five, yes. I'll let you go because I know
1:46:18
you like it. It's like a four for me.
1:46:22
It's a four watery bounce. Yep.
1:46:24
I'm obsessed. I know it's not the greatest,
1:46:26
but I'm obsessed. OK.
1:46:27
I thought you'd give it a 5. No, because I feel like it could
1:46:31
be better. And upon second read, I slugged
1:46:34
through it really hard. OK, so I'm going to go with.
1:46:37
You're going to be so surprised. I actually am going to give it a
1:46:40
four watery bounce out of you do like it.
1:46:42
Yeah. I didn't think you were going.
1:46:46
To like it. You know what you gave me?
1:46:48
You didn't. Give it a 5 because I thought at
1:46:50
least I'm giving it a four no? You gave.
1:46:52
Me No indication at any point that you actually enjoyed this.
1:46:56
Book that's. Surprising because remember we
1:47:00
were talking about it one day and you were like, I couldn't
1:47:02
get into it, hesitant. You know what I just Tamel and
1:47:05
you, you did. I'm grateful.
1:47:10
I'm grateful that you did it a four because I drove over here
1:47:14
in a stress thinking she was going to give it a fucking zero
1:47:18
with your watery balls. My balls were watered.
1:47:21
You know why? I liked how she writes actually,
1:47:27
at least having an orgasm just for the for the readers at home.
1:47:31
Do I? Think you understand how?
1:47:33
Stressed I'd feel about it. Wow, that was not necessary, I
1:47:37
know. Kind of like the trials.
1:47:40
Ignore. It's because you.
1:47:41
Told me that one time that you couldn't get into it.
1:47:44
So I'm like, I've gotta force her to read it.
1:47:46
But you've never you know that I.
1:47:47
Just say stuff. No, I do now.
1:47:54
You know that I just say stuff. And then because Jay doesn't
1:47:57
make any sense, because I even hyped myself up, I was like,
1:48:00
yeah, it's a really good book and you love it, Emily, but it's
1:48:02
not written as good as it could be.
1:48:04
So I was like. No, it was fine.
1:48:08
Because I do. You know what it is?
1:48:10
You never like fantasy books either.
1:48:12
Yeah. No, it has to be written in a
1:48:14
way that the world has explained.
1:48:15
Enough. Enough.
1:48:17
Not too much. Yeah, just in.
1:48:19
No, like just enough. I don't care if it's extremely
1:48:21
elaborate. I need to be able to see shit.
1:48:23
If I can't see it, I'm pissed off.
1:48:25
That makes sense. But I could see a lot of this.
1:48:27
So I was. I feel like it was not too much
1:48:30
either. Yeah.
1:48:31
And look, you would love plot. The plot was plotting.
1:48:33
You would love Tara Dawn because there was a whole chapter in the
1:48:36
1st chapter of it's throwing a glass where she is world
1:48:41
building. And I was like, oh, this is too
1:48:42
much. That would be brilliant.
1:48:44
But I need that though. In.
1:48:46
It's maybe not all up the front you can actually unclench your
1:48:52
asshole. Now how?
1:48:53
Good, I'm. Very excited, because every time
1:48:56
we read kind of serious things, you shit all over it.
1:49:00
No, no, that's fine. Because sometimes they are shit.
1:49:03
Yeah, but you don't want to read it.
1:49:05
You don't want to read more. No, but I'm like, if I forced
1:49:08
you to read more, I'm not going to feel bad about it now.
1:49:10
No, why would I care? But not now.
1:49:12
Because I want Tamlin to reveal himself as scum, That's all.
1:49:19
Next book. So I assumed that would happen
1:49:21
because it's very obvious. Yeah, yay.
1:49:27
Like what the hell? This is like such a moment in
1:49:31
our friendship that I'm probably going to forget about when I
1:49:33
leave here. Probably.
1:49:35
Probably until we pick up the next book.
1:49:37
Thanks for joining us on Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily.
1:49:40
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1:49:41
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