Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 79 | The Desk vs. The Door: Mastering Feedback Without Dad Guilt | The Reset
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the reset episode 79 with me, Sean Tucker. Be careful about what you put out. What I mean is you have a choice when you see something online, when you see someone outside, and that is how you judge someone, what it is you think about someone, what it is you type into the keyboard about someone that you see online, see in person, see out on the streets, see at school, whatever, at work. All of those thoughts, all of those things that might happen in your head, always be mindful of where it's coming from. And always be mindful that what you project is what is happening within yourself. Because there are too many people right now who are literally sitting behind a keyboard just waiting for someone to make a fool of themselves so that they can sit there and just criticize and judge and just write whatever the hell they want about this person. And guess what happens to that person? The person who sits on the sidelines just judging someone. Rather than taking action, rather than working on themselves, what happens? What goes around comes around. The cycle continues and it is up to us as individuals, as human beings, as people to put an end to it. You can either choose to encourage someone or you can choose to discourage someone. If you're choosing to encourage someone, it's not about doing it for the sake of your own insecurity. It's about doing it from the goodness of your heart. you can quite clearly see that someone is trying their best. And if someone is doing their best, don't they deserve to be celebrated? Don't they deserve to be like, celebrated for how good they are? I agree that the society we've created is very cotton wool, it's very cotton ball. You can't really say what you want to say. And I'm all for being direct and telling people the truth. But if you can genuinely see that someone is trying their best. You know, there's a way to offer advice that feels good when it's received. There is a way to offer advice where it feels like you're being attacked. And I think this is what people fear. This is what I've feared in my own life. And it has hindered my growth dramatically. So if you want to 10X your growth and your ability to really become that next best version of yourself, tune in right now. because this has taken me at least 10 years, if not closer to 15 or 20 years to actually get a hold of. And that is as simple as responding to feedback rather than reacting. And I am fortunate that I have put myself with a mentor who understands the importance of feedback and delivering feedback in a way where it's positive growth oriented because most people offer feedback or offer advice coming from a place where it's just performance, performance, performance, performance. And if you're sick and tired like I am, performing for others, now is your time to even listen in a little bit closer. Because the best way to deliver feedback is using this formula. It's called a growth sandwich. Give someone a piece of feedback that is positive, that you notice that you can actually celebrate them for. That's step one. Step two. is then give them the piece around opportunities for growth. Notice the words that I use, opportunities for growth. Your opportunity for growth is that you speak way too fast. So can you imagine what it would be like to slow down so that the people who are listening to you can actually fully digest and understand what you're saying? Do you understand what I'm saying? Does that make sense to you? Great, because that will be a massive game changer for you. And by the way, I really loved the tonality, the modulation that you used with your voice and delivering your talk. That was fantastic. But yeah, if you want to go to the next level, follow that. because that will make you world class. Right now, you are here. You want to be here and through the roof, take on what I just said. That's how you deliver feedback. Step one, deliver something positive. Step two, give them an opportunity for growth. Step three, say something positive. Give them that growth sandwich. Cause everyone loves to be celebrated. Everyone loves to have people talk about them in ways that makes them feel good about themselves. No one loves to hear how shit they are. How crap they did. How, badly they performed. People are already self aware or intellectually aware of their faults, of their weaknesses, of the things they need to work on. But they just haven't heard the feedback that's helpful for them. And if they have heard feedback that was helpful, that was too hard to stomach, they didn't take it on board. They're not going to take it on board. They're probably going to move away and run the other direction. Because I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sensitive when it comes to what people say. And there is that old saying of sticks and stones may break their bones, but words will never hurt me. That's bulldust. That's crap. Because I've heard words come from people's mouths because I have fully, truthfully been with those people. And I saw that their insecurities were my insecurities. and I didn't know what to do with it. And now I do. Now I know it's not about me. It's always about them. and I'm not here to say how good I am. Because I know how much work I need to do. I know how much more work there is to do. But that's the brilliance of being in this space. You're always working on yourself. The greatest gift you can give yourself is working on yourself. The greatest gift you can give anyone else is working on yourself. The greatest gift they can give you, guess what? Is that they work on themselves too. So be the gift for yourself and everyone else. Keep working on yourself. If you have found value in today's episode, I invite you to just share it with one person. That's how we grow the show and that's how we get the message out there. Thanks for tuning in and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow's episode.