Latest / Pathological Positivity / Play Like a Teammate, Lead Like a Champion – with Karl Mecklenburg – Episode #700
Transcript
- This is Live On Purpose Radio episode 700. Play like a teammate, lead like a champion with Karl Mecklenburg. Now is the only time to create and live the life you love. I'm doctor Paul Jenkins, the positivity psychologist. My job is to connect you to powerful positive psychology principles that immediately upgrade your relationships, business, and mental health. Are you ready? Let's jump in. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Live On Purpose Radio. Join me today for a landmark episode of Live On Purpose Radio. We're at episode 700. Folks, 700. And this is a weekly show. So go do the math. Right. You can you can watch, one one show each day for almost a couple years now. Well, yes, you could. And, you know, I was reflecting on this. My guest today is Carl Mecklenburg, folks. What does it take to rise from an underdog to a champion, then become a leader that others can count on? That's what we're getting into in today's episode. As I welcome back former Denver Broncos captain NFL all pro linebacker Carl Mecklenburg for a powerful conversation about what a couple of old guys have learned in the last few years. Carl, welcome to Live on Purpose Radio. Thanks, doctor Paul. I'm looking forward to it. I should just say welcome back. Right? There you go. This isn't the first time we've done this. Right? Yeah. And I'm excited to have this conversation with you today, especially where we're on a landmark episode of Live on Purpose Radio. We've been doing this for a while. And as I was reflecting on this, Carl, I thought, who better to have a conversation with me today as we reflect back on what works, what doesn't and just tap into your mind a little bit about what you've learned about two things primarily. This is what I wanted to get into with you today. Teamwork, being a team player and leadership. So I know you've got thoughts about that and we could probably spend a couple of hours here. Right. There you go. What pops into your mind, Carl, as I just steer you that direction a little bit? Yeah. The teamwork piece is is just vital for for, anyone, and and and it's... It... It's challenging in today's world. People, my daughter has a job where she's remote and she's online, and they don't... She doesn't she doesn't see her teammates daily. She's not mixing in with them, and and they've gotta go out of their way to find ways to to feel like a team and become a team. Because because teammates, in my mind, anyway, they're they're connected. They they have... You you have to know what makes your teammate tick. Use the strengths of the individual to help the team, and use the strengths of the team to cover for the weaknesses of the individual. And that's that's that's really the, to me, the the crust of of of teamwork is is covering for each other and and helping each other. And and and you can become so much more dynamic, so much more successful if it's, if it's a team situation for for the people that are a part of that team. You know, as you address that a little bit, I'm remembering watching you play when you were playing for the Broncos. And as I looked at the field, you guys all looked the same. You're in the same Jersey. I mean, it's a team and it functions as a team. Now there are times when obviously Carl Mecklenburg stands out when you make a fantastic play or you get that sack for a loss or or, you know, those moments, but you can't go out there by yourself and win a football game. No. Yeah. That's for sure. That's for sure. I, Paul, I was drafted as a, as a nose guard, which is the guy right in the dead center, right on the ball. Right? Just lined up across from the center. They they switched me to defensive end because I had an injury, tore a ligament in my elbow, and you can't play nose guard without locking both arms out. You can play defensive end like that. So so they moved me to defensive end, then they moved me to inside linebacker, then they moved me to outside linebacker, then they had me playing all seven front positions depending on what they thought the other team was gonna do. And and it was difficult to be a teammate in those situations. I was... Every time I was moved, basically, what the, what the coaches were saying is we think Carl can do your job better than you can. And and to try and to try and and and go through that landmine of all these all these relationships, basically, what makes the team, and and and let everyone around me know that it's it's all about the team. It's not my idea. I'm just doing what I'm told just like you are, and we're gonna get this thing done was was a challenge. It really was. But it was also an unbelievable opportunity. We were doing things that confuse the offense. They they they had to make all kinds of adjustments and do things that, that they normally didn't have to do because I was able to to do all these different roles, play all these different roles. And it was it was, something that's never been done before and and probably will never never be done again, and it was the it was the, the baby, the, the mind storm from from Joe Collier, our defensive coordinator, and just just an amazing man, and and, I owe my whole career to him. I... I'd I'd have been a one in... One year and done kinda guy, as a nose guard, and and he found other ways to use me. And that's what great leaders do. And you're you're foreshadowing a little bit into the leadership part of our conversation here, and I wanna put a pin in that. But going back to the teamwork part, you as a player function within the context of the team. And for you to be ready, flexible, agile enough to move into whatever position is needed for the team or for whatever challenge you're facing. Because not every offense is the same and you're not gonna handle them all the same. Sure. Yeah. But you also mentioned your teammates because it would be easy in that situation to say, oh, I'm being, you know, pushed aside by this guy or whatever. And how often does that happen on a team where we get, you know, ego involved and it's about me. In fact, I'm I'm curious what your perception of that is because I think in today's sporting world, you started decades ago, but I think there's so much more money in it now, and there's so much more social media and sponsorship and everything else going on. It may actually detract a little bit from that teammate mentality. What what do you wanna say about that? If you can find if you can find the team, the the guys that are playing together, the guys that care about each other, the guys that have have relationship and are are are, doing everything they possibly can for the team, you're gonna find winners. You're gonna find find a a group that rises above because, you know, the talent's pretty universal, especially at the pro level. You know, you you can, you know, go online and and find everybody's height, weight, 40 times. You know, all all their statistics are... Everything is just laid out. And and and you you know what someone's capable of. The question is, how how do they fit into your team? What... How how does that individual's skill set match what you need right now? And and and that's that's what makes the the difference between a a franchise that does well repeatedly and for for years in a row and and franchises that struggle, is they they they keep trying to trying to, you know, replace the coach, replace the the the quarterback, replace everybody along the line. And and instead of of of figuring out what they... What they're capable of and putting them in situations to be successful, that they they they go they go off and and just keep replacing people. You know, Carl, you and I both do work with corporations and organizations where teamwork is relevant. And that's where your experience is so valuable there because it's so obvious on a football field that this is a team. For sure. And I think if we if we stop and look at it carefully, it's really obvious in other settings too. I'm I'm working with a technology company, for example, where the leader, the CEO spends probably 80% of his time trying to manage what he calls people problems, meaning his people aren't working and playing well together as a team. And they may be brilliant in whatever technical skills they have, but their value to the team is diminished if they can't work as a teammate. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen that as well? Oh, for sure. Yeah. There's an old saying in football. It doesn't matter how big or fast or strong you are. If you don't know where you're going, you're not gonna get there. And then there are a lot of guys that get drafted every year who are just specimens. I mean, I I saw them over and over and over again every year. Unbelievably gifted guys who didn't have the drive, had had no understanding of what it was to be a teammate, and and and wouldn't wouldn't take the time to learn the system and and fit within the system and know exactly what they're supposed to do. So so then they'd go home, and I would keep my job. It happened twelve years in a row. I I was the three hundred and tenth pick of the draft. I I was 20 guys away from mister irrelevant, the last guy. Right? I was not supposed to make it from a physical standpoint. But but teamwork and and and leadership, those thing... Those things aren't physical things. Those those are attitude. Those are... I'm I'm getting up the... This morning and and and thinking about my teammates and who I can make a positive impact on and and what I can do to help this team win the next game. Wow. You know, this... I'm I'm not sure how much difference there is between between being a real team player and being a leader. Yeah. There's no difference. So that's pretty much the same thing, Paul. Yeah. Leadership is not a a title. Leadership is the team. Leadership is a... Is is I'm a make, this happen today, and and people will follow me because, what I'm doing, it helps them. It... It's... How how how can I how can I touch the guys that I'm working with, the women that I'm working with today and make their make their day better and and make them more successful? So leadership is not some, I don't know, special endowment or skill set. It's really taking what we've been talking about already to to the level of where where it's really influencing and having an impact on everyone around you. Sure. Paul, I play I play with a guy named Gary Kubiak. Gary was a seventh round pick when I... That year I was a twelfth round pick. Mhmm. He was, he he he was he was a stud now. I mean, he would... He played, high school sports in Texas. You know, that's the the hotbed of high school sports. That's the... Oh, yeah. When you think of high school sports, it's it's Saturday night lights in Texas. You know? Like That's the main relay to the in Texas. Was all state eight times in Texas. He was all state in football twice, basketball twice, track twice, and, and baseball twice. That... That's that's how good a athlete he was. And he came in with us. And back then, they let you practice in the summer. They don't let you do that anymore. We we were running all kinds of drills and doing all kinds of stuff. The the union got that taken away so we wouldn't get hurt. George, I might get... I don't know. But, anyway, we're practicing, and and it was evident that he was gonna be the starter. And then we got to training camp, and then they traded for John Elway, and he wasn't gonna play. And there was no question he wasn't gonna play. And and instead of of looking at it as a negative thing, he figured out ways to lead from the sidelines. He would... He was unbelievable, in his relationships. He was unbelievable in his his approach. I mean, he he was our scout team quarterback. That means he runs the other... Runs the other team's plays and practice. Right? So we can so we can see what the other team's gonna do, when we play in that next next weekend. So so Gary's running the scout team, and and, usually, quarterbacks who are running the scout team, look at the card. They have cards with each play on it. Look at the card on the side, you know, in the huddle and and do... Gary studied the other team's quarterback, what his tendencies were, how he threw the ball. Like, we we play... Played Bernie Kosar in in the in the, Cleveland Browns, and Bernie Kosar steps one way and throws the other way. And and Gary would do that for us in practice. I mean, so he he had a he had a little, tradition with me before every game, and I'm sure he had it with other guys. But he'd come up to me before each game and say, Mac, hold up the class. Now I I know I know part of that was we were drafted the same year, but the other part of that was, Carl, I've done everything I possibly can to get you ready for this game. Mhmm. I'm gonna be sitting here on the on the sidelines with a baseball cap and a clipboard. Go out there and hold up the class. You're ready. And and that that was his leadership. And he and he took all that knowledge he developed from studying all these different offenses to get us ready and became a great, football coach. He he he he won a Super Bowl, as a offensive coordinator in San Francisco. He won a Super Bowl with the Broncos as the head coach. And and he he was he was an unbelievable coach because of being a great teammate. That's where that started. I got three more words for you. I'm gonna give them to you one at a time. Alright. And I want you to just take these words and apply your experience, your, everything that you've learned both in football and in life ever since you retired, what, thirty years ago? Years ago. A few years ago. First word is courage. Yeah.... With that for a minute. Where's the table? Yeah. Courage, courage to try new things, courage to be decisive. I talk about those things all the time. The courage to try new things, I think, is is is really a a huge challenge for a lot of people. They're afraid of failure, and and and stepping up and trying something new is is scary. We've all tried new things. They've gone wrong. My first speaking engagement was a great example of that, but everything blew up around me. I ended up, in the in The USA today, doing something I shouldn't have been doing because because I I misunderstood what what what was supposed to go on. So anyway, the courage is huge. If you if you break down my, pro football career, courage to be decisive, it was was really my main thing. If you boil it down, being decisive, being... Having that courage, not not fearing failure. I run a four nine forty. They they just had the draft. They don't want anybody getting drafted four nine forty who was under three hundred pounds. I was way too slow to play in the NFL, but I found out early on if I took the first step in the right direction before anybody else did, all the angles would change in my favor. I... I'd be able to make plays. I'd I'd be in the right place at the right time. And and and it all boiled down to courage, and and and courage to be decisive comes out of preparation. Going into the situation, haven't studied, haven't thought about it. This is this is what's gonna happen. And when you see it happen, go. Allow yourself to be be decisive. Have that courage. It's so fascinating to me that the word courage implies fear. Well, of course it does. Yeah. Because without the fear, it's not courage. Right? Yeah. Well, that's the limiting factor for most people's lives, most people's businesses, most people's relationships, is is fear of failure. I... I'm... I I... Do you have enough courage to to go when it's time to go? And and and, again, that only happens through preparation is is is you have you have that courage and and that ability to to step up when it's time to step up. I I remember something Dan Sullivan taught about this when he said, well, you know, sometimes we we don't do something because we don't have the confidence. We're demanding confidence from ourselves. What he said is what's what's required is commitment and courage. Right. And people ask him, well, what's the difference between commitment and courage? Well, I are between confidence and courage. Confidence feels good. Yeah. Courage doesn't feel good, and that's why we admire those who have it. And and so I appreciate what you said about the courage that that's required both to be a teammate and to be an effective leader. For sure. But also to succeed in in, this experience we call Earthlife. There you go. Alright. You ready for the next word? Alright. Honesty. Honesty. Yeah. Honest honest of of of... Beyond courage. Mhmm. Honesty is is is the is the most overlooked factor in in being successful. If you can't be honest with yourself in self evaluation, if you can't be honest with others in evaluation, there is there is no way you're gonna move forward. Honesty and forgiveness, are are... Is is a big part of of what I talk about. And and that, it's unusual. Of all the things I do talk about, I have I have a feedback that over and over again. Yeah. I've heard all that other stuff, but honesty, what do you mean? Yeah. And it's it's it's a, it's a challenge because if you if you if you... You are not gonna change if you don't believe there's a reason to change. If you can't look at yourself and say, okay. I did this right. I did this right. I did it. I didn't do this right. How can I how can I fix that? How can I change that? Well, how can I set some goals around that specific issue, whether it's a a relationship issue, whether it's a a business issue, whether it's a football issue, whatever, and and and and fix it? And we go into... We go into... NFL is is mostly meetings. I know I know people think we do all kinds of stuff on the field, and we do a little bit on the field. But but it's it's meetings, and you're sitting in there, and you're evaluating what went on. They they they, film every, game from two different angles. They film every practice, and they even film meetings. So, theoretically, you can sit in a meeting watching film of yourself, watching film of yourself practicing. I mean, everything everything... Yeah. Everything is on film. Everything's evaluated, and you're in the meeting room with your other linebackers or whatever position you play. And the coach is saying you did this right, you did this wrong, you did this right, you did... And and there's no punches pulled. It's not nice like that. It's like a... You you better be honest with yourself and say, yeah. I gotta fix that. The the other interesting thing is that if you grade out 90, that means, you know, one out of 10 plays you're doing wrong, You great you great out 90%. You're you're an all pro. You're the best of the best. So everybody's making mistakes. So that forgiveness piece, ultimately, you know, you see you see your teammate do something wrong and say, oh, that's not why they got the big game in this play. But I made I made this... A similar mistake, you know, three plays ago. And it's just... It's... You have to do... You have to have that honesty and forgiveness piece to to overcome in in in a in a in a in a quick situation game like football is. And and and I think it's the same in life. I mean, I... I've found it with my with my kids and and and with my wife for sure, and and just just trying to trying to, be honest with what what... What's my part of this? Why why is it going this direction? What can I do? What can I change? What can... How can I step up and make a difference? And that that honesty and that forgiveness and saying, okay, now it's time to move forward is, is huge. Well, you beat me to the punch on the third word, which is forgiveness. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I I tie those together. They they they really are are are very, very interdependent on each other because it... You can't forgive yourself if you're not honest with yourself about this is right or this is wrong. There... It just doesn't happen. I'm a I'm a man of faith, and I believe I'm forgiven. And and that, that makes it a lot easier for me to forgive myself. You know, I know that you tie these together, and I've heard you speak before. And I think this is something that really sets you apart, Daryl, from some of the the celebrity athletes that I've heard speak, you know, because they can all talk about, you know, attitude and and leadership and teamwork and and you talk about those things too. Too, but I think when it comes to the real basics of what allows you to sustain the kind of success that you've experienced in your career and continue to experience as a professional speaker and leader are these very basic principles. And when you were talking about honesty, okay, I'm driving down the road and I see this mechanic shop and they have on their sign, honest. Honest? We're honest. And I'm thinking, well, I should hope. Right? Do we have to say it? Well, maybe we do. Maybe we need to make that, an explicit... But it's like you're, you know, you see those motels when you're on a road trip. It says color TV, clean rooms. It's like, isn't that, like, a basic thing that we shouldn't even have to talk about? Right. That should be understood. And and and and honesty should be understood. But the honesty and self evaluation is is different, I think, when... Because it's really easy to fool yourself. It's really easy to to allow yourself to say this is good enough. This is this is is, I'm I'm comfortable now. And and and as soon as that happens Yes. Old coach Dan Reeves always used to say, you're either getting better or you're getting worse. You can't stay the same. And he was absolutely right. As soon as soon as you you... Again, stop fixing things. Stop moving forward. Stop making changes. Stop adjusting. Stop being honest. Stop being forgiven. Forgiving. You're going down. So I've got one more question for you before we wrap up the podcast, and that has to do with transition. So you had this illustrious career in the NFL, and you were getting all the accolades and you're playing with all the big boys, and then at some point you retire. Now, a lot of people think retirement means you stop working. I have a little problem with that myself because if something stops working at my house, I throw it away. There you go. So... And and my observation of you, Carl, is that that's that's not what it means for you because you've probably created even more value for people since you retired from the NFL. Well, I appreciate that. I I do. I I, you know, I went fishing for about a year. And after a while, the fish I caught today looked just like the fish I caught yesterday. It was... I got kinda bored, and and I I need to do something. I need to have a purpose. I need to I need to influence people. I need to, I'm I'm I'm a show off. I get to perform now. I I don't get hurt, though. So that's good. Nobody tries to hit you on the microphone? No. Nobody... Nobody's thrown at my knees yet. Let's see. But, yeah, I I I really enjoy what I do now. The the speaking... I... And I've been speaking for a lot longer than I played football. I've been speaking for more Right. Years. And and the challenges, the the the call for leadership, the call for, teamwork, the call to, to, be honest and forgiving with yourself. All the... All those things transfer, you know, just lockstep right right into my, right into my speaking business. And and and I love it. Again, it's it's it's game day for me when it's time to get up and speak. I'm excited. No eye black. No ankle tape. Instead, I I gotta put on, you know, some some loafers and some some dockers or... You shower before work instead of after. Right. Gotta make sure my hair is right. It's a little different. Well, I, thank you for responding to that question because I think it's easy for us at times to get into a mindset that, oh, well, my day has passed or I'm done or there's nothing else I can contribute and I don't think that's true ever because your rich life experience can be applied in different, exciting, and even better ways than it has been in the past. Has that been your experience too? You know, I I... Are you with me on that? Yeah. I really am, Paul. It's a it's a it's a joy to get up in the morning and know know I've got, you know, a thousand people waiting for me to come give a speech. That's... That... That's pretty cool. I I I, my wife travels with me now, so that's my little team. We we we go around the country, doing doing these presentations. Everything's tailored for the organization that I'm speaking for. I... You know, the stories are the stories, but the the the bridges between the stories all point back at that group and what their challenges are in that industry and what its challenges are. And it's Right. It's been very successful, and it... And it... And it's it's fun. It's rewarding to to see the light come on and, like, oh, you know, I mean, I'm a teammate. Anybody can look at a at a at a game on television and see which team is playing like a team and which team isn't. Right. But they don't see that in their own lives. And then that's that's my job. My my job is to to make sure that by the time I leave, that they realize, you know what? Yeah. That's that's why we're having this issue here. That's why this is happening in this this division or whatever. And and we can fix that. And and that... That's that... That's pretty rewarding. It's it's a real rush. It is. I think that's for sure. You and I are in the same industry now, and our job is to illuminate the obvious. Yeah. You know? We... You're right. Yeah. I I don't know that... I'm... When I'm speaking to adults, I don't know that I can tell them... Teach them something that they don't... Haven't already thought about or heard. You know? But to to come at it from a different angle and make it clear and and apply it to their lives, it's like, oh, yeah. That's right. And and when you see the lights go on Right? Yeah. It's it's so cool. Yeah. It's it's big fun. Carl, thank you for joining me again here on the mic for this landmark episode of Live On Purpose Radio. You guys go find Carl. If you are holding an event, if you've got an... A group of people coming together and you wanna share some of the brilliance with them, Carl Mecklenburg is great on the stage, on the mic. I've been in the audience with him. I've had lunch with him. I don't know how many times now, Carl, but... And we've been on this mic together. This is your guy if you want a leadership and teamwork speaker. So go look him up. Carl spelled with a k, Mecklenburg, however the heck you spell that. You can misspell it a number of ways and still get to my website. You can still find him. And you know what? He's so Google able that you start typing that in, you're gonna find Carl Mecklenburg. Carl, thank you for joining us here today at Live On Purpose Radio. Oh, for sure. It's always fun, Paul. Alright. You guys, you've heard it. Time to apply it. Let's go live on purpose. Did you get what you came for? Give yourself the gift of taking real action on what you realized today. Please share this episode with someone you know would value it and leave us a rating too. It's time now to live on purpose.