Latest / Daily Devotions for Busy Lives / What to Do When Fear Keeps You From Speaking Up
Transcript
- 0:01Track 1: Think of the last time you almost said something and
- 0:03didn't. A word of encouragement, maybe, or a question you'd
- 0:07wanted to ask. You ran the odds in your head and decided it
- 0:10would go badly, so you stayed quiet. Most of us do that a
- 0:13dozen times a day, at least. We stay silent because we're sure
- 0:17speaking up will cost us more than it gives. The truth was, a
- 0:20researcher has been measuring that exact calculation for years,
- 0:23and she found we get it wrong almost every time. We'll come
- 0:28back to what she found, but first, welcome to Daily
- 0:33Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. Years ago, I had a
- 0:37strong sense I ought to go see somebody in the hospital. I knew
- 0:41this person wasn't a follower of Jesus. I knew I should go, and I
- 0:45had time to go. I told myself I'd go in the morning. They died
- 0:49during the night. I still don't know what I would have said, but
- 0:53I would have shared the gospel. I know I never said it. Here's
- 0:57what I had to settle afterward, and I want you to settle it, too,
- 1:00because I'd hate for you to hear my story and draw the wrong
- 1:03conclusion. Whether that person is with the Lord today was never
- 1:06really in my hands. Deuteronomy says the secret things belong to
- 1:09God, and I believe that. He does work in places I'm not standing
- 1:13in. But what was in my hands was a drive across town, and I
- 1:18didn't make it. Most Christians have experienced a version of
- 1:21that. Maybe not quite as serious, but still important. The
- 1:25conversation at work where you had something to say, and you
- 1:27let it pass. The encouragement you composed in your head, and
- 1:30you never delivered. And here's the fear that usually wins.
- 1:34You're afraid of botching it, of picking wrong words, and making
- 1:37the moment worse than the silent was. That comes from caring, by
- 1:41the way. You care enough to make sure you say the right thing.
- 1:44Paul wrote to a young man tempted to keep his mouth shut
- 1:47instead of speaking out. It's in 2 Timothy 1.7.
- 1:55I know this verse gets quoted often, but verse 6, right before
- 2:01it, tells Timothy to fan into flames a spiritual gift God gave
- 2:04to him. Verse 8, right after it, says, So verse 7 lands in the
- 2:12middle of an argument about opening your mouth. Then look at
- 2:14where Paul is when he writes it. He's in prison. And verse 15 of
- 2:18that same chapter says,
- 2:22So Paul knows what speaking costs. He was paying for it
- 2:26while he wrote the sentence. Now take the three things Paul says
- 2:30God did give instead. The word for that last one appears
- 2:33nowhere else in the New Testament. It means a mind
- 2:36that's governed. Sound judgment. The older translations give it
- 2:40as a sound mind. Then look at what that list is for. Power is
- 2:45the nerve to open your mouth, and love is what keeps the word
- 2:48pointed at the person. gift goes straight at the thing you're
- 2:51afraid of. The governed mind is what gets the wording right. So
- 2:55the exact fear you've got is the one God equipped you against. He
- 2:59gave the prompt, and in the same breath, he gave the sound mind
- 3:02that handles how it comes out, didn't give you that fear of
- 3:05speaking up. Her name was Vanessa Bonds, a social
- 3:09psychologist at Cornell. She studies the moment we decide
- 3:13whether to speak, and the numbers keep coming back the
- 3:15same. We overestimate how badly it will go, and we underestimate
- 3:19the good that comes from saying it. We brace for the awkwardness
- 3:23or the rejection, and we forget that people are usually more
- 3:27glad to be spoken to than we imagine. Bonds found something
- 3:31else about how we say it. People badly overrate how well a
- 3:35message lands in writing, and her work found that asking
- 3:38face-to-face beats email by more than anybody predicts. So the
- 3:42fear in your chest that says, keep it in, is running the odds
- 3:46wrong. It's a bad forecaster. You can say the thing kindly and
- 3:50leave the of the other person to God. Put her finding next to
- 3:54Paul's. A researcher spent years proving that our fear about
- 3:57speaking is unreliable. Paul told Timothy 2,000 years earlier
- 4:01that the fear was never the gift, and he listed the sound mind as
- 4:04the thing God handed over instead. Here's today's
- 4:07challenge. Think of the prompt you've been ignoring. One name
- 4:10and one thing you've been meaning to say. Then go say it
- 4:15in person this week before Sunday. Say it kindly, and then
- 4:19stop talking because the reaction belongs to them and God.
- 4:23person beats anything you type by a margin nobody, I believe,
- 4:26would consider. And one more thing from me to you. Don't wait
- 4:29until morning. Father, Paul told a timid young man that the fear
- 4:33in him never came from you, and he listed out what he did. Thank
- 4:36you that the sound mind is your gift and never our achievement.
- 4:41For everybody listening with a name on their heart and a reason
- 4:43to put it off, give them the nerve to go today. Help us say
- 4:46it kindly and leave the rest with you. In Jesus' name, amen.
- 4:51If you need prayer today, I'd love to hear from you. You can
- 4:53leave me a voicemail at dailydevotionsforbusylives.com
- 4:57slash voicemail. I listen to every single one, and it would
- 5:00be an honor to bring your name before the Lord. Thanks for
- 5:03joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, Paul
- 5:07listed the sound mind among God's gifts, which means the
- 5:10wording's covered. Go say it this week, and don't wait until
- 5:13morning. Come back next time for more encouragement to help you
- 5:17live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a
- 5:20great day.