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Full Speed Ahead with Maddie Andrews - After Battle Breaking the Silence · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

0:01
This entire military is 1 cohesive dedicated force and the
0:07
threats to our nations, they don't sleep.
0:10
They're watching our every move. Iran, Russia, China, North
0:16
Korea, ISIS, Al Qaeda, they may be watching this right now.
0:23
Our military should not be mistaken for our cable news gap
0:26
test show. We don't care what you look
0:29
like. You don't care who you voted
0:31
for, who you worship, what you worship.
0:34
Who you love? It doesn't matter if your dad
0:37
left you millions when he died or if you knew who your father
0:40
was. We have been honed into a
0:43
machine of lethal moving parts that you would be wise to avoid
0:48
if you know what's good for you. We will not be intimidated.
0:52
We will not back down. We don't want.
0:57
War. But if you want war with the
1:00
United States of America, there's one thing I can promise
1:02
you. So help me God, someone else
1:05
will raise your sons and daughters.
1:13
Opinions expressed in this program are those of the
1:16
speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions
1:21
of any entities they represent. Find us on the web at NB.
1:26
Let's face it, life after service ain't always easy.
1:35
Far too many veterans continue to struggle in silence.
1:46
But you don't have to fight this battle alone because we are here
1:49
to help. This ain't no group therapy.
1:56
It's the after party to the battle.
1:58
Full speed ahead after battle. Real thoughts, real story, no
2:02
BS. Good Monday shit mates.
2:07
It is September 22nd and we are here again with full speed ahead
2:12
after battle. As always, I am your host, Josh
2:15
McCabe. Today is Monday, September 22nd.
2:19
And what does that mean for all of my brothers and sisters out
2:22
there? That means today is battle buddy
2:25
check day. All right?
2:26
This is the day they call it a day.
2:29
It should be every day, right? Today is the day that you need
2:32
to call in, text in, write in, do whatever you want to do,
2:37
Snapchat in, talk to all your people.
2:39
Make sure they're still hanging in there.
2:41
OK? I got a message this morning
2:43
from a fellow VFW comrade checking on me and my family
2:46
want to make sure we're doing good.
2:48
And I tell you what, with everything going on lately, that
2:50
was it was a blessing for me because it's been a rough time
2:55
lately and I hardly know this guy.
2:58
But he still took the time to check in and see how I'm doing,
3:01
see if there's anything I needed.
3:03
Not only that, but my family as well.
3:06
And so I carried that forward. I checked on a couple of other
3:09
people. I put some posts out there on
3:11
social media calling for everybody to check in on
3:14
everybody, OK. Because if we don't know it, the
3:18
other reason for Bottle Buddy Check Day today on the 22nd is
3:22
because if you don't already know this, 22 veterans commit
3:24
suicide every single day. That means within the span of
3:28
this one hour show, it is more than likely that one veteran
3:31
will commit suicide during the show.
3:34
I'm here to try and stop that 22.
3:37
I'm here to try to end veteran suicide, but I can't do it
3:41
alone. I've got to have everybody's
3:43
help. There are so many different
3:45
groups out there right now, whether it's Army, Marines,
3:48
Navy, VFW, American Legion, everybody that's out there is
3:52
putting on the same battle, but it's still going on.
3:56
So the more we talk about this, the more we have shows like
3:59
this, the more groups out there about this, talking about this.
4:03
Hopefully it stops before too long.
4:06
But until then, I'm going to keep carrying on the show.
4:09
I'm going to have so many guests on here that we're going to talk
4:13
about everything from that. That transition from the service
4:17
to the civilian life, because that's probably the number one
4:20
indicator in veteran suicide is that transition.
4:23
It's hard to go from a life of service and knowing what to do
4:27
all day every day, being told what to do all day every day
4:31
into a life where it's all about you.
4:34
You're making your decisions. You're able to call in sick to
4:38
work. If you want to call in sick to
4:39
work. You can decide what you want to
4:42
wear. And I know that that sounds
4:44
funny, but for veterans that come from a life of what we do,
4:48
coming into that and having all those choices, it is.
4:52
It's hard and it's not easy to do.
4:55
And so that's what I'm here for that transition.
4:57
We're going to talk about suicide awareness.
5:00
A lot of people still think there's a stigma around there
5:02
because they don't want to talk about that, right?
5:04
We get labeled with suicide. Like I thought about it or maybe
5:07
I contemplated it or I tried it, or let's not even talk about it
5:11
because that's a touchy situation, right?
5:14
People don't want to talk about it along with the mental health
5:16
awareness. We're getting better as a
5:18
society is better in groups. We're getting better about it,
5:21
especially in this new age of veterans coming through.
5:25
They are talking about it, they are getting that word out there
5:28
and hopefully with all of that help, it works.
5:34
So not only am I doing the show, but I figured today on September
5:38
22nd, Battle Buddy Check Day was a good time to announce this
5:42
event that I have been working on.
5:44
So if you're not already aware, I am a member of the VFW here in
5:48
North Texas, District 21. I'm the suicide awareness chair
5:52
for District 21. I have put together an event
5:55
that is going to be hosted at the end of April 2026.
5:59
That's next year, the last Saturday of that April, and it
6:02
is the battle buddy throw down. It is the cornhole tournament
6:06
for the winning team is going to get the Commanders Cup.
6:10
You're going to get bragging rights, you're going to get
6:11
prizes, and all of this money raised is going to go towards
6:15
suicide awareness and mental health awareness.
6:18
All these proceeds are going to go to a good group, some guys
6:23
that I know that I've been involved with lately, the
6:25
irreverent Warriors. So we're going to raise funds,
6:28
we're going to raise money. We'll start pushing that out the
6:31
beginning of the year, but I just want to get that out there,
6:34
get that on everybody's calendars.
6:35
The Battle Buddy Throwdown sponsored by District 21, it's
6:39
going to be hosted at Post 8235 here in North Texas.
6:43
They are central to our location, to the District 21
6:48
location. So that's why we're going to
6:50
have it there. So without further ado, I've got
6:54
a guest on today and I know that this is a show about veterans.
6:58
She's not a veteran herself. However, Coast Guards aren't
7:02
veterans either, right? So why not have a bunch of other
7:05
people on? I'm kidding, I'm kidding you
7:09
Coast Guard guys, y'all definitely put in the fight when
7:11
it comes to storms and drug interdictions, all kinds of
7:15
thing. That's part of this show, right?
7:17
The fun, the camaraderie. Let's jump back and forth.
7:20
Have a good time. Anyway, Maddie Andrews, She has
7:24
been dealing with mental illness her entire life to a point where
7:29
it almost consumed her life and she almost did not make it out
7:33
alive. And she has turned that into a
7:37
success story. She's created a support group,
7:40
she's working on her master's in social work, and she was
7:43
actually a she is the civilian partner of a visitor we had a
7:48
couple weeks ago, Rita Honeycutt.
7:50
So Rita was the veteran part of the group that she's in.
7:54
Maddie is a civilian side, so we'll get a little bit more into
7:56
that. But ready or not, here we are
8:00
for our interview of the week. The interview of the week is
8:06
brought to you by Jersey Mike's, a sub above.
8:15
All right, Maddie, welcome to Full Speed Ahead.
8:17
How are you doing? I'm great.
8:19
Thank you so much for having me on.
8:22
Good. I'm glad you're here.
8:25
You have an amazing story to share and I'm glad that I have
8:29
you on the show today. So why don't we start with you
8:34
kind of introducing yourself to the viewers and telling them who
8:37
you are? My name is Maddie and I want to
8:41
first start off by saying thank you to all of you for your
8:43
service. It's I don't have the words to
8:46
thank you enough today. I am a peer support specialist.
8:51
I am a master's in social work student.
8:55
I am a nonprofit founder. I also work full time.
8:59
In a past life, I was a teacher, but I think my most important
9:03
mission is being a mental health advocate.
9:06
I do live with serious mental illness.
9:08
I have my entire life and that's why I help other people.
9:15
That's great. I know we're going to get more
9:17
into the story, but thank you again, Maddie, for coming onto
9:21
the show. So you, I actually booked you on
9:25
the show 1st and they're like, hey, I know this lady, she's the
9:28
veteran counterpart, Rita Honeycutt, and she was on the
9:31
show a couple of weeks ago. So how do you 2 fit together?
9:35
How do you all know each other? Rita is fabulous.
9:38
We both sit on our local mental health collaborative board in
9:41
our area. She was planning a suicide
9:45
prevention summit. And I said hey.
9:47
Adam, I'd like to speak as well. And we got to know each other
9:51
through working together on the collaborative and at the event.
9:55
And now we're planning future events together and she's a
9:58
fabulous resource in the community.
10:02
That's amazing. I'm sure you know between you on
10:05
the civilian side and her on the veteran side, y'all got the
10:07
whole collective together. So I know y'all are out there
10:10
reaching all kinds of people putting out that good
10:13
information and definitely some good stuff.
10:16
So all right, well let me ask you today, since today is the
10:21
22nd battle Check day, how are you doing today Manny?
10:24
Like, how are you physically, mentally, emotionally doing
10:28
today? I am good, I am tired, it is my
10:33
bedtime to be really honest. Mentally I'm great.
10:37
I had therapy today so that was a plus so thank you.
10:40
How are you doing? I'm doing good again.
10:45
I'm tired as well. Had a head injury back in June
10:50
so I just been kind of dealing with some stuff like that.
10:53
Finally saw a neurologist on Friday got some other medication
10:56
to kind of help out with that which the order we're slowly
11:00
getting there. You know, it's a lot of pain for
11:02
a lot of months, but I'm getting better it's I'm doing better.
11:06
Thank you Progress the. Reperfection, right?
11:09
I know it. It's not.
11:11
It's not a sprinter, right? Mental health is a marathon.
11:15
It's not something that you're going to accomplish overnight.
11:18
It's going to take work. It takes dedication.
11:20
It takes a whole village to get this done right.
11:23
Can't do it on your own, so why don't we?
11:28
I mean, so I read over your story and I am amazed that you
11:33
are still here. 1 So thank you for still being here.
11:38
Two, I have to give your husband some thanks because I'm sure
11:44
he's just like my wife. I if it wasn't for my wife, I
11:47
wouldn't be here. Still know what I'm doing.
11:50
And so it's definitely that support system that carries us
11:54
through because without that support system, and we're on our
11:56
own 100% of the time, we're probably not going to be here,
12:00
right? So let, let's let's take you
12:03
back. You started at a young age with,
12:06
with your mental illness. Let's just go ahead and see that
12:12
mental illness. So let's get into that.
12:15
So when I was 4, before I was four, it was pretty, you know,
12:18
whatever typical you want to say typical.
12:22
When I was 4, I had a super traumatic experience happened to
12:25
me and I actually developed PTSD at four years old, but my
12:30
parents were unaware. And then in middle school I
12:33
started developing serious mental illness.
12:36
Not to say PTSD isn't serious, but this is just labeled that
12:39
way. It's I was developing
12:43
schizophrenia and bipolar symptoms.
12:45
So I had psychosis, mania, depression, but I didn't tell
12:52
anybody because when you're in middle school, you think
12:55
everybody's the same, I guess. Everybody else hears voices,
12:58
everybody else gets Moody, everybody else.
13:00
So I didn't say anything until I was 19 years old.
13:05
And at that point, the only reason I said anything at all is
13:09
because I wanted to end my life. I knew I felt bad.
13:15
I knew something was wrong. At that point in my life, I had
13:18
been forced to drop out of college and I said, what do I,
13:22
what do I have left for me? And my mom took me to a hospital
13:28
and they diagnosed me at that time with bipolar one disorder.
13:32
And the first thing they did was meds, meds, meds, meds, meds.
13:37
And when I was in the hospital, I was there for a week.
13:40
And these symptoms for these antipsychotic medications are
13:43
pretty intense. I couldn't put my pants on a
13:46
week after being in the hospital because of the way it bloomed.
13:49
Suddenly I couldn't see. I started losing my hair.
13:53
All of these exacerbated symptoms, but it wasn't fixing
13:59
the problem. So I spent my 20s really going
14:02
through the motions, hospitalization after
14:04
hospitalization. I ended up in drug treatment.
14:06
One time when I was 21, I was living in what I call survival
14:11
mode, so I worked. I ended up getting back in
14:15
school, but I put anything into my job and that was my sole
14:21
coping skill. So when I got home, I had
14:24
nothing left to give and nothing to rely on.
14:27
So I would work, come home and all the pieces.
14:33
And then in 2022 or I was so suicidal that I decided that it
14:38
was my life or the job and I resigned.
14:42
And initially I felt relief. OK, the weight is off my
14:45
shoulders, I can live again. But the problem was that was my
14:50
sole coping skill. So I woke up the next day and I
14:53
said OK, now I have no identity, what day am I?
14:58
And I made the plan and I wrote the note and I took action.
15:02
My husband did intervene and it was a dark time and I ended up
15:09
getting another job. And I was so psychotic at the
15:13
time that I really wasn't talking to people.
15:16
Because when you live with psychosis, you can hear voices,
15:18
you can see things, you may have delusions and paranoia.
15:23
So it's very difficult to exist in the world.
15:26
My diagnosis now and at that time is what's called
15:30
schizoaffective bipolar type, which means I live with symptoms
15:33
of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
15:36
And in 2023, I was still going through the motions and my
15:42
doctor called. At this point, I was on 10 to 15
15:46
mental health meds at a pretty high level.
15:49
And she said there's a new drug. And I was like, whatever, it was
15:52
one more. But the difference was this drug
15:56
doesn't block all my dopamine. So I started processing
15:59
emotions. So in 2019, my mom died by
16:02
suicide, but I couldn't cry. I was so numb and all of a
16:07
sudden I was crying, I was laughing, I was angry, I was
16:10
happy and I began to feel motivated.
16:12
I started doing more around the house and I did so well and my
16:16
doctor said OK, let's redo some of these other medications.
16:20
But for. Me you have to treat.
16:22
Mania, depression and psychosis. Well, she took me off my mania
16:25
medication and I got really sick.
16:28
So sick that I had to go out of work and my husband has to go
16:32
out of work and he had to take care of me full time.
16:36
And when I wasn't getting better, they upped a medication
16:38
called lithium, which is a heavy metal used to treat bipolar
16:41
disorder, which was it's a good drug.
16:44
It was effective for me for 20 years.
16:47
But the problem was she gave me too much and didn't obtain blood
16:50
work and I went toxic. But nobody knew so quickly.
16:54
I couldn't walk, talk, use a cell phone.
16:56
I was in diapers, I couldn't swallow.
16:59
And nobody knew what was going on.
17:01
And one day, about two or three weeks after living like this, I
17:06
got enough strength to try to utter the words, take me to the
17:09
hospital. And my husband took me to the
17:12
mental hospital and they said, whoa, this is out of our scope,
17:17
there is something bigger going on here.
17:19
And they rushed me to the ER. And I was really only seeing
17:22
life in the form of hallucinations at this time.
17:26
But I do recall them looking me in my face, 'cause I wasn't
17:29
being compliant. And they said if you do not
17:33
comply, you are going to die. It was I was dying from the
17:37
lithium. And the first course of action
17:40
was fluids. That's what you do when you have
17:42
poison, when you're poisoned. So they were flushing this mass,
17:45
amounts of fluids into me. But when you're getting fluid
17:50
after fluid after fluid, your heart will enlarge.
17:52
And my heart, it did enlarge and it started to fail.
17:55
And when your heart's. Enlarged and failing and it
17:57
continued the fluids it pumps into your lungs.
18:00
So the bottom half of both of my lungs collapsed, but the lithium
18:03
wasn't gone. So I ended up with two rounds of
18:06
dialysis to clear my system. But the problem now was I wasn't
18:11
responsive still. So they did an EEG, which showed
18:14
very little brain activity, and they were discussing A dialysis
18:18
called silent syndrome, which means I would get worse and
18:21
never recover. My husband was grieving, my
18:24
family was grieving. I was out of it until the last
18:28
day of the ICU. I was there for two weeks and
18:31
they were getting ready to transfer me to the mental
18:33
hospital because they had done all they could do there.
18:36
And I woke up. I woke up and I thought I was on
18:39
a spaceship and I had no short term memory and I have amnesia,
18:44
so I had no idea what had happened to me.
18:47
But I tried to walk, I tried to talk, I tried to eat, I wasn't
18:51
eating. I tried to do all these things
18:54
and this is where my recovery journey really began.
18:58
Wow, that's that. I can't believe that you started
19:02
at such a young age with all of that and that you're still here
19:06
after all of that. And you know, I will say that
19:09
that story, I know it sounds, it sounds a lot.
19:15
There are a lot of veterans going through the same thing
19:17
with the VA. The VA is putting them on
19:19
medication after medication, after pill after pill.
19:23
And it's not it. At some point it doesn't help
19:27
them. It destroys the body more than
19:28
that helps them. And to the point that there are
19:31
veterans going to the VA saying I'm having all these issues, I'm
19:35
going to commit suicide if you don't help me.
19:38
And they say, no, you're not messed up enough.
19:42
And then they commit suicide right there in the waiting room.
19:45
So I'm glad that you found an Ave. that they actually help you
19:48
out. You know, I'll say I'm not a big
19:52
fan of the VAI. Would rather spend my money to
19:55
go to private doctors or private whatever and seek help
19:59
elsewhere. Just because I literally had a
20:03
doctor this morning say, I don't know why they put you on this
20:06
medication, because that's for something else that you don't
20:08
have. And here we are.
20:10
That's the VA telling you that. So it it's amazing that you
20:14
know, with all the medication, everything you've experienced,
20:17
that you're still here. I'm happy that you're still
20:19
here. You have such a huge story to
20:22
tell a lot of people. And for those people that are
20:24
listening to, just listen to Maddie's story.
20:26
The next time you think I can't go to work because I have a
20:29
headache, rethink that story because you absolutely can't go
20:32
to work. And I don't want to hear that
20:34
excuse anymore, right? A lot of us have that.
20:37
So I tell you what, that's a lot to digest.
20:40
So let's take a quick break real quick.
20:42
We're going to bring up a quick show and we'll let y'all digest
20:46
that. And when we come back, we're
20:48
going to start. We're going to talk about the
20:50
support system that Maddie had a little bit more.
20:52
They got her three things. All right, we'll be right back
20:55
after a few moments. I'm about as far as I'm going.
21:07
Welcome home. I'm sure your family and all
21:10
your friends are going to be glad to see you.
21:12
Thank you, Sir. The station where our veterans
25:28
voices are heard. MBR talk.
25:31
Hey, thanks for supporting our channel by watching and
25:34
listening. Find us on the web at NB radio
25:37
dot. All right, welcome back
25:41
everyone. If you just now tuning in, I am
25:43
your host Josh McCabe on the full Speed Ahead After Battle
25:47
show. Today we have our special guest,
25:49
Maddie Andrews. We just listened to her amazing
25:53
story of living with mental illness and all that and Tails
25:56
since she was a young child. Before we get back into it, let
26:00
me just remind you that you can follow this show and all the NBR
26:03
shows on all the links above this page.
26:06
You can follow me on my full speed ahead page.
26:10
You can follow me on Instagram, Josh McCabe 817.
26:14
You can also find the show afterwards.
26:16
I'll have it on YouTube, Pod Bean and Spotify under the MBR
26:20
talk rewind. So let's get back into the story
26:24
with Maddie. Maddie, welcome back.
26:27
So let's talk and we, I mentioned this earlier, your
26:30
husband, my wife support systems are you have to have them right?
26:36
How important was that support system to you?
26:39
I would not be the person I am today without a community.
26:45
You know, My husband didn't know what was happening to me.
26:49
He was not educated in mental health, and it almost broke our
26:53
marriage, but we stuck by each other and we educated ourselves.
26:57
But it wasn't, you know, just him.
26:59
I have his family, I have my friends.
27:02
I had my job, and I was vocal about what was happening with me
27:06
when I was younger. I was not.
27:08
And I didn't lean on a support system.
27:11
And it really backfired for me to.
27:14
The most important part of my recovery today is having a
27:17
community of supportive people. Absolutely, I think that, you
27:23
know, support is 100% the thing to have.
27:26
And even though we talked about whether it's it's veterans or
27:29
civilian suicide or mental health awareness, it's not just
27:33
those individuals that need to educate themselves on, on the
27:36
signs or the things that to look out for, but it's their their
27:41
family, their friends, businesses need to be on the
27:44
lookout for those Co workers. I think, you know, I, I don't
27:49
want to make light of mental illness at all, but it is
27:54
becoming more and more prevalent in today's society.
27:57
Everybody is going to doctors more.
27:59
Everybody's getting diagnosed with whatever it may be.
28:02
And there's nothing wrong with that.
28:04
But I think that with diagnosing all this, we need to have all
28:09
that education out there. And that education can come in
28:13
forms of don't Google it because you're going to go down the
28:17
rabbit hole trying to Google stuff, you're going to self
28:19
diagnose and that's always a bad thing.
28:22
But you can also find education in support groups.
28:26
There's a lot of different support groups out there.
28:28
And Maddie, you created a your own support group along with
28:33
Rita, right? J&E?
28:34
So why don't you tell us about that?
28:37
Right. So I created J&E Support Group.
28:40
Rita is a great community partner through Veteran Services
28:44
for that. J&E support group is a non
28:47
profit and one of our initiatives is free, 100% free
28:52
community support. I'm a big believer that mental
28:55
health care needs to be outputable, accessible and
28:57
affordable. So we offer three support groups
29:01
to our community. One is virtual.
29:04
Our virtual support group is for anyone living with or affected
29:08
by schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia or bipolar
29:13
disorder. Our two in person groups are in
29:16
Randolph County and they offer mental health umbrella groups.
29:20
Anyone living with or affected by any type of mental health
29:23
need. And that while they are not
29:25
therapy, they are a safe, confidential place to find a
29:29
community of like minded people where you can learn and grow
29:33
together and lean on each other in hard times.
29:37
Wow, that sounds like a great group.
29:39
So is that just online or is that in person or?
29:42
Our online group is for the the schizophactic schizophrenia,
29:46
bipolar disorder and our two, we have two in person groups, one
29:50
in Asheboro, NC and one in Liberty, NC that are for any
29:54
mental health diagnosis at all. And we even have participants
29:58
who maybe don't have a mental health diagnosis.
30:00
They just want to find community and we welcome that as well.
30:05
OK. And so you're not just somebody
30:07
that kind of threw together a support group and then said,
30:10
hey, people, let's do this, right?
30:12
You actually went you're you went to school, you got a
30:15
degree, you're still going to school for a master's.
30:18
So you're you're all in on this. You're, you're full speed ahead
30:21
on J&E, right? I am.
30:24
So I've been a participant in quite a few support groups
30:27
myself for my own mental illness.
30:30
And you know, schizoaffective is not discussed a lot.
30:33
That's my diagnosis and I wanted to.
30:37
So I didn't want anybody else to feel the way I felt.
30:40
I felt very alone for most of my life because I didn't know a
30:43
single soul like me. So what was the initial idea
30:46
with J&E was to create a group for people like me.
30:50
But when it did. Well, and I was able to.
30:51
Create that community and I saw how helpful it was.
30:54
I said why can't I recreate this in person for other groups of
30:58
people in my community And I am in school getting my master's in
31:04
social work. The original idea with that was
31:06
grant based therapy because all my services with J&E are 100%
31:10
free and I wanted to do that with therapy as well.
31:13
But what I've learned along the way is that my experiences and
31:16
my voice is going to be very beneficial in the field of
31:19
advocacy and possibly policy change.
31:23
You know, being a voice for people who don't quite have a
31:25
voice yet or don't know where to share their voice.
31:30
OK, so let's go back to advocacy real quick because as a member
31:35
of the VFW, you know one of the we advocate a lot for veterans,
31:38
right? And a lot of what is going on
31:41
right now, especially in Texas is alternative medicine.
31:45
And when I say alternative medicine, we're talking about
31:47
different THC products. So what sort of advocacy are you
31:52
working on as far as mental health or or any of the J&E
31:57
support? I think the biggest thing I'm
32:00
doing at this point is opening the conversation.
32:04
You know, I do live with significant mental health needs,
32:07
but if you saw me in the community, you would never know.
32:10
And I am transparent. I am very open and I do it so
32:13
that people can break down the stereotypes.
32:17
Rita and I are working together to create a community event.
32:22
It's a mental health simulation. So you'll come and you'll be
32:25
given a portfolio. Read us writing the veteran
32:28
portfolio. I'm writing the schizophrenia
32:30
portfolio. We have other community partners
32:32
as well. So you'll be given like a
32:34
history, a diagnosis, you have insurance, the whole 9 yards.
32:38
And there's tables set up around the room.
32:40
Maybe it's your job, maybe it's the VA, maybe it's a doctor, and
32:45
you have to navigate life living with that mental illness.
32:48
And we're doing it to breakdown stereotypes and breakdown
32:51
barriers. And then we're going to follow
32:53
up with trainings such as Rita with Mental Health First Aid so
32:57
that we can educate our community.
32:59
Our community is a mental health desert.
33:02
We do not have a lot of providers and we have a very
33:04
high level of stigma. So we're hopeful if we can break
33:08
down some of the stigma, we can invite providers to the area as
33:12
well as invite people to use these resources.
33:15
Stigma prevents a lot of people from getting the help they need.
33:20
It absolutely does. And you know, that's one of the
33:23
biggest things I, I continue to fight as far as, you know, being
33:28
when I got out, I tried to go to college, I got an associate's
33:30
degree. Hardest thing I ever did was
33:33
eight years Navy, then going back to school with a bunch of
33:35
high school kids and also trying to join the workforce as
33:40
somebody that's been out there and seen a lot of things that
33:43
stigma that all veterans are hard charging.
33:46
All veterans have PTSD. All veterans are not very
33:51
friendly and grumpy. Well, some of us, yes, we, we
33:54
are grumpy. We have PTSD, but that doesn't
33:57
define us. You know, we still wake up every
33:59
day. I think, you know, the ways I
34:02
try to break that stigma is like you said, have those open
34:06
conversations. And you know, I, I've put on, I
34:09
created a veterans group at work, a business resource group.
34:13
And we have a lot of discussions around those stigmas and what
34:17
can our business do to kind of help our veterans with, with
34:22
those different issues. But also how can we with these
34:27
disabilities support the business?
34:29
Because you know, we see things differently that maybe the
34:32
business never saw it. And we can help you out in a
34:35
different way, whether it's leadership or some of the other
34:38
skills. So let me let me kind of
34:41
backtrack a little bit 'cause I, I kind of went off track there.
34:44
But you said you have schizo. Sorry, what was it?
34:50
It's. Called schizoaffective bipolar
34:53
type, it means I live with symptoms of both schizophrenia
34:56
and bipolar disorder and I also have PCSD, general and
35:01
generalized anxiety along with that.
35:04
OK, so let's try and break down that stigma then what?
35:08
What is the schizo in the bipolar?
35:12
How does that affect Maddie? When I am very stressed or
35:18
unmedicated, I can have psychosis, mania or depression.
35:22
And what psychosis looks like for me is different for
35:25
everybody, right? But for me, I have auditory of
35:29
hallucination, so I hear things that aren't real, I might see
35:33
things that aren't real. And for me personally, those
35:36
things are very scary and anxiety provoking.
35:39
And mania means that I'm very elevated.
35:45
I might talk fast, I might not sleep, I might not eat.
35:49
And somebody in mania might feel happy, excited about this.
35:53
But it's very dangerous because you're impulse control when
35:56
you're manic is slim to none. So people make very rash
36:00
decisions such as spending their life savings, having an affair
36:04
on their partner of 30 years, things they would not normally
36:07
do because that impulse control is just not working in their
36:11
brain. And then depression, you're
36:14
through very low lows. That's when we see a lot of
36:17
suicide radiations and self harming.
36:20
Right. And they all interplay with me.
36:24
So when I'm stressed today, I'm in recovery.
36:27
So my symptoms don't happen every day.
36:30
But recovery is not a linear process, right?
36:32
And stress is a trigger for me. No, sleep is a trigger for me.
36:35
And I'm a very, very busy person with a lot of stress and very
36:38
little sleep. So sometimes I might get
36:41
triggered with that psychosis. And for me today, what that
36:44
looks like is I might have a paranoid thought or a delusion.
36:48
So I may think the world is out to get me, or a group of people
36:52
hate me, or I'm a bad person, or I'm being stalked or my phone is
36:58
tapped, you know, things that are out of the norm.
37:03
But I have to preface all this by saying just because someone
37:07
is in psychosis does not mean they're a dangerous person.
37:10
I've never harmed anybody. I know a lot of times in the
37:13
media people hear words like schizophrenia and they're afraid
37:17
of those people. It's a very tabby word.
37:20
The people living with schizophrenia are more likely to
37:22
harm themselves than anyone else.
37:25
Yeah, I'm glad that you said that, you know, because it kind
37:29
of similar with the PTSD and veterans and everything.
37:31
It's, you know, we're we're more worried about ourselves than the
37:36
other people, right? I'm here to protect me and my
37:39
family. So, you know, when I go to the
37:43
right now with everything going on, my wife won't let me go to
37:46
the grocery store because I'm sitting there watching every
37:49
single person around me. What do they have in today's
37:53
age, you don't know who has what and is going to do what.
37:56
So, you know, similar to what you said, you're always thinking
37:59
people are out to get you. When they tell veterans we're
38:03
hyper vigilant and that's their nice word of putting it on.
38:07
I'm worried about everybody else out there.
38:10
And so, you know, it takes me back to some training that they
38:14
have it at different jobs. And when it comes to like active
38:17
shooter or things like that, they're like, OK, this is what
38:20
we're going to do in this situation.
38:22
We're going to run, we're going to hide.
38:25
And then if we have to, we'll try and fight.
38:28
I'm sorry, that's not the way my brain is going to work.
38:31
I'm fighting then I'm not going to do anything because either
38:35
it's over or I'm not going to be here to worry about it anymore.
38:38
So, you know, it, it sounds I, I don't want to downplay it at
38:42
all, but you know, a lot of what you have, it sounds like similar
38:46
to a lot of veterans, they just put different words on it.
38:50
And maybe that's something I need to look more into or maybe,
38:54
you know, I need to better educate myself because yeah,
38:57
it's just a lot of different names for the same state, same
39:01
thing. So if you're going out to a
39:03
business and what would you tell businesses or or companies that
39:09
have employees that are are dealing with these kinds of
39:12
things to break that stigma? What would you tell them Either
39:16
hey lookout for these signs or how can you best help them so
39:20
that they are a valuable employee?
39:24
I encourage all agencies to get mental health first aid
39:26
training. I think getting the educated
39:29
training is very important and my piece of that is educating
39:33
them. You probably have more people
39:35
living or working there with mental illness than you know,
39:38
because of stigma. Most people closet this
39:40
information. I did for many years, and it was
39:43
detrimental to my mental health to do so.
39:45
So when somebody feels safe enough to come to you and
39:48
disclose this information, meet them with kindness.
39:52
Do not judge them, because that's a brave thing to do.
39:55
And you know, I'm a good employee.
39:58
I work very hard. It just so happens that I might
40:00
need accommodations here and there.
40:03
So if you have a good employee, why wouldn't you accommodate
40:06
them when they're asking for something so small just to make
40:09
their day more productive? I think it's all about meeting
40:13
people with kindness and no judgement.
40:17
Absolutely. I think you hit the nail on the
40:19
head with the kindness and judgement.
40:21
And you know, I was recently talking to a group of veterans
40:25
and I was telling them about my plans for the suicide awareness
40:30
as far as our district here in North Texas.
40:32
And one guy pulled me aside. He's a Vietnam veteran.
40:36
And he said I've been around the VFW, He's talking from him.
40:40
He's been around the VFW for a long time and I am the first one
40:44
that is kind of stepped up in this area and said I'm going to
40:48
take this on and I'm going to actually put work in instead of
40:52
putting that name, that that tag behind my name.
40:55
And so he shared a story with me that he has never told any other
41:00
VFW member in that after Vietnam, he did try to commit
41:04
suicide. He shot himself in the chest.
41:07
It barely missed his heart. And he's still here, and he's
41:09
never thought about it afterwards.
41:11
But like you just said, when you're free enough or open
41:15
enough to have that conversation and you're not shying away from
41:19
the stigma of we're not going to talk about suicide, we're not
41:23
going to talk about mental health, people will open up to
41:26
you and, and come forward and talk with you.
41:29
And, you know, that's the good thing about J&E support group.
41:32
That's a good thing about all the other support groups is
41:36
there's people there that will talk to you and won't judge you.
41:39
And even, you know, the youngest guy or the oldest guy, you know,
41:43
that's been through the stuff, they'll open up.
41:46
And so that's kind of the conversations that we need to
41:49
have more often so that those people feel, you know, more
41:54
vulnerable, more willing to open up.
41:56
So yes, I think that's great advice to the employee.
42:00
You know, I experienced that at my same job.
42:02
It's, you know, there's a lot of people doing great work.
42:06
You can bend a little bit to help them out, right, to keep
42:09
the business going. So it's not that hard covered
42:12
under the insurance or, you know, maybe bring somebody in
42:15
and do a lunch and learn right on mental health or something.
42:18
So all right, we're going to take another quick break.
42:22
I've got to go get a refill on my water.
42:25
So thirsty today, but we'll be right back after these quick
42:30
messages, OK? All righty.
45:36
The station where our veterans voices are heard.
45:40
MBR talk. Hey, thanks for supporting our
45:42
channel by watching and listening.
45:45
Find us on the web at NB radio dot.
45:49
Web. All right, welcome back to Full
45:51
Speed Ahead after Battle. I am your host again, Josh
45:54
McCabe again, it's September 22nd.
45:57
I haven't seen y'all checking in yet on the comments, so go down
46:01
below check in, make sure your battle buddies, your friends,
46:04
your family, your loved ones, make sure everybody's OK.
46:08
Don't just say are you OK and leave it at that.
46:11
Ask them seriously, are you OK? Because you never know when it's
46:15
when it's too late. So with that, we mentioned
46:19
family. I'm going to bring Maddie back
46:21
on. Maddie, welcome back.
46:24
Let's go back to kind of the support group, right?
46:28
Let's talk about people dealing with mental illness and their
46:32
families and and how things like that go.
46:35
And I'll privacy with this, you know, both of my parents were
46:39
were veterans as well. My mom only did a couple years
46:42
before she got out and and had a great birth to gave birth to a
46:47
legend. I'm just saying maybe me, I'm
46:51
the favorite of the family. I'll tell everybody that right
46:53
now, and it's not a joke. I really am.
46:55
However, on the flip side, my dad had served about 30 years in
47:00
the military before he retired. We talk a lot, however, we come
47:04
from that old school family of we don't talk about feelings, we
47:09
just kind of push them down and see, you know, don't talk about
47:12
that. However, recently as he's
47:15
retired, I've tried to open up a little bit more with them
47:17
because I feel like he kind of goes through the same things.
47:21
And not only that, but his brother, who was also a veteran
47:25
in the Navy, actually committed suicide about a year or so ago
47:30
on right after Thanksgiving. And so lot of veterans, veterans
47:35
of my family don't talk about feelings.
47:39
Something happens, comes out of nowhere.
47:41
So Maddie, let's talk about you and your mom.
47:45
Y'all had a relationship and I'll leave it at that and tell
47:50
us about tell us about that. My parents have to preface the
47:56
best parents. Super supportive.
47:59
Great people. Everybody has their flaws.
48:02
They did open the conversation when I did reach out for help.
48:05
They tried their best. They did a really good job of
48:10
getting me services. But when it came to my mom's own
48:14
mental health, that was the struggle.
48:18
I have lost two family members to suicide, one being my mom.
48:23
She was physically and mentally unwell and I had a baseline of
48:27
understanding. When my father passed in 2012, I
48:30
was kind of her caretaker so I understood.
48:34
But I wish we had opened that conversation more about
48:38
resources for her. Like, I was trying my best, but
48:42
I didn't know what to do, and she wasn't receptive to allowing
48:46
me to talk to her doctors. So she ended up taking her own
48:50
life and I beat myself up for a really long time.
48:54
What could I have done differently?
48:56
And when she died, I felt like I couldn't be angry.
49:00
I couldn't be sad because she wasn't in pain.
49:03
That was what I kept telling myself.
49:06
But really, when someone dies by suicide, it's really painful for
49:09
you too. And it took.
49:11
Me six years to process that. It took me 6 years to say, Oh my
49:15
gosh, I'm mad at her. I'm sad.
49:18
Like I have these extravagant emotions about this and it hit
49:22
me all of a sudden. So I wish that the conversation
49:25
was opened. And what we do with Jay and his
49:28
support group is we try to open those conversations.
49:31
When we have group members, we invite their families.
49:34
Let's help you facilitate these conversations about what's going
49:37
on with you. Let's facilitate talking about
49:40
our feelings because like you, a lot of people are not raised to
49:44
talk about feelings. My husband for one.
49:47
It was not a family with his father.
49:49
Where? They could openly and discuss
49:51
that type of thing and he processed his feelings and known
49:54
as anger. Everything he felt came out as
49:56
anger and we had to work together to really learn, OK,
50:00
you're not really angry, you're anxious or you're sad.
50:04
And this is how we can process that together.
50:08
Yeah, absolutely. And you know, my mom, she
50:11
actually reached out to me this morning.
50:13
She's, she went and saw the doctor with some things and, and
50:16
they're getting her into a counselor because I know, you
50:19
know, getting an age, she just lost her father.
50:22
She just lost her aunt who was like a mother to her.
50:25
She lost her mother a few years ago.
50:27
And obviously people, you know, they fall into that, that
50:31
depression now that, you know, your maternal, your fraternal,
50:35
everybody's gone and it's a struggle for them.
50:38
So I check in with her and her and I do have that conversation.
50:41
We'll check on each other's health and mental health and
50:44
we're OK with that. And I'm glad because, you know,
50:48
I, I can say, mom, are you OK? Right.
50:50
And she's going to be honest with me.
50:52
And so let me, let me ask you a question.
50:55
And I know it's kind of different for everybody.
50:57
When your mom was going through this before she committed
51:00
suicide, was she a happy person? Did like everybody is like she's
51:04
joking around, she's friendly, She's like no care in the world.
51:07
Or was she, did she act like she was down and depressed?
51:12
Because I know there's a difference and people need to be
51:14
aware of that too, that sometimes it's the happiest go
51:18
lucky people that are struggling the most.
51:22
That is very true. You know, when I tried to commit
51:24
suicide, nobody knew that I was having those feelings.
51:28
It was a shock when I opened up about that because I put on that
51:31
facade in public. So like you said, check on your
51:35
happy friends, too. But my mom had a lot of physical
51:39
ailments. She had just had her, I don't
51:41
know, 12/13/14 spinal fusion. She had arthritis all over her
51:46
body. She was mentally unwell and the
51:50
doctors were giving her copious amounts of narcotics to deal
51:53
with this. So she had a lot going against
51:56
her and I knew she was in pain. I knew she was suffering.
52:00
I didn't know she would take it that far.
52:02
She had just gotten out of surgery and was staying in an
52:06
assisted living to recover and I thought she was safe and she
52:11
wasn't and so it was a huge shock and the way they called me
52:17
and told me was terrible. It was an awful situation and so
52:22
don't ever assume anything about anyone I guess is the is the
52:27
main point there. Yeah.
52:30
And you know, going back to my, my uncle's story, he's always
52:36
hard working, right? He grew up in an era where my,
52:39
his dad was in the Navy, retired from the Navy.
52:41
They grew up in that strict military Catholic, Irish
52:45
Catholic family where he did not talk about feelings whatsoever
52:49
at all. Hard working, had three sons,
52:52
had a bunch of grandkids. He loved everybody, always took
52:55
care of his wife, always took care of the kids, always happy,
52:59
always willing to help everybody else, always willing to go out
53:02
of his way to do anything for anybody else.
53:05
They had Thanksgiving, They even went out and I think played
53:07
golf, him and the kids and my dad.
53:10
And a couple days later, they found him next to the pond with
53:14
a shotgun. And, you know, he shot himself
53:16
in the chest. And that's why I say it's, it's
53:21
not always those people that look depressed, right?
53:26
It's the that I think we need to check on the most because
53:31
they're trying to cover up that pain that's inside of them,
53:34
trying to make everybody else happy.
53:37
I don't know if This is why, but maybe because they're trying to
53:40
make sure everybody else is going to be OK knowing that I'm
53:43
about to be gone if I were to take life, right?
53:47
A lot of times people say. When people have a.
53:50
Plan and the date is approaching.
53:52
They become elated because they know it's they're going to be OK
53:56
soon in their eyes. So they may seem very upbeat,
54:00
very happy, but signs you can look for are they giving their
54:03
items away? Are they taking risky behaviors?
54:06
Things like that Are are key warning signs that they have
54:09
made a plan, are about to take action.
54:12
I think you hit it the the key signs, you know, giving away
54:16
stuff, super happy, no care in the world, just free living,
54:21
right? And that's what we really need
54:23
to watch out for. So we we just talked about
54:28
family and trying to open up more.
54:31
So is that incorporated into J&E at all?
54:34
You know, trying to have those conversations and education not
54:37
with just the members, but with the family.
54:40
Do y'all invite them out and have family sessions or how's
54:43
that? We invite all family members to
54:45
our groups, our online group. We have parents in there.
54:50
We invite all of our parents to come.
54:52
Only some do, especially with our people who are newly
54:57
diagnosed. That's a hard battle for
54:59
everyone involved. You know when you live, when you
55:03
get diagnosed with something like schizophrenia,
55:05
schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, that's typically happens after
55:09
18 years old. So it's a grieving process for
55:12
the entire family. So we want everyone to be
55:15
invited and included. Absolutely.
55:18
I think like again, you can't say enough.
55:21
It's the support system, it's the family around you.
55:23
If everybody is educated on what you're going through.
55:26
So let's say, let's say this, if my wife is just as educated as I
55:31
am about my issues and what I'm dealing with, that's the second
55:35
set of eyes watching out for me. And if I share that with my
55:39
friends, they all know exactly what I'm going through, what to
55:42
look for. They'll know when my attitude
55:45
changes. And they'll ask me.
55:46
My wife will ask me, are you OK? Is something wrong?
55:50
And I get tired of it sometimes, Right.
55:51
But I know deep down that she asked because she cares.
55:56
And that's what I think we all need to do, is don't just stop
55:59
at the. Are you OK?
56:01
Yeah. All right, Well, let's go about
56:02
our day. Sit down.
56:04
Ask them face to face without distractions.
56:07
Are you OK? And be transparent with your
56:10
support network. I wasn't and it almost took my
56:13
life. And today if I have any kind of
56:16
symptom, I am quick fashion and I need to get on that phone.
56:19
I'm going to call my husband, I'm going to call my
56:21
sister-in-law. I'm going to call my therapist
56:23
and my doctor and I'm going to alert them because these things
56:26
can't snowball. And it's about having those
56:30
honest conversations. You know, I know with the
56:32
stigma, sometimes we feel shame or guilt about what we're going
56:36
through, but there is no shame in any of this.
56:41
Absolutely. So there's that homework for
56:43
everybody checking in and just not listening or you're
56:45
following through the whole show.
56:47
Make you a phone treat, make you a check off list.
56:50
If you're ever to that point of you can't handle this anymore,
56:55
call those five people. And I guarantee you by the time
56:57
you get done with all five people, you're not going to want
56:59
to do that anymore because they're you're by then you're
57:02
going to realize that there are people out there that care about
57:05
you. There are people there for you
57:07
and willing to talk to you and they're going to be there to
57:10
support you. Maddie, it's been great talking
57:13
with you. I think you've opened up a lot
57:15
of eyes to a lot of different things.
57:18
I again commend you for still being here today to Share your
57:22
story and helping people out there.
57:25
I want to give you just a couple quick minutes to say what you
57:29
want to say, either about what you're going through or your
57:32
support group or your final message to the people.
57:38
Well, what I always like to say is that mental illness is not a
57:41
death sentence. We do recover and hope is alive.
57:45
You know, days might seem dark now, but just remember that your
57:48
life is important. Your life matters.
57:51
And if you need to hear that tomorrow, e-mail me 'cause I
57:54
sure will tell you my my e-mail address is on my website and I'm
57:59
happy to be a listening ear for anybody who needs it.
58:02
And also I also like to say kindness is free.
58:07
It takes us it's very little effort to give a smile, a kind
58:11
word, a random act of kindness, and for you it might be a
58:14
passing moment, but we truly never know what someone is going
58:17
through and it can be a life saving moment for somebody else.
58:22
Awesome, y'all heard her e-mail her the website jesupport.org
58:27
you can find her on there or one of the other helpers.
58:30
I know that I've talked to both these ladies.
58:33
They'll be happy to help you out, talk to you even if you
58:35
just need a kind word and you heard it from Maddie, kind
58:39
words, a smile will go a long way.
58:42
Maddie, I thank you again. I know I'll be talking to you in
58:45
the future. Stick around for a couple of
58:47
minutes, I'll catch up with you, but thanks so much for being on
58:49
the show today. Thank you for having me and
58:52
thank you for everybody who listened.
58:57
All right y'all, you heard it here today full speed ahead
59:00
after battle we had Maddie Andrews from J&E Support Group.
59:03
She is the founder there. Not only is she a founder of a
59:06
support group that helps a lot of people with mental illness,
59:09
she is a person living with severe mental illness and she is
59:13
open about it. And I think that's the message
59:16
for today is we need to be open about this topic.
59:20
Suicide, mental illness is not something that we need to be
59:24
shying away from. This is something that needs to
59:27
be on the forefront of discussions, especially when it
59:31
comes to helping our veterans. Again, it's September 22nd.
59:35
I need all my battle buddies to check in by the end of the day.
59:38
Find me on my page, Joshua McCabe or you can find me on the
59:42
Full Speed Ahead web page, YouTube.
59:45
Find me on Josh McCabe 817 Instagram, one of the other
59:50
pages, text me, e-mail me, whatever you got to do, check in
59:53
so that I know you're still there.
59:55
You see, I'm here and that's going to be the end of the show
59:58
today. And don't forget, you're not in
1:00:00
the fight alone. Reach out now.
1:00:05
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in to Military
1:00:10
Broadcast Radio. As we wrap up today's show, we
1:00:14
want to remind you that the podcast of today's episode will
1:00:18
be available right after we go off the air.
1:00:21
So if you missed any part of the show or want to listen again, be
1:00:27
sure to check it out. And remember, we're here to
1:00:31
support and honor our veterans. Your stories and experiences
1:00:37
matter, and we are committed to giving you a platform to share
1:00:41
them. That's right, we're here to give
1:00:45
our veterans a voice. So don't forget to catch the
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podcast and stay connected with us giving our veterans a voice.