Latest / Drawn of History / Ari Shaffir _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _561(M4A_128K)
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: I have some tour dates to tell you about. I'll
- 0:02Speaker 1: be in East Lansing. I'll be in Victoria in the Canada.
- 0:06Speaker 1: I'll be in College Station, Texas, Belton, Texas, Oxford, Mississippi, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Nashville, Tennessee, baby,
- 0:18Speaker 1: and Winnipeg in the Canada and Calgary in the Canada.
- 0:21Speaker 1: All those tickets are at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. This is
- 0:26Speaker 1: still the return of the rat tour. I promise we'll
- 0:30Speaker 1: We'll end it one of these days when we've gone
- 0:32Speaker 1: all the places that we can go. I'm very grateful
- 0:36Speaker 1: that you guys continue to support us. Today's guest is
- 0:40Speaker 1: a stand-up comedian. He's a podcaster. He's been an integral
- 0:46Speaker 1: part of comedy for a long time. Bridges a lot
- 0:52Speaker 1: of years and connections between other comics. He's certainly a
- 0:56Speaker 1: type of glue in the humor world. His latest special,
- 1:01Speaker 1: America's Sweetheart, is now on Netflix. You know his podcast,
- 1:05Speaker 1: You Be Trippin', and he's currently on the Farewell Tour
- 1:09Speaker 1: going now through the rest of the year. I'm always
- 1:11Speaker 1: excited to spend time with him and catch up. Today's
- 1:14Speaker 1: guest is Mr. Ari Shafir.
- 1:19Speaker 2: Hello.
- 1:31Speaker 1: Too much burrito did you oh i fucking have american
- 1:35Speaker 1: serving sizes and they hit you with not like chips
- 1:38Speaker 1: and salsa first fill up on those.
- 1:41Speaker 3: Yeah some serving sizes are.
- 1:45Speaker 1: Alarming i can't tell if i'm you know there's an
- 1:48Speaker 1: amount of serving size that you want to get right
- 1:50Speaker 1: there's but then some places that give too much you're
- 1:54Speaker 1: like oh that's This is awesome of them.
- 1:56Speaker 3: But then you start having it and you're like, oh,
- 1:57Speaker 3: this is. I keep eating it. I'm a dog. And
- 1:59Speaker 3: it's not good sometimes. They're just overloading you with badness. Yeah,
- 2:02Speaker 3: shitty fries. We're like, oh, there's no seasoning on this.
- 2:04Speaker 3: And then I ate them all. I should have just
- 2:05Speaker 3: been like, no, I'll get fries. I have fry money.
- 2:08Speaker 3: I could go get more fries. Yeah, get some better fries.
- 2:09Speaker 2: But I don't.
- 2:10Speaker 3: I'm like, they're right here right now. I'm going to
- 2:11Speaker 3: eat them. I want like two bites too many would
- 2:14Speaker 3: be perfect.
- 2:15Speaker 1: Okay.
- 2:16Speaker 3: I'm done with like one or two extra bites and
- 2:18Speaker 3: then that's it. Buddy, that, uh.
- 2:21Speaker 1: That Trump interview was so fucking good. I've never seen anybody.
- 2:24Speaker 3: Do it like that. Where it's like, I mean, this
- 2:26Speaker 3: is the way I'm reading it. Like, I'm Theo. I'm like,
- 2:29Speaker 3: you're here for me. Not the other way around. Really?
- 2:32Speaker 3: And you're going to facilitate me being Theo. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah,
- 2:36Speaker 3: I don't know.
- 2:36Speaker 1: I just felt, I'd had an exhausted week that week.
- 2:39Speaker 1: We'd had like a couple of interviews. I think it
- 2:41Speaker 1: was in New York and in Nashville. And so it
- 2:45Speaker 1: was just like a lot of traveling. I was like,
- 2:46Speaker 1: I do not want to do this today.
- 2:48Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 2:48Speaker 3: You can really have to prep for it. But it
- 2:50Speaker 3: was just like burnt out, you know? Yeah.
- 2:52Speaker 1: But yeah, I think people, some people have said that
- 2:55Speaker 1: they think it had an effect on the election and stuff.
- 2:57Speaker 3: I don't really think that. I think it was like
- 2:58Speaker 3: a neither here nor there. He was just sitting there
- 3:00Speaker 3: like this for you. It's like when I go into
- 3:02Speaker 3: bonfire with Jay and Dan.
- 3:04Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 3:04Speaker 3: I would just like, oh, you guys have a routine here.
- 3:06Speaker 3: I'll just sit back and maybe get one tagline in,
- 3:09Speaker 3: you know? Yeah.
- 3:10Speaker 1: I wish we'd have gotten more time to get to,
- 3:11Speaker 1: I wish I'd have gotten more time to talk to
- 3:13Speaker 1: Donald Trump because I thought it would have been just,
- 3:15Speaker 1: I knew we only had about like 55 minutes. So
- 3:18Speaker 1: that's a unique amount of time.
- 3:20Speaker 3: I hate when those big guys are like, we have
- 3:22Speaker 3: this much time. And you're like, all right, I'll do that.
- 3:23Speaker 3: Everybody else is like, let's just go until we're kind
- 3:25Speaker 3: of done.
- 3:26Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 3:27Speaker 3: But it was interesting. We're going to need to wrap up. Oh, yeah. Fine.
- 3:31Speaker 3: But I'm not finished yet. Or some guy in the back,
- 3:32Speaker 3: some lady. I should have just been like, wave it off.
- 3:35Speaker 3: But I didn't. I should have been like, you don't
- 3:38Speaker 3: work for me. I don't work for you. I'm going
- 3:40Speaker 3: to keep him here. Yeah, we should have got. Dude,
- 3:43Speaker 3: I had a dream last night, actually, that I interviewed
- 3:45Speaker 3: Tim Walls, actually. He's the loser guy. He was the
- 3:48Speaker 3: guy that set, yeah, he was on the losing team,
- 3:50Speaker 3: and he was. What did you interview him about? What
- 3:53Speaker 3: did you talk to him in your dream?
- 3:55Speaker 1: I can't remember, but he was so cool in the interview,
- 3:57Speaker 1: and I was like, dude, no, people don't know if
- 3:59Speaker 1: you're so cool or not. We have to come. Let's talk, people,
- 4:02Speaker 1: you know.
- 4:03Speaker 3: But I think. I bet they're all kind of cool.
- 4:06Speaker 3: I bet they're like, hey, you know what I want
- 4:07Speaker 3: to do? I want to take power. I'm like, ooh,
- 4:09Speaker 3: I like that. And then when they do it, I'm like,
- 4:11Speaker 3: fuck you.
- 4:13Speaker 1: Yeah, I think a lot of them just probably either want,
- 4:14Speaker 1: or they want, That's the thing. It's so hard to
- 4:17Speaker 1: know what they're really like as opposed to what you see. Yeah.
- 4:21Speaker 1: Until I think you get some sort of like a vert,
- 4:23Speaker 1: like something of them that seems like somewhat relatable to you.
- 4:28Speaker 3: Yeah. Now they're all a product too. I saw somebody
- 4:30Speaker 3: talking about George Bush Jr. How do you say nuclear?
- 4:33Speaker 3: You know, do I say nuclear? And somebody's like. Wait,
- 4:36Speaker 3: how would he say it? Nuclear. Nuclear. That's how he
- 4:39Speaker 3: would say it? No, he said nuclear. Nuclear. Oh, nuclear's wrong. Sorry, buddy.
- 4:42Speaker 3: Which one's wrong? Nuclear. Nuclear's wrong.
- 4:44Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 4:45Speaker 3: Nuclear.
- 4:46Speaker 1: Nuclear power? You don't think he knew? No, it's nuclear power.
- 4:49Speaker 1: Nuclear power.
- 4:50Speaker 3: No matter what you put on it, it's always going
- 4:51Speaker 3: to be nuclear. Okay. Yeah, I've heard it both ways.
- 4:54Speaker 3: I didn't really know which one was correct, but yeah, nuclear.
- 4:58Speaker 3: But they were like, you don't think he knew how
- 4:59Speaker 3: to pronounce that? His father was the president. You don't
- 5:02Speaker 3: think he knew and he heard nuclear around the house?
- 5:05Speaker 3: They told him to mispronounce that so he could be relatable. Wow,
- 5:08Speaker 3: you think? Yeah.
- 5:08Speaker 1: Damn.
- 5:10Speaker 3: He went to like an Ivy League school. That's true.
- 5:13Speaker 3: He would have been shaken of that.
- 5:15Speaker 1: Yeah, I think people are starting to get hip to
- 5:18Speaker 1: like how much of.
- 5:19Speaker 3: It is Game of Thrones like image shit.
- 5:24Speaker 1: Yeah, how much of it is like this person is
- 5:27Speaker 1: doing this or they're being told this or this is
- 5:29Speaker 1: the plan. Kamala did not have a good strategist, whoever
- 5:33Speaker 1: their planner was or whatever.
- 5:35Speaker 3: Who was that? Who was their? That's one thing. I
- 5:38Speaker 3: bet it wasn't the Swami.
- 5:39Speaker 4: Your campaign advisor.
- 5:40Speaker 3: Yeah, I bet it wasn't that bald guy. What's his name?
- 5:43Speaker 3: He's like the main one. Carville? James Carville? Oh, yeah.
- 5:47Speaker 3: He was cool. Not him. He would have done something better.
- 5:50Speaker 3: He would have done something cool. He's out of Louisiana. Yeah,
- 5:52Speaker 3: that's right. I went up to him once. I was like,
- 5:54Speaker 3: how do you talk to a celebrity? There's no way.
- 5:56Speaker 3: I don't know how to do it. They know I'm
- 5:58Speaker 3: talking to them because they're them. Not just like, oh, hey,
- 6:00Speaker 3: cool shirt. And didn't know who it was. So I
- 6:02Speaker 3: saw him at a commercial shoot once. I was like,
- 6:04Speaker 3: what do I say? I'm like, I know. He used
- 6:05Speaker 3: to call into sports radio in D.C., And he had
- 6:08Speaker 3: a great thing, like always been on the home underdog
- 6:10Speaker 3: if there were more than seven points. And I was like,
- 6:13Speaker 3: that's what I'll say. I was like, hey, he's listening
- 6:14Speaker 3: to you on WTEM with Kornheiser way back. And he goes, oh, cool. Fuck.
- 6:20Speaker 1: Fuck.
- 6:21Speaker 3: Even that. Yeah, there's nothing worse.
- 6:24Speaker 1: Because if your planned line doesn't go good for a celebrity,
- 6:26Speaker 1: you have nothing.
- 6:27Speaker 3: That's it. You stand there like an asshole like, ah. Oh,
- 6:30Speaker 3: I've done that. It feels so shitty and it's so
- 6:33Speaker 3: obvious what you were trying to do.
- 6:34Speaker 2: I know.
- 6:35Speaker 3: Oh, dude.
- 6:36Speaker 1: That's like a Johnny. There was a night where Johnny
- 6:39Speaker 1: Depp was at the Comedy Store.
- 6:41Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. I heard about that. And everybody, like you got.
- 6:44Speaker 3: He's the star. Oh, he was.
- 6:45Speaker 1: There was nobody like him, you know. He was everybody, dude.
- 6:49Speaker 1: He was in that movie Peter Pan. He was in
- 6:51Speaker 1: that Peter Pan movie.
- 6:53Speaker 3: Was he?
- 6:54Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 6:54Speaker 3: What was it called?
- 6:57Speaker 4: Finding Neverland.
- 6:58Speaker 3: Finding Neverland. Oh, God. That's a good movie.
- 7:01Speaker 1: But anyway, so then suddenly, I'd never even really been
- 7:04Speaker 1: backstage at the main room. I wasn't getting on stage
- 7:07Speaker 1: there much of the time. And I'm like, oh, I
- 7:09Speaker 1: gotta go back.
- 7:10Speaker 3: Gotta go back.
- 7:11Speaker 1: So you walk in. The back room back there was... Like,
- 7:15Speaker 1: you could barely even move. Everybody's having, like, these fake
- 7:19Speaker 1: conversations and kind of has their body lightly turned towards
- 7:22Speaker 1: Johnny Depp.
- 7:23Speaker 3: They all try to laugh louder so, like, maybe he'll
- 7:25Speaker 3: join in with our joviality. I see it with Rogan sometimes.
- 7:29Speaker 3: I bet you get it, too. You sit and you're like, oh, cool,
- 7:31Speaker 3: nobody's in this bar. I was like, how did it
- 7:33Speaker 3: just fill up?
- 7:34Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 7:34Speaker 3: It's like word got out. Theo Vaughn's there.
- 7:36Speaker 1: Oh, Rogan, I could imagine, dude. I feel like you
- 7:38Speaker 1: never see. I feel like a lot of people, you
- 7:40Speaker 1: never see him. He doesn't do a lot of. We get, like,
- 7:43Speaker 1: 20 minutes normal. And then it's over.
- 7:46Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 7:46Speaker 3: And I'm like, yeah, I was sitting there. All right,
- 7:48Speaker 3: fucking take it. Yeah. They're like, let me tell you
- 7:51Speaker 3: about science, you know? I'll tell you where the AIDS is.
- 7:55Speaker 3: You know, you're like, what's this guy? And it's just
- 7:58Speaker 3: a gay guy that's flirting or whatever.
- 7:59Speaker 1: But it was like that at the– that was it.
- 8:04Speaker 3: And he was in the back. I'm coming out. I
- 8:07Speaker 3: think– Oh, that's Edgar. That's right.
- 8:08Speaker 1: Yeah, he was with Edgar. And who brought him? The
- 8:11Speaker 1: guy– Doug Stanhope. Doug Stanhope brought.
- 8:13Speaker 3: Him from Arizona.
- 8:14Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:15Speaker 3: And everybody was just like. Trying to be in his presence.
- 8:18Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:18Speaker 3: His aura. You could soak it in. You could bask.
- 8:20Speaker 3: You could just see him. And I can't even remember
- 8:23Speaker 3: if I got to meet him or not.
- 8:24Speaker 1: But if I did, I think it was one of
- 8:26Speaker 1: those things like, oh, see, things are going good or
- 8:28Speaker 1: something like that.
- 8:28Speaker 3: Just like we were from high school together.
- 8:31Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 8:31Speaker 3: Like you want this calm. It's never going to be that.
- 8:33Speaker 3: It's never going to be like shit. The best was
- 8:35Speaker 3: Dice one time. Met some guy. And he goes, oh,
- 8:38Speaker 3: we should hang out. He's just some fan. And Dice's like,
- 8:41Speaker 3: you know how he is. And he's like, sure, give
- 8:42Speaker 3: me a number. And Dice. Called him and texted him
- 8:46Speaker 3: 35 times a day. Bothered him at work to the
- 8:48Speaker 3: point where the guy's like, hey, Andrew, I'm working right now.
- 8:51Speaker 3: He goes, oh, yeah, work's tough. It's like I remember
- 8:54Speaker 3: a couple jobs I had when I was younger. I
- 8:55Speaker 3: was like, Andrew, I've got to go back to work.
- 8:58Speaker 3: The guy just regretted trying to be friends with him. Yeah,
- 9:04Speaker 3: that's hilarious. It does suck. I heard Brody Stevens went
- 9:06Speaker 3: back there and either didn't know or now that I
- 9:09Speaker 3: realize probably somebody told him. And he went back and
- 9:11Speaker 3: was like, oh. Like, you're not expecting to see anybody,
- 9:14Speaker 3: let alone Johnny fucking Depp.
- 9:16Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 9:16Speaker 1: And he goes, oh.
- 9:17Speaker 3: And then I heard Depp had this way to offset.
- 9:19Speaker 3: He goes, hi, I'm Johnny. How you doing? Or I'm John.
- 9:21Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 9:22Speaker 3: And then Brody's like, Johnny Depp. Yes. Heard of it.
- 9:27Speaker 3: He must have been like, this guy's been weird in
- 9:29Speaker 3: front of me. Like, no, no, no. That's just who
- 9:30Speaker 3: he is. He's going to f * * * himself soon.
- 9:31Speaker 3: Don't worry about that.
- 9:36Speaker 1: God, yeah, there's nothing scarier than if you have a
- 9:39Speaker 1: line for something and it's, say, this, because your brain
- 9:41Speaker 1: doesn't think, it's just like, oh, everything will go good.
- 9:43Speaker 1: It's not like, well, if that doesn't get adhered to,
- 9:45Speaker 1: then what are you going to do after that? Yeah,
- 9:47Speaker 1: you plan ahead, like, once that goes great, then what
- 9:49Speaker 1: do I do from there? I'll talk, I'll listen, I'll say, hey,
- 9:52Speaker 1: I will, then I'll ask, yeah, maybe we can get
- 9:54Speaker 1: a photo or something. Yeah, but God, it's so scary
- 9:56Speaker 1: when that first line doesn't go good because then you
- 9:58Speaker 1: don't know what to do. Oh.
- 10:00Speaker 3: Oh, it's so embarrassing. It is harrowing, kind of.
- 10:03Speaker 1: And that was at a time when celebs, there was
- 10:05Speaker 1: like a real hierarchy to celebrity. And I feel like
- 10:08Speaker 1: celebrity has gotten very, Everybody has social media. Everybody has
- 10:16Speaker 1: a website. Everybody could be a star. You also see
- 10:18Speaker 1: the real them now, the real, real celebrities. So you're like, oh,
- 10:21Speaker 1: you're just a guy. You do the same. You're like, oh,
- 10:24Speaker 1: I see you with your dog.
- 10:25Speaker 3: You're fine. You're normal.
- 10:27Speaker 1: Yeah, things have gotten. Yeah, celebrities used to be kept
- 10:29Speaker 1: more in this kind of hidden realm kind of.
- 10:32Speaker 3: Yeah, I met Rob Lowe, who's one of those big,
- 10:34Speaker 3: who did my travel podcast.
- 10:36Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 10:37Speaker 3: And he was like, can I change? And the other
- 10:38Speaker 3: room was like, yeah, sure. It's filthy. I had some
- 10:41Speaker 3: sleeping in there yesterday. So like, but like, yeah, whatever.
- 10:44Speaker 1: And then she's like, yeah, I don't have to like
- 10:45Speaker 1: cater to them.
- 10:47Speaker 3: You're a guy fucking go in there and change. I
- 10:48Speaker 3: don't know. Right. Yeah. And that's how they all are.
- 10:50Speaker 3: It's just, it's, it's weird realizing as you grow up,
- 10:54Speaker 3: they're not different. Yeah.
- 10:55Speaker 1: Do you think that's growing up or do you think
- 10:56Speaker 1: that it's changed that the, that like, maybe it's changed. Maybe,
- 11:01Speaker 1: but I mean, I always take out the fact that
- 11:03Speaker 1: I'm getting, that I'm getting older and growing up, that
- 11:06Speaker 1: that could be part of the realization of things.
- 11:08Speaker 3: Yeah, somebody said, like, whenever you have a big movie now,
- 11:10Speaker 3: they're like, oh, let's get, like, Matt Damon or, you know,
- 11:13Speaker 3: Brad Pitt. That'll be a big, big star. But it's like,
- 11:15Speaker 3: no one under 28 worships that guy. Yeah. So, like,
- 11:18Speaker 3: it's a 50-year-old studio exec saying, that'll be a headline.
- 11:21Speaker 3: It's like, no, no, get Timothee Chalamet. Yeah. Get somebody younger.
- 11:25Speaker 1: Yeah, get Timothee Chalamet or get a lesbian who's a
- 11:27Speaker 1: Timothee Chalamet impersonator.
- 11:28Speaker 3: Yeah, without even trying.
- 11:30Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
- 11:32Speaker 3: But even that would go further with a young generation.
- 11:34Speaker 3: It sure would. They'd be like, oh, yeah. They'd be like,
- 11:37Speaker 3: what the fuck? Ari Shafir, man, good to see you, bro.
- 11:40Speaker 3: You too, buddy. Yeah, are you living in Austin now? No,
- 11:43Speaker 3: New York. Oh, you still live in New York. Just publicly.
- 11:45Speaker 3: Every time I'm there, there's so many fucking pictures. So
- 11:49Speaker 3: everyone's like, I guess you must be there.
- 11:50Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 11:51Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 11:51Speaker 3: You can't do two feet without somebody posting a picture.
- 11:53Speaker 3: And they're pretty immediate over there, too. Yeah. Like the
- 11:57Speaker 3: second you're there, you show up on social media. Yeah.
- 11:59Speaker 3: You're like, it's almost like, Hey, how's, how's the crowd?
- 12:01Speaker 3: I'm about to go on. I noticed you like, Oh,
- 12:04Speaker 3: all right. They're pretty good.
- 12:06Speaker 1: Do you, are you amazed at the success of Austin
- 12:09Speaker 1: or with the comedy scene in Austin?
- 12:10Speaker 3: What do you think about it? Do you, it's exciting
- 12:13Speaker 3: for sure. It's exciting. They got some shit to overcome.
- 12:15Speaker 3: They want to be the real scene. Yeah. Yeah. The, they,
- 12:19Speaker 3: they need to know where they're weak. They don't. Oh,
- 12:23Speaker 3: where they're weak. The comedians you mean? Yeah, there's a
- 12:26Speaker 3: lot of ass kissing there. It's like, we're great, we're great.
- 12:28Speaker 3: And you really gotta focus on why we're terrible. Self-hating
- 12:31Speaker 3: was always driving you better than celebration. Oh, you know what,
- 12:35Speaker 3: that's a good, I don't know if there's as much
- 12:36Speaker 3: self-hatred there. Yeah, the store, especially when you started going there,
- 12:40Speaker 3: like right after me, it was like, no one was there. Like,
- 12:43Speaker 3: we suck. We fucking suck, it's obvious. No one's here
- 12:45Speaker 3: to see us. So let's try to be better. Yeah,
- 12:48Speaker 3: they've kind of started out like doing well. Yeah.
- 12:51Speaker 1: Kind of like the JonBenet thing. of comedy sort of. Yeah,
- 12:54Speaker 1: four year comics with like serious road draws. You're like, oh,
- 12:58Speaker 1: you need that fucking struggle time. You started with a spotter.
- 13:01Speaker 1: That's not the best way to work out.
- 13:02Speaker 3: I didn't even really think about that. Yeah, but it's
- 13:04Speaker 3: still exciting. It's a new burgeoning scene and that's pretty exciting.
- 13:08Speaker 3: You know, there's no Hollywood there to fuck it up,
- 13:11Speaker 3: to like shit people away from what they're doing. So
- 13:13Speaker 3: they're really just concentrating on jokes. Yeah.
- 13:17Speaker 1: Yeah, it's, I've not, like at first I was like,
- 13:19Speaker 1: what's this gonna be like? You know, it seemed like
- 13:21Speaker 1: a lot of like, um, You know, when Joe went.
- 13:24Speaker 1: But then also Tom Segura went, which was huge. And
- 13:28Speaker 1: a lot of comedians went.
- 13:29Speaker 3: I think the bigger thing is those five, six-year comics
- 13:31Speaker 3: that are going. And in 10 years, it's a long
- 13:34Speaker 3: game to make that scene something. And in 10 years,
- 13:36Speaker 3: they're going to be the biggest, the best comics. And
- 13:38Speaker 3: they're going to be Austin comics.
- 13:40Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 13:41Speaker 1: Yeah, that's kind of the last time I was there.
- 13:43Speaker 1: I was like, you could go up and down that
- 13:45Speaker 1: street and do kind of five sets in.
- 13:47Speaker 3: A night if you want it. And I was like, well,
- 13:49Speaker 3: that is. That was nice. Yeah, that's nice. Do you ever,
- 13:51Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know how you are normally. You're
- 13:52Speaker 3: so fucking big now. It's pretty cool. But like, I
- 13:56Speaker 3: talked with Shane too. I'm like, can you go up
- 13:58Speaker 3: and like get an honest rep anymore? Oh, that's a
- 14:01Speaker 3: good question. Especially Shane, I feel like is the biggest
- 14:04Speaker 3: guy in the world right now. Yeah. I feel like
- 14:06Speaker 3: he's like, I don't even know who I would compare
- 14:09Speaker 3: him to. He's like the big, he's like. Dane Cook. Yeah,
- 14:13Speaker 3: at the time. When Dane was Dane. Shane and Dane.
- 14:17Speaker 3: Shane and Dane. Buddy cops. Where they don't do anything.
- 14:21Speaker 3: They just get drunk instead. And Dane just goes, come on,
- 14:24Speaker 3: don't drink, don't drink, don't drink. And Shane just keeps drinking.
- 14:26Speaker 3: And they never solve a crime. Dane has a big
- 14:28Speaker 3: idea and then Shane just. Seems gay. Raises his eyebrow
- 14:32Speaker 3: at him. And he's like, all right, I won't. Seems gay.
- 14:35Speaker 3: That's hilarious. That'd be the best.
- 14:37Speaker 1: That'd be the best cop. Nothing happens every single episode.
- 14:42Speaker 1: Just sit there and kind of half argue. Yeah, you
- 14:46Speaker 1: need an honest rep.
- 14:47Speaker 3: There's times where I go up in New York and
- 14:48Speaker 3: it's a big applause, and sometimes I go up and
- 14:50Speaker 3: it's like, one guy's like that, and I'm like, oh, nice. Okay,
- 14:52Speaker 3: this is going to be a reel. I'll really tell
- 14:54Speaker 3: if my jokes are good this time. This is going
- 14:55Speaker 3: to be fair.
- 14:56Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 14:56Speaker 1: Well, I think a lot of the people from the
- 14:57Speaker 1: podcast or that realm or whatever people that podcast, it's
- 15:01Speaker 1: like a lot of the audiences know us. They just
- 15:04Speaker 1: see us so much, you know? Going ahead of time,
- 15:06Speaker 1: they already know your backstory.
- 15:07Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 15:08Speaker 1: They saw so many, I mean, they've seen so many
- 15:10Speaker 1: clips or for you or things that are out there,
- 15:12Speaker 1: you know? And a lot of it's stuff that we
- 15:14Speaker 1: didn't even make. It's like other channels making shit. It's like,
- 15:17Speaker 1: you know, like I know there's like Legion of Skanks
- 15:19Speaker 1: has like extra channels that are.
- 15:20Speaker 3: Always just making their shit and putting it out. Yeah, yeah.
- 15:23Speaker 1: And it's great stuff, but it's like, so then that
- 15:26Speaker 1: just gets so much of it out there.
- 15:28Speaker 3: Yeah. I remember doing one time I was doing, when
- 15:30Speaker 3: I was doing that Jew special, I would do Q
- 15:31Speaker 3: and A's. So like, what do you want to know
- 15:32Speaker 3: about Jews? And sometimes you'd be like, what's Theo Vaughn like?
- 15:34Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, no, no, just Jew questions. And
- 15:36Speaker 3: then one time in Houston, I was like, all right,
- 15:39Speaker 3: I'm going to, I'm going to do this. They said
- 15:41Speaker 3: something about Burt. I was like, all right, Burt did that, whatever.
- 15:43Speaker 3: And then Tom, and I was doing that. And then
- 15:45Speaker 3: this black couple, this guy, just raising his hand. I
- 15:48Speaker 3: was like, yeah, question. He goes, who are all those people?
- 15:51Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, right. Yeah, you don't know
- 15:54Speaker 3: the back story. I can't do shit like that. Yeah.
- 15:58Speaker 1: Well, black people started podcasting a lot more last year. Yeah,
- 16:00Speaker 1: they just figured out how to get online. Yeah, they
- 16:03Speaker 1: couldn't figure out the password. They keep changing their phone
- 16:05Speaker 1: numbers too much. It's linked to an old phone number.
- 16:08Speaker 1: That could be true, yeah. They're like, oh, this is
- 16:10Speaker 1: my aunt's email account.
- 16:11Speaker 3: Is this your address? Who's asking? Who's asking?
- 16:16Speaker 1: Yeah, some guy putting his home address for his email address, dude.
- 16:21Speaker 3: Disguises to enter into the password. Like, I don't know
- 16:23Speaker 3: how it works.
- 16:24Speaker 1: Anyway, they finally hired some white Jew out of college
- 16:27Speaker 1: to run.
- 16:27Speaker 3: It for them. Now it's all running great.
- 16:30Speaker 1: I am curious about Austin. I'm curious, because last time
- 16:32Speaker 1: I was there, just this energy. There is a lot
- 16:36Speaker 1: of excitement. The club will be sold out. I mean,
- 16:38Speaker 1: Joe's club will be sold out forever.
- 16:39Speaker 3: So you sell out in seconds.
- 16:40Speaker 1: Yeah, but even you go to some of those other rooms.
- 16:42Speaker 1: You go to Red Band's room next door. You go to,
- 16:45Speaker 1: there's the Black Cat or something.
- 16:47Speaker 3: Uh-huh, Black Rabbit. Yeah, Black Rabbit. My problem is also,
- 16:50Speaker 3: I can't get any on it. I'm a star there.
- 16:52Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 16:53Speaker 3: So that's not, it's fun. It was like, do you
- 16:55Speaker 3: remember the Laugh Factory open mic? Yes.
- 16:58Speaker 1: So laugh after you open the mic. Signing up for
- 16:59Speaker 1: it and sitting outside. You can only do it once
- 17:01Speaker 1: a month, and that's what kept you in comedy. Because
- 17:04Speaker 1: you're like, I will kill. And the store open mic
- 17:06Speaker 1: was like, made you think about quitting.
- 17:08Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 17:09Speaker 3: But like, it was so good. You need that once
- 17:11Speaker 3: in a while. It's just a victory lap. That's how
- 17:13Speaker 3: Austin is for me. No matter where I go, everyone's like, yes!
- 17:16Speaker 3: And I'm like, all right, I can't work on anything here.
- 17:17Speaker 1: It's probably because you and Rogan have been friends for
- 17:20Speaker 1: so long. You've just been so intertwined with a lot
- 17:23Speaker 1: of those guys. And because you've done so much work yourself.
- 17:26Speaker 1: But for new comics, you can get that honest rep there.
- 17:28Speaker 1: And that's what's exciting to me. Yeah.
- 17:29Speaker 3: And I think to Joe also. He's trying to build
- 17:31Speaker 3: a scene, not just a club. Yeah. I think he's
- 17:34Speaker 3: doing it. I mean, he pushes. At the end of
- 17:36Speaker 3: every episode, he asks everybody. He's like, so? You moving
- 17:39Speaker 3: to Austin?
- 17:39Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
- 17:41Speaker 3: He tries so hard. He really does it. Yeah. He
- 17:43Speaker 3: tries so hard. I try to tell him the reasons why.
- 17:45Speaker 3: They don't make sense to him. Yeah. I'm like, it's
- 17:47Speaker 3: like an influencer town. He's like, no, you just get
- 17:50Speaker 3: a place 45 minutes away with armed guards every mile.
- 17:53Speaker 3: It's like, okay, that's not going to be my reality, bud.
- 17:56Speaker 1: Yeah, he has people just shooting on it, tablets. No,
- 17:58Speaker 1: it's close.
- 17:59Speaker 3: They just get airlifted into the club and get airlifted back.
- 18:01Speaker 3: It's easy, man. But it's such a fun time. It
- 18:05Speaker 3: is fun. Oh, my God. It's a vacation every time
- 18:07Speaker 3: you go there. You can treat it right. You fill
- 18:08Speaker 3: up your own drinks. That's how every club should be.
- 18:11Speaker 3: I'm an adult. I get free drinks. Why do I
- 18:12Speaker 3: got to bother this bartender? Let me just make my drinks.
- 18:16Speaker 3: And people are like, doesn't he lose a lot of money?
- 18:17Speaker 3: They're like, a bottle, it costs $ 60. Right.
- 18:20Speaker 1: No. Like, yeah, if that's that much of the stress,
- 18:23Speaker 1: then you guys are having a tough time anyway.
- 18:26Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, you make a ton of money. You see
- 18:29Speaker 3: your friends with nothing to do when you're there.
- 18:32Speaker 1: Getting to be in there, you also, people don't realize,
- 18:37Speaker 1: you get to meet whoever Joe had on his show
- 18:39Speaker 1: that day is going to be at the club that night.
- 18:41Speaker 1: There's some congresspersons there.
- 18:42Speaker 3: You're like, hello, anyway.
- 18:44Speaker 1: We're about to make some Holocaust jokes. Do you want
- 18:46Speaker 1: to stay in for this? It's on you.
- 18:48Speaker 3: He's like, I wrote a couple myself.
- 18:52Speaker 1: We're like, I think I could fuck AIDS out of
- 18:53Speaker 1: a chick.
- 18:54Speaker 3: You're like, oh, I'm sorry, Your Honor. Maybe we'll leave.
- 18:59Speaker 1: But he does feel energetic there. I'm seriously considering trying.
- 19:03Speaker 3: To get a little house there someplace where I can
- 19:05Speaker 3: be there more often.
- 19:06Speaker 1: Because I want to be able to work on comedy more.
- 19:08Speaker 1: I do feel like I get a real rep for
- 19:10Speaker 1: comedy when I'm here, actually.
- 19:13Speaker 3: Interesting. If it's not a show that I put on. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right.
- 19:16Speaker 3: Then you get up. Because I feel like L.A.
- 19:18Speaker 2: Like.
- 19:19Speaker 3: At least some rep. Some. I might know you, but
- 19:23Speaker 3: maybe I'm not a ticket buyer for Theo Vaughn. Right.
- 19:25Speaker 3: So you got to win me over a little bit. Yeah,
- 19:27Speaker 3: or maybe I'm not a fan at all. Right. Maybe
- 19:29Speaker 3: I don't like you.
- 19:30Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 19:30Speaker 3: So win me over. The best was one time when
- 19:33Speaker 3: Louie came back, we saw security footage camera. Some chick
- 19:36Speaker 3: was there in the side. So we could see her
- 19:38Speaker 3: fully behind Louie. And she was like, just like mad.
- 19:42Speaker 3: And then four minutes in, it's Louis CK, right? So
- 19:44Speaker 3: the talent there is undeniable. So she's mad. After about
- 19:48Speaker 3: four minutes, she goes, And then five minutes later, she's like.
- 19:53Speaker 3: And then by the end, she's just dying laughing. She's like, yeah,
- 19:55Speaker 3: maybe this guy's all right. At the end, she's like,
- 19:58Speaker 3: jerk off in front of me. You can do it.
- 20:01Speaker 3: Don't ask. I'm not into that. He's changing her whole MO.
- 20:08Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 20:08Speaker 1: Dude, I really think, yeah, I think Louie, Bill Burr
- 20:15Speaker 1: are probably the funny, they might be, Louie's the funniest
- 20:18Speaker 1: guy I've ever seen. The funniest person I've ever spoken to.
- 20:21Speaker 1: He's the most creative, I think.
- 20:23Speaker 3: He's always just making jokes and you put him on
- 20:26Speaker 3: a pedestal sometimes, but he's not, he's just a schmuck.
- 20:28Speaker 3: He's just a schmendrick, a fat blob. And like whatever
- 20:31Speaker 3: we put on, that's us putting stuff on. He's just
- 20:33Speaker 3: a dude.
- 20:33Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 20:35Speaker 3: I'll be honest.
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- 24:35Speaker 1: so will everyone else. You have a new comedy special
- 24:41Speaker 1: coming out.
- 24:42Speaker 3: Yeah, it's out. It's out now? Yeah, it just came out.
- 24:44Speaker 3: America's Sweetheart. Nice. Oh, and that's you?
- 24:47Speaker 1: It's me.
- 24:50Speaker 3: Wow. So things have changed.
- 24:51Speaker 1: That's right.
- 24:51Speaker 3: In America, for sure. I'm the nice guy. Hey, we'll
- 24:54Speaker 3: take what we can get, you know? Like, is nobody nicer? Like, nah.
- 25:00Speaker 1: Do you find, as you've been, because you've been in
- 25:02Speaker 1: comedy for how long?
- 25:04Speaker 3: 25 years.
- 25:04Speaker 2: Wow.
- 25:05Speaker 3: Right? It's a long fucking time. It's more than half.
- 25:11Speaker 3: I've been more in comedy than not in comedy. I
- 25:13Speaker 3: think I just passed that.
- 25:15Speaker 1: Do you feel like in the beginning you were just
- 25:17Speaker 1: telling jokes, and now that there's any more purpose? I
- 25:22Speaker 1: just wonder, I try to look at, do we evolve
- 25:25Speaker 1: as comedians? Because you hear some people say we evolve, right?
- 25:28Speaker 1: You hear some people say their whole goal, their whole
- 25:30Speaker 1: life is just to get up the punchline. Some people
- 25:32Speaker 1: want to start being philosophical, right? Do you feel any
- 25:35Speaker 1: difference or notice anything about that? That for yourself?
- 25:39Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's everybody. It's not even like you
- 25:41Speaker 3: do this thing. It might even take off or not
- 25:42Speaker 3: take off. But then you're like, well, I'm a different person.
- 25:44Speaker 3: Like Sturgill. You know Sturgill Simpson? So he's singing about
- 25:47Speaker 3: DMT and mushrooms and stuff. And then the later albums,
- 25:50Speaker 3: it's about his kids and stuff. And they're like, what
- 25:51Speaker 3: about the drugs? And he's like, I mean, I covered it.
- 25:54Speaker 3: I'm in my 40s now. It's kind of gross to
- 25:56Speaker 3: be talking about like, can you believe I got so
- 25:59Speaker 3: whacked out? It's kind of lame at some point. So
- 26:01Speaker 3: you have to shift. And the better you get, too.
- 26:03Speaker 3: You talk to Mattel, who? I think, but definitely could
- 26:07Speaker 3: be the best. Good point. And you see him and
- 26:09Speaker 3: you're like, dude, that joke was so funny. He goes,
- 26:11Speaker 3: it was a simple switch. And like, he's on such
- 26:13Speaker 3: a higher level that stuff, I've been around for a
- 26:16Speaker 3: while that I'm like, wow. He's like, that was a
- 26:17Speaker 3: nothing thing. That was an easy trick I just did.
- 26:19Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 26:20Speaker 3: And he's so far above me, I can't see it.
- 26:23Speaker 3: So yeah, everybody evolves a bit. I've started using my
- 26:27Speaker 3: English degree more.
- 26:28Speaker 1: Really?
- 26:29Speaker 3: Yeah. Doing pretty much my last two specials.
- 26:32Speaker 1: Like Othello or something? No, like the, Five paragraph essay. Oh,
- 26:37Speaker 1: like having a real plan to it.
- 26:39Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm just like, here's my thesis. Here's my proofs.
- 26:42Speaker 3: Now here's a, here's a wrap up instead of just
- 26:45Speaker 3: a collection of bits. But you know, once you get
- 26:48Speaker 3: like pretty good at joke telling and it's like, what
- 26:51Speaker 3: do I want to do on top of that?
- 26:52Speaker 1: Right.
- 26:53Speaker 3: So that's what I'm doing with this. I'm trying to
- 26:54Speaker 3: get people off the news. Yeah. Is that what it's
- 26:57Speaker 3: about more?
- 26:57Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 26:57Speaker 3: I'm sort of like, just get, things are pretty good.
- 26:59Speaker 3: If you, if you're on there too much, they're going
- 27:01Speaker 3: to think it's bad, but it's actually pretty fucking good.
- 27:05Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw a clip where you were with Harry Mandel.
- 27:06Speaker 1: He was talking about anti-Semitism. Somebody was. How come you
- 27:11Speaker 1: can pronounce that well and not nuclear? That's a good question. Programming.
- 27:16Speaker 3: Yeah, you've come in contact with one more than another.
- 27:22Speaker 3: He was so sure that's a horrible time for Jews.
- 27:25Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 27:25Speaker 3: And I'm so positive it's not.
- 27:27Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 27:27Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 27:29Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember he, there was one time he was, oh,
- 27:31Speaker 1: I think it was when Trump was running for office,
- 27:33Speaker 1: and nobody could understand how I, like, I was excited
- 27:36Speaker 1: that Trump was running, because he was a, I was like,
- 27:38Speaker 1: if that fucking dude can win, then anybody could win.
- 27:42Speaker 3: Yeah, the way Obama gave black people hope.
- 27:43Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 27:44Speaker 3: He gives, Trump gives regular people hope.
- 27:46Speaker 1: Oh, dude, the first time that he won, I remember
- 27:49Speaker 1: dropping down the street, and I've never even been a
- 27:51Speaker 1: big Trumper. I've never endorsed Trump. I don't even think
- 27:53Speaker 1: I voted for him the first time. I don't remember
- 27:55Speaker 1: if I voted for him the first time. But, I
- 27:59Speaker 1: was like, fucking anybody can win.
- 28:02Speaker 3: And like, if you're born with a billion dollars, like, yeah,
- 28:04Speaker 3: but you also say stupid, and I'm stupid.
- 28:06Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 28:06Speaker 3: So that's the part I'll relate to.
- 28:08Speaker 1: Right.
- 28:09Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 28:09Speaker 1: You're like, anybody could win. That's the part that was
- 28:11Speaker 1: fascinating about it. But I remember how I was scared.
- 28:14Speaker 1: It was like, oh, no, when they had that Richmond neo-Nazi,
- 28:17Speaker 1: that Nazi thing in Richmond, remember years ago?
- 28:19Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. What was that? It was like those guys
- 28:21Speaker 3: that bought those tiki torches or whatever? Yeah, no, it
- 28:24Speaker 3: wasn't Richmond. Charlottesville? Charlottesville. Charlottesville. Yeah. There was a statue.
- 28:28Speaker 3: Do you know who the statue was there? No one does.
- 28:32Speaker 3: Nobody knows who the fucking statue was. And it was
- 28:34Speaker 3: a flashpoint of everything. Was it Stephen Douglas? Symbols of
- 28:43Speaker 3: the city's Confederate past. They don't even know who it is.
- 28:45Speaker 3: They're all protesting. They don't even know who the fucking
- 28:47Speaker 3: statue is. Totally normal. Oh, it was Robert E. Lee
- 28:50Speaker 3: and Stonewall Jackson. Two of them. Now, that's New Orleans,
- 28:52Speaker 3: isn't it? That's Charlottesville?
- 28:54Speaker 4: Yeah, that's Charlottesville.
- 28:55Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 28:55Speaker 3: They had a school nearby me called Robert E. Lee
- 28:57Speaker 3: Junior High School. I wonder if it's still called that.
- 28:59Speaker 3: Probably changed it. Probably changed it. Erasing history. To Bobby Lee. Yeah.
- 29:04Speaker 3: Bobby Lee College of Dropouts.
- 29:06Speaker 1: Dude, how does Bobby Lee not have an elementary school
- 29:09Speaker 1: named after him?
- 29:10Speaker 3: You gotta. You still look kind of like you're in one.
- 29:12Speaker 3: You could go undercover, Bob. Just shave that stupid stache.
- 29:15Speaker 3: You could go undercover. You look young. Oh, yeah. With just...
- 29:18Speaker 3: insane teriyaki lunches every day.
- 29:20Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 29:21Speaker 1: Just these giant meals. You ever go to eat with Bobby,
- 29:24Speaker 1: he just like fills up the table and you're like, oh,
- 29:26Speaker 1: is this for us?
- 29:27Speaker 3: He goes, oh, no, you can order two. Bobby eats
- 29:30Speaker 3: like Ralphie Mae. He's a principal.
- 29:32Speaker 1: He shows up once a year over Zoom. You know
- 29:37Speaker 1: what I saw the other day? Oh, I was talking
- 29:39Speaker 1: to my I was talking to this kid, and he
- 29:42Speaker 1: didn't know what AIDS.
- 29:44Speaker 3: Was, dude. What? Yeah. He doesn't know what AIDS is.
- 29:47Speaker 3: I was like, kid, I was like.
- 29:49Speaker 1: You trying to educate him? I don't think I'm allowed
- 29:52Speaker 1: to tell you, but. I was like, dude, what about AIDS?
- 29:54Speaker 3: And he's like, AIDS? And I was like, AIDS, you know?
- 29:57Speaker 3: One of the top three things. But where is it?
- 30:02Speaker 3: If kids don't even know about AIDS, man. It's gone.
- 30:05Speaker 3: But that's crazy. You gotta talk to gays, bro. I
- 30:09Speaker 3: talked to Mateo. Because you can't get it. We got
- 30:10Speaker 3: a force field now. Oh, they do? Oh, PrEP drugs. Yeah, PrEP.
- 30:15Speaker 3: So it's like they just can't get it. So it's
- 30:18Speaker 3: back to 80s. Let's fuck. Let's be gay the way
- 30:22Speaker 3: gay was meant to be. Yeah. Let's fuck in the
- 30:26Speaker 3: back of the church. Let's fuck anywhere. Gays are. They'll
- 30:31Speaker 3: fuck anywhere, huh? They just go for it. That's crazy,
- 30:34Speaker 3: isn't it? Imagine just. And the guy trying to jerk
- 30:38Speaker 3: me off in the back of a bus in Vietnam.
- 30:40Speaker 3: You did? Yeah. And the guy was gay? I don't
- 30:48Speaker 3: fucking know what their, I don't know what their culture is.
- 30:52Speaker 3: That's a big sign, usually. Dude, they're starving over there.
- 30:57Speaker 3: They could have been ordering soup. Dude, any joke that
- 31:03Speaker 3: ends in soup, Jewish people love it for some reason.
- 31:06Speaker 3: I'm listening. It's a little cold. I'll eat half and
- 31:08Speaker 3: send it back, but I like that joke. I'll eat
- 31:10Speaker 3: half that joke and send it back. Hold on. Almost done?
- 31:18Speaker 3: There's a hair in there. It's the biggest problem with
- 31:22Speaker 3: Jews going bald. They can't send soup back. Sorry, Howie.
- 31:28Speaker 3: You're right.
- 31:29Speaker 1: That's hilarious, dude.
- 31:32Speaker 3: That's fucking hilarious. What are we talking about? Jesus Christ.
- 31:38Speaker 3: Is this what the president said? Oh, the eight. The eight. Yeah.
- 31:42Speaker 3: I miss it. It was like a real thing at
- 31:46Speaker 3: United People. United Nation of AIDS.
- 31:49Speaker 1: I remember, yeah, they were like at a school or
- 31:51Speaker 1: whatever they made us do like a round of applause
- 31:53Speaker 1: for HIV or whatever it was. It was like something,
- 31:55Speaker 1: like some thing they had at our school. It was
- 31:58Speaker 1: like clap for AIDS or whatever. Clap for it? It
- 32:03Speaker 1: was like somebody would clap as long as they could
- 32:05Speaker 1: to raise money for AIDS. Like one of those things,
- 32:06Speaker 1: like do it as long as you can. Like an
- 32:09Speaker 1: AIDS-a-thon or whatever.
- 32:10Speaker 3: Okay.
- 32:11Speaker 1: And it was like, I just remember being in this
- 32:12Speaker 1: gym and people just, it was like somebody had to
- 32:15Speaker 1: keep clapping. So you had to tag in somebody else
- 32:16Speaker 1: to clap. And then if you got to a certain
- 32:19Speaker 1: number of hours, then you raise a certain amount of money.
- 32:21Speaker 3: Wow. Turns out they never got the cure. They just
- 32:24Speaker 3: got a prenatal vaccine. You did it.
- 32:30Speaker 1: That's not funny. But when you're here, everything's funny, dude. Oh,
- 32:33Speaker 1: what is this right there? Oh, an unfortunate product name.
- 32:36Speaker 1: A Y D S.
- 32:37Speaker 3: I was overweight. Look to help me lose 46 pounds.
- 32:41Speaker 2: The AIDS diet plan helped me lose 28 pounds. AIDS
- 32:45Speaker 2: helps control your appetite so you lose weight, yet AIDS
- 32:48Speaker 2: lets you taste, chew, and enjoy. And the appetite suppressant
- 32:51Speaker 2: in AIDS is not a stimulant.
- 32:54Speaker 3: AIDS helped me to lose 18 pounds, and it doesn't
- 32:56Speaker 3: contain anything to make me nervous.
- 32:58Speaker 2: Question, why take diet pills when you can enjoy AIDS?
- 33:02Speaker 2: AIDS helps you lose weight without making you jittery.
- 33:05Speaker 3: That's crazy.
- 33:06Speaker 2: Wow.
- 33:06Speaker 3: That's crazy. The term, enjoy AIDS. And people are like,
- 33:09Speaker 3: where did AIDS start? in chewable form. That's wild. I mean,
- 33:15Speaker 3: what's that new drug that makes you lose weight? Ozempic. Ozempic,
- 33:18Speaker 3: that's that. They just rebranded. AIDS. Zima did it. They
- 33:22Speaker 3: went to Trulia and White Claw. They were smart. They did, huh?
- 33:25Speaker 3: I forgot Zima was just an early White Claw. Zima
- 33:28Speaker 3: gives me, what happened there gives me hope for society
- 33:31Speaker 3: because you're within a 10, 15 year age of me.
- 33:36Speaker 3: You remember Zima.
- 33:37Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 33:37Speaker 3: And it was like, it's like there's a cooler stuff,
- 33:40Speaker 3: and you reach for a Zima, people are like, you
- 33:41Speaker 3: sure you wanna do that in front of people? You're
- 33:43Speaker 3: gonna be called gay for a long time, and you're like, okay,
- 33:45Speaker 3: I won't. We went away, and then Truly or White Club,
- 33:48Speaker 3: whichever the first one came back, we all kind of
- 33:50Speaker 3: made a deal, like let's not.
- 33:51Speaker 1: Call each other gay. Let's just drink this. And we
- 33:54Speaker 1: all were cool about it. And just fucking shut up.
- 33:56Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. It's better to be about it. If nobody
- 33:58Speaker 3: calls the other person gay, we can enjoy this.
- 33:59Speaker 1: We can do this. Don't be the first one to
- 34:01Speaker 1: take that shot in the revolution. Dude, Zima was kind of,
- 34:05Speaker 1: Zima was one of a kind. Because it had the bottles,
- 34:09Speaker 1: and it kind of, it was a malt liquor. You
- 34:11Speaker 1: kind of had a, it had a malt liquor idea
- 34:13Speaker 1: to it, but it was, was it lemon flavored?
- 34:17Speaker 3: Citrus, yeah.
- 34:17Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
- 34:18Speaker 3: Yeah, a touch of citrus. Look at the Jolly Ranchers
- 34:20Speaker 3: nearby it. Yeah, put a Jolly Rancher.
- 34:23Speaker 1: Is it out?
- 34:23Speaker 3: Can you still buy Zimas? Is the IP still available?
- 34:29Speaker 3: You can't find Zima anywhere else, though it is sold
- 34:31Speaker 3: in Japan. I'm going to Japan.
- 34:32Speaker 1: Are you?
- 34:33Speaker 3: I mean, now. It's a weird reason to go. They
- 34:37Speaker 3: got a lot of unique stuff over there. Yeah.
- 34:40Speaker 1: Oh, what I see the other day in China, there
- 34:43Speaker 1: was a, did you see this Jackson hole, the city
- 34:45Speaker 1: in China that they built Jackson?
- 34:47Speaker 3: They bit to when I was there, they just built
- 34:49Speaker 3: a city.
- 34:49Speaker 2: Really?
- 34:50Speaker 3: Sujo wanted to build a district. So they're just like,
- 34:52Speaker 3: do it. No, no bureaucracy. Make it happen. Just build it.
- 34:56Speaker 3: It was up in six months, 20 skyscrapers, no waiting,
- 35:01Speaker 3: no codes. Look at this place.
- 35:04Speaker 1: This guy built, I visited China's $ 170 million little America
- 35:09Speaker 1: replica town. It's a town of Jackson Hole.
- 35:13Speaker 3: Wow, that's suburbs. Yeah, so it made of Jackson. It
- 35:17Speaker 3: just looks like America. This guy went to visit it.
- 35:19Speaker 3: That's Georgetown to sleep in? And everything in it is... Wyoming.
- 35:28Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 35:29Speaker 3: What? Who does this? How can you do this? That's wild.
- 35:35Speaker 3: They built a few of these. How big is that town?
- 35:37Speaker 3: Who's building it? China. Just to bring new people in?
- 35:41Speaker 3: Old churches? I think rich people, it looks like.
- 35:45Speaker 1: Yeah, what is it? Can you give me some information
- 35:47Speaker 1: on it? So you can live in China but be
- 35:48Speaker 1: in America?
- 35:49Speaker 3: Yes. Be in America. Property taxes.
- 35:55Speaker 1: Jackson, old China, is a resort town on the border
- 35:57Speaker 1: between Hualai County, Zhangjiakou, wedged between Tai... Tai Hong and
- 36:03Speaker 1: Yan Mountain Ranges in architecture is designed by the Jackson, Wyoming.
- 36:09Speaker 3: Is it skiing there? Damn. I don't know. Let us
- 36:13Speaker 3: see some of that information. Cowboy bar.
- 36:15Speaker 1: The thousand single home development used stock western home plans
- 36:18Speaker 1: from an architect in Oregon. Adding designs reminiscent of Billy
- 36:23Speaker 1: the Kid, Geronimo, Stagecoast Station, Big Bear, etc.
- 36:29Speaker 3: Cowhide, antler chandeliers, saddle blankets, all this stuff.
- 36:33Speaker 1: Wagon wheels, Navajo rugs, iron light fixtures, wildlife scene, fireplace screens.
- 36:37Speaker 1: This is a whole place that's there. The project was
- 36:40Speaker 1: completed in 2009. Liu Yangyang, the developer of the community,
- 36:46Speaker 1: said his selling point was more than architecture. His buyers
- 36:48Speaker 1: wanted freedom and spirituality, so he built a Christian church
- 36:51Speaker 1: in the center of the community for residents. According to Smith,
- 36:56Speaker 1: The properties have sold out and tripled in value since
- 36:58Speaker 1: being built as the first model was put up in
- 37:00Speaker 1: Beijing Park for display.
- 37:02Speaker 3: People apparently went nuts for it. Damn, I should have
- 37:04Speaker 3: invested in Chinese real estate.
- 37:07Speaker 2: I know.
- 37:08Speaker 3: Damn, I invested in Palisades.
- 37:12Speaker 2: Wow.
- 37:13Speaker 3: That's pretty cool.
- 37:14Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 37:14Speaker 3: Replica town. That's like Saudi shit. Just interesting. And they
- 37:17Speaker 3: have a few of them. I think there's China's face.
- 37:20Speaker 3: Made to be like Venice, the canals? Yep. Replicas of Paris, London,
- 37:23Speaker 3: and Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Just interesting.
- 37:27Speaker 1: Wait, wait, wait, right there, hold on. That's in China?
- 37:30Speaker 1: They have an Eiffel Tower in China?
- 37:32Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they do it all.
- 37:34Speaker 1: Because they're like, we have so much land, we have
- 37:36Speaker 1: so many expendable souls that we can use to do construction.
- 37:40Speaker 1: Why not just build it here that we don't have
- 37:42Speaker 1: to go somewhere?
- 37:43Speaker 3: Dude, I have a map in my studio for my
- 37:45Speaker 3: travel podcast, and it's in China. You see all the
- 37:48Speaker 3: cities on the right side of it, and then as
- 37:50Speaker 3: it goes left, there's just nothing. There's an occasional dot
- 37:53Speaker 3: of a city, and I'm like, what's all this?
- 37:55Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 37:55Speaker 3: I don't know. I think I should have looked it
- 37:57Speaker 3: up by now. What's out there? Yeah, like what the fuck?
- 38:01Speaker 3: What's in central China? That's a good question. There's just
- 38:03Speaker 3: no reports from there? Is that where they're keeping all
- 38:05Speaker 3: the people who talk back? What's in central China? I
- 38:08Speaker 3: saw some Korean people yesterday. Is that where they teach
- 38:10Speaker 3: people to butt on the subway before you get a
- 38:12Speaker 3: chance to get off? Is that what they do? Yeah,
- 38:14Speaker 3: they do. They don't understand though. Like we get off first,
- 38:17Speaker 3: then you get on. Oh, they get off first? They
- 38:20Speaker 3: just get on. They just push on. Elevators, too. Like,
- 38:22Speaker 3: let me get out first. Oh, they say it's up
- 38:24Speaker 3: to you. Yeah, it's like you didn't go for it.
- 38:28Speaker 3: What else is cracking, man? What's cracking in the world? Yeah,
- 38:32Speaker 3: what do you think of everything? What makes you hopeful? Well,
- 38:35Speaker 3: I guess... In this time of negativity, what makes you hopeful?
- 38:37Speaker 3: Do you think things are feeling negative right now? It
- 38:40Speaker 3: seems like they're pushing you to be negative, but I
- 38:42Speaker 3: don't think you have to be.
- 38:43Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 38:43Speaker 3: So if you center on something, it's like, well, I
- 38:45Speaker 3: like this. New Austin scene's pretty cool. We never had
- 38:47Speaker 3: a third real scene. That's a good point. Yeah, that's nice.
- 38:51Speaker 1: And at first, I didn't think. I was like, oh,
- 38:52Speaker 1: we'll never really be able to compete. But as I've
- 38:55Speaker 1: gone back, I feel like, man, it is. I don't
- 38:57Speaker 1: think it has to compete. That's the problem, too. You
- 38:59Speaker 1: get into that where it's like, I come to LA.
- 39:00Speaker 1: I spent a little time hating it, the way I
- 39:02Speaker 1: hated religion for a while when I left. And now
- 39:03Speaker 1: I'm like in school. And I get back to LA.
- 39:05Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm going to get some burritos.
- 39:06Speaker 1: I'm going to see some friends.
- 39:08Speaker 3: This is great. Yeah.
- 39:09Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a great new extra thing.
- 39:12Speaker 3: You know?
- 39:13Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 39:13Speaker 3: It's not like which one's better. It's like, well, we
- 39:15Speaker 3: don't have to live there. Yeah, he's always like, you
- 39:17Speaker 3: got to move here. Yeah. But it is cool, though.
- 39:21Speaker 1: The bars are cool. The honky-tonks away from where he
- 39:24Speaker 1: built that club is still cool.
- 39:26Speaker 3: Yeah, 6th Street is a violent atmosphere of people vomiting.
- 39:30Speaker 3: on one another. It always was.
- 39:32Speaker 1: And then they put horses. There's a horse comes by
- 39:34Speaker 1: every 40 minutes and just shits everywhere.
- 39:36Speaker 3: Just shits. Like, let's add this to the mix. Let's
- 39:39Speaker 3: up it now. You know all this violence and people
- 39:42Speaker 3: are ready to go and barf and puke and drunkenness?
- 39:45Speaker 3: Let's add horse shit. And then sit back and watch
- 39:48Speaker 3: from a safe distance atop a stallion.
- 39:52Speaker 1: Yeah, there's just occasionally people, there's just horses shitting out there.
- 39:57Speaker 3: And one of the horses they said was an undercover cop.
- 39:59Speaker 3: I'm like, who gives a fuck?
- 40:01Speaker 1: I'm like, who's going to let a horse bust them?
- 40:05Speaker 1: Who goes up to a horse like, do you want
- 40:06Speaker 1: to smoke with me?
- 40:09Speaker 3: She's like, you're under arrest. Look at this chick. Don't move.
- 40:15Speaker 2: Mmm.
- 40:17Speaker 3: What are you wearing, lady? God. Have some class. When
- 40:21Speaker 3: the skirt's so short, I can smell your thoughts, you know?
- 40:24Speaker 3: I remember going there before it got kind of meth-y,
- 40:28Speaker 3: and I saw some UT guys walking along, just, you know,
- 40:32Speaker 3: it's like who we used to hang with tangentially, just
- 40:36Speaker 3: like tough frat guys, and they pass some chick, overweight chick,
- 40:39Speaker 3: and she goes, they're drunk, and she goes, you're fat!
- 40:42Speaker 3: And I was like, dude. That's how it always was.
- 40:47Speaker 3: Sixth Street, no one in Austin goes to Sixth Street.
- 40:50Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 40:51Speaker 3: Once a year for a lark.
- 40:52Speaker 1: Nobody real goes there. Nobody who wants to go do
- 40:55Speaker 1: something fun.
- 40:56Speaker 3: At least Broadway in Nashville is based on something. It's
- 41:01Speaker 3: based on the old honky-tonk area. Right. There's only one
- 41:03Speaker 3: or two left, but it's based on something. So it
- 41:06Speaker 3: comes from a place. Sixth Street in Austin is just
- 41:09Speaker 3: based on nothing. Yeah. It's got a darkness to it.
- 41:11Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely seems kind of spooky. It seems like
- 41:14Speaker 1: people that are just there to get drunk. It kind
- 41:16Speaker 1: of has more of a Bourbon Street kind of vibe
- 41:19Speaker 1: to me.
- 41:20Speaker 3: Ooh, yeah, maybe.
- 41:21Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 41:21Speaker 3: And also, you're in this beautiful place at Rogan's Club,
- 41:24Speaker 3: and you're like, ah. It's like a casino. No lights,
- 41:26Speaker 3: no anything. So you're like, I'll see you guys later. Yeah.
- 41:29Speaker 2: What?
- 41:30Speaker 3: And then a rickshaw comes by. Yeah.
- 41:33Speaker 1: Guy's like, you guys want to get in? It's only
- 41:36Speaker 1: $ 50 for some AIDS.
- 41:37Speaker 3: And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. We just want to
- 41:40Speaker 3: go two blocks. He'll be like, I'll get you AIDS
- 41:42Speaker 3: by then. Okay, for sure. I can find some AIDS
- 41:44Speaker 3: for you out here. What's this from? That's an Aztec
- 41:49Speaker 3: death whistle.
- 41:50Speaker 4: The coroner we had on Toby gave it to us.
- 41:54Speaker 4: If you blow it full, it sounds like a woman
- 41:56Speaker 4: screaming for death.
- 41:57Speaker 3: Does it?
- 41:57Speaker 1: Just a warning. Wow.
- 42:01Speaker 3: It sure does. I've heard a few of those in
- 42:02Speaker 3: real life. Keep screaming. No one's here. Yeah, I was
- 42:09Speaker 3: with Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie when it happened. Really?
- 42:11Speaker 3: But I didn't leave any dumb fingerprints like Brian did. Oh.
- 42:16Speaker 3: That's why she sounded. Oh, the darkness. Gabby, rest in peace.
- 42:20Speaker 3: The darkness continues.
- 42:22Speaker 1: Do you think there will ever be, I believe there
- 42:25Speaker 1: will be a time when people will live forever and
- 42:27Speaker 1: people will not. And I believe that kids right now
- 42:30Speaker 1: that are 15 and under, they're going to live forever.
- 42:32Speaker 3: Forever. Like they'll have a chance to live forever. Ooh,
- 42:35Speaker 3: like they might get the drug. But there's gonna be
- 42:38Speaker 3: this weird thing where there's gonna be like.
- 42:42Speaker 1: Hey, can I get it?
- 42:42Speaker 3: Like, no, you're too old. Yeah. So, like, am I
- 42:45Speaker 3: just gonna age out? Like, yeah, it's been nice knowing you.
- 42:47Speaker 3: I'll keep in touch with you for a few years,
- 42:48Speaker 3: but then you're gonna get old.
- 42:51Speaker 1: Yeah, but they're gonna be like, oh, you're gonna die.
- 42:53Speaker 1: People are gonna be like, dude, your dad died? What
- 42:55Speaker 1: a fucking loser.
- 42:57Speaker 3: Was he poor? Yeah.
- 42:59Speaker 1: Oh, man, you guys must have been so poor your
- 43:01Speaker 1: dad died of natural causes.
- 43:04Speaker 3: That's so retro.
- 43:05Speaker 2: Oh, God.
- 43:06Speaker 3: He was a real. Here's my impression of your dad.
- 43:10Speaker 3: Fucking loser. He should have worked harder, bro. Look at Timmy's.
- 43:18Speaker 1: Dad. But that's what's going to happen. I think there's
- 43:20Speaker 1: going to be a cutoff, and the government will probably
- 43:22Speaker 1: say this is the cutoff. There will be some bad
- 43:23Speaker 1: drugs that will come out of people trying to get
- 43:25Speaker 1: the actual drugs.
- 43:26Speaker 3: Yeah, some knockoffs. Or it'll be a chip or something
- 43:28Speaker 3: that you get, and then. Slow down all. Aging. at
- 43:32Speaker 3: the cellular level. I'm in, let's do it.
- 43:34Speaker 1: But then there's gonna be so many people who are not,
- 43:36Speaker 1: and there's gonna be less jobs probably, so it's gonna be,
- 43:39Speaker 1: it's gonna turn very dystopian.
- 43:40Speaker 3: Would you take it if they had it right now?
- 43:41Speaker 3: It's been tested, it's safe. Here are the options. Take
- 43:46Speaker 3: it right now, wait a few years, and decide and
- 43:49Speaker 3: see how it shakes out, or not take it. So
- 43:53Speaker 3: you have to pick really, I gave you one week
- 43:55Speaker 3: to decide. Yeah. And, or, well this won't be for
- 43:59Speaker 3: you as much, but for me, it may be for
- 44:00Speaker 3: you too. It's like you can either take this, live
- 44:03Speaker 3: forever drug, or perfectly workable hair transplants. Full head of hair,
- 44:09Speaker 3: back to Mohawk, back to everything I always wanted. I
- 44:11Speaker 3: might go with the hair.
- 44:13Speaker 1: So hair now or live forever? Yeah, because then I've
- 44:16Speaker 1: got to live forever with that. I think bald's cool now, balder.
- 44:22Speaker 3: Oh, man, spread it. If you've got influence, spread that.
- 44:26Speaker 1: A lot of people are being bald and loving it now.
- 44:30Speaker 2: Really?
- 44:31Speaker 1: There's bald women. I saw a bunch of bald... Fat
- 44:34Speaker 1: people will love it, too.
- 44:35Speaker 3: Really? Yeah, and we know their line of themselves. Is
- 44:38Speaker 3: that a bigger thing, being bald? Yeah, big and beautiful or...
- 44:42Speaker 3: Big and bald. There's like bald and tall. Is that
- 44:44Speaker 3: a shop, bald and tall? Big and tall. Big and tall. Dude, bald...
- 44:48Speaker 3: Bald and tall? Bro, bald and tall is a crazy look, dude.
- 44:52Speaker 3: Do you burn yourself in the sun too much? Bald
- 44:55Speaker 3: and tall is a crazy look.
- 44:56Speaker 2: Yeah. Um....
- 44:59Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you think about Kanye being back on Twitter? Oh,
- 45:02Speaker 1: you try to use your song, right, for the intro
- 45:04Speaker 1: to your new special. Yeah, I've had this whole big
- 45:07Speaker 1: piece about how great he is. That's another thing, focus
- 45:09Speaker 1: on the positive. That's the whole message. And then everyone's like,
- 45:12Speaker 1: Kanye's crazy. I'm like, he rules the music, just the music.
- 45:17Speaker 1: What is she writing about anything other than music? Right,
- 45:19Speaker 1: to come at Kanye, it's like, yeah, if you're trying
- 45:23Speaker 1: to get other stuff out of him, he probably shouldn't
- 45:26Speaker 1: be your liaison to like, anything except maybe creativity and music.
- 45:30Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. It's like going to Bert Kreischer for weight
- 45:32Speaker 3: loss tips. Yeah. Or coming to comedians for political ideas. Oh, yeah,
- 45:37Speaker 3: that's another one. I heard song talks like this about
- 45:39Speaker 3: the Fires. They're not firemen. What the fuck? They're just
- 45:43Speaker 3: like at a bar talking. Yeah. It's crazy.
- 45:45Speaker 2: I know.
- 45:45Speaker 3: You go to Kanye for anything other than music, you're nuts.
- 45:48Speaker 3: Because he's not just okay at the music part. He's
- 45:51Speaker 3: great at it.
- 45:52Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 45:52Speaker 3: So I tried to get one of his songs, Black Skinhead.
- 45:56Speaker 3: For my credits. I was going up to the whole
- 45:58Speaker 3: tour because I was talking about Kanye a lot. And
- 46:01Speaker 3: Christine Oakerson, Big J's chick, was like, hey, I know
- 46:04Speaker 3: he's like popping off like whatever. Have you heard Black Skinhead?
- 46:06Speaker 3: And I was like, no. And I was like, oh
- 46:08Speaker 3: my God. His anti-censors got me into this song. And
- 46:10Speaker 3: I played it the whole fucking tour. And I was like,
- 46:13Speaker 3: let me try to get this for the credits. And
- 46:15Speaker 3: I wrote them. I was like, listen, I can't afford it, right?
- 46:18Speaker 3: So I'm like, hey, I'm appealing to them creatively. And
- 46:20Speaker 3: I was like, hey, I had this whole big piece
- 46:22Speaker 3: about how Kanye's really great. And how people have lost
- 46:25Speaker 3: focus on what's important. And I want to close with
- 46:27Speaker 3: a song. With Black Skin, it was one of his
- 46:29Speaker 3: most killer songs. And I think kind of an underrated song,
- 46:31Speaker 3: to be honest. And they go, I hope you're not
- 46:34Speaker 3: referring to him as Kanye. He goes by Ye now.
- 46:38Speaker 3: And it's like, ah, fuck. I'm never going to go there.
- 46:40Speaker 3: His whole staff is crazy, too. It's like, yeah, just
- 46:44Speaker 3: the fact that that was their first reply. You're like, screw. Oh,
- 46:46Speaker 3: I got no chance. I have no chance. Yeah, I
- 46:51Speaker 3: wonder what his mind is like. I mean, a lot
- 46:53Speaker 3: of his.
- 46:53Speaker 1: I think his mom died.
- 46:54Speaker 3: Give him some sympathy.
- 46:55Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 46:57Speaker 3: Did you... You think he'll have any children already? What
- 46:59Speaker 3: do you think? No, I had a vasectomy. You did? Yeah.
- 47:02Speaker 3: No way. I was taking chances.
- 47:04Speaker 2: You were?
- 47:05Speaker 3: I was taking too many chances. So you were actually
- 47:06Speaker 3: trying to have a child? No. What? Sorry, what are
- 47:12Speaker 3: you saying then? No, I was just pulling out late. Oh,
- 47:14Speaker 3: you were? Yeah. I don't understand how people do that. Like,
- 47:16Speaker 3: how do you... I know a lot of black guys
- 47:19Speaker 3: like to just do.
- 47:22Speaker 1: do the nut or whatever the nut is great i
- 47:24Speaker 1: know why they want it yeah the nut's great yeah
- 47:27Speaker 1: but it's also great outside of it it's less great
- 47:30Speaker 1: is it what do you mean is it i've never
- 47:32Speaker 1: done it i've never ejaculated inside of a woman in
- 47:40Speaker 1: my life then you haven't lived really what is all
- 47:42Speaker 1: this is a facade buddy Just get what you need
- 47:45Speaker 1: to get.
- 47:45Speaker 3: None of this is real. We never said we had
- 47:47Speaker 3: done it. No, but I mean this. All this is
- 47:49Speaker 3: like a fucking, you're just like buying time so you
- 47:51Speaker 3: can get a * * * * pie. This is
- 47:53Speaker 3: all just because you've never * * * * pie'd. Really?
- 47:55Speaker 1: You've got a nut inside, buddy. What do you mean
- 47:57Speaker 1: you've never done it? What do you mean you've never
- 47:59Speaker 1: * * * * pie'd inside of a woman? I've
- 48:01Speaker 1: never had it in my life.
- 48:01Speaker 3: I swear to God. You * * * * though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, why? Oh, yeah. Why, why?
- 48:07Speaker 1: But every time I do, I do the... What if
- 48:10Speaker 1: she's like, I'm on the pill? Oh, that's, I don't,
- 48:12Speaker 1: I barely know her. So I'm not believing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 48:18Speaker 3: You know how many chicks I f * * *
- 48:19Speaker 3: ed that said they couldn't get pregnant that I later
- 48:21Speaker 3: found out got pregnant from somebody? Really? And I was like, wait,
- 48:24Speaker 3: you said I was blowing l * * * s
- 48:26Speaker 3: in you. And they're like, oh, I thought I couldn't.
- 48:28Speaker 3: Based on what?
- 48:29Speaker 1: Oh, you're in there just like one of the Ghostbusters
- 48:32Speaker 1: just throwing ectoplasm in there.
- 48:36Speaker 3: I was a salad for some other guy's steak. Yeah,
- 48:39Speaker 3: I've never done that in my life, man. Well, let
- 48:42Speaker 3: me recommend something to you.
- 48:45Speaker 1: I'm going to end up being a father. People are
- 48:47Speaker 1: always getting, I don't want to be in a lawsuit
- 48:49Speaker 1: or something.
- 48:50Speaker 3: Find some old chick. Find some post-menopausal chick. Get to
- 48:53Speaker 3: me more. I want to get a regular wife that
- 48:57Speaker 3: likes to. The last of the Golden Girls died. It's
- 48:58Speaker 3: too late for that. Estelle Getty? No. Maybe.
- 49:02Speaker 1: Estelle Getty Museum? What was her name? Who was the last?
- 49:06Speaker 1: Betty White?
- 49:07Speaker 4: Betty White.
- 49:07Speaker 3: Estelle Getty was so. She was old when it started. Right,
- 49:11Speaker 3: she was the looker.
- 49:12Speaker 1: Rue McClanahan was the one that everybody, my dad kind
- 49:14Speaker 1: of had hots for.
- 49:15Speaker 3: The youngest of, the slutty one. Yeah, Blanche Devereaux. God,
- 49:19Speaker 3: what a great. series. Hot take, Golden Girls is just
- 49:22Speaker 3: sex in the city. They're both written by gay men
- 49:26Speaker 3: about gay culture, and this one they made old women
- 49:30Speaker 3: play it, and the other one they made fucking horse-faced
- 49:32Speaker 3: chicks play it. Do you think they will cure....
- 49:38Speaker 1: Do you think that being gay will be something that
- 49:40Speaker 1: will be eternal or one day that that will be
- 49:41Speaker 1: hacked or something that we can cure it or that
- 49:44Speaker 1: would be hacked, you know, that there'll be able to
- 49:45Speaker 1: hack the genetic.
- 49:46Speaker 3: So if, if you were a scientist working on the
- 49:49Speaker 3: cure for, for gay and you were like halfway there,
- 49:53Speaker 3: you lost a lot of funding recently. Oh, yeah. They're
- 49:56Speaker 3: probably like, we're not paying. We don't want it anymore.
- 50:01Speaker 3: You don't think there's a small segment of the population.
- 50:04Speaker 3: Like we got to cure this. Everyone else is just like,
- 50:07Speaker 3: who cares?
- 50:08Speaker 1: Oh, I think most people are like, who cares? But
- 50:09Speaker 1: I just mean, maybe cure is not the right word, right?
- 50:12Speaker 1: Do you think that they would, do you think that
- 50:13Speaker 1: they'll ever?
- 50:14Speaker 3: A vaccine. Vaccine, yeah. So you won't ever get it
- 50:16Speaker 3: in the first place. Right, yeah.
- 50:17Speaker 1: He had a kid when he was two. Didn't they
- 50:19Speaker 1: say vaccines made kids gay? Wasn't that a rumor for
- 50:22Speaker 1: a while?
- 50:23Speaker 3: I don't know. We're going to find out soon if
- 50:24Speaker 3: Bobby Kennedy gets in there.
- 50:26Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 50:27Speaker 3: It's so wild.
- 50:27Speaker 1: Say no gay kids after a while? Like, I ended vaccines.
- 50:30Speaker 3: Who knows? So all this stuff he says, people are like,
- 50:32Speaker 3: that's ridiculous.
- 50:33Speaker 1: I'm like, really? I don't even know the words he's using.
- 50:36Speaker 1: He's smarter than me. I don't know shit.
- 50:38Speaker 3: I don't even know the Earth is round. I'm just guessing.
- 50:41Speaker 1: The latest viral COVID-19 conspiracy theory boosted by QAnon falsely
- 50:44Speaker 1: claims vaccines turn children gay or trans. Wow, I didn't
- 50:48Speaker 1: know that. And that's a false allegation that COVID-19. Yeah,
- 50:53Speaker 1: I mean, a lot of kids, I will say, seem
- 50:57Speaker 1: very gay, though.
- 50:58Speaker 3: Do you notice that? Like, if you talk to, like, a...
- 51:00Speaker 3: They're post-gender. Is it? Yeah, they don't care. The man
- 51:03Speaker 3: can wear a dress. Like, you cross-dress him, they're like, what?
- 51:06Speaker 1: What?
- 51:06Speaker 3: When I grew up, you couldn't wear pink as a dude.
- 51:08Speaker 3: You'd be ostracized. There's no gay color. That's where it
- 51:13Speaker 3: passed that. So those kids are past that shit. They're
- 51:15Speaker 3: wearing top hats and skirts. It doesn't matter. It just
- 51:17Speaker 3: doesn't matter. Okay. Yeah.
- 51:19Speaker 1: So, yeah, we see them as gay, but they're like, oh, dude,
- 51:22Speaker 1: we're not even using those terms. Yeah, you're from a
- 51:24Speaker 1: different universe.
- 51:25Speaker 3: That's why. You go to Bushwick or something, and you're like, oh,
- 51:27Speaker 3: this is the cutting edge kids.
- 51:30Speaker 1: I've heard rumors that a lot of Haitians moved over
- 51:32Speaker 1: there to the parks and stuff when we're selling sex
- 51:34Speaker 1: and stuff like that. Have you seen any of that
- 51:36Speaker 1: over there?
- 51:38Speaker 3: Hookers in Bushwick? Yeah, in the parks over there. Selling
- 51:42Speaker 3: their bodies? Yeah, they were selling sex and oral sex
- 51:45Speaker 3: over there. I mean, Haitian, that's not who you'd want.
- 51:51Speaker 3: I mean, who you want is who you want. I
- 51:52Speaker 3: guess it's the, I don't know what the pace, the
- 51:54Speaker 3: rate is. So it's just a bunch of dark black,
- 51:57Speaker 3: very thin hookers. I'll check it out. I haven't heard
- 52:00Speaker 3: anything about that. Yeah, one of my friends was telling
- 52:02Speaker 3: me there's a lot of hookering going on over there
- 52:04Speaker 3: in some of the parks. Haitian hookering. I think they
- 52:07Speaker 3: said Haitian. I would have to ask them. You know
- 52:08Speaker 3: what there is, though, for real, for real?
- 52:09Speaker 2: What?
- 52:10Speaker 3: Casual hooking. Really? Like chicks who do it like three
- 52:12Speaker 3: times a year. Housewives. Regular chicks who are like, for
- 52:16Speaker 3: a little extra cash, I'll hook. What do you mean?
- 52:18Speaker 3: I mean like, oh, your friend seems cute. It's like, hey,
- 52:22Speaker 3: my friend's cute. She likes you. Would you be into
- 52:23Speaker 3: it for like a couple hundred bucks? Like, oh, no.
- 52:28Speaker 3: In New York? Yeah. Huh. Regular chicks just occasionally like, yeah,
- 52:31Speaker 3: I'll fuck for money. The guy seems cool. They're not
- 52:34Speaker 3: going to like on the street taking all callers. Right.
- 52:37Speaker 3: But like occasionally for extra cash instead of driving Uber.
- 52:40Speaker 3: Do they tell the husband? I don't think so. Possibly.
- 52:44Speaker 3: I don't know about a situation.
- 52:46Speaker 1: Would you– there's a thing where people let– Do you
- 52:48Speaker 1: think the Obamas are still together for real?
- 52:49Speaker 3: That's a great question. You think the Clintons are? No. No, right?
- 52:54Speaker 3: So it's a possibility that there are such things as
- 52:57Speaker 3: sham marriages. Yeah, for sure. I wonder.
- 52:59Speaker 1: I wonder.
- 53:01Speaker 3: She didn't show up to the Carter funeral. She didn't
- 53:03Speaker 3: show up to the inauguration. I could see like, hey,
- 53:05Speaker 3: I never wanted to be in the public eye like this. Yeah.
- 53:08Speaker 3: I just wanted a ball. Yeah, dunk on these bitches. Yeah,
- 53:11Speaker 3: that's it. That could be it, you know? Yeah.
- 53:16Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good question. That whole inauguration thing was
- 53:18Speaker 1: just such a game.
- 53:20Speaker 3: You went. Yeah, I had total Game of Thrones energy
- 53:22Speaker 3: over there. What did you think? Because that's not you. Oh,
- 53:25Speaker 3: not at all. You're going there the way I go
- 53:26Speaker 3: to Comic-Con. Yeah. I'll just stare at everybody. That was ridiculous.
- 53:29Speaker 3: I don't know. What's Spider-Man? Oh, I was like, I
- 53:31Speaker 3: should not be here. You should not be there. That's
- 53:34Speaker 3: how I felt. At least you're not doing the endorsing thing.
- 53:37Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 53:37Speaker 1: That a lot of comics are doing. I thought we
- 53:39Speaker 1: were supposed to just make fun of everyone in power.
- 53:40Speaker 1: Do you feel like it was weird that people were endorsing?
- 53:43Speaker 3: Endorsing? Who's endorsing? Yeah.
- 53:45Speaker 1: What the fuck are you talking about? You have a
- 53:47Speaker 1: literal sports team you root for. You don't endorse Tottenham.
- 53:51Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 53:52Speaker 3: Like, it was so wild. But all right, he's in
- 53:55Speaker 3: power now, so let's see everybody go after him.
- 53:58Speaker 1: Well, I think a lot of people were endorsing.
- 54:01Speaker 3: Just make fun of all of them. Yeah. It seemed weird.
- 54:07Speaker 1: Well, I think the biggest thing that seemed like it's
- 54:09Speaker 1: been on the table for me is just the free
- 54:10Speaker 1: speech stuff. You start to worry about, like a lot
- 54:13Speaker 1: of these social media companies, limiting speech, limiting what's possible.
- 54:17Speaker 3: It affects me, for sure.
- 54:18Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 54:18Speaker 3: For sure. So if somebody's like, hey, I want to
- 54:20Speaker 3: do this, I'm like, great, I love it. I also
- 54:22Speaker 3: loved when Trump gave us all $ 600 during the pandemic.
- 54:24Speaker 3: He got everybody really partied in New York. Love that.
- 54:28Speaker 1: Do you worry about, yeah, but I'm not going to
- 54:29Speaker 1: get involved and get into there. But then some of
- 54:32Speaker 1: these guys have a lot of influence, to be honest.
- 54:33Speaker 1: But also they're like, how can you have this guy
- 54:35Speaker 1: on your podcast? I'm like, well, I'll have everybody on.
- 54:37Speaker 1: I had Tucker Carlson on my podcast, the travel one.
- 54:40Speaker 1: We just talked about travel. People are like, why didn't
- 54:41Speaker 1: you call him on his shit? I'm like, was he
- 54:43Speaker 1: lying about the UAE? That's all I care about, the
- 54:45Speaker 1: travel part. I don't want to get involved in this, but.
- 54:49Speaker 1: So I get that part of it. Like, somebody seems interesting.
- 54:52Speaker 1: A former president. I'll have him on a podcast.
- 54:54Speaker 3: Oh, in a heartbeat.
- 54:55Speaker 1: Yeah. People gave me grief for going to the inauguration.
- 54:59Speaker 1: I was like, dude, you don't think I'm going to.
- 55:00Speaker 3: But if you got invited to the, I don't know,
- 55:02Speaker 3: Bush inauguration or the Obama one or the Reagan one,
- 55:05Speaker 3: you would have gone?
- 55:05Speaker 1: Yeah, I would have gone. It's like, oh, I'm not political.
- 55:07Speaker 1: I got invited to the presidential inauguration. Yeah, it's like,
- 55:09Speaker 1: how am I not going to go to inauguration? I
- 55:11Speaker 1: have no idea. What if it's not even real and
- 55:13Speaker 1: there's video? They're just, it's the moon landing.
- 55:16Speaker 3: Who knows? Yeah. So I went and at least saw like, okay.
- 55:19Speaker 3: So what was that right doing? Did it feel like powerful?
- 55:23Speaker 3: Did it feel like these guys are deciding fates? Or
- 55:26Speaker 3: was it just like the Oscars where they're all glad-handing
- 55:28Speaker 3: each other and celebrating success? I guess I didn't get
- 55:31Speaker 3: to be there long enough. Was there food? At the ball,
- 55:36Speaker 3: the food was not good. That fucking broke my heart.
- 55:41Speaker 3: What do you mean? Tony was there. He's like, we
- 55:44Speaker 3: did it. And I'm like, the food isn't good, Tony.
- 55:47Speaker 3: We didn't. We still have room. What do you mean
- 55:50Speaker 3: the food wasn't good? It wasn't that good. And they
- 55:51Speaker 3: only had like 30 chairs in this whole ballroom.
- 55:53Speaker 1: And there was probably 1,500 people in there.
- 55:56Speaker 3: 30 chairs? That's like my house. I have four chairs
- 55:58Speaker 3: and I have eight people over. And it's like, we're
- 56:01Speaker 3: sitting on Amazon boxes. That was the most hectic part.
- 56:04Speaker 1: But yeah, just to be there, to be in Washington, D.C.,
- 56:07Speaker 1: to see that happen, for sure. I was like, Fuck you,
- 56:09Speaker 1: I'm going. I would never be weird. I would never
- 56:11Speaker 1: think it was weird if anybody went.
- 56:12Speaker 3: Is that you there?
- 56:13Speaker 1: No, but pull those people back up. So this was
- 56:15Speaker 1: the part that was fascinating to me. These were, this was.
- 56:18Speaker 1: These are the guys deciding our fates. Who's the brown
- 56:20Speaker 1: in the middle?
- 56:21Speaker 3: This is the oligarchy right here.
- 56:23Speaker 4: Sunder Pichai from Google.
- 56:25Speaker 3: So he owns Google? So these guys all decide how
- 56:28Speaker 3: we think about the world. These one, two, three, one guy,
- 56:33Speaker 3: the chick I'm assuming is cleaning the knob with the
- 56:36Speaker 3: other one. There's Zuckerberg. Yeah, Zuckerberg's the most evil of
- 56:39Speaker 3: all of them. You think? Yeah. Because at first, I
- 56:41Speaker 3: think he was like cigarettes where they didn't know what
- 56:44Speaker 3: they were doing. And then when they found out, so
- 56:46Speaker 3: there's no problem. They're just giving cigarettes. They didn't know
- 56:47Speaker 3: what caused cancer. Then they found out it caused cancer
- 56:49Speaker 3: and they go, hide that shit.
- 56:51Speaker 1: Right.
- 56:51Speaker 3: Zuckerberg at first was like, I don't know. I just,
- 56:53Speaker 3: I'm too autistic to have interactions. So I want to
- 56:55Speaker 3: see a world where we don't have to meet eye
- 56:56Speaker 3: to eye. And now he goes, yeah, he made us
- 57:00Speaker 3: live like autistic people. But then he found out that
- 57:03Speaker 3: we're all fucking turning on each other and cutting off
- 57:06Speaker 3: our uncles. And he goes, yeah, keep pushing it. I
- 57:08Speaker 3: think it should be up. Wow. I think it should
- 57:10Speaker 3: at least be his company taken away from him and
- 57:12Speaker 3: it should be shut down. Facebook and Instagram should be
- 57:15Speaker 3: shut down. Push the button. Well, it's like. It's not
- 57:18Speaker 3: making our society better. Well, I agree with that. But
- 57:21Speaker 3: say I'll say that type of thing.
- 57:22Speaker 1: People will be like, well, a government can't decide what
- 57:24Speaker 1: can and can't make their society better, right?
- 57:27Speaker 3: I think they can. I think that it might be abuse,
- 57:31Speaker 3: but at some point it's like, this is too much bad. Right. Well,
- 57:34Speaker 3: I feel the same way about porn, about porn channels,
- 57:35Speaker 3: you know? Yeah, or like let's have some oversight. Oh, yeah,
- 57:38Speaker 3: porn too. It's like it's nonstop. Like you can't like
- 57:40Speaker 3: push porn to kids, right? They had to stop making
- 57:43Speaker 3: THC gummies that are in the shape of clowns because
- 57:46Speaker 3: they're like, hey, we're not actually giving these to five-year-olds
- 57:48Speaker 3: and you're kind of marketing to five-year-olds.
- 57:50Speaker 1: They had to stop putting– Steve Simone was eating all
- 57:52Speaker 1: of them too, I think. This is a Steve Simone joke.
- 57:56Speaker 3: Love you, buddy.
- 57:57Speaker 1: They had to– yeah, there he goes. Look, he's always smiling.
- 58:00Speaker 3: I know. Where are the bodies? Yeah, he's our Gacy.
- 58:06Speaker 3: He's our John Wayne Gacy. Wow. On the surface, a
- 58:10Speaker 3: kind man. I joke he's the sweetest guy. He is.
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- 1:00:49Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's really bad. You can't just put
- 1:00:52Speaker 3: in additives into fucking baby formula.
- 1:00:55Speaker 1: But why do we keep doing, why do we keep
- 1:00:57Speaker 1: building stuff that's bad? But if people say, well, if
- 1:01:00Speaker 1: your government says you can't, then that's a form of communism, right?
- 1:01:03Speaker 1: Like your government says you can't have this and you
- 1:01:05Speaker 1: can't have it. Because we shouldn't have, I mean, we
- 1:01:07Speaker 1: just had a woman on, we're talking about Pornhub, and
- 1:01:11Speaker 1: extremely high percentage of their content was totally unregulated.
- 1:01:14Speaker 3: So they had....
- 1:01:16Speaker 1: On there, they had unconsensual sex, they had sex with minors,
- 1:01:19Speaker 1: they had sex with on there, on Pornhub.
- 1:01:22Speaker 3: On the website.
- 1:01:23Speaker 1: But their whole goal was just to have as much
- 1:01:25Speaker 1: content as they could have. because then they sell more
- 1:01:27Speaker 1: advertising dollars, because we have this many URLs, we have
- 1:01:30Speaker 1: this many links that people can go to, so they're
- 1:01:33Speaker 1: selling in bulk, but they didn't have anybody, or they
- 1:01:35Speaker 1: had very few people.
- 1:01:37Speaker 3: Moderating any of the content that came through. Yeah, so
- 1:01:39Speaker 3: we have some laws, right? You can't blast music at parks. Right.
- 1:01:42Speaker 3: Because it's kind of infringing on other people's rights, sort
- 1:01:45Speaker 3: of here, you know? There's a privacy, it's quiet. So
- 1:01:48Speaker 3: there's some regulation. I don't understand all this. I don't
- 1:01:50Speaker 3: know what the line is from socialism or not. I
- 1:01:52Speaker 3: don't get any of that. It's not my thing. I
- 1:01:54Speaker 3: just know, like... This is really hurting us as a society,
- 1:01:57Speaker 3: and nobody's doing anything about it. You can't sell guns
- 1:02:00Speaker 3: on a street corner just to anybody. Right.
- 1:02:03Speaker 1: And it's like, well, if it was bad for you,
- 1:02:04Speaker 1: you wouldn't do it.
- 1:02:05Speaker 3: Like, nah. You need someone to step in. As a society,
- 1:02:09Speaker 3: that's not allowed. You're making us hate our brothers and
- 1:02:12Speaker 3: friends and shit.
- 1:02:13Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:02:14Speaker 3: See the world as a terrible place. We didn't sign
- 1:02:16Speaker 3: up for that. I don't like it.
- 1:02:18Speaker 1: Twitter does that a lot, I noticed. Twitter definitely can
- 1:02:21Speaker 1: be a place where you can really get trapped in there.
- 1:02:23Speaker 1: Do you notice that, Nick, you think?
- 1:02:25Speaker 4: Yeah, wake up in the morning and just piss myself
- 1:02:27Speaker 4: off by reading.
- 1:02:27Speaker 3: All the comments. Yeah, and start angry. It's not a
- 1:02:29Speaker 3: good way to start, right? You've been on the beach
- 1:02:31Speaker 3: when you start pleasant. It's a better feeling when you're
- 1:02:35Speaker 3: at the beach than you're on Twitter, showing you what's
- 1:02:37Speaker 3: to be mad about. Yeah. There was a guy who
- 1:02:40Speaker 3: used to work in Google to see which of the
- 1:02:42Speaker 3: things had to go to the dark web and which
- 1:02:44Speaker 3: were allowed. So his whole day was spent looking at
- 1:02:46Speaker 3: snuff films and fucking car crashes and child endangerment and
- 1:02:51Speaker 3: stuff like that. Every one of those guys had to
- 1:02:53Speaker 3: go to therapy for the rest of their lives. Yeah.
- 1:02:55Speaker 3: Because you're not supposed to see that stuff. And we're
- 1:02:57Speaker 3: seeing versions of that. I hate it. I hate it. God, let's...
- 1:03:02Speaker 3: Mark Zuckerberg. I don't think we should do that. I
- 1:03:07Speaker 3: don't know what we should do. Let's Luigi him. But
- 1:03:09Speaker 3: is it just him, though? It's Musk, too. It's anybody
- 1:03:12Speaker 3: who now knows what you're doing to society and you're
- 1:03:14Speaker 3: not doing anything about it. You actually have the power
- 1:03:17Speaker 3: to stop it and you're not doing it.
- 1:03:18Speaker 2: Right.
- 1:03:19Speaker 3: So, like, fuck off.
- 1:03:20Speaker 1: Well, that's the same thing that I noticed with this
- 1:03:21Speaker 1: woman talking about with Pornhub. It was like, They would
- 1:03:24Speaker 1: bring up these cases. There were cases of people who
- 1:03:26Speaker 1: had been in their footage uploaded, right?
- 1:03:28Speaker 3: Oh my God. Oh, and you can't just go, what?
- 1:03:30Speaker 3: It's an open source thing. Like, no, no, you're facilitating it. Right.
- 1:03:33Speaker 1: Right.
- 1:03:33Speaker 3: That's the thing.
- 1:03:34Speaker 1: People are like, well, we, and they, at one point
- 1:03:36Speaker 1: she said they only had one moderator who would spin
- 1:03:39Speaker 1: and something had to be flagged like 15 times before
- 1:03:41Speaker 1: it even comes into, before it even comes into the
- 1:03:43Speaker 1: moderation queue.
- 1:03:43Speaker 3: You're already fucked over.
- 1:03:44Speaker 1: And the moderation queue would be like hundreds of thousands
- 1:03:46Speaker 1: of videos long that they have to sit there. And
- 1:03:48Speaker 1: then there's just one person deciding. Yeah.
- 1:03:50Speaker 3: Adult, not adult, consensual, not consensual. The problem is you
- 1:03:53Speaker 3: start with like they need to have some oversight, they're
- 1:03:55Speaker 3: going to go too far. Yeah. And they're going to
- 1:03:56Speaker 3: make like, well, this joke they had about who's on top,
- 1:03:59Speaker 3: we can't have that. That's not how our society wants that.
- 1:04:01Speaker 3: You're like, that's too far. And I don't know what
- 1:04:03Speaker 3: it is. You can't trust the government to regulate. I
- 1:04:05Speaker 3: don't know what the answer is, but right now it
- 1:04:06Speaker 3: ain't working.
- 1:04:09Speaker 1: Well, and then you wonder, is human society supposed to
- 1:04:13Speaker 1: have this success story or is it a unsuccessful experiment
- 1:04:19Speaker 1: or is it just it is it's like.
- 1:04:20Speaker 3: Pharmaceuticals how to be regulated you can't just give everyone
- 1:04:23Speaker 3: side effects you have to like you have to show
- 1:04:26Speaker 3: your side effects and it barely is right but you
- 1:04:29Speaker 3: have to show your side effects you have to go
- 1:04:33Speaker 3: at the end yeah you have to at least.
- 1:04:35Speaker 1: Do something but then it's like I think people have
- 1:04:37Speaker 1: lost total faith that their country is going to do
- 1:04:39Speaker 1: a lot they're.
- 1:04:39Speaker 3: Not going to do shit they're not going to do
- 1:04:41Speaker 3: shit they're just going to let it go you go
- 1:04:43Speaker 3: to another country you eat like garbage for a week
- 1:04:45Speaker 3: and you lose seven pounds and you're like how's this Oh,
- 1:04:48Speaker 3: there's not that many chemicals in other countries and shit. Right.
- 1:04:52Speaker 1: But I think like, I mean, we talk about it
- 1:04:55Speaker 1: a lot in here, like with the Sackler family, the
- 1:04:56Speaker 1: company that made all the drugs.
- 1:04:58Speaker 3: God damn, and they're still alive. And they're still pushing
- 1:05:01Speaker 3: it to people. You should do Oxy. You should get
- 1:05:03Speaker 3: on Oxy for pain. My dad had to get on something.
- 1:05:06Speaker 3: I go, don't take that. Take ibuprofen. Don't take, you can't,
- 1:05:09Speaker 3: if you get cooked on it, you can't kick it.
- 1:05:11Speaker 3: They're still selling Oxycontin? Oh yeah, they're still, doctors are
- 1:05:13Speaker 3: still pushing it. They're incentivized to financially.
- 1:05:17Speaker 1: Who's even making money? Is it just to go back
- 1:05:19Speaker 1: to pay for victims?
- 1:05:23Speaker 3: Oh, they're not paying those bills. Those fines, they're not
- 1:05:26Speaker 3: paying those. Really? Yeah, same thing with PG & E.
- 1:05:29Speaker 3: All the forest fires, half of them were caused by
- 1:05:31Speaker 3: PG & E not doing the safety measures. Look at
- 1:05:34Speaker 3: how many forest fires in California are started by the utilities.
- 1:05:37Speaker 3: Hold on. Let's get this really quick. Okay.
- 1:05:39Speaker 1: Purdue Pharma, Sackler Families, boost contribution in opioid settlement to $ 7.
- 1:05:43Speaker 3: 4 billion.
- 1:05:45Speaker 1: The company and the once-prominent family behind the drug, OxyContin,
- 1:05:49Speaker 1: agreed Thursday to increase their financial contribution to resolve mass
- 1:05:52Speaker 1: opioid litigation. The Sackler and Purdue Pharma boosted their settlement
- 1:05:55Speaker 1: contribution to $ 7.
- 1:05:56Speaker 3: 4 billion. If approved, the new plan would end the
- 1:05:58Speaker 3: costliest corporate bankruptcy resulting from the U.S. opioid crisis. So
- 1:06:02Speaker 3: that's going to be $ 7. 4 billion over the next 15 years.
- 1:06:04Speaker 3: How much do they make a year? Go back. This
- 1:06:07Speaker 3: is the same thing as like.
- 1:06:08Speaker 1: Scroll, scroll. Under the new settlement, the terms of Sackler's
- 1:06:11Speaker 1: control of Purdue Pharma ends, the $ 7.
- 1:06:14Speaker 3: 4 billion. Oh, they have to give up the company.
- 1:06:16Speaker 3: Will go directly to communities across the U.S., including states, counties, cities,
- 1:06:19Speaker 3: and territories over the next 15 years. Well, that's good.
- 1:06:22Speaker 3: That's good.
- 1:06:23Speaker 4: But even this headline is like, oh, they decided to
- 1:06:26Speaker 4: boost their contribution to the lawsuit.
- 1:06:28Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:06:29Speaker 4: Even though they killed hundreds of thousands of people.
- 1:06:32Speaker 3: Yeah, all the Gulf oil spills, they paid this big fine.
- 1:06:35Speaker 3: It was still less money than it would have been
- 1:06:36Speaker 3: to do the safety measures.
- 1:06:38Speaker 1: Right.
- 1:06:38Speaker 3: So they're like, it seems like a big number, but
- 1:06:40Speaker 3: not compared to what they're making. There was a time
- 1:06:43Speaker 3: when if I got a parking ticket, it would break me.
- 1:06:45Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 1:06:46Speaker 3: And now I've seen rich people like, I'll park here.
- 1:06:48Speaker 3: It's like a legal park. It's like, it's fine. I'll
- 1:06:50Speaker 3: just park here. Yeah, it's fine. If somebody takes a car,
- 1:06:52Speaker 3: I'll just buy a new car. Yeah, Chris Rock, instead
- 1:06:54Speaker 3: of pulling into the lot, would just park in front.
- 1:06:57Speaker 3: And they're like, they might give you a ticket. He goes,
- 1:06:58Speaker 3: I don't care. It's $ 80. And I'm a millionaire. He
- 1:07:02Speaker 3: doesn't care.
- 1:07:02Speaker 1: Dang.
- 1:07:03Speaker 3: It's not going to de-incentivize him. Oh, look at this.
- 1:07:07Speaker 1: So this is a wildfire that's caused by power lines. Okay,
- 1:07:10Speaker 1: so why are we looking at this?
- 1:07:12Speaker 3: I'm saying they're supposed to worry about safety measures.
- 1:07:15Speaker 1: They don't. We fine them. They don't pay the fines.
- 1:07:19Speaker 1: Look at all those fires caused by that. And then
- 1:07:23Speaker 1: they just don't do anything because they know, what are
- 1:07:25Speaker 1: you going to do? Not use us? You're going to
- 1:07:27Speaker 1: all be in the dark for fucking years?
- 1:07:29Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you going to use, a candle? Hundreds
- 1:07:31Speaker 3: of forest fires. Maybe thousands by PG & E, and
- 1:07:35Speaker 3: they won't do shit. So that's the government's not doing shit.
- 1:07:38Speaker 3: It's like, why even pay attention to any of it?
- 1:07:41Speaker 1: Yeah, what are you going to be? You're just going
- 1:07:42Speaker 1: to use Yankee candles all day? Dude, some of the
- 1:07:46Speaker 1: candle smells have gotten crazy.
- 1:07:48Speaker 3: It's really upping it. That's what makes you hopeful. The
- 1:07:50Speaker 3: candle game, it's bar none. There's shapes and everything. I
- 1:07:54Speaker 3: saw a candle dick in Washington Square Park. Really? And
- 1:07:56Speaker 3: they lit it up? Yeah. No, you can't. Oh, but
- 1:07:59Speaker 3: I don't know what the smell is. I never lit
- 1:08:00Speaker 3: it up. I have one though in my house. I'm good. Yeah.
- 1:08:02Speaker 3: They have somebody of a guy trying to smoke his
- 1:08:04Speaker 3: own dick or whatever.
- 1:08:05Speaker 1: He's laying on his back, pulled his nut, like brought
- 1:08:07Speaker 1: his legs over his head, tried to put his penis
- 1:08:10Speaker 1: in his mouth and try to light his nuts.
- 1:08:11Speaker 3: Like he was like in a bowl of weed. How'd
- 1:08:14Speaker 3: he do? Huh? How'd he do? The video cuts off early,
- 1:08:18Speaker 3: but just unreal behavior.
- 1:08:20Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:08:21Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying?
- 1:08:22Speaker 1: That's one vote for Trump right there. Did you get
- 1:08:25Speaker 1: to say anything to him? Like, you should take care
- 1:08:26Speaker 1: of this?
- 1:08:27Speaker 3: Is it Trump? Yeah, I always have this dream. Like,
- 1:08:29Speaker 3: there's an outside possibility I can run into him. Oh, yeah.
- 1:08:32Speaker 3: It's an outside possibility.
- 1:08:33Speaker 1: And I'm like, if we all got to be like, hey,
- 1:08:36Speaker 1: I just want two things to do, what would you
- 1:08:40Speaker 1: hit him with?
- 1:08:41Speaker 3: Two things to do in the world?
- 1:08:42Speaker 1: Yeah, in America, anything. I would probably say sentence the
- 1:08:46Speaker 1: Sackler family to death, I think.
- 1:08:48Speaker 3: I like it.
- 1:08:48Speaker 1: That would be probably my favorite thing about crime. And
- 1:08:50Speaker 1: that would put other people like, I mean, you grew
- 1:08:52Speaker 1: up in a town that's fucked by this. Well, yeah,
- 1:08:56Speaker 1: most of America. I mean, just the AA rooms alone,
- 1:08:58Speaker 1: you see so many more people that aren't alcoholics.
- 1:09:00Speaker 3: Alcoholics.
- 1:09:00Speaker 1: They're opioid addicts. From pain relief straight to heroin. And
- 1:09:04Speaker 1: it's a different thing. It's like the AA program helps them,
- 1:09:07Speaker 1: but it's not the same. It's like these people, their
- 1:09:10Speaker 1: database has been compromised and– Altered there didn't there I
- 1:09:16Speaker 1: don't know if can opioids affect your genetic makeup over time.
- 1:09:19Speaker 1: Can they alter lose teeth? Your DNA, yeah, they can
- 1:09:22Speaker 1: definitely alter your fucking DNA. Your grill is affected, but sure.
- 1:09:26Speaker 3: Your grin.
- 1:09:26Speaker 1: But yeah, yes, opioids can alter DNA, which may contribute
- 1:09:32Speaker 1: to opioid use disorder, these changes. So then you're not
- 1:09:35Speaker 1: even talking to a human then. You're dealing with someone
- 1:09:37Speaker 1: who's been compromised by a drug.
- 1:09:39Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they're not people anymore. And why is this
- 1:09:41Speaker 3: not being talked about all the time? Every city in America,
- 1:09:44Speaker 3: Democrat and Republican, are failing under this, and no one's
- 1:09:47Speaker 3: doing shit about it.
- 1:09:48Speaker 1: That's not even what I tell them. At least they
- 1:09:51Speaker 1: stopped them from doing it. But now they have another
- 1:09:53Speaker 1: new anti... What's that? There's a new opioid I just
- 1:09:55Speaker 1: saw that they were putting up.
- 1:09:58Speaker 3: You think they just rebranded and came back? Like a
- 1:10:00Speaker 3: college bar that gets busted for underage. And they go,
- 1:10:02Speaker 3: it's a new name now. It's my brother runs it.
- 1:10:05Speaker 3: It's a different company. Oh, that's the best.
- 1:10:09Speaker 1: Bro, when I was in college, they had this group
- 1:10:10Speaker 1: of gay fellas that would come and they'd fist fight.
- 1:10:13Speaker 1: It was called... I've said it before. We'll beep this
- 1:10:16Speaker 1: part out. But it's called Fist Fights, right? And it
- 1:10:18Speaker 1: was their company. They came. It was gay men would come.
- 1:10:22Speaker 1: You pay five bucks, go there, you get a beer,
- 1:10:24Speaker 1: and you get to watch fights. And they would beat
- 1:10:26Speaker 1: the living shit out of each other, dude.
- 1:10:28Speaker 3: Wow. Pretty cool. In Texas, they have a bunch of
- 1:10:32Speaker 3: midget wrestling. Yeah. And it's just like signs for it.
- 1:10:35Speaker 3: It's not like a hidden back room thing.
- 1:10:37Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:10:39Speaker 3: It's a cockfighting of the. Have you ever been to
- 1:10:41Speaker 3: a cockfight? Have I ever been to a cockfight? No.
- 1:10:43Speaker 1: But there is midget versus rooster or whatever.
- 1:10:47Speaker 2: Oh.
- 1:10:47Speaker 3: Right near the border. How about midget versus gay? We
- 1:10:50Speaker 3: gotta make odds on all these things. Three midgets, two gays.
- 1:10:53Speaker 3: You know, what's the like over under? Ooh, three midgets
- 1:10:56Speaker 3: versus two gays? And then what kind of gays are
- 1:10:58Speaker 3: we talking about? Is it like luck of the draw?
- 1:11:00Speaker 1: Yeah, are you talking Ariana Grande fans or are you
- 1:11:02Speaker 1: talking like hardcore?
- 1:11:06Speaker 3: Mateo can take somebody. He's strong enough. Yeah, he's very strong. Yeah,
- 1:11:10Speaker 3: but can he fight? And can he fight down? I
- 1:11:14Speaker 3: bet he could. He gotta be able to overcut.
- 1:11:16Speaker 1: I think he auditioned for Newsies and got pretty far.
- 1:11:18Speaker 3: So I bet he could. Dude, don't pick that fight.
- 1:11:23Speaker 3: You're not gonna win that.
- 1:11:24Speaker 2: Oh.
- 1:11:24Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna win this, fucking. Is that Carlos Mencia?
- 1:11:29Speaker 1: Why does he dress like Carlos Mencia? Is that crazy
- 1:11:31Speaker 1: to say that?
- 1:11:32Speaker 3: He looks a little like Shane in the face. He's
- 1:11:34Speaker 3: dressed like Mencia, and he's got a face like Shane.
- 1:11:38Speaker 3: Shane Gillis? Yeah. How can you even see that's in
- 1:11:41Speaker 3: eight pixels? Wait, wait, he turns. Let me see when
- 1:11:43Speaker 3: he turns. Pause it when he turns and we see
- 1:11:45Speaker 3: his face.
- 1:11:45Speaker 2: There. Shane, bro.
- 1:11:48Speaker 3: That's Shane, bro. That's Shane, bro. He's one of my friends.
- 1:11:51Speaker 3: That's Shane. Tell me it's not. Okay.
- 1:11:54Speaker 1: Look at that chicken from Five Nights.
- 1:12:01Speaker 3: That's a new commercial right there. That's him.
- 1:12:09Speaker 1: Wow, that's great, dude. He's wearing an Eagles hat. That
- 1:12:13Speaker 1: is so great. Oh, that's great. What, uh, what were
- 1:12:18Speaker 1: we just talking about? Oh, but what's the new drug?
- 1:12:20Speaker 1: You see it, Nick?
- 1:12:21Speaker 4: This is a non-opioid that was just.
- 1:12:23Speaker 3: Yeah, there we go.
- 1:12:24Speaker 1: FDA approved novel non-opioid treatment for moderate to severe acute pain.
- 1:12:27Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I need. Yeah, this just happened.
- 1:12:29Speaker 1: Jurnavix, J-O-U-R-N-A-V-X, is the first drug to be approved in
- 1:12:33Speaker 1: this new class of pain management medicines. 50 milligram oral tablets,
- 1:12:37Speaker 1: a first in-class non-opioid analgesic to treat moderate to severe
- 1:12:42Speaker 1: acute pain in adults. But wouldn't you just get addicted
- 1:12:45Speaker 1: using this? But does that mean you don't?
- 1:12:46Speaker 3: But it's non-opioid. Maybe it's not addictive. That's what I'm wondering.
- 1:12:49Speaker 3: Do you not feel? Like melatonin, you know, which helps
- 1:12:52Speaker 3: you go to sleep? Not melatonin. Melatonin? Yeah. But then, like,
- 1:12:55Speaker 3: sleeping pills would become addictive. Melatonin's like, it's fine. So
- 1:12:59Speaker 3: there's not opioids in here? What the fuck's an opioid, too?
- 1:13:04Speaker 3: Targeting a pain signaling pathway.
- 1:13:05Speaker 1: So unlike opioids, which act on receptors in the brain,
- 1:13:09Speaker 1: Gernavix works by targeting a pain signaling pathway involving sodium
- 1:13:14Speaker 1: channels in the peripheral nervous system.
- 1:13:16Speaker 3: A lot of words I didn't know in that. Yeah.
- 1:13:18Speaker 1: Blocking pain signals before they reach the brain. So it's
- 1:13:21Speaker 1: stopping the signals instead of the receptors in the brain.
- 1:13:25Speaker 3: Oh, this is like the difference between LimeWire and Napster. Yeah.
- 1:13:28Speaker 3: It's like pretty much the same, but it works different.
- 1:13:31Speaker 3: That's a good comparison. Thanks.
- 1:13:33Speaker 1: Evidence of non-addictive properties. Clinical data showed no evidence of
- 1:13:37Speaker 1: withdrawal or drug-seeking behaviors in patients.
- 1:13:39Speaker 3: That's it.
- 1:13:40Speaker 2: Right.
- 1:13:41Speaker 3: The drug does not activate opioid receptors or induce euphoria. Well,
- 1:13:45Speaker 3: they said the thing with oxycodone, whatever, was that they
- 1:13:48Speaker 3: were like, well, what about getting off it? We haven't
- 1:13:50Speaker 3: seen any problem with that. And they go, did you
- 1:13:53Speaker 3: test for that? And they go, no, we did not.
- 1:13:56Speaker 3: And so it's like, how do you know how hard
- 1:13:57Speaker 3: it is to withdraw? You've never tested it.
- 1:14:00Speaker 1: Meanwhile, people are just fucking sleeping in fucking baby beds
- 1:14:03Speaker 1: and shit, adults.
- 1:14:04Speaker 3: God, those lean backs are fucking crazy right now.
- 1:14:07Speaker 1: Opioids are a class of drugs that interact with opioid
- 1:14:09Speaker 1: receptors in the brain and body to reduce pain perception
- 1:14:12Speaker 1: and produce various effects that can be natural, semi-synthetic, or
- 1:14:15Speaker 1: synthetic chemicals.
- 1:14:19Speaker 3: There you go. Well, I don't know, but yeah, they
- 1:14:21Speaker 3: got to do something. That's a good one to tell them. Yeah.
- 1:14:25Speaker 3: Because once you have the rest, let's get approval for
- 1:14:28Speaker 3: this first.
- 1:14:29Speaker 1: Yeah, people will start to, I think, be a little
- 1:14:30Speaker 1: bit unnoticed. There will be some sort of, yeah, because
- 1:14:33Speaker 1: they're serial killers. I don't understand how they were not.
- 1:14:36Speaker 3: They're serial killers. They're mass murderers. And they go, well,
- 1:14:38Speaker 3: it's a company. Yeah. You know what they did in China?
- 1:14:42Speaker 3: They were testing for purity for baby formula. And so
- 1:14:45Speaker 3: one company put an additive in to make it test
- 1:14:47Speaker 3: pure to go from like 96 to 99. But that
- 1:14:51Speaker 3: additive ended up killing 12 babies. Yeah. And the government
- 1:14:56Speaker 3: found out. There's no bureaucracy there. They hung the board. Wow.
- 1:15:01Speaker 3: The whole board. And they're like, no, the company has it. No,
- 1:15:03Speaker 3: you guys killed babies. Is that true?
- 1:15:05Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:15:07Speaker 3: So it's like, we're done with this. Yeah, I want
- 1:15:10Speaker 3: to see that. You can't break the law and kill babies.
- 1:15:15Speaker 3: You're out. You're out. And hopefully this will be a
- 1:15:17Speaker 3: sign to everybody else. There's enough Chinese. They might not
- 1:15:20Speaker 3: have been the ones. They might have been different ones.
- 1:15:22Speaker 3: Come on, Theo. I'll say this.
- 1:15:25Speaker 1: If you show me 40 Chinese, dude, I don't know
- 1:15:29Speaker 1: how I'd feel. You're just calling the same one over
- 1:15:33Speaker 1: and over again?
- 1:15:33Speaker 3: Be honest.
- 1:15:34Speaker 1: Well, it's kind of like this one time this lady
- 1:15:36Speaker 1: paid us to go get her cats in her yard
- 1:15:38Speaker 1: or whatever, and she was very old, and she would
- 1:15:40Speaker 1: give us, I think, a quarter for each cat that
- 1:15:41Speaker 1: we brought in. Yeah. And me and my buddy William
- 1:15:44Speaker 1: just kept bringing the same two cats in over and
- 1:15:46Speaker 1: over again.
- 1:15:48Speaker 3: When I had to get my visa to play China,
- 1:15:50Speaker 3: I went in there, and they're like, what are you
- 1:15:51Speaker 3: doing there? I'm like, I'm working. I got gigs. I'm like,
- 1:15:53Speaker 3: you're working? Where's your letter of invitation from the government?
- 1:15:55Speaker 3: Where's your $ 50, 000? And I'm like, I don't know. It's
- 1:16:00Speaker 3: like early when you go to China. I mean, Canada,
- 1:16:02Speaker 3: you have to tell them you're just visiting a friend. Yeah.
- 1:16:04Speaker 3: It was that, too. I didn't realize. So I called
- 1:16:06Speaker 3: the promoters. I was like, what do I do? They go,
- 1:16:09Speaker 3: only Bieber can afford the proper channels to play China.
- 1:16:12Speaker 3: Go back in there and tell them you're just there
- 1:16:13Speaker 3: to see the Great Wall. And I'm like, but I
- 1:16:16Speaker 3: was just in there. And he goes, so you know
- 1:16:18Speaker 3: how we can't tell them apart? It's a two-way street. No.
- 1:16:21Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:16:21Speaker 3: He goes, just go right. Try not to go to
- 1:16:23Speaker 3: that window. But if you do, it won't matter. And
- 1:16:26Speaker 3: I got called in that window. She goes, hi, how
- 1:16:27Speaker 3: you doing? I thought she was fucking with me. I'm like,
- 1:16:29Speaker 3: here to do some traveling in China. Okay. That was it. Damn.
- 1:16:35Speaker 3: Did you go with the same group that I went with?
- 1:16:37Speaker 1: Did you go to?
- 1:16:38Speaker 3: I didn't go with that Lee guy. I went with
- 1:16:41Speaker 3: Turner Sparks and Andy Curtain. No, it was a different group,
- 1:16:45Speaker 3: I think.
- 1:16:46Speaker 1: That was one of the best things about doing comedy, man,
- 1:16:48Speaker 1: was just the places you got to go.
- 1:16:50Speaker 3: You couldn't afford it. No. And you just never would
- 1:16:53Speaker 3: have been able to do it. And it flew you
- 1:16:55Speaker 3: to fucking Suzhou, China, Guangxi, and all these places. You're like,
- 1:16:59Speaker 3: dick jokes are paying for this. Yeah. It was wild.
- 1:17:03Speaker 3: And you meet the local scenes. I'm like, there's a
- 1:17:05Speaker 3: comedy scene in Hong Kong? That was the best, man.
- 1:17:08Speaker 3: It was so cool. Iceland.
- 1:17:09Speaker 1: You're going to Australia and just weird spots. Yeah, we
- 1:17:12Speaker 1: went to one right there. That's Guantanamo Bay. You played
- 1:17:14Speaker 1: Guantanamo Bay. Yeah, with Mike.
- 1:17:17Speaker 3: That's in Cuba? Yeah, who's that guy on the right guy?
- 1:17:21Speaker 3: Jewish guy, too. Mike... E? No.
- 1:17:25Speaker 1: Smoothie?
- 1:17:26Speaker 3: Mike... Is that Mike Costa with us? Patrick DeGear. That's Costa. Yeah,
- 1:17:33Speaker 3: it looks like Costa. Patrick DeGear, Mike Costa.
- 1:17:35Speaker 1: Who's Patrick DeGear?
- 1:17:36Speaker 3: The blind one. Oh, yeah, Patrick DeGear. Yeah, he's blind.
- 1:17:39Speaker 3: That's you on the left?
- 1:17:40Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:17:41Speaker 3: Damn. I had good hair back then. Look how angry
- 1:17:44Speaker 3: your hair is. Yeah, zoom in on it, man.
- 1:17:46Speaker 1: And that kid never n * * * ed inside
- 1:17:47Speaker 1: a chick?
- 1:17:48Speaker 2: Never.
- 1:17:48Speaker 3: What an idiot. That's a n * * * a.
- 1:17:52Speaker 3: That's a n * * * a. That was his time. Bro,
- 1:17:55Speaker 3: he n * * * ed in his shampoo bottle
- 1:17:57Speaker 3: a few times. You never won a title on your prime. Yeah.
- 1:18:00Speaker 1: Wow.
- 1:18:02Speaker 3: Fuck, I was young as fuck, bitch. Damn. I was
- 1:18:06Speaker 3: doing good. You look like Dane Cook there. Yeah, bro.
- 1:18:10Speaker 3: Dane and Shane. Get that off the ground. Come on, NBC.
- 1:18:14Speaker 3: Make a comeback. So you just went all over. Look
- 1:18:16Speaker 3: at that.
- 1:18:16Speaker 1: That's the Guantanamo Bay Lighthouse behind you. Went to Guantanamo Bay.
- 1:18:20Speaker 1: Isn't it so fucking cool you can go out places
- 1:18:22Speaker 1: like that?
- 1:18:22Speaker 2: Crazy.
- 1:18:23Speaker 1: Went to the A. Dude, Guantanamo Bay, I didn't realize,
- 1:18:25Speaker 1: first of all, nice golf courses there.
- 1:18:29Speaker 3: Underrated. You'd never know it. We got to see the
- 1:18:31Speaker 3: prisoners play some volleyball. Wow, really? Yeah. Did you play
- 1:18:33Speaker 3: in your jeans and no shirt like in Top Gun? No,
- 1:18:36Speaker 3: they wouldn't let us get that close to them or whatever.
- 1:18:38Speaker 3: And some of them had blindfolds on or whatever, but
- 1:18:40Speaker 3: they were still playing. Unbelievable. Just to do like to
- 1:18:43Speaker 3: get out in the yard or whatever and have a... Oh,
- 1:18:45Speaker 3: the prisoners. Yeah.
- 1:18:47Speaker 2: Oh.
- 1:18:48Speaker 3: Yeah, they had these... They could play volleyball?
- 1:18:52Speaker 1: Iguanas down there, foxes, rodents, unique animals. They had a beach,
- 1:18:59Speaker 1: this thing called Glass Beach.
- 1:19:00Speaker 3: It had all this... It used to be glass, but
- 1:19:02Speaker 3: it all was rounded out now. From the tides? Where
- 1:19:06Speaker 3: else did they send you? Where else did you go? Azores.
- 1:19:08Speaker 3: We went to the Azores, which is somewhere. I don't know.
- 1:19:11Speaker 3: Is that Portugal? Yes. Off the coast of Portugal, between
- 1:19:14Speaker 3: Portugal and America. Pretty amazing. What about you? I just
- 1:19:19Speaker 3: remember I saw Paul Morrissey today. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Three-point Paul.
- 1:19:23Speaker 3: He's a basketball player, too. He's great. We got flown
- 1:19:27Speaker 3: to Switzerland, Montreux, Switzerland, for a festival.
- 1:19:29Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:19:30Speaker 3: And we made a deal with each other. Let's keep
- 1:19:32Speaker 3: going places. We had Iceland, Australia, but the China gigs,
- 1:19:36Speaker 3: those weird gigs, Dominican Republic. And you're just like, I'm
- 1:19:39Speaker 3: Dominican Republic?
- 1:19:40Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
- 1:19:40Speaker 3: And you're just here on their dime. The Anchorage gigs. Oh,
- 1:19:45Speaker 3: I never did that. Those were good. They take you
- 1:19:46Speaker 3: on either a thing above the glaciers or deep sea fishing.
- 1:19:51Speaker 3: Me and David Taylor were deep sea fishing. We cut
- 1:19:52Speaker 3: one open right there. It had all these dots in it.
- 1:19:54Speaker 3: He's like, what's that? He's like, well, it's eggs. It's pregnant,
- 1:19:57Speaker 3: so it's eggs. And he goes, is that caviar? I
- 1:19:59Speaker 3: was like, yeah. Can you eat those raw? Yeah, you
- 1:20:02Speaker 3: can eat them. He showed us and ate it. And
- 1:20:04Speaker 3: David was like, I'll have some right out of the thing.
- 1:20:06Speaker 3: Every pregnant one we found, David just started filling up
- 1:20:09Speaker 3: on it. Did he get sick? So sick. You're not
- 1:20:12Speaker 3: supposed to fill up on caviar on a boat. Yeah, dude.
- 1:20:15Speaker 3: Especially when you're poor.
- 1:20:17Speaker 1: You can barely afford a burrito, and you're eating fresh
- 1:20:19Speaker 1: out of the womb caviar. Bro, if somebody brought caviar
- 1:20:23Speaker 1: to me, I'd fucking- Served in a womb. I'd fucking
- 1:20:28Speaker 1: serve a sword to their neck, dude. You can't fucking
- 1:20:30Speaker 1: eat caviar if you're poor, dude.
- 1:20:32Speaker 3: Yeah, that doesn't go. Your stomach's like, chill out, fag.
- 1:20:36Speaker 3: You know, your system can't handle it. God, those gigs
- 1:20:41Speaker 3: were good. They just fly out somewhere and it was
- 1:20:42Speaker 3: just like on their dime. And you're just like, they
- 1:20:45Speaker 3: cover the hotel. They let you know where to stay.
- 1:20:47Speaker 3: There's no arranging. You never made any money. Yeah, right.
- 1:20:51Speaker 3: But it was just like broke even. Maybe. But then
- 1:20:53Speaker 3: like you're living like on a vacation to the level
- 1:20:56Speaker 3: I can barely afford now. Yeah. All covered. It was
- 1:21:00Speaker 3: so cool.
- 1:21:01Speaker 1: Dude, we went one time to, what's the blue stuff
- 1:21:04Speaker 1: that they put in drinks?
- 1:21:07Speaker 3: They put it in like a. Oh, Curacao? Yes. Boom.
- 1:21:14Speaker 3: That place. It's an island.
- 1:21:15Speaker 2: Oh.
- 1:21:16Speaker 3: So we went there. You went there on comedy? Yes.
- 1:21:20Speaker 3: Zoom out from the map. I want to see where
- 1:21:21Speaker 3: this is on the map. Go and then slowly zoom out.
- 1:21:24Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:21:25Speaker 3: Yeah. Night near Bonaire. Okay.
- 1:21:27Speaker 2: Out, out, out.
- 1:21:28Speaker 3: Where the fuck is this? They keep moving this place.
- 1:21:29Speaker 3: I really don't know what content it is yet.
- 1:21:30Speaker 1: Me neither.
- 1:21:32Speaker 3: Okay, in the Caribbean. Every couple years, they move this
- 1:21:34Speaker 3: place somewhere else. It's like the Isle of Most. We went.
- 1:21:37Speaker 3: Go look at a picture of it. Dude, it is
- 1:21:38Speaker 3: like a small place.
- 1:21:40Speaker 1: There's only one area that has a few buildings, and
- 1:21:43Speaker 1: then there's this military base there, but they manufacture this
- 1:21:46Speaker 1: blue liqueur there.
- 1:21:49Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the area. It's very small. It's beautiful.
- 1:21:51Speaker 1: It's beautiful, but there's nothing. I mean, this is it, right?
- 1:21:55Speaker 1: And then we went to this military place. I think
- 1:21:57Speaker 1: we did a show, and then they had.
- 1:22:01Speaker 1: They put us up in these rooms, and you go
- 1:22:03Speaker 1: into the facility where the rooms were, and it just
- 1:22:06Speaker 1: kind of looked like a– almost like a community college
- 1:22:11Speaker 1: type of– or like an old high school, just like
- 1:22:13Speaker 1: the cinder block kind of wall with painted over and stuff.
- 1:22:16Speaker 1: Then we opened the door to this one room, and
- 1:22:18Speaker 1: it was– The most eccentric, craziest.
- 1:22:22Speaker 3: Room I'd ever been in. Dulled up?
- 1:22:25Speaker 1: Yes. I think fancy operatives or somebody came down there
- 1:22:29Speaker 1: every once in a while and they put them up
- 1:22:30Speaker 1: in this crazy place and probably get them some chicks
- 1:22:32Speaker 1: or whatever.
- 1:22:33Speaker 3: But it was unbelievable.
- 1:22:36Speaker 1: We went with cheerleaders from Houston Texans cheerleaders.
- 1:22:41Speaker 3: What?
- 1:22:41Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 1:22:42Speaker 3: That's when you would have nutted.
- 1:22:43Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:22:44Speaker 3: Should have. Who's that? That's the room I was in.
- 1:22:46Speaker 1: Wow.
- 1:22:47Speaker 3: Me and Jay Davis were in it.
- 1:22:48Speaker 1: That is crazy. But every other room was normal, and
- 1:22:51Speaker 1: then they had this one room that was crazy. It
- 1:22:53Speaker 1: had mirrored ceilings, heavy cocaine vibes, me.
- 1:22:56Speaker 3: And Jay Davis. Yeah, that's a coke vibe for sure.
- 1:22:59Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:23:00Speaker 1: It was just crazy. There was me and him just
- 1:23:03Speaker 1: wishing we had some women. Are you in shape there?
- 1:23:06Speaker 3: I was in shape. God damn, bro. Wait, what? Yeah.
- 1:23:11Speaker 3: That's you on the left. I used to jerk myself off.
- 1:23:14Speaker 3: That's how good looking I was. Damn, dude. You need
- 1:23:17Speaker 3: to lower those pants a little bit. Show that V. What?
- 1:23:20Speaker 3: Who is that? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Bama. BLM, dude.
- 1:23:26Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on over there. But that
- 1:23:29Speaker 1: was pretty amazing. That's cool. But yeah, going places like
- 1:23:32Speaker 1: that was unbelievable. Military, you ever do any of the
- 1:23:35Speaker 1: ones where you were in like Iraq?
- 1:23:36Speaker 3: No, I just had Nate and Louis Katz and Joe
- 1:23:40Speaker 3: List on my podcast about going to Kuwait with a
- 1:23:44Speaker 3: stopover in Istanbul. And it's just like that same thing
- 1:23:47Speaker 3: of like, what are we doing here? It's all paid
- 1:23:49Speaker 3: for and set up. Yeah, that was crazy. And you
- 1:23:52Speaker 3: just saw, you were like, this is crazy. Because when
- 1:23:54Speaker 3: you grow up, you're like, I'll probably never go there, ever,
- 1:23:57Speaker 3: let alone on someone else's dime. Yeah, they had a
- 1:24:01Speaker 3: woman in a black, they had a woman gave me
- 1:24:04Speaker 3: a BJ and a Blackhawk, gave me a BJ and
- 1:24:08Speaker 3: a Blackhawk on the ground on a, on. They arranged
- 1:24:12Speaker 3: that for you? No, she arranged it. Okay, okay. She
- 1:24:16Speaker 3: arranged it.
- 1:24:16Speaker 1: And she said, oh, the airfield is unattended or something tonight.
- 1:24:22Speaker 3: But yeah, pretty cool. And then what else? Oh, another time. Wait, wait, wait. Wow.
- 1:24:30Speaker 2: I know.
- 1:24:30Speaker 3: Pretty neat. I think that was in like. Did she
- 1:24:32Speaker 3: hold your hand and make a man out of you?
- 1:24:33Speaker 3: I don't know what happened. Wait, you got a blowjob
- 1:24:37Speaker 3: in a Black Hawk helicopter. Pretty cool. Did she leave
- 1:24:40Speaker 3: no man behind or is she like. I don't remember.
- 1:24:43Speaker 1: I remember she had a huge kind of zit on
- 1:24:46Speaker 1: her neck or like a goiter or something.
- 1:24:50Speaker 3: You were just looking at that the whole time? I
- 1:24:51Speaker 3: think she was from like Philly or something. It's a
- 1:24:53Speaker 3: way to last longer. But really a sweet gal. Seems nice.
- 1:24:58Speaker 1: Oh, there was another group that went jogging in the
- 1:25:01Speaker 1: morning in the Air Force, and she slipped over into my.
- 1:25:05Speaker 3: Little cabin or whatever. She slipped out of line of
- 1:25:07Speaker 3: the jog? Yeah.
- 1:25:09Speaker 1: And I couldn't get an erection. I was too freaked
- 1:25:11Speaker 1: out or something. I thought they were going to come
- 1:25:12Speaker 1: over with guns. I didn't fucking know how the military works.
- 1:25:14Speaker 3: Where was this?
- 1:25:16Speaker 1: This was in somewhere near Kuwait. Arifjan or one of
- 1:25:19Speaker 1: these bases or something.
- 1:25:22Speaker 3: Pretty cool. Wow. Those were good. Yeah, it was good.
- 1:25:24Speaker 3: A good time. It was good for everybody. It was
- 1:25:27Speaker 3: just cool.
- 1:25:27Speaker 1: They would take you out in the middle of nowhere.
- 1:25:29Speaker 1: You'd shoot a bunch of guns, you know, and just.
- 1:25:33Speaker 3: That was Kuwait?
- 1:25:33Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:25:34Speaker 3: You went to Kuwait? Yeah, whatever the one in Iraq.
- 1:25:37Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:25:38Speaker 3: Arif, John, that's where we flew in and went to
- 1:25:39Speaker 3: these forward operating bases. I think that's where they went, too.
- 1:25:42Speaker 3: I think it might have been the same one. It
- 1:25:43Speaker 3: was pretty great. So, yeah, the special. Let's get a
- 1:25:46Speaker 3: little bit more about it. I want to know about it.
- 1:25:48Speaker 3: Are you touring off of it now? Is there going
- 1:25:49Speaker 3: to be a new tour? Not touring off. A different hour. Okay. Yeah,
- 1:25:51Speaker 3: I'm touring a little bit for, like, until April. Then
- 1:25:53Speaker 3: I'm going to take about a year and a half off.
- 1:25:55Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 1:25:55Speaker 3: Off the road.
- 1:25:56Speaker 1: You always do a good job of that, is taking
- 1:25:57Speaker 1: time off. You're the one guy who's always like, dude,
- 1:25:59Speaker 1: you've got to take some time off for yourself. And
- 1:26:00Speaker 1: I'm like, I will, and then I never do. Yeah,
- 1:26:02Speaker 1: I always try to get you to.
- 1:26:03Speaker 3: Yeah, you do.
- 1:26:04Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:26:05Speaker 3: You could. I know.
- 1:26:07Speaker 1: One day I will. One day I'll just take time
- 1:26:09Speaker 1: off forever. I think that's probably maybe my goal. Save
- 1:26:11Speaker 1: it up and then go.
- 1:26:12Speaker 3: Yeah, just like when people save up their PTO or whatever.
- 1:26:15Speaker 3: Save it up to the end. Once you quit, I
- 1:26:17Speaker 3: get all that. Oh, that's the wrong way to live.
- 1:26:18Speaker 1: You think?
- 1:26:19Speaker 3: You should be taken along the way.
- 1:26:20Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:26:21Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm going to go backpacking for like six,
- 1:26:23Speaker 3: eight months. Just traveling. You've been to pretty great places
- 1:26:26Speaker 3: over the years. I went to Cuba this year with
- 1:26:29Speaker 3: Bobby Kelly. Did you really? Yeah. We were there for Hurricane.
- 1:26:33Speaker 3: That's not why we went. We went to get away
- 1:26:35Speaker 3: from the election. No way. Yeah, we got there on Monday.
- 1:26:39Speaker 3: We didn't find out who won until Sunday.
- 1:26:40Speaker 1: Wow.
- 1:26:43Speaker 3: They don't even have elections there. You're like, what happened
- 1:26:45Speaker 3: to the election? Like, I don't know what that word means. Electiones?
- 1:26:48Speaker 3: No se. No se. Wow, what was it like there?
- 1:26:52Speaker 3: I mean, it was pretty wild. You can see, like,
- 1:26:54Speaker 3: the remnants of what it would have been, the extravagance.
- 1:26:57Speaker 3: Same buildings. They have an embargo there. That's one thing
- 1:26:59Speaker 3: I tell Trump. Like, come on, end that already. They're
- 1:27:02Speaker 3: just poor people now for no reason.
- 1:27:03Speaker 1: And so what does that mean they have an embargo?
- 1:27:05Speaker 1: So you can't, they won't trade with America. They won't
- 1:27:07Speaker 1: trade with anyone who trades with America to a degree,
- 1:27:11Speaker 1: I think. So we won't trade with, did we do
- 1:27:13Speaker 1: that or they did that?
- 1:27:14Speaker 3: We did that. Okay. And so Obama ended it and
- 1:27:17Speaker 3: then opened up travel and everything. Trump put back on
- 1:27:20Speaker 3: the embargo, but you can still travel. And then Biden
- 1:27:23Speaker 3: also stayed full embargo, but you can still travel. So
- 1:27:26Speaker 3: there's 20 flights a day from Miami and Houston. Okay.
- 1:27:29Speaker 3: So you can travel to Cuba.
- 1:27:30Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:27:31Speaker 3: You can't bring back cigars, can't bring back alcohol. And
- 1:27:33Speaker 3: we don't do trade with them. Yeah. And so that
- 1:27:35Speaker 3: means they can't grow extra stuff and trade all their
- 1:27:37Speaker 3: sugar cane, all their tobacco. They can't, there's no reason
- 1:27:40Speaker 3: to grow extra cause they can't, it'll just rot. Right. Um,
- 1:27:44Speaker 3: so there's just poverty there.
- 1:27:47Speaker 1: So it's just poverty, but it's also just poverty because
- 1:27:49Speaker 1: the government takes probably like a funnels, a lot of
- 1:27:52Speaker 1: the money just to themselves.
- 1:27:53Speaker 3: They're doing okay. But that hurricane, they evacuated everyone. They
- 1:27:55Speaker 3: had to evacuate like it like really well. There was,
- 1:27:58Speaker 3: Three people rushed to the hospital. That's it. During a
- 1:28:01Speaker 3: type three hurricane. That's nice. Yeah. I mean, it's heavy.
- 1:28:05Speaker 3: The whole island lost power for two days. So there
- 1:28:07Speaker 3: was no power in the entire country for two days.
- 1:28:10Speaker 3: So that was like weird. But then we just wandered
- 1:28:13Speaker 3: around outside afterwards. Just like looked at the devastation. Hmm. U.S.
- 1:28:18Speaker 3: business conducting trade or commerce. Current embargo status. Interests. Yeah.
- 1:28:23Speaker 3: President Donald Trump was taking office for second term on
- 1:28:25Speaker 3: January 25th. So if you reverse several actions taken by
- 1:28:27Speaker 3: the outgoing Biden administration, well, that happens a lot. So
- 1:28:31Speaker 3: for a couple days, the things are changed, right? So
- 1:28:35Speaker 3: I think I know what this is. So Diaz told
- 1:28:37Speaker 3: me this, gave me a clue. They wouldn't, Florida didn't
- 1:28:39Speaker 3: vote for Hillary Clinton because they never forgave Bill Clinton
- 1:28:42Speaker 3: for giving back Elian Gonzalez. Cause they, those Cubans that
- 1:28:46Speaker 3: fled and went to Florida who, who are all, and they,
- 1:28:49Speaker 3: they breed, you know, so there are a lot of them.
- 1:28:51Speaker 3: They hate the, the Castro regime over there. And then
- 1:28:55Speaker 3: anything you can, they tell their grandkids, you can never
- 1:28:57Speaker 3: visit Cuba. Fuck that place. And so they were mad
- 1:28:59Speaker 3: at them giving this kid back to his real father.
- 1:29:02Speaker 3: He should be in America. So they just hate him.
- 1:29:05Speaker 3: So it took Obama for like, well, I've already run
- 1:29:08Speaker 3: twice and won, so I'm not going to run for
- 1:29:10Speaker 3: a third term. So now I can end this embargo.
- 1:29:12Speaker 3: If he didn't, Florida goes against him. So Trump, same
- 1:29:16Speaker 3: thing is like, I want that Cuban vote. Let's put
- 1:29:19Speaker 3: that embargo back on Biden too. I want that Cuban vote.
- 1:29:21Speaker 3: Put that embargo back on. Yeah. Florida is a big vote.
- 1:29:24Speaker 3: It ain't Maryland. If it was Maryland, they're like, I
- 1:29:26Speaker 3: don't care. Florida's a lot of points, right? So I'm
- 1:29:29Speaker 3: hoping he's like, well, I'm already in.
- 1:29:30Speaker 4: Dang.
- 1:29:31Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:29:32Speaker 3: So it's just whatever. So then when you go, they're like,
- 1:29:35Speaker 3: can you bring anything? Like, yes, light bulbs. Or it's
- 1:29:38Speaker 3: not even expensive. Like, we just can't get shit here. Batteries.
- 1:29:40Speaker 3: A battery charger? We would love that.
- 1:29:42Speaker 1: Huh.
- 1:29:44Speaker 3: Yeah. So he was like, hey, the hurricane's coming. We're
- 1:29:46Speaker 3: going to lose power. Charge everything.
- 1:29:48Speaker 2: Wow.
- 1:29:50Speaker 3: Yeah, that's wild. You don't even think about the things
- 1:29:52Speaker 3: you would need suddenly. Yeah, so you can see all
- 1:29:54Speaker 3: the buildings. They look kind of decrepit, but if you
- 1:29:56Speaker 3: blink and imagine it with a clean coat of paint,
- 1:29:59Speaker 3: you're like, oh, yeah, this would have been the vacation spot. Yeah.
- 1:30:02Speaker 3: Maybe one day it will be again. Well, you guys
- 1:30:04Speaker 3: went there for a vacation. How was it? I loved it.
- 1:30:07Speaker 3: I had so much fun. Could you go to the
- 1:30:09Speaker 3: beach and stuff? I smoked cigars all day. I went
- 1:30:10Speaker 3: to the beach. Nobody was on it. They cooked you
- 1:30:12Speaker 3: a lobster right there for $ 10. It was so cool.
- 1:30:15Speaker 3: It was so much fun and freeing. I got to
- 1:30:17Speaker 3: practice my Spanish. So it's a great place to go.
- 1:30:19Speaker 3: God damn. And we didn't get out of Havana. We
- 1:30:21Speaker 3: would have gotten out except for the hurricane kind of
- 1:30:23Speaker 3: put a damper on it. But it was a cool
- 1:30:25Speaker 3: experience anyway. But like, yeah, I would love to go back.
- 1:30:29Speaker 3: I would love to go to Trinidad, like the city
- 1:30:31Speaker 3: of Trinidad in Cuba, in the east. Was there a
- 1:30:34Speaker 3: nightlife there when you went? Dancing and music. That Cuban music.
- 1:30:38Speaker 3: We went to what's left of Buena Vista Social Club.
- 1:30:41Speaker 3: I was dancing. They picked me up to dance. this
- 1:30:43Speaker 3: fucking hot black chick, like Caribbean black chick.
- 1:30:47Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:30:47Speaker 1: She was dancing with me, and I was like, I
- 1:30:49Speaker 1: remember a little salsa class. Saltwater Sisters, baby, yeah.
- 1:30:52Speaker 3: I was going for it, dude. It felt so good.
- 1:30:54Speaker 3: It was so fucking fun. Yeah. Everyone's out. Everyone's smoking
- 1:30:58Speaker 3: and just casually smoking those cigars and just like drinking.
- 1:31:03Speaker 3: Are they busting on you? Do they bust on you
- 1:31:05Speaker 3: because you're American? No, not at all. One guy goes,
- 1:31:08Speaker 3: I know it's not you. I know it's your government.
- 1:31:10Speaker 3: I was like, I wasn't even thinking about it.
- 1:31:13Speaker 2: Wow.
- 1:31:14Speaker 3: We went when I was a student, we went.
- 1:31:16Speaker 1: I want to get you on my podcast about that year. Well,
- 1:31:19Speaker 1: when I went there, semester at sea?
- 1:31:20Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:31:20Speaker 2: Okay.
- 1:31:21Speaker 3: Did I come talk about that? I never talk about it.
- 1:31:23Speaker 3: I met a guy. It would go perfectly with that pod,
- 1:31:25Speaker 3: but also like. Journey. What's it called? The trip. You've
- 1:31:27Speaker 3: been tripping. You've been tripping. Just about a place you've been,
- 1:31:29Speaker 3: but I haven't had ocean as any. But like I
- 1:31:32Speaker 3: met a guy in my neighborhood. Did I never talk
- 1:31:33Speaker 3: about that whole trip? We were talking. He goes, do
- 1:31:36Speaker 3: you know Theo Vaughn? I was like, yeah, yeah. He's
- 1:31:37Speaker 3: a friend of mine. And he goes, I was on
- 1:31:39Speaker 3: a boat with him once. And I was like, oh, weird.
- 1:31:42Speaker 3: And he goes, no, no, no. It was like a
- 1:31:44Speaker 3: six-month thing.
- 1:31:45Speaker 1: Yeah, that was it.
- 1:31:45Speaker 3: I got to get his name to see if you remember.
- 1:31:47Speaker 3: I got to remember his name. Semester at sea, white guy? Yeah,
- 1:31:49Speaker 3: white guy, James. James was his name. James. But anyway, yeah,
- 1:31:55Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, that'd be perfect. That sounds
- 1:31:58Speaker 3: so cool. Oh, it was great. Yeah, semester at sea.
- 1:32:01Speaker 3: It was like a floating school.
- 1:32:02Speaker 1: Took off out of Canada, out of Vancouver over there,
- 1:32:06Speaker 1: and just went around the whole world.
- 1:32:07Speaker 3: Finished in Florida. We stopped at Cube on the way.
- 1:32:10Speaker 3: You did? On the way back, yeah. Fidel came and
- 1:32:12Speaker 3: spoke to us, too. It was pretty crazy. Really? Yeah. What?
- 1:32:15Speaker 1: But then we just tried to get out. Oh, dude,
- 1:32:17Speaker 1: I'll tell you this fun thing that happened. So we
- 1:32:18Speaker 1: went out, and nobody spoke any Spanish or whatever. We
- 1:32:22Speaker 1: would just do like that if somebody talked to us
- 1:32:24Speaker 1: in Spanish, you know? We would fucking just do that
- 1:32:30Speaker 1: in order of Cuba Libre, you know?
- 1:32:32Speaker 3: Oh, man, they're great there. Oh, yeah, they have an aclap. Yeah,
- 1:32:36Speaker 3: we went to the Havana Club. Yeah. We saw a
- 1:32:38Speaker 3: guy picking his nose so hard for so long. So long.
- 1:32:41Speaker 3: I have a picture of it. I can't show it
- 1:32:43Speaker 3: because it's being too much hate. Hard workers over there. No,
- 1:32:45Speaker 3: there's a white guy. There's a white guy getting rid
- 1:32:48Speaker 3: of that fucking pollution.
- 1:32:49Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of people will travel over there, pick
- 1:32:54Speaker 1: their nose.
- 1:32:54Speaker 3: It's different in Cuba. The flick goes further.
- 1:32:58Speaker 1: And then, so we were at this thing. We're just
- 1:33:00Speaker 1: walking down the streets. And finally, we find this kind
- 1:33:02Speaker 1: of party going on. It looked like there was some people.
- 1:33:05Speaker 1: There was like a birthday cake and stuff for this
- 1:33:07Speaker 1: old guy. And these people like were drinking and we
- 1:33:09Speaker 1: were drinking. So we all just start kind of dancing
- 1:33:11Speaker 1: in this little kind of foyer area, like off this,
- 1:33:14Speaker 1: the edge of this house and stuff. And we're hanging
- 1:33:15Speaker 1: out and stuff. And we're singing happy birthday and dancing.
- 1:33:19Speaker 1: And then you start to realize, look over, and this
- 1:33:21Speaker 1: old guy is going down on this woman. They were
- 1:33:25Speaker 1: hookers that they'd hired for this birthday. These two old
- 1:33:27Speaker 1: dudes had hired some hookers for their birthday. What? And
- 1:33:30Speaker 1: we're just fucking there, like, cutting the cake with them
- 1:33:32Speaker 1: and shit. We're like, what the fuck are we doing, bro?
- 1:33:35Speaker 3: There's a lot of hookers there. Yeah. Was there? Yeah,
- 1:33:37Speaker 3: I didn't get any. You see them, though. I'm like,
- 1:33:39Speaker 3: I haven't seen any hookers. And you notice, like, oh, yeah, yeah, that. Oh, yeah, that.
- 1:33:42Speaker 3: They're like, hi. And you're like, yep. There's just different. Yeah,
- 1:33:47Speaker 3: that was, and then we went to a baseball game.
- 1:33:48Speaker 3: We had to go get bread and cheese. You got what?
- 1:33:50Speaker 3: We were staying with a guy, and they were like,
- 1:33:52Speaker 3: should we help? Should we help? He goes, no, no,
- 1:33:54Speaker 3: I got it, I got you. And then when the
- 1:33:55Speaker 3: hurricane was coming, we're like, should we go out and
- 1:33:57Speaker 3: get supplies? And he goes, yes. He was like, oh shit,
- 1:34:00Speaker 3: you're worried. So we're on the hunt for bread and cheese,
- 1:34:03Speaker 3: and everywhere we went, they're like, we're out, we're out.
- 1:34:05Speaker 3: And then Bobby Kelly was like, all right, let's go,
- 1:34:07Speaker 3: let's go to the next place, we gotta go. And
- 1:34:09Speaker 3: he goes, well, hold on, there's cookies here. I'm like, Bob,
- 1:34:11Speaker 3: it's not a cookie time, dude.
- 1:34:13Speaker 1: Let's go.
- 1:34:13Speaker 3: So what else did you see? An alcoholic with a dessert,
- 1:34:17Speaker 3: it's hard. It's fucking... It's a replacement. What else did
- 1:34:20Speaker 3: you see there? What else did we see? We went
- 1:34:21Speaker 3: to a baseball game. Ooh, I miss doing that.
- 1:34:24Speaker 1: And when we left, we were throwing everything we had
- 1:34:27Speaker 1: off of the edge of the ship, like tennis shoes.
- 1:34:31Speaker 3: Just because they didn't have... We're like, what are we
- 1:34:34Speaker 3: going to do? Take this shit. We don't even fucking care.
- 1:34:36Speaker 3: Who cares?
- 1:34:36Speaker 1: Because you kind of made friends with the people while
- 1:34:38Speaker 1: you were there.
- 1:34:39Speaker 3: They had this guy named Henry that was taking us around,
- 1:34:41Speaker 3: and he.
- 1:34:43Speaker 3: And it was just so we were just throwing everything we.
- 1:34:46Speaker 1: Had just off the edge of this boat.
- 1:34:47Speaker 3: Take it.
- 1:34:48Speaker 1: You take it.
- 1:34:49Speaker 4: Take it here, here, here.
- 1:34:50Speaker 3: They'll get used to it. Clothes, all kind of stuff. Yeah,
- 1:34:52Speaker 3: because they could use it.
- 1:34:53Speaker 1: That was pretty awesome. That was really great. Yeah, it's
- 1:34:56Speaker 1: crazy that they don't have access. It's weird when you
- 1:35:00Speaker 1: go to another place and see a cultural difference that
- 1:35:02Speaker 1: you hadn't even noticed before. Like, oh, I have access
- 1:35:04Speaker 1: to shoes when I want it.
- 1:35:05Speaker 3: I might not be able to afford them, but I
- 1:35:06Speaker 3: can get them. Yeah.
- 1:35:07Speaker 1: And they had horse meat. That's what they served us
- 1:35:09Speaker 1: at this conference. They served us horse meat. And then
- 1:35:12Speaker 1: they had also– they– like you wore this translator machine,
- 1:35:21Speaker 1: so whenever– Fidel was talking, the speakers were talking, you
- 1:35:24Speaker 1: could hear what they were saying.
- 1:35:25Speaker 3: Whoa.
- 1:35:25Speaker 1: And then some people got to ask him questions and shit.
- 1:35:27Speaker 1: One kid got him to sign his passport. Fidel Castro?
- 1:35:31Speaker 3: Signed somebody. Wow, that's a perfect thing to sign. Signed
- 1:35:33Speaker 3: somebody's passport.
- 1:35:36Speaker 2: Wow.
- 1:35:36Speaker 3: Pretty fucking cool. You met Fidel Castro? Some little slurper.
- 1:35:39Speaker 3: I don't know if I met him. I don't think
- 1:35:41Speaker 3: I did. But you saw him. Yeah, we saw him.
- 1:35:43Speaker 1: He came and spoke to us, like 600 students or maybe.
- 1:35:46Speaker 1: And then I'm trying to think of anything else that
- 1:35:47Speaker 1: happened that was super great over there. I just have
- 1:35:50Speaker 1: them pretty quick, and we just drank with, like, a
- 1:35:52Speaker 1: lot of, like, homeless people. Like, a lot of times
- 1:35:54Speaker 1: you would pull in, you were on a boat docks.
- 1:35:56Speaker 1: You were always, like, around, like, homeless people and shit
- 1:35:58Speaker 1: and wherever boat docks are.
- 1:35:59Speaker 3: Right. That's not the typical vibe of a city.
- 1:36:01Speaker 1: Right. Like, sometimes it was, like, cool, like Miami, and
- 1:36:04Speaker 1: then sometimes it was, like, you were in, like, Jersey,
- 1:36:06Speaker 1: you know? Like, you just, it was hit or miss,
- 1:36:08Speaker 1: you know, some of these ports you went into. So
- 1:36:10Speaker 1: you'd roll off thinking, like, oh, we're going to be
- 1:36:12Speaker 1: in the lap of, like, some cool area, and you'd
- 1:36:14Speaker 1: just be in, like, the industrial and the docks, you know,
- 1:36:16Speaker 1: like in Belfast or something.
- 1:36:18Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. Who would go here? No one in L.A.
- 1:36:21Speaker 3: goes to where the ships dock. People are just getting
- 1:36:23Speaker 3: fucking wasted. I've been at sea for nine months. Get
- 1:36:27Speaker 3: me hookers and drugs now.
- 1:36:29Speaker 1: Oh, dude, all the staff that worked on the cruise ship,
- 1:36:31Speaker 1: they were from like Trinidad and Tobago and stuff like that.
- 1:36:35Speaker 1: And so they would all go get hookers the second
- 1:36:38Speaker 1: that the boat docked. You'd see them file out like
- 1:36:41Speaker 1: ants just to go get hookers in these different countries.
- 1:36:43Speaker 3: I went last year, Trinidad and Tobago.
- 1:36:45Speaker 1: Yeah?
- 1:36:45Speaker 3: For a carnival. Was it nice? It was so much fun.
- 1:36:48Speaker 3: For carnival, I dressed the whole outfit with the big
- 1:36:50Speaker 3: fucking feathers and just danced and drank for days. Wow.
- 1:36:56Speaker 3: It was so much fun. Who'd you go with? A chick. Yeah.
- 1:37:00Speaker 3: I met my friend. My friend's in line to be
- 1:37:02Speaker 3: the prime minister there from college. Really? Yeah, his dad
- 1:37:06Speaker 3: was the prime minister. And then when I met him,
- 1:37:08Speaker 3: he was the ambassador of America. White guy? Tobaggan?
- 1:37:13Speaker 1: No.
- 1:37:15Speaker 3: Dark skin black. Dark skin black. Yeah, they only have
- 1:37:17Speaker 3: Indians and blacks there pretty much.
- 1:37:19Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 1:37:20Speaker 3: But everyone's dancing, whining on each other. They're whining on me.
- 1:37:23Speaker 3: They were playing This Is Not Happening for some reason
- 1:37:25Speaker 3: on loop.
- 1:37:25Speaker 2: No.
- 1:37:26Speaker 3: On loop. So for like four hours a day, they
- 1:37:29Speaker 3: were playing This Is Not Happening in Trinidad. No residuals.
- 1:37:33Speaker 3: And so I was getting recognized in Trinidad and Tobago.
- 1:37:36Speaker 3: Some chick was like, are you Ari Shaffir? And I
- 1:37:38Speaker 3: was like, yeah. She goes, can I whine on you?
- 1:37:39Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah. She's just fucking backing it up. That's
- 1:37:41Speaker 3: what they do there?
- 1:37:42Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:37:43Speaker 3: It's not even sexual. It's just like backing it up
- 1:37:44Speaker 3: right on your ass. And just rub it, and they
- 1:37:47Speaker 3: just go all the way down. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's great.
- 1:37:51Speaker 3: And what do they call it? Wind on you? Wining.
- 1:37:53Speaker 3: It's their dance. And it's toboggan?
- 1:37:56Speaker 1: I guess so. Steel pan, all that shit. It was
- 1:37:59Speaker 1: so fucking cool. I love that. What do you notice
- 1:38:03Speaker 1: after traveling to some of these places? What are the
- 1:38:05Speaker 1: things you miss about America, and what do you think
- 1:38:07Speaker 1: are the things that we lose by being such a
- 1:38:10Speaker 1: capitalistic environment.
- 1:38:11Speaker 3: Food is cleaner other places. Okay.
- 1:38:14Speaker 1: Like in Cuba, they don't have much, but they don't
- 1:38:16Speaker 1: have chemicals to.
- 1:38:17Speaker 3: Put in there either. Right. And then it's like the
- 1:38:21Speaker 3: need to work for life. Oh, she's teaching how to wine.
- 1:38:24Speaker 3: I might have watched this video before I went. God.
- 1:38:27Speaker 3: And what do you do? Stand there? Stand there. I
- 1:38:29Speaker 3: could lift. one leg around them, try to go down
- 1:38:31Speaker 3: with them. I mean, you can't do it, but they're like,
- 1:38:34Speaker 3: it's funny, the white guy trying. But there's no like,
- 1:38:36Speaker 3: they're not like mad at you for being there. There's
- 1:38:38Speaker 3: so few whites. There are?
- 1:38:39Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:38:41Speaker 3: Yeah. I think the Rio one has more. Whoa. Pregnancia.
- 1:38:46Speaker 3: And you just. That's when you really, that's when your
- 1:38:51Speaker 3: nuts go missing right there. Wow. Let's learn to walk. Jesus, lady.
- 1:38:56Speaker 3: I know. Alto, alto.
- 1:38:58Speaker 1: I caught a pickpocket in Croatia one time.
- 1:39:01Speaker 3: Got a picture with him. He pickpocketed you? Caught him
- 1:39:04Speaker 3: fucking just like that. And then you're like, I'm not
- 1:39:07Speaker 3: mad at you. Let's just take a picture. Let's get
- 1:39:08Speaker 3: a photo of you. And he ran off. Little guy.
- 1:39:10Speaker 3: Little fucking five-year-old ghost thieving. Hey, no. All right. Yeah.
- 1:39:16Speaker 3: Fair is fair. Yeah, it's just like you notice like, oh,
- 1:39:20Speaker 3: we have some good things where we are. You get
- 1:39:23Speaker 3: to appreciate that. But then also like the need to
- 1:39:25Speaker 3: work as your method of reward. It's like, nah, it
- 1:39:30Speaker 3: shouldn't be that. It should be work to play.
- 1:39:33Speaker 1: Like how much value we put on that. Yeah, it's
- 1:39:35Speaker 1: like never any work till you die. And there they're like,
- 1:39:38Speaker 1: they work for the weekend. You try to go towards
- 1:39:41Speaker 1: like some fun. So there they have like carnival season.
- 1:39:44Speaker 1: It's a month plus long. Parties, parties, parties.
- 1:39:47Speaker 3: It's great. Jouvet, everyone's throwing paint on each other and mud. Jouvet? Jouvet.
- 1:39:53Speaker 1: Jouvet?
- 1:39:53Speaker 3: It's like Jouvert. That's in Trinidad? Yeah, it's the night before.
- 1:39:57Speaker 3: So you're up all night, you get two hours of sleep,
- 1:39:59Speaker 3: then go back to drinking and whining. Yeah, that's Jouvet. Jouvet. J-O-U-V-R-T.
- 1:40:05Speaker 3: Everyone's fighting with.
- 1:40:10Speaker 3: Wow. And they're fist fighting? No, they're fighting with paint. No,
- 1:40:14Speaker 3: they're not. Yeah, they're in a great mood. It's all
- 1:40:16Speaker 3: pretty safe. Let's look about Jouvet. Can you find me
- 1:40:18Speaker 3: all the information on it? It looks beautiful. It's the
- 1:40:20Speaker 3: day before. So color.
- 1:40:22Speaker 1: A traditional carnival celebration in many countries throughout the Caribbean.
- 1:40:26Speaker 1: The parade is believed to have its foundation in Trinidad
- 1:40:28Speaker 1: and Tobago with roots steeped in French Afro-Creole traditions.
- 1:40:32Speaker 3: Wow. Such as Can Boulay. Can Boulay. What is that? Yeah,
- 1:40:37Speaker 3: it's all so fucking weird. And it comes from like
- 1:40:40Speaker 3: some weird version of like Christianity and slavery celebrating.
- 1:40:45Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Can Bule is a precursor to Trinidad and
- 1:40:48Speaker 1: Tobago Carnival. The festival is also where calypso music has
- 1:40:51Speaker 1: its roots.
- 1:40:52Speaker 3: Mm-hmm, steel drum. You know why they did steel drum?
- 1:40:53Speaker 3: Because they outlawed drumming because they were like, you're like
- 1:40:56Speaker 3: riling people up. So like, well, let's get these abandoned
- 1:41:00Speaker 3: steel drums, like the oil drums. We'll make music out
- 1:41:02Speaker 3: of that. Wow. Go back to that information, Nick.
- 1:41:09Speaker 1: It was originally a harvest festival. It was drum, singing, dancing,
- 1:41:12Speaker 1: and chanting were an integral part.
- 1:41:17Speaker 3: Yep.
- 1:41:19Speaker 1: Can Boulay has played an important role in the development
- 1:41:21Speaker 1: of the music of Trinidad and Tobago for it was
- 1:41:23Speaker 1: the banning of percussion instruments in the 1880s that led
- 1:41:26Speaker 1: to the surreptitious innovations that gave birth to steel pan music.
- 1:41:30Speaker 3: Oh, that's cool. Yeah, here's me in my fucking costume. Wow.
- 1:41:36Speaker 3: Isn't that fun? Yeah, yeah. It was so fucking fun.
- 1:41:41Speaker 3: So he showed us how to do it, my friend Brian. Dude,
- 1:41:43Speaker 3: that's so cool. You look like a native, bro. Yeah,
- 1:41:48Speaker 3: I got lost in it. You look so native. It
- 1:41:50Speaker 3: was so fun. I mean, they party. They do it right.
- 1:41:54Speaker 3: There's no status. There's no any of that. What do
- 1:41:56Speaker 3: you mean they party? They go to let loose. Like
- 1:41:59Speaker 3: a Filipino lady and all the Filipinos in China and stuff,
- 1:42:02Speaker 3: when it's the weekend, they party. They just dance on
- 1:42:05Speaker 3: the docks together. They go for it. They're like, let's
- 1:42:08Speaker 3: let loose. It's not about like, which table am I at?
- 1:42:11Speaker 3: Who's going to be here?
- 1:42:12Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:42:12Speaker 3: It's the party for the sake of party. And it's
- 1:42:14Speaker 3: like the downstairs on the Titanic. Yeah. You know?
- 1:42:18Speaker 1: Yeah, everything else just gets a little bit fucking ridiculous
- 1:42:21Speaker 1: out here.
- 1:42:22Speaker 3: I think you definitely notice that more in big cities. Yeah,
- 1:42:24Speaker 3: club life. Clubbing in Europe is about like doing drugs
- 1:42:28Speaker 3: and dancing.
- 1:42:28Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:42:29Speaker 3: And here it's about like bottle service and velvet ropes.
- 1:42:32Speaker 1: Prestige, yeah. Yeah, that kind of stuff starts to disappear
- 1:42:35Speaker 1: once you even get out of, I feel like, some
- 1:42:37Speaker 1: of the bigger cities.
- 1:42:38Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:42:40Speaker 1: I always noticed, too, that Australians travel the most, I
- 1:42:42Speaker 1: felt like.
- 1:42:43Speaker 3: Yeah. It's like they go do it. It's how they...
- 1:42:46Speaker 3: We can't even comprehend it.
- 1:42:47Speaker 2: No.
- 1:42:47Speaker 3: You see one in the audience, like, oh, what are
- 1:42:50Speaker 3: you doing here? It's like, I'm on holiday.
- 1:42:51Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:42:52Speaker 3: And you're like, oh, so just L.A. in the back?
- 1:42:54Speaker 1: Like, no, L.A., Vegas, Miami, and then Copenhagen, London, whatever. Like,
- 1:42:58Speaker 1: how long are you going for? Oh, yeah, what field
- 1:43:00Speaker 1: of dreams are we going to? There's always like one
- 1:43:02Speaker 1: outlier thing they're going to see.
- 1:43:04Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. It's like, why nobody goes there? I want
- 1:43:07Speaker 3: to see Mickey Rooney's grave over there.
- 1:43:09Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:43:10Speaker 3: Yeah, they go for like two months.
- 1:43:11Speaker 2: I know.
- 1:43:11Speaker 1: It is really incredible. It's almost like that Amish thing.
- 1:43:16Speaker 1: What's the where they go?
- 1:43:17Speaker 3: Rumspringa. Rumspringa.
- 1:43:18Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:43:19Speaker 1: Australians almost have that. We're like, I'm going to go
- 1:43:20Speaker 1: see the world. And Australians, all they really want to
- 1:43:22Speaker 1: do is try the different Cokes from around the country.
- 1:43:25Speaker 3: Oh, they like doing cocaine? Yeah. They love it. And
- 1:43:27Speaker 3: they have the worst.
- 1:43:28Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 1:43:29Speaker 3: They love it the most and have the worst. Yeah.
- 1:43:31Speaker 3: So it's like, imagine you dunking. I love to dunk,
- 1:43:34Speaker 3: but I can't really do it because I can't really
- 1:43:35Speaker 3: do it. But then you go to like the moon
- 1:43:37Speaker 3: and you're like, I can dunk now. All you want
- 1:43:39Speaker 3: to do is just dunk all day. Just fucking jumping.
- 1:43:46Speaker 3: Right past the sun. Would you see that picture that
- 1:43:48Speaker 3: just came up about Mars?
- 1:43:49Speaker 1: You see that?
- 1:43:50Speaker 3: What about it? They found this crazy thing on the photo.
- 1:43:54Speaker 3: If this photo is real, did you see that, Nick?
- 1:43:57Speaker 4: Yeah, they found like a perfect square on Mars.
- 1:43:59Speaker 3: Is that what you're talking about?
- 1:44:00Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:44:00Speaker 3: What? It's kind of fascinating. That's unsettling. I think it's perfect.
- 1:44:07Speaker 2: Oh.
- 1:44:07Speaker 3: Mysterious square structure from Father Mars behind Brandon Wilde has
- 1:44:11Speaker 3: space fanatics completely baffled. Yeah, that's a straight line. Yeah,
- 1:44:16Speaker 3: I'm trying to see if we can get a clear
- 1:44:18Speaker 3: picture of it.
- 1:44:18Speaker 1: I'm sure they were, too.
- 1:44:21Speaker 3: Yeah, facts. Oh, that's it right there.
- 1:44:24Speaker 1: So you start to wonder, like... Because your mind also
- 1:44:27Speaker 1: starts to say, well, okay, that's a square.
- 1:44:29Speaker 3: But also, is it just like right there, the rocks
- 1:44:32Speaker 3: broke down just that way? That's like Bigfoot shit. It
- 1:44:35Speaker 3: really is.
- 1:44:36Speaker 1: Or UFO stuff.
- 1:44:36Speaker 3: Every time a UFO, like, look at this. I'm like,
- 1:44:38Speaker 3: I can't see context. That looks like a dot.
- 1:44:40Speaker 1: And the shittiest thing for me is UFOs have been
- 1:44:43Speaker 1: in the water recently. Do you hear that a month ago?
- 1:44:45Speaker 3: Water, yeah. Why wouldn't they hide in the water? And
- 1:44:48Speaker 3: you're like, okay, so you're telling me this whole time
- 1:44:50Speaker 3: we've been looking up. And they're down.
- 1:44:52Speaker 1: And they're down. Oh, you tricksters. It's like part of
- 1:44:57Speaker 1: a Scooby-Doo episode.
- 1:44:59Speaker 3: It's like, what? I'm not worried about them harming me.
- 1:45:03Speaker 3: This was a, they tell me something. CBS News?
- 1:45:06Speaker 1: Yeah, Tim Burchard said in an interview Wednesday that an
- 1:45:08Speaker 1: admirable whom he did not identify told him an unidentified
- 1:45:11Speaker 1: craft moving at incredible speeds in the sea.
- 1:45:13Speaker 3: It's always incredible speeds. And you're like, how about it's
- 1:45:16Speaker 3: far away? Look, if you have something really far away
- 1:45:20Speaker 3: and it's moving across the screen like that, you're like,
- 1:45:21Speaker 3: that's slow. If it's right here, it's like, oh my God,
- 1:45:24Speaker 3: that's so fast. It's just you can't see the fucking scale.
- 1:45:27Speaker 3: You can't see where it is.
- 1:45:29Speaker 1: But also, oh, they've been in the water. Oh, we
- 1:45:33Speaker 1: were looking up here and they're down there.
- 1:45:35Speaker 3: And you never thought to tell us about the water?
- 1:45:38Speaker 3: Gotta discover it. You gotta be a real scuba-doo. That
- 1:45:43Speaker 3: was good. You win the round.
- 1:45:45Speaker 1: But I was like, this is so fucking dumb, dude.
- 1:45:49Speaker 3: Now they're in the water. It's like, so they're not
- 1:45:51Speaker 3: up here? It just was so dumb to me. Yeah,
- 1:45:53Speaker 3: where else are they gonna be? Where's next? In the fridge?
- 1:45:56Speaker 3: I know. Where do you wanna go? Still Argentina? Yeah. Bariloche.
- 1:46:04Speaker 3: You know a place? Map that for me. Let's see, Bariloche.
- 1:46:08Speaker 3: Where the women swim like swine. Let me see it.
- 1:46:14Speaker 3: You know how to spell that? Yeah, I was going
- 1:46:15Speaker 3: to say, how do we spell it? I mean, just...
- 1:46:17Speaker 3: It's up to you, really. You're a great American. Yeah,
- 1:46:19Speaker 3: it's up to fucking you, bro. It's up to you, boy. Bariloche. Bariloche.
- 1:46:23Speaker 3: Why that place? Where'd you hear about that?
- 1:46:25Speaker 1: You just heard about it from somebody? It's so funny
- 1:46:27Speaker 1: when you hear about something when you're a kid and
- 1:46:28Speaker 1: you just remember it forever, you know?
- 1:46:31Speaker 3: Time with Bon Jovi. Wow! Oh, so it gets cold
- 1:46:35Speaker 3: there too. Oh, it looks perfect. It does look perfect.
- 1:46:38Speaker 3: San Carlos de Bariloche. Looks beautiful. Halifax is beautiful. You've
- 1:46:43Speaker 3: been there. I just went for the first time. Did you?
- 1:46:46Speaker 3: I've been trying to go to eastern Canada for so
- 1:46:48Speaker 3: fucking long, and my Jews just keep telling me it's
- 1:46:50Speaker 3: not worth it for the money. And I'm like, I
- 1:46:53Speaker 3: want to go. And they go, fine, only winter. I'm like, no, no.
- 1:46:56Speaker 3: You've got to be outside during that. Like, you'll draw less.
- 1:46:59Speaker 1: I'm like, who?
- 1:46:59Speaker 3: Guys! Guys! Get me out there. And I finally went.
- 1:47:02Speaker 3: I loved it.
- 1:47:03Speaker 1: Beautiful.
- 1:47:04Speaker 3: Weird, cool people. Isolated. Yeah. Strange, different people. Real fucking,
- 1:47:10Speaker 3: what's that movie where they put that guy in a
- 1:47:12Speaker 3: box and they burned it alive? I think one of them,
- 1:47:16Speaker 3: I think Nicolas Cage did a remake of it. Match, Dick, Match.
- 1:47:20Speaker 3: The Wicker Man? Wicker Man.
- 1:47:22Speaker 2: Is it good?
- 1:47:22Speaker 3: It looks like Wicker Man-ish for sure. Yeah, it was great. Yeah,
- 1:47:25Speaker 3: I love that. La Crosse, Wisconsin was a place that
- 1:47:27Speaker 3: I liked in America. Yeah, outside Mount Pelier. Very beautiful.
- 1:47:32Speaker 3: It's just like a perfect place. I've been doing that
- 1:47:35Speaker 3: now a lot. When I meet somebody from another country,
- 1:47:36Speaker 3: I'm like, what's your tips? And they go, oh, well,
- 1:47:38Speaker 3: go to Buenos Aires. I'm like, no, no, no, you're
- 1:47:40Speaker 3: from Buenos Aires. It can be a restaurant, a bar,
- 1:47:44Speaker 3: or where you go hiking outside of there.
- 1:47:46Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:47:47Speaker 3: And then they tell me, and I put it on
- 1:47:48Speaker 3: Google Maps, and I'm like, I'm getting there. Give me
- 1:47:50Speaker 3: the grassroots. Bariloche. I'm going to write that one down.
- 1:47:52Speaker 3: And that's La Crosse, Wisconsin. I think it's one of
- 1:47:54Speaker 3: the best little cities.
- 1:47:55Speaker 1: Bariloche?
- 1:47:56Speaker 3: Bariloche, yeah. Where the women swim like swine.
- 1:48:02Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 1:48:03Speaker 3: There you go. There's Granddad's Bluff over there. Bariloche. Oh, yeah, bro.
- 1:48:10Speaker 3: That's what we need. More Bariloche. In America, yeah. And
- 1:48:14Speaker 3: then I would say in America, probably I would go
- 1:48:16Speaker 3: with La Crosse, Wisconsin is a place that I really
- 1:48:18Speaker 3: think is a great place to go tour or see.
- 1:48:21Speaker 3: Just nice. It's like if you thought of an ideal
- 1:48:24Speaker 3: place in America. Yeah.
- 1:48:26Speaker 1: Like especially like where like in the fall, the leaves
- 1:48:29Speaker 1: change color and it's like a cool mountain, but you
- 1:48:31Speaker 1: can still ride your bike everywhere you wanted to in
- 1:48:33Speaker 1: town as a kid. And you have just enough of
- 1:48:35Speaker 1: a little downtown with, like, some three-story buildings.
- 1:48:37Speaker 3: Where you're like, oh, that's downtown.
- 1:48:38Speaker 1: Cool enough, two bars.
- 1:48:40Speaker 3: Yes.
- 1:48:41Speaker 1: And everything but some cool old shops and stuff downtown
- 1:48:43Speaker 1: where it really feels cool. How many people live there
- 1:48:45Speaker 1: in La Crosse, Wisconsin?
- 1:48:47Speaker 4: 52,818.
- 1:48:48Speaker 1: So a good enough size, too, where it's like, you know,
- 1:48:50Speaker 1: you'll have some neighbors, you'll have some good sporting events
- 1:48:52Speaker 1: and stuff like that.
- 1:48:54Speaker 3: You're close enough to drive to Green Bay to cheer
- 1:48:55Speaker 3: for the Packers. Right, right. But far enough away, like,
- 1:48:58Speaker 3: we don't go. Right, like this is their downtown. So everything,
- 1:49:01Speaker 3: you know, just kind of perfect. This is where DeRosa
- 1:49:03Speaker 3: lives in Pennsylvania, a city like this.
- 1:49:05Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 1:49:05Speaker 3: Yeah, like an hour outside Philadelphia. Pennsylvania's got some beautiful places. Yeah,
- 1:49:10Speaker 3: but like a small downtown just like that. And he's
- 1:49:12Speaker 3: the mayor. Wow. Yeah, you got one light. Yeah, that
- 1:49:18Speaker 3: place is a great spot. That's the kind of thing
- 1:49:20Speaker 3: you do when you're on the road where it's like,
- 1:49:21Speaker 3: all right, I'm going to stay a few days longer
- 1:49:23Speaker 3: or go a few days early, chill out, then do
- 1:49:25Speaker 3: my shows or stay there and drive in for your
- 1:49:27Speaker 3: shows and go back. Yeah. So you have all day. Yeah,
- 1:49:30Speaker 3: I want to do some more.
- 1:49:31Speaker 1: I think maybe after this year, then I would just
- 1:49:33Speaker 1: get a camper and do a year where I just
- 1:49:36Speaker 1: go around the country, do some interview just regular people
- 1:49:39Speaker 1: in different places.
- 1:49:40Speaker 3: You're good at that, too. I saw you interview a
- 1:49:43Speaker 3: school bus driver once. Go touring. Who do we interview?
- 1:49:46Speaker 3: Did you have a school bus driver or a bus driver?
- 1:49:48Speaker 3: We have a hostage negotiator coming on soon. No, it
- 1:49:51Speaker 3: was somebody more regular. And we got a Native American.
- 1:49:53Speaker 3: A couple years ago.
- 1:49:53Speaker 4: We had a female long-haul trucker, a mortician.
- 1:49:57Speaker 3: Lunch lady. Maybe it's mortician. Maybe it's lunch. But yeah,
- 1:49:59Speaker 3: that normal shit that you can get a lot out
- 1:50:01Speaker 3: of them. That'd be fun. Who'd drive the RV?
- 1:50:04Speaker 1: You? Or you could have somebody else be driving it
- 1:50:06Speaker 1: or switch off. Probably switch off. Or if I have
- 1:50:09Speaker 1: a family at that point.
- 1:50:10Speaker 3: You're looking? I gotta get a family at some point. Well,
- 1:50:13Speaker 3: if you do that, guess what you're gonna have to
- 1:50:15Speaker 3: do first? Nut inside. Nut inside, buddy. That's it. It's
- 1:50:21Speaker 3: for you. It's all there. You don't say. That would
- 1:50:26Speaker 3: be cool. Me and O'Neill and Matt Edgar did one
- 1:50:29Speaker 3: where we did Spokane and we did Tacoma.
- 1:50:32Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:50:32Speaker 3: No, Tacoma then Spokane. And then so two days there,
- 1:50:35Speaker 3: two days there. In the interim, we found a fire station,
- 1:50:38Speaker 3: a fire lookout station that had been redone. So it
- 1:50:41Speaker 3: was an hour hike to get up. There's no roads in.
- 1:50:44Speaker 3: We took all our shit and we stayed up there
- 1:50:46Speaker 3: for like three days doing mushrooms. There's hundreds of acres
- 1:50:49Speaker 3: around us. Wow. There's nothing up there. And it was
- 1:50:52Speaker 3: a 360 deck on top so none of the animals
- 1:50:55Speaker 3: would get at you but you could be out there.
- 1:50:57Speaker 3: You just found it? Yeah, O'Neal found it.
- 1:50:59Speaker 2: Damn.
- 1:51:00Speaker 3: And the guy was like, yeah, we own this. We
- 1:51:01Speaker 3: retrofitted it. They don't need these fire lookouts anymore. That's cool.
- 1:51:06Speaker 3: But that's all there if you're willing to take the
- 1:51:08Speaker 3: week in between.
- 1:51:09Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:51:09Speaker 3: Skiing, doing anything.
- 1:51:11Speaker 1: Yeah, I think some things just get like you want
- 1:51:13Speaker 1: to work, but then you're like, have I done enough work?
- 1:51:16Speaker 3: I don't know. But then you start working so much
- 1:51:17Speaker 3: you don't even know what you're doing anymore sometimes too.
- 1:51:19Speaker 3: Just autopilot, wasting time. It's funny, I have two different
- 1:51:22Speaker 3: sets of friends, and half of them are pitying me
- 1:51:24Speaker 3: for not buckling down enough, and the other half look
- 1:51:26Speaker 3: up to me for paying it back in enough.
- 1:51:30Speaker 1: I think I look up to, I think I always
- 1:51:31Speaker 1: admire the fact that you go and do these fun
- 1:51:33Speaker 1: things that seem to keep you alive.
- 1:51:37Speaker 3: I got a proposition for you. Maybe I'll tell you
- 1:51:39Speaker 3: off air. Okay. That's fair.
- 1:51:41Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to come on and talk about the
- 1:51:42Speaker 1: semester at sea. That's what I would like to talk about.
- 1:51:44Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah, for sure. And you're doing it in New York?
- 1:51:47Speaker 3: New York, or if we're in Austin together, we can
- 1:51:48Speaker 3: do it then.
- 1:51:49Speaker 2: Okay.
- 1:51:49Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a studio there, too.
- 1:51:51Speaker 1: Yeah, that'd be fun to go through the different places
- 1:51:52Speaker 1: I've never really gone through and thought about.
- 1:51:54Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll think about it. You're going to remember stuff
- 1:51:56Speaker 3: as we go. That's what happens to everybody when they're
- 1:51:58Speaker 3: doing it, when they're doing one of the episodes. And
- 1:51:59Speaker 3: then I went, oh, that Chick Margaret. Oh, yeah. That
- 1:52:03Speaker 3: moment I love. Dude, we had a girl.
- 1:52:07Speaker 1: She fucking did a water slide somewhere in, like, Vietnam,
- 1:52:10Speaker 1: which nobody knew they even had.
- 1:52:12Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:52:12Speaker 1: Broke out both of her front teeth and got knocked
- 1:52:15Speaker 1: up by a mariachi player, dude.
- 1:52:18Speaker 3: A mariachi player in Vietnam?
- 1:52:20Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:52:21Speaker 3: I know. What do you mean we had a girl?
- 1:52:25Speaker 3: I don't know.
- 1:52:25Speaker 1: She was just on the cruise ship, too. Because that
- 1:52:28Speaker 1: would be it. You'd land in a port with the
- 1:52:30Speaker 1: cruise ship. You would take classes while you're on the ship.
- 1:52:33Speaker 1: And the program's called Semester at Sea, and it's amazing.
- 1:52:34Speaker 3: You'd take classes.
- 1:52:35Speaker 1: But then once you got to a city, people could
- 1:52:38Speaker 1: go do whatever they wanted.
- 1:52:39Speaker 3: You could be back at whatever?
- 1:52:40Speaker 1: Be back when the ship leaves at like, oh, 1700
- 1:52:41Speaker 1: or something. So people would come back with drug habits.
- 1:52:46Speaker 1: Some people would come back with amazing stories.
- 1:52:48Speaker 3: People would come back. with their teeth in their pocket
- 1:52:50Speaker 3: and a full wound. That's like Fantasy Island.
- 1:52:52Speaker 1: It was just, some people wouldn't, people would stay with it.
- 1:52:56Speaker 1: A couple people would like fell in love and just
- 1:52:57Speaker 1: fucking stayed. They're like, fuck it. A couple people got
- 1:52:59Speaker 1: busted with drugs or whatever and they just left them there.
- 1:53:02Speaker 3: No. Yeah, rules are rules, man.
- 1:53:04Speaker 1: Yeah, wheels up. Wheels up at this time. Yeah, anchors up.
- 1:53:10Speaker 1: So that was, all of that was kind of fascinating.
- 1:53:12Speaker 1: Do you think Fantasy Island was a precursor for Epstein Island?
- 1:53:15Speaker 3: I'm not sure what Fantasy Island was. Was it a
- 1:53:16Speaker 3: real place? No, it was a TV show.
- 1:53:19Speaker 1: Oh, it was?
- 1:53:20Speaker 3: Yeah. I never saw it. With Herbie Villachette or whatever. No,
- 1:53:23Speaker 3: my buddy's dad was in Love Boat. Yeah.
- 1:53:26Speaker 1: Really?
- 1:53:27Speaker 3: What was he in Love Boat? He was the captain,
- 1:53:29Speaker 3: I think. What? He was the captain. Captain Steubing? Yeah.
- 1:53:34Speaker 3: I think so. I don't know how to spell it.
- 1:53:39Speaker 1: Yeah, him.
- 1:53:39Speaker 3: That was your buddy's dad? That guy.
- 1:53:42Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:53:43Speaker 3: I guarantee you that guy came inside. You think? Dead
- 1:53:46Speaker 3: at 90. He passed away? He was fucking until he
- 1:53:49Speaker 3: was 88 and a half. Guaranteed. Oh, no, this wasn't
- 1:53:51Speaker 3: his dad then. He was just a captain on a boat.
- 1:53:57Speaker 3: He fell in love on a boat and he was
- 1:53:58Speaker 3: the captain. Yeah, that's it. That's it.
- 1:54:00Speaker 1: I can't. No, my buddy said it was something else.
- 1:54:02Speaker 1: You're going to not continue it when you're like, no,
- 1:54:03Speaker 1: I'm not lying. I'm not lying about any of these things.
- 1:54:08Speaker 1: I love there was a clip of you on Rogan
- 1:54:10Speaker 1: when you were like, you're doing the Theo thing and
- 1:54:12Speaker 1: you're like.
- 1:54:13Speaker 3: I can't do the accent. I was like, man, these
- 1:54:15Speaker 3: bees are just exploding. And Joe just starts laughing. And
- 1:54:18Speaker 3: you're like, yeah, they explode. And he's like, what are
- 1:54:19Speaker 3: you talking about? I go, look it up, Jamie. And
- 1:54:21Speaker 3: everyone thinks you're lying. And he goes, yeah, there's exploding bees.
- 1:54:23Speaker 3: And he goes, yeah, what do you mean? Every now
- 1:54:26Speaker 3: and then. I'll tell the truth. You got to sprinkle it.
- 1:54:27Speaker 1: You bring a piece of information that he doesn't have.
- 1:54:31Speaker 1: That's when his mind is blown.
- 1:54:32Speaker 3: How did you know this? Well, he's a library. Imagine
- 1:54:36Speaker 3: going to bed when you're a library.
- 1:54:38Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
- 1:54:38Speaker 3: He's a fucking library.
- 1:54:39Speaker 1: It's like you go to the front desk, you're like, hey,
- 1:54:40Speaker 1: do you have this book? And he's like, let me
- 1:54:42Speaker 1: see what I have. And then he shows up with
- 1:54:43Speaker 1: the information that he has. For a pothead, he really
- 1:54:45Speaker 1: remembers quite a lot.
- 1:54:46Speaker 3: Un-fucking-real.
- 1:54:47Speaker 1: That's, I think, I mean, he has a lot of-
- 1:54:49Speaker 1: These are evaporating. He's a hard worker, but I think
- 1:54:51Speaker 1: he just has an endless memory.
- 1:54:55Speaker 3: And a lust for knowledge. Yes. He wants to keep
- 1:54:57Speaker 3: feeding it. Genuinely curious. I'm already like, I know enough. Dude,
- 1:55:01Speaker 3: I know so little, and I gave up then. Yeah.
- 1:55:04Speaker 3: I think that was my MO.
- 1:55:07Speaker 1: Ari Shaffir, we got the new special.
- 1:55:09Speaker 3: American Sweetheart. American Sweetheart. On Netflix. On Netflix. Congratulations, man.
- 1:55:13Speaker 3: Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I wanted this one more
- 1:55:16Speaker 3: regular people to see it and less YouTube people.
- 1:55:19Speaker 1: Yeah?
- 1:55:19Speaker 3: There's lower views on Netflix for people at my level.
- 1:55:22Speaker 3: But it does take time for people to get to
- 1:55:23Speaker 3: it too. Yeah. But then also just like I'm trying
- 1:55:26Speaker 3: to really get through with humor of like chill, chill.
- 1:55:31Speaker 3: Everything's nice. So hopefully some people, I've seen some people feel, hey,
- 1:55:35Speaker 3: I put down the phone all day because that's special.
- 1:55:37Speaker 3: They're like, great, getting through to you. Yeah. Yeah, because
- 1:55:39Speaker 3: that's how they really captivate you. Yeah, it's like, man. Yeah,
- 1:55:43Speaker 3: the closer is the darkest one. Yeah? Yeah, so get
- 1:55:47Speaker 3: to the closer, I guess. And then I'm on tour. Cool.
- 1:55:50Speaker 3: All over America, the farewell tour before I go backpacking.
- 1:55:53Speaker 1: Man.
- 1:55:55Speaker 3: That's going to be nice, dude. Okay. Okay. As soon
- 1:55:59Speaker 3: as we're done, I want to suggest something to you. Okay. Yeah.
- 1:56:01Speaker 3: I'm ready to take a suggestion.
- 1:56:04Speaker 2: Yep.
- 1:56:05Speaker 3: Thank you, guys.
- 1:56:06Speaker 1: America's Sweetheart, Ari Shafir, his tour.
- 1:56:09Speaker 3: After the backpacking or before?
- 1:56:11Speaker 2: What?
- 1:56:12Speaker 3: The tour? Yeah. The tour's now, and then I'm going
- 1:56:13Speaker 3: to end that and leave. It's just like, let's go
- 1:56:15Speaker 3: a couple more months of hanging out in New York,
- 1:56:17Speaker 3: having fun, and then take off. Yeah. Take off, and then,
- 1:56:20Speaker 3: I don't know. But the You Be Trippin' podcast will
- 1:56:22Speaker 3: still come out. Okay. I'm gone. Banked. I'm already like
- 1:56:24Speaker 3: 30 ahead. Oh, awesome. Just for this. And what a
- 1:56:27Speaker 3: great idea too, so it's all about trips to be
- 1:56:29Speaker 3: able to take in. Like one trip you took, come back,
- 1:56:32Speaker 3: tell me about a different trip. Come back, tell me
- 1:56:33Speaker 3: about a different trip. We should stay in that place.
- 1:56:35Speaker 3: And it's not like, what am I supposed to do?
- 1:56:36Speaker 3: It's like, what did you do? Right. I fell in love.
- 1:56:40Speaker 3: Danny Palaszczuk was like, I had dengue fever in Laos,
- 1:56:43Speaker 3: spent the whole time in a sand floor hospital. Perfect,
- 1:56:46Speaker 3: tell me about it. Fuck. Yeah, I just love it.
- 1:56:50Speaker 3: Sometimes I finish the episodes and I just sit there
- 1:56:52Speaker 3: and sigh, like, I want to go there. Yeah. And
- 1:56:55Speaker 3: sometimes I'm like, that was bad. I didn't care. I
- 1:56:59Speaker 3: think sometimes we do an episode, I'm like, that was
- 1:57:02Speaker 3: the best ever, and I'm like, you guys are fucking,
- 1:57:04Speaker 3: we're all idiots.
- 1:57:05Speaker 1: It is fascinating how, like, the idea of planning a
- 1:57:09Speaker 1: trip is so hectic, and then you just plan it,
- 1:57:12Speaker 1: and then, like, the day comes where you're sitting on
- 1:57:14Speaker 1: the plane, and you're like, this is the best decision
- 1:57:16Speaker 1: I ever made.
- 1:57:17Speaker 3: It's the best. You're nervous, you're nervous, I'll do it later.
- 1:57:19Speaker 3: If you just, my booker in Romania, he goes, I'm
- 1:57:23Speaker 3: trying to go to, Thailand, I couldn't go. And do
- 1:57:25Speaker 3: you know what? I'm buying a ticket. And then I'm
- 1:57:26Speaker 3: going to force myself to go from six months from now.
- 1:57:28Speaker 3: If I have the ticket, I'm going. And he did,
- 1:57:30Speaker 3: and he went. And then that thing, if you get
- 1:57:32Speaker 3: off the plane, you're still in an airport. It seems familiar.
- 1:57:34Speaker 3: But when those sliding doors open, you go outside, and
- 1:57:37Speaker 3: there's a little smell difference. And you just feel like
- 1:57:40Speaker 3: the signs are in a different color. And you're just like, oh,
- 1:57:44Speaker 3: here we go. It hits you, and you're like, oh.
- 1:57:48Speaker 3: And you just got to get by. The cab drivers
- 1:57:50Speaker 3: are trying to hustle you. And you're just like, oh,
- 1:57:53Speaker 3: it's just the best. God, it's good, yeah.
- 1:57:56Speaker 1: We had a taxi took us in Vietnam straight to
- 1:57:58Speaker 1: a bird, animal place that had hookers in the back.
- 1:58:02Speaker 3: So pet shop front, hooker back. How do those go together?
- 1:58:09Speaker 3: Just what a, combo. Hey, kid, play with the puppies.
- 1:58:14Speaker 3: Dad's going to go in the back.
- 1:58:15Speaker 1: It was kind of like when you see those Pizza
- 1:58:16Speaker 1: Hut Baskin Robbins or whatever, where there's that merger or whatever.
- 1:58:19Speaker 3: Uh-huh, yeah. You're like, yeah, I'll take a couple of scoops.
- 1:58:22Speaker 3: A couple of scoops and a wing. Yeah, dude. I'll
- 1:58:26Speaker 3: take a fucking piece of pie and a fucking, and
- 1:58:29Speaker 3: a gerbil.
- 1:58:32Speaker 1: Ari Shafir, man, you endlessly continue to create content, man,
- 1:58:37Speaker 1: and put your comedy out in the world, man.
- 1:58:38Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm trying to have fun. Yeah, you always do. Thanks.
- 1:58:42Speaker 3: Thanks for coming and hanging out, man. Yeah. Great seeing you, buddy.
- 1:58:44Speaker 3: Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel
- 1:58:48Speaker 3: I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh,
- 1:58:56Speaker 3: but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace
- 1:58:59Speaker 3: of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones.