Latest / The Road Doc Podcast / Closure – Do We Really Need It?

Transcript

Closure – Do We Really Need It? · The Road Doc Podcast

• 0:03
  Closure. We talk about it like it's the
• 0:08
  final chapter in every story. Isn't it?
• 0:12
  Like without it we can't move forward.
• 0:18
  But here is the question, do we really need closure?
• 0:27
  Or is it something which is because we are uncomfortable
• 0:32
  with unanswered endings? Today, let's dive into this.
• 0:41
  Alright, let's strip away the fluff, the movies, the social
• 0:48
  media quotes and look at the closure in raw human terms.
• 0:56
  Because sometimes healing does not come from closure, it
• 1:06
  actually comes from acceptance. Hi everyone, I hope you are
• 1:15
  doing great. From which part of the world or
• 1:19
  wherever from the world you are watching?
• 1:22
  Sorry, listening this my name is Doctor Mukund AKA Doctor M
• 1:30
  Rider. Today in this episode, I'm going
• 1:35
  to deep dive a little bit into closure and I'll also talk about
• 1:47
  do we really need it or not? Before that, I'm going to
• 1:55
  breakdown this episode into five parts so that we will have a
• 2:00
  very clear and crisp kind of understanding so everyone can
• 2:08
  get along with what we are trying to discuss.
• 2:13
  Let us dive into the Part 1, the myth of closure.
• 2:21
  Yep, people believe closure is something like you know, someone
• 2:26
  else uses answers right? But in reality, the closure is
• 2:33
  really what we think. Let me give you an example that
• 2:40
  we but we all are experienced somehow in our life.
• 2:49
  Think about it like you know, how many times have you waited
• 2:53
  for that one last conversation or that one last text or that
• 2:59
  one last apology and only to realize that it didn't really
• 3:06
  change anything? Maybe it gave us like 5 minutes
• 3:11
  of piece, Maybe. But the pain came back again and
• 3:16
  again, right? Why is that?
• 3:20
  Why? Because closure that depends on
• 3:27
  someone else is never permanent. That is the truth.
• 3:36
  Closure is often marketed as, you know, like final door
• 3:40
  shutting. But life?
• 3:44
  Life does not work in neat endings, isn't it?
• 3:48
  We all experience this. You can just reflect back to our
• 3:53
  own life. We will know that.
• 3:58
  All right, let's just go to Part 2 of this episode.
• 4:06
  I'm going to name this as like acceptance versus closure.
• 4:10
  I'm going to talk about that now.
• 4:13
  So here it is. What is acceptance and what is
• 4:17
  closure? I will simplify it much much.
• 4:24
  In simple terms, acceptance is basically internal thing.
• 4:28
  Closure is often external thing. You know, I will give an example
• 4:33
  to understand even better. Let us just say if someone
• 4:38
  leaves your life, like it may be from the job or they might have
• 4:44
  expired suddenly or they move to A to a new different city,
• 4:52
  country, somehow life just happened.
• 4:57
  And if you, you may never know why, right?
• 5:01
  And if you do, it may not even satisfy you, right?
• 5:06
  We all been there. But if you learn to accept that
• 5:10
  not everything needs an explanation, you free yourself,
• 5:17
  isn't it? That acceptance is actually the
• 5:20
  freedom? So the closure becomes
• 5:24
  dependency. Let's just say your close friend
• 5:27
  or you are in a relationship, or your family members, your
• 5:32
  brothers, sisters, whoever they may be, they had to leave the
• 5:36
  country or they have to leave the house for some reason for
• 5:40
  their own growth or whatever it may be.
• 5:43
  And sometimes they do not even give you a full explanation of
• 5:47
  why and this and that. No, they just want to leave.
• 5:50
  They leave. That is it.
• 5:52
  And you might be sitting there wondering why they left, why
• 5:55
  blah blah blah, overthinking and overthinking and overthinking.
• 6:00
  You just trap yourself in the overthinking loop and you know
• 6:06
  you will be more frustrated rather than that.
• 6:10
  It is very often very easy to just accept.
• 6:13
  It is the time in life they had to move on and they did.
• 6:17
  That is all. And that gives you like an
• 6:21
  instant acceptance that literally gives you a freedom to
• 6:24
  do whatever you do. But most people got stuck in
• 6:27
  that loop and they are just stuck there forever and ever.
• 6:32
  That is true. That is true.
• 6:34
  So basically, acceptance is kind of a freedom, and closure is
• 6:38
  kind of a dependency. Believe it or not, that's the
• 6:42
  truth. So do we really want healing or
• 6:46
  do we want stories that make sense?
• 6:49
  Because the two are not always the same, You know, They are
• 6:53
  not. We all experienced at some part
• 6:58
  of Indiana our lives, isn't it? So yeah.
• 7:08
  So let's dive into Part 3 of this episode.
• 7:12
  You often have heard the saying like time heals, time heals
• 7:18
  everything, time heals. But now I'm going to say this,
• 7:24
  time heals but not alone. People say time heals everything
• 7:30
  but really no, not really because it only heals what you
• 7:37
  do with the time that matters during that point of time.
• 7:41
  All right. Like for example, you just wait
• 7:46
  there for the closure for all the answers.
• 7:48
  You don't do anything, you just stuck there.
• 7:52
  Or even use the same years to build, learn, love and move
• 7:56
  forward. Choice is yours, but the outcome
• 8:00
  will change significantly if you choose to expect closure, you
• 8:07
  know, rather moving forward. If you move forward, your life
• 8:12
  is a different life. If you choose to have closure,
• 8:16
  you're stuck forever. Let me share you a story that I
• 8:21
  have seen in my close circles. All right.
• 8:25
  So I know people who are like, they had some, you know,
• 8:30
  disturbances in their lives and they were waiting for the
• 8:33
  apologies like almost from like since 10 years.
• 8:37
  Yep, that's a very long time. And I also know other people who
• 8:42
  got no closure at all, but they really built new lives.
• 8:45
  They moved to a new country, new relationships, new found peace
• 8:51
  anyways, right? They took the leap of faith and
• 8:57
  they did it. So this is the question, who do
• 9:01
  you think healed faster? This is for everyone who is
• 9:06
  listening to you. This is my question for you.
• 9:08
  I am going to repeat it once again based on this narrative.
• 9:11
  I just based on the story I just disclosed, who do you think
• 9:15
  healed faster? Exactly my point.
• 9:23
  So you think about that deeper and you answer yourself.
• 9:29
  If you get the answer, good. If you do not, you probably
• 9:35
  still stuck. You are still expecting closure.
• 9:45
  Let me just dive into next part part 4.
• 9:54
  I call this closure is overrated people really.
• 9:58
  Healing does not always come with ribbon tied around it is
• 10:02
  not it. Sometimes life leaves open loop.
• 10:09
  That's the truth whether we believe it or not, it does.
• 10:12
  Sometimes you don't get any answers, any explanations,
• 10:15
  nothing. Just life happens.
• 10:19
  That's it. I will give you an example so
• 10:23
  that you will all understand much better.
• 10:27
  Imagine a book or a movie you are watching, or you are reading
• 10:31
  a book. If you really really observe,
• 10:38
  not every character gets a perfect ending, isn't it?
• 10:42
  If you really, really, really, really observe a movie, Oregon,
• 10:47
  a book, the narrator or the director who is actually
• 10:51
  creating the stories. Not every character gets a
• 10:56
  perfect ending. No, at first, if you really
• 11:00
  observe, it just frustrates you. Why is it always about the main
• 11:04
  character? What happens to the other
• 11:06
  characters? Nobody cares.
• 11:08
  Nobody wants to know. Yeah, that's true.
• 11:12
  But later you realize that you know, that might makes that
• 11:19
  story real. That's what life might be.
• 11:22
  You just don't need to know in the 1st place, isn't it?
• 11:30
  Closure is nice if it comes, but it is not required.
• 11:39
  What do you think? Think about this a little
• 11:43
  deeper, not on the superficial level.
• 11:45
  Because if you just think on the superficial level, you would not
• 11:48
  get any answers. So think a little bit more
• 11:51
  deeper and deeper, you will understand what I am trying to
• 11:55
  say. So it is going to be very, very
• 12:00
  important to understand, isn't it?
• 12:04
  So now I am gonna move on to the final part of this episode.
• 12:11
  I call it part 5 How to move without Closure.
• 12:15
  I will give you like literally 5 practical points.
• 12:18
  You can note it down or you can write it down or you can listen
• 12:22
  it again and again so you will understand it.
• 12:25
  So this will definitely help for the people who are stuck in
• 12:30
  waiting for the closure loop. Number one, shift focus inward,
• 12:41
  which simply means ask yourself, what do I need now, not what do
• 12:47
  they owe me? If you get the answer for that,
• 12:52
  great. If you don't, do not worry, I
• 12:55
  still have four more practical points which might help you.
• 13:02
  Detach from explanation. That is number 2.
• 13:05
  Detach from the explanation. Not every ending has AY, that
• 13:10
  satisfies you, right? You get my point, right?
• 13:16
  Yeah #3 redefine healing. Yeah.
• 13:25
  Let us just say healing is nothing but being at peace.
• 13:28
  We do not need answers. The moment you redefine it, that
• 13:32
  is it. You are at peace.
• 13:35
  You feel much, much lighter. You can do move forward in your
• 13:39
  life #4 creating in your own rituals, like just say in the
• 13:48
  digital world in 2026, for example.
• 13:52
  You can just delete the chart, delete those photos you have a
• 13:58
  memory of closing those tabs. You know, something like that,
• 14:04
  that will definitely, definitely will help you one way or
• 14:08
  another. Try to do it.
• 14:11
  Because you know why I am telling all this?
• 14:13
  Because our mind is a beautiful thing which has a unbelievable
• 14:17
  characteristic trait that it will forget everything if you
• 14:22
  give enough time. Yeah.
• 14:26
  But sometimes you need to also have take efforts to move on,
• 14:33
  especially when you are stuck in this closure kind of a loop.
• 14:37
  You definitely, definitely, definitely need to move on.
• 14:42
  If you sit there waiting for the answers, you gonna be stuck
• 14:45
  there forever. God knows how much time it will
• 14:48
  take for you to come out. All right.
• 14:51
  So. Yeah #5 anchor forward, which
• 14:59
  means put your energy into like new projects, new journeys, new
• 15:04
  things, new hobbies, new anything that breaks the old
• 15:10
  chain, you know, keep yourself a little busy with the things you
• 15:16
  like to do in your life. That definitely, definitely
• 15:22
  helps. So do we really need closure?
• 15:33
  Really may be not. What we need is actually peace.
• 15:43
  What we need is acceptance. What we need is to remember that
• 15:54
  our healing is in our hands, not in someone else's apology.
• 16:03
  Closure may never come, but peace.
• 16:09
  Peace you can create today. Closure isn't an ending, it's
• 16:31
  actually a choice to begin again.
• 16:43
  Yep, I said it. Closure isn't an ending, it's a
• 16:55
  choice to begin again. And here is my question to all
• 17:06
  are you going to wait for the closure or are you going to take
• 17:16
  the choice to begin again? It depends on you.
• 17:21
  I hope you choose wisely though. So there we come to the end of
• 17:27
  this episode. Before closing this episode, I
• 17:33
  would love to thank you all for taking time and tuning in for
• 17:39
  today's episode. I am really, really, really
• 17:45
  thankful to you all because from the day I started till now, I'm
• 17:54
  getting a good response all over.
• 17:58
  So we do have an international audience as well and I hope they
• 18:02
  are able to understand what I'm trying to say.
• 18:07
  So thank you so much for taking your valuable time and tuning
• 18:12
  in, listening to my thoughts, my perceptions, my way of looking
• 18:19
  at life in general, and giving me this grateful chance to share
• 18:32
  with you all. So on this note, once again,
• 18:47
  thank you very much. And I'm gonna definitely going
• 18:56
  to catch you up with next episode that's going to drop on
• 19:02
  Tuesday. So I'll all catch you on next
• 19:11
  Tuesday's episode. So until then, take care.
• 19:18
  I hope you all are healing in much positive way and moving
• 19:27
  forward in your life. On that note, I am Doctor Mukund
• 19:36
  AKA Doctor M Rider. I'm going to drop off all my
• 19:41
  social media links in the description.
• 19:47
  You can check it out there. You can follow me there and if
• 19:52
  you really want to, if my episodes really helped you in
• 19:58
  one way or another, you can message me there sharing your
• 20:03
  story. Maybe if you are fine with it, I
• 20:06
  will also talk about that in my upcoming episodes, you know, so
• 20:12
  that we can have little bit more insights about this from own
• 20:19
  experiences of people all across the globe.
• 20:23
  On that note, I'll see you on the next Tuesday.
• 20:29
  Until then, take care. Bye bye.
• 20:30
  This is Doctor Mukund AKA Doctor M Rider signing off Peace.