Latest / The Breakfast Club / Therapy in Real Life: Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health | Essence Festival Live

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Therapy in Real Life: Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health | Essence Festival Live · The Breakfast Club

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything
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  Speaker 1: and everybody. You don't know if you don't lie about that. Right, Hey, y'all,
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  Speaker 1: what's up. It's Lauren de Rosa and this is another
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  Speaker 1: episode of the Latest with Lauren Rosa. This is your
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  Speaker 1: Deli dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news and
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  Speaker 1: all of the conversations that shake the room. Baby. So
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  Speaker 1: y'all know that we just had an amazing time at
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  Speaker 1: the Essence Festival down in New Orleans. I got a
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  Speaker 1: chance to host the main stage in the Convention Center.
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  Speaker 1: Shout out to the Essence Festival team, Tianna Taylor and
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  Speaker 1: the Aunties who put it together. That's her production company.
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  Speaker 1: But one of my favorite things that I got a
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  Speaker 1: chance to do was sit down with one of my
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  Speaker 1: favorite reality star girlies, Ms Mimi Sanders, who is on
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  Speaker 1: the cast of Married to Medicine. She's the founder of
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  Speaker 1: a company called Inner Community Health and she talks a
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  Speaker 1: lot about mental health, mental health awareness, autism because she
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  Speaker 1: is a mom of a kid on the spectrum and
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  Speaker 1: just everything preventive but also everything to kind of keep
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  Speaker 1: you feeling good. So we get in a live conversation
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  Speaker 1: on the Essence Festival stage. That made it a very
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  Speaker 1: safe space. So welcome to the safe space. Let's get
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  Speaker 1: into it. Hello, everybody, back again, y'all still doing good
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  Speaker 1: out here, all right, So this one's gonna be a
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  Speaker 1: little different because I'll be with you guys on the
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  Speaker 1: stage a bit longer, having a conversation live here on
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  Speaker 1: the Essence Festival main stage, because this conversation is gonna
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  Speaker 1: be therapy in real life, and we all need to
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  Speaker 1: check in y'all and checked in on y'allselves recently and
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  Speaker 1: maybe okay, here a couple people know I see some
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  Speaker 1: nose at least you honest me either. But today we're
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  Speaker 1: gonna check in sis. So you guys know the column
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  Speaker 1: and now it's live. This is therapy in real life,
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  Speaker 1: brought to life right here on this stage. We're doing
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  Speaker 1: this together. So raise your hand if you feel it.
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  Speaker 1: Raise your hand if you feel like this is a
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  Speaker 1: safe space, a collective space to have conversation. Okay, by
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  Speaker 1: the end of this conversation, my goal is to have
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  Speaker 1: every hand raise and here we're gonna ask that question
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  Speaker 1: to get at the end of this conversation. And I'm
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  Speaker 1: gonna not doing this alone. I'm going to be doing
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  Speaker 1: this with a with an amazing woman who is a
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  Speaker 1: professional in this space. You guys may have seen her
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  Speaker 1: on one of your favorite reality shows. Please welcome to
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  Speaker 1: the stage, Doctor Me Me, Hello, doctor Me, Any seat
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  Speaker 1: you want? Whatever? What's your you gotta side you? Okay?
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  Speaker 1: All right, all right, y'all. So joining me right here
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  Speaker 1: is doctor Me Me, Doctor Mimi, Season eleven, married to
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  Speaker 1: medicine correct Yes, wife and mother are three beautiful babies.
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  Speaker 1: Co owner of a mental health center, which we will
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  Speaker 1: talk about. I know you are a big autism advocate,
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  Speaker 1: stress advocate, uh, postpartum pregnancy advocate as well too, an
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  Speaker 1: author inner beauty, bringing the true beauty out of every woman.
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  Speaker 1: Are you as busy?
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  Speaker 2: Yes, very busy.
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  Speaker 1: You are very busy, but also Tennessee State University grad.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, TSU. Are you here Tennessee.
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  Speaker 1: State Universe And you went to school for chemistry.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, I major in chemistry and then graduated and went
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  Speaker 3: to medical school at Ohio University.
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  Speaker 1: So talk to us first of all a little bit
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  Speaker 1: about you know, what your day to day is like,
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  Speaker 1: a miss all of those things that we just named,
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  Speaker 1: and how you managed to check in on yourself.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so well.
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  Speaker 3: First of all, thank you guys for having me. I
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  Speaker 3: am so excited. I have been to essence as a
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  Speaker 3: small child, and now I am here, and this is
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  Speaker 3: just beautiful.
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  Speaker 2: I love being around just Black.
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  Speaker 1: Not only are you here, you were here, you were
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  Speaker 1: on the main stay.
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  Speaker 3: Well, well the low that ain't got good? No, So
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  Speaker 3: what does my day to day look like? Day to
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  Speaker 3: day looks different, and that is why I embrace pivots. Normally,
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  Speaker 3: I yes, I try my best to have slow mornings,
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  Speaker 3: but that always does not happen. But I always wake
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  Speaker 3: up in a sense of gratitude. I remember just reading
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  Speaker 3: what Oprah did daily, and she said, I journal what
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  Speaker 3: I'm great for fur And so in the morning, I'm
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  Speaker 3: journaling my gratitudes. I am making sure that I am
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  Speaker 3: doing my devotion. I'm just pouring into myself. So I
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  Speaker 3: want to set the tone of my day and I
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  Speaker 3: don't want anything to try to hijack that.
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  Speaker 2: But then, of course, you got.
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  Speaker 3: I got kids, I got a whole business, you know,
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  Speaker 3: I got to help the people. I got a husband.
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  Speaker 3: So we just have a lot of hats to wear.
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  Speaker 2: But I want to make sure I'm wearing it. Well.
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  Speaker 2: I don't want it to wear me out.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, but there are some days that we're being
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  Speaker 1: honest where wearing thin might be a thing for you. Right,
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  Speaker 1: So how do you checking on yourself? You don't even
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  Speaker 1: have the energy to sit in journal or to even
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  Speaker 1: think about gratitude.
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  Speaker 3: So the question is like where does the energy come? Well,
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  Speaker 3: if you don't have the energy to check in, and
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  Speaker 3: I think that you have to make time just as
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  Speaker 3: you would put your like a to do list, you
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  Speaker 3: have to put yourself on your to do list. And
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  Speaker 3: so we may not it may not look like it
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  Speaker 3: every day the same thing, but you're making sure that
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  Speaker 3: you are putting.
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  Speaker 2: Yourself your on the list.
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  Speaker 3: And it can simply be let me just have a
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  Speaker 3: let me just sit down for one moment, have a
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  Speaker 3: cup of coffee, and just make sure that I am okay,
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  Speaker 3: ask me.
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  Speaker 2: How are you doing Mierica? How are you doing? Me? Me?
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  Speaker 3: And sometimes it's not oh okay, I'm fine, I'm okay. No,
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  Speaker 3: I feel kind of like not a sary stab, but
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  Speaker 3: I feel convicted why And so just making sure that
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  Speaker 3: I'm checking in just like I would check on a girlfriend.
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  Speaker 1: Gotcha? At one point, you know when you're checking in
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  Speaker 1: on me, me, and you're asking yourself those questions like
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  Speaker 1: when do you realize that stress has become something that's
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  Speaker 1: not just normal stress and it's something that can be
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  Speaker 1: taken a step further? And what do you do in
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  Speaker 1: that scenario?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, So I tell my patients that you know yourself
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  Speaker 3: better than anybody else. So if you are even coming
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  Speaker 3: to my office or I'm seeing you online, I'm.
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  Speaker 2: Asking you, who are you? What do you like to do?
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  Speaker 3: And and I want you to be able to sit
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  Speaker 3: down and just really think about that question.
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  Speaker 2: And so you know when you're not doing well.
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  Speaker 3: And if you don't necessarily know, like okay, what is
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  Speaker 3: going on, your body's gonna tell you.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, if you don't.
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  Speaker 3: Take care of yourself, it's gonna the stress is gonna
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  Speaker 3: come out. So it can come out in any type
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  Speaker 3: of ways. It can come out of high blood pressure.
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  Speaker 3: It can come out as irritability, it can come out
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  Speaker 3: as hey, I'm not really communicating right to my loved ones,
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  Speaker 3: and it just can come out as just anything, vowel problems.
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  Speaker 3: It's gonna come. So I really want well, my goal
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  Speaker 3: in life is to have people to look at their
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  Speaker 3: mental health in a preventative way, just as we go
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  Speaker 3: to the primary care doctor, like make sure that they
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  Speaker 3: are doing the screenings for your mental health. And so
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  Speaker 3: we don't need to always be with a psychiatrist or
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  Speaker 3: a therapist in crisis. We need to be with a
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  Speaker 3: therapist or a psychiatrist like just daily and making sure
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  Speaker 3: we have that particular person and making sure that we
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  Speaker 3: are treating our mental health just as we are doing
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  Speaker 3: our primary or physical health.
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  Speaker 1: When you say that we should be asking for these
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  Speaker 1: screenings on a daily like how you just check up
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  Speaker 1: on yourself at like a regular doctor's office. What is
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  Speaker 1: it that you ask for? Like if I walk into
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  Speaker 1: a psychiatrist for the first time, or even my primary
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  Speaker 1: care doctor to get a recommendation for a psychiatrist or whatever,
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  Speaker 1: if I've never done this before, what do I say?
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  Speaker 3: So? Okay, So, if you're going to your primary care doctor,
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  Speaker 3: they are supposed to ask you depression screening questions and
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  Speaker 3: it's called a patient health questionnaire. Sometimes it's just two
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  Speaker 3: questions and sometimes it's like nine questions. They're asking you, Hey,
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  Speaker 3: have you felt depressed in the last two weeks? Have
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  Speaker 3: you really not been able to do your day to
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  Speaker 3: day activities? And that is I'm getting up, I'm making
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  Speaker 3: sure I'm doing my activities a daily living, showering, I'm eating.
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  Speaker 2: Right, how's your appetite?
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  Speaker 1: How is your sleep?
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  Speaker 3: Yes?
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  Speaker 2: Are you sleeping?
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  Speaker 3: And so, And they're asking you these quest questions and
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  Speaker 3: they are doing that particular type of mental health screening.
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  Speaker 2: But if they don't do that, you ask for it,
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  Speaker 2: say hey, I haven't been feeling quite normal.
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  Speaker 3: I'm feeling a little off, and they should also ask
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  Speaker 3: you follow up questions. What does that mean for you? Well,
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  Speaker 3: I don't necessarily get to sleep when I want to.
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  Speaker 3: I'm staying up. I got race and thoughts. I can't
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  Speaker 3: get my mind to rest. And they say, okay, well
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  Speaker 3: do you want to see somebody? Absolutely, and so that
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  Speaker 3: also is the hardest step for some of my patients,
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  Speaker 3: even asking that I want to see someone from my
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  Speaker 3: mental health. So also my goal in life is to
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  Speaker 3: break that stigma, like everybody has mental health, good and bad,
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  Speaker 3: and so as especially in our culture, we have to
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  Speaker 3: break that stigma that it is okay to see someone,
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  Speaker 3: It is okay to talk about your emotions, it is
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  Speaker 3: okay to have Jesus and therapy, So it is okay.
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  Speaker 1: For us on other things going here. Now you just
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  Speaker 1: say she didn't say it. Don't take it to the pool,
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  Speaker 1: take it to the doctor. Some of y'all get a
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  Speaker 1: bag out. That isn't what your grandma will be telling you.
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  Speaker 2: Take it to both.
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  Speaker 3: And so we are I really really enjoy what I'm
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  Speaker 3: doing because when I was, I guess picking my profession,
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  Speaker 3: I really didn't see a lot of us in those
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  Speaker 3: particular areas of mental health. And when you want to
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  Speaker 3: see someone sometimes you want to see someone that you
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  Speaker 3: can relate to, that gets you, that gets your culture,
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  Speaker 3: that can talk to you, uh in you know, in
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  Speaker 3: our way, uh.
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  Speaker 2: Huh, And that really does matter.
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  Speaker 1: I was going to ask, you know, how much does
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  Speaker 1: that matter? Right? Like finding someone? So if I'm a
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  Speaker 1: black woman, do I need to have a black woman
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  Speaker 1: psychiatrist or therapists or from black Like, how does that work?
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  Speaker 1: How do we try the therapist on for size? Like
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  Speaker 1: what's that process?
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  Speaker 2: Like I tell people, therapy is like dating.
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  Speaker 3: So you may not get the right one the rights
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  Speaker 3: at the at the first time.
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  Speaker 1: But when you don't get the right one when you're
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  Speaker 1: doing do you try again? You do? But you you
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  Speaker 1: a little scorn. It's a little different.
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  Speaker 3: Well, well no, because if you look at it, all
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  Speaker 3: things are gonna work.
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  Speaker 2: For your favor.
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  Speaker 3: And so you get to this particular therapist that may
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  Speaker 3: or psychiatrists that make you're not vibing with, you still
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  Speaker 3: have learned, Okay, this is a communication style that I
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  Speaker 3: may not receive well from. And so when I'm going
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  Speaker 3: to see that other psychiatrist or that or the therapists,
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  Speaker 3: I know exactly what kind of what I'm looking for
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  Speaker 3: more now, And so you're just you're just testing them out,
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  Speaker 3: and you're.
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  Speaker 2: Also you're advocating for yourself.
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  Speaker 3: My patients sometimes come with a list of what they
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  Speaker 3: want to work with and I said, thank you, give
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  Speaker 3: it to me because I need to know. And so
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  Speaker 3: we're just making sure that we're vibing someone that you
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  Speaker 3: relate to, because you also have to be very vulnerable.
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  Speaker 3: These first initial sessions are hard. It's like the bribing
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  Speaker 3: a womb. We gotta get up in there and that hurts.
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  Speaker 1: It sounds like what you're talking about is like when
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  Speaker 1: cause we talk about dating. There's dating and there's dating with intention, yes,
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  Speaker 1: and it sounds like someone Eventually you get to that
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  Speaker 1: pointy a therapist's journey where you're trying to find a
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  Speaker 1: therapist or the right psychiatrist, right, and your intention starts
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  Speaker 1: to develop because you understand what.
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  Speaker 2: You want of you don't want absolutely what I'm hearing.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, absolutely got you. Now I have a question about intention, right,
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  Speaker 1: because we all have family, we all have friends, and
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  Speaker 1: we love them dealing, but how can we support the
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  Speaker 1: people around us without taking on their emotional loads?
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  Speaker 3: You be honest, you tell them, hey, well, you learn
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  Speaker 3: how to communicate honestly, so you tell them.
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  Speaker 2: Where you are. And you don't have to tell everybody
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  Speaker 2: your business.
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  Speaker 3: But if you know you're at a place or don't
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  Speaker 3: have the capacity to take that on, to take on okay,
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  Speaker 3: what they're going through, you tell them, hey, I hear you.
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  Speaker 3: I want to I appreciate you thinking that I'm a
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  Speaker 3: person that you can come to. However, at this time,
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  Speaker 3: let me direct you to where I think that you
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  Speaker 3: should go. Don't don't have to do all the things
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  Speaker 3: as black women. Sometimes you want to carry everything or
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  Speaker 3: we have just innately been taught that or we've seen that,
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  Speaker 3: so we need to put it down, put the bags down.
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  Speaker 3: We ain't got to carry everybody stuff. Put your stuff down,
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  Speaker 3: and let somebody who is maybe a trained professional and say, hey,
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  Speaker 3: I picked that up because I know how to do it.
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  Speaker 2: I know how to do it and it doesn't weigh
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  Speaker 2: me down.
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  Speaker 1: Ergabadu's Bad Lady hits so different. Yeah, you start to
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  Speaker 1: understand that, and you get to a certain point and
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  Speaker 1: you're tired of you try to figure out your own
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  Speaker 1: heaviness and battling with others as well. That song hit
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  Speaker 1: a little different.
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  Speaker 3: And we have generational heaviness, yes, And so we have
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  Speaker 3: to understand and that's everybody. We have to understand that
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  Speaker 3: we are carrying a lot of things that.
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  Speaker 2: We never picked up.
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  Speaker 3: We just kind of just got it, whether it's from
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  Speaker 3: our moms or from my grandparents, from just society, or
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  Speaker 3: from like a systemic pressures. So really sitting down, and
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  Speaker 3: that's why I'm my advocate for preventive mental help.
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  Speaker 2: You don't have to be in a crisis.
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  Speaker 3: But we also know that there are things that we
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  Speaker 3: have that we didn't pick up that we need to process.
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  Speaker 3: So go see someone and say, oh, I'm good right now,
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  Speaker 3: but how can I be better? How can I live
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  Speaker 3: the best quality of life that I deserve?
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  Speaker 1: What's one thing you know? With all of your experience
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  Speaker 1: that you wish people really understood about mental health and
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  Speaker 1: like taking care of yourself, because I think it's very
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  Speaker 1: trendy right now to have the conversation and you know,
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  Speaker 1: but what's one thing that you're you feel like we're
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  Speaker 1: still missing the mark on that you wish people really understood.
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  Speaker 3: Well.
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  Speaker 2: I touched on it a bit.
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  Speaker 3: It is about being preventative instead of being reactive.
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  Speaker 2: Just a short story.
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  Speaker 3: When I was going through my training, you have inpatient
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  Speaker 3: psychiatry and you have outpatient psychiatry. And when I was
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: in the psychiatric units, I saw a lot of us.
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  Speaker 3: And then when I went to the outpatient psychiatrists doing
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  Speaker 3: my rotations, I didn't see a lot of us.
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  Speaker 2: And so that kind of just told me we perhaps
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  Speaker 2: are not.
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  Speaker 3: Seeing people until it is too late or were in
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  Speaker 3: a crisis.
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  Speaker 2: So one thing I want people.
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  Speaker 3: To take away from this is let's be preventative.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, let's make sure that we're.
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  Speaker 3: Checking in on ourselves, and let's making sure that we
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  Speaker 3: have someone, a licensed professional that can help us. We
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  Speaker 3: don't have to do this alone. We're not supposed to
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: do it alone. We thrive in connectivity. Look at where
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: we are, Yes, this is connection, This is good, this
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: is pouring into yourself.
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  Speaker 2: So kudos.
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  Speaker 1: Let's talk about protecting your peace, right, Yeah, that is
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  Speaker 1: such a that's also a buzz thing right now, like
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: protecting my piece and safe space. What's one thing that
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: you think is an easy, like super easy thing that
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  Speaker 1: everybody here today can do to actually protect their peace.
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  Speaker 2: You say no and set boundaries.
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  Speaker 1: That's not the easiest thing. Well, it's not.
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  Speaker 3: Well, saying the word no is an easy thing. Enforcing
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  Speaker 3: that boundary of no can be hard, but it starts
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  Speaker 3: with you saying no.
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  Speaker 2: I can't do that right now.
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  Speaker 1: No, it does.
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  Speaker 3: It's not an alignment with what I'm going forward right now.
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  Speaker 3: And so just saying no. And that's it's hard because
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  Speaker 3: it can't come from family. It can come from our children,
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  Speaker 3: it can come from work. But you know where you
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  Speaker 3: are mentally in the capacity, and if you cannot take it.
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  Speaker 2: On, it is okay.
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  Speaker 3: Does not mean that you will never take it on.
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  Speaker 3: It's just not right now, not today. I'm let me
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  Speaker 3: direct you elsewhere. So saying no and enforcing that boundary.
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  Speaker 1: And what about my last question to you in today's time? Right,
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  Speaker 1: like we turn on the news and you feel from
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  Speaker 1: the top of the segment when the news starts to
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  Speaker 1: the time the news ends. There's such a mix of
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  Speaker 1: emotions for people all over the world today and today's time.
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  Speaker 1: How does things externally like that, like news, media, music,
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  Speaker 1: like how do those things affect your mental health in
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  Speaker 1: ways that people don't even understand.
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  Speaker 2: It greatly affects our mental health.
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  Speaker 3: I would tell my clients and my patients that we
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: have to turn the news off.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: We cannot just have it on because it is going
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: to jump on you.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: The pressures we're in today's society, there are a lot
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: of just difficult situations and stressors that if you are
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: a very empathetic person that you're going to take it on. Yes,
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: And so set some time limits, set some boundaries for yourself.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: Hey, I want to know what's going on.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: I want to be informed, but I don't want that
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: all that information to transform me, right And so saying
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: no to yourself sat in that boundary or that time
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: limit and saying I can't, I don't have a capacity.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: To do that right now. And let's let's counteract that.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: So now we're gonna put on something that pours into
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: us and uplift us. So instead of the news outlet
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: or maybe I've watched it for ten minutes. I'm gonna
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: now put on some music that really is uplifting. I'm
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: now really gonna call that girlfriend that I know that
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: she pours out because that she has that gifting.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: So you're gonna find things and those are actually coping skills.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: So what serves you?
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: And we know what don't serve us because we get
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: that feeling, you know it chess, Yeah, So we know
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: what doesn't serve us, and so recognize that, but also
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: recognize what does serve you. So we're gonna sleep, We're
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: gonna make sure we're sleeping. We're gonna make sure that
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: we have a great diet, we're gonna make sure that
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: we're removing our body. We're gonna make sure that we're
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: in connectivity. And so we're gonna go back to what
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: we may think, oh, that's kind of simple, but.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: No, those are your core four love.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: You're gonna sleep, you're gonna exercise, you're gonna eat right,
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: and then we're gonna be We're gonna stay connected.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: The thing that sleep does for you just being able
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: to think through the rest of your week after you
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: wake up miracles. Well, doctor Me Me, thank you for
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: joining me in this conversation. Have you all enjoyed this
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: conversation now, i'nna ask you the question I asked you
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: at the beginning. It is did y'all feel like this
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: was the safe space? Doctor me Me gave y'all some
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: tests for re vulnerable up here? All right, y'all, this
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: is Essence Fast twenty twenty six. Doct to me me.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Thank you for all the work that you were doing.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Make sure you guys go out and support her book.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: It is the Inner Beauty, bringing true beauty rue bringing
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: the true beauty out of every woman. Yes, and where
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: can they purchase?
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: They can go online at inner Community dot getting, Innercommunity
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: health dot com. So I n n e R Community
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: health dot com and it has all my informations and
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: also about the practice.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Thank you, guys. But I tell you, guys, every single episode,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: y'all could be anywhere with anybody talking about all of
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: these things and the things, but y'all choose to be
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: right here with me, my lowriders. I appreciate you. I'll
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: catch you in my next one.