Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 62 - Screens in the Homeschool: What’s Too Much?

Transcript

Ep. 62 - Screens in the Homeschool: What’s Too Much? · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Christy-Faith: Hey, homeschool crew. Welcome back to the Christy Faith Show. This week, we're diving into a topic that's everywhere, screens. They're in our homes, it's in the news, and it's on every parent's mind. What does the research really say about screens?
• 0:17
  And how do we as homeschooling parents prepare our kids for the digital world that they're inheriting, but also how do we protect them from the harmful effects of too much screen time? And let's be honest, this isn't just a theoretical issue. Screens are in our homes every single day. And to be honest, I remember when Scott was traveling for work and I had two year old twins, a baby, and a five year old, YouTube felt like my lifeline just so I could keep everyone safe while I was making dinner. Not all of us have safe backyards or front yards and when kids are really little, they need to be looked after.
• 0:54
  Maybe right now you're in a similar boat to where I was when my kids were little alone with my husband traveling and not really knowing what to do to keep my kids safe. Or maybe you're worried that all those hours online are turning your kids into screen zombies. Either way, this is a conversation we need to have. So grab your coffee, settle in, and I don't know if I have all the answers, but it's worth a conversation. Alright.
• 1:29
  Let's go ahead and start the show. If you're concerned about screens in any way, shape, or form, you are in the right place today because let's face it. Homeschooling in the digital age is a wild ride, and finding a healthy balance with screens can feel nearly impossible. But here's what I know. No matter what your situation is, you probably would agree that if we don't have a plan, screens can easily just take over our lives in a heartbeat.
• 1:56
  That's why today we're diving deep into the real issues that homeschooling parents are facing with technology. We're gonna explore some of the latest research on kids and screens, and more importantly, I'm gonna arm you with practical, actionable strategies you can use today to reclaim your learning space and reconnect with your kiddos. And also, as you know, on my podcast and all in Christi Faith land, we are a judgment free zone. Today is all about helping you and honestly me, I'm in the same boat as you, get the best homeschool experience that we can for our kiddos with the reality that our kids are inheriting a digital world. So how do we balance all of this?
• 2:37
  Before we dive in, hello everyone. I'm Christy Faith, author of the book Homeschool Rising and the creator of Thrive Homeschool Community, a place where you can find not only valuable resources and really great training, but also some really cool lasting friendships. So if you are someone who still needs to find her people, we're here waiting for you. The inspiration for today's episode actually came from a recent TikTok video that popped up on my For You page, and it's been on my mind ever since. The video features a teacher sharing their experience in the classroom, and honestly, it's heartbreaking.
• 3:12
  If you've been in any educational setting lately, you may have seen this firsthand. I'm gonna go ahead and play it in its entirety, and then we're gonna talk about it. But before I show you, I wanna quickly talk about dopamine because the creator in this video mentions it, and some of you might not be familiar with what it is. If you listen to health podcasts or read textbooks or maybe your kid has attention issues, you probably do know what dopamine is, but the term is bandied about a lot. Dopamine is a chemical in your brain that helps you control your mood, motivation, and pleasure, and it's often called the feel good transmitter because it's linked to feelings of reward and satisfaction.
• 3:53
  So when she's referencing it, that is what we mean. So let's take a look at the video together.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I think that you guys don't know what's going on in education right now. That's fine. Like, how could you know unless you were working in it? But I think that I think you need to know. So here is exactly what it's like right now working in public education.
• 4:10
  First of all, the kids have no ability to be bored whatsoever. They live on their phones and they're just fed a constant stream of dopamine from the minute their eyes wake up in the morning until they go to sleep at night. Because they're in a constant state of dopamine withdrawal at school, they behave like addicts. They're super emotional, like the smallest thing sets them off. And when you are standing in front of them trying to teach, they're vacant.
• 4:35
  They have no ability to tune in if your communication isn't packaged in short little clips or if it doesn't have like bright flashing lights. That's actually the way harder part for me than just the outright behaviors is just being up at the front talking to a group of kids who have their eyes open, they're looking at me, but they're not there. They're not there. And they have a level of apathy that I've never seen before in my whole career. Punishments don't work because they don't care about them.
• 5:04
  They don't care about grades. They don't care about college. It's like you are interacting with them briefly in between hits of the Internet, which is their real life. I've seen some TikToks recently where teachers are getting a lot of hate, like, for not adapting to the kids or punishing them or whatever. And I just gotta say, like, I can tell you with absolute certainty, it is not the teacher's fault.
• 5:26
  It might be the parents' fault. It might be our capitalistic society's fault, but it is not the teacher's fault.
• 5:33
  Christy-Faith: Wow. My mind is blown. That part where the teacher describes kids as being in withdrawal, that hit hard. We've all seen it though. Right?
• 5:44
  The meltdowns when the WiFi goes out, the five minute wait suddenly feels unbearable without a phone in hand. It's not just kids. How many of us are instinctively reaching for our phones the second there's a lull in conversation? How many times have we sat in restaurants, looked around, and noticed that every single person is locked into their screen. Meanwhile, their actual dinner companion is sitting across from them like a forgotten side dish.
• 6:12
  Romance is kinda dead, folks. How do we get here? Does this resonate with you? Because these trends are everywhere in our homes, in our communities, and even in ourselves. How many adults struggle with too much screen time?
• 6:27
  Yeah. I'll be the first to admit it. I wanna hear your answer. Please let me know in the comments. And be honest, are you even watching me right now while doom scrolling with the other eye?
• 6:39
  I don't see you, but I kinda do. And I'm not judging because literally that was me last night. I noticed such a difference in my own attention span when I doom scroll, and it's just awful, man. I hate it, and I feel like I've wasted so much time. If you look at the comment section on that video, one person said, I'm so frustrated that all the schoolwork and the homework these days is just a learning game or some kind of computer activity.
• 7:05
  What happened to the basics? I've heard from so many current and former teachers and parents who are coming into Thrive Homeschool Community talk about the overuse and dependency of Chromebooks. If you have experience with this, I wanna hear your thoughts in the comments. Another commenter hit on a broader point. This person said, it's not just the kids.
• 7:26
  It's all of us. Smartphones have destroyed how we interact day to day. From school to dating, everything has changed. I've even heard some of the dating stories that have come across my FYP and they are terrifying. And then this next one got me in the gut.
• 7:43
  It's from a mother talking about her 12 year old daughter who already says that she doesn't wanna go to college because she doesn't want to start her life with a hundred thousand dollars of debt. Imagine that. She's 12, carrying that much anxiety about a future that she can't even fully grasp yet. And it's not that the daughter is entirely wrong, it's that we need to be careful about the burdens that our kids carry and at what ages, and it needs to be developmentally appropriate for what they can handle. These stories reflect something massive that we need to break down and make sense of.
• 8:14
  What is going on? Why as a society do we find ourselves here? And more importantly for us as parents, educators, and homeschoolers especially, what can we do about it? To help us understand this better, I wanna bring in some ideas from a fantastic resource. Jonathan Hite's research in his book, The Anxious Generation.
• 8:34
  We'll get into his important work right after this. As a homeschool mom who values a family together approach and leans towards the classical and Charlotte Mason styles, I often struggle to bring my educational vision to life with my kids' diverse ages and learning needs. With all our interests and super packed schedule, bridging that gap between the dreamy homeschool I want and reality, I gotta be honest. It's a challenge. Now, yes, I know perfection isn't the goal.
• 8:59
  But if you're listening and you could use a little easing of your mental load in your day to day, I found a resource that has become the quiet hero of our routine and it could be a really great option for you too. BJU Press homeschool curriculum. Now many think that BJU Press homeschool is solely an all in one option, and though it does excel in that role, did you know you can also opt for specific courses and tailor them to fit your family's needs just as I have? BJU Press homeschool provides the perfect balance of structure flexibility and easily complements my family's mixed age family together on the couch learning style. They are second to none in integrating a biblical worldview, stimulating critical thinking, and offering tons of hands on activities lessons.
• 9:41
  To find out how BJU Press Homeschool can come alongside you in your homeschooling goals too, visit bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes. I've got some news. There's a new reading curriculum that ditches workbooks and drills for fun and games. If you're thinking fun and games sounds a little too good to be true, it's not. Ninety eight percent of children improved their reading test scores in just six weeks with the reading skill set by Love Every.
• 10:08
  It's a phonics based program that follows a science of reading, but makes learning to read fun, motivating, and confidence boosting because it happens by playing games and then practicing with just right skill level books. Kids love it and parent educators love it, and it works. Visit loveevery.com/christyfaith today and use code christy 10 to get 10% off your purchase of the reading skill set by love every. That's lovevery.com/christyfaith. Heitz work uncovers just how much screens and social media have changed the mental landscape of youth.
• 10:46
  He pinpoints phones, particularly smartphones, as a major factor behind skyrocketing rates in anxiety and depression in young people over the last decade. Because you see, he argues and I believe he's right. Social media and apps are designed to keep kids hooked. Have you watched the social dilemma? I was ready to go back to a dumb phone after seeing that.
• 11:08
  There's the constant comparison, the need to stay connected twenty four seven. Even normal emotional development gets stunted because kids no longer have quiet time to process their feelings. Their brains are constantly fed with short exciting bursts of dopamine. And here's the kicker, with so many quick rewards, kids are losing the ability to work through challenges, to face boredom, or to connect meaningfully without technology. And the research is clear when it comes to screens and kids.
• 11:36
  An article I found called screen time and young children promoting health and development in a digital world emphasized that screen time for children younger than two years is not recommended. And for children aged two to five years, routine or regular screen time should be limited to no less than one hour per day. It highlights the risks of screen time for young children and warns about the negative effects on sleep, language development, and social skills. Another study called the effects of excessive screen time on child development examined how too much screen time impacts children's physical, emotional and cognitive development. It actually links excessive screen time to issues like obesity, sleep disturbances, attention problems, and increased risks of anxiety and depression.
• 12:25
  The study stresses the importance of parental guidance and setting limits on screen exposure. And finally, American Academy of Pediatrics article discusses how screen time affects kids aged five to 18. It covered both potential benefits such as educational content and social connections as well as risks including cyber bullying, poor sleep, and mental health struggles. The authors also recommend creating a family media plan to balance technology use with healthy activities like physical exercise and in person interactions. Now, as homeschoolers, we have a unique opportunity.
• 13:02
  We can tailor our children's education to reflect our values, leaving space for reflection, hands on learning, and real world skill building. But that doesn't mean that we're immune to the influence of screens. I love and appreciate online homeschooling tools. There are so many fantastic resources that make learning engaging, accessible, easier for parents, and more effective. But there's a big difference between using technology as a tool for education and slipping into passive consumption, like zoning out on YouTube videos of kids watching adults play video games.
• 13:38
  How is that even entertaining? I that's one I still have not been able to get. But clearly, I'm missing something there because kids love watching those YouTube videos. It's really tempting to rely on digital programs even for homeschooling because they're convenient. Many of them are good and valuable until we notice our kids forming dependencies on the entertainment rather than the actual learning.
• 14:02
  But the good news is that it's within our power to shift the focus. We can gradually reduce the pull of screens while equipping our kids with skills to thrive in both the digital and physical world. As you know, I am all about actionable strategies, and there are five things we can do to change the game for our kids. No pun intended. We will get to those right after the break.
• 14:24
  Before we continue, I wanna share with you a program that's been a game changer for our homeschool. At our center, we instructed and helped kids through pretty much every math program on the market and know firsthand just how important a solid math foundation is for our kids' futures. As a career educator with high standards, finding the right program that checked all the boxes felt like too tall of an order until one day I tried CTC Math. CTC Math is an online math curriculum for k to 12 students with motivating interactive lessons that allow kids to learn at their own pace. It does all the teaching and grading so you don't have to and their adaptive lessons adjust so your child is progressing confidently.
• 15:02
  With CTC Math, your child is getting a top notch education and you just made your homeschool life easier. Visit ctcmath.com to start your free trial today or click the link in the show notes. Struggling to find engaging high quality classes that fit your child's learning needs and your busy schedule? Look no further than Outschool, an incredible online resource perfect for homeschoolers. From arts, music, and languages to STEM topics like robotics and coding, Outschool has something for every learner.
• 15:30
  Not only do they offer exciting electives, but they also provide, wait for it, academic courses. Yes, even advanced ones. It's been a secret weapon of mine for giving my kids a well rounded, fun, and engaging education. Use code CHRISTYFAITH at checkout to get $20 off your child's first class or tutoring session. That's outschool.com code CHRISTYFAITH to get started.
• 15:52
  Okay. Welcome back. We're gonna hit these fast. Number one here, we have encourage boredom. Helping our kids learning to sit with boredom is an essential life skill.
• 16:03
  It is in those quiet moments that creativity, reflection, and deeper thinking actually happen. Unstructured play and hands on activities like cooking, gardening, and art can also provide these opportunities. So I wanna encourage you and myself to look up a list of handicrafts or maybe your child can pick up something and you guys can do it together. Two things I'm trying to do to help myself and my own dependency on screens is I'm making a point to shoot hoops with my son outside and also I'm knitting with my girls. My mom is teaching us all how to knit.
• 16:35
  Again, I want you to know that I am in this with you. This is a battle every day in my house too and I'm sure it is for you as well. Alright. Next, limit screen dependency. One idea is to create tech free zones in your home like at the dinner table or for family moments.
• 16:51
  You can set times in the day when everyone including you puts devices away. We have a screen free meal rule in our home and we also put our phones away when we're doing family activities together. Number three, focus on intrinsic rewards. We need to help our kids connect to the internal rewards of learning and growth rather than focusing constantly on external validation. And with all those dopamine hits from screens and all of those video games, this is really hard to do if we're not unplugged.
• 17:22
  So with your kiddos, praise their effort, praise their curiosity, praise their perseverance instead of just their accomplishments. One example is say your child brings to you a piece of artwork. Instead of saying, good job. That's the most beautiful painting I've ever seen, which actually is a lie. You can say, wow, I love the different colors you used here.
• 17:42
  Tell them that you can see the effort that they put into their picture, how much they're growing in their art skills. There are so many things that you can praise other than their results. Now, while we're talking about intrinsic motivation, if you're anything like me, one of the reasons why you're homeschooling is to preserve this in your kiddos. I teach several master classes that go into this and it's always so eye opening. Those master classes can be found in Thrive and also I do them on the speaking circuit.
• 18:09
  So you can check my speaking page to see if I'm coming to a city near you. Next, foster attention skills. Helping kids develop their focus takes intentional effort, especially in a world filled with digital distractions. Simple practices like taking a few deep breaths before starting schoolwork, stretching breaks, or even just spending quiet time outside can build your kids patience and attention. Activities like reading physical books, doing puzzles, or engaging in hands on play also strengthens focus in a natural way.
• 18:44
  And if your child is used to having a phone, a tablet, or an iPad at the dinner table, consider swapping it out for a coloring book, a card game, or another quiet activity to ease the transition. Small shifts like these can help train the brain to be engaged without needing constant stimulation. And our last one for today is rethink education tools. As homeschoolers, we can balance the use of technology in our homeschools with hands on projects, real world experiences, and traditional methods as well like books and discussions. After all, it's worked for thousands of years.
• 19:20
  It can still work today. Right? And yes, it's okay to use an online homeschooling curriculum. I am in no way stating that those things are bad and they should not be used. I use them myself and I'm thankful that they exist.
• 19:33
  At the same time, I really do try to be mindful and balance the online screen learning experiences that my kids have with non screen subjects as well. At the end of the day, it's about giving our kids what they need to thrive, not what's the easiest, the flashiest, or the most convenient, but what's sustainable and truly human? After all, we're cultivating human beings here. Jonathan Haidt's research, that teacher's TikTok, and even the heartfelt comments all point to the same truth. We need to reevaluate how screens fit into our lives and push back against a culture that insists they are the only way forward.
• 20:14
  I do believe our kids need technological skills for the future that they are inheriting. But at the same time, we do need to know the damages that too much screen can cause. This is a hard balance. This isn't the world that we grew up in. So if you're feeling like you're a little lost in this, you know what?
• 20:33
  Join the club. I'm there with you. And not to make it worse, sorry, but change isn't seamless. I can guarantee that if your kids spend a lot of time on screens right now and you start setting some boundaries, you will get pushed back. In Tuckman's model of group dynamics, this is called the storming phase.
• 20:53
  And I wanna talk about it because I feel like when we make big changes for better things in our homeschools, often our kids might fight us because it's new and that doesn't mean that it's not a fit or that they don't want it or that it's not a good thing. It just means that we are in the storming phase. It's a period of frustration, resistance, and even outright rebellion sometimes before we settle into a new normal and this is researched human behavior. So when you do start making changes, kids, and let's be honest, even adults will resist, and it's gonna be hard. You can expect complaining, bargaining, and pushing back against the new rules, But just know that is part of the process.
• 21:37
  If we stay firm, consistent, and loving, we will move through that storm and into a healthier, more balanced way of living. And also remember, you are in charge of your household. Define what truly matters to your family, set boundaries, and align them with your values, and trust yourself to make the best choices for your kids. You are not alone on this journey. Screens and digital balance come up a lot in Thrive Homeschool Community, especially in our office hours where we dive deep into these real life day to day challenges of executing homeschoolers with all these human beings.
• 22:12
  If you're not familiar with that term office hours, those are our live q and a sessions where I am there live with two other mentors, and we help you troubleshoot. We share ideas and support you in your homeschooling. So if Thrive Homeschool Community is something that you're interested in, we are there waiting for you right now. If you wanna connect more, come say hi on TikTok or on Instagram or check out that Thrive Homeschool Community page. You'll know within thirty seconds if it's a fit for you or not, and I would love to get to know you in there.
• 22:42
  Until then, happy homeschooling.