Latest / Meet Your Double Feature | Movie Reviews & Forgotten Films / B-Movie Sorcery in "Doctor Mordrid" (1992) / How "Kraven the Hunter" (2024) Ended a Cinematic Universe

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B-Movie Sorcery in "Doctor Mordrid" (1992) / How "Kraven the Hunter" (2024) Ended a Cinematic Universe · Meet Your Double Feature | Movie Reviews & Forgotten Films

• 0:09
  Tonight on Meet Your Double feature, a reclusive sorcerer
• 0:13
  investigates a string of supernatural robberies in Doctor
• 0:18
  Mordred. Then a super powered vigilante
• 0:21
  tracks down the men that kidnapped his brother in Craven
• 0:25
  the Hunter. It's a mysterious superhero
• 0:28
  double feature, and it starts right now.
• 0:39
  Hello and welcome to Meet Your Double Feature, a double-blind
• 0:42
  movie review podcast. My name is Thomas, joined as
• 0:45
  always by my brother Frank. Frank, how are you?
• 0:47
  Oh. I'm excited.
• 0:49
  I'm excited. He's excited, he's always
• 0:51
  excited because the show pretty good, pretty exciting.
• 0:56
  Pretty exciting, you could say. We have another back-to-back
• 0:59
  movie review in store for you tonight, starting with the blind
• 1:03
  recommendation that Frank gave me, which is Doctor Mordred.
• 1:05
  And then after our break, we'll be looking at the movie I asked
• 1:07
  Frank to watch, 2024's Craven the Hunter, both entries in our
• 1:12
  ongoing series talking about forgotten superhero films.
• 1:16
  And Frank, I'll say right now, I don't think we could have picked
• 1:19
  two more forgotten superhero films.
• 1:23
  Oh, totally. I'll, I'll get into that with
• 1:25
  Craven. But I want to hear about this.
• 1:27
  The good doctor, Doctor Mordred. The good Doctor Mordred, not
• 1:31
  Doctor Strange. Although you could be excused
• 1:34
  for thinking it's a Doctor Strange movie because he looks
• 1:36
  like Doctor Strange and acts like Doctor Strange and was
• 1:39
  clearly supposed to be Doctor Strange.
• 1:41
  Oh well it it literally from what I read that's the film
• 1:45
  began production as a Doctor Strange movie and then partway
• 1:48
  through they couldn't get the rights, realized they didn't
• 1:50
  have them in the first place and decided to just change the names
• 1:54
  of some characters around. It is interesting.
• 1:57
  I'm going to get into a little bit of production background
• 2:00
  just because it does help give context for what Doctor Mordred
• 2:02
  ended up being. But before we get too far in,
• 2:05
  because we always start with this, Frank, what caused you to
• 2:08
  pick this one for me to watch, given that, like with all of our
• 2:10
  films on the show, neither of us has ever actually seen it before
• 2:13
  now? I, I did watch a trailer for
• 2:15
  this one, which I don't always do, but I, I, I don't remember
• 2:21
  how I stumbled across it, but I saw the cast first, which is
• 2:26
  something we often will pull from in terms of
• 2:28
  recommendations. Like, definitely, you know,
• 2:31
  'cause we have the, the the lead is Jeffrey Combs, who I, who I
• 2:34
  think I mentioned last time is, is a big Star Trek guy,
• 2:39
  recurring Star Trek actor in a lot of the 90s shows, opposite
• 2:44
  Brian Thompson. Who is you?
• 2:47
  And I would most well know as Shao Khan from the 90s Mortal
• 2:51
  Kombat movie, who he himself has also done a lot of recurring
• 2:57
  Star Trek characters. Yeah, So that's where I started.
• 3:00
  And then I watched the trailer and I was like, oh, wow, this
• 3:03
  looks like hokey fun. And somewhere along the way,
• 3:07
  too, I saw that it was supposed to be a Doctor Strange movie,
• 3:09
  and then it just became its own, like, bootleg version of that.
• 3:13
  And that made it sound even more funny to me.
• 3:15
  So yeah, that's basically why I I queued this one up for you
• 3:19
  because I wanted to see if you also thought it was funny.
• 3:23
  Yeah, it's it's an interesting film.
• 3:24
  I do think that the cast stands out.
• 3:27
  I did look up a lot about the movie's production after
• 3:31
  watching it because by the time I was finished, I was like, OK,
• 3:33
  this is clearly some sort of very low budget, very small
• 3:39
  scope Doctor Strange RIP off. But how did that come to be?
• 3:42
  And I did read Frank what you mentioned which is that a lot of
• 3:45
  people assume that the production studio Full Moon had
• 3:49
  the rights to Doctor Strange but it took so long to get the movie
• 3:51
  going and out of pre production that they like lapsed but they
• 3:54
  just continued anyway. However, people who worked on
• 3:58
  the movie will contest that this is not true and have even gone
• 4:02
  as far as to claim that it is not a RIP off of Doctor Strange
• 4:04
  at all. Oh, interesting.
• 4:08
  OK, Can. What are your thoughts on that?
• 4:12
  Yeah, my thought is no, it is a Doctor Strange ripoff.
• 4:15
  Their explanation which honestly feels like legalese to me,
• 4:19
  although it was in an interview like 20 years later.
• 4:22
  Supposedly the person behind Full Moon Studios, Charles Band
• 4:26
  I think is the name which Full Moon is like a kind of a
• 4:29
  notorious like B movie sci-fi fantasy film studio from like
• 4:33
  the 80s and 90s. Some iteration is still around
• 4:35
  now, but they made films like Puppet Master and just all these
• 4:40
  low budget semi, you know, like horror movies or comedies or
• 4:45
  just weird stuff. The kind of thing that you would
• 4:47
  see as like direct to video VHS movies, which is what Doctor
• 4:51
  Mordred was as well. It just went straight to video.
• 4:54
  And supposedly the owner, the producer for all these movies,
• 4:57
  Charles Band, was friends with both Stanley and Jack Kirby, who
• 5:01
  are like the creative, you know, leads at Marvel for the longest
• 5:05
  time. Between the two of them, they
• 5:06
  created the majority of the famous like Marvel superhero
• 5:10
  characters like Spider Man, the X-Men.
• 5:13
  Basically everybody can be attributed to either Stanley or
• 5:15
  Jack Kirby directly. And at some point in the late
• 5:18
  80s, Full Moon Studios hired Jack Kirby to help them develop
• 5:23
  scripts for like theatrical film pitches.
• 5:26
  And it was there that Kirby supposedly made a character
• 5:29
  called Doctor Mortalis, who later reappeared as Doctor
• 5:33
  Mordred. Does that make sense?
• 5:35
  Wait, so so not Doctor Strange then?
• 5:38
  But that's The funny thing. This is their proof.
• 5:40
  They're like, see, we didn't RIP off Doctor Strange.
• 5:43
  We just hired one of the guys from Marvel to write a character
• 5:46
  for us and he gave us knock off Doctor Strange.
• 5:49
  And it's like, it's still a RIP off.
• 5:51
  It's still clearly the same thing.
• 5:53
  I think it was just that Jack Kirby was trying to get a film
• 5:56
  made and just worked with something that he already kind
• 5:58
  of had. Because I don't know,
• 6:00
  admittedly, I don't know who is credited with inventing Doctor
• 6:03
  Strange like the Marvel character, if it was Kirby or
• 6:05
  Stanley or somebody else. But obviously there was some
• 6:08
  inspiration taken because the the character design and
• 6:12
  description and the storytelling is all the same.
• 6:15
  The only thing that Full Moon is claiming is we never had the
• 6:18
  rights to Doctor Strange. Thus it was not a RIP off.
• 6:21
  We just made T MU Doctor Strange on purpose.
• 6:26
  It's not, it's not even a very strong argument against, Yeah.
• 6:31
  It's I found the dumbest quote that was, I think from the
• 6:35
  person credited as the screenwriter for Doctor Mordred,
• 6:39
  who also obviously has a vested interest in claiming that this
• 6:43
  was not a RIP off because he wrote the film and he was quoted
• 6:46
  as saying later on. Like, I don't recall Doc Strange
• 6:49
  fighting dinosaur skeletons. And I was like, well, yeah, not
• 6:55
  all the time. I'm sure.
• 6:56
  Like he he said it as if it was like a case closed kind of
• 6:59
  moment. And it's gotcha.
• 7:01
  That's pretty granular if you have to go that far to look for
• 7:04
  a difference. Which it's funny too because
• 7:07
  like pre 2008 you know MCU like most of these Marvel characters,
• 7:14
  like nobody would have known them anyway.
• 7:16
  Yeah, exactly. I think the DC pantheon of
• 7:19
  characters like Batman, Superman had a much stronger grip in pop
• 7:24
  culture than than any of these Marvel characters would have at
• 7:27
  the time. Probably so.
• 7:29
  I mean, I do know that there was like a 1978 licensed Doctor
• 7:33
  Strange film, but that one didn't perform very well and
• 7:35
  didn't lead anywhere. So I would say even just from
• 7:38
  what I can remember, having been born before 2008, the Marvel
• 7:42
  people that anyone would have recognized at that time were
• 7:44
  Spider Man, Iron Man and Captain America.
• 7:47
  That was probably it. Yeah, maybe.
• 7:51
  Or like the X-Men, I guess. Maybe 2?
• 7:53
  Oh yeah, the X-Men. OK, I'll take it back.
• 7:55
  Probably Spider Man and Wolverine would have been the
• 7:56
  ones that your average person would be like.
• 7:59
  I recognize them from comic books that I know what that is.
• 8:05
  Neither of which even compared to like Superman, Batman,
• 8:08
  because those were so much more established.
• 8:09
  They came about first. And to your point, there were
• 8:12
  successful film and TV projects starting from much further back.
• 8:15
  So for Marvel's case, Doctor Strange was like a nothing deal
• 8:18
  anyway, which is why it's so funny I think because now the
• 8:23
  character is known to people, it makes Doctor Mordred a funnier
• 8:27
  little RIP off in retrospect. But at the time nobody would
• 8:31
  have known. It's just like whatever, wizard
• 8:32
  man. That's it.
• 8:34
  Wizard Man Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize that this was a
• 8:37
  studio known for making kind of like B movies too.
• 8:41
  That that that's interesting and fun.
• 8:44
  It is interesting. Full Moon has the number.
• 8:47
  Like I said, the Puppet Master is one of the most popular ones.
• 8:49
  I think they made Doll Man, which is actually on my list as
• 8:52
  like a potential pick for this because Doll Man's not even
• 8:55
  really a superhero, but he has this title structure of one.
• 8:58
  He's just a very small cop. He's like 6 inches tall. 6
• 9:03
  inches tall. Well, he's he gets shrunken.
• 9:05
  It's like honey I shrunk the police.
• 9:07
  Essentially it's like. Oh my goodness that sounds so
• 9:11
  dumb. I love it.
• 9:12
  Yeah, which is also, and this will be the last bit of context
• 9:15
  before I dig into the movie. 1 of the only other places that
• 9:17
  Doctor Mordred appears as a character is that there was a
• 9:20
  comic book series written in the 20 tense called Doll Man Kills
• 9:25
  the Full Moon Universe, where Doll Man, specifically the six
• 9:29
  inch tall policeman, fights a bunch of other characters from
• 9:33
  other Full Moon Bee movies and Doctor Mordred is just in there
• 9:37
  somewhere. Oh heck.
• 9:39
  Yes. Why?
• 9:40
  Why is he killing? He's a bad cop.
• 9:42
  Why is he killing? Him, I don't know.
• 9:43
  I have not seen Doll Man. We might have to select him for
• 9:46
  her forgotten superheroes darn theme at some point.
• 9:49
  But anyway, that's the legacy for who this character is.
• 9:52
  I yeah, I never would have expected him to show up anywhere
• 9:56
  else. The the fact that he even has
• 9:59
  that kind of appearance in the 20 tens is kind of crazy.
• 10:02
  It is, it is. It shows like, I think movies
• 10:05
  like this, B movies, cult movies, like they leave an
• 10:09
  impact on certain kinds of people who then go on to become
• 10:11
  artists themselves and we'll just draw on those influences.
• 10:15
  It reminds me of how when we talked about Meteor Man a couple
• 10:18
  of episodes back, how the villains from that movie, which
• 10:21
  did not have a lasting impact, it popped up in like a Miles
• 10:25
  Morales Spider Man comic. It's the same thing.
• 10:27
  Like somebody somewhere had a had a moment with these films
• 10:30
  and then they kind of held on to it as as inspiration.
• 10:33
  I mean, I get it. There's definitely really
• 10:35
  obscure stuff that you and I will just reference to each
• 10:38
  other sometimes and just be like, Remember, Remember spider
• 10:41
  riders. I was about to say spider
• 10:43
  riders. Like if you would pause for even
• 10:47
  half a second I was going to make a joke about spider riders
• 10:50
  and that is very telling. That's exactly who I would put
• 10:56
  in something like if I was going to put an obscure character in
• 10:59
  there, I'd be like, I don't even remember any of the characters
• 11:01
  names from that show, but put one of them in there.
• 11:04
  Yeah, Doll Man kills the spiders from spider writers.
• 11:07
  It's our upcoming comic book. Just like a really sad cover of
• 11:13
  one of them holding their spiders like.
• 11:15
  No, no. But the spiders were big,
• 11:17
  remember? That's how they wrote them.
• 11:19
  Yeah, Yeah, I do. I do remember that, You're
• 11:20
  right. He does remember that.
• 11:21
  We both remember that. Couldn't tell you anything else
• 11:25
  about that show or like what they did, anything.
• 11:30
  I mean, I'll tell you what they did.
• 11:32
  They rode spiders. What else do you need to know
• 11:37
  that's it sells itself? That's it.
• 11:39
  Anyway, that's my preamble about Doctor Mordred because I think a
• 11:42
  lot of people who take a look at the cover are going to be like,
• 11:45
  what is this knock off of a Marvel character?
• 11:47
  Why did this get made? And the answer is it was just a
• 11:51
  cheap B movie that played on an existing idea because they
• 11:56
  technically had the work that Jack Kirby had done for what was
• 11:59
  Doctor Mortalis. The movie that he was trying to
• 12:02
  use to pitch it for never got picked up because that was more
• 12:04
  on the scale of like a theatrical release film.
• 12:06
  And then Charles Band from Full Moon was just making his little
• 12:09
  VHSB movies and was like, eh, whatever, we'll just, we'll use
• 12:12
  this for one of our films. Great, good.
• 12:15
  Good for them. Good for.
• 12:18
  Them So that's like unfortunately, maybe the most
• 12:24
  interesting stuff about Doctor Mordred is the context in which
• 12:28
  it was made, because as a film it to me, like what I have
• 12:32
  written down here is barely a movie.
• 12:35
  Oh, that's a. That's an actual note.
• 12:38
  Barely. That's a note that I wrote down
• 12:41
  is barely a movie, and not because it's a like an
• 12:46
  unintelligible mess, like we've talked before about films that
• 12:50
  just get lost in editing or they didn't have the footage they
• 12:52
  wanted and then don't come together at the end.
• 12:55
  But Doctor Mordred, they just weren't even aiming high enough.
• 12:58
  They had almost nothing but dialogue, very little action,
• 13:04
  very little effects. What they did put on screen is
• 13:08
  fairly nice looking. And I think that was almost like
• 13:11
  the full moon. MO was like, we're going to make
• 13:13
  a really low budget movies that kind of pass as higher budget
• 13:17
  movies. And Doctor Mordred kind of falls
• 13:19
  into this trap because when it starts you're like, OK, this
• 13:22
  looks like a movie and by the time it's over you're like, that
• 13:24
  was they didn't have any money. They had $4.00 to make this.
• 13:28
  Money. You lied to me.
• 13:29
  That wasn't a movie at all. It barely.
• 13:32
  So the the other thing I wrote down was this feels like someone
• 13:36
  took all of the downbeats of a story and just put them together
• 13:40
  and left out everything else. Because there's so many things
• 13:42
  that happened that would be nice little breathers in between the
• 13:46
  part of the movie where things happen, but you don't get any of
• 13:50
  that stuff. This is the Seinfeld of
• 13:51
  superhero movies. Like maybe something happens on
• 13:54
  the way to the Sanctum. No, nothing happens.
• 13:57
  That is so damning. Does he not fight a dinosaur
• 14:01
  skeleton? Bones.
• 14:02
  I mean, come on. I mean, we could talk about
• 14:05
  dinosaur, dinosaur skeleton bones, but that would be
• 14:07
  skipping to the exciting third act conclusion.
• 14:09
  So we should probably find it back to the beginning.
• 14:12
  OK, gotcha. Yeah, so let's not get ahead of
• 14:15
  ourselves here. We're going to blow all the good
• 14:16
  parts at the beginning. The film opens with energetic
• 14:21
  orchestral music playing over an extremely slow pan of a quiet,
• 14:26
  dark room. Good.
• 14:29
  You know what? I'm sorry.
• 14:29
  I'm going to stop you right there.
• 14:30
  Have you seen Begonia? No, I have no culture.
• 14:35
  I have not seen any new movies. I I, we just watched it recently
• 14:41
  and like that movie is, does such an interesting thing with
• 14:46
  the score where it plays the most bombastic, like energetic,
• 14:52
  lively score over the most mundane scenes.
• 14:56
  And I'm like, this is really interesting and I kind of don't
• 15:00
  get it. Like, like, I don't know really
• 15:06
  what exactly you're trying to evoke here, but it's, it's quite
• 15:10
  a choice. So that that just reminded me of
• 15:13
  that. But I'm sure this had less.
• 15:16
  I don't know, maybe. Maybe that was the same artistic
• 15:19
  intention here. I mean, in Begonia, I imagine is
• 15:22
  trying to create a sense of like discord or friction when the
• 15:25
  movie begins in Doctor Mordred, I think it's we need to score
• 15:29
  this with the music we already have in our catalog because it
• 15:33
  doesn't fit. I mean, what you're seeing in
• 15:35
  this opening pan is the I don't, he doesn't call it the Sanctum
• 15:39
  because that's what Doctor Strange's house is called.
• 15:41
  But it's clearly that same thing.
• 15:42
  It's where Doctor Mordred lives, and it's full of, like,
• 15:46
  artifacts and old books, and it's very ornate and kind of
• 15:50
  dimly lit. It looks like a cool place to
• 15:52
  hang out and read a book, but it just has this kind of like,
• 15:56
  jumpy Danny Elfman Batman music playing over it.
• 15:59
  And I was like, that doesn't go here.
• 16:01
  Like that's not what you're showing me.
• 16:03
  That sounds like the Shadow. The Shadow had very Danny Elfman
• 16:06
  esque music too. So that's our like immediate
• 16:11
  open is I will say too, Doctor Marjorie is like 75 minutes
• 16:15
  long. It's possibly the shortest movie
• 16:18
  we've covered on the show so far.
• 16:19
  And even at that length, it constantly feels like it's
• 16:22
  padding for time. Oh, really?
• 16:24
  For a second I thought you were about to say he's 75 years old.
• 16:26
  And I was like, oh, that's kind of fun.
• 16:29
  Actually he might be older than that.
• 16:31
  They make a joke about him being like hundreds of years old.
• 16:35
  Oh. OK, interesting.
• 16:38
  Let's dig into this. Tell me more.
• 16:42
  Yeah, so Doctor Mordred is a character.
• 16:45
  His full name is Anton Mordred. He is a Sorcerer Supreme.
• 16:50
  No, just a sorcerer, just a regular old sorcerer.
• 16:54
  I think he specifically says he's an alchemist.
• 16:56
  And the only context you have when the movie really begins,
• 16:59
  because our cold open is the bad guy we do briefly see after that
• 17:03
  opening pan, Shao Khan shows up and is stealing like raw
• 17:10
  elements from like an armored truck.
• 17:12
  He like brainwashes some armored truck driver to hand over these
• 17:17
  materials. Just kind of Mac guffin like he
• 17:19
  needs like pure silver or something.
• 17:21
  And then we see that the guard is fully brainwashed because
• 17:24
  Shao Khan kind of nods at him and he like shoots himself in
• 17:27
  the head. So it's immediately like, oh,
• 17:29
  spooky bad guy, let's go check in on our hero.
• 17:32
  And then we check in on Mordred and he's just hanging out in, I
• 17:34
  kid you not, this room I just described is in an apartment
• 17:38
  building. OK, like a big apartment
• 17:41
  building or? Like a small apartment building,
• 17:46
  nice, nice, cool. Which is so bizarre and I think
• 17:50
  was only done to create opportunities for him to talk to
• 17:54
  other people. Because at the beginning of the
• 17:57
  story, you see that he has his apartment, which is very
• 17:59
  suspicious. Like if you go in there, he has
• 18:02
  like 16 monitors up on the wall, like it's the bat cave.
• 18:05
  And he is, I, I kid you not, recording the broadcast TV news
• 18:10
  24/7 onto VHS tapes and just putting them on his wall because
• 18:15
  I guess he's low tech Batman. Well, I mean, he's a
• 18:19
  preservationist, you know, that's, that's lost media right
• 18:22
  there. Like, where are those tapes,
• 18:24
  Doctor Mordred? Where?
• 18:25
  Are those tapes? Yeah.
• 18:27
  It's just funny to me because I think the implication he sees
• 18:31
  like surveilling the earth in case he needs to go stop a crime
• 18:34
  or something, but a he never goes and stops any crimes.
• 18:37
  He only ever deals with like the main threat of the story.
• 18:40
  And also it's like you're a magic man and you're just
• 18:42
  sitting here rewinding VHS tapes and going to the store and
• 18:46
  buying those like blank 8 hour tapes that everybody had.
• 18:49
  It's just so incongruous right off the bat and almost like an
• 18:53
  amusing way. But all this is in his apartment
• 18:55
  and right outside the door is just like some old lady and then
• 18:58
  down the door from her is like his love interest for the movie.
• 19:00
  And I'm like, why are you here? Why aren't you in a better
• 19:03
  place? What like what city are we in?
• 19:07
  Is this like New York? We are in New York.
• 19:09
  That's a good question. The initial, like, villain
• 19:12
  sequence where the takes the silver from the armored truck
• 19:14
  happens in Rio, which we know because they had one shot of an
• 19:18
  establishing shot of that big statue in Rio.
• 19:20
  And they're like, well, that's it.
• 19:22
  There's goes the budget for the movie.
• 19:23
  Now back to New York City. Yeah.
• 19:24
  Where Dominic Toretto is. Dominic.
• 19:27
  Dominic Toretto, Yeah. Like they did Jason Statham
• 19:31
  saying Dominic Turreto specific. That's how everybody says it,
• 19:34
  right? We all saw what is it, Furious 7
• 19:38
  or they're ret cutting the end of Fast and Furious 3 and he's
• 19:42
  like Dominic Turreto, you don't know me.
• 19:46
  This whole show is just me doing voices and that's not who I am.
• 19:50
  It is now. It is now.
• 19:53
  It's just because Doctor Mordred is so boring.
• 19:55
  Like I was perfectly awake. I put this movie on at like 8:00
• 20:00
  PM yesterday and by the time it was over, I was bone tired.
• 20:04
  Like it's not even that long, but it just is so slow moving
• 20:10
  and nothing happens. Like we introduce that Doctor
• 20:14
  Mordre lives in this apartment and is waiting for the return of
• 20:18
  the villain that we just saw. Like supposedly he.
• 20:23
  They might be brothers or just friends, like they had some
• 20:26
  connection in the past. And for the past 100 plus years,
• 20:28
  Mordred's been waiting in New York City just in case the
• 20:31
  villain ever breaks out of like space jail and comes to take
• 20:35
  over the world, which is immediately countered by just
• 20:39
  thinking, why don't you just go wait by the prison?
• 20:43
  Wait, yeah. Where is it though?
• 20:44
  Is it in space? It's space jail.
• 20:47
  There's only two locations in the whole movie, really.
• 20:49
  There's his apartment and this set that is essentially outer
• 20:53
  space jail. Like, it's not on Earth.
• 20:54
  They don't give it a name that I can recall.
• 20:56
  But at a couple of points, Mordred will travel through a
• 20:59
  portal inside his apartment to go visit this, like, rundown
• 21:03
  jail, which he later says is where he put the bad guy 100
• 21:06
  years ago. But then, rather than watching
• 21:08
  over him in jail, he goes to Earth so that he can look for
• 21:12
  signs that maybe the bad guy has escaped.
• 21:15
  He's got to watch the news, man. He's got to see what's going on.
• 21:18
  I. Think that Mordred is slacking
• 21:21
  on the job? He's quiet quitting his
• 21:22
  Sorcerer's Supreme job. He's just like, they're like,
• 21:26
  don't you want to stay in this rundown uncle prison and make
• 21:28
  sure that everybody's safe? And he's like, no, I have to go
• 21:31
  try all the latest pizzas down there.
• 21:34
  Pizzas. What if he's?
• 21:35
  Trying to get at them through their pizzas.
• 21:39
  It's what was that? What was it's like that that one
• 21:42
  Canadian comedy you had me watch where like the lead detective
• 21:45
  was just going to like the strip clubs and stuff because he's
• 21:48
  like, maybe the bad guy was here.
• 21:50
  Like, that's Doctor Mordred. That's basically what Mordred is
• 21:55
  doing because it doesn't make any sense.
• 21:57
  Like they show you that he's the one who put Shao Khan in prison,
• 22:00
  which by the way, Shao Khan's name I think is Cabal, which
• 22:03
  sounds so similarly dumb that I'm just calling him Shao Khan.
• 22:07
  I think Cabal is a different Mortal Kombat character.
• 22:10
  Also. I was going to say I'm looking.
• 22:12
  I was confused. They might be brothers because I
• 22:14
  was, I'm looking at the cast here and it says Jeffrey Combs,
• 22:17
  Doctor Mordred. And then Brian Thompson, who is
• 22:20
  Shaw Khan, says Brian Thompson, Doctor Mordred.
• 22:22
  So I don't know if that's just a mistake, but.
• 22:26
  That is a mistake. He's not a doctor.
• 22:29
  Is Doctor Mordred even a doctor? Does he have a PhD?
• 22:32
  Great question. Doctor Mordred is a like
• 22:36
  criminal psychiatrist on top of being sorcerer, not supreme.
• 22:41
  He occasionally gives lectures of essentially trying to
• 22:44
  convince regular humans. Like hey, you should probably be
• 22:47
  more considerate of like supernatural forces when you're
• 22:49
  trying to profile criminals because some of these people who
• 22:53
  you think are insane, if they're operating under the logic of
• 22:56
  like Satanism or voodoo or something, you should at least
• 22:59
  know how those things work. It's very broad.
• 23:02
  It's only ever introduced so that he can meet his love
• 23:05
  interest character. Samantha Hunt is the character's
• 23:09
  name because she works as a consultant for the police.
• 23:12
  So like every new plot thing is just to get to the next plot
• 23:16
  thing. It doesn't really feel like it's
• 23:18
  building any character for for Mordred.
• 23:21
  I mean, we only got 75 minutes, man.
• 23:23
  There's a lot of we. Only got 75 minutes and we only
• 23:25
  really shot for about 40 of them.
• 23:29
  I just like, I'm trying to think of what other interesting stuff
• 23:32
  even takes place in the movie because you could summarize it
• 23:34
  all so quickly. It's like there's a case of
• 23:37
  recent robberies that have unexplained motives, where it
• 23:41
  seems like like the armored truck guy at the beginning,
• 23:43
  people are like trusted employees in these high security
• 23:46
  places are helping someone steal valuable minerals.
• 23:50
  Mordred immediately recognizes that this is the plan of Cabal
• 23:54
  because he knows what his plan has been the whole time should
• 23:57
  he ever escaped prison. So he's trying to figure out how
• 23:59
  to stop these robberies before he finds all the materials that
• 24:01
  he needs, or else he will do some villain plot of like
• 24:05
  summoning demons to Earth and taking it over.
• 24:07
  Along the way, he talks to Cabal like twice and talks to Samantha
• 24:14
  Hunt like twice. And then I think like the entire
• 24:17
  second act of the film is that the police arrest Mordred
• 24:21
  because they think he's committing the robberies.
• 24:23
  And there's like a 20 minute part where he's trying to
• 24:26
  convince Sam to let him out of prison so he can go save the
• 24:28
  world. And she's like, now he's like,
• 24:31
  come on. And then she's like, no.
• 24:32
  And then she does. Wait a minute, Wait a minute.
• 24:37
  Like who? Who is this guy?
• 24:39
  Like he could do magic. How did he become?
• 24:42
  Oh yeah, yeah. Let's talk powers.
• 24:44
  So I like talking powers. That's my favorite part of this
• 24:47
  season. It never makes any sense.
• 24:49
  Mordred and Cabal were born somewhere that is not Earth but
• 24:52
  does not have a name. I guess they're just from
• 24:54
  somewhere else as kids. They both had like magical
• 24:57
  powers because they were alchemists, the bad guy child.
• 25:01
  Show Khan always just wanted to take over the world and Mordred
• 25:06
  didn't, and so they became at odds.
• 25:08
  They fought, he put Show Khan in jail and then went to Earth in
• 25:12
  case Show Khan ever broke free because he knew he still wanted
• 25:15
  to take over the world. That's it.
• 25:17
  There's no other nuance, no other context.
• 25:19
  That's the whole back story. So they're from a, they're from
• 25:23
  not Earth, but he wants to take over Earth specifically.
• 25:27
  Why does he not want to take over where he's from?
• 25:30
  Because they didn't write what that is like.
• 25:34
  There is no other place. Like there's a place where the
• 25:37
  jail is. That's it.
• 25:39
  It's a phantom zone. Is is he in the Phantom Zone?
• 25:42
  He might as well be in the Phantom Zone.
• 25:43
  I will say this is a weird pull, but there's an establishing shot
• 25:46
  of the like space jail, which is this like floating structure
• 25:49
  just out in a void somewhere. But they always show up from
• 25:52
  really far back. And the shape of it and the
• 25:54
  colors. It looks like the Hyrule Castle
• 25:57
  stage from Super Smash Brothers. Like that's like off in the
• 26:01
  distance. That's what it looks like.
• 26:03
  It looks like it's that shape because you know this, I'm
• 26:05
  talking like the early Super Smash Brothers games.
• 26:07
  There's like Hyrule Castle stage that's this like big map that's
• 26:10
  kind of just like a giant floating rock because you could
• 26:12
  fall off the bottom. Yeah, yeah, it.
• 26:15
  Just looks like that. It looks like he's being kept in
• 26:17
  Hyrule Castle, but that place never gets a name.
• 26:20
  There's only one person there who's not Mordred or the bad
• 26:23
  guy. They say at one point there were
• 26:25
  other like security guards but by the time Mordred goes there
• 26:27
  in the movie they've all been killed because the bad guy did
• 26:29
  escape. Which is just an excuse to only
• 26:32
  hire 1 actor to play the prison guard.
• 26:34
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah.
• 26:38
  Some clear budget limitations, unbelievable budget limitations,
• 26:42
  which is why I say this is not a movie.
• 26:44
  Nothing happens. Like there's no set pieces.
• 26:47
  There's no dialogue to speak of either.
• 26:50
  Like we mentioned that both of these guys are Star Trek alums.
• 26:53
  If this was Star Trek level where it was kind of just like a
• 26:56
  play that was really heavy on dialogue and like theming, that
• 27:00
  would be fine, but they didn't write a good script either.
• 27:02
  It's just 75 minutes of sleepy Mordred time.
• 27:08
  I, I guess I'm still wondering. I mean, it sounds like they
• 27:11
  maybe didn't give us a lot to, to really delve into it too
• 27:15
  much, but like they're, they're just magic people from another
• 27:19
  world. Like do the other people from
• 27:21
  that other world also know magic or are they outliers in that
• 27:24
  case too like. That would be a great question
• 27:28
  if they had answered it, because there are no other people.
• 27:30
  Like at one point. This is a good example.
• 27:33
  In the bottom of the second act, Mordred has been trying to
• 27:36
  convince Samantha Hunt to let him out of jail for like 20
• 27:38
  minutes, and she won't do it. So he does like a magic thing so
• 27:42
  that he could show her images of his past, both to prove that he
• 27:46
  is a real sorcerer and to demonstrate the danger.
• 27:49
  And so he's trying to explain, like there once were these two
• 27:52
  young boys who both had magical powers, and he's talking about
• 27:55
  himself and the villain. And you cut to these two young
• 27:59
  boys, like just sitting in a room playing.
• 28:01
  And you would assume that this seemed to be almost like a quick
• 28:03
  montage flashback. But he talks for maybe 30 plus
• 28:08
  seconds over just an uninterrupted, like, slow pants
• 28:11
  shot of the two kids on the ground.
• 28:13
  They had nothing. They had nothing to show,
• 28:16
  nothing to cut to. They didn't have anything to
• 28:18
  depict in the flashback. So by the time it's over, you've
• 28:21
  literally not learned a single scrap of new information, he's
• 28:26
  just restating. We're both magic.
• 28:28
  I good magic, he bad magic I mean.
• 28:34
  Look, it's a, it's a second screen experience, you know,
• 28:38
  people that won't be confused. So it's really ahead of its time
• 28:44
  if you think about it that way. This.
• 28:46
  This movie felt akin to like, do you ever go on like YouTube and
• 28:51
  just put on like relaxing fireplace video and it's just 10
• 28:56
  hours of like a crackling fireplace so you could pretend
• 28:58
  you're somewhere nice. Instead of your apartment full
• 29:02
  of monitors. Apartment full of monitors yeah
• 29:07
  like that's the level and and with these videos they'll often
• 29:10
  have like a looping background image that like kind of looks
• 29:12
  like it has some movement to it and maybe for like a few seconds
• 29:15
  you'll look up at it and be like what do they got going on in
• 29:17
  there and then you look away because you're doing something
• 29:19
  else that is as much as Mordred would be useful for you just put
• 29:23
  it on and every now and again go what's that doctor up to and
• 29:27
  then you go about your day. Like I'm going to, I'm going to
• 29:31
  watch the Pit instead. That's he's a better doctor.
• 29:34
  I'm going to watch the Pit. Yeah, exactly.
• 29:36
  It's crazy. In case I did not cover it much
• 29:40
  yet, Doctor Morgan's powers are very vague.
• 29:42
  He, like Doctor Strange, has a magical amulet that he wears
• 29:45
  around his neck. That's the source of all of his
• 29:47
  power. But the only things we ever see
• 29:49
  him do are freeze people, like temporarily so that he can run
• 29:54
  away from them. Or I think he summons like a
• 29:58
  fake gun to make someone think he has a gun and that's about
• 30:03
  it. That's so lame.
• 30:06
  It's like so you can do magic and the best you can do is
• 30:10
  pretend to have a gun like. Yeah, pretty much I.
• 30:14
  Mean that's something any normal person could have.
• 30:16
  Exactly. He's he might as well do the
• 30:18
  thing where you put your hand in like your coat pocket to pretend
• 30:20
  you have a gun. Yeah.
• 30:22
  That's 90% of the movie. Like there's no magic.
• 30:24
  The only thing that gets repeated is that like I'm going
• 30:26
  to free someone in place thing because that's how he gets out
• 30:30
  of jail too. As he convinces Sam Hunt to do
• 30:32
  that for him. He's like, oh, the the magic
• 30:35
  amulet by the way, you don't need to be skilled to use it.
• 30:37
  There's just a button and if you press the button, it'll freeze
• 30:39
  someone in place. So.
• 30:41
  This guy doesn't even know any magic.
• 30:43
  He's a bit. Phony anything, The only
• 30:45
  exception, and we're here now. This is the main event.
• 30:48
  After that exciting 1st 60 minutes, we're at the dinosaur
• 30:52
  skeletons. Now you better listen.
• 30:56
  You could pay for the whole seat, but you're only going to
• 30:58
  need the edge for this next part.
• 31:01
  Cool. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to
• 31:04
  hype it up. So the final thing that Cabal
• 31:08
  needs is the Philosopher's Stone, which, yes, is the name
• 31:14
  of the first Harry Potter book. I wasn't going to say it.
• 31:16
  I wasn't going to say anything. It's the first Harry Potter
• 31:19
  book, at least the UK version. Philosopher's Stone.
• 31:21
  It has some historical context. I don't know what it is.
• 31:24
  I think it turns things into gold.
• 31:25
  Anyway. He knows Mordred knows that it's
• 31:27
  at the Cosmopolitan Museum in New York City, and he knows that
• 31:33
  the bad guy is already physically there to steal it.
• 31:36
  And so he tells Sam Hunt, I can't get there in time, which
• 31:39
  he literally says is because of, quote, traffic.
• 31:42
  That's his big obstacle. I can't go stop the bad guy in
• 31:44
  person because it's New York City and there's traffic.
• 31:47
  And so. Which is true, but so pathetic.
• 31:51
  It is extremely pathetic. She even says she's like, what
• 31:55
  are you going to do, fly? And then he looks at her like we
• 31:58
  don't have money for fly. We cut the fly so.
• 31:59
  Instead, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.
• 32:02
  Instead, he just projects his astral form to the museum so
• 32:08
  that he's not physically there, but the actor's there.
• 32:10
  And he's like, there is a spirit essentially.
• 32:12
  And then the the following interaction doesn't really make
• 32:14
  a lot of sense because Shao Khan is like, you can't stop me.
• 32:18
  You're not really here. And then Mordred says, I may not
• 32:21
  be here, but I can still cast a spell.
• 32:24
  And so he shoots a spell in like sense of flying through a wall,
• 32:27
  and I'm like, OK, why does it even matter if you're there
• 32:30
  then? That's the thing you'd be afraid
• 32:32
  of you doing anyway. It's it's actually better that
• 32:35
  you're not there because then he can't do anything back to you.
• 32:38
  Exactly. So this is a huge upgrade.
• 32:41
  This is such good meta gaming from wardrobe.
• 32:43
  He's like, oh, I can just send my invincible astral form and
• 32:45
  shoot lightning bolts. That's more than I did as a
• 32:48
  human man. And then I guess that somehow
• 32:50
  leads to Shao Khan deciding I'm going to use my magic to bring a
• 32:56
  dinosaur skeleton inside the museum to life.
• 32:59
  Not to harm Mordred, but to harm some security guards because
• 33:03
  it'll make Mordred sad. Not like distract him, it'll
• 33:07
  just it'll just upset him. He doesn't have a goal.
• 33:11
  There's no thought to any of this.
• 33:12
  It's not really like a clever sequence.
• 33:14
  He's just like, Oh yeah, what if I killed that security guard?
• 33:18
  And then Mordred's solution is what if I summoned the other
• 33:21
  dynoskeleton to fight your dynoskeleton?
• 33:24
  Oh, OK, All right, now we're talking now.
• 33:27
  There's 2 now. We're talking and you're
• 33:28
  wondering how they do this on their $4.00 budget.
• 33:30
  Once again, second episode in a row, we have some very adorable
• 33:34
  stop motion animations. Yeah, yeah, of course, of course
• 33:37
  it had to be of. Course, yeah, I did stop motion.
• 33:41
  And then it's just I'm so I'm getting tired of even thinking
• 33:43
  about it because it's so boring. This happens and then the bad
• 33:48
  guy, once again, it's like, OK, cool, your Dino beat my Dino,
• 33:51
  but you still can't stop me. You're not really here.
• 33:54
  And then he goes to like, finish this spell that will summon all
• 33:57
  of these demons. And for half a second you see
• 34:00
  the demons he's about to summon. They're also stop motion.
• 34:02
  They're very, they're very cute. And then Mordred just goes like,
• 34:05
  you haven't won yet and then uses the Dino skeleton that he
• 34:09
  had from a second ago to impale the bad guy and he kills him.
• 34:12
  And that's it. That's the movie.
• 34:15
  Uh oh. OK, no, that's that abrupt, this
• 34:17
  is. Wow, it is that abrupt.
• 34:20
  They're joking, they're laughing about their Dino skeletons
• 34:22
  fighting each other, and I guess the bad guy never stops to think
• 34:24
  that that is a concern to him. And then Mordred announces he's
• 34:28
  about to attack him and the guy doesn't get out of the way and
• 34:31
  just dies. I mean, that's kind of on him.
• 34:35
  You know it's. Kind of on him.
• 34:36
  He gave a fair warning. He let him know he's like, I'm
• 34:38
  gonna get you, I'm gonna get you I'm.
• 34:40
  Gonna get you, and then the guy's like, what's he going to
• 34:42
  do, get me? And then he got caught.
• 34:46
  That's that's all idiots. So then that's the end of the
• 34:56
  the threat. After that Mordred just leaves.
• 35:01
  Like he goes back to his love interest girlfriend and he gets
• 35:05
  called away by his superior who is just a pair of floating
• 35:09
  eyeballs in space. Just the eyeballs, just the
• 35:14
  eyeballs, just floating eyes. And he's just like, I got to go
• 35:18
  now I've given my identity away. I have to leave Earth.
• 35:21
  And she's like, well, what will I do without you?
• 35:22
  And he's like, well you should watch over my cool apt I.
• 35:26
  Know you're lying, he tells her to watch the monitors.
• 35:29
  He. Tells her to watch over his
• 35:30
  bird. His bird, OK, Is he going to
• 35:33
  come back or she's like, do I just got to take care of this
• 35:36
  bird now? Like, do I have to pay your
• 35:37
  rent? Like what's going on here?
• 35:38
  Oh, my God, I'm sorry, I forgot. So they make a point early on of
• 35:42
  being like, nobody here knows who the landlord is because
• 35:44
  they're never around. And then in the second act of
• 35:47
  the movie, Sam Hunt is like, why do you have my rent check
• 35:50
  sitting on your night stand? And then he's like, oh, I'm the
• 35:53
  landlord of this building. That's how I get away with it
• 35:55
  being like a secret base. But it's like, OK, you have
• 36:00
  enough money to own a property, but you let random people live
• 36:04
  in it who could easily find out that you're a sorcerer.
• 36:07
  New York's expensive man It's. Just so lame.
• 36:13
  He's such a loser. Like, yeah, he doesn't have
• 36:17
  enough money for a bat cave even though he's been around for 200
• 36:20
  years. He puts everything on VHS tapes
• 36:23
  and then he can't make it through traffic to fight crime,
• 36:26
  so he just throws a dinosaur at a guy which.
• 36:31
  Proved very effective though. Extremely.
• 36:34
  You didn't have to say the embarrassing part about how you
• 36:37
  can't get through traffic. You could have pretended Dr.
• 36:39
  Mordred. You could have protect.
• 36:40
  Your plan, you know. You could have been like not to
• 36:43
  worry this is literally 0 downside.
• 36:45
  I'm just going to go over there as a force ghost.
• 36:48
  I was going to say, yeah, it was starting to sound like the end
• 36:51
  of whatever Star Wars movie that was where Luke's force ghost
• 36:56
  shows up at the end. And.
• 36:58
  Does nothing. That's it.
• 37:00
  I mean, I you were asking, does she stay at his apartment
• 37:03
  forever too? We jump ahead like 6 months and
• 37:06
  she's sitting in the apartment alone talking to his pet crow
• 37:10
  and she says out loud to him, like, man, I'd rather not be
• 37:13
  spending Christmas alone. But I guess I'm just going to
• 37:15
  drink eggnog and watch It's a Wonderful Life again, which I
• 37:19
  mean, fair, that's fair game. We do that all the time.
• 37:22
  But and then wardrobe just comes back.
• 37:25
  It's just like the next scene. He just comes back and he's
• 37:27
  like, I think the last line of the movie is he's trying to
• 37:30
  cheer her up because he's like, now why don't we drink some
• 37:33
  eggnog and watch our movie? Which means that Doctor Mordred
• 37:37
  is a movie that ends with an invitation for the audience to
• 37:40
  go watch a better movie. Which also, this is like the
• 37:44
  third or fourth time that It's a Wonderful Life has like been
• 37:47
  mentioned or appeared in one of the movies we've watched on the
• 37:50
  show. It's just like is constantly
• 37:53
  referenced in other movies. I was hoping he was going to
• 37:56
  come back at the end and just like take the rent checks off
• 38:00
  the table and then leave again. Your rent is overdue.
• 38:04
  And then he's like, what? I thought, OK.
• 38:06
  And then he just goes and gets pizza at the end.
• 38:08
  Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
• 38:12
  I've told you everything. Like, normally we leave some
• 38:14
  stuff out because we can't tell you every single thing that
• 38:17
  happens or we don't want to spoil the ending.
• 38:19
  That's the whole movie. You've heard it, you've seen it.
• 38:21
  That's it. Wow, that was, that was really
• 38:24
  good, yeah. Great.
• 38:26
  Right. This feels like quite the quite
• 38:35
  the rug pull type movie where it's just like hey, hey guys,
• 38:41
  listen it's 1992 you've never heard of Doctor Strange.
• 38:45
  But like what if also instead Doctor Mordred?
• 38:48
  Am I right? And you're like, cool, what does
• 38:50
  he do? And it's like nothing.
• 38:54
  Nothing at all. It'd be cool if he had a gun.
• 38:57
  Right, but he doesn't be cool if he had a gun.
• 38:59
  He has a fake gun. He's he's your landlord.
• 39:01
  Does that make? Does that endear you to him?
• 39:05
  Good. All right, great.
• 39:07
  Yeah, thank you for that. 10 out of 10 out of 10, Doctor Mordred.
• 39:11
  I guess we'll get into scores later.
• 39:14
  Do you have any questions? Is there any?
• 39:16
  Did I? Do you feel like I painted the
• 39:17
  picture of Doctor Mordred? It's just it just sounds very
• 39:26
  like still kind of funny, but just like very unfortunately
• 39:32
  short and pointless. And like, ultimately I like I I
• 39:37
  will get into it, but I kind of feel I have similar thoughts
• 39:40
  about the movie I watched where during like while watching it,
• 39:46
  you're just kind of like, who is this for?
• 39:48
  Like what are we even like? Why are we?
• 39:50
  Why are we even pretending like? What?
• 39:52
  Why are? Yeah, nobody needs this in their
• 39:54
  life. Film is entertainment, But
• 39:57
  theoretically, there's supposed to be some value, even if the
• 40:00
  value is entertainment. And this one just doesn't offer
• 40:05
  almost anything. Like, I'm trying to balance this
• 40:08
  out with a couple of, like, bright spots in the movie.
• 40:11
  The only things I could say are that the love interest character
• 40:14
  Sam Hunt. Is treated as just a person.
• 40:18
  And so often we watch these older films like the female lead
• 40:22
  is just treated as like a sex object or like a, you know, a
• 40:25
  damsel. And they just have a lot of like
• 40:27
  boring trophy elements to that story where Sam Hunt is just
• 40:31
  like treated just, you know, a smart, capable adult woman in
• 40:37
  the narrative. Like, you know what?
• 40:38
  That's a very low bar, but at least we didn't have that
• 40:40
  problem on top of everything else.
• 40:42
  I mean, she sounds better than Doctor Mordred.
• 40:44
  Just give her that amulet thing and her eggnog and just let her
• 40:47
  loose on New York City to stop crime or whatever.
• 40:51
  Yeah, she'd probably do a better job.
• 40:52
  She does. Amusingly, like, they specify
• 40:56
  that the amulet doesn't hurt the person that you use it on if you
• 40:59
  freeze them in place. So that's how he's trying to
• 41:01
  convince her, Like, oh, it's OK. I just need you to, like, they
• 41:04
  took it for me when I was arrested.
• 41:06
  I need you to go into the lab room and, like, use it to
• 41:09
  escape. Don't worry, you won't hurt
• 41:10
  anybody. But then it's like a joke.
• 41:13
  The lab guy is drinking something when she activates it.
• 41:16
  And so in order to show that he's frozen, you just see the
• 41:18
  drink, like, pouring down his face while he's like, still.
• 41:21
  And I was like, well, she might have killed that guy.
• 41:24
  He's going to drown by the time he goes back up.
• 41:26
  Yeah, she got him. Still got to be careful with
• 41:28
  that amulet. Still got to be careful.
• 41:30
  That's my like alternate ending version is where he just comes
• 41:33
  in. She she's like you said it
• 41:35
  wouldn't hurt anybody and he's like, I mean, you got to use
• 41:37
  some common sense. Sam, come.
• 41:41
  On think about it, does anybody, does anybody even like regular
• 41:48
  Doctor Strange, honestly, like. Interesting.
• 41:52
  Interesting, is that anyone's favorite?
• 41:54
  Like even now? Like I feel like even the MCU
• 41:57
  kind of realized, like I feel like people like his sidekick
• 42:00
  long more than him. So like, you know.
• 42:03
  Works as a plot device character in other people's stories just
• 42:08
  fine. I think all of the stuff he does
• 42:11
  in like Avengers End Game and Infinity War totally fine.
• 42:15
  As a person who has to sell you on a property himself at No, not
• 42:19
  at all. Right.
• 42:21
  Like I feel like on paper he should be interesting just like
• 42:24
  superhero magic man, but like actually no actually really lame
• 42:29
  and boring honestly. Yeah, now imagine that, but more
• 42:34
  lame and boring. Yeah, yeah, well, I'm glad you
• 42:41
  loved Doctor Mordred. I you.
• 42:42
  Know, yeah, really good, not a good, really browsing feel
• 42:46
  strongly about it and on that high note it's just really good
• 42:50
  stuff. We're going to move into our
• 42:51
  intermission now. Good.
• 42:54
  Good, great, good, good. I feel good.
• 43:03
  That's it. See you in a minute.
• 43:11
  OK, Taking a moment here during our intermission again this week
• 43:14
  to shout out another podcast out there that Frank and I are fans
• 43:17
  of and wanted to recommend to you all as well.
• 43:20
  If you're enjoying our light hearted movie chats then why not
• 43:23
  check out the No Context Cinema Club, a show where a culturally
• 43:27
  naive xenophobe attempts to rewrite Hollywood history one
• 43:30
  movie at a time. Each week the imaginative Rob is
• 43:34
  challenged to create an alternative version of a famous
• 43:36
  film, armed only with the title and the often weaponized clues
• 43:40
  that his Co host Kev provides for him.
• 43:43
  Will Rob's work be a plot of cinematic genius or simply
• 43:46
  descend into the deranged ramblings of a lunatic?
• 43:49
  Only one thing's for certain, he'll definitely try and force
• 43:51
  in a montage or two along the way.
• 43:54
  So again, if you're in the mood for a more lighthearted movie
• 43:56
  chat much like our own on Meet Your Double Feature, why not try
• 43:59
  out the Nocontext Cinema Club, available now on your podcast
• 44:03
  provider of choice? Frank and I are both big fans of
• 44:06
  No Context Cinema Club, so I wanted to give a special shout
• 44:08
  out to Rob and Kev. Their show launched only a
• 44:11
  couple of months back, but they have already covered almost a
• 44:14
  dozen different movie pitches and it's a whole ton of fun.
• 44:17
  If you enjoy the comedy side of what we do here on Meet Your
• 44:19
  Double Feature, you'll definitely get a lot out of No
• 44:22
  Context Cinema Club, so thanks again for going to check them
• 44:25
  out. OK, back now from the other side
• 44:31
  of the break, Frank. Following that thrilling
• 44:35
  breakdown of every single frame of Doctor Mordred, we turn now
• 44:38
  to the film I asked you to cover for tonight's episode, the most
• 44:42
  recent film we've ever discussed on our main program, 2024's
• 44:47
  Craven the Hunter. What?
• 44:50
  What was that? What was Craven the Hunter?
• 44:52
  What was? No, you tell me.
• 44:55
  You got it. You got to tell me.
• 44:56
  Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I.
• 44:57
  Got to tell you. So I as I recall I was looking
• 45:02
  at the Sony, what do they call it?
• 45:03
  I think the official name is the Sony Spider Man universe, which
• 45:07
  is the Spider Man universe? Yes, SSU without Spider Man,
• 45:13
  which is kind of missing when one of your 3 letters isn't in
• 45:16
  it. So they're just making
• 45:19
  standalone films with some loose connecting threads mostly about
• 45:22
  spider man villains. The most prolific is the Venom
• 45:25
  movies which had a whole trilogy and then there was like Morbius,
• 45:29
  which was like a a meme because of how hard it flopped.
• 45:32
  And then even like Madame Webb was kind of a meme before it
• 45:34
  came out. And then people forgot Craven
• 45:36
  came and went and I swear it's not even a real film because
• 45:40
  dude, I, I didn't hear anything about it.
• 45:42
  I didn't hear good or bad or funny or not funny.
• 45:45
  Like if you told me that this whole movie was just a poster on
• 45:48
  a wall I I would believe it IA. 100% agree, I watched this movie
• 45:53
  and I still don't believe it exists.
• 45:55
  Like this, this might be the most forgotten of superhero
• 46:01
  movies for for this season's premise.
• 46:03
  I forgot this movie like in real time as I was watching it.
• 46:09
  Like the credit set, you're just like, is something starting?
• 46:12
  What's happening? It's like memento, I was like,
• 46:15
  is somebody chasing me? Like how did I get here?
• 46:18
  Every free set, every time you've seen changes, it's like.
• 46:21
  But who is that man? What?
• 46:23
  What? It's so strange.
• 46:26
  And you said that, you know, you brought up the SSU.
• 46:30
  This is the last this killed that whole thing that that's
• 46:33
  done now because of. Oh, really?
• 46:34
  Yeah. Wait, even though so even though
• 46:38
  they're making another spider man with that same spider man,
• 46:41
  none of us, none of us is part of it.
• 46:43
  It's all dead. Well, OK, I don't know.
• 46:46
  I mean, I really, really doubt the only person I could see from
• 46:51
  from these movies making an appearance would be Tom Hardy.
• 46:54
  Maybe, but in terms of like Sony making their own series of
• 47:00
  Spider Man movies, Craven was like the last straw.
• 47:04
  We're not doing this anymore. I wonder if that is just
• 47:08
  exhaustion from failure after failure and just not making any
• 47:12
  money, or if there was something particular about Craven that
• 47:14
  just really pissed everybody off.
• 47:17
  Well, I think it it it pissed Sony off that it was a horrible
• 47:21
  mom. This was the worst performing
• 47:24
  Sony slash Marvel movie out of all of them.
• 47:28
  And it was like it was like a big bomb.
• 47:30
  I don't, I don't have the exact numbers, but like the I was
• 47:33
  reading that like the budget got inflated because and part part
• 47:37
  of the reason I think nobody saw this movie or it came and went
• 47:40
  without anyone noticing was because it was originally slated
• 47:43
  for like a January 2023 release and then it got delayed and then
• 47:48
  it got delayed a second time for even longer because of the
• 47:52
  strikes that were happening. So.
• 47:55
  OK. It didn't actually wind up
• 47:57
  releasing until December 2024. So this is like tail end of 2024
• 48:04
  this movie came out. I personally don't remember ever
• 48:07
  seeing any advertising for it when it was actually released.
• 48:11
  That's why I was like, I remember they were going to make
• 48:14
  a Craven movie back in like 2023 or 2022 even when they might
• 48:19
  have released the first trailer, but by the time the movie
• 48:22
  actually came out, it was like, I feel like nobody even knew
• 48:25
  that it existed. It sounds like maybe that's just
• 48:28
  like a Hollywood budgeting thing.
• 48:30
  Like they had long missed the window where they had allocated
• 48:34
  money to promote the film. And by the time they could, you
• 48:37
  know, shoot it into theaters, maybe they literally just dumped
• 48:40
  it. And we're like, whatever.
• 48:41
  I mean, it exists. It has to do something, but
• 48:43
  we're not going to spend any more money on it.
• 48:46
  Yeah, like, I'm almost surprised this one didn't get the like,
• 48:50
  oh, is it like there was like a Batgirl movie or something that
• 48:54
  like Warner Brothers just like, like, made the movie and then
• 48:59
  just, like, wrote the whole thing off and never released it?
• 49:02
  Oh yeah, I think it was Batwoman, which is a version of
• 49:04
  Batman I've never even heard of. But it was completely finished,
• 49:08
  Effects were done, post production was done, and then
• 49:10
  they they shelved it because they could make more money
• 49:13
  writing it off as like a tax thing.
• 49:15
  Yeah, yeah, It's like the movie The producers or the they they
• 49:19
  make. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 49:22
  exactly. Yeah, I'm, I'm honestly
• 49:24
  surprised. Like they they might have been
• 49:27
  better off doing that to Craven, honestly.
• 49:32
  That is such a mean headline. Craven the Hunter would have
• 49:35
  been better as a tax write off. Because it's like, like nobody
• 49:40
  saw it. It made no money and it's really
• 49:43
  bad. It's just everything about it is
• 49:47
  such an anomaly and like like just watching it.
• 49:52
  I'm like, what's going on, Sony? Like, what are you make like
• 49:57
  making bad movies on purpose. I just don't understand how they
• 50:01
  could like, because it was like even like you said, it was like,
• 50:05
  you know, you had Morbius, Madam Webb, this.
• 50:08
  I think some people kind of liked the Venom movies, but I
• 50:12
  think that's almost in spite of themselves because people like
• 50:15
  Tom Hardy, you know, and he's, he's like a fun performer.
• 50:19
  I mean, they made three of them, so clearly Sony got enough of a
• 50:21
  return and Venom's just a bankable enough character that
• 50:26
  it was worth doing again. I I would say the downside for
• 50:28
  the rest is, I mean, even comic book fans have maybe passing
• 50:33
  knowledge of Morbius and Madam Webb, like craving a little bit
• 50:37
  more so. But just none of these were
• 50:39
  marketable ideas to begin with. It was like bad on paper, bad in
• 50:43
  practice. Absolutely, which is shocking
• 50:47
  because it's like if somebody came to you and it was like, OK,
• 50:50
  we got to make these movies about other Spider Man
• 50:53
  characters. We can't use Spider Man.
• 50:56
  Like I feel like you could have done better than what they did
• 50:58
  like. They're like me personally, I
• 51:00
  could have done better. You or really anyone else off
• 51:03
  the street? Probably I'd.
• 51:04
  Be like, OK, step one, buy the rights to Doctor Morden.
• 51:09
  Yes. Like just cause like personally,
• 51:13
  I think of the bunch, I I had never heard of Morbius before.
• 51:18
  I had never heard of Madam Webb. I, I, I knew Craven, Craven was
• 51:23
  at least a character I knew as kind of like a man, like a goofy
• 51:27
  like B tier level spider man villain.
• 51:31
  But I mean, like, on paper, I kind of like the idea of a
• 51:33
  Craving the Hunter movie, you know?
• 51:35
  Like I could see that being fun theoretic.
• 51:38
  'Cause he's, I guess maybe somebody does not 'cause they
• 51:41
  didn't see this awesome movie, they wouldn't know Craven's all
• 51:43
  gimmick, 'cause he's like a big game hunter who's hunting for
• 51:46
  Spider man 'cause he's like the most dangerous prey.
• 51:49
  Like that's his whole thing. He looks like a jungle man.
• 51:52
  Yeah, yeah. And I think like, honestly, his
• 51:54
  most popular iteration of the character before this and, and
• 51:58
  still after this is the is him in the like, the 90s Spider Man
• 52:07
  animated series. I think that's where I'm
• 52:10
  familiar with the character from.
• 52:12
  And like, other people probably would have seen him there too
• 52:14
  because I remember him showing up on that show a lot.
• 52:17
  Yeah, and even there, it's just like, I mean, it's not that,
• 52:20
  it's not like Venom's here or something.
• 52:22
  It's just craving. This is like.
• 52:23
  He's like a Stiller episode guy. Yeah exactly like this is 1
• 52:27
  where the villains, the B plot and the like Spider Man's just
• 52:30
  dealing with his life is the main story.
• 52:33
  Right, Right. Exactly.
• 52:34
  Yeah, yeah. But I mean, all that being said,
• 52:36
  like, I think he's kind of a fun character.
• 52:38
  Like there's there's definitely something you can do with him.
• 52:43
  And yeah, it's you described him correctly too.
• 52:45
  He's he's like a big game hunter.
• 52:49
  I think he's literally based off that like most dangerous game
• 52:53
  book of like, yeah, man hunting man.
• 52:58
  Exactly. You know, And man, does he
• 53:02
  remind you of that a lot in this movie.
• 53:03
  It's like he's cutting like wrestling promos like
• 53:06
  throughout. Most of it, it's just like this
• 53:09
  Sunday Spider Man at the Fall Brawl.
• 53:13
  Yeah, except it's not spider Man.
• 53:14
  It's like other random like Rhino is here who's another like
• 53:20
  backup villain for Spider man. It's like it's not that serious.
• 53:24
  It's it's just. Spider man quick, or I mean,
• 53:29
  whatever pace feels good to you Yeah, take.
• 53:32
  Your time, you know, whatever. But even that is kind of funny
• 53:38
  to me too. Like, 'cause you know, like a
• 53:41
  lot of these superhero movies, they have that problem where
• 53:43
  it's like your main characters fighting just like an inverse
• 53:47
  version of themselves. You know, there's no, there's no
• 53:52
  like anti Craven. It's just it's like Craven
• 53:56
  versus Rhino. And I'm like OK, this is a solid
• 53:59
  mid card match up here. It's a mid card title feud.
• 54:02
  Yeah, they're they're going for the Intercontinental belt.
• 54:06
  Also, I'm just picturing the antique Craven as like the small
• 54:09
  game hunter who's just like I caught a cat.
• 54:13
  I. Was going to say he's like
• 54:16
  catching bugs. He's just like I got an Ant.
• 54:20
  Look at this little guy. Bug Catcher Craven wants to
• 54:23
  battle. He's got his shorts.
• 54:29
  OK, so Craven is, I get he's not the like they don't, you know,
• 54:35
  trying to make him out to be a good guy, right?
• 54:36
  He's just the POV character. Oh, no, no, no, they do.
• 54:39
  They absolutely do. He's a good cravine.
• 54:41
  Yeah, he's a good cravine. He's he's.
• 54:43
  A little crave. Yeah, he's just a little guy.
• 54:46
  No, he's not. He's he's the they they really
• 54:51
  thought they were doing something here.
• 54:52
  They were like, this is like going to be our like superhero
• 54:56
  Craven. Because also I I didn't look up
• 54:59
  the character, I just didn't, didn't care.
• 55:02
  But like from what I remember like.
• 55:07
  I just want to point out we generally can find a way to be
• 55:11
  invested in even the most dumb or boring or incomplete films.
• 55:15
  Like we were all in on the Shadow a couple weeks ago.
• 55:18
  We were all in on Infoman. It's very telling to me that
• 55:22
  both of the films tonight just completely zapped our interest
• 55:25
  in our in the form of art that we spend our whole lives talking
• 55:29
  about. No, no, you know what?
• 55:31
  Hang on, hang on. Let's not get to a nerve.
• 55:33
  So I'm sorry. OK, I'm sorry, maybe I'm
• 55:35
  overshooting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 55:36
  No, you're, you're, you're still kind of ripe.
• 55:38
  Craven is dumb and terrible and bad, but I didn't hate all of it
• 55:43
  because it was some of it was kind of funny to me.
• 55:45
  OK, OK, well, sorry, let's I'll let you keep going.
• 55:48
  I just, I think there's a commonality between the two
• 55:50
  movies here. Oh, they're for sure is like, I
• 55:52
  think like I was saying towards the end of yours, they both feel
• 55:55
  like, I mean, like I was saying it's just I'm just watching this
• 55:58
  movie and I'm like, I'm like, this still took a lot of work.
• 56:01
  There was still a lot of people that put a lot of effort into
• 56:05
  this. And it's so bad.
• 56:08
  Like everything about it is awful to the point where it
• 56:12
  seems like you're doing it on purpose.
• 56:14
  And like I, I'm not 100% convinced that they weren't
• 56:18
  because I don't I don't like even the movies you mentioned
• 56:21
  where it was like, you know, Morbius got memed on really hard
• 56:25
  and then Madam Webb was like kind of diminishing returns on
• 56:28
  that. Like it got kind of memed on and
• 56:31
  then nobody even like thought about Craven.
• 56:33
  He was just completely wasn't even worth the memes.
• 56:36
  You know, it's truly just baffling to me.
• 56:40
  And I would love to like kind of know what the thought process
• 56:44
  was for all of these movies, all these SSU movies, because like
• 56:49
  they all look the same. They just have that like washed
• 56:52
  out, like bluish, grayish Sony look, you know, Oh.
• 56:57
  Yeah, which is admittedly that that goes beyond those borders.
• 57:00
  I mean even the trailer for as of recording the trailer for
• 57:02
  Brand New Day released recently the new Spiderman movie and that
• 57:05
  oddly looks also quite ugly so. But even that has more vibrant
• 57:11
  colors than these movies do. The foreground and the
• 57:15
  characters have color, Yeah, I guess in that case it's just the
• 57:17
  background's always kind of wished like washed out.
• 57:19
  But it does look like from the advertising, Craven is devoid of
• 57:22
  color and personality, just front to back.
• 57:25
  Absolutely. I mean, they'll be like outside
• 57:28
  in the middle of the day and it's just like cloudy all the
• 57:31
  time. And I'm like, it's just like we
• 57:34
  can't have anything nice like it's.
• 57:39
  Just anything nice? Yeah, that's kind of yeah,
• 57:43
  That's the theme today. It's just like, wow, I came here
• 57:46
  to have a nice time and now look what you've done.
• 57:50
  It's just so like I, I just like I'll, I'll, I'll get off this in
• 57:54
  a second, but I'm just so confused as to why it's so
• 57:58
  consistent in terms of this like aesthetic that they have that's
• 58:03
  so unappealing and uninteresting and just like seems
• 58:07
  intentionally off putting. It's just, it's crazy to me.
• 58:11
  But anyway, Craven's a lot of that.
• 58:13
  Craven is a lot of that. I'm jumping around a bit here.
• 58:18
  But like the, the VFX are also awful.
• 58:23
  Like I I after watching the movie I was doing some reading
• 58:27
  on it and I saw somebody, I don't remember who it was but
• 58:29
  some reviewer was comparing the VFX to like the Scorpion King
• 58:35
  like from The Mummy. Returns.
• 58:38
  That's harsh. That's really harsh, but it kind
• 58:43
  of deserved in this case, like, because there's so much of it.
• 58:47
  There's so many. Like, you know, his whole thing
• 58:49
  is like, he's like a kind of Tarzan man.
• 58:52
  So there's a lot of scenes with like, you know, big animals and
• 58:55
  stuff, and they just all look awful.
• 58:58
  Like there's one scene where he's like wrestling like a
• 59:01
  leopard or something. And I'm like, this is
• 59:04
  embarrassing. I feel bad for everyone involved
• 59:06
  that had to like film this and then like this is the final
• 59:10
  result. Especially because he cut a
• 59:12
  promo on the Leopard beforehand. Dude, he did, man.
• 59:18
  He's always just like multiple times throughout the movie, he's
• 59:21
  like, I'm craving. I'm the best hunter in the
• 59:23
  world. You know, I'm going to hunt you
• 59:25
  down. Nobody can beat me.
• 59:26
  I'll see you later, Rhino. I'm coming for you, Rhino.
• 59:29
  Yeah, it's like this Sunday steel page.
• 59:33
  Yeah, I'm craving a victory. I was going to get around to the
• 59:39
  Craven button, you know, Craven, a better movie or something, but
• 59:42
  we'll just, we'll just get that out of the way.
• 59:45
  Yeah. Do you think, OK, if the movie
• 59:47
  had better marketing, do you think White Castle should have
• 59:50
  released a Crave case that was just stickers of Craven the
• 59:53
  Hunter all over it? They could have.
• 59:55
  I was also going to say it definitely would have.
• 59:57
  Of course it would. But I was also going to say
• 59:59
  there's a, what is it McDonald's that has a, a cravings menu?
• 1:00:03
  They're going to have the Cravens menu, the.
• 1:00:05
  Cravens menu and it'd be like leopard leopard you can't sell
• 1:00:08
  that leopard Nuggets it's. Not even the Nuggets.
• 1:00:13
  It's like, you know, it's like they just release a whole
• 1:00:16
  leopard into the restaurant and you have to like hunt it down
• 1:00:18
  and kill it yourself and eat it. It's the real Craven experience.
• 1:00:23
  Exactly. It's got to fit the theme
• 1:00:24
  actually. OK, sorry to back up.
• 1:00:25
  I was going to say I didn't look up the character, but from what
• 1:00:30
  I remember from the cartoon version he does not have
• 1:00:33
  superpowers in that he's just like a normal man who uses like
• 1:00:37
  like animal traps and stuff. I could be wrong.
• 1:00:41
  But I don't. He's not like he's comically
• 1:00:43
  strong and fast, but it's supposed to be because he's just
• 1:00:45
  so good. Yes, but in this he has
• 1:00:49
  superpowers that he gets in a very convoluted way because he
• 1:00:54
  gets attacked by a lion. Should I go through the whole
• 1:00:58
  story? Should I tell you what happens
• 1:01:00
  in? Craven I mean, we did this for
• 1:01:01
  Mordred. OK, off the bat, I'm going to
• 1:01:03
  say right now, this is not one of those things where the movie
• 1:01:06
  is so bad that you should go out and spend your time watching it
• 1:01:09
  because it's funny. Mordred is boring.
• 1:01:11
  Craven, from what I can tell, is boring.
• 1:01:14
  So I say we just go through the plot and you can rest easy
• 1:01:18
  knowing that you didn't miss anything.
• 1:01:20
  Yes, yes. So just go.
• 1:01:25
  Through that's already such an insult to the movie, you know,
• 1:01:29
  just like, should I just tell you do.
• 1:01:32
  You just want to know what happened so you don't have to
• 1:01:35
  watch this. So we can all just write this
• 1:01:37
  off. We can all just make this
• 1:01:38
  attacks right off. You know, I'll just make this
• 1:01:40
  attacks right off and they'd be like, do you see Craven?
• 1:01:41
  And you'd be like, alright, well, nobody asked that anyway,
• 1:01:43
  but. Nobody.
• 1:01:44
  Yeah, nobody's asking about that.
• 1:01:45
  That's a weird thing to say. The IRS might come back and be
• 1:01:48
  like, hey, you can get a deduction if you.
• 1:01:50
  Watched Craven. They'd probably audit you.
• 1:01:52
  They'd be like what is this? This isn't a real movie like.
• 1:01:57
  Is this a laundering scheme anyway?
• 1:02:01
  Sorry, yes, please tell me the entire plot.
• 1:02:05
  Yeah, yeah, no, I'm sorry. One more thing.
• 1:02:07
  This this happens in the middle, but this is again, part of his
• 1:02:09
  promo thing. Like they do the whole thing,
• 1:02:12
  which, gosh, there should be like a term for this somewhere.
• 1:02:16
  But it's like, it's like the thing they do in like the Arrow
• 1:02:18
  TV show where they can't just call him like Green Arrow from
• 1:02:22
  the beginning. You know?
• 1:02:24
  It's like everyone throughout the movie just calls him the
• 1:02:27
  Hunter because I think in the comic books he's Craven the
• 1:02:30
  Hunter, you know? Yeah, that's the full name.
• 1:02:33
  Yeah, so they do the the just classic thing where like, oh,
• 1:02:36
  did you hear about the hunter? The Hunter's in the news, you
• 1:02:38
  know, And then there's literally a scene at one point where
• 1:02:41
  another character is like, you know, he's like, oh, so you're
• 1:02:44
  the hunter. And he's like, I prefer Craven
• 1:02:47
  with AK and I'm like, shut the hell up, you did not just he.
• 1:02:49
  Says with AK. Yes, yes, that is the Oh my God.
• 1:02:55
  That is character assassination. How are you supposed to be cool?
• 1:03:00
  Like he has to, there's a time out corner and Mordred's in it
• 1:03:03
  and Kraven's on his way over because that's awful.
• 1:03:08
  It is. It really is.
• 1:03:09
  But it's kind of funny. I'm like, this is so dumb.
• 1:03:12
  I kind of like it. That would have been the meme
• 1:03:14
  actually, if people had seen the movie, I guarantee you it would
• 1:03:16
  have been like with AK, like it would have been the whole, you
• 1:03:19
  know. Oh yeah, totally, totally.
• 1:03:21
  Because it it's ridiculous. It's a silly thing to ever say
• 1:03:24
  out loud. And the bar for that has really
• 1:03:29
  moved a lot in recent years for what you can just confidently
• 1:03:32
  say out loud and not be seen as a big idiot with AK.
• 1:03:39
  Yeah, yes, yeah. So I can trademark it later.
• 1:03:45
  Yeah, exactly for the charge. Royalties for other people to
• 1:03:48
  say it with AK. That's his whole, that's his
• 1:03:53
  whole game plan, that's his, that's his superhero plan is to
• 1:03:55
  sue people. So anyway, anyway to get into
• 1:04:03
  what I was trying to say, the man has super powers, right?
• 1:04:06
  That he gets because the beginning of the movie there's a
• 1:04:13
  whole opening sequence where he like, kills a guy in a prison.
• 1:04:16
  And that's just to be like, look at this guy, you know, he can do
• 1:04:20
  all these things. Look at him.
• 1:04:23
  Look at him. Whatever.
• 1:04:25
  So there's that's like the opening sequence of the movie.
• 1:04:28
  And then we get to a flashback that goes on for like way too
• 1:04:31
  long where it's like young Craven and his brother and their
• 1:04:34
  dad, who's played by Russell Crowe, and he's just God awful
• 1:04:39
  in this movie, Okay. He just just so you know, he's
• 1:04:42
  just terrible. So.
• 1:04:44
  Just your average like 20 tens and onward Russell Crowe
• 1:04:46
  performance then. Yeah, literally not even trying
• 1:04:49
  at all. He's doing a Russian accent,
• 1:04:51
  which is. He's doing it.
• 1:04:52
  It is there. It's there.
• 1:04:55
  They didn't ask him to, he just showed up to set doing a Russian
• 1:04:57
  accent. Yeah, they're like, oh, shoot, I
• 1:04:59
  guess we got to, I guess they're Russian now.
• 1:05:00
  All the characters, we've got to change all their names to
• 1:05:02
  Russian names. OK, so he goes to see Russian
• 1:05:06
  Russell Crowe. Well, so, so Russell Crowe, he
• 1:05:09
  picks he picks little baby Raven and his brother up from school
• 1:05:13
  and like a limo, you know, he's like rich evil dad and he's
• 1:05:17
  like, what's reminding me this is, isn't it like an SNL bit?
• 1:05:23
  I think where you would you would used to say it sometimes
• 1:05:25
  we'd be just be like your dad's dead.
• 1:05:28
  It's like, do you remember that? Wait, what?
• 1:05:32
  Your dad. Or is this your dad's dead?
• 1:05:35
  That's not the bid from Steel, right?
• 1:05:36
  Where he's like her father's dead.
• 1:05:38
  No, no, this is older than that. I don't know.
• 1:05:40
  This is this just was reminding me of because the the dialogue
• 1:05:42
  is just that blunt. Like he just picks them up in
• 1:05:44
  this limo and he's basically just like your mom's dead.
• 1:05:47
  And they're like, oh, OK. And he's like, we're going to go
• 1:05:50
  hunting now to like, get over it, I guess.
• 1:05:53
  And they're like that. OK, that doesn't sound fun, but
• 1:05:55
  whatever. That does sound vaguely
• 1:05:59
  familiar, like Craven Laura, because he's also in the sequel
• 1:06:05
  to the PlayStation Spider Man game, like the newer ones.
• 1:06:10
  So you, you fight Craven. And I do recall there's
• 1:06:12
  something about that, like it's a family dynamics thing with
• 1:06:17
  him. Yeah, that's the thing.
• 1:06:19
  Everyone's always trying to make Craven happen.
• 1:06:21
  Like what? Like what I was reading in the,
• 1:06:24
  you know, production for this movie is that like, he was
• 1:06:27
  supposed there was like plans at several points for him to appear
• 1:06:31
  in previous Spider Man projects that just never came to
• 1:06:33
  fruition. And at one point, like, he was
• 1:06:36
  going to be in Black Panther, like the Marvel Black Panther
• 1:06:39
  was going to have like, Craven in it.
• 1:06:42
  And it just always fell through until they made this movie.
• 1:06:47
  I wouldn't have hated him in black.
• 1:06:49
  I wonder if it would have been though.
• 1:06:50
  Like would he have been like what Andy Serkis's character
• 1:06:53
  ended up being? I don't know.
• 1:06:56
  I don't know. I think he, I think it was like
• 1:07:00
  he was going to maybe fight Black Panther or something.
• 1:07:03
  Was was part of the plan? Maybe that would have been like
• 1:07:05
  Black Panther too because they ended up putting like Neymour in
• 1:07:08
  there. I think he could have done it
• 1:07:09
  crazy anyway. Yeah, so anyway, this the story
• 1:07:14
  though like we're. Getting kind of far away.
• 1:07:19
  Back in what they're doing in this movie, like Russell Crowe,
• 1:07:23
  it takes them out to go like him and his brother to go hunting
• 1:07:26
  and he says they're hunting a lion that has killed 3000
• 1:07:32
  people. Like what?
• 1:07:36
  One lion killed 3000. That doesn't make any sense.
• 1:07:40
  That's crazy. But that's what they're there
• 1:07:42
  for. And so anyway, what happens is
• 1:07:44
  this lion like at some point he attacks Craven and like he like
• 1:07:51
  attacks him and like carries him away.
• 1:07:54
  But like the lion is like bleeding cause like one of the
• 1:07:57
  hunters like shot it. And so like his, the lion's
• 1:08:00
  blood make like drips into one of the open wounds that Raven
• 1:08:05
  Craven with K has and mixes with his blood.
• 1:08:10
  And I'm like, OK, he gets his superpowers from this super lion
• 1:08:15
  or something. But then there's like another
• 1:08:17
  character who, like, we've barely seen at this point in the
• 1:08:21
  movie, who she shows up because, like, her grandmother was like a
• 1:08:26
  Mystic of some kind and gave her this, like potion.
• 1:08:29
  And she like, finds Craven after the lion, like, leaves him there
• 1:08:34
  and she like, gives him this Mystic potion.
• 1:08:38
  And like, somehow the combination of this potion and
• 1:08:42
  the lion's blood is what gives him his, like, animal
• 1:08:44
  superpowers. So it's very convoluted.
• 1:08:48
  That is convolute. If it was already a like a magic
• 1:08:51
  lion, you could have just had to be magic Lion's blood.
• 1:08:56
  Right. But and then it's also like then
• 1:08:58
  he has these like other powers that have nothing to do with a
• 1:09:01
  lion. Like sometimes he runs around on
• 1:09:04
  all fours and he has like super strength and durability and like
• 1:09:07
  speed and stuff like that. But he also has like eagle
• 1:09:10
  vision, like he can like see really far away.
• 1:09:12
  Oh. Like Assassin's Creed?
• 1:09:15
  I guess. But I'm like, what does that
• 1:09:16
  have to do with a lion? Like, it's like you just have
• 1:09:20
  random animal powers now and he can like talk to animals and
• 1:09:24
  like, it's, it's just like, why, why, Why'd you do the whole
• 1:09:28
  lion's blood thing? Like why Lion?
• 1:09:30
  And and the magic potion like just do one or the other.
• 1:09:35
  You know what we were talking about?
• 1:09:37
  Referencing things no one remembers?
• 1:09:38
  He is. He's basically copying
• 1:09:41
  Bravestar. Dude, OK, I'm glad you mentioned
• 1:09:44
  that because there is at one point Rhino when he's because
• 1:09:50
  again, they're all just cutting like wrestling promos on each
• 1:09:52
  other the whole time. Like when Rhino is talking about
• 1:09:55
  him, he literally like goes into like that same way of speaking
• 1:10:00
  where he's like he's got the speed of a lion and the strength
• 1:10:04
  of a Puma or whatever. I'm just like, Oh my God.
• 1:10:08
  He describes him the same way. Bravestar was like in the same
• 1:10:11
  animation style and I think it was out around the same time as
• 1:10:15
  the original. Like he man and she rock
• 1:10:16
  cartoons like those like 80s Funimation cartoons.
• 1:10:20
  And we would sometimes stay up because they aired in this like
• 1:10:22
  late night block when we were growing up years later.
• 1:10:25
  But then they would always be ads for the other shows.
• 1:10:27
  And there was just this 122nd Bravestar ad that was just
• 1:10:31
  burned into my brain that was exactly that.
• 1:10:33
  It was like strength of a lion, speed of a Puma.
• 1:10:35
  Like, I guess that's Craven. That's great.
• 1:10:38
  And that's exactly how like he even says it like that, like the
• 1:10:41
  same way that they would say it like on that commercial.
• 1:10:44
  And I'm like, OK, he's just doing that.
• 1:10:47
  I guess like, but that's what's, I guess kind of fun, if anything
• 1:10:52
  in this movie is fun. It's kind of like the action
• 1:10:56
  sequences because he's on, he's got like those superpowers that
• 1:10:59
  I would say like are sort of on the level of like a Captain
• 1:11:01
  America. Like, you know, where he's, he's
• 1:11:05
  running around and like punching and kicking people, but he's got
• 1:11:08
  like just super strength. But he's not like the Hulk where
• 1:11:12
  he's like ripping buildings out of the ground or something.
• 1:11:15
  They do at one point, like completely RIP off that scene
• 1:11:18
  though, where Captain America is like holding on to the
• 1:11:20
  helicopter, like Craven's trying to stop a helicopter from like
• 1:11:25
  flying away from this like port. And I'm like this, this is just,
• 1:11:30
  you're just doing the same thing.
• 1:11:31
  You just you can't just like copy the homework directly
• 1:11:34
  Craven like you have to just. Change a few things.
• 1:11:36
  Yeah, especially because, like, don't try to put him on the
• 1:11:40
  level of Catherine. Like this is literally
• 1:11:42
  contrasting one of the most successful live action Marvel
• 1:11:46
  character ventures with what is, by the numbers, the worst one
• 1:11:49
  ever. You know, it's one of the worst
• 1:11:52
  ones. And it's also just for the time
• 1:11:55
  it came out. I mean, again, this came out
• 1:11:57
  December like the very end of 2024.
• 1:12:01
  And it's just everything about it is just the most like generic
• 1:12:06
  superhero stuff you've ever seen, you know, to the point
• 1:12:09
  where I'm like, nobody wants this now.
• 1:12:11
  Like if you do superhero stuff now, it has to be subversive in
• 1:12:15
  some way or like something new and interesting in the genre
• 1:12:20
  because you know, people have been talking about it.
• 1:12:23
  People have been talking about how tired they are of it for
• 1:12:26
  forever. That which just goes to show you
• 1:12:27
  how long it's been around and been this kind of prominent like
• 1:12:31
  genre and this just like it literally does the thing which I
• 1:12:36
  I didn't even like consider this because it like the whole time
• 1:12:43
  he's wearing like modern chic Craven, you know, like his like
• 1:12:49
  costume throughout the movie, he has sort of like a costume.
• 1:12:52
  He's a handsome Craven, OK, He's, you know, Yes.
• 1:12:54
  It's trendy. Yeah.
• 1:12:56
  But he's got like this like vest thing on.
• 1:12:58
  He almost looks like the Prince of Persia a little bit.
• 1:13:01
  Yep. And so I'm like, whatever, this
• 1:13:03
  is just the character design they went with for this, you
• 1:13:05
  know, Craven, but they literally do the final scene of the movie,
• 1:13:09
  the final shot of the movie is him putting on like the vintage
• 1:13:14
  like Craven vest that has like the lion's mane on it.
• 1:13:19
  And I was like, you got it. I despise that that might have
• 1:13:22
  even come up this season already.
• 1:13:23
  That's my least favorite comic book movie trope of all time is
• 1:13:28
  the convoluted how do we get you into the corny original costume
• 1:13:33
  so that we can say it's dumb or say nowadays it's not dumb, it's
• 1:13:36
  actually super cool? What?
• 1:13:38
  Yeah, there's that. But then there's also the I
• 1:13:40
  think there was like, I don't know how many people would be
• 1:13:43
  familiar with this, but I think the shorthand for this type of
• 1:13:46
  thing I've seen being referenced as like a surf monkey.
• 1:13:51
  I think. I don't know if you've heard
• 1:13:53
  this before. No.
• 1:13:55
  It was like a famous like tweet or something, like something
• 1:13:58
  that went viral where somebody was basically describing this
• 1:14:01
  sort of like modern thing that they do with these types of
• 1:14:04
  movies where they were like if a movie came out in the 90s called
• 1:14:07
  Surf Monkey, the whole movie from beginning to end, you would
• 1:14:10
  see a monkey surfing. But if it came out now, it would
• 1:14:14
  be like the whole movie would be like leading up to him getting
• 1:14:18
  his surfboard and like he would only like surf in like the final
• 1:14:22
  scene of the movie, you know, like.
• 1:14:24
  That is pretty apartment, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:14:28
  It's like, I think it made more sense.
• 1:14:31
  It it works if the audience is already hooked when they get in
• 1:14:35
  the door and you're teasing something so that you can hold
• 1:14:38
  their interest until a certain point and then kind of release
• 1:14:41
  all that built up anticipation. But if you're all the way down
• 1:14:44
  in the in the dumpster digging out Craven the hunter, like
• 1:14:47
  nobody cares enough. There's no super fans for Craven
• 1:14:51
  where you can like release a teaser of the hooded jacket and
• 1:14:56
  be like, Oh my goodness, I can't wait for that part.
• 1:14:58
  Like you have to lead with the interesting part if this
• 1:15:02
  audience is not already sold on the character.
• 1:15:05
  Absolutely, and this might be the most absurd iteration of it
• 1:15:08
  I've ever seen. Because a like the poster and
• 1:15:12
  the advertising, what little of it there is, shows him wearing
• 1:15:16
  the lion's mane like classic Craven look So and like, so it's
• 1:15:22
  in the advertising, even though it's literally just the last
• 1:15:24
  scene of the movie and it's so barely different from what he's
• 1:15:27
  already wearing throughout the rest of the movie that I'm like,
• 1:15:29
  well, who cares? This, this doesn't look any more
• 1:15:32
  or less absurd or unique than what you were already wearing.
• 1:15:36
  So like, what are we even doing? Like in the context of the
• 1:15:41
  story, did they act like this matters to Craven or is it
• 1:15:43
  literally just oh here's my other outfit?
• 1:15:46
  They do. So the lion that, like, attacked
• 1:15:50
  him, that he kind of got his superpowers from his dad, Like,
• 1:15:55
  afterwards, like, went and, like, killed the lion, like, had
• 1:15:59
  it haunted and killed and then, like, gave it to Craven is like
• 1:16:04
  a gift. And Craven got all mad.
• 1:16:05
  And he was like, they should have killed you and put you up
• 1:16:09
  on the wall. And so then like, yeah, yeah,
• 1:16:14
  that's the dialogue we're dealing with here.
• 1:16:16
  And so the end of the movie, I guess, is like, I don't even
• 1:16:20
  know what you're supposed to feel because like, let's just
• 1:16:23
  skip all the way to the end. Yeah, we tried.
• 1:16:26
  We listen. We tried going through the
• 1:16:27
  story. Not worthwhile.
• 1:16:28
  Let's just go all the way to the.
• 1:16:30
  End. Let's just go right to the end.
• 1:16:31
  The end of the movie is is again so dumb.
• 1:16:35
  But like Craven finds out that like his dad actually like
• 1:16:40
  betrayed him and like set him up so that the Rhino would go after
• 1:16:44
  him because the rhino was one of his dad's like rivals in the
• 1:16:49
  criminal underground. And so like Craven like
• 1:16:52
  confronts his dad about this and it seems like it seems like he's
• 1:16:58
  going to like kind of make peace with him and just be like move
• 1:17:01
  on with his life. But then as he's like walking
• 1:17:04
  away, because Craven, they're doing their you know, he's like
• 1:17:07
  he's the superhero, but he's based on a villain character.
• 1:17:09
  So they're trying to make him like this like cool antihero
• 1:17:11
  guy. But Craven just like walks away
• 1:17:14
  and and says some like one liner and then like a bear just runs
• 1:17:17
  out of the jungle and like kills his dad and it's like.
• 1:17:21
  What? Not even, huh?
• 1:17:24
  Yeah, not even a lion. So I'm like, what?
• 1:17:25
  That's just a random bear. That you called Lion, that's a
• 1:17:28
  good point. Yeah.
• 1:17:29
  But then the scene immediately after that, he like, goes back
• 1:17:33
  to his old house that he was at with his dad.
• 1:17:36
  And his dad had like, left him something and he left him this
• 1:17:39
  like emotional note and like was like, this is who you are.
• 1:17:44
  And then like what he pulls out of this case is like the the
• 1:17:48
  lion that had attacked him. His dad had had it turned into
• 1:17:51
  that vest. And then he like puts that on
• 1:17:54
  and I'm like, you just had your dad killed by a random bear and
• 1:17:58
  now you're like, I don't get what this is supposed to imply
• 1:18:01
  at all that now you're that he gave you this gift.
• 1:18:04
  Unless it's some stupid like, alpha thing of like, you know,
• 1:18:10
  his dad's proud that he killed him because it means he's a man.
• 1:18:14
  Maybe that was the kind of rhetoric that his dad was
• 1:18:17
  spouting throughout the movie was like, you know, you got to
• 1:18:19
  be a man or whatever. Like, nothing thematic about
• 1:18:24
  that. Literally just a random bear.
• 1:18:26
  He's just like that. Random bear.
• 1:18:27
  So strange, yeah. Maybe he didn't even send the
• 1:18:30
  bear and just really successfully played it off.
• 1:18:32
  Like he was like, yeah, Bear right where I was going next.
• 1:18:37
  Yeah, yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe just like starts like running
• 1:18:41
  away slowly. Just like just runs away crying.
• 1:18:45
  I still dare for the cage. Just like so silly.
• 1:18:52
  But yeah, like this, this was the worst version of that like
• 1:18:57
  surf monkey type thing I've ever seen.
• 1:18:58
  Because I'm like this. This means nothing.
• 1:19:02
  You're not going to get a sequel.
• 1:19:03
  They look so similar to what you're already wearing that I
• 1:19:06
  can't stress that enough. Like, you could have just been
• 1:19:08
  wearing this from the beginning, and it wouldn't have looked any
• 1:19:10
  more or less out of place. And that's how the movie ends.
• 1:19:14
  I mean, that's like the last shot of the movie is him putting
• 1:19:17
  that on. And I was just like, OK, if you
• 1:19:21
  say so. OK, so that Jesus.
• 1:19:23
  So that's the climactic thing for the character of Craven.
• 1:19:27
  As far as like action set piece, I assume we focus on him beating
• 1:19:31
  Rhino. Is that like the end of the
• 1:19:33
  third act? Yes, yes.
• 1:19:35
  And he beats Rhino by they're in like an open field.
• 1:19:42
  I think I want to say maybe somewhere in Africa.
• 1:19:46
  I they don't think they specify exactly where they are, but
• 1:19:50
  they're in an open field. He's getting beat up by Rhino
• 1:19:54
  and like there's like a car that got flipped over and it has like
• 1:19:57
  some kind of like wire thing on the back, like some kind of like
• 1:20:00
  tow cable or something. And again, Raven like Craven, I
• 1:20:05
  keep calling him Raven Craven with AK that's.
• 1:20:08
  So Craven. That's so Craven, like summons
• 1:20:12
  like a horde of Buffalo and like like wraps one end of the wire
• 1:20:18
  around Rhino and then like lassos of one of the Buffalo in
• 1:20:22
  the horde. And then they like pull Rhino
• 1:20:24
  away and like trample him and that somehow beats him, even
• 1:20:27
  though like Rhino's whole thing throughout the movie is that he
• 1:20:29
  has this like unbreakable skin. So I was like, why did that
• 1:20:32
  work? But.
• 1:20:33
  Why did that? Whatever, I guess.
• 1:20:36
  I feel like the angle for that would be you'd have to like
• 1:20:37
  suffocate him or something. Maybe that was too violent.
• 1:20:41
  No, yeah, there is. There is a bit where it's like
• 1:20:45
  the rhino. He he has like a human form, but
• 1:20:48
  to like stay in his human form, he has to kind of like
• 1:20:51
  constantly be injecting himself with this like serum.
• 1:20:55
  So he has like a little like metal like cylinder hole in his
• 1:21:01
  abdomen that he like plugs the the serum thing into.
• 1:21:06
  And like while Craven is fighting him, he like can't do
• 1:21:08
  any damage to him because he has this unbreakable skin.
• 1:21:11
  But like then he notices that he has that little thing and he
• 1:21:15
  like stabs him in there directly and that like hurts rhino.
• 1:21:20
  But then it's it's the the Buffalo Stampede that really
• 1:21:22
  takes him out. So.
• 1:21:24
  Much. OK, so you're saying there's a
• 1:21:26
  you're saying that there's a small exhaust port only a few
• 1:21:29
  meters wide, and that's how we have to beat the rhino?
• 1:21:33
  Exactly, but it'd be like if they like did that to the Death
• 1:21:35
  Star and then and then had a trample.
• 1:21:38
  Run over by a bunch of Buffalo, Yeah, that's what really saved
• 1:21:43
  the day. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:21:46
  I will say I was not picturing Rhino as like organic Rhino
• 1:21:50
  because I I think my visual reference is still when he pops
• 1:21:54
  in at the end of Amazing Spider Man. 2.
• 1:21:58
  As like a guy in a robot suit and I was picturing a robot.
• 1:22:00
  I was picturing Paul Giamatti in a robot suit this whole time.
• 1:22:03
  So it kind of now I'm like, OK, this is an organic rhino thing.
• 1:22:08
  Cool, right. And those are Sony Spider Man
• 1:22:12
  movies that are like inexplicably unrelated to any of
• 1:22:16
  these other Sony, what is it, Sony Spider Man universe?
• 1:22:21
  That would have been the best pivot for them because Tom
• 1:22:24
  Holland Spider Man has basically not been in any of these Sony
• 1:22:29
  Spider Man movies. So if you made this like 6th
• 1:22:31
  1:00 and then used this to reintroduce Andrew Garfield,
• 1:22:34
  Spider Man, that would have saved everything.
• 1:22:36
  People liked him when he came back to do No Way Home.
• 1:22:41
  So you could have just been like, whatever this is, this is
• 1:22:44
  his one. And then we'll just plug him
• 1:22:45
  back in here and nobody cares. Nobody sees these anyway.
• 1:22:48
  Well, so again, apparently it what from what I was reading
• 1:22:51
  before they went with the whole multiverse angle for that movie.
• 1:22:55
  Craven was going to be the bad guy in that movie in the No Way
• 1:22:57
  Home. So it's.
• 1:22:59
  Just like interesting. I think by the time, by the time
• 1:23:03
  you reach Craven, you're out of juice.
• 1:23:05
  That's just like any, any version of this.
• 1:23:09
  If you have hit the point in your rogues gallery where you're
• 1:23:13
  like, I don't know, Craven, like just turn off the whole
• 1:23:16
  operation. And I think Sony actually did.
• 1:23:18
  So credit to them for that. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:23:21
  Well I think multiple of these movies have also tried to
• 1:23:24
  introduce the Sinister 6, which I believe he's a part of.
• 1:23:28
  I mean, I think the the roster of the sinister 6 changes all
• 1:23:31
  the time, so I assumed whatever 6 people they had would have
• 1:23:34
  been, yeah, their sinister team. Yeah, but no, you're right.
• 1:23:38
  I mean, this ended it. This was the end of the SSU for
• 1:23:42
  whatever it was, whatever it accomplished other than it's
• 1:23:45
  embarrassing itself like. I, I I'm sure they would have
• 1:23:50
  done it. I'm sure if they made just
• 1:23:51
  enough money, they would have had Craven, Morbius, Michael
• 1:23:56
  Keaton, Falcon, who somehow crossed universes in the middle
• 1:23:59
  of it. Or not Falcon, Vulture.
• 1:24:02
  Sorry. And then what would it be Orbius
• 1:24:06
  Craven? Oh, venom.
• 1:24:08
  Venom, of course, probably would have been like the lead.
• 1:24:11
  Madam Webb, what do we got? Madam Webb maybe.
• 1:24:15
  I think Dakota Johnson really did not want to be in that movie
• 1:24:17
  and it showed. So I don't know if they would
• 1:24:18
  have asked her to do it again. But then we could have had an
• 1:24:22
  even higher budget, like $300 million Sony flop.
• 1:24:27
  I guess that's up to us. I think we're going to have to.
• 1:24:29
  We're going to have to map this out.
• 1:24:32
  We're going to have to put Craven in.
• 1:24:33
  I think we can sneak Mordred in because who's paying attention?
• 1:24:37
  Right. Yeah, Yeah.
• 1:24:39
  Well, I mean, it's also like, just again, another thing that
• 1:24:42
  people have been like vocally, like critical of is when they
• 1:24:47
  are like making these movies where they take a character
• 1:24:50
  who's a villain and then just be like, never mind they're the
• 1:24:53
  hero now. Like just because they're our
• 1:24:55
  POV character, like now they're automatically a good guy.
• 1:24:58
  I think people were saying they did that with like the Cruella
• 1:25:00
  Deville movie, like with Emma Stone.
• 1:25:03
  Oh yeah, she was oppressed or something.
• 1:25:05
  Right, right. And like this movie like their
• 1:25:08
  way of doing it is like it's R rated and they just like have
• 1:25:11
  the most embarrassing like like they swear like teenagers trying
• 1:25:15
  to act cool, you know, like that's how the dialogue comes
• 1:25:17
  off. Yep, like so it's just like it's
• 1:25:22
  like it hits every possible misstep.
• 1:25:26
  This like super late in the game superhero movie that just does
• 1:25:30
  the traditional like origin story formula, does the whole
• 1:25:34
  costume thing at the end, the surf monkey of it all like takes
• 1:25:38
  the villain character and makes him a good guy.
• 1:25:40
  Like it's just like you couldn't have like, tripped over more
• 1:25:45
  things along the way while making this movie.
• 1:25:48
  Not to mention the lack of leopard Nuggets as we discussed.
• 1:25:52
  Leopard Nuggets, Yeah. No, you got to make the Nuggets
• 1:25:54
  yourself. That's part of the appeal.
• 1:25:55
  Of the Nuggets. The Craven's menu.
• 1:25:59
  Menu available nowhere for a limited.
• 1:26:08
  All right, well, that that does it for Craven the Hunter 2024
• 1:26:13
  and Doctor Mordred 1992. We move now into final scores
• 1:26:18
  and wrap up. We're going to see who's blind
• 1:26:20
  movie pick for this episode was better and that's who is the
• 1:26:23
  winner for tonight. Frank, I'll go first because I
• 1:26:25
  started with Doctor Mordred. I set off the bat in that review
• 1:26:30
  barely a movie and I I hold to that and I think that's
• 1:26:34
  uncontestable that this is uncontestable.
• 1:26:38
  Barely a film. You cannot it barely would have
• 1:26:41
  worked as ATV pilot like nothing happens.
• 1:26:45
  They're so I'll confident in their material that they just
• 1:26:47
  stretch everything. The only things I'll say that
• 1:26:51
  maybe we're not properly conveyed is that the
• 1:26:53
  performances are perfectly serviceable.
• 1:26:55
  Geoffrey Combs and Brian Thompson, we both said, are like
• 1:26:57
  Star Trek alum, you know, actors and they know how to just
• 1:27:02
  deliver nonsense material in a kind of straightforward, like
• 1:27:05
  self serious manner. So nobody's out here bombing,
• 1:27:08
  making things worse. Also, compared to Craven, I
• 1:27:11
  think you would prefer watching Doctor Mordred because it was
• 1:27:15
  shot in the 90s and so they actually had to like light
• 1:27:17
  scenes, you know what I mean? Like it has shadows and a color
• 1:27:22
  palette and like set design and those things had to be decided
• 1:27:26
  before they made the movie instead of after.
• 1:27:29
  So Mordred has a a nice kind of lived in quality to it, whereas
• 1:27:33
  Craven sounds very featureless and kind of like artificial.
• 1:27:39
  So all of that said, I think Doctor Mordred gets a three out
• 1:27:42
  of 10. OK, good.
• 1:27:45
  The dreaded 3. The dreaded Grifters 3.
• 1:27:48
  The Grifters 3 I almost went lower because we've talked
• 1:27:51
  before about like, what would it take?
• 1:27:53
  And one of the things we mentioned is like something
• 1:27:54
  that's not even really a movie. And Margaret, it crept real
• 1:27:57
  close. But I will say that it was
• 1:28:00
  harmless. And so it it can stay at a
• 1:28:02
  three. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:28:04
  That's fair. That's totally fair.
• 1:28:07
  All right, over to you. Oh.
• 1:28:09
  Gosh, this is this is a tough decision.
• 1:28:16
  I feel like I I got very little out of.
• 1:28:18
  I got very, very little to take away from it.
• 1:28:21
  But I wasn't like, I wasn't like upset watching it.
• 1:28:26
  It was like, you know, when you like, like eat junk food, right?
• 1:28:30
  And then you're like like halfway through and you're like,
• 1:28:35
  I really shouldn't be eating this, but I'm, I'm just like,
• 1:28:37
  I'm gonna finish, you know? Like I already made the bad
• 1:28:41
  decision, I'll just follow through.
• 1:28:43
  Yeah, yeah, that's, that's what and it's like.
• 1:28:46
  And it doesn't even really taste that because sometimes this
• 1:28:48
  tastes really good, this junk food, But right, It's not even a
• 1:28:50
  good one today, you know, like, what are we even doing here?
• 1:28:53
  That's the worst. That's yeah, when you get your
• 1:28:55
  like fast food take out and then you're mostly just want
• 1:28:58
  something predictable and then they mess it up somehow and
• 1:29:00
  you're like, ah, they put Mayo on this and leopard.
• 1:29:04
  And Leopard. Yeah, I didn't ask for Leopard
• 1:29:06
  on this cravings menu. Specifically said no Leopard.
• 1:29:12
  It's just again, it's a whole leopard just sitting on top of
• 1:29:14
  your padding. No, I'm following.
• 1:29:18
  I'm tracking. That is how Craven came across
• 1:29:20
  was a a little treat that ended up not even being a good.
• 1:29:25
  Yeah, yeah. But again, I didn't like
• 1:29:29
  outright hate it. There's there's there's there
• 1:29:31
  have been movies that we've watched for the show where I'm
• 1:29:33
  like, oof, this is like upsetting, man.
• 1:29:38
  So I don't know, like I'm, I'm floating between 2 numbers and I
• 1:29:44
  think I'm going to give Craven a four.
• 1:29:45
  I, I almost, yeah, I almost gave it a three, which we would have
• 1:29:50
  tied, which I don't know if that's ever happened before.
• 1:29:52
  We do not have a, we don't have a play for a tie.
• 1:29:55
  I don't know how we would handle.
• 1:29:56
  Protocol for that, yeah. But yeah, I think, I think it's
• 1:30:01
  a four just because like, you know, whatever.
• 1:30:05
  I'm I'm impressed. I think we've been harsher than
• 1:30:08
  that to other films. Like I gave double impact of
• 1:30:12
  four a long ways back, which is like a Jean-Claude Van Damme
• 1:30:14
  movie, and that one had a little bit going for it.
• 1:30:17
  It certainly sounds better than Craven, but I will say it, it
• 1:30:20
  takes a lot to go all the way down to a three.
• 1:30:23
  It does. And I feel like, yeah, there's,
• 1:30:25
  we're going to be a little inconsistent in this scoring
• 1:30:27
  sometimes maybe a little change over time.
• 1:30:29
  But like you said, I I just would be very hard pressed to
• 1:30:33
  give anything like lower than a three first of all.
• 1:30:37
  We've done it once. We we did it for sphere.
• 1:30:41
  Yeah, yeah, Sphere earned that. But yeah, I mean, we'll see.
• 1:30:46
  We'll we'll get into that ones and zeros like at some point I
• 1:30:50
  imagine. Probably going to happen.
• 1:30:52
  OK Raven the Hunter gets a four. That is an over performance.
• 1:30:56
  Good on him. Yeah, it's just junk food.
• 1:31:01
  Not good junk food. Just just, you know, a bad
• 1:31:04
  leopard burger. I guess it's a lion in the
• 1:31:08
  story. They keep stressing them.
• 1:31:09
  It's a lion. But we both went completely in a
• 1:31:12
  leopard. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:31:18
  Yeah. OK.
• 1:31:20
  Craven's A4. Mordre's a three.
• 1:31:23
  That means that, Frank, once again, I have won the episode.
• 1:31:26
  You did win last time, but I have one more episode so far
• 1:31:29
  this season, widening the overall score totals a little
• 1:31:33
  bit. We do try to keep track of all
• 1:31:34
  of those scores out of 10 and kind of make it part of our
• 1:31:37
  season standings. So you've got a long way to go
• 1:31:39
  still. But we do have, I think, two
• 1:31:42
  more superhero episodes in us before we wrap this idea up, so
• 1:31:46
  we'll see. Anything could happen.
• 1:31:48
  Anything could happen. I could win them all.
• 1:31:51
  That could happen. I could win them all, that would
• 1:31:52
  help. Probably right?
• 1:31:56
  OK, so because I won tonight's episode by a thin margin, I'll
• 1:32:00
  go first for our pick for next time.
• 1:32:02
  So Frank, I already had this one locked and loaded.
• 1:32:06
  I would like you to watch 1982's Swamp Thing.
• 1:32:11
  Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing.
• 1:32:14
  Sounds like you're saying Swamp Thing like that thing from Mario
• 1:32:18
  close. Swamp Thing, which is I think I
• 1:32:23
  I did not double check this before we recorded.
• 1:32:26
  I think it's technically ADC property.
• 1:32:29
  Yeah, that's that sounds kind of familiar actually.
• 1:32:31
  You might be right about that. However, what's notable about
• 1:32:34
  1982 Swamp Thing A It's billed as a straight up horror film,
• 1:32:37
  which we don't really often cover.
• 1:32:40
  I imagine it will not be like actually that upsetting, which
• 1:32:42
  is good, just just kind of like an action horror.
• 1:32:46
  And it was directed by Wes Craven.
• 1:32:50
  Oh, all right. Who would go on to do the God, I
• 1:32:55
  hope I'm saying the right one the The Nightmare on Elm Street
• 1:32:59
  movies? He's done a lot.
• 1:33:01
  He's he's been involved with several like horror franchises.
• 1:33:05
  But yeah, I believe Nightmare on Elm.
• 1:33:07
  Street he did Freddy Krueger's and he did scream the original
• 1:33:11
  1, but this I think predates all of those.
• 1:33:13
  This is like earlier in his career.
• 1:33:15
  Wes Craven. Cool.
• 1:33:17
  Yeah, that's awesome. Swamp Thing.
• 1:33:19
  Now is is is Swamp Thing? Is he the superhero in this
• 1:33:22
  story? I think so.
• 1:33:23
  There was a sequel made in 1989 and the poster art for that one
• 1:33:28
  says like refers to him as a superhero.
• 1:33:31
  All right. Counts.
• 1:33:33
  I could have given you that one that's arguably a more forgotten
• 1:33:36
  film, but why? Why start with the sequel?
• 1:33:37
  We'll just do 1982 Swamp Thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:33:41
  That's fair. OK, over to you.
• 1:33:43
  What? What would you like me to watch
• 1:33:44
  for next time? You are going to watch 2000
• 1:33:49
  eighteens, Fast color. Fast color.
• 1:33:55
  I got to write this down or I will forget.
• 1:33:57
  Yeah, Fast color, which I think is like a movie.
• 1:34:02
  It's like a real movie. Hold on, you tell me it's one of
• 1:34:07
  those beginning, middles and ends type movies.
• 1:34:09
  I think it might be. I think it might be.
• 1:34:13
  It's his character. Funny.
• 1:34:15
  Yeah. It seems like you're trying to,
• 1:34:16
  like, sell me, like, drugs under a bridge, but you're just like,
• 1:34:19
  what's the real stuff? I got the real stuff this time.
• 1:34:21
  Pretty good, pretty good. I've steered you wrong every
• 1:34:24
  single other time, but not this time.
• 1:34:27
  Not last week. I won last week, so that's true.
• 1:34:30
  OK, fast cut. Anything you want to tell me in
• 1:34:32
  advance about fast color? No.
• 1:34:40
  OK, we'll just leave it at that then.
• 1:34:47
  OK, That's it. It's a total mystery.
• 1:34:50
  Stay tuned. No, we're done.
• 1:34:51
  We're not OK. All.
• 1:34:54
  Right, why not? Why not have a bit of mystery in
• 1:34:56
  our lives? So join us next time, not in two
• 1:34:59
  weeks, but in four weeks because we have a bonus in between.
• 1:35:01
  In four weeks time we are going to be talking about Swamp Thing,
• 1:35:05
  which I told you about in detail and explained and fast color,
• 1:35:09
  which could be literally anything.
• 1:35:12
  They could even be craving the hunter.
• 1:35:14
  It could be, it might be. He spells fast with AK.
• 1:35:19
  That's just wrong. That's just incorrect.
• 1:35:22
  Where'd that bear come from? Where'd that bear come from?
• 1:35:25
  OK, well that'll be it. Frank.
• 1:35:28
  I want to move quickly into thanking everybody for listening
• 1:35:32
  to tonight's episode of Meet Your Double Feature.
• 1:35:34
  If you enjoyed the episode tonight, please give us a like
• 1:35:38
  give us a rating of follow. We really appreciate that
• 1:35:40
  support and helps us climb the charts and helps other people
• 1:35:43
  find the show. So please consider giving us
• 1:35:46
  that support if you enjoyed the program.
• 1:35:48
  Also, if you would like to follow the show on social media,
• 1:35:51
  you can find us on Instagram at Meet your double feature or on
• 1:35:55
  Blue Sky at mydf pod. Or if you would like the quick
• 1:36:00
  links to all of our socials as well as all of our new episodes,
• 1:36:03
  you can just visit our website at Meet your Double feature dot
• 1:36:06
  com. And then Frank, as of recently,
• 1:36:09
  as of our guest episode, we can now officially say that your
• 1:36:11
  movie Nate and Mariah in Venice is available to rent or purchase
• 1:36:15
  through Amazon Prime Video, which is super cool.
• 1:36:18
  That is super cool so. Go check it out, it's pretty
• 1:36:21
  good. Frank made a movie he Co
• 1:36:23
  produced. He was the cinematographer.
• 1:36:26
  It looks a heck of a lot better than Craven the Hunter, I can
• 1:36:28
  tell you that. We can only hope.
• 1:36:31
  We can only. Hope it has colors framing some
• 1:36:34
  degree of intentionality. Yeah, no rhinos unfortunately.
• 1:36:38
  Or. Leopards.
• 1:36:39
  Rhinos to my knowledge. Unfortunate, but shot entirely
• 1:36:42
  on the occasion in Venice. It is a romantic drama written
• 1:36:45
  and directed by Austin Bulky who we had on the show last time and
• 1:36:48
  Co produced by our very own Frank.
• 1:36:49
  Please go check it out. That is all of our links,
• 1:36:53
  programming notes. One last thing.
• 1:36:55
  So our next episode after this Frank exciting news.
• 1:36:59
  By popular demand, we are bringing back our side series
• 1:37:02
  ranking every movie ever made. I think about that.
• 1:37:06
  I like that one. I like it too, I'm a part of it.
• 1:37:13
  I think it turned out pretty good.
• 1:37:15
  It's good, I like it. That was a surprise hit for us.
• 1:37:19
  I wanted to do that as sort of just an idea if you didn't catch
• 1:37:22
  our first episode. What Frank and I are doing in
• 1:37:24
  this little side bonus series is we are pulling movies out of a
• 1:37:27
  hat that one or both of us has seen and ranking them on one
• 1:37:30
  complete list of every movie ever released from best to
• 1:37:34
  worst, which is an ongoing project that we will jump in
• 1:37:37
  with periodically. So that is what you will get
• 1:37:39
  from us in two weeks time and then two weeks following that on
• 1:37:41
  Thursday, that's when we will hear about Swamp Thing and our
• 1:37:45
  mystery film. Yeah, it's a mystery film now.
• 1:37:50
  It's a mystery. Maybe not the movie, but what it
• 1:37:53
  is, is a mystery. Yeah.
• 1:37:56
  OK. Thanks so much again for joining
• 1:37:57
  us. Frank is going to close us out
• 1:37:59
  today by going over the plot details and summary of Fast
• 1:38:03
  Color. And as soon as he starts
• 1:38:04
  talking, I'm going to cut him off and play the outro music.
• 1:38:07
  So in spider writers, they write these like really big spiders.
• 1:38:24
  Coming up next. It's.
• 1:38:26
  Swamp Thing followed by Fast Color on Meet Your Double
• 1:38:31
  feature.