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Rachel Salzberg: The Bold ReSoul- Living Aligned Inside and Out · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: My name is Leigh Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on bold journeys and made a positive impact in the world.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This podcast is all about those kinds of stories.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Every week, we'll hear from someone who has taken a leap or embarked on an extraordinary journey.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: In addition to hearing their stories, we'll also learn about their bold growth mindset that they use to make things happen.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Whether they face challenges or doubts along the way, they persisted and ultimately achieved their goals.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: These impactful stories will leave you feeling motivated and inspired to pursue your own bold journey.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be freed.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Tune in and get ready to be inspired.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Today I have Rachel Salzberg.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: She is a leadership development expert, keynote speaker, board member, podcast host, author and CEO of Facets Coaching.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: She coaches individuals and consults leaders in top-tier organizations like Microsoft, drawing on her deep expertise across various industries, including technology, non-profit academia and healthcare.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Central to Rachel's mission is the re-soul revolution.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: In her new book, she talks about a transformative movement that harmonizes brain and soul to elevate individual consciousness and unlock the path for full personal mastery.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: This philosophy champions the idea that everyone has both the capacity and moral responsibility to foster conscious leadership within themselves and extend it to their communities and the globe.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: In her work, Rachel introduces easily adoptable, yet powerful re-soul rituals, which we'll talk about today.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Her compelling narratives merge personal adversities with professional challenges, addressing societal pressures, fears and failures.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Her stories not only stir deep emotional connections but also inspire action, encouraging readers to ignite their personal re-soul revolutions themselves.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: By shedding outdated beliefs and aligning with her soul's desires, Rachel's transformed her life and now empowers others to tap into their soul-driven potential, helping people to transform their pain into powerful gifts of growth to achieve sustainable change, wisdom and strength.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge, so happy to have you, Thank you so much for having me Leigh.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: It's a super honor to be here.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So we're going to jump right in.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I love and I'm really excited to jump into the book and to the re-soul rituals that you speak about in the book.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: But let's just start with boldness.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: How would you define boldness in your world?
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: What does it look like?
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: You know that is such a great and powerful question.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: You know, when I think of boldness and I was thinking a lot about external things like what bold moves have I done in my life that were big moves but when I think about bold, for me it's really about the quest for personal growth.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: It's really about shifting the lens through which I saw myself and to being able to believe that I can, to believe in my self-worth, to live outside of someone else's maps, to move away from the shoulds.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: And so early on in my life and I think for so many of us in life, you know, when we're born into a family, family system, we live by the shoulds and so starting to question what those shoulds were and what was in bold being questioning my beliefs about myself into believing that I can versus I can't.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so belief is a big part of your definition, it sounds like, and belief that you can believe that you can do something different and believe that you can be yourself.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I think all of that stems from being super curious about what your thoughts and belief systems are and so often we think and I think this, you know, for such a long time.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: I remember sitting early on in my life with a therapist and she was talking to me about thoughts and she's like, well, you think this, but it's not a fact.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: And it was one of the biggest ahas for me to realize that my thoughts were not facts, that they were belief systems and that I could question them.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it does.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I think at different parts in your life, like you're, you're like, why was I carrying that with me, like that wasn't mine, and that's not actually how I think or how I believe, but for some reason it had become something of a you know, almost a thought habit, in a way of how you saw yourself or how you talk to yourself.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: So I've definitely I've unearthed some of those in my late forties, early fifties.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: So I'm glad I've jettisoned some of the negative and brought in more of the positive and bringing it in.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: So, when you think about your definition, is there an example that comes to mind for you of being bold or matches up with being you, being authentic and choosing your own path?
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I would like to think of it in terms of themes.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: You know, I grew up in a family of shoulds and of and from no blame.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: In a sense, they did the best they could, but it was very cultural my mother being British and my father being very volatile in terms of the East Coast personality, and I really avoided showing up and being myself.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: So you kind of muted yourself in a way, like you know, just be quiet.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Yep, exactly, don't make waves.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Don't make waves, and I learned to be kind of the mediator right In the family.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: So don't make waves and give up your needs and prioritize others.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: And so I became the people pleaser.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: I started to avoid conflict.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: I really questioned you know how I felt and thought I had a lot of self-doubt, a lot of self-doubt, and just went through a lot of internal suffering and felt like there was a monster in my head and there was a point in my life where I felt everything was out of control and the only thing that I could control was my eating and it turned into anorexia.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: And that was at a you know, you know, in late teen years.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: And I think for the first time in my life, I was done.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: I was done feeling like that.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: And so I started to do kind of this exploration of personal growth and decided actually that I would become an undergrad psychology major and sought out the ways in which I could explore outdated thought patterns and belief systems to believe in myself and then, as a result, the lens through which I saw myself determined the actions I took and the results I got.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: So, as a result, the themes were kind of reinvention and going through a psychology program and then deciding on my own.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm going to go to Europe on my own and travel and to do a study abroad, to then decide you know what I'm going to go get a business degree.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Nobody in my family had done a business degree, but it was believing that I could right.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: And then from there on there was a lot of reinvention in my life, where I was married at a fairly young age and was divorced and really again went into a place of darkness what was wrong with me and rejection and betrayal, but reinvented myself.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: And I believe boldness is a constant evolution and I think we're never done, we're always growing and it's always going into getting yourself back up and believing and realizing that your setbacks or failures are actually gifts of growth and opportunities to learn.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: And so I think that my life has been that.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: And then I went into marketing and advertising after my business degree, into a corporate environment and loved that for a while and then got incredibly burnt out and I think you and I have talked about that as well and needed to reinvent myself and ended up realizing that I wanted to become a coach because I really wanted to help people through their own internal struggles and also to develop happy, healthy, conscious leaders.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: And so reinvented myself and went through a coaching program and that launched a business which I've been doing for the past 16 years, which is facets coaching.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Nice, yeah.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: So like your bold moments, like you said, they really do cycle through your life and it isn't like a one and done, and it also I think our definitions change over time as well.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: What I thought was bold at 18 is different than 28, is different than 53.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: So for me, I think it is an evolution of us becoming who we're meant to be, based on our experiences and that includes our failures that we do learn a lot from, and so being able to kind of bring that forward.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: You also talked a little bit about something we have in common so this is something I've identified in myself is like the people pleasing tendencies that I've had in the past and kind of stopping those behaviors so some listeners may have that as well or imposter syndrome or perfectionism.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: So those are my, that's my trifecta.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: So when you think about people pleasing and how it may have made you actually not choose the path you would choose or potentially try to be something for somebody else, how did you, when you say reinvent, when you were in that reinvention cycle, after realizing there was some people pleasing, or a lot of it or a little of it happening, what's something someone can do?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: To?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: One, recognize they're doing it.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: And then two, what's the first step to reinvention once you know it?
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's a really great question, I think for me for a number of years, when I mentioned the taking on jobs or like, as I moved from Boulder, Colorado, got my MBA, moved to Seattle, and so that quickly I realized within that process that I was feeling disengaged, I was feeling burnt out, I was feeling overwhelmed and really compromised.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: And it was this feeling and this is really where the re-soul revolution kind of came to fruition.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: It was like I really felt like my soul was dying.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: And I remember laying in bed one day and just not wanting to get up, go to work and and it I realized that that was a huge signal of something very wrong and you didn't want to get up.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to get up.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, and literally I felt completely depressed, maybe depressed, and so I started to exactly.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I started to experience these feelings of depression and anxiety, and then it even turned into symptoms of autoimmune and went to doctor to doctor to doctor, and nobody could figure it out.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: But these were like signals that were like knocking louder and louder and louder.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: So for me it was a huge wake up call to I needed to figure out what I was thinking, what I was feeling and what was my body saying.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: And so actually in the book I have this idea called the bell model body, emotion and language Each can be used in it as an entry point to identify a limiting belief system.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: And so much for me.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: It was I'm afraid to set boundaries.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: I'm afraid if I don't please people, they won't like me or I will feel rejected or I won't be.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: You know enough, really enough.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: And so I got super curious in that you know, early on that thought is not a fact.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I started to really get super curious about neuroscience and how the brain worked, and to realize that I actually had the ability and control to create my inner world, to transform from inside out by shifting these outdated belief systems.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: And that, I think, is one of the biggest definitions in my mind of bold is really starting to question yourself, question internal, deep seated programming that maybe we've always had, and to be able to shift them.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: And so I would say to anybody once they start to, when they feel a signal of depression, anxiety, of compromise, of even a trigger, something's off, like it doesn't have to be a huge thing when they feel off is a perfect example.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: It's just a signal that there may be a belief system or a thought pattern that isn't aligning with your true self.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: And when I say that believing you're enough, believing that you're worthy, really creating that idea of self-love because when we are in that mode we take bolder moves.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: And it doesn't have to be a huge action.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: It can be setting a simple boundary, it can be asking for what you need, and then you start to align with yourself and you develop that own, what I call soul self-confidence and that's cultivating that by taking those risks, you realize you can do it too, even if that other person or other situation doesn't necessarily understand.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah, so your belief system is?
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: I think it is the primary place where we jump off of.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: You know from our actions, how we operate, who we hang around, how we talk to ourselves.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: So such an important part it's the be of bold, of the framework.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: So it's believe and so really getting in there and doing that audit of your beliefs.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: When it comes to I just love the word reinvention how would you define that?
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of our listeners are women.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: And so they may be, you know, in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond, and so you could be reinventing yourself every decade, or you know, you know's.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: There's no like limit on how many times you could do it, but I think when someone hears that, what does that mean to you?
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: When it comes to you know, our worlds, being ourselves and being authentic?
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's a really great question because we, you know, reinvention can have the connotation of something huge and bold.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: But I believe that every single day we have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves, to resold ourselves, to resurge and then even moment by moment.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: And so when we feel off, or when we are feeling depressed, when we are feeling fear or self-doubt or lack of confidence, that is the opportunity to interrupt the thought pattern, to get super curious and to shift that.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: And even if it doesn't feel true at first, even and like I am enough you know that's kind of cliche, but I believe in myself, I believe that I can, and not just to say it but to truly feel it and to look back at those times, right To visualize it, to feel it.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: And so every day, and so I wake up each and every morning and I have my journal with my coffee, and it's a ritual.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: This is an example of my own resole ritual for reinvention.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: It's re-soling so that it starts to ingrain and embody the habitual pattern of thinking to be able to shift that.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: So when I say reinvention, it's reinventing our thought patterns and we're always evolving and growing and so peeling that onion and reinventing yourself internally to then reinvent yourself externally and then you're able to take more, bolder moves in your life.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I used to say like I'm a work in progress, but I heard someone say that masterpiece in motion.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: And I really like that, because I think we all have gifts, we all have something to give and we want to be living our best life every day.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: And what does that mean to you?
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: And how do you reinvent yourself so that you're more in alignment with who that person is right and who you want to be?
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: And so, really, I love that word, I like becoming as well.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: I think that's something that I'm focusing in on myself.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: It's a messy place sometimes, right, you know, so it doesn't always look perfect or feel perfect, but as you're going through it, you know, my thing is just keep moving, just keep moving forward and try not to get stuck.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: So you, we talked a little bit about that.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: We have burnout in common.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: So tell me, you know, one of the things I did was ignore some of the signs.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: It sounds like you had some of the signs, but did you ignore them and try to keep doing what it always worked before?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: How did you get to that state of burnout where you said I have to do something different?
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I think that it's a great question, and I, you know, I think we become so accustomed to ignoring those unconscious belief systems that when they start to speak louder and show up as depression, as anxiety, as dis-ease, literally your body is in dis-ease, and so those are signals.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: But before they even become those deep-seated signals, I think it's just the deep questioning of how am I feeling today?
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Am I feeling off or am I feeling today?
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Am I feeling off or am I feeling aligned?
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: And so, and getting as important as feeling off, when you're feeling aligned, or feeling in the flow, or feeling grounded and centered, however we describe it, what is it that I'm thinking?
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: And so that is also a signal of alignment, when you are in a place of feeling good, relaxed, calm and confident.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: I hope that answers your question.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, yeah, great descriptor.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: So I think being sure not to ignore the signs when something's off is always something I say, and I definitely want my story and you know, like other people's stories like yours to help people understand that they can do it earlier and maybe not have to get to a place of you know, like other people's stories like yours, to help people understand that they can do it earlier.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe not have to get to a place of you know, like I was in such an unhealthy place that I needed to make that change.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: So definitely don't turn off the signal or, you know, if that, if there's a warning light, like definitely pay attention to it.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Don't just reset like I did or you did, you know, and just keep trying to do the same thing over and over.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so when you thought about writing, this book?
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: what was the intention?
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: What do you want your book to do once someone has it in their hands?
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: So the intention for me, you know, is interesting.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: This book was a four plus year long project.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: I actually think it's a lifetime of my own internal challenges and and wisdom that I've developed over time.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: And it's such a learning.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: And then really about what were the tools that I developed for myself to be able to resole and resurge, and what were those rituals and frameworks that I use so that I could share with others and also with the people that I've worked with over the years, whether it's in an organization or with my clients.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: And so the goal of this book was really to help people through their own internal struggles.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: How do they resole and resurge?
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: How do they be a model for others and give permission for others to do the same?
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: And my whole mission really is around bringing more consciousness into the world, into business.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: As an individual, when we are able to model the ability to transform from inside out by questioning our outdated belief systems that hold us back, in that we are able to bring more consciousness to others and be a model for that, and so that really is my mission for the book.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: It's, I think both you and I are similar in terms of really helping people give a platform and a voice.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: I believe that that personal is universal, that we can be there and support one another and share our own stories and and frameworks, and so really it's about how helping people to resoul and research and create their own resoul revolution.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: It's different Everybody's got a different experience, different filter, different lens but also tools and frameworks that help them, and so, through the book, it's not just a story of my own challenges, but it's also a framework, and so it's a guide, and so it's meant to be an anchor to go back to, to be read, to be shared, to build community.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: And so it's an over 300 and something page page book, but it's meant to just be your anchor, get up every day and be able to shift moment by moment and revisit nice, yeah, so it's not a one and done, just like being bold is not a one and done.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: I think it's going to be an evolution and as you go through certain parts of your life, you might want to go back and visit, you know, revisit some pieces or parts of the book or go through the whole framework again.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: How did you lay out the book and what was the thought behind of as someone progresses through defining their own re-soul revolution, where are their stops along the way.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the book is divided into three parts and so really so much of it is setting the foundation how does the brain work?
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: And understanding neuroscience and starting to become aware of thought patterns and belief systems and how they live in the body, and then the next phase of that is really understanding, or the part is resurging and to create your next level, soul, by what I call shifting your energy, shifting your vibration.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: So when we are in a limiting belief, as an example, I'm not good enough.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: It really lowers our energy.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: For me, I thought I was really great at faking it, you know, and you know I'm feeling good and I remember a manager, as an example, sitting me down at one of the earlier on jobs that I did because I should, and he's like great skill set, you know.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: But where's that passion, where's that fire?
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: And I didn't realize.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: I thought it was really good at, you know, smiling and putting my arm, but he was.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: He was experiencing my energy and my energy was depleted, my energy.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: And we all know what it looks like when we have inspirational people who are passionate about something as an example, and someone who's not, but just going through the motions, and so it's really about creating our energy and being super aware of our energy, and we do that through this idea of body, emotion and language.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: So our thought patterns then shift our energy, which are chemicals, which are feelings which then show up in our body.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: So we learn how to do that in the book.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: And then the third part is creating from our next level soul, or cultivating our next level soul, and that is really identifying and being super aware of what our core values are, versus the imposed values that we take on through society or job or a family, which are oftentimes the shoulds, and then cultivating that and then articulating what our purpose is.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be changing the world.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: It's like how do we make a difference each day, how do I show up each day, how do I want to contribute, and so being able to articulate that so that we're able to take more inspired action, meaning bold moves, in our life.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: So, rather than fear-based action or action out of the should, when we are in an inspired action we take really amazing bold moves.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: So this book, as an example, was a huge bold move for me, where both my mom was an editor and my father was an author, but I always was known for someone who was not able to spell and grammatically, you know, and I always put myself down and thought oh, I can do that.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Something's wrong with you, right?
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Something's wrong with me, right.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I could never write a book because I'm not good at spelling or whatever, or detail oriented.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: And so I remember, just before the pandemic, I called both of them and said I just had this inspiration that I wanted to share my story and I wanted to write a book.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: And I called them up and I said that's what I'm going to do.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: And they're like, yeah, yeah, good luck.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: You know it's really hard.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: And so you know what I'm going to write a book.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: And that was my bold move through this that I wanted not only to show myself but that authentic story that I wanted to be able to share and help others and to be able to take that bold move.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: And I look back and I'm like I can't even believe I did it.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: But it was through incremental steps, small steps.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Every day I gave myself a goal just write five minutes.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: It was my.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: So much of this is my journal Look back.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: And so this book is through re-soul ritual, which is either shifting your mindset and or starting to cultivate your next level soul by something that you aspire or want to do through your authentic purpose.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so one of the things that you talk about.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: So I love just how that you roll through the book, but one of the stops first stops that you have is really around your belief systems.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: What are some outdated belief system examples so that we can cue into the?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's what she means, or that's what you know.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Maybe you've discovered with some of your clients and organizations.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: What are some of those belief systems that really need to go?
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think for me it was so much of it I can't, or I'm not good enough, or it's too late for me to do that, or I'm weak.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: One of the biggest things for me when I was in the really cutthroat corporate environment within marketing and advertising, I would crumble under certain personalities and I would kind of like a cowering puppy and I just told myself that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't hack it, that I was weak.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: There must've been something wrong with me.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Or I'm not smart enough there's a whole chapter in the book about comparison.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: Like you know that or I'm not analytical enough.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: You know these are belief systems that I took on at a very early age or it wasn't okay to ask for what I needed and that's an outdated belief system and for fear that something would happen or I would be rejected or disliked.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: And even if that were the case, it was really about believing in myself.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: You know, and at the end of the day, the outdated belief system was there was something wrong with me and I couldn't hack it and I deserve things that were bad.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: You know, I didn't even know that these were the things that, because they were so unconscious and so programmed.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Within that, I became paralyzed.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: I stopped taking risks.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: I didn't take bold moves because I didn't.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: Within that, I became paralyzed.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: I stopped taking risks.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't take bold moves because I didn't believe that I could.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so how do we identify when we have a belief process or system or something that keeps coming that is not benefiting us?
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: What would be like an example of one of the rituals potentially that we could have from learning more about these outdated belief systems?
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: And then how do we, you know, resole ourselves or retune into what it is we should be saying to ourselves?
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, really great question.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: I think I mentioned this idea of a great tool that I use is called the bell model body emotion language, mentioned earlier on.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: And and when we have a feeling, or when we have an emotion of, say, fear or just a sense of agitation, depression, anxiety, it's an opportunity to stop, pause, which is a ritual, and to consider what am I thinking, what is under that feeling?
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: So for me it was let's just use the example I'm not good enough or I could never do that, which then felt like this agitation in my heart and in my body.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: And the language piece was I'm not good enough.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: And so what the ritual is?
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: And when you notice a trigger and I consider that a trigger when you're kind of in this fight or flight or stuck place or you notice the cortisol pumping, it's an opportunity to stop and pause, and even proactively I call it segment intending.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: So a ritual for me is to I have a kind of a list of the things that I know that trigger me, or where my fears come from, and I shift that language.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: So I am relaxed, calm and confident.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: I imagine and visualize myself when I'm not with my dog, it doesn't, you know and I'm running.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: I love jewelry design and interior design when I'm kind of in the flow, so it doesn't have to be what exactly that you're going to be doing, but it's the visualize of the feeling that's the most important thing in your body, and to attach a language piece of how you want to be, to then coming to an I am piece, and it's rehearse, rehearse, rehearse, every single day, moment by moment.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: I have an alarm on my phone, I have a sticky note on my computer and so when you are in proactive mode, habitually feeling and believing, then you change the neuroplasticity in your brain to realize one day I was like I am relaxed, calm and confident.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: So that's an example.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think one thing people don't realize is when they you know just my own experience with my negative talk, like it's you're actually training your brain to call it in.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: You know, if you over uh, you know excessively worry or over worry, about you're actually calling some of that in, so, like you know, it's retraining yourself to a new habit of thought right, that is exactly it yeah, and it's not.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: It's easier said than done, but it takes incremental like you use I love that word incremental steps forward and you will start to push the negative out and bring the more positive in.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: And it feels uncomfortable maybe at first, or just weird, you know, to say things to yourself, like for a while, when I was burnt out, like I could not even look at myself in the mirror, I didn't know who I was, like I'd gained so much weight.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: I, you know, had no color because I never saw the sun, I was just not in good shape.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: But I mean that if anything is like an indicator of a real issue, right, you can't even look at yourself.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: But I think just how I talked to myself was just like I couldn't figure it out.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I wasn't good enough.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: I, you know why can't I?
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: I'm a fixer, I'm so smart.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Like what's wrong with me?
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: And I think you just need to realize there's the only thing that's wrong with you is that you're out of alignment, and one of the things you talked about was our value system and that's what I was the most out of alignment.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: Can you tell me a little bit about how you talk about that in the book and understanding what our core values are and are we operating in alignment with them?
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: It's so important.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: So you know again, what I talk about in the book is, like you know, the difference between your core values, the essence of who you are, what you believe those generally don't change right and then the idea of imposed values, ones that we take on from a job or a culture or a society, and oftentimes, as an example, I earlier on, as I shifted actually another reinvention point in my career.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: I shifted from marketing and advertising into talent acquisition and recruiting at Microsoft and my value was really about what I wanted to do is help to build happy, healthy teams and help people play to their natural strengths and gifts and to really help develop conscious leaders.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: Well, earlier on in the career, it was the performance in terms of how you were measured was how many jobs you were able to fill quickly, and so you didn't really have the opportunity to help people really develop or create the leverage their natural strengths.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: It was like there was a conflict.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: So I had to make a decision that that wasn't in alignment with my values and I felt compromised.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: I didn't feel good about what I was doing.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: It was my integrity, and I believe that values are on a spectrum, and so sometimes we're kind of neutral between values that are imposed and our core values, and that's okay and so.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: But once you come to a place of total conflict, that is a decision-making point, and so values are opportunities to make decisions.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Am I in alignment with this?
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Is this what I want to do because it aligns with my core values, or am I in conflict?
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: And so I use?
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: The way to talk about values is being able to distinguish between core values and imposed values, but also leveraging, using values as helping you make decisions in your life.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: The first and most important thing in the book there, you know, oftentimes we we aren't really clear on what our values are, so there are a number of questions to get super clear on what they may be.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: The other point of this is like going back to the bell model.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: When we are feeling in conflict, that's also a signal that we may be in misalignment with our values, that we're doing something because we should, or we're doing something that we should, or we're doing something that is in conflict within our integrity.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: So, again, there are indicators and signifiers for where we're in alignment or not.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so pay attention to them.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: You're getting this feeling something's off, something's got to give.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: I'm just not okay.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Those are things that you know.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: It isn't like a reset.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I get a good night's sleep and I feel better.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: You know, maybe that solves it, and then that isn't something on on the road to burnout, but most likely if you're feeling that there's something deeper that isn't aligned and I think for me it was a huge thing that wasn't aligned, but I just kept ignoring it and turning off the blinking light, Right, you know.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: So just encourage men and women to really to really look into that.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: So when someone goes through the book and they set their own resole rituals and they're able to define their revolution because it's personal, yeah what does it feel like when you're at that point as they launch into the next level of themselves?
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: What does it feel like once you've figured these things out?
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Can you describe how you feel now and compared to how you felt before?
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: You know, there's so many subtle but huge shifts that I feel differently around and that I can look back on where I didn't feel good.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: And so, most importantly, it's this whole idea of loving myself and it's you know we say we love ourselves and that's kind of cliche in a lot of different ways but it you know what are the actions that I take, that I take now in my life that honor myself, that are honoring my boundaries, honoring my needs, because it's I'm believing I'm worthy of it.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: So, as a result, I'm taking what I call inspired action, different moves that are in alignment with my values, that I'm clear on my purpose, Like this book is like, and I feel like I'm in the flow, that work is feeling at my life and is more effortless, that even if I'm actually working more than I ever have done.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: But I feel so inspired and so energized.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: And so my vibration, my energy, which is what I talk a lot about in the book, is just very.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: When I call high energy, it's grounded energy.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: When we're in low energy, we're actually in a very low vibration of a thinking, feeling, place of self-doubt or fear or whatever.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: So it's really being super aware of the feeling and our energy and what actions we are taking and where we feel inspired or energized.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: And then also, as an example, I have a statement in my own Riesel ritual book is that I'm confident, independent of people in situations, so I trust myself and believe in my self-worth and even if someone doesn't agree or a situation around me doesn't align, I still know who I am.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: That's the resole.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like this idea of re-sole-ing a shoe.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: It's like you really get to re-sole yourself in all of these aspects, to feel and be different in your life, and that's the revolution.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: So obviously, pick up the book.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: All the information is in the episode notes below.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: That's going to really kickstart your journey.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: But what's the first step someone can take today to begin their resole revolution?
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: I think curiosity.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Curiosity is really, you know, one of the biggest, boldest moves that I could ever do is to, just in a moment, get curious about what you're thinking and does it feel good or does it feel bad.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: And, like you mentioned earlier, one of the things that is incredibly important is to push through the discomfort, because so often we, like with burnout, we were like, yep, no, I'm going to ignore this, I'm going to ignore this, I'm going to ignore this, I'm going to ignore this, I'm going to keep going, but it's interrupting and pausing, pausing momentarily.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: Jot it down, that's one of the first moves that you can do to get super curious about observing your thought patterns.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: And thoughts are just beliefs, beliefs are thoughts.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: You keep thinking, and incrementally, every single day.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: Jot it down and then questioning how do you want to feel, how do you want to be, what do you want in this life?
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so feeling the feels is kind of like not pushing it away, working to understand it.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: You might not understand it, like you said, out of the gate, but keep persistent.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Keep on that for yourself to understand where is it coming from, why am I feeling this?
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: And then you know, maybe you'll figure out.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: You just need to try something different.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Or maybe you need to go left when you thought you were going to go right, or maybe you just stay the course and you're like I'm still going to keep where I am and see what I learn.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: You have options and I think that's really important for people to realize too when they're being bold.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: It's a choice and I think we talk about a lot of like if I do this, then this might happen, and we think about the what ifs a lot right, and usually they're negative and worst case scenario just happens for us planners and those types of things just trying to be prepared for what to do.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: But you can't prepare for everything and I think also you need to start living today and don't put that off.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: So using your book to really kickstart that, to get to know yourself, to unearth your belief systems that maybe are outdated and that might be holding you back.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: It's such an important book and very, very inspiring.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: So thank you very much for sharing the Riesel Revolution, your book, all the information below how to contact you and connect with you and buy your book all the information below how to contact you and connect with you and buy your book is in the episode notes.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Appreciate you being on the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: It was such a pleasure and a gift to be able to have this conversation.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Through the continuum of bold stories vulnerability to taking a leap you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important story.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: By highlighting these stories, we hope to inspire others and share the journey of those with a bold mindset.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: We hope you've enjoyed this podcast and look forward to sharing the next bold journey with you.