Latest / I Do, Part 2 / How To Know When Your Friendship Isn’t Worth Saving

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How To Know When Your Friendship Isn’t Worth Saving · I Do, Part 2

0:02
Speaker 1: Taylor.
0:02
Speaker 2: Folks, it is Saturday, June thirteenth, a relationship Saturday, you know,
0:08
Speaker 2: the day we spend so much time with the people
0:10
Speaker 2: we love, whether that's somebody we're in a relationship with
0:13
Speaker 2: or with a friend. But Robes has been telling me
0:16
Speaker 2: she has been dying to talk about this this week.
0:20
Speaker 2: When do you know there are some friendships you just
0:23
Speaker 2: need to let go of? And with that, welcome to
0:25
Speaker 2: this episode of Amy and TJ on this Saturday. Yes, friends,
0:30
Speaker 2: family and relationships. People spend these Saturdays together. A lot
0:33
Speaker 2: of time is spent on relationships on Saturday, including friendships.
0:37
Speaker 2: But this might be your last Saturday with this particular friend.
0:41
Speaker 1: After you listen to Robach.
0:43
Speaker 3: Well, I'm curious from a man's perspective, I think all
0:46
Speaker 3: the ladies listening know that.
0:48
Speaker 4: Girls.
0:49
Speaker 3: I just think throughout the arg of a girl's life,
0:52
Speaker 3: you go through some friends and there are some really
0:54
Speaker 3: tough friendships, and you're oftentimes wondering in different phases of
0:58
Speaker 3: your life whether or not a friendship is worth saving
1:01
Speaker 3: or if you should go ahead and break off a friendship.
1:04
Speaker 4: Do men have those same dilemmas throughout their lives?
1:07
Speaker 2: Generally, No, we just end a friendship, never heard from
1:12
Speaker 2: him again, or we fight it out or something. It's
1:15
Speaker 2: just not And I've learned a lot from watching you
1:17
Speaker 2: and also watching Love Island, and you explain things to
1:19
Speaker 2: me to where men just don't have oftentimes the complications
1:23
Speaker 2: you all seem to have. And we're in your face
1:26
Speaker 2: about it, right, you all play games.
1:28
Speaker 4: Oh we're passive aggressive.
1:30
Speaker 1: Yeah we don't.
1:31
Speaker 4: Yes, we're passive aggressive.
1:32
Speaker 3: We don't directly confront issues often and we try to
1:39
Speaker 3: manipulate and control.
1:40
Speaker 4: That is just the way we are. I can honestly
1:42
Speaker 4: admit that.
1:44
Speaker 2: Okay, there's a you know, I love my stand up comics,
1:46
Speaker 2: and there was a guys have talked about this.
1:49
Speaker 1: Dudes don't do this.
1:50
Speaker 2: We say, I saw this guy, he went that way.
1:52
Speaker 2: I called him a name, I punched him in a face,
1:54
Speaker 2: and that was the end up Like we just got
1:55
Speaker 2: into a fight. It was done like a very few
1:58
Speaker 2: steps in a male just I'm Marvel. We will have
2:02
Speaker 2: a Love Island episode up here in a bit.
2:03
Speaker 3: But watching how men handle conflict with one another versus
2:07
Speaker 3: how women handle conflict with one another, it is remarkable.
2:11
Speaker 2: Been five episodes of women conflict. Two dou handled it
2:14
Speaker 2: in thirty seconds, may the best man win, and they
2:17
Speaker 2: moved on.
2:18
Speaker 1: Yes, that's how we end.
2:20
Speaker 4: It's crazy to watch.
2:21
Speaker 3: So yes, us women, this probably is for the ladies
2:25
Speaker 3: listening solely because you probably you were kind of like
2:29
Speaker 3: when I explained this article, I was like, this is
2:30
Speaker 3: so good. They had relationship experts talk about how to
2:34
Speaker 3: know whether or not you should end a friendship, and
2:37
Speaker 3: once you make that determination, how to end it.
2:40
Speaker 4: And you looked at me like I had three eyes.
2:42
Speaker 1: You're like, what, Okay? First of all, it was about
2:45
Speaker 1: how to know, first of all, if you need to
2:47
Speaker 1: get rid of a friendship.
2:48
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, I'm dying to hear this because I mean
2:51
Speaker 2: this all applied to everybody though, right.
2:52
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, absolutely, And look they start on these
2:56
Speaker 3: this foundation that you should recognize that friendships are built.
3:01
Speaker 3: They don't just exist like family relationships. They're there, but
3:04
Speaker 3: a friendship is built, it's chosen, and most friendships require
3:09
Speaker 3: small but meaningful acts of maintenance. And if you don't
3:13
Speaker 3: or aren't willing to do those things, it probably is
3:16
Speaker 3: pointing to something.
3:17
Speaker 1: Well was considered maintenance in a friendship.
3:19
Speaker 3: Just checking in texting, even if you no longer live
3:22
Speaker 3: with or around or near one another. It's just that effort.
3:26
Speaker 3: A friendship requires effort, I guess is the point. But
3:30
Speaker 3: imbalance is inevitable and changes often take place with different
3:34
Speaker 3: phases of your life.
3:35
Speaker 4: And so I don't know.
3:36
Speaker 3: Again, men might be different, but women, we move around,
3:39
Speaker 3: we get married, maybe we get divorced, we have kids
3:42
Speaker 3: who're working, we're not working. All of those dramatically impact
3:46
Speaker 3: the level of closeness you have with a friend.
3:49
Speaker 1: Same for men.
3:49
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, we're with you so far. All right,
3:52
Speaker 4: So that's the foundation.
3:54
Speaker 3: Here are three signs, according to the experts, that it's
3:57
Speaker 3: time to reevaluate and potentially end your friendship.
4:01
Speaker 2: What we're gonna do one at a time. You're gonna
4:02
Speaker 2: name them all and then we just got how we're
4:03
Speaker 2: gonna do it.
4:04
Speaker 4: We'll do one at a time.
4:04
Speaker 3: Okay, you can't be yourself without worrying about losing the friendship.
4:10
Speaker 4: Oh god, yeah, women.
4:12
Speaker 3: That will land like you need to try and can
4:14
Speaker 3: amend what you think or believe or want to do
4:17
Speaker 3: to try and make the other person happy. So the
4:19
Speaker 3: point being is with your friends, you got to be
4:22
Speaker 3: able to be authentic. That's the whole point of a
4:25
Speaker 3: friendship to be able to tell your friend what you
4:28
Speaker 3: really think. Maybe something you wouldn't tell your significant other
4:30
Speaker 3: because they might fall out of love with you if
4:32
Speaker 3: they heard.
4:33
Speaker 4: But something you can. You need to have that friend
4:35
Speaker 4: that you can tell anything and everything too.
4:37
Speaker 1: Say the thing again, how's it put?
4:39
Speaker 3: The sign that it's time to reevaluate your friendship is
4:42
Speaker 3: you cannot be yourself without worrying about losing the friendship.
4:47
Speaker 2: Man, I can't think of one. Do you have one
4:50
Speaker 2: even in the past five years?
4:53
Speaker 3: No, I can't, because here are the signs. You're softening
4:57
Speaker 3: your opinions, you downplay your accomplished, you pretend to be
5:01
Speaker 3: more agreeable, you're trying to secure approval, and you're trying
5:06
Speaker 3: to avoid judgment. And anyway, they're just saying a friendship.
5:10
Speaker 3: I thought this was really interesting. Think about it like this.
5:12
Speaker 3: The bare minimum of a healthy friendship is feeling understood
5:17
Speaker 3: and accepted for who you actually are.
5:20
Speaker 2: Understood and accepted for who you actually are. Okay, I
5:24
Speaker 2: had a question I was about to ask, does this apply?
5:27
Speaker 2: Does it matter the need to be male male friendships,
5:30
Speaker 2: women women friendships? Does it matter if it's man woman
5:32
Speaker 2: doesn't matter?
5:33
Speaker 1: Gay? Straight? Does This is just friendships.
5:34
Speaker 4: This is friendship period.
5:35
Speaker 3: I mean you and I had a deep friendship for
5:38
Speaker 3: eight years and I feel like I was the person
5:40
Speaker 3: you came to to feel understood.
5:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it makes it easy to date later
5:45
Speaker 2: on because you don't have anything to hide, like O, hell.
5:48
Speaker 4: I love all you're ugly, and you saw allmine.
5:50
Speaker 2: And she's still here, then we're good. Okay, that's not
5:54
Speaker 2: a guy I'd never Yeah, the thing you say that
5:57
Speaker 2: about softening opinions or changing things?
6:00
Speaker 4: Girls do that?
6:00
Speaker 2: Think of anything or any guy I've ever been around
6:03
Speaker 2: where I am tiptoeing in some way, or.
6:07
Speaker 4: It's a need to be liked.
6:08
Speaker 3: It's a desire to be wanted at all costs, even
6:11
Speaker 3: if it means removing part of who you are. That's
6:13
Speaker 3: a sign you're not in a good friendship. That's a
6:15
Speaker 3: sign that that might not be someone you should be
6:17
Speaker 3: friends with it Okay, number two, here's another sign. You
6:22
Speaker 3: organize and initiate every interaction. That's a big red flag.
6:26
Speaker 3: So look, a busy friend will make time to feel
6:31
Speaker 3: like you matter, even if it's just a text. Because yes,
6:34
Speaker 3: I will admit I sometimes feel like I'm not being
6:37
Speaker 3: as good of a friend because I'm so busy. We're
6:38
Speaker 3: working NonStop, but I will text and say how's your
6:41
Speaker 3: day going? Like, there are ways if you want to
6:44
Speaker 3: be in a friendship with someone and you want to
6:45
Speaker 3: have a relationship with someone. I text my friends almost
6:49
Speaker 3: every day, but at least every other day. Yeah, guys
6:54
Speaker 3: aren't the same.
6:55
Speaker 2: If that's the case, you organize initiate every interaction all
6:59
Speaker 2: of my friends. We should just all break up now
7:01
Speaker 2: because guys, we don't hear from each other for weeks
7:04
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden it's hot. We just
7:07
Speaker 2: don't do that. We don't check in every day every
7:09
Speaker 2: other day. We got friends that are bit Two of
7:12
Speaker 2: my busiest friends ever just hit me up invited me
7:15
Speaker 2: to watch the NBA Finals game going out tonight. We're
7:19
Speaker 2: not there, but yeah, what I'm saying is we come
7:22
Speaker 2: up with stuff randomly here and there. We don't we
7:24
Speaker 2: don't just check in every two days.
7:26
Speaker 4: But it isn't one sided.
7:27
Speaker 3: Like you will check in on them, they'll check in
7:29
Speaker 3: on it a couple of weeks. Yeah, Like, guys are
7:32
Speaker 3: different and different. And also I have different friendships where
7:35
Speaker 3: I have a couple girlfriends who we live far apart,
7:38
Speaker 3: we haven't seen each other in a while, but every couple,
7:40
Speaker 3: like on birthdays, on Mother's Day, on certain days.
7:44
Speaker 4: Or you'll just throw a throat like Sarah Hanes.
7:46
Speaker 3: Will throw me a throwback picture from ten years ago
7:48
Speaker 3: and say thinking of you, and I might not have
7:50
Speaker 3: heard from her in a month.
7:52
Speaker 4: So I have friends like that.
7:53
Speaker 3: But that's just a it's a it's a show of hey,
7:56
Speaker 3: I still care about you, and we might be in
7:58
Speaker 3: different faces right now, but like, here's here's the good thing.
8:02
Speaker 3: I like, this is a good way to look at it.
8:04
Speaker 3: What would happen if you stop reaching out? Would there
8:07
Speaker 3: even be a friendship anymore?
8:10
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of anybody. If I stop reaching
8:12
Speaker 2: out to Oh no, I would get welfare checks exactly.
8:16
Speaker 3: So that means those are your friends. But that is
8:18
Speaker 3: a really good way to look at it. If you
8:20
Speaker 3: stopped reaching out, would you ever hear from them again?
8:23
Speaker 1: You know what?
8:23
Speaker 2: The only have one friend like that, and you'll know,
8:25
Speaker 2: I kind of want to call him out, you know,
8:27
Speaker 2: it is the only one because he's a malicious He's
8:30
Speaker 2: a moron. He's an absolute maron. I can't stand him.
8:35
Speaker 2: He is I hate him and he knows I'm talking
8:38
Speaker 2: about him right now. I'm going to afford him this episode,
8:41
Speaker 2: and we could call him out publicly because he's publicly.
8:43
Speaker 4: Known, and he would laugh.
8:45
Speaker 1: No, he wouldn't. He'd start calling Oh.
8:47
Speaker 4: All right, well maybe you should send him this. I
8:49
Speaker 4: love it.
8:49
Speaker 1: I would never call Matt out like that.
8:51
Speaker 4: Haha, I love it.
8:53
Speaker 3: You just said his name, all right. Number three, here's
8:56
Speaker 3: the third sign. You can't work through problems together. That
9:01
Speaker 3: sounds obvious, but it's basically people who care about a
9:05
Speaker 3: friendship act like it. Basically believe people when they show
9:09
Speaker 3: you who you are. So you should be able to apologize,
9:14
Speaker 3: sit through uncomfortable conversations, and then change behavior based on
9:18
Speaker 3: those conversations. And I can say Nicky and I have
9:20
Speaker 3: had maybe two tough conversations and they were uncomfortable and
9:24
Speaker 3: we were fighting, and it seems weird because when you
9:27
Speaker 3: see us, we don't seem like people who would ever fight,
9:29
Speaker 3: But those were actually transformational conversations where we understood each other.
9:33
Speaker 3: And so yes, if you can't have those conversations or
9:36
Speaker 3: you're afraid to have that conversation with someone, you probably
9:39
Speaker 3: shouldn't be in a friendship with them.
9:41
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of one fight.
9:42
Speaker 2: I have a hat, what a dude, and we had
9:45
Speaker 2: to work through something in our friendship.
9:47
Speaker 1: I can't remember.
9:48
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about just that idea with men in general.
9:51
Speaker 3: It sounds funny, not that it isn't true and it
9:53
Speaker 3: isn't real, but it sounds funny because it just doesn't
9:56
Speaker 3: seem like something men.
9:57
Speaker 1: Trying to find one.
9:58
Speaker 2: The only uncomfortable had convers I had with a friend
10:00
Speaker 2: was Chuck, and he was mad at me because I
10:02
Speaker 2: was leaving one job and going to another place and
10:05
Speaker 2: he thought that was.
10:05
Speaker 1: A bad move.
10:06
Speaker 4: He cared about you.
10:07
Speaker 2: He was really trying to get me to stop, and
10:10
Speaker 2: that was uncomfortable.
10:10
Speaker 1: I me.
10:11
Speaker 2: It was Oceanaire at the bar in Atlanta. I remember
10:14
Speaker 2: it to this day, and erbes I didn't listen to him.
10:18
Speaker 2: The friendship continue. But at the end of that, you
10:23
Speaker 2: know what happened. I do you do you like? He
10:26
Speaker 2: tried and tried and tried, but at the end, fuck it,
10:29
Speaker 2: that's your call. You do your thing. And we continued on,
10:32
Speaker 2: but he was not. That was the most uncomfortable conversation
10:34
Speaker 2: I've ever had.
10:35
Speaker 4: Interesting, but it's because he cared about you. So that
10:38
Speaker 4: you knew where.
10:38
Speaker 3: It was coming from. And that actually is a sign
10:41
Speaker 3: of a good relationship.
10:42
Speaker 2: Art that was more than a decade ago. I can't
10:44
Speaker 2: remember another confrontation with them.
10:45
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and that okay, and my point, yes, and
10:49
Speaker 3: I think my worst friendship breakup ever. Actually, I've had
10:53
Speaker 3: two really really tough ones, and you know how they
10:56
Speaker 3: ended with the refusal of the other party to talk
10:59
Speaker 3: to me.
11:00
Speaker 4: And that is when.
11:02
Speaker 3: That's the biggest red sign ever, I mean red flag
11:04
Speaker 3: and the biggest sign ever. I just complated those two
11:06
Speaker 3: things because this is what the bottom line is. It
11:09
Speaker 3: is telling how willing someone is to fight for the relationship.
11:15
Speaker 3: You can be mad, you can be sad, you can
11:17
Speaker 3: be hurt, but if you are unwilling to fight for
11:20
Speaker 3: the relationship, you should walk away.
11:22
Speaker 2: I'm with you on that, But that was that whole situa.
11:26
Speaker 2: Now i't get into that again. But yes, I get
11:28
Speaker 2: what you're saying. In the larger point, I don't know.
11:31
Speaker 2: It's don't we know. I'll ask you, don't you know?
11:34
Speaker 2: And the friendships use lost and things that happened over
11:36
Speaker 2: the years. Let me hell go back to your high
11:38
Speaker 2: school days. Yeah, after you lost them or you're really
11:40
Speaker 2: that surprised after you give reflection and look back on it,
11:43
Speaker 2: are you really that surprised?
11:44
Speaker 3: I have one that know on one of them, But yes,
11:47
Speaker 3: I am still surprised about one of them. I feel
11:49
Speaker 3: I actually feel fooled. Yes, it's the one that surprised
11:52
Speaker 3: me the most. I had another one that when I
11:55
Speaker 3: looked back, I thought, yeah, there were signs.
11:57
Speaker 1: And the one you're talking about, your mama not surprised.
12:02
Speaker 3: Yes, you could see things that I couldn't. All right,
12:04
Speaker 3: So when we come back, this is pretty cool. Not
12:08
Speaker 3: only did these experts give the warning signs, but they
12:11
Speaker 3: also gave some advice on what to do if your
12:14
Speaker 3: friendship is no longer serving you. And welcome back everyone
12:27
Speaker 3: to this Saturday Relationship episode of Amy and DJ. And
12:32
Speaker 3: it's not just about romantic relationships here we talk about
12:35
Speaker 3: on the podcast.
12:35
Speaker 4: It's friendships too, platonic ones. Those are so important.
12:40
Speaker 3: I can't imagine my life without friends, and I know
12:42
Speaker 3: most people feel.
12:43
Speaker 4: The same way.
12:44
Speaker 3: It's the people you turn to and typically you give
12:48
Speaker 3: your deepest, darkest secrets to and they're entrusted with a
12:53
Speaker 3: part of your soul. I think it's such an important
12:55
Speaker 3: part of relationships or just how you go through life
12:58
Speaker 3: is who your friends are.
12:59
Speaker 2: I think that's that's probably something with women when it
13:03
Speaker 2: comes to I mean even relationships, romantic relationships. Right, trusts vulnerability,
13:07
Speaker 2: and you give that over unabashedly to another woman. So
13:12
Speaker 2: when that woman then breaks up with you and she
13:16
Speaker 2: takes all that with her, that stings. It sings sometimes
13:20
Speaker 2: that your spouse doesn't correct and sometimes uses things against you,
13:24
Speaker 2: or it can get ugly, it can get nasty.
13:26
Speaker 4: So how to keep it from doing that?
13:28
Speaker 3: Look, we gave you the warning signs according to experts
13:31
Speaker 3: about when your friendship might need to end, But how
13:34
Speaker 3: do you break up with a friend? I thought this
13:36
Speaker 3: was interesting because I just told you before the break
13:39
Speaker 3: the two that I really remember didn't end with some
13:42
Speaker 3: explosive argument. They just refuse to speak about an issue.
13:47
Speaker 3: So they say, most friendships do not end with a
13:50
Speaker 3: dramatic confrontation or a talk. Most friendships dissolve through gradual fade, less.
13:57
Speaker 4: Contact or just no expectations.
14:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, just goes away. That sounds like a guy thing.
14:03
Speaker 4: There, we just that does. It's called the gradual fade.
14:07
Speaker 2: Okay, it's like sudden foment. Yeah, you just got. It's
14:09
Speaker 2: like ghosting, slow ghosting.
14:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, it's slow ghosting, gradual faide. They say that's
14:15
Speaker 3: appropriate if you had a if it's a newer friendship,
14:18
Speaker 3: if it's a more casual friendship, that happens. I think
14:20
Speaker 3: I've had gradual faids and it was never like I
14:22
Speaker 3: made a decision, it's just what happened.
14:25
Speaker 2: Okay, that's that sounds different to me. That sounds like
14:27
Speaker 2: people just floating apart, drifting apart.
14:30
Speaker 3: A lot of times it's jobs changes or or you
14:33
Speaker 3: move cities and it just whatever. But they say you
14:35
Speaker 3: should and you need mentally, emotionally a conversation.
14:40
Speaker 4: If a long time friend.
14:42
Speaker 3: Or someone who has been extremely close to you that
14:47
Speaker 3: doesn't want to reciprocate or for whatever reason doesn't want
14:49
Speaker 3: to talk, that it's important to try and get that
14:52
Speaker 3: closing conversation, that it does matter, that it does help
14:55
Speaker 3: with with with closure for both sides. And so they say,
15:00
Speaker 3: if both parties agree, the tip is to keep it broad,
15:04
Speaker 3: don't make it personal, don't get into the you did
15:07
Speaker 3: this and you said this and that's why I'm upset.
15:10
Speaker 1: Wait.
15:10
Speaker 2: The suggestion is that an official breakup needs to happen
15:13
Speaker 2: like an official.
15:14
Speaker 3: Yes, but it's the healthy way to do it because
15:16
Speaker 3: at least both parties can leave without this feeling of
15:20
Speaker 3: anger and like you actually can resolve it by keeping
15:23
Speaker 3: it broad. And look, this is hilarious because this is
15:25
Speaker 3: the it's not you, it's me speech. But that is
15:28
Speaker 3: what they suggest. They say that you should keep it broad.
15:31
Speaker 3: Do not get into every grievance, every issue, every pain,
15:34
Speaker 3: everything you're upset about. But to just say, I'm going
15:37
Speaker 3: through some big changes right now and I'm not sure
15:39
Speaker 3: I can be the friend to you that I was before.
15:42
Speaker 1: Stop. Nobody has ever had that conversation.
15:46
Speaker 3: Bro. They said, don't make it about them, make it
15:49
Speaker 3: about what's going on in your life.
15:50
Speaker 2: Okay, fine, I just don't find that to be realistic.
15:53
Speaker 2: And fine, I know they're the experts and this is
15:55
Speaker 2: the way it should go. Yes, have you ever had
15:56
Speaker 2: a conversation like that?
15:58
Speaker 3: No?
15:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, can imagine sending a friend down you know what,
16:02
Speaker 2: I just can't be the friend to you I need.
16:04
Speaker 1: To be, So I just.
16:07
Speaker 4: I don't know how genuine that would feel. That this
16:09
Speaker 4: is what the.
16:10
Speaker 3: Experts suggest, And I understand because if you get it,
16:13
Speaker 3: if you get into every tit for tat. They're just
16:16
Speaker 3: going to argue and they're going to just defend themselves
16:18
Speaker 3: and it's just gonna blow up and it's gonna end back.
16:20
Speaker 1: Do you have to contact that person again? Go on?
16:24
Speaker 1: Everybody's gone on with their lives.
16:26
Speaker 3: What if the person who you don't want to be
16:28
Speaker 3: friends with is constantly texting you and asking you to
16:31
Speaker 3: go out and hang out and you just don't want to,
16:34
Speaker 3: then you might need to have that conversation with them.
16:37
Speaker 1: But what has happened that it's so one sided?
16:40
Speaker 4: I don't know.
16:40
Speaker 2: I thought that was part of the issue. Yeah, somebody
16:42
Speaker 2: is not reaching out, So you're the problem in the relationship.
16:44
Speaker 4: Possibly. I mean, I'm just saying you could be on
16:46
Speaker 4: either side of it.
16:47
Speaker 3: They're just saying a conversation is best, and a broad
16:49
Speaker 3: conversation is the best strategy.
16:54
Speaker 4: You're like, I prefer the gradual fade.
16:56
Speaker 1: It just it's not even gradual. I just I stopped
16:59
Speaker 1: talking to you. We don't, we don't roll.
17:01
Speaker 4: Again, abrupt goodbye.
17:02
Speaker 1: It's just oh, but I don't even think about it
17:04
Speaker 1: being a good.
17:04
Speaker 4: Pri can irish goodbye? It's like you just leave.
17:07
Speaker 2: But there are friends I had at places I used
17:09
Speaker 2: to work when I moved. I know I talked to
17:12
Speaker 2: those people again, but we were friends, we were hanging
17:15
Speaker 2: out together, and just it's I.
17:18
Speaker 4: Mean, yes, that's obviously happened to me too. You know
17:20
Speaker 4: what will happen though.
17:21
Speaker 3: Every now and then on social media, though, you'll get
17:23
Speaker 3: a like, or you'll get a little comment or I'm
17:26
Speaker 3: so bad at looking at my dms, you'll get a
17:27
Speaker 3: DM like it is nice. Sometimes someone will blastem your
17:30
Speaker 3: past ten years ago. You'll get this every now and again.
17:32
Speaker 1: I haven't looked a D five.
17:34
Speaker 4: I know you don't even you don't even look at
17:35
Speaker 4: your texts.
17:35
Speaker 1: I haven't posted in.
17:37
Speaker 3: And it doesn't come from me or Sabine. You're like, yeah,
17:40
Speaker 3: I'm not looking at that pretty much.
17:44
Speaker 2: And Lola, when you all are with me, I don't
17:46
Speaker 2: look at my phone at all. If you want to
17:47
Speaker 2: make sure, you're not gonna get a message to tj
17:50
Speaker 2: Olmes message while his two ladies are with him.
17:53
Speaker 1: There's no reason look at my phone.
17:54
Speaker 4: We're all the friends you need. No, no, you do.
17:56
Speaker 3: You do text back and forth with your boys. I'm abeasing,
17:59
Speaker 3: but no, I I just thought this was really interesting.
18:01
Speaker 3: It's something that most of us, if not all of
18:04
Speaker 3: us listening to this, have gone through. And I just
18:06
Speaker 3: think some of those red flags were really telling. And
18:09
Speaker 3: I especially liked the one that said, it's telling how
18:12
Speaker 3: willing someone is to fight for the relationship. That's like,
18:15
Speaker 3: to me, the biggest acknowledgment about whether or not this
18:19
Speaker 3: is something that you should continue to work on.
18:22
Speaker 2: Where do you fall out so much that you need
18:24
Speaker 2: to end a relationship. I'm saying I don't.
18:27
Speaker 4: It's usually dramatic, right, I haven't.
18:28
Speaker 2: Had Yeah, if something is that big of a deal,
18:31
Speaker 2: these rules don't seem to apply.
18:33
Speaker 4: Yeah.
18:33
Speaker 3: Maybe this is just in general for some of those
18:36
Speaker 3: some of those more casual friendships and relationships, the serious ones.
18:40
Speaker 4: Hopefully you all can talk it.
18:41
Speaker 2: Out serious and casual. All the rules are the same,
18:44
Speaker 2: but we handle them all the same.
18:47
Speaker 4: Way, all right.
18:48
Speaker 3: And with that everyone, we always appreciate you listening to us.
18:51
Speaker 3: I made me, Wroteboch alongside DJ Holmes.
18:53
Speaker 4: We'll talk to you, Sam