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Clarity: The Moment I Finally Chose Myself · No Más Yes Girls

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of No More Yes Girls, where we're your hosts, Vivian and Vinay, talk about our healing journeys.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, another episode.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_03: Hello, so this uh episode we want to start off by talking about and going straight into it.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um and which is clarity.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: I used to think clarity would come, would come to me.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_03: Like one day I just wake up and I would know exactly what to do, like just a clip.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, like everything would feel certain, peaceful, obvious.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: But what I actually learned is that clarity doesn't come when everything is quiet, it actually comes when you finally stop ignoring what you already feel.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yep, that's my take.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and that's so true because clarity is so important when it comes to healing, because you have to be clear of your own emotions, of your own triggers, uh of the your own patterns, and you have to be so clear in make sure that you are not sugarcoating your feelings, yeah.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so when it comes to healing, we have to we have to be aware.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: We talked about awareness last week, we have to be aware of that, and we have to uh understand that in order to let something go, we have to be clear that it is hurting us, it is trauma, it's not just like it's deeper than just the surface level problem.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: I want to add to that, because I mean those are definitely good points too, but I kind of I've been realizing that when I was doing my whole healing journey, I would relate it to avoidance.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um I used to say, Oh, I'm just confused, or or just like I don't know, but mainly I was just confused.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_03: But deep down I knew I wasn't confused.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_03: I knew I knew I just didn't want to accept the truth, yeah.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: Because accepting it to me meant I had to change something, and you know, change is super uncomfortable, like it's it's a lot of work.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: So we just stay in the I don't know phase because it feels safer than making a decision, yeah, and overall clarity requires honesty, and I think that's where the avoidance part comes in.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, because it's hard to be honest, it's hard to be honest even with yourself, yeah.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: Again, like we mentioned the last episode, it's victimizing yourself because that's our safe place, you know, making ourselves uh a victim of of our own reality, yeah, of outgrowing people, setting boundaries, yeah, letting go of what felt familiar, what feels familiar.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so if you if the toxicity feels familiar to you and you're trying to let go of that, it is so hard because that's all you've ever known.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_03: Same thing.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: If um you grew up with unfortunate traumatic events, or grew up in a very loud household, when you um try to let that go or try to become a little different, it's it's nerve-wracking.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's nerve-wracking because you've never been that version of you before.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: So you don't know what's gonna happen, you don't know what's what to expect.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: You're literally going into the unknown and not knowing what the outcome is gonna be.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: And let me just give you a little example of the difference between saying I'm stressed, and and this is because it's more deeper than that, you know.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, just sometimes we do confuse it and say, Oh my god, I'm just so stressed out, I'm overwhelmed.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: But having clarity is recognizing that you actually feel abandoned, and that's why it hurts.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's not just like I mentioned, the surface level, it's deep, it's deeper than that.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: And then I just want to give um some examples of not having clarity and having clarity.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: So without clarity, you're gonna repeat cycles because you're gonna continue doing the same thing over and over and over again because you're not clear and you have not been honest with yourself, right?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: Then also, um you we're gonna try to fix the wrong problem, just like I said, you know, we're I'm stressed and we're thinking, oh, I'm stressed because this, this, this, and that.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: When actually it's deeper than that, right?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: And also we're just trying to find a solution for a surface level solution for a deeper wound.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of like putting a band-aid on without actually having you know to go past that.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: However, when we get to the point of having clarity, we stop we stop blaming ourselves blindly, and we heal from the root, right?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then we can actually make choices that are gonna align with our truth, with who we really are.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: So that's why clarity and healing is so important to know to know ourselves, our triggers, be honest with ourselves, and be able to release everything and be clear of where we're going, what we want.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, going back to continuing choosing yourself, even if it disappoints others, yeah.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: And it's because essentially not having clarity is like trying to find your way in the dark, yeah, yeah, because clarity just turns on the light.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: Have you, sister, had any moments where you'd have to face um and be clear about certain things within you?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, for sure.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um there are many moments leaving leaving my first relationship, which is essentially leading to a divorce and a separation that was not pretty.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: But I had to let that go, even though it disappointed everyone around me or the majority of the people around me, because even though my mind was confused, my body was not, yeah, yeah, my body always, hence my intuition always nudged me, like, okay, we gotta leave, or we gotta make or choose this decision.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um, even though my mind was always so confused, but deep down I knew I knew that it wasn't confusion, that it was the next step I needed to take.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: Now, same thing with my with um leaving my career.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_03: I went to nursing after I ended up um separating.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: I went to nursing school, did nursing for years, and well, before with years, and then I met my now partner, and again, I had the opportunity to move half um halfway across the country.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: And again, my mind was confused because oh my gosh, how am I gonna leave my family?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: I've been helping my family, I've been helping um uh people here around me who need help.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how are they gonna survive without me?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_03: But my body knew down.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_03: My body knew I was supposed to come over here, like it was an instant yes.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: So then when I ended up moving over here, went back, and continued working in nursing, but I had more time to now actually focus on myself, which I've never really done deeper in a deeper level before, until I moved over here.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_03: And that's when I started up with my social media, and I started um I started uh growing, and then to the point again, that decision came.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, it's time for you to leave nursing.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_03: Again, my mind was confused, but deep down I knew it was the decision I'm supposed to take.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: And so on and so forth.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like now I left nursing, I took the leap of faith.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm now doing this um full-time podcasting.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: Again, the decision for podcasting.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_03: Deep down, I knew I was supposed to do podcasting, supposed to do something food related, but I never knew what it was.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_03: But deep down it comes out of me.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and learning again, we're going back to trust, learning to trust the whole process.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Because my mind is confused, my body already knows the answers.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_03: And um then again, it's just it's ultimately God showing me the way.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_03: When I say my body already knows, or my body knows what answers to take, it's essentially God pointing me direction, even though I'm confused as hell.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, why am I supposed to be doing like this?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_03: Just doesn't make sense.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: But it was never to make sense.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's you're you're guided.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_03: I've been guided to be where I'm at now.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: And if I didn't pay attention, um to going through that that clear it.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, let me backtrack.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: Now, after making all of all of those all of those decisions, I look back and it was clear to me that I was supposed to take those decisions because it all leads me to my higher purpose, it all leads me to healing, it all leads me to helping other people or be the change I want to see in everybody else.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_03: So for me, that's that's my clarity.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: Ultimately, all the decisions I've been taking in life since I was since I was able to make decisions on my own have been bringing me to where I'm at now.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, and and now um that you have gone through your healing process, it's essential to now have clarity of where you want to go, what you want to do.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because you need to be clear about it to get there, how you're gonna do it, what you're gonna do.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: So it's not only the clarity from your past, but also to be clear of what you want for your future, yeah, and how you want to live your life.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: Right for me, um it's a little different because for me, I would always put everybody else first.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: So in that aspect, I was, you know, like that that example I gave you, it was, oh, I'm I'm just stressed.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't stressed.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: I had, you know, um abandonment issues, and and that hurt, and I wasn't facing it.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: So uh when I when I cleared that, um when I faced it and was clear that that wasn't actually what I was feeling, and have been facing each and every one of my triggers and each and every one of um my emotions without sugarcoating them.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh now I'm starting to be even more clear.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: Now I know exactly what I want, where I want to go, what I want to do, and what I need to do to get there.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: So that's why it's fundamental to know to be aware of what's happening within within inside you, to be clear in that aspect, but as well be clear of what you want and who you are.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: Now it leads me to what I want and who I want to be.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_03: It's more of a clear, peaceful path, more awareness now.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: But back then, um, I used to wait for clarity before making a move.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: But then that was when my intuition would kick in.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, no, you don't have to wait, you just do.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I think I I picked that up early on.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because I've always been a doer.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: I've always been like, you know what?
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: If it I don't know what's gonna happen, I don't know what what it may result, but I'm gonna give it a shot.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and if it doesn't work out, well, at least I tried.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I'm gonna pivot.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna pivot to something else, or I'm gonna pivot to a different.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: So I've always been that way, yeah.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: And it's it may be like super, it may be uncomfortable for other people because they're were never that way, and it was always like I don't know, I just never really been scared of just giving it a shot.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't matter what it is, and um, but I would burn out of it, I would say I would burn out of it.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: So for me, it was trying to find whatever it is, I give a shot and actually continue working on it because I enjoy doing it, and I've always wanted to find that, find that for me.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: And it wasn't until now, these last two years, I it's been clearer and clearer what I what I want to do.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but yeah, it's it's not confusion, and I used to confuse it a lot, it's not confusion.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I I look at it more like clarity often feels like discomfort at first before it feels like peace.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: So right now I'm feeling more at peace than I was years ago.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: But um it's I'm now seeing the direction that I'm supposed to be going.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_03: Whereas back then it's just like, you know what, I'm just gonna go for it.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_03: Let's see what happens.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: Whereas now I'm more aligned and it's like, okay, this is what I want to do.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_03: How can I get to point A to point to point B with um with alignment?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: Because ultimately I can go out of my way and figure it out.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: But will it fulfill me?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: Will it fulfill with what I'm supposed to be doing?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: So that's where I'm working at to continue having that clarity is okay, continue making decisions that um are alignment with me so I can reach to that next point, yeah.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: And without having to worry as well about the outside noise, yeah, yeah.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: Because you know, you need to have that clarity, okay.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: Am I doing it for me?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: Am I doing it for other other people or to please other people?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: So that's something that you you need to have clear of that it is view, and sometimes it's hard to have that clarity because we've been people pleasing most of our life.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: So you would kind of tend to go that way and be like, oh, okay, you you start you start sugarcoating it.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's because I do want to.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: When deep, deep, deep down inside that is not what you want.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so it so again, that is where being aware um of what's happening inside you comes in.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know, to be clear that, yeah, what are your emotions, your emotions, your triggers?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because it's all we've ever known.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's all we've ever known, and it's hard to open up into accepting different opportunities or or making different decisions because it's out of our comfort zone.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: And we're just so laser focused on no, it has to be only this way and this way only, because that's how we were raised.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: Or that's what's expected of me.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_03: Or no, I just want to make my parents proud, but making your parents proud is people pleasing and only doing it how they want you to do it.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: Or even, and you know what?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: Even that whole, well, I'm doing it because it's gonna give me a better life.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to do this, but it's gonna give me a better life.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna make more money.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna if you're not happy, that's not having things clear.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you have clarity, everything comes to you abundantly, and you're happy and you're living and you're being at peace.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you can have all the money in the world and still be unhappy.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like you can.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: I know so many people who have so much money, and they're not nearly as happy or as peaceful as they thought they were gonna be if they made X amount of money, or have the career that they've always wanted, and it's not what exactly, you know, doesn't make them as happy as they thought it was.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: When in reality, you can reverse that and do what makes you happy, monetize what makes you happy, hence you can monetize your hobbies because they feel the energy of calmness, of peacefulness that it brings you.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: And the moment you start doing that, it's like, oh, you're excited to try new things, or you're excited to continue doing your hobbies, and you're excited to do all of that, and everything will start coming your way.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: And we talked about this on a which episode was it?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um the last two episodes, where it's it hits all aspects of your life, yeah.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_03: Where it's it doesn't matter, like as if you're scared, you're gonna be scared of everything of fear, peacefulness, of um happiness, of money, of abundance in all areas, and it just it goes to show that even if you're scared in one aspect of your life, it actually leads through the rest of the aspects in your life without you knowing or realizing it.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: Again, but once the moment we start seeing or trying to be clear or learning how to be clear of what we want and what we want to do, and being okay that it's gonna cost you, meaning cost you a relationship, cost you the old version of yourself, cost you a di um, cost you a dynamic that you've outgrown.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: It um what you get in return is peace.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: And that peace translates to love, abundance in all areas of your life, money, health, other types of wealth, happiness.
• 22:35
  unknown: Yeah.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: And you know what, going back to how you were saying like um like monetizing hobbies and and things like that, I don't think a lot of people realize that what you love doing not only can you monetize it, but it's a gift.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's your gift.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so why not do it because you love to do it?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's like that saying goes, if you yeah, if you love if you love what you do, you'll never work for one day in your life.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, something like that, right?
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: Something like that, yeah.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: A day in your life, um a day in your life, and that's so true because you don't see it as work because you love doing it, and that it's all in itself is a gift, that's a gift, and why not live doing that and live abundantly and happy and at peace?
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: And again, it doesn't matter what anybody says, we're all different, we all have different gifts, yeah.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: And if you can monetize while you know doing your hobby, why not?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_03: You attract the people who will um see you for your gift, and and they'll even start asking you, like, how did you do that?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_03: How did you do it?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_03: Please teach me, show me your ways, and it's it's just without you asking, like they'll naturally come to you, or they're naturally send you a message, send um ask you how to do a specific thing.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, to be honest, I'm that's where I'm at right now.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: People are asking me to level up some of my like how how to grow on social media.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I've been getting so many messages, so many messages on how I did that.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I eventually want to do it in a way where you can monetize yourself, monetizing your authentic self.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: So stay tuned for more of that later, on, if you're not watching my personal page, and right now I I'm glad that you said that because that's a perfect example of clarity, you're clear of what you want to do, and so you're working your way towards that, yeah.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and another thing is that when you are doing what you love to do and you're happy, people see that.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's just like you know, when you go to the store, I mean, how many times have we gone somewhere to a fast food restaurant or to a store, and people have really bad customer service, and it's not that they have no manners, it's just that they don't not they're not happy with what they what they have, yeah.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's what they're projecting.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, I was that situation, yeah, yeah.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: And so what happens is that at the end of the day, because you're projecting that, that's what you're receiving, you're receiving rude people, people don't want to be around you, people don't want to, you know, have contact with you because they can feel that you you're not content.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: So why not live doing what you love to do happy, abundantly, and attract happy people, people wanting to know wait, hold on, you really love doing this.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what what do you have to offer?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: Show me, let me see.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, clarity is is uh for healing, clarity is um it's is very necessary, you know, to understand your your past emotions, your past triggers, and also to know where you want to go, what you want to do.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_03: That's one thing where um I mean I would I continuously now I would ask myself even more.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_03: But when I first started, when I first started my healing journey, I would think, okay, clarity is the moment you stop asking what will they think.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_03: So I would have to, I literally had to practice on asking what what will they think to start asking what do I need?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because who cares of what they they think?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: Ultimately, you're gonna live miserable if you pay attention to or if you listen to what they have to think, yeah.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_03: So once and that's because they're miserable themselves, yeah, yeah.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: And it and changing it to what do I need?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_03: What do I need to do?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_03: What what is it that makes me in life?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_03: What is it that I love to do, enjoy to do, and ultimately it's all about choosing yourself without needing permission, without over-explaining, without shrinking yourself to others.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's being honest, going back to honesty and and avoiding that avoidance as well.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: No, when you are not sure or confused, just take a step back, a couple of breaths, and ground yourself.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: Go back to within you, you know.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: Take take that time to you know to just take a breather and say, okay, wait a minute, what what is really going on inside of me?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_02: And you'll get your answers.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_02: If you really truly are looking for it, you will get your answers.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, be in stillness, even if it's for a couple minutes.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: Because I know, I mean, including myself.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes uh like I'm just thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking, and I'm over thinking of everything that I need to do, thinking of everything that uh needs to be done, um, thinking of like my my online business and what I need to do, everything that I need to, all the edits, all the videos, and just I'm constantly thinking 24-7.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_03: So the moment um, and and and and life moves fast when you're consistently thinking that way.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_03: So what I started doing is okay, taking at least anywhere from five to 15 minutes a day and just be in stillness, be in oneness, to clear my mind, just take a couple of those deep breaths.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: You can do the whole um, I mean, personally, I like to do deep breathing, deep breathe, deep breathing exercises to just clear my mind and um and literally just bring down the noise because my my brain tends to be very noisy, it very is much so very noisy, yeah.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_03: And be in the now, yeah, and be in the now, and yeah, and that's I mean, up to this date, there's times where I have to remind myself that I need to be present because I'm always thinking ahead and I'm always thinking of everything that needs to be done now in order for me to go ahead or in order for us to go ahead, but I need to catch myself, and I'm consistently catching myself, then I need to stay still for uh even for 15 minutes, five, 10, 15 minutes, and just take a couple of of those deep breaths, and especially when I'm like I'm very indecisive when it comes to a big decision or any decision in um that I need to take, or if I need to pivot in anything, that's where I pay attention the most, and um just be in stillness, be in oneness, and usually God will let me know what needs to be done next, and it can be like the smallest thing, nothing that will yell at you, no, it's usually the smallest, simplest thing as to either write, read a but read a specific book, um, meditate, find a specific routine.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_03: It's nothing, nothing big.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like a lot of people tend to think that it's always like a big life day, life-changing decision when they're meditating or when they're praying or um talking to God per se.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's usually not, it's usually a very small thing, yeah.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and you're right.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think people really understand.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: Let me give a quick example of what it is, and it's not life, like the whole, you know, changing your lifestyle.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't uh I know a lot of people have gone through this.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: If you drive, um you there's times where unconsciously you go into a meditative state.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like, well, you're driving and all of a sudden you get home and you're like, wait, I don't remember if I if the light was green, I don't remember if I did that stop.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: I don't remember how I got home.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: When did I pass this?
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you were in meditative state.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I do that all the time.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: So that so that's what you know, meditation is, you know, with doubtika is clearing your mind, and you know, sometimes you just you're in that we're within yourself, or when you're looking outside in the clouds or the stars, and you're literally just observing nature in general, or the scenery in general, you're taking it in, you're literally clearing your mind.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, usually that's what meditation feels like.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and you don't have to do it out in nature, and you don't have to do it, you know, out just take a moment to even sit down, and when you're having dinner, be in that moment, look around, take in your family, what you're having for dinner, the conversation, just take it in.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: That is being present, right?
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_03: So you're not confused, you're just being called to be honest, and learning to be in the discomfort of avoidance.
• 33:14
  unknown: Yep.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_03: But once you allow yourself to see clearly, everything usually starts to shift.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_03: Again, clarity isn't something you find, it's something you allow.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, very simple.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: Again, all of these are so simple or so easy to say, so easy to talk about, but it's the action that can be the most difficult.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_03: And it's honesty, it's the honesty.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, ultimately, I mean, I wasn't honest with myself for the longest time.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure there's a lot of people who can relate to that.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_03: And it's usually learning to like myself again, learning to accept myself, learning to Yeah, essentially is learning who you really are, and being okay with choosing yourself, and it is not selfish, it's not selfish.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I used to think that way at the very beginning.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how can I how can I say no to my mom or how can I say no to my dad?
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_03: Or how can I say no to my grandparents, um, my my elders, like saying no to them was I would always feel guilty.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_03: I would always feel guilty.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_03: I would always feel like it was selfish because I wasn't raised like that.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_03: I was raised that we have to be available 24-7 for these certain individuals.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_03: And um, or if there was anybody needing help, I had to be available because we were raised that way.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't matter what you were doing, you had to literally drop everything and help whatever it is they needed help with.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_03: And if you didn't help, it was very disrespectful, it was very um selfish, it was rude, and where are my manners?
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_03: When in reality, when in reality, I didn't even know why we were doing it.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I still don't know why we would do it, yeah.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, and most of the time they were very ungrateful, yeah, because it was a you have to type of thing, but if I needed help with anything, oh no, you had to suck it up and figure it out, yeah.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_03: So again, it's and that's where I took it into like, okay, well, if I have to figure it out, well they then they can figure it out.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because yeah, essentially it's kind of like uh you treat people the way you want to be treated.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um but when you're forced to do it, it's different.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's different, and you just kind of have to earn that respect, and you weren't we weren't earning it, we were giving it without earning it.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, or we were giving it and they weren't earning ours.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I guess you could say yeah, so it's and it's and once you go through all of these emotions, because they're all emotions at the end of the day, once you go through all of these different emotions, which is fear, anxiety, um, unhappy guilt, guilt, excuse me, stress, yeah, stress, all of sadness, the overwhelm, anger, like all of these emotions.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_03: When we start going through them one by one and learning to let go of them, not only do you start seeing things differently, but when people start asking for help, it's like, okay, I'll support you, but you're gonna do it yourself.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_03: I can guide you, but you're still gonna do it yourself.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna do it for you.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_03: Because you have to learn to.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_03: And being there in a loving way and learning to do it in a loving way instead of just doing everything for somebody else.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah, I mean, with now, my doors are always open for anybody who wants to come in.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_03: And if there's anybody who genuinely needs help with anything, I'm always gonna be there.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_03: Again, supporting, guiding.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, if it's if it's an experience that I've gone through, if it's something that I've never done, they can call somebody else for that because I'm not, yeah, I'm not gonna do any of that.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like when they come and tell me, oh, well, um, if it's anything kid related, I'm sorry, I don't have the experience.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_03: I don't, because I don't have kids.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, I can guide you to somebody who has kids and they can help you.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um, or I can help you if your kid is sick.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I used to do pediatrics, now, so I I can help you with that, but yeah.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_03: I would I did pediatric nursing for a while, but other than that, like I know, or like when it's something like other decision making, it's like, well, I can help guide you.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_03: I just I'm not gonna give you the answer, and all in a loving way.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like I mentioned, I think I mentioned this in every episode, but it's learning how to get into an unconditional love in a state of unconditional love, yeah, and be non-judgmental, um, and then learning to accept everybody in where they are, not who, not their potential, not their potential, and not who they can be, but where they are.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, again, it's uh don't be confused by it, stop avoiding it.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's better on the other side once you, it's better once you start going through it, getting getting to the other side.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yep, yeah.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_02: Then you're really gonna see things clearly, literally.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_03: And you start again, you start learning what aligns with you and what isn't.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_03: You can pick it, pick it up so seamlessly, so so seamlessly.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, okay, I want to do this, okay.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_03: I align with this decision, I align with this, I align with that.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I'll go for it.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_03: Or if it's like a random decision, like, like, for instance, I'll give you guys an example.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_03: You know how there's I'm going to I'm going on social media here.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_03: So there's this again, I'm new to TikTok.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_03: I just I'm learning TikTok.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I know more about Instagram and somewhat about Facebook, but TikTok was like a whole different algorithm for me.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: So as I'm learning it, I got accepted to do like all of these TikTok shop stuff and got accepted to do like these monet this monetization thing.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_03: You know, on TikTok, there's a lot of people trying to sell you something.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_03: And it's usually okay, they're trying to convince you to buy that product because XYZ.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_03: I've never been a salesperson, person, and I never saw myself really doing that.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_03: But as I look at these videos, I'm like, oh my gosh, this looks so easy.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_03: I can probably even give it a try.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_03: But it just doesn't align with me because it's not my it's not my thing.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like, okay, well, I guess I can give it a shot and um try to sell some things.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_03: But if you look at my Instagram page, I never really talk about selling anything on my Instagram, my my social media pages.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_03: So if I were to start selling products on my TikTok per se, it's just it's just gonna look confused, confusing.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_03: Because, like, wait a minute, why is she selling something when she's posting all about like food or lifestyle or like healing type of content, which is what I absolutely love to do and talk about, but I'm over here trying to sell a product for like$10,$15.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_03: That has nothing to do with what I what I am, so it's not gonna go well for me because I'm not aligned to that.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_03: Because to me, my mind, my mind is like, oh, that looks easy.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_03: I can definitely do it 100%.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_03: But my body is like, no, that's not you.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna burn out, you're gonna stress out, you're gonna um have to create all of these videos, and you're gonna have to um um continuous, continuously be on a trend because all of these products are trend bases, and it's like, yeah, you're right.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not, I'm already I'm already tensed up, but just thinking about that.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and usually for me, that's my cue that it's not a line.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_03: And it's not a line, yeah, it's not for you.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: So anyway, I probably just went off a no, no, no, no.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_02: But it but but it's a good example of of you know, again, the clarity that you have doesn't align with you and you're clear about that, you know.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so even though there's things that may look very simple, chances are it's probably something that you will not align with.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_03: Even though it looks very simple to do.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_03: And if you do do it, you're gonna get burnt out.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna get burnt out, you're gonna get stressed, you're gonna get um overwhelmed, you're gonna feel guilty probably after trying to leave it because now you realized that it's was not for you.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_03: So anyway, I thought it was a different type of example.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, but it it's a good, like I said, it's a good um clear example, or it's a good example of your your clarity.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, what aligns with you and what you're what you what's right for you, right?
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because you're right.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, in TikTok, you do see a lot of people that has nothing to do with their niche, but yet, you know, they're they're offering all this stuff, they're selling all this stuff that has nothing to do with them.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and that works for them, and that's great too, because that's you know, for them that works.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_02: But this doesn't align with you, and it's a great example of you not wanting to do the same thing as everybody else just because it monetizes.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you're just being authentic and and you're just going with what comes from within you, and again, you are clear about that.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_02: So it is, it is a great, a great example, sister.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_03: I said it's it's um so now I have like free products that they send me, and it's like, well, I'm not even gonna post any of these videos because it doesn't yeah, well, you can send it over here.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not quite there yet, but yeah, once you get clear about yourself, everything starts aligning to you.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_03: Once you get clear about yourself and what you want to do, all of these opportunities start coming your way.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_03: Once you get clear about yourself, you figure out how you want to live your life, yeah.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_02: And once you get clear about yourself, you begin to heal.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, very, very interesting topic.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_03: And if not, it's gonna force you, it's gonna force you to do something that you never expected or experience, and when you go through it, you're gonna be like it's it's a forceful thing.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, instead of just doing it now, since you are getting some of that clarity in and just going for it, healing, healing all the emotions, or life will force you to do it, yeah, in a very unwilling way.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yep, that's true.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_03: But as always, thank you to each and every one of you who listen to our podcast or YouTube, um, on whichever platform you listen to.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you to each and every one of the followers on social media, on all our social medias, on all our platforms.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we appreciate each and every one of you as always.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_03: I know we say this in every episode, but it's it's so motivating for us to continue.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_03: And um, and really showing you something that really helped us change for the better.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_03: And we just want to show everybody else that there's other options, there's other other ways of living, other ways of having peace in your life, love in your life, wealth in your life.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's just so it's an amazing experience.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_03: And we just want to share that.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_03: And hopefully this resonates with you guys.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_03: Hopefully, it brings you guys something to think about.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um, if you haven't done so already, please follow us on all our social medias.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_03: Subscribe to our channel, to our podcasts.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, we also have a free community membership on our Facebook, which I have everything linked down below.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_03: We'll see you guys on the other side.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_03: Sending so much light and love your guys' way.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_03: Until next time.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_03: Bye.