Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Penny for Your Thoughts

Transcript

The Fifth Hour: Penny for Your Thoughts · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kabbooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Maler and Danny G Radio who will join us at
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: some point over the weekend. Well, my marketing campaign has
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: paid off. We have gotten you to show up here
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: to this edition, a special spicy edition of The Fifth
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Hour as we kick off the weekend. If you're new
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: here and you heard me blatantly promoting over the top
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: promotion on the Overnight Show, which we just ended a
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: few hours ago, thank you, Thank you for being here.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: We do this podcast every weekend, myself and Danny G.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: Danny normally joins me on Saturday and Sunday and sometimes
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: on Friday, but it's just me here as we kick
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: off the month of August. So the big reveal we
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: are moments away from the big reveal on the edition
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: of the Fifth Hour we have this edition, we have
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: the penny has dropped and the Great key Lime Caper,
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: among other things. But we'll focus on that and let's
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: get the party started.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Don't waste what are you doing? Bet? You made me
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: come to this dumb podcast. I don't want to be
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: here all right. Listen.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: After months of chatter among the mal Or militia, so
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: many of you have sent me emails. We only have
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: read a few of them on this podcast and on
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: the radio show. I've gotten heartfelt letters, people that love
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: Benny versus the penny.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: There have been social media.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Posts, all of the good vibrations, all of them. Well, today,
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: today is the day the cat is out of the bag.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: You have come to the right place.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: We have saved this announcement for here on the Fifth
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Hour podcast because this news is so important, right, so
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: crucial that we want the hardcore p ones who are
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: the foundation, the salt of the Earth and the Mala
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: militia to hear it directly from us, not just in
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: a short radio segment. We have a lot more time
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: here on the podcast format.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Now. It also does not hurt.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie to artificially boost the downloads on
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: the Fifth Hour podcast.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Man, Hey, full transparency, kids.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: We got a podcast to do every weekend, and if
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna do it, we might as well drive people
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: to the podcast. Now, regardless of that, the news is real.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: Our long national nightmare is over. The decision has been
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: made on the future of Benny Versus The Penny on
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: television in twenty twenty five, after all this time.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: So let's make it some fun, right, let's make it fun.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: We'll have multiple choice and I'll give you three options. A,
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  Speaker 3: Option A and B. C picked up season three. We
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: are back baby later this month here in August, with
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: a full season all the way through the Super Bowl
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: in February. We'll have a preview show at the end
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: of August, the kickoff here in early September, and that
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: is just going to be amazing.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Now.
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  Speaker 3: Option B the show was canceled. We were dumped by NBC.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Option C none of the above, all right, So those
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: are the options.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: You got it. A. NBC picked up season three. We're
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: back later this month. B the show was rudely canceled.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: CEE none of the above, some other option right, Danny
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: G can you give me a drum roll, please go,
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: I need a drum roll, please all right, Reveal answers,
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Reveal answers. Now, if you picked option A, you're a dreamer,
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: a lovely loser. God bless you, because the correct answer
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: is b. We have been put on waivers designated for assignment.
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  Speaker 1: Oh oh, NBC will.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Not will not be bringing back Benny Versus the Penny
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: for season three. You kill that now before you q
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: the sad trombone and activate an insurgency with the foot
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: Soldiers and the Mallord Militia. Let me stop you right now.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: This is not a sad day. It is not seriously,
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: and I'm not blowing smoke here. I am Benny Brightside
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  Speaker 3: on this one absolutely now. I found out this news
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  Speaker 3: a little earlier in the week. It was not the
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: news I was hoping for about getting poll acts from
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: the TV show. But I've had time to process it,
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: I've had time to reflect, and I feel nothing but gratitude.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: I got yeah to share that with you. Working on
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: Benny Versus the Penny with John, Kevin, Vinnie, the Ride
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: and Die team on that TV show was like breathing
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: in a breath of fresh air in a very stale
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: media world. I've heard over hers teamwork makes the dream work,
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: and these cats were pros, pros, detail freaks, meticulous, obsessed
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: with producing a quality show. They worked tremendously hard, They
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: stayed late, they cared. It wasn't just a cheeseball weekend
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: gambling show. It mattered right, and that was very important.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: As you might imagine. You don't need to tell you that,
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: but you.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Have to understand how much that meant to me. Right.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Contrast that with much of my radio career as an adult,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: where and I love radio, I'm not. I love the business,
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: but for better or worse, I've often been surrounded by
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: people that don't have that. I've been a one man band,
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: surrounded by folks who treat the job like it's the
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: d and first one out of the building, last one
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  Speaker 3: in the antithesis of what we hear here with NFL
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: training camps going on, where every quarterback's got to be
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: the first one in, last one out. Well, and in
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  Speaker 3: my experience working with a lot of people over the
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: years in radio, many of them have been first one
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  Speaker 3: out of the building, last one in. So as a result,
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: I've felt like the onus has been on me, I've
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: had to overprepare just to carry the load. Not that
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't have done that, a lot of that anyway.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: So this TV experience this.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Time was just different.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: It was energizing, right, It was really cool and of
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: course a massive thank you to Bill Brighton.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: You might not know who that is.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: If you're not in television or media, you may not
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: know his name. However, he is the big cheese over
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: at NBC who believed in the gas bag you're listening
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: to right now when few others would. He had been
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: a listener to the Overnight Show as he was working
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: his way up the television business over the years, and
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: he had reached out to me and said, hey, Ben,
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: I want to work with you.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I want to get you a TV show.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: And I of course, immediately my kneesk reaction is, oh, yeah, right,
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: you know I'm getting punked here, and you're not gonna
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: give me a TV show.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I'm doing an overnight radio show. I'm gonna get in
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  Speaker 1: a TV show.
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  Speaker 3: You're gonna put a guy with a face for radio
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  Speaker 3: on the National Broadcasting Company platform?
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Come on? Yeah? Right?
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: And anyway, but he was a man of his word, Bill,
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: and he has been nothing but kind to me and
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: my wife, very generous and just just great.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: It was surreal.
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  Speaker 3: It really truly was surreal to do a TV show
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: from a studio at Universal Studios in Hollywood, a place
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  Speaker 3: that I went as a kid. Remember I had a
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: meltdown on a tour when I was a little.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Kid at a FAM reunion.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: I've been there many times of the years, just as
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: a tourist with people out of town, and to walk
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: the famous back lot and to not get arrested for
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: trespassing because I actually I had access to it. I
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  Speaker 3: was allowed to be there, I believe long there to
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  Speaker 3: be in the mix where so many great movies in
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  Speaker 3: the heyday of Hollywood were made and TV shows and
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: iconic bigger than life celebrities worked And here I am,
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  Speaker 3: my fat ass is walking around there and it was
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: just just awesome to walk around the sets and to
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: get the vibe. And sometimes they'd be shooting movies there
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: and we'd walk through it and they didn't you know,
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: they didn't care, and it was wonderful. And then another
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: experience that I've had the last couple of years to
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: see my ugly face promoting Benny versus the Penny On
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: a random Friday night Celtics game on NBC Sports Boston.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: They had a little graphic my face would pop up
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: and then they said, coming up after the Celtic game,
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: after postgame, it's Benny versus the Penny, or you're doing
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: a Golden State Warrior game, or if it was early
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: in the football season the Giants San Francisco Giants broadcast,
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: or the old Oakland A's.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: In the Bay Area.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: It was mind blowing, it really was, right. It was
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: a huge ego boost. It was stupefying all that stuff,
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: and we got cleared in every major media market in
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: law in America. I mean, we were in Los Angeles
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: that we do the show from LA We were on
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: the Lakers station and they they had very little programming,
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: so they aired it like four or five times a
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: day on the weekends. We were in Chicago. I got
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: to text my cousins in Chicago say, hey, you got
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: to turn on the NBC Sports station, which no longer
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: is there, but at the time it was, and so
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: that was kind of cool. And my brother, who you
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: know in New York, who knows nothing, not a sports
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: guy at all, And my brother's like, hey, I was
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: at some pub in Manhattan and they had had sny
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: on and the show was on there.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: At this pub, and so that was cool.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: And then this last year we went on Peacock, which
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: opened it up to a lot of you that did
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: not get cable television anymore. So that was neat. So
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: the point is we were not just playing for the
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Mallard Militia. Not that I don't love playing for the
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: Mallard Militia.
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  Speaker 1: I love it.
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  Speaker 3: You know, it's great, It's wonderful, right, It was a
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  Speaker 3: wonderful thing that we have. We've got a good community
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: in the Mallard Militia, and you guys have been wonderful
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: and continue to be wonderful. The TV show gave us
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: a bigger audience, right, It's like off Broadway versus Broadway.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: We had a larger stage, bigger crowds. We got to
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: grow the brand a little bit. And I would be remiss.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: I also I don't do shout outs on radio. This
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: is a podcast, but a tremendous shout out to my
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: on air double play partner, the one and Only Television's
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Tom Looney, my comrade, the Yin to my Yang, the
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: peanut Butter to my jelly. That sounds kind of weird,
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: tastes like a touchdown in your mouth.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: How dare you? But I know I've always worked very
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: well with Looney.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: I thought of all the people I've done shows with
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: over the years, the Blitz that myself and Looney did
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: many years ago. It was the greatest weekend show Fox
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: Sports Radio has I ever had. Management did not agree.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: But we just play well off each other. We have
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: this good camaraderie. I don't believe in chemistry, but we
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: just we get each other's vibe. He brought the drama,
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: the fire, the flare, the razzle, dazzle, and I played
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: off that, and then I would throw fire in his face.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: And I have fond memories already, even though we'll be
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: doing more of these, I'm sure in the future.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: But the table reads at seven am at Universal Studios,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: right across the hall from the studio where the stuff
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: of legend as we would do the dry run on
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: the show, and the little cubby hole studio with a
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: couple of chairs, a green screen at the camera, and
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: the couple of people behind the scenes there who made
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: that happen, and so it was all dream like.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: So this chapter has ended.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Benny Versus the Penny on NBC has ended, as I
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: learned from one of my great heroes as a child,
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: when I was a little boy growing up. I don't
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: know if you are familiar with the work of doctor Seuss,
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: but doctor Seuss taught me not only greed, eggs and
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: ham sam I am. Doctor Seuss also taught me that.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: And yes I'm using a doctor SEUs quote on this podcast.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened. And
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: that is my position. Oh Ben, you're going soft here, man,
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: No I'm not.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Now that said, this chapter may not be over. Like,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: we've already got some feelers out there's some interest that's
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: been bubbling up here there.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: There will be more Benny Versus the Penny.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: That's why I'm not really all that upset, because I've
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: done Benny Versus the Penny for a long time on radio,
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: and I moved it to this podcast for a couple
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: of years with Danny g and we did it on
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: YouTube with Gascon for a period of time. It's now
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: been on television for a couple of years. So it's
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: just not gonna be on NBC for now.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: And who knows.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: Maybe down the line they'll come back to us and say, hey,
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: we like the show, we want to get it back. Now,
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: as to the nitty gritty on this fifth hour, the
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: question of why so, I'm going to try to be
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: proactive here, and the reason I want to be proactive
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: is because I just don't want to deal with the
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: nonsense of the email. I normally get a lot of
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: email on this. You guys have been great, and you're
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: like anything.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I knew what happened, so why was it canceled? Now?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: You gotta understand, in the media business, you never really
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: really know. There's always extenuating circumstances.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: However, I will tell you the people that I've dealt
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: with at the network have been wonderful. Right, and this
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: guy John, who's a Hall of Famer in Philadelphia produced
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: Phillies games with Harry Callous, just a great dude, seasoned
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: media guy oozes Philadelphia.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: So John.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Had been very transparent, and I believe he wasn't blowing
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: any smoke or anything like that. Really do appreciate it.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: This was not as I understand it. It was not
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: because the ratings. It wasn't as no one was watching.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: We actually did well from Again, this is what I've
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: been told from some of the people that worked on
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: the show. We had some solid numbers in key demos
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: in certainly in Boston. There were some weeks that we
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: did really really well, like top three in the market,
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: which is great. However, you go understand, gambling is still
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: the wild wild West on television. It's a very dicey
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: ad market. A lot of advertisers don't want to be
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: involved in gambling because, let's face it, people lose money gambling, right,
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: That's what happens, and very conservative buyers. There's limited options,
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: there's limited inventory, and that's just the way it is.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: I wish it was different, but that's the landscape. And
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: a lot of the gambling market, as I've been told,
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: has matured, which means they don't spend as much money
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: because they've got a good grip on it. So you
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: need more gambling markets to open up.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Now. There will be another gold rush, and I hope that.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: I'm still doing Benny versus the Penny when California, If
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: the lunatics in California allows sports gambling, that will be
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: a massive gold rush. There'll be a lot of money there,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: a lot of money to be made, but to take
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: you behind the scenes. So NBC has had been keeping
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: me and Tom Looney updated the original deadline. It was
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: kind of vague on the radio show, but the original
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: deadline was July first. Now we obviously blew way past July,
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: for we're in August now and as recently as last Friday.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: So the last Friday in July, I was under the
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: belief that we had a deal. We had the framework,
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: the outline, the blueprint for season three. We had found
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: a title sponsor, we were actually going to be on
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: more affiliates than last year, that we were going to
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: cross over to some other channels that we weren't even
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: on in other markets. So I went to bed on
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: Friday night thinking that we were pretty much said to
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: the point where we had the schedule, and I was
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: looking at airfare on when to fly back to Boston
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: to film at NBC Sports Boston, when to film the
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: promotion for the TV show, And then, like a summer
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: storm in the desert, somehow between Friday and then Tuesday,
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: it all vanished. It turned to dust and that show business, right,
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: that show business. So this was actually my second run
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: at NBC. You might remember the old NBC Sports network,
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: You probably don't.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Not a lot of.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: People watched it, so yeah, that folded also, So I'm
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: batting a zero point zero zero at NBC. But you know,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: you know what they say, when one door closes, another
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: one opens. Now sometimes sometimes there's a long hallway in between.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: So we've got big plans for that hallway. Sunny days,
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: sunny days ahead. And to everyone who watched, who supported,
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: who promoted, who messaged other people to get them to watch,
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: or even those of you that are just haters and
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: ballbusters and you thought this was the dumbest show in
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: the world and you sent nasty messages from Afar, thank you.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: You were all part of the ride.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: You were all part of the journey and a great
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: chapter in my media career.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: And no matter what happens, I've got that in my
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: back pocket. So it's not over.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: And it's pretty late in the game this year. The
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: football season began last night kind of with the Fugeese
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: exhibition season, So we'll see what happens.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: But the penny has not flipped its last pick yet.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: And I was talking to Tom and we've we've got some.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Logs on the.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: Fire and we'll see there's also the possibility that we
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: bring Benny Versus the Penny to a podcast format like this.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: There's other streaming services there's available. There's been some.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: Talk of Patreon as well. There's a lot of options
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: out there. So we will, we will have it for you,
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: and we'll let you know. Obviously we want you to listen.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: So again, thank you. Not a sad day. Not a
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: sad day, it's a it's a pivot point. We will
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: return with another season of Benny Versus the Penny. Unfortunately,
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: will just not be with our friends over at NBC,
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: So turning the page on that. And this is very
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: random and sometimes the stars just aligned. But today is
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: National Homemade Pie Day.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: The only reason I bring that up is because I
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: have a pie store, right and I'll give you that
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: story in a minute, But first, in honor of alf
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: the Alien, O Pinter and Ferg Dog and mister nice
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: Guy and all you knuckleheads.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Fun facts about pie. Yeah, I've got fun facts about pie.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: Is it true that the ancient Egyptians are the earliest
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: known civilization to have had a pie dish?
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: I'm nodding my head, yes. Now.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: It typically consisted from a deep dive on this. It
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: consisted of a crust made from wheat, oats, rye or barley,
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: and it was filled with honey.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: That sounds kind of like a granola bar, doesn't that
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: wheat oat honey? Isn't that a granola bar? Now?
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: The ancient Greeks and Romans also had pastries similar to
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: what is known as today modern day pie. For example,
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: and for reference, the Romans often coated meat with a
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: pastry made out of flour, oil, and water. However, however,
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: the dough was only intended to help preserve the meat.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: They didn't have refrigerators and things like that, not to
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: be eaten as a meal. So there's a Roman cookbook
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: that dates back to the first century that it was
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: discovered to contain recipes similar to pie cases, so is
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: that And then Terry and England or in Great Britain,
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: pies were mainly used as a covering to preserve meat also,
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: but that was when they were exploring the world the
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: long sea voyages, and fresh meat could not be obtained.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: You can't really go hunting when you're in the middle
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: of the Atlantic Ocean. And during medieval times the pies
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: became more elaborate. The cooks tried out do each other. Allegedly,
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: they had grand banquets. It was all about the presentation,
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: and the pie was often the centerpiece. Now, one of
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: the interesting things of note here in.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: The pie world.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: It wasn't until the fifteenth century when pies usually only
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: contained meat or fish, but they became more of what
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: we have today with fruit. They had custard pies, and
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: it has been said that the very first pie was
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: baked for Queen Elizabeth the First and that was during
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: the sixteenth century about that. And then when the English
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: settled to America, they brought the pie. And the early
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: pies they brought were thick, heavy crust or a rigid flour.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: And shortly after that it became a trademark of America. Right,
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: And we know it was a big jumping off point
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: was in World War two, right they said, soldiers were
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: asked why they were going off to war and they said,
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: for mom and apple pie.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: And now now to the great key Lime Caper, the
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: great key Lime Caper.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: So let me tell you something about key lime pie.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Now I've learned this over the last year. It's not
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: just dessert. It's not now in Florida, it's some ways currency.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: Some would call it a religion. In parts of Florida,
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: it's diplomacy. Now, if you grow up in California, you
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: probably love tacos and in and out Burger. My Guy
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: sports with Coleman. He didn't grow up. He's from Atlanta,
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: but he lived in Maryland so long. I would probably
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: say crap cakes are sacred. If you're from the Northeast
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: in Boston, you love the maybe you love the Canole's right, Texas,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: it's you deep fry everything you call it, call it
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: a miracle. Everything's deep fried. In Cansa City, it's Ben
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: Mallard chicken fingers and barbecue brisket. But in Florida, you
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: gotta have some respect, put some respect on the pie.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: So I bring this up because p one listener Bobby
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: from the Sunshine State, who apparently moonlights as both a
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: pastry ambassador and a pie whisper in his spare time.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: He has been very generous.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: He shipped off a coconut flavored key lime pie from
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: the Tropics to the main land. Now, I I did
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: not realize that there was even a coconut flavor key
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: lime pie. The only coconut I really eat. Is like
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: the Almond Joy candy bar, which was always the last
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: one in the.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: Bag on Halloween.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: So anyway, this pie arrived, and you don't ask questions,
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: You thank the pie gods. You split it evenly among friends,
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: You treat it with reverence as the pie deserves.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: Which brings us to the caper.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: So imagine the three musketeers, myself, Loreina, and Coop.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: There's one pie.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: So we have to divide the pie evenly, like ancient
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: treasure after a fierce battle.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: You got to divide what you've got. So I took
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: my slice, a very generous wedge. That still didn't feel
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: like enough, because you know, my name's on the show.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: But it was. It was fine. It was a big
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: piece of pie.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: And I had the pie given to me by Lorena,
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: and she placed it on a party size paper plate,
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: you know, those flimsy, flimsy plates, and so it very
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: flims treacherous vessel, if you will, unworthy of the prestigious
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: cargo that that pie was that it carried.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: And so but I had to be ready, right.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: We had a long journey from the studio back to
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: the Malor mansion in the north Woods. Now, logically, one
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: would think that you just seat belt the pie in
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: you let it ride shotgun like a proper co pilot,
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: and you're fine. But no, because I live in a
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: fantasy world where highways stay open.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: At night, and normally they do for me. I work
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: the overnight shift. I'm driving when most people are still sleeping,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: So I just assume the traffic's going to part like
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: the Red Sea, and construction zones will not materialize like
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Poultergeist from the Underworld. Then I'll be fine.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: So for the first i'd say twenty five percent, first
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: quarter or so of the journey with the Pie, it
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: was on the seat next to me. It was exactly
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: like the pie gods had ordained.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: It was very smooth. Wasn't a lot of traffic. I
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: had the cruise control on.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: I was listening to some classic AM radio old school
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: buzzing softly in the background. I could practically taste that
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: delicious gram cracker crust, the whipped cream topping on top
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: of the key lime pie.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: And then the.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: Unexpected plot twist, the dreaded detour slow for the cone zone,
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: flashing lights. Right now, there was a parade as far
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: as I could see of tail lights, and I saw
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: a bunch of big rigs. I saw construction, some guy
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: probably named Carl, Probably named Carl, He.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Had one of those reflective vest things on. He was waving.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: Traffic off to the surface street purgatory. So my plan
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: went up in smoke. Suddenly I am now Magellan Mallar
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: with Apple Matt. I am navigating uncharted urban terrain in
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: a CD part of town. They say nothing good happens
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: after a certain hour, and I was out at that hour. Now,
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: more importantly, I'm driving around and every turn I make,
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: every turn is putting that delicious pie in danger of
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: becoming roadkill. See, I can understand I had no choice.
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: I at that point became the pie sentinel. I made
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: a decision that I had to protect the pie.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: So my right hand.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: My right hand was getting a workout, was not getting
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: a workout. My right hand extended and I gripped that
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: flimsy plate, and I became Lady Liberty. I gripped it
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: like the statue of Liberty torch. Now my left hand
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: was steering the ship through turns.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Right turn here, left turn there, red light here, yellow
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: light there, pothole to the side.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: All of this while I'm praying, if you will, I
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: don't know if that's the right word to the dessert gods.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: Please just get this thing home in one piece. I
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: do not want to lose this pie. So we often
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: hear people talk about multitasking, and I kind of rolled
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: my eyes. I'm like, please, try holding a flimsy plate,
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: wobbly plate with creamy coconut flavored. It was like a
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: coconut flavored missile in the palm of your hand while
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: cornering at twenty five miles an hour or more up
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: to forty, you know, try making a left turn with
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: one arm while mentally calculating the aerodynamics of what would
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: happen to that whip topping on top of the So
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: this was in many ways a symbiotic relationship.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: At that moment, I became one with the pie.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: And by mile nineteen on my journey, I was sweating
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: like I had just run the Boston Marathon, and I
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: was wearing a parka. While I was doing my right
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: arm was locked in position like the old days when
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: you used to have to hail a cab if you're
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: old enough to know what that was like. But I
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: was trying to hail a cab for an hour straight,
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: and I swear to you, and I'm not just talking
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: out of my took us.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Here.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: I could feel the pie breathing, like the pie in
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: my head, the cartoon bubble of my head. Don't look
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: at me like that alf and fer dog in my head.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: The pie knew what was on the line here. The
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: pie knew the steaks here if something went wrong, and
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: it turned out, there was a great pie miracle.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: That pie survived. Not a smear of whipped.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: Cream or key lime on the upholstery, not a not
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: a droplet of anything from the crust. Nothing was displaced,
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: no casualties, no cleanup, no ruined upholstery.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: It reached the Malor.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Mansion intact, untouched. And then, to quote one of the
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: great characters in the history of Hollywood from the Austin
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: Powers franchise, Fat Bastard, I said to that pie, get
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: in my belly, is what I said. And I devoured
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: that thing like I hadn't eaten in weeks. It was sweet,
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: it was tangy, it was everything. The crust had the
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: integrity that I was looking for. The filling was a
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: citrus symphony, and while not as good, not as good
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: as the original of the strawberry because of the intense
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: coconut flavor, it was still delectable. So I wanted to
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: write a thank you letter to Bobby and maybe we
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: should nominate his pie generosity for the No Peace Prize
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: in the Mall of Militia. Instead, I said, well, you know,
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: I don't really have his email, so I'll just tell
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: the story right here on the podcast. So what is
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: the point of all this? Get to the point please, Well,
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: it's simple. There are moments in the road of life
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: where you're tested.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: Said, well, this is not a test, but a test
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: is when you lose your job or a test, is it?
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: No, this was a test, right, and it wasn't a
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: huge test, but you're asked to call to rise above.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: There some men that carry torches, some men carry flags,
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: and then there's some in the middle of the night
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: that carry a coconut key lime pie down fifty miles
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: of asphalt just to bring sweetness home. So God bless you, Bobby,
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: and thank you so much. God blessed that pie lived
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: a good life. And hey, my arm got a nice workout,
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: my arch outstretched right arm.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: That kept that pile. All right, we'll get out on that.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: We'll have new podcasts all weekend, including a Malor Mover
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: Malor movie review. Easy for me to say, Malor movie review.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: We will get to all of that as we go
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: through the weekend. Danny should be with me on the
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: Saturday and Sunday Mailbag podcast. If you do want a
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: Sunday letter in for the mail bag, you can do that,
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: but you should probably do it by probably this afternoon.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: I would say Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: You can join legends like Man Ryan from Shrewsbury and
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Barry from South Carolina and Ferg Dog and mister Irrigation
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: and so many other legends that are regular Reggie from
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: Detroit who are part of.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: That mail bag.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: So Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. Have a
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: wonderful rest of your Friday and we will yap at
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: you tomorrow as the podcast does not stop later Skater,
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: Oh wait, Danny, you want me to say? Oh, that's right,
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: Austa Pasta.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: That's a Danny Lion, That's a Danny g Lion. I
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: said it. It's the why are you still listening? The
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: podcast is over. There's nothing else. It's over come on