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#78 Therapists Confess: What We Were Really Like in College · College Is Fine, Everything's Fine

Therapists Confess[00:00:00] <h1>INTRO - DESCRIBE EPISODE, NOTE ANONYMOUS SO GOT THE REAL TRUTH, </h1> All right. Well, what do I press? Anything? Yeah, you just have to No, you just hold it up to your mouth. Like really? Like, like you're making out with itlet's get going here. Let's get down to business testing. Testing therapists, confess their deepest, darkest secret.Not like suspended in high school . It's like I got suspended in high school too. Yeah. For drinking on a school journalism trip,Who made some mistakes in college? Come on. Oh, I, I'm sure I did. Um, getting blackout drunk multiple times. Uh, I did not say that one. Hooking up with the wrong people and just going with it. Yes. Yes. Getting to not enjoying a hookup. No. And getting to know who you are and what works for you. Like, yes. Yeah.[00:01:00] <h1>WEIRDEST ROOMMATE EXPERIENCE</h1>. What's, what's one of your weirder room? Experiences that you had or were Were you the weird one? I was not the weird one, I'm never the weird one.So my roommate was in the vet school at Cornell, which is a very prestigious veterinary school, but she often smelled like farm animals. Ooh. So there was a lot of farm animals stench in my room. 'cause she would come home from a long night.I'm so sorry. It was fine. How did you manage candles? Mindfulness. Mindfulness. Mindfulness of the smell? No, only please just let it. Let it be. Just let the smell be. I was just. Just observing and [00:02:00] describing,<h1>Marker - Mistake you think every college student should make? / HAPPY MISTAKE</h1>Was there any big mess up or some might say fuck up that you have in college that you can remember so that our college students who are listening feel like one day they can also be a successful person even if they really mess things up.I definitely did not have the grades in my psychology classes that I needed to. Or the GRE scores that I needed to, and I actually had, I wouldn't say this was like a big fuck up, but I had a psychology professor tell me that I should not pursue a career, should not pursue a PhD because I did not have the grades or the scores and I just had to do my own research and figure it out.Alright, I like it. I'm glad you didn't listen.A happy mistake. Sure. What's a happy mistake? Um, make friends early, but don't be afraid to [00:03:00] change your group of friends if it doesn't feel like the right fit.Because I think it's good to feel connected to people right away. Otherwise it's really isolating and scary. But don't feel like it has to be your friends forever. Right. You can readjust as needed. Did you have some oops, friends that you had? I had a couple of, oops friends. Oops. We quickly, we quickly fixed that though.What? We quickly fixed it. We quickly fixed it.Well. This may not be necessarily the coolest mistake that you could make, but really working hard and doing very poorly on an exam, I think is a great experience for people to have. I think it's humbling. You can go learn to talk to your professor and advocate for yourself, and honestly, I think it's just something we should all experience before we get out in the real world.So we're a little bit more resilient. [00:04:00] Great answer.<h1>/</h1>What's a mistake you made in college that you feel like was a happy mistake? A hot. Looking back, maybe at the time it didn't feel like that a happy mistake. I mean, I'm thinking of freshman year and, okay, so I, I did, was not particularly close with my roommate, but also, uh, I did not have the best habits as a roommate.Oh, you were the creepy roommate. I was not creepy, but this is embarrassing. I like was not very good at putting away my stuff, uhhuh. And so my floor was covered with stuff at one, which. Is not, I know it doesn't make sense. She's getting hazed right now by the psychologist here. Um, and I had to have a friend come over and, and, and clean it all up.And, and then I did learn. I'm actually really neat and organized now, but I feel like that was actually a good learning. Someone was just like, when you had to bring in reinforcement, pick [00:05:00] out your, yeah. So that was a mistake. It's like, well, sometimes you're gonna have to learn things the hard way. Right?Like, if, I don't know. Yeah. You're like, you're, you're, everything was done for you before and then you get to be messed. And you know, you leave your laundry in the laundry room and you forget it and then you're like, oh no, I need to go do that. It's my job. Yeah. <h1>Marker - WHAT WAS ONE SKILL YOU NEEDED IN COLLEGE BUT DIDN'T HAVE?</h1>Okay. Hey, you're thinking back to your college self. What's the one skill that you really needed then that you didn't have? Mindfulness and why? Because it was the best warrior of my life, and I just let it go by without really being present. I was focused on my future, how I could become a psychologist as quickly as possible, and I should have just leaned into the fun.I had fun, but I should have been more aware of my fun. I would pick a distress tolerance skill. Yeah. Uh, I'm thinking the tip skill, because that's my favorite period. Mm-hmm. Um, that's where the, like the breakup, the guys. Not [00:06:00] calling you back the mm-hmm.Bad night out, you know? Right. Whatever it is. Tip it's like big oops moments or like Yep. Big moments. You kind of like wanna hide in your, in your dorm. <h1>Marker - One skill you always teach but don't always practice?</h1>I wanna ask you, what is the one skill that you teach that you don't actually use yourself? I think that I teach a lot of distress tolerance and mindfulness, and I find it really hard to use with my family.I preach. About pausing and taking a deep breath and not reacting, and I find it really hard What's a skill that you teach your clients but you don't practice what you preach?Um, gratitude. Tell me more. Um, it's wonderful to take stock of the things that are going well, and we often focus on the things that are [00:07:00] not. Going well, and I don't do enough of that.What's a skill you teach to your client? But you don't really use yourself. Oh, my voice.It's a work in progress.It's, it's the skill I mentioned before. Or also the tip skill. Yeah. It's funny how our favorites are the ones never teach. It's my absolute favorite, but I, I don't ever use it. I think we're having a theme here.<h1>ANY REGRETS?</h1>So what is something you regret not doing more of? Is there something you feel like, I wish I had done more? Uh. Um, interesting. I was thinking about this even in talking about or thinking about what to participate in or not.And I thought about Greek life actually because that was something that was really big at, um, at my school. And I, I actually, I, I'm like sort of happy in the way how it worked [00:08:00] out for me because I did, uh, rush. I, I joined a sorority and then I intentionally chose a sorority where my friends were not doing it.So I would meet new people, which was, was part. And challenging. And then in the end, I decided it was not for me. Like I did it. I tried the meetings and I was like, this is, this is not for me. And you went for it. Yeah. That's one of things like, do I regret any of that? No. Like it took time and I tried to do it and then ultimately it was like, Ugh, you know, I don't wanna do this anymore.Um, but some of my friends are still close friends with the, they're girl, they're the people who are in their sorority. So it's like, oh, would it have been different if I had chosen to go where my friends were going? I. Don't know.<h1>Marker - MISC - WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR COLLEGE SELF</h1>So when you were in college and you are lurking back as a psychologist now, what would you tell your college self?It would be to accept the uncertainty [00:09:00] and just embrace the experience.I think I would tell my college self to try to be less anxious and know that every. Everything is transient and things can change and that it's okay.<h1>IF YOUR COLLEGE TRANSITION HAD A THEME SOME, WHAT WOULD IT BE?</h1>If your college transition had a theme song, what would it be?. All I can think of is T-Pain, so that's it. Something from tpa.Alright. That's it. You're done. She's done.