Latest / Dear Son, / Fatherhood Is NOT a Joke | B Lew | Ep 175 | The Dear Son, Show

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Fatherhood Is NOT a Joke | B Lew | Ep 175 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's get to it, uh, welcome to the dead sun show.
0:03
[SPEAKER_00]: We had meaningful conversations about life through the lens of fatherhood It's four fathers those with fathers and the father lesson nobody's left out These are the conversations.
0:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I want my sons and access as they grow through life in the manhoods and no topics are off Limits.
0:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your only host tonight, but we got The world right now.
0:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna say at the world right now.
0:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brandon Lewis in the building.
0:23
[SPEAKER_00]: How you feel my brother?
0:24
[SPEAKER_00]: You're you you're you're I feel like good man, but I'm great feeling great
0:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Feeling good, feeling great, feeling uh... Oh, even, I feel great, but I feel...
0:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel focused, I feel... Yeah, focus, I'm just gonna focus.
0:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Focus, I love focus, man.
0:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I used to, uh...
0:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I used to sign my hot meal, focused.
0:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I still got a hot meal.
0:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I still... Oh man, calm down, calm down, really.
0:55
[SPEAKER_02]: We're in the same age bracket then.
0:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
0:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
0:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't never really...
1:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm 40.
1:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm 40.
1:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm 46, man.
1:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll be 47 this year.
1:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, it's the I'll be 41.
1:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we... We'll be.
1:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
1:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Little bit.
1:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Little man.
1:10
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no, no.
1:12
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll be doing that.
1:15
[SPEAKER_02]: We were, man.
1:15
[SPEAKER_02]: We located.
1:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a Los Angeles.
1:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, you know, I said, I'm a Los Angeles.
1:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm from, I'm from Kyle County, Georgia.
1:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Right outside Atlanta.
1:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, count the G. A, you know what I'm saying?
1:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So I've been back at L.A. since December.
1:28
[SPEAKER_02]: So the past 90 days.
1:30
[SPEAKER_02]: We was caught counting like, man, caught counting man.
1:33
[SPEAKER_02]: It's wonderful.
1:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going back.
1:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, it's wonderful.
1:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Kyle County is one of the men.
1:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a suburb right outside of the Atlanta.
1:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, that's, that's why I was raised.
1:44
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why I got who I am.
1:46
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, a lot of traditions.
1:47
[SPEAKER_02]: All that from carving is just like, it's just a great environment.
1:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Great environment.
1:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Raise the family too.
1:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I call that home, but it's just a single mother's home, but it's a successful single mother's.
2:01
[SPEAKER_02]: All my homies are, we didn't have bad.
2:04
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I said?
2:05
[SPEAKER_02]: But we was doing good.
2:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
2:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Mom's doing good.
2:09
[SPEAKER_02]: We all had houses, subdivisions.
2:11
[SPEAKER_02]: We all lived in subdivisions.
2:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you got to sing more about that man.
2:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Who's in house growing up?
2:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And house growing up was my mother and my brother.
2:20
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom and brother.
2:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And I had the older sister.
2:23
[SPEAKER_02]: She passed in 98.
2:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, so it was just, but even prior to that,
2:33
[SPEAKER_02]: 14 years out of the me.
2:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So even when even when we was like growing up, she was like in her 20s, so she died in her late 20s, but when she was.
2:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, she was already out mood up the house and had her own business.
2:47
[SPEAKER_02]: She was a hairdresser.
2:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's what I did too.
2:50
[SPEAKER_02]: She was in the broader brothers, hair shows and all that.
2:52
[SPEAKER_02]: She was really, yes, she was really one of the ones if she was still been living.
2:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Would you fall in the order where you'd middle child and youngest?
2:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm the youngest.
3:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm the baby.
3:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, that's right.
3:02
[SPEAKER_02]: My brother is 44 or four years older than me.
3:05
[SPEAKER_01]: OK.
3:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm still a little mad and I don't like it.
3:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, not for sure, not for sure, not for sure.
3:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go, I ain't go,
3:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my environment saved me because I'm born in LA.
3:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So my father is from Los Angeles.
3:38
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom met my father in Los Angeles.
3:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Me and my brother were both born here.
3:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And we did move.
3:46
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom is originally from Cleveland, Tennessee, right outside Chattanooga.
3:50
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom moved out to LA because her sister, her older sister, was out here.
3:54
[SPEAKER_02]: She moved out here to get out from the country town.
3:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Met my father.
3:58
[SPEAKER_02]: They had met my brother.
4:00
[SPEAKER_02]: uh, and then they divorced and my mom moved back to Tennessee and then to Atlanta.
4:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So we moved to Tennessee when I was in kindergarten and then from second grade, from kindergarten, the first and then from second grade, all the way to really the past four years, I was counting.
4:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Is your father still alive?
4:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Father passed.
4:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Father and my mother passed.
4:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, father and my mother passed.
4:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, for sure.
4:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my father, my mom passed two years ago.
4:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And my father passed five.
4:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
4:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
4:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Your father, yeah.
4:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, sorry to hit that brother.
4:39
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you remember about him growing up?
4:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I did.
4:44
[SPEAKER_02]: So here's the thing.
4:45
[SPEAKER_02]: My brother was my father, right?
4:48
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
4:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Because it was just me and my brother.
4:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And my mom worked and I'm saying to you.
4:55
[SPEAKER_02]: She worked to provide a great life force, but my brother was my father, because my father was absent.
5:01
[SPEAKER_02]: So like me growing up,
5:04
[SPEAKER_02]: It was my brother, he was doing the best.
5:05
[SPEAKER_02]: He could, and hindsight, he did a great job, but in real time, like I hated it because he had to take on the role of a father.
5:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And like his way of this man was whipping my, he beat me, like shut up, nigga, get the fight, and square up, boom, shut up, boom.
5:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Like if you listen, boom, boom, boom.
5:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like, you can't comprehend that.
5:27
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying, in real time, but like now on hindsight, I see what it was
5:33
[SPEAKER_02]: that it wasn't his job and that, you know, he was just doing the best he could.
5:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, and I didn't meet my father was a phone call of father, you know, he would call what you're doing, which I was always getting a report back, you know, and then he would come, you know, he would come
5:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I remember we went in 93, we went back to LA, and then from 93, it would be like phone call.
6:06
[SPEAKER_02]: He came on my sister died in 98, and then he was like, I think he came one more time when I was in high school.
6:14
[SPEAKER_02]: But it can't go point like, because I play sports.
6:17
[SPEAKER_02]: But like when I started playing sports, lifting weights, getting my, you know what I'm saying, getting it, I was like, it can't go point was like, nigga, you're not going to come back.
6:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you're not, you know what I'm saying?
6:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So it would just be right.
6:26
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just phone call.
6:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So I got immune to that.
6:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I didn't meet my father like, for real, for real until I was 24.
6:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And I moved to LA.
6:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So I moved to LA at 24.
6:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's when I like.
6:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Met my father, and I live on my father from 24.
6:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I live on my father for 20, for three years.
6:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I was at where y'all live with this established a relationship, like what was the vibe.
6:55
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like, man, it was like weird.
7:01
[SPEAKER_02]: It was roommate.
7:02
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like roommate.
7:04
[SPEAKER_02]: It was, uh,
7:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I was the long-lost nephew, I was the long-lost cousin when I first came back, you know, so like when I first came back, like the first, what, two months, we was just visiting everybody because I was the long-lost nephew, I was the long-lost cousin.
7:22
[SPEAKER_02]: But then my father's character is a black sheep, so he don't go around his family.
7:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So like I was the reason to go around his family that he don't even go around.
7:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And then, you know, my father had habits.
7:38
[SPEAKER_02]: My father was a gamble, he gamble horses, you know what I'm saying?
7:42
[SPEAKER_02]: So he had vices and I was able to see all this in real time.
7:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I was able to see, I was able to see, like why you wasn't here.
7:51
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, man, it was like I was able to see that.
7:56
[SPEAKER_02]: like why you didn't provide because I grew up for you.
7:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Like my mom spoiled us to the best of her ability.
8:01
[SPEAKER_02]: So we got everything that we, you know what I'm saying?
8:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I said, we grew up in a group in a subdivision, grew up in a great house.
8:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Like my mom got us everything and like I could, I could call my mom for anything.
8:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Explore you like, hey, my mom messed up I need $200 or $300 or do this or do that.
8:17
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom would just, you know what she do with it.
8:19
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying, but like when I met my father at 24, it's like for the real time living with him,
8:26
[SPEAKER_00]: He didn't do that at that meeting him at 24 me, him as a man, developing as a man at the very least and seeing why he wasn't there.
8:35
[SPEAKER_00]: How did you process that were you able to forgive them, were you angry like, because that's that's an interesting place to meet somebody because you you're probably had already come and see your own so it sounded like you were
8:49
[SPEAKER_00]: not necessarily needing him, but the fact that y'all were able to co-habitate and you saw some of his character risks and his character.
8:58
[SPEAKER_00]: How did you react to it?
8:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Were you like, oh, I get it now, was it was some anger?
9:03
[SPEAKER_02]: It was anger.
9:05
[SPEAKER_02]: It was anger.
9:08
[SPEAKER_02]: It was, I get it.
9:11
[SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't, it wasn't,
9:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I was shell shocked because I came, it was two different environments, you know what I'm saying?
9:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I basically came from being coddled to now being like, nah.
9:30
[SPEAKER_02]: go.
9:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Even so, in case the point, when I got, when I got here at 24, you know, I came, I came for a stand-up comedy.
9:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I came to pursue my dream of doing a stand-up and he gave me an opportunity to live.
9:44
[SPEAKER_02]: He was like, well, you can come.
9:45
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
9:46
[SPEAKER_02]: You kind of like you can live with me and you can chase your dream.
9:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So I took that, took advantage of that.
9:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And so when I got there, you know,
9:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just thinking like I'm still moving as a I want and I wouldn't even say necessarily foil I would just say privilege and like just a great mom like I was moving in that space So like the first jail shot or the first like whoa was he wouldn't take me around to open my
10:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't have no car.
10:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I came hurt and I had no car.
10:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm thinking like, A pop, like, I felt, I remember I did my research.
10:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I did open mice.
10:19
[SPEAKER_02]: You're like good.
10:19
[SPEAKER_02]: He was like, I take you to one.
10:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you got to learn the bus system.
10:23
[SPEAKER_02]: You're like, you're going to learn how to ride the bus system.
10:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not gonna take you.
10:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not gonna take you around to all these open mice.
10:29
[SPEAKER_02]: But then I was frustrated and a little bit of anger because he just went to go gamble.
10:35
[SPEAKER_02]: He didn't have no job.
10:37
[SPEAKER_02]: So like that judgment came and tell me where it's like, you ain't even doing nothing, they're like, why don't you can't?
10:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
10:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know, was it the lesson that you need to even know a came in the terrible package was that one of the lessons you needed at that stage in life?
10:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Like sugar and stuff up.
10:52
[SPEAKER_02]: After a little, yeah, absolutely.
10:54
[SPEAKER_02]: It was, yeah, absolutely.
10:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And how I thought it was great.
10:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I was able to, you know, I was able to really, it tested me like if I really wanted it,
11:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And I did, I overcame it, I learned the bus system, I was walking.
11:06
[SPEAKER_02]: It was, I basically just asked him out.
11:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I basically just asked him out, I used to walk to open mics, walk up and down, sunset, boulevard, catch the bus, hustle, even to this day, my best friend, Tony Baker.
11:19
[SPEAKER_02]: He would take me home at the end of the night from grinding, doing open mics and everything.
11:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And it, like, yeah, it made me become something that I didn't want to, but I need it, yeah.
11:31
[SPEAKER_02]: for sure.
11:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
11:32
[SPEAKER_00]: How did if you if you open it to talking about it, not it's cool.
11:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Like how did what was your impression of your father through your mother's lens growing up?
11:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Did she ever talk about them?
11:43
[SPEAKER_02]: She didn't she didn't talk about them.
11:46
[SPEAKER_02]: She never talked about them negatively, like just in and random conversations or in conversations or anything to that nature she never did, but like
11:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I remember I was gambling, uh, I remember I was playing tongue.
12:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Me and my homies in high school.
12:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I never forget we, we, we found out how to play tongue.
12:06
[SPEAKER_02]: It went from learning how to shoot dice to playing tongue.
12:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So we were, we were like every day.
12:12
[SPEAKER_02]: We were being our girl in my garage, playing dumb.
12:15
[SPEAKER_02]: It was three of us, my homie Kenny and my homie by the, we were playing dumb.
12:19
[SPEAKER_02]: It was for like a little bit of dollars.
12:21
[SPEAKER_02]: But like the loser had to buy everybody's XB.
12:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So we were like, we playing dumb playing dumb.
12:27
[SPEAKER_02]: To buy 930, the loser got to go take uh, by XB's, right?
12:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And uh, I never get my mama came home and called us in the garage playing.
12:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And she was high.
12:38
[SPEAKER_02]: She was like, what you're doing in here?
12:40
[SPEAKER_02]: She was going on, she didn't cause me.
12:41
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like, what you're doing in here?
12:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, hey, stop.
12:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I don't need to be doing that.
12:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And then she was like, she was like, she was like, you're just like your daddy.
12:48
[SPEAKER_02]: She was like, you're just like your daddy.
12:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And I didn't know what that meant until I got there and I was able to look back at it in hindsight.
12:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know what that meant.
13:00
[SPEAKER_02]: She was like, you're gonna be just like your daddy if you keep doing this.
13:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And because we wasn't even, we wasn't even gambling for like, it was literally like $2, $3, $5.
13:10
[SPEAKER_02]: The most it ever got was like $30.
13:12
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying when we was supposed to play cars with each other.
13:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So it was never like really serious to that degree.
13:19
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
13:19
[SPEAKER_02]: So I didn't understand it at the time, but that was one of the moments where my mama did talk about my daddy in that light.
13:26
[SPEAKER_00]: When you got that, that was something I was actually about to ask you how much like him are you?
13:33
[SPEAKER_01]: I am, if it's a hundred percent, 40 might be 50 percent.
13:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't suffer from gambling.
13:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I'm thankful, I don't suffer from gambling.
13:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't, I don't suffer from gambling.
13:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't,
13:53
[SPEAKER_02]: and I'm at the father.
13:55
[SPEAKER_02]: So I moved back to my daughters.
13:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So I moved back to LA for my daughters.
13:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Like that was a decision.
14:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I see that I see like in life you have decisions that you can kind of go down the same route as your parents.
14:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And I had that because I was living in Atlanta and you know, I didn't wanna come back to LA because you know,
14:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Uh, one of the reasons was like, Dren, like, man, why don't I want to come back and live?
14:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And I've got a house, you know what I'm saying?
14:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm in a house in that letter.
14:22
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
14:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Paying a thousand, I was paying 1400 in mortgage.
14:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, to now I'm in a three-bedroom apartment.
14:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm paying 2700.
14:29
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
14:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just like, I juggle with that to the point where it was just like,
14:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't want to become my father.
14:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't want my daughters to grow up and the only reason that I had or an excuse that I had to that kept me away from them was that I didn't want to lead them.
14:46
[SPEAKER_00]: When did your daughters come into the picture?
14:47
[SPEAKER_00]: How old were you when your first one was born?
14:50
[SPEAKER_02]: My first one I was 32.
14:52
[SPEAKER_02]: 2018, yeah, 32, yeah.
14:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Just two daughters, that's yeah.
14:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Two daughters, you know, two daughters is seven and five.
15:02
[SPEAKER_02]: It's only on your.
15:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, two daughters, man.
15:05
[SPEAKER_00]: What did that do?
15:06
[SPEAKER_00]: So you got five kids, my kid is a 22, 2018, 12 and 11.
15:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So we had to stay at step two.
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: We had our first three with basically those two years apart.
15:21
[SPEAKER_00]: So when you said that, that's why I was kind of smiling like I remember.
15:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And my first girl, boys girls about two, it was girl girl boy, girl boy three girls two boys.
15:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So the two girls were first.
15:33
[SPEAKER_00]: So I remember, I was going to say you know, how much of a sucker did you become?
15:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm a proud son.
15:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still my I got my daughter's grown.
15:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm I'm still for real Yeah, I got a learn CC.
15:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll see I need to learn.
15:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I need to ask a question.
15:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I need to learn Yeah, I'm a sucker though for sure.
15:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, all day.
15:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a sucker.
15:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a for sure even to the point where it's like some of our routines We got a break because like you know, they just week.
16:03
[SPEAKER_02]: They just got they bump in
16:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like they coming to that transition where they got to get up on my bed.
16:08
[SPEAKER_02]: They got they got they got they got they bomb beds, but they still don't want to they still don't want to go on that room yet.
16:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like even our little night time routine with eat some snacks before sleep.
16:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I do all I let them get away without a bad stuff person.
16:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Like we eat snacks like they look for it today though.
16:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, I was just climbing the bed man.
16:29
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a story my way to I can't confirm with the night that I like kick one up on one time Yeah Because I was unsure what was going on and I just kind of like reacting to kick one That's not a boy.
16:40
[SPEAKER_00]: No, don't don't kick your children.
16:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't do that.
16:43
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I know first lesson there there
16:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel you because they have to age now.
16:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I've got a king, I've got a king bed, but it's like, hey, bro, it's time to go now.
16:56
[SPEAKER_02]: You just, your knee, your knee, your knee and my stuff.
17:00
[SPEAKER_02]: It's time to go, I feel you know.
17:02
[SPEAKER_00]: A king bed has never been smaller than when I had a family.
17:05
[SPEAKER_00]: They're my family, my family kept it off.
17:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they've been smaller.
17:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, even that, give me that college twin bed.
17:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, bro.
17:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I was moving around, work work, work children,
17:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, first one.
17:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
17:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Second one.
17:20
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
17:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Did you know more the story together?
17:24
[SPEAKER_02]: No, man.
17:24
[SPEAKER_02]: The mother not together.
17:26
[SPEAKER_02]: There we go.
17:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't battle with that.
17:28
[SPEAKER_02]: He like I ain't going to hold you like I battle with that, um, even like, you know, even to the narrative of a broken home and co-parenting, uh, been all about it with that.
17:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And I guess I even battle with just, you know, I guess we didn't we didn't we didn't ever
17:46
[SPEAKER_02]: to the point where it was a thick enough glue, because we just two different, two different upbringing.
17:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it was just like kind of like group part.
18:02
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the most engaging conversations that we've had in terms of social media reacted on the show was talking about me and my co-hosts we're talking about,
18:11
[SPEAKER_00]: our father's asking us why are we marrying the woman we chose to marry, right?
18:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And people went off, like when we were like, well, how did he ask how did he get in, and I never thought about it from a different lens other than my father was concerned about what decision I'm making.
18:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And as I went through the comments, it was, well, if y'all got kids, y'all, they're good enough to have a child, we, you know, they're good enough to get married, and it's
18:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Even being pro marriage with the family I have, I know it was the right decision for me.
18:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I can only imagine not being on the same page with an individual after children and then trying to force something, for something to work.
18:51
[SPEAKER_00]: My partner was even saying that a large part of the reason that he engaged in his first marriage was because his father wasn't in the house and he resented.
19:01
[SPEAKER_00]: His father was in his life, but his father wasn't in the house.
19:05
[SPEAKER_00]: and that kind of clouded his judgment in terms of, it was more so, see, I'm gonna make this work, I'm gonna prove more than it was, like this is the right thing to do, so, so, ain't no judgment here, bro, in terms of, how it started and how it is, for sure.
19:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, no, for sure, I appreciate that, it came out to my happiness, you know what I'm saying?
19:27
[SPEAKER_02]: It really did, it really came out to my happiness, even,
19:32
[SPEAKER_02]: even to me, not even going back per se or like trying to make it work.
19:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I even, you know, within the co-parent relationship, I have points of like trying to make it work.
19:48
[SPEAKER_02]: But my happiness and just the...
19:51
[SPEAKER_02]: the friction, you know what I'm saying?
19:54
[SPEAKER_02]: It was just like, I can't, I can't, I'm saying.
19:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm a creative.
19:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like it's no, it's no not to nine of fibers, but if I had a nine of five, I think I could.
20:06
[SPEAKER_02]: and it's no knock, but I just feel like, you know, nine or five, you ain't really got to use your brain.
20:11
[SPEAKER_02]: You can somebody tell you what to do.
20:12
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
20:13
[SPEAKER_02]: You ain't really got to, and it's not a, it's not, oh, knock, but it's like, you can't tell it like, you, you in this entrepreneur space, you know what I'm saying?
20:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you got to, you really got to correct just some scratch.
20:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you created this platform from scratch and like, people don't understand what it was goals until like creating things from scratch and like even consistently keeping it.
20:32
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, your mind is always working,
20:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Even when you think I'm not working, I'm working.
20:39
[SPEAKER_02]: The creativeness has to be like, um, it has to be there, like, a face-based.
20:45
[SPEAKER_00]: That's less, less pull that thread, man, because nine to five.
20:51
[SPEAKER_00]: So my nine to five led to me being in leadership.
20:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like the executive space.
20:56
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had to think.
20:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And I, and I looked the color that I looked.
21:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And the environment that didn't look the color that I looked.
21:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had to, I had to think,
21:06
[SPEAKER_00]: In some days, I'm like, man, let me do some of my resume, or because this ain't about nothing.
21:12
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,
21:36
[SPEAKER_00]: quote unquote making it in corporate.
21:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I missed them W2s, man.
21:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't gonna go.
21:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't gonna go.
21:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't gonna go.
21:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't gonna go.
21:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't gonna go.
21:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't gonna go.
21:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't gonna go.
21:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I ain't gonna go.
21:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna go.
21:54
[UNKNOWN]: I
21:55
[SPEAKER_02]: You understand what I'm saying.
21:57
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like there's there's a different yeah exactly there is a different It's different.
22:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Nightingale like you have a job.
22:05
[SPEAKER_02]: You know I'm worried I got what up what I'm on nine to five Or I'm eight to twelve on first if I'm second shift on third shift money through Friday He got my set hours, you know, I'm saying okay when I get there like I could I did I did the factory I did the labor the manual labor nine to five
22:21
[SPEAKER_02]: You get there somebody tell you what to do.
22:23
[SPEAKER_02]: We hear all we hear right here.
22:24
[SPEAKER_02]: We got break We got lunch and we go home and it's like you know you ain't really got a thing as far as like something creative Like but when you in this creative space and you're creating your income from scratch you got a thing you got a
22:37
[SPEAKER_02]: push through, you got to follow through, you got to call, you got to set it up.
22:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes you maybe got to edit like not in this new space.
22:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Then you got to still be like case and point.
22:47
[SPEAKER_02]: We had to show up right now with our energy cleared, no matter what we're going through, like when we cut this camera back to like family, being the father, but it's like right now, we got to that cause that can show through.
22:59
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying, this threat to energy, like all that, that's, you know what I'm saying, okay?
23:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Just, it's curfew for me, I don't be up.
23:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'd be up in four o'clock in the morning five o'clock in the morning, but now I'm seeing I'd be experienced.
23:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I definitely understand the man.
23:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Hi, hi, his uh Do you think you're a better father because of your experience in entrepreneurship?
23:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's a that's a good question, but I think I'm a better father.
23:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, I wasn't because of my corporate experience, but that was a choice.
23:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Right I feel like
23:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know how to answer that because it's like I know I have to like my weekends like so we start tour we start tour this month and you know my weekends are now gonna be gone you know what I'm saying and and for the foreseeable future you know stand up as my passion stand up as my first love stand up as my I like to tell people like stand up as my major acting
24:04
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, for the foreseeable future, that's my job is weekends.
24:07
[SPEAKER_02]: My job is weekend.
24:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, for the foreseeable future, these weekends is going to be gone, you know what I'm saying?
24:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, and so, that's the sacrifice I was like, you know, because my daughter, my oldest at seven, and you know, she's getting into sports.
24:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I watched a, a mind-saving Brown's father on the pivot, we was like, you know, kids ain't, uh-huh.
24:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Parents is lazy, kids ain't lazy and like how you got to, you know, drive your kids to do in the direction you driving in the direction you driving in the direction you driving in the direction you driving in it and that and I got the thing and like you know all the successful all the successful people from scratch like they did and it did drive or they parents did drive them and you know my daughters getting seven I wanted to play basketball so it's like
24:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I see all of my other homies like other homies who who they every day with they slam up my best friends side.
24:57
[SPEAKER_02]: His son is in a 10th grade in every day.
24:59
[SPEAKER_02]: He breaking out, shooting that L.A. Finn is working.
25:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And I love that.
25:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And I want that, but my passion is my passion, though, so.
25:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Your work ethic of probably transfer though.
25:08
[SPEAKER_00]: They see you going hard at a thing and understand what it takes to be great at whatever it is.
25:12
[SPEAKER_00]: All that transfer is my youngest children.
25:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Only their primary references entrepreneur me.
25:22
[SPEAKER_00]: My oldest children, they had the benefit of the corporate income, but I was gone.
25:29
[SPEAKER_00]: God, even when I was in the house, I was like mentally checked out because I put everything into in the corporate and I'm not celebrating that, but that's kind of what birthed the podcast was was realizing that and I'm disconnected specifically with my son and repeating what was going
25:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't even say it's weird, man, but they watch and I try not to overthink it at this stage.
25:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I try to let them see the makes and the misses be more open in conversation about your dad and like, I don't understand as I'm going at it though.
26:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how this is going to work.
26:11
[SPEAKER_00]: This didn't work and then the lifestyle change, man.
26:16
[SPEAKER_00]: That's something that I held over my head for a long time.
26:23
[SPEAKER_00]: it was easy to like when money isn't the problem other problems get louder like when bills are the problem when money is the problem then bills are loud and what you can't do is loud and it's hard to it was hard for most of you at least for me so some days I still like man it used to be like this but thank god my kids okay by that stuff even when I was throwing it at them they never
26:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Never cared about that stuff at all, man.
26:54
[SPEAKER_00]: You said comedy is your major.
26:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And I thought about that in the intro.
26:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know if it would be putting you in a box to say you're a comedian only.
27:06
[SPEAKER_00]: But how did you, at what point in life did you know that had it was that enough?
27:14
[SPEAKER_02]: 2010, 2010 when I made that choice to pursue it fully.
27:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And I've been at it since then, yeah, so 2010.
27:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Before 2010, it was, I was lost.
27:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna say I'm found now.
27:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I ain't gonna say I'm found, but I was like extremely lost prior to 2010.
27:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even have no, no, yeah, I was lost before 2010.
27:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And so like right now, I still, I wouldn't say I found my purpose, but you know, I gotta, you know what I'm saying?
27:56
[SPEAKER_02]: If I'm on a bandwagon, I'm on a good, I'm on a good ride right now with Santa, right?
28:00
[SPEAKER_00]: So, why don't you think it's your purpose?
28:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not challenging that it is or it is.
28:05
[SPEAKER_00]: There's just any reason to say that.
28:07
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I catch myself, I catch myself thinking,
28:10
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, it was more the life than just followers.
28:12
[SPEAKER_02]: It's more the life than like trying to get this off the ground, trying to get for like so in my field, it's a culmination of followers and that's really it.
28:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Like the content is the, it's just come with it, but you do the content to a master follower.
28:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And then the following, you hope to a master money.
28:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like, you know what I'm saying?
28:35
[SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like it's just more to life.
28:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I catch myself thinking like, you know, it's somebody right now.
28:40
[SPEAKER_02]: His whole goal is to get fresh water for his village.
28:44
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
28:45
[SPEAKER_02]: He ain't thinking about no followers.
28:47
[SPEAKER_02]: He ain't worried about trying to create some videos.
28:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it's like, you know, and today's time right now,
28:55
[SPEAKER_02]: everybody do it.
28:57
[SPEAKER_02]: So sometimes it gets discouraging because there's no, there's no filter.
29:02
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no system like, you know, I'm a sports guy.
29:05
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like, you know, there's levels in everything you've got to do in it.
29:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, you know, there is a, there's a plethora of individuals at each level, but it gets thinner and thinner with the better the skillset and you know the better, you know, it's the better the skillset, really.
29:21
[SPEAKER_02]: So you know, it gets thinner.
29:24
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not like that and so you could just everybody is a comedian, per se, first and foremost, everybody's a comedian.
29:30
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
29:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And so, you know, it's just, you know, it gets discouraging and then it gets like, yeah, it gets discouraging because it's like, everybody doing like, you think you came up with the idea and it's 45,000 other people doing that same concept.
29:47
[SPEAKER_00]: His was crazy though, because I'm new to the space in terms of, in terms of using it to create income.
29:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And I look at, you, like, my assumption is your crew is, is that all deaf, like that's how I saw you.
30:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And I look at each other and I'm like, man, they got it.
30:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I have, I don't know if I have the grit and the grind that cut through like they cut and through.
30:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess it's easy to look at people and not, you know, absence of conversation and you assume like I assume that you're all got it, like that you're all over that hurdle.
30:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I see yours because you're all limited to that hurdle.
30:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, man, I don't know if I got to.
30:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I got that in me to the push through that hard and cut through and then some pops, right?
30:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And it gave me a little bit more encouragement.
30:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I started to fade a little bit and then some pops.
30:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Like even the conversations with you, like I hit you up like Grumble fan, I, you know, I feel like you've mastered your craft to the ground.
30:57
[SPEAKER_00]: You can always improve, but it's interesting when you look at the lens that would you look at people and it's not always what it's saying, man, how do you, what pushes you through?
31:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, you know, you know, that's crazy like because I'm at a pivot, I'm at a pivot.
31:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm 16 years in doing stand-up.
31:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm probably like 10, probably like 10 years on the content side.
31:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know,
31:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm first generation, like my class, like my class is first generation of social media.
31:37
[SPEAKER_02]: We first generation of social media right at the breaking.
31:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I was here for anything, Instagram, all this.
31:48
[SPEAKER_02]: All these blossoming stars, I had the opportunity to be the first of that.
31:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I was the first of that.
31:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I was a pioneer, like the first time I have you want to put it.
31:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like,
31:59
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, even with that, it's like I look back like you, I didn't take advantage of a lot of things because
32:07
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't know like it's almost like you know it's like it's almost like everybody moving west for gold and I'm like well I'm I'm gonna stay here, bro.
32:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know and then it's like okay, well, man 300 people didn't hit you know I'm saying and now and now I'm like well, man, let me hit out with you know That's how I feel when it comes to this social media because it's like you know I still just honor to craft I honor to the crowd and that's where I find my frustration I honor to craft so much
32:36
[SPEAKER_02]: and the craft ain't rewarding from the honor.
32:40
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
32:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And I find that the first trading part, you know what I'm saying?
32:45
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the first trading part.
32:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And when would you say like, how do you push through, man?
32:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I just push through, man, with friends, I was telling my home in a day like, man, I suffer from teammates syndrome.
32:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I just created that phrase.
32:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Team made you central.
33:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Team made syndrome.
33:01
[SPEAKER_02]: He was like, what is that?
33:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, man,
33:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so used to doing everything with a team that it like paralyzed me when I'm by myself.
33:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So like when I'm by myself and I got to do it things by myself, I'm lost, I want to add people in.
33:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Like when I get out of here, I'm calling for myself.
33:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's do this.
33:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's do this.
33:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's do this.
33:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to do this a team.
33:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, when I'm by myself, I get, it's like, ah, I don't know what to do.
33:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to get paralyzed.
33:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I like, I, I, I, the late, but when I'm in a team setting, I can, like, let's do it.
33:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's get on it.
33:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Who got this?
33:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's do this.
33:38
[SPEAKER_02]: A man get up.
33:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
33:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I could say, I'm the opposite man, I'm not anti-team, but for so long, I've taken the one, the responsibility to do things myself, figuring it out, not allowing people to disappoint me or impress me, or help me at a very real way.
34:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's interesting to hear you say that is it?
34:14
[SPEAKER_00]: is the team of validation of your thoughts and you just enjoy the environment.
34:19
[SPEAKER_00]: We go further together kind of mindset.
34:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I just enjoy, I just enjoy being around people, like in a team atmosphere, like I just enjoy it.
34:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I just get gratification.
34:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I get gratification standing, my home is shining, like helping my home is win.
34:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I get gratification in it,
34:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm such a, I'm so connected to sports that it just it just it just field over to that where is it's like, you know, I like I always tell my homies like, you know, when a champion's team break up everybody get a contract.
34:56
[SPEAKER_02]: when a losing team break up only one player get a contract.
35:00
[SPEAKER_02]: So I always like re-enterate that to like keep that in mind, like just play your position.
35:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Like when it's all when it break off, you're gonna shine, you know what I'm saying?
35:09
[SPEAKER_02]: You're gonna get that.
35:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Like if you were editor, like let's just say if you, if you're editing on a hit show, you think I'm like, well, you get like Casin boy.
35:16
[SPEAKER_02]: You, you was the director or the editor on centers.
35:19
[SPEAKER_02]: mean what come on you don't say they had like it you know what I'm saying it was a chemistry up they want to rain so it's like that's where you know I draw to it's like being a part of something like that it just brings me joy you know what I got to I got to kind of walk back would not even really walk back what I said about the team environment because
35:42
[SPEAKER_00]: My real focus is for others the win.
35:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I jumped on a camera as a proof of concept and because the meaning of the podcast is what it was.
35:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I really just want to produce stuff.
35:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I just want the production name to be that.
35:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And almost to my detriment, because in a lot of cases, I'll play small when I don't need to.
36:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the, I don't, I don't, right, fact.
36:08
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't want to success on me.
36:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to experience it, but I don't, I don't really want, like, I'm not being on look at me.
36:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But it takes that, like, attention is currency.
36:17
[SPEAKER_00]: and retention is multiplied.
36:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Talk to my own me about that today too, like, man, you almost in this, in today's time, and today's comment, you gotta pop it, like you gotta, you gotta say you wanna know one's and whatever you do, you gotta say you the best that it, just to even draw the attention because,
36:35
[SPEAKER_02]: playing the back seat and going to get you nowhere in today's climate, like they ain't nobody searching for the back seat riders no more like you got to really be like this podcast I got the best this I'm the best that you really got to draw the attention to you I'm getting there I got my days I got my days but but it's still and and a lot of it is like I have
37:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't say I have a trouble, I gotta figure out what I don't know if it's ego or the pat myself from the back for doing everything, but there's no victory in doing everything.
37:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been at a point with like, I give some more.
37:16
[SPEAKER_00]: We did live so early, we did live so last Tuesday, and I'm still operating the cameras in the mics and like this is ridiculous.
37:28
[SPEAKER_00]: but it's something about letting the goal, you know what I'm saying?
37:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And it honestly is not for everybody to say, man, do you do everything?
37:36
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not that at all, because I get you, I get you, I get you, and when you just said, that's where I get you, yeah, I get you on that.
37:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not that at all, remember, what does a, what does success look like for you of you writing it?
37:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you writing a story?
37:50
[SPEAKER_00]: What does it look like?
37:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Success looks, what success looks like to me if I was writing a story.
37:57
[SPEAKER_02]: It looks like having options, having all options.
38:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So like my whole thing in life is just to have the option to decline.
38:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Like any of it's at the crime, but like just chasing point.
38:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Nah, that's what it is.
38:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I like that.
38:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Like let me have the option, like it's anything,
38:18
[SPEAKER_02]: anything, right?
38:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me have the option to find first class.
38:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me have the option to go get this Corvette.
38:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me have the option to go get this house.
38:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me have the option to go get whatever, you know what I'm saying?
38:28
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I, that's my idea of success.
38:32
[SPEAKER_02]: You being able to have options to do things.
38:36
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I've used success as for me, being having the option, like you know what today, man, man, let's go to Africa, bro, or today, you know what I'm saying, but like everything I got in this time to be money, but in today's life experience, yeah, yeah, what I thought was success at the time, and I'm specifically saying that the time because it was money driven was what I actually could
39:02
[SPEAKER_00]: by the things that I thought I wanted materially.
39:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.
39:08
[SPEAKER_00]: It was good enough for me knowing that I could get it.
39:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.
39:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So I never wowed out.
39:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I never went and got, you know, the, the, I always wanted to be in the, and then when I got to the place where I can get it, I was like, you know what?
39:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Navigator school.
39:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Brian sports.
39:23
[SPEAKER_00]: He's right.
39:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I said, what is the what is the family need?
39:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And there is something about like I understand that satisfaction that comes with being able to live on your terms.
39:35
[SPEAKER_00]: That's that's really what it is for me and especially now with children.
39:40
[SPEAKER_00]: is creating opportunities, making sure they have resources to pursue their passion, right?
39:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Without it being a burden, that's my ultimate goal.
39:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I got a grand daughter, so it kind of reset the clock.
39:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what it looks like for me.
39:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And it morphs over time.
40:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Like things become more and less important as you understand yourself more and live more life.
40:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I really don't care about anymore.
40:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, they just don't matter more than anything else that's happening in this house, man.
40:17
[SPEAKER_00]: What's the tool coming up, man?
40:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's the same more about what you do, man.
40:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I won't try to, like, not say it, but... No, man.
40:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I'm like, to just be an individual.
40:27
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I just want to be a individual man, uh, but I'm a stand up comedian, uh, I make content, uh, online.
40:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I have made great content, uh, one of my, I guess, kind of famous a show called Roast Me on all deaf, you know, we like five seasons in, uh, you know, men's of use, you know, saying, you got to pop it on the head, but it's, that's a great.
40:48
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a great show that we conceptualized back in what 2017 and you know, I do stand up comedy and I'm currently on tour with my best friend, Tony Baker.
41:00
[SPEAKER_02]: So we start tour this month.
41:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Twenty two cities.
41:04
[SPEAKER_02]: So we got twenty two cities this year.
41:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, man.
41:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I saw you when I wanted to say it was.
41:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Wendy, it might have been 23 or 24.
41:17
[SPEAKER_00]: It was Kevin, a stage to hear Tony.
41:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Bob, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
41:31
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, it was, it was that the majestic day of the endless, it was, oh, yeah.
41:38
[SPEAKER_00]: To hear Tony, Angel, I can't remember, because I get it, because every time, just by every time, Kevin on stage come through here, I'm there.
41:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I begin to show his confused.
41:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, what's wrong?
41:49
[SPEAKER_00]: But I know specifically, and I call you out of the show, I was like, do you not dare to remember?
41:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But like, it was the way you carried the show was like an art form.
41:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, for sure.
42:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I take, I take, I take great pride in it.
42:03
[SPEAKER_02]: How, which do you prefer?
42:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Headlining the hosting.
42:10
[SPEAKER_02]: So, like, what you said about like controlling the cameras and like doing all like that, like that's how I feel the host.
42:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So, like,
42:20
[SPEAKER_02]: that's how I feel the host.
42:21
[SPEAKER_02]: So like when I go into the hosting, like I'm controlling anything, like I control the energy, I control, I control the DJ, I tell the DJ, this is where we go, this is how we go and play the songs when they walk in it, this is how we go, this is the music I want you to play for me.
42:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna set the tone, you know what I'm saying?
42:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I get, I get a high off of setting the tone.
42:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So like when people see it, like minutes show was great because I feel like as long as you got a, as long as you got a great
42:48
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't everything else can fall in line because you didn't come to see me.
42:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So you already comfortable with who you came to see.
42:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So once you see like, oh man, this house is good.
42:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it's like, oh, he was good too.
43:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And then he was good too.
43:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you who you paid to see, oh, that was good.
43:05
[SPEAKER_02]: So now overall, you'd be like, man, this house was good.
43:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Because
43:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Commonly, it's not gonna be great shows if you go to comedy shows.
43:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Somebody gonna drop the baton.
43:14
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I always say.
43:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Somebody gonna drop the baton where the crowd no longer trust this show until they see who they can to pay for.
43:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Boy, I had a bucket list and one of the great social rebate name lists.
43:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I must have caught him on his worst night.
43:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, one of the,
43:38
[SPEAKER_00]: one of the celebrated.
43:41
[SPEAKER_00]: If I say his name, you probably hang up because you probably revere him like that.
43:45
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, your pal was the best show I said.
43:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I say that we lived in Dubai for three years.
43:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And I saw him.
43:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Him and Kevin Hart came through Dubai when I was there.
43:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Those were the best shows that I've, you know what?
44:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And Kevore stays back, Pew-Tool.
44:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell your back, boy, shout out to my daughter, kid.
44:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Floorless.
44:19
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
44:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Floorless victory.
44:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Kevore, that's my daughter.
44:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Shout out to him and his wife, Melissa.
44:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, what I was saying was the one of the great that she'll remain nameless on.
44:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
44:30
[SPEAKER_00]: What I remember about that show was the host was better.
44:35
[SPEAKER_00]: The host was carrying the show so well that he built it up so well that when the headline came on at this appointed, we went to dinner.
44:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Like 15 minutes there, we was... Oh, that could happen.
44:48
[SPEAKER_00]: That could happen.
44:48
[SPEAKER_00]: That could happen.
44:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It could know what happened.
44:52
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it happened.
44:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I got the data.
44:54
[SPEAKER_00]: It happened.
44:55
[SPEAKER_00]: It definitely happened.
44:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to get you up out here, man.
44:59
[SPEAKER_00]: But I got a couple of questions that I...
45:01
[SPEAKER_00]: that I like to ask, especially first time conversations, so the whole show was called, there's something what I wish my father told me.
45:09
[SPEAKER_00]: What's one thing you wish your father told you or things considered?
45:14
[SPEAKER_01]: There's something I wish you would have told me about managing finances.
45:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like, I feel like if I've got a good grasp,
45:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm 40.
45:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just now grasping the idea and the, all of it, the good and bad stuff.
45:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just now grasping.
45:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I wish my father would have told me and taught me financial literacy.
45:45
[SPEAKER_02]: from an early age that I took to the point where I respected it and revered it.
45:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Because it's like, some people just don't play.
45:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Like some people, some people have been a missed no payment.
45:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Some people just, you know what I'm saying?
45:59
[SPEAKER_02]: It was in steel.
45:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Some people really don't top of that finances.
46:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Like they want to know whatever, you know what I'm saying?
46:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I'll be still beginning tripped up.
46:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And you know what I'm saying?
46:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Just those some transparency.
46:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll be having homies that you haven't.
46:10
[SPEAKER_02]: 25, 30,000 dollar credit cards, I'm like,
46:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And never got cleared for that yet.
46:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you got a 30,000 dollar credit card in your wallet right now.
46:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, you ain't flirting?
46:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Or you ain't like going to get that?
46:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you got some real discipline.
46:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, yeah, that's one thing for sure, man.
46:29
[SPEAKER_02]: If I didn't let it see, I was my father with it, like, then all me about that.
46:33
[SPEAKER_02]: For sure.
46:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
46:34
[SPEAKER_00]: The flip side of that question is because your father was something that your hyper focused on with your children that they'll never have to wish that you told them.
46:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, one thing that I want, one thing that I reiterate to my daughter's now is that it's a phrase.
46:52
[SPEAKER_02]: If you listen to far's time, you'll feel as long as you're hurt the second.
46:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I just keep, I want them to understand it.
47:01
[SPEAKER_02]: If you listen to far's time, you'll feel as long as you're hurt the second.
47:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And as they get old, I'm gonna break it down, which means if you listen, the far's time and understand it, whatever it is, you won't be hurt the second time
47:16
[SPEAKER_02]: that eliminates all the heartbreak and it's going to eliminate heartbreak.
47:19
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to eliminate all that.
47:21
[SPEAKER_02]: If you listen in any capacity, the first time.
47:25
[SPEAKER_02]: No matter what it is, your feelings don't get hurt the second time.
47:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Because the second time, you know.
47:30
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you do it the second time, you know that you should have had none better.
47:33
[SPEAKER_02]: The first time.
47:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I stole it.
47:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I stole it as soon as you said it.
47:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I might sound like I'm all the suns we get on this, we're going to a thing right now like bro, I know you heard me
47:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
47:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
48:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
48:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
48:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
48:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
48:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
48:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
48:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
48:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Appreciate your time brother again.
48:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a I'm a fan.
48:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell you that every time I every time I see you Definitely gonna be taken for You said it's so coming through Dallas and in the fall.
48:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, okay.
48:27
[SPEAKER_00]: How can I can people find you?
48:28
[SPEAKER_02]: My man, you can follow me on Instagram, man Who is Brendan Lewis?
48:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm also on TikTok as the same as who is Brendan Lewis and You know, you know, continue to watch the content on YouTube all this last roast me, but yeah
48:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Watch, watch rolls me, um, at your own risk, because you're all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,