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OH OH OH Damn!!! · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Oh oh, oh damn, it's one more thing, one thing
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: that was going to go. You found that troubling I
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: did that was supposed to be having an orgasm and dying,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: So that will be I'll explain that in a moment.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Dying doing what you love one of the.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Things I love.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: I uh.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I have said this before, and people have, uh I
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: thought it was not cool. But I feel like I
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: need a mild heart attack, just a mild heart attack, whenever,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: whenever I can't get my eating under control. I feel
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: like I need a wake up call. I need a hey, hey,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: gay man, pay attention, get your act together. And I
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: feel like a mild heart attack would be the perfect thing,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: not horrible, not like kill me, just like really scare
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: me into eating better.
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: Yes, Michael, you lost your gallbladder, that's.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: True, but that was not enough of a wake up call.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: It's like you you got the diabetes, and you know
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: you start eating better, right.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: I feel like we could find something less terrible than
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: a mild heart attack.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Do you know what most gets most people? This is
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: what gets most people. It's worked for me before in
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: the past. You see an unflattering picture from an angle
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: you don't usually get like you're in a photo like
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: you didn't even know the pictures being taken. You're just
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: in the background. You're like, whoa, that's what I look like? Yeah?
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: That or going you know, if you'd eat like crap
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: for a while, and then you know the season's changed
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: and you go to put on a pair of jeans
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, those jeans that fit not
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: too long ago don't button.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess I outgrew these.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not a growing girl anymore so unless it's horizontally.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Anyway, So maybe I'll have a mild heart attack and
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: get by eating in.
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: Or about constant shaming by your family or something.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: That's not a bad idea.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: We could just call you a fat ass for you
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: know a while.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Fatty fatty two by four, whatever you got to say
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: to get me in anyway. The reason I brought up
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: the idea of a heart attack during sex is Matthew
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: mcconnie McConaughey, the actor, and he had put this in
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: his book quite a few years ago. We talked about
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: it at the time that his dad died having sex
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: with his mom. His mom and dad were having sex
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: and dad had a heart attack and died. I didn't
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: know this, You didn't, okay, So I'll just read from
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: TMZ today. Matthew McConaughey's mother had a bizarre request after
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: her husband died of a heart attack while having sex,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: and this had first been put in his book in
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty. We talked about it a lot on the air.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Speaking about his new book, The actor said, James Donald McConaughey,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: who was an alcoholic, his dad, wanted to die making
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: love to his wife. He always said that, I remember.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: That was an interesting part of the story is that
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: he regularly said to people, I want to die having
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: sex when I go, and he ended up dying having sex.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: WHOA okay.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Matthew McConaughey writes about when I got that call. It
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: was a Monday afternoon. I was in Austin, they were
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: in Houston. Mom said, your dad has moved on, but
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: she didn't tell me in the initial call. How when
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I got back to Austin where they were, he learned
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: that they had made love that morning at about six
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: thirty am. Morning sex, you know, some people like it,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: some people don't.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: It's how to start the day.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I've known people who don't like it. Don't think it's
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: a good way to start the day. I think you're wrong.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: But as soon as they finished having sex, so at
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: least they got to finish. You'd hate to die before
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: you did. Uh. He had a heart attack and died.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Given that his dad, James was naked when the paramedics arrived,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: of course, unless you're gonna unless you're gonna try to
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: dress a corpse before the paramedics get there, I might
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: do that. I might try to pull some sweats. Like
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: if I'm with my wife, she dies of a heart
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: attack while we're having sex, and I might try to
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: put some sweats on her before the paramedics get there.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: No, I mean do Okay, See, my brain's going into
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: like crime scene type stuff because there's like an investigation.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: You think they're gonna think I killed her? You never know?
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Why did you dress her?
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Why I thought you were having sex? Why is
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: she dressed?
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: All right? Given that James was naked when paramedics arrived,
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  Speaker 1: Matthew remembered them trying to cover him up as they
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: hauled him out to the gurney, but mom was having
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: none of it. She didn't want him covered up. My
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: mom's in the dryway, McConaughey writes, and she pulled the
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: sheet off of him. That's big Jim. He's gonna go
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: out how he went. Don't be trying to cover up
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: how he went out. He's in his birthday suit and
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: he's right there. Don't be covering that man up.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: I'm very confused by all of this.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Well, I think they're both crazy. As if. In case
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: you don't remember this nugget from the book, they had
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: had quite the tumultuous relationship. They beat the living crap
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: out of each other. According to Matthew McConaughey, mutual combat.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: They both beat each other up.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Mutual combat.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Well, that's an actual thing. The cops call it, you know.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: If they did decide, you know, it's mutual combat. You're
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: both beaten on each other. I'm not gonna hauld one
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  Speaker 1: of you off.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: They also married each other three times and divorced twice. Wow, yeah, twice.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: They got divorced three times. They got married and were
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: together there on that fateful morning at six thirty in
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  Speaker 1: the morning, still obviously into each other in their old age,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: enough that they had sex, though his heart could not
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: stand up to it.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Third time's the charm.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that third marriage. I'm not buying a wedding gift
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: for you, right Listen.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: I've already got you two gifts, both of you.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Enough it would be I'm not even sure I'm going
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to attend. Look, I have traveled all the way to
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Austin a couple of times. Yeah, just uh, I'll tell
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: you what the fifth time, I'll come back. That is
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: some nutty behavior.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: This is so bizarre that he wanted to die having
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: sex with her and that's what happened.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: And then he did, and then he did And.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: Is she upset or is she like, yeah, I'm good
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: or you know, I don't know.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: You mean I'm so good I stopped his heart.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Oh you mean I must really be something.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I'm something.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I am really something.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: This is fascinating.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: It kind of shows you why Matthew McConaughey is the
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: way he is. He's a pretty kookie dude, and obviously
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: his mom and dad were very kookie. That whole getting
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: divorced a couple of times then getting married three times
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: to the same person.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: I know a couple that has been married twice and
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: divorced twice, and after the second one they were like
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: all right, we tried this is not happening.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: So they tried it again. Yeah, good for them.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but there there was like drugs and stuff involved.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: So they got clean and then got remarried and they're like, wow,
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: I don't like you sober either.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: This is crazy, but that I mean three times.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: You would think at some point when somebody would say
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: how about you know you're in a fight, and one
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: of them says, that's it, I want a divorce. Okay,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: we've been down this road before. Maybe how about we
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: calm down. Yeah, let's discuss it in a week and
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: see if we still feel the same. Let's revisit this,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: let's table this, we'll circle back, circle all the corporate lines. Yes,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: because it seems like we've made some hasty decisions in
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: the past.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Wow, And she pulls the sheet off him. So he's
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: hauled out to the UH paramedics van completely naked as
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: an old man, because that's the way he came in
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: and that's the way he wanted to go out. All right,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: that's a good story.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: I have a question that might be inappropriate. I probably
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: shouldn't even ask it, but I know what you're asking.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Was he was he in performance modell.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Have you seen the movie Clerks that would lead me
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: to believe that, Yes, it stays that way you have.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: And then you're just stuck like that.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: You're stuck like that, Yeah, exactly, which is not a
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: bad way to go out, I guess interesting.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Open casket makes hey look at him.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Makes it difficult for the poor person who's got to
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: dress you at the funeral home, uncomfortable for them. What
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: a job my dad did that, dressed people at the
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: funeral home.
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  Speaker 2: My dad was an embalmer.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh wait a second, I just talked to your
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: dad the other day. How was this not nugget not known?
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Your dad embalmed dead people. Yeah, hebalmed dead people. Yeah, No,
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: he did it to live people as well.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: No, he was a paramedic.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: And then he ended up working at the funeral home
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  Speaker 3: and he was the embalmer. And he used to have
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: to spend the night there like, because they would work
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: different shifts because the bodies would come in at all
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: times during the day. And he said, one time he
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: was dressing this guy and the.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: Guy you would dress them yeow yeah, And.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: When this guy died with his legs crossed, and then
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: my dad uncrossed his legs and turned around to get
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: the guy's socks.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Of the guy's legs shot back, and my dad said
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: he almost pissed himself.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that would freak me out. I don't believe in
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: ghosts or any of that sort of stuff. But the
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: body starts moving on.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's got some great embalming story.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: How did I just find this out? We had him
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: on the air last week, probably wouldn't even have talked
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: about the trial.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can have him back to talk about dressing
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: dead people.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: If you don't know, if you're listening to this, you
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: didn't know. Katie's dad was a judge for many, many years,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: and we have him on to talk about lost stuff.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: But now we gotta talk to him about dressing dead people. Yeah.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: What's harder to get on a dress or pants? You
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: know that's something. The socks. What's the most difficult part,
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: the socks, touching that cold dead foot. I'm trying to
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: peel those socks. Have you ever put socks on a
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: little kid? You know how hard it is to put
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: socks on someone else. But if they're dead, the feel
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: of that dead skin, Oh my god, I can't even imagine.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Literal Morgs feet.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Oh god, dang it, that's rough. Okay, Well, we will
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: talk to uh Katie's dad in the future about dressing
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: dead people.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: You know, I have these old clothes at home that
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: I didn't know what to do with. Now I know
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: where I can put him. Yeah, send to the Morgs.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: Well, I guess that's it.