Latest / Alive, I Guess Podcast / Episode 24 - Sometimes, Nothing Be Happenin

Transcript

Episode 24 - Sometimes, Nothing Be Happenin · Alive, I Guess Podcast

• 0:00
  unknown: I'm live.
• 0:01
  unknown: I'ma live like it again.
• 0:03
  unknown: I'ma live like it's in the live like it's best.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'ma live like it's so we might as well talk about it.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Might as well talk about it.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on with y'all?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to your safe space.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, RJ, and this is the Alive I Guess Podcast.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, welcome.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you for joining.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've been here, welcome back.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you as always.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure y'all are following us on social media at Alive I Guess Podcast.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: For all inquiries or feedback, email us at alive I guesspodcast at gmail.com.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: For all I say this with love submissions, you would visit tinyurl.com slash AIGP advice.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And do not forget to hit us up and follow us, join the homies on Patreon for just seven dollars a month.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Today I decided we're gonna switch it up a little bit.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I know usually I'm one to talk about overcoming certain things, moving through journeys and processes, and sitting and developing new skills or learning something, overcoming something.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes that's not the case.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we're in a period of our life where nothing be going on.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's no character development, there's no plot, you just kind of feel like stuck.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Or just like in a rut, not really much forward movement.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I find myself with all my growth in those moments, even today, especially lately.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I'm in one of these periods, so I said, we're gonna talk about it.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: But before we do, you already know we gotta do a low gratitude.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening today, say something out loud that you are grateful for.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're watching, drop something below in the comments.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Today, I am grateful for my grandparents.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: I have been very fortunate to not lose any of my grandparents up until last year, was the first grandparent that I lost.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I am in my 30s, and I recognize that that is such a blessing.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: My grandparents were so instrumental in my upbringing and who I am today.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful for them.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very close to them, and I love them deeply.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So shout out to y'all, to the old folks out there, my people.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: But all right, let's get into it because sometimes nothing be happening.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now, look, when I say nothing, I truly mean like nothing be happening.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: So there's no big traumas, hardships, you know, obstacles to overcome, and there's no like significant things happening.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like nothing.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like you just kind of going through your day-to-day, and it feels like you're in this routine, and it feels kind of like is something gonna switch up here?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like that, that's the moment in time I'm talking to.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's between the occasions where something significant happens, when you're not really building up anything, or at least you don't have an understanding that that's what's going what's going on.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it feels like you it's really just nothing happening.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like nothing's technically wrong, but nothing's technically right either.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: You get what I mean?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not depression, it's not stagnation, it just is like that moment where it feels like nothing's developing, nothing's moving forward, but nothing's also crumbling at the same time.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: It can feel very unsettling for somebody like me who's very task-oriented and is always looking to get the next thing done, but it's a very important part of the process.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: But it's uncomfortable too, because like the world keeps moving and it feels like everyone else is hitting these milestones or crossing things off their list, and you just sitting here twiddling your thumbs, waiting for something to happen.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Look, there ain't a lot of people who are gonna talk about it because again, it seems like there's no significance to this period of time, but um, this episode isn't really about fixing anything, it's just really calling it out and acknowledging the fact that it's there, and also seeing the significance of it because I truly believe, like I said, this is an important part of the process.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be busy all the time, there isn't a lesson in everything all the time.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you just need a moment to let the universe do its thing and you just sit back and be patient.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, back to the point of it feeling uncomfortable.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Us as people, especially today, especially like millennial Gen Z, like our generation.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a Gen Z or I'm a millennial, let me be clear.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we are conditioned to always be moving, growing, achieving, accomplishing, looking for the next thing to do.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: So when nothing's happening or it feels like nothing is developing, our brain just kind of like looks for the next thing to tackle.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And when nothing's really there, when you've done all that you can do, it's just a matter of letting things play out.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: You start to feel like maybe I did something wrong.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just doesn't sit well in our body.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: It kind of feels like we messed up or we failed in some way, and it's not necessarily the nothingness, the doing nothing that's the problem.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's the things you kind of think about and can convince yourself that it's happening, or like things that are happening in the background, the things you tell yourself.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for example, grinding away at everyday life, going to the gym, building this podcast out, trying to develop in personal areas.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually, there comes a point where you just have to be consistent.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: There isn't gonna be anything significant that happens along the way.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna hit a plateau in your fitness journey.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna hit a stagnant point in your self-development journey.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna hit a stagnant point when you are building out a brand.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna feel like there is no forward motion, but everything is in the works behind the scenes, whether you see it or not.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: But to you, it just looks like all this work you're putting in is just kind of spinning its wheels and you aren't doing anything when that is not the case at all.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: All of March up until maybe like end of April, I felt like I was putting in a lot of work, a lot of effort on different fronts going on in my life, and I felt like there was no real traction, nothing was really happening.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: It felt like everything was so still, but also there was this internal knowing that I knew I just had to be patient and let things develop because that's just kind of like a law of I don't know, attraction, the universe.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just know this to be a thing where it's like the internal work usually works a lot quicker than the external results.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I've done a lot of the internal work, the in-house work, and I'm waiting on the external to catch up.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that's where I was for a good month.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I, in the beginning, I'm like, God damn, like I know I'm working hard, I know I'm putting forth effort, I know I'm doing everything correct.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I not moving?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: When that wasn't the case at all.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I looked at every area in my life and I felt like everything came to a pause.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: When in reality, everything was moving at a much slower increment because the bigger significant shifts have already happened.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So now you got to do this slow, quiet work where things are kind of going on underneath the surface to get you to that next level.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that literally happened with everything.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: The fitness slowed up.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like, bro, the scale is not moving.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like I'm getting no stronger.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: The podcast is just staying really consistent with the numbers.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: I started applying for jobs, and we know how that's been going.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: A train wreck.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: But then all of a sudden, everything started moving.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like at the same time, it was the wildest thing.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I started getting interviews, I started losing some more weight, my muscles started going up, I went viral, which was random.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything just kind of shifted at the same time.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it reminded me of this book I read.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: The book was called Atomic Habits.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And at first I thought atomic was like atomic, like huge, but it's like atomic, like very small things.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: And in the book, it spoke to this idea of things moving, like process moving, like an ice cube melting in a room.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And let's say the room starts at zero degrees and you turn the dial one degree, for the first 35 degrees, that ice ain't gonna melt.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: As you are waiting for it to move notch by notch by notch by notch, 35 degrees, or whatever the melting point of ice is like a degree before it, it feels like nothing's happening.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: But when you hit that 36th degree, that temperature that melts ice, then you see the progress.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: To you, it seems like nothing was going on.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: But behind the scenes, it was working its way up so that you could see it on the external.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: So remembering that, I'm like, okay, things are moving.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Let me not lose myself, let me not get frustrated, and let me just stay consistent.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it's important for you to stay consistent because that'll keep you going.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're gonna hit this period of nothingness.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna hit a period where it feels like there are no shifts, there are no changes, there are no big growths, there are no deficits or declines.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna be very important that you keep your head in the game and you keep just moving forward and don't lose yourself and think of yourself any negative in any negative way because this is happening, because it's all part of it.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: But again, not here to fix.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're here to just talk about it.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, as I'm in this period where it feels like I'm at a standstill in every area of life, I tried to find a way to shake things up.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I tried to find a way to make myself more busy so that I could have some forward movement in some way, and that just makes things worse because you already are juggling a lot.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: You want to add something else to your plate?
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna feel like a strain.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're gonna go from feeling like nothing's happening to feeling completely overwhelmed.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, okay, maybe I can't do that.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I know I'm seeing other people with some motion, and I'm sitting here just stuck in a standstill.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I know comparison will always make things worse in anything, but really when it feels like they're moving forward, the world's moving forward, and you're not, whew, I'll do a doozy on you.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And today, in the midst of this grind culture, hustle culture, where it feels like if you aren't grinding yourself to the goddamn ground, you're like a failure.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: When you don't have nothing going on, it feels like you tend to feel even worse about yourself.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like, as a culture, it's like you always gotta be moving, you gotta be hustling, you gotta have a side hustle, you gotta have hobbies and projects and all this shit.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like not everybody wants that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to work myself to the ground and fill all my time with something.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to wake up at 5 a.m.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to work a five to nine.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, not honestly, not all the time, forever.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to have three different jobs.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not talking about, obviously, if you need to do that to make ends meet.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about for the sake of being someone who's always on the grind.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't care what you think.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: If I can sustain the way that I can by what I'm doing currently, I'm gonna do that.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've grinded it out, I've worked a lot of hours, I've worked multiple jobs, I've worked a nine to five, and then the five to damn a nine, five to one, two, I've done all that.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: It got me to the same exact point.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's just a different time.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Before you might have got me, but today, when the nothingness hits, I'm just gonna let it hit.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna try and work my way out of it because I understand it's temporary and it's part of it, part of the process.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, that's easier said than done when it comes to how you feel in your peer group.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it feels like if you ain't grinding, you falling behind.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you aren't pursuing something bigger, larger, starting a business, starting some venture that is just super significant and big, and have all these different things going for yourself, you feel like you aren't doing enough.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's just kind of how we've developed as a culture.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get me started on capitalism, but that's where it stems from.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then naturally, you got people around asking you, like, what are you up to?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna feel a need to pull everything that you can that shows that you are moving forward.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody wants to be like nothing, nothing.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: I've been up to nothing, like, because there's a certain judgment that comes with it, there's some inquiry that comes with it, like nothing, like you don't want to do nothing.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: It did something happen, like, there's just a whole aspect of anxiety that be coming with that question, and I know that personally because people ask about work during this time, and before I just get really like nervous and feel like I gotta explain myself.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: But since being so open about the fact that I am unemployed and I know that I'm still looking, like, there's no shame in that.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: But initially, that's very anxiety-provoking to ask what you up to, and you really ain't got nothing going on, or you got a lot going on and nothing's moving forward.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't really know which is worse to feel when you're asked that question.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, what happens?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: You find yourself on social media, scrolling, seeing people accomplish these things, go on these trips, get the new job, start the family, get married, and it feels like you are being left behind.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have people who love you and care about you trying to give advice because they love you, but that just adds more onto the feeling of that shame and that guilt because you feel like you got enough irons in the fire, you're not trying to add no more, or people are just projecting what they wanted to do and trying to live through you.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've been told so many different career paths I should have taken in my life.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was told I need to be a nurse, I was told I should model, I was told I should be an engineer, an architect engineer, which I almost went with.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was told so many different things, but like that's what y'all want.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't necessarily want that.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: And podcaster, I did not see coming, but here we are.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: So imagine if we would have listened to those things people told me.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't be here today.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: But again, they do it because they love you, which is understandable.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes the best thing you can do is sit still and get some clarity or let things be still or feel like they're stagnant and just kind of routine, because there can be some clarity that comes with it.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: There can be realizations, revelations, different things that can be awakened in that stillness.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: But if you always trying to manufacture something to do, you might miss it.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Going back to that ice cube analogy.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: Think of this in terms of like days.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: You start at day one, nothing happens.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Day two, nothing happens.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: You go one week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, you go all the way up to 35 days of you doing the same thing and you putting in the work and you remembering, like being told, if I do the work, you'll get the results, and those results not happening.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then on that 36th day, something starts to happen.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: That in between, where you feel like nothing's moving forward, can be the most important part of the process.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of things that grow grow in like silence, they grow under the ground, they grow when nobody's looking.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Look at plants, look at flowers, look at your kid.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like you turn around one day, look back at pictures, and be like, damn, this little boy has grown like four inches, but you didn't really see that because you just in the daily grind.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Flowers, some of the most beautiful things, grow under the ground and do most of the hard work before you ever see it come up and show its fruit or you know, beauty.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, like that limbo can be very important.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: That recalibration, the rest, the readjustment doesn't always have to be like something huge or attached to an event, and it doesn't always look productive from the outside.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes a lot of work gets done in the daily grind, in the usual routine, in the moments where you feel like there's no developments and things are really developing, especially in this last year of literally having to be forced into a moment of stillness and recalibration.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: I recognize that there can be more work and clarity done in the stillness than there is with like forcing the busyness.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: I could have been working myself with all different kinds of projects that really had no meaning, but it felt busy in the moment, or I could have sat still like I did for that first month and really sit with the discomfort, which led me to think about what I really wanted, which really led me to figuring out a plan and moving forward, which has allowed me to grow in many ways.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: But that wouldn't have come if I would have just hopped to the next thing just for the sake of being busy.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, if you feel like you ain't got nothing going on, your life has value still, even if you feel like you're not building towards something.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to build towards something in order for you to have value, like it doesn't attach to like your worth or anything, because this is one of the most important parts of seeing things through, of building things out.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: You can't just be going, going, going all the time.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be able to take a moment to sit back and look at the progress, or just sit back and let things develop.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, you're gonna rush the process and it's not gonna be built on a sturdy foundation.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: So just let the the stillness be sometimes.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like, there is no schedule for your journey.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: There is no schedule for becoming yourself, and the one that you have in your head, the idea of the schedule that you have in your head, was not even really yours to begin with.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: It was probably put on you through societal or environmental pressures.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there is no rule book on when you have to get things done.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: If that were the case, I would have a few kids.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm supposed to have a house, I'm supposed to have a stable career.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the case at all.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: I got two cats.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: I got a wife, had a wife, been essentially married since I was 22.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the correct timeline, right?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, just do what you need to do on your time because this is your life.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let nobody else dictate your life and when you get things done.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: And other people's momentum is not evidence that yours isn't working.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, everybody's on their own journey, everybody has their own path in times of which they are up, in times in which they are down, and in times where they ain't got much going on.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like life is full of seasons, like even in your personal life, not just obviously like seasons, but sometimes you're gonna be in a different season.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: I recognize I just came out of a winter.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was a winter.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes things gotta.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: Die and be still and reset so that you can move into that spring and start to bloom and develop.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: I fully recognize that's where I was, and that also helped me be okay with the nothingness because I'm like, okay, this is part of the process.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's uncomfortable as hell.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: But we're gonna push through, we're gonna manage, and we're gonna prepare for the growth, the bloom, because it's coming, and I'm sitting in it now, and your season and my season might look a little different.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: Your season might be a few weeks, my season might be a few months, some people's season might be a year, but it's all specific to you and your journey, so you really cannot compare.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: You can do the same thing another did step by step, the exact same way, you still might get different results because there are different factors that play into it.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: So this is really on your time.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Don't compare it to anyone else's because it's it's very unique, it only you can walk your path.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: So don't compare it to anyone else's.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if you try to like force progress because you're afraid of the stillness, you just gonna create chaos, you're not gonna create progress, it's not gonna speed up the process.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: You working on thing A ain't gonna speed up the process for thing B.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's just gonna add to thing A.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not what you were trying to do in the first place.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, don't waste your time trying to give yourself busy work because that's all it is.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Where you are right now is not a reflection of where you're going, it's just part of the journey, and you are allowed to just exist, just be without anything significant going on.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: You can just be alive, so stop trying to fix it, just sit with it, identify what it is is trying to tell you because you can learn something from this moment if you are in a moment of nothingness night right now.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sit back and see what is going on, what is actually shifting.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because I promise you, when you sit with it and you take a minute to take in everything, there's something going on, you just haven't noticed it because it's not this big external thing yet.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yet, that's coming, but right now you got to do the underground work, and that's what's happening.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: So sit with it and figure out what that is, and protect yourself from all the noise out there that's telling you that being still and not grinding to death is the wrong thing to do.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like that, let that go, because that is the most unhealthy shit ever, and that is something that was literally designed to keep you feeding the wheel of capitalism.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: So don't listen to that, don't even look and compare yourself to people on social media because again, social media is a highlight reel, and it's all curated and made up.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: So let that let that go.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And something that I understand was important for me in a world of people who want to see you do the next big thing.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Find somebody who will just let you be and exist and lean on them for support because you need that safe space to just be a person who's not building towards anything.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna be helpful for me.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, it is my wife, and I'm able to not grind be in go mode.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: I can be whatever I need, but she is there to support me through every aspect of life, including the ones that feel like is just nothing.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: But look at it this way: that limbo phase, the nothingness, the in-between, however you want to look at it, is not the end of your story or the end of your chapter.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's like taking a moment to take a breath before your next step.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes you need a longer breath than the next person, and that's cool because it's your breath, it's your life.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: So be alright, take your breath, take it in, take this moment to not be busy and enjoy it because I guarantee you, in this world, you will be back busy in no time.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: So enjoy the quiet while it lasts.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: All right, y'all.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know what time it is.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's time for I Say This With Love.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: Again, hit up the tiny URL link if you would like to submit your situation for a chance to have it read during this segment.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I don't even know how to explain this.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've been talking to someone for like four months, and everything is genuinely really good.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Question mark, question mark, but I keep waiting for something to go wrong.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: My last relationship really did a number on me, and I don't trust my own judgment anymore.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: You feel like that's fear or intuition?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: I say this with love historically before my relationship with my wife.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was in a lot of different situations with women who were in the same position you were in, where they were jaded from past relationships and they were always waiting on the shoe to drop, and they wound up doing something, severing the tie, sabotaging the relationship before they thought I would hurt them.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was never going to hurt them.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's not in my character.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not no cheater, I'm not no weird ass individual.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'd rather cut ties before I do some funny shit.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: So being the person who was on the other side of this, I would encourage you to do some self-reflection.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't know if you are a woman or a man or anything in between, but specifically for like a woman's intuition, that intuition be strong, like real strong, undeniable.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: And usually that intuition sits in your gut.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like that gut feeling, you can't shake it.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's your intuition.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: When you have this fear in your head, that's exactly what it is.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's fear.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I would ask you to examine where you're feeling this feeling and see if you are noticing patterns with this person that are reminding you of your last relationship, or are there patterns within yourself that are making you scared?
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like you really gotta figure out what it is you're feeling so that you can see if it's them or if it's you.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: Once you do that, I feel like you'll have your answer.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think right now you just got a lot of high emotion, a lot of high anxiety, and that anxiety is whooping you.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: But like, four months, you still early.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, a lot don't develop in those first four months.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, I think you should do some reflecting.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, I'm gonna say it tombloe in the face.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you do not have one, therapy helps, help you process some things, and that can also give you some clarity.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, you gotta sit with it because if you don't see anything going on, then that seems like it's more internal.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: But if you feel it in your gut, like uh something's off, then that might be your intuition.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: If it's more so your head, that might be your fear.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: Hope this helps.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: All right, y'all.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: That is all for today's episode.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: As a reminder, make sure you are following us on the socials, hitting us up on the email if you got any inquiries or feedback, visiting the tiny URL link for all I say this with love submissions, and follow us on the Patreon, man.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's some good, good stuff on there.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: Some bonus content, exclusive content, bonus episodes, vlogs, behind the scenes.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really putting it out there.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: So check it out.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: You might enjoy it, but I appreciate y'all nonetheless.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, I'm RJ.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Alive I Guess podcast, and I'll see y'all same time next week.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a live like.