Latest / Celeste The Therapist / EP 503 Protecting Your Peace: Practical Tools for Navigating Chaos

Transcript

EP 503 Protecting Your Peace: Practical Tools for Navigating Chaos · Celeste The Therapist

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You are now tuned in to Celeste, the therapist podcast. Hello,
0:05
my name is Celeste. Thank you so much for giving me a try. If
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you are new here, I want to say thank you so much for checking me
0:12
out. What we do here is I talk about
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areas of our lives that we get stuck in. I
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talk about why we get stuck and I help you shift the way
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you think about it by giving you practical tools. I'm
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all about using what you have, starting where you can. And
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I think a lot of times people tend to give up because they
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don't understand why they're feeling the things that they're
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feeling or why things are happening. And I find that
0:39
the more educated we are about a topic, the
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better it is for us to create change in our
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life. If you are a long time listener, thank you so much for
0:49
sticking it out with me. I appreciate you. If you
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enjoy these episodes that I do, Do me a
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favor, share it with somebody that you love. If you want a topic
0:59
discussed, all you gotta do is email me, info at celestatherapist.com.
1:05
If you wanna follow me, you can follow me everywhere at Celeste Therapist.
1:09
Also, I have a whole wellness center that I created called
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Shifting the Way You Think. And if you want to learn more about
1:17
the wellness center, get involved, attend 1 of the classes. All
1:21
you got to do is go to dot com again.
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That's dot com.
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All right, let's get into this amazing episode.
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Hey, hey, hey, beautiful people. If you are listening to
1:38
me on audio, I am on YouTube. So if you wanna follow
1:42
me and subscribe, go head over to YouTube. I'm excited to
1:46
do this episode today. There's a lot happening in the
1:49
world. And if you are new here, I want
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you to use this podcast as a teaching tool. So
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grab a notebook, a pen, and take
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notes, right? Take what you can, leave what you can't. My
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goal in this podcast is to help shift the way you think. I
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feel like we get really stuck in our emotions and it makes
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it really challenging to get through life. And today,
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you know, the topic I wanna talk about is protecting your peace. So
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with all the things that are happening, I want you
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to be able to understand how to like name your emotions, Your
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emotions are very valid. And I want to help you think about
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ways you can work on yourself because our system
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was not meant to live in this high chaotic state,
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right? It breaks down. And I know we can't
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change, I can't change the pain that people are experiencing. I'm
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talking to people every day. I can't change the
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chaos in the world, but my goal is to help offer
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you another way of kind of doing
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it, because I know for a lot of people, we weren't really
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taught how to do it, right? A lot of times we're drinking it away, eating
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it away. sleeping it away, and then we're
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struggling, right? So I want to try to help you rethink what
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that looks like. So, you know, get your notebook, get your
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pen. First, I want you to think about naming emotions, right?
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The first part of how you're going to navigate everything
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that's going on is being mindful on what you're
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feeling. And I'm just going to put this emotion wheel up. And if
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you are not, uh, watching it, um, you
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can actually Google feelings, will or emotion chart. This
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specific one I got from beam is the organization and
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it shows different emotions, right? There's the main one on this
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one is kind of like shook, joyful, beast mode, peaceful, sad, heated.
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Uh, you may find a different variation. But I want you
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to start with getting an emotion chart and just
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kind of looking at it, even now in this moment, just kind of checking in with what
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you're feeling. When it comes to naming emotions, and
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if you are not watching it,
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I want you to take a deep breath in and out, just
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like that. Now
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I want you to take a moment to reflect, right? Think about
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what you're feeling right now in this moment. And
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if you can name your feeling, right? It
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could be anything from being happy to feeling frustrated. And
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then if you are in a safe space, you're not driving, I wanna
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encourage you to close your eyes just for a moment. I
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want you to visualize your emotions, right? You
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could think of them as colors or shapes. Like
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what do they look like to you right now? Doing
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this can help you identify and articulate what you're
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feeling. Now, once you have
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a sense of what you're feeling, I want
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you to try to write it down. Being
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able to write it down can really help you gain
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more insight into what's going on. So
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if you're feeling anxious, let's just use the news, for example, right?
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Instead of saying, I'm anxious, try
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to dig deeper. I want you to
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ask yourself, what specifically is causing
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that anxiety? Is it
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fear of the unknown? Maybe being
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concerned about a family or a friend or even yourself?
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Having a sense of helplessness about a situation, right? Now,
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when you pinpoint the root cause, you can start to
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understand your feelings better. So I'm going
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to stay with that example. So let's say you realize that your anxiety
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is stemming from worried about your parents' health. Now
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that you've named the emotion and the cause, you
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can kind of challenge that and
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maybe even call them and check in on them. Let's say that your parent is
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not doing well, right? And you
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don't know what's going on with them. And
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you're like taking them to the doctors, right? I'm
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just using this as an example. You can
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say, I'm doing the best I can right now with the information I have. A
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lot of times when it comes to worry, fear, anxiety, those
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kinds of things, our mind needs answers. And sometimes we
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don't have answers, right? We don't have, we don't understand what's
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going on. We don't know. And that can be challenging for
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our mind. And in those instances, you
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say out loud, you say to yourself, I don't know what's going on,
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but I'm doing the best that I can right now. That's important. I
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want to talk about the power of perspective. So we
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talked about the importance of naming our emotion. And
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if you're not familiar with the feelings wheel or have an emotion chart,
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I encourage you to screenshot it,
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put it on your phone. in the morning, before
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you go to bed, when you're like feeling something, checking
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with how you're feeling, give it a name. Giving
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it a name, talking about it out loud, I promise you
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it gives it less power. But I want to
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talk about like the power of perspective, right? So
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oftentimes we can get stuck in a single way of viewing the circumstances,
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which make it feel even heavier. Like the example I gave
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with your parent, like, I don't know what's going
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on with them. And we go into worst case scenario
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with a lot of things that happens. And a lot of times it's because, you
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know, if you want to know, why does that happen? Why am I always in survival mode? Why
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am I always going into worst case scenario? a
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lot of times your system or the ways the
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things that you've experienced has may have been hard
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and your mind is just taking old information when
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that feeling comes in right it's taking old information it's bringing it
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up to the front and it's trying to get you ready And
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so that's what happens, right? We are humans when
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it comes to our system and that bias
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that we have around the thing that's negative, it
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was done to protect us, right? And a lot of times that happens.
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And if you look at my last episode, I did episode
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502, I believe it is. I talked about understanding negativity
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bias and how it affects our mind and body and why it happens. If
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you haven't listened to that episode and you're struggling with being
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in survival mode and thinking negative all
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the time, check out that episode, episode 502. And
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so being mindful on the fact that sometimes you
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can get stuck in one way of thinking. Let's
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just take my wellness center that I created, for example, I've
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never done it before. There was a lot of fear. I could
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get stuck in like, is this really going to work? Right?
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Because that's a real possibility. So a lot of times people
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just get stuck in, is this really going to work and never try. So
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be really mindful of that when it comes to that, be really
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mindful of that. So cognitive reframing, so
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it looks at a situation from a different angle. So
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for example, instead of thinking, I can't handle this, try reframing
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it to, I'm doing the best that I can and that's enough. It's
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okay to feel what you're feeling, right? But shifting
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your perspective can really lighten the load. The feelings
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are very valid. But making a decision off
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of a feeling is the issue that comes into play. Me
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not deciding to open my wellness center because of
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the feeling of fear and if this is going to work, a
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lot of people have come through here since I opened it in November 2024. Those
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people wouldn't have been able to be in this space if I allowed fear to stop me.
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Right? So cognitive reframing, all it does, it doesn't tell
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you like, oh, don't feel that. It's not gaslighting you about how you're
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feeling. All it's doing is helping you think
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of things with a new lens and a new perspective. And
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in order for that to happen, not only is it about being
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able to consciously say and reframe, but also
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feeding your system with new information. If
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you're always with people that are negative, if all
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your time is spent on social media and looking at
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all of these glitz and glams and things, or hard
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things that are happening in the world, you're going to
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find yourself always thinking in that way because that's what you're
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exposing your mind to. Right? Anytime you're
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struggling, ask yourself, okay, what's going on? What have I been doing?
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You know, who have I been around? What have I been exposing my mind to? Have
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I been moving my body? Right? being
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mindful on what you're feeling and really checking
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in with yourself and asking yourself what's really going on is so important.
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We have so much power in our mind, but we haven't been taught how to
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utilize the power that we have. And the whole purpose of
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this podcast is to help you shift the way you think, right?
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So you can really start to engage in the thoughts that are
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coming in and not allowing your survival instincts
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to only take over. Right? I named my wellness center
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Shifting the Way You Think because I really want people to learn
11:56
new ways of operating in life. So we
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talked about the importance of naming our emotion. We talked about
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the importance of looking at things in a different perspective.
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And now I want to kind of help you think about practical tools, right? That's
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one thing about this podcast is that I want to educate you about what's
12:16
going on, but I also want you to gain practical
12:20
tools so you can understand how you can deal
12:23
with the situation that's happening right in front of you. I
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hope you're enjoying the episode. Quick announcement. I
12:30
want to give you some ways you can support, right? I have two books. One
12:33
is called Relationship Goals. It's a guide to a healthy relationship. I
12:37
also have a guided journal. And if you find yourself stuck
12:41
in thoughts, want to get your thoughts on paper, I ask you different
12:44
questions. And I also ask you how you're feeling. I provide
12:47
you with the feelings chart. If you go to CelesteTherapist.com, you
12:52
could find 365 days of intentional living along
12:56
with relationship goals. Another way you can support me,
12:59
I have this wellness center that I'm so excited about
13:03
called Shifting the Way You Think Wellness Center. At my center, I
13:06
do not want finances to be a reason why people can't get what
13:10
they need. So if you wanna donate a class to someone, please
13:14
feel free to go to my website, stwyt.com, and
13:18
you can give a donation. The classes run between 15 and
13:24
$35. My goal is for everyone to be able
13:27
to access these services regardless of finances. So
13:31
if you can donate, please donate to your Girl Center. I
13:34
would be greatly appreciated. All right, y'all, let's get back
13:38
into this amazing episode. All
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right, let's get into practical tools. So one
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of the practical tools that you can work on utilizing when
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it comes to what you're feeling is journaling, writing
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down your thoughts is very therapeutic and it can help
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you gain clarity. I promise you when you keep everything
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inside your mind, uh, let's say I just use the
14:02
wellness center. Like, Oh, am I going to really be able to do this wellness center? And
14:06
then my mind thinks about ways things may not have worked out only
14:10
But if I'm writing it down and I'm challenging that thought,
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I won't find myself ruminating and feeling so
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stuck about that specific thing. Mindfulness and
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meditation is really important. When you're able to
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be mindful and work on meditate, it doesn't mean you have... Set
15:43
boundaries, so it's crucial, especially now to set boundaries with
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social media, with the news, right? There are so many
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keyboard warriors that are going
15:54
on right now, and people are engaging with keyboard warriors, getting
15:58
yourself all hot and bothered for what? Like, think
16:01
about it, like, how, why does this matter? Why do I need to go back
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and forth with them? Why am I allowing myself to engage in
16:09
all of this stuff? And I don't even know this person not paying my bills. All
16:12
they're doing is creating more stress, create boundaries about
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what you choose to give your time to create boundaries with
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what conversations you choose to have. I
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say this to my clients who if they're working at a place and let's
16:27
say there's some kind of stress or some
16:30
kind of thing that's happening at work. So at
16:33
work, all this chaos is happening. Then you get off the phone, you
16:37
call your coworker, girl, can you believe what happened? You're taking
16:41
that chaos and you're bringing it home and then you're engaging with
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it and you're activated and you're wasting time for what? The
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more you start to recognize like where you play a role
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in what you're feeling, I promise you life looks differently. I'm
16:56
not saying that the world isn't chaotic. I'm not saying that things that are happening
17:00
at work isn't crazy, but don't let work rule how
17:03
you feel and take over all of your day, all of
17:06
your weekend. Because you've been doing it for so
17:10
long, it probably seems impossible, but I promise you it's possible if
17:13
you just take baby steps. Creative outlets
17:17
are really, really huge and
17:20
working on seeking support. I also want you to think
17:24
about shifting focus on what you can control, right?
17:27
So focusing on what you control rather than what you can't, while
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we may not be able to change the world overnight, we can work
17:36
on our reactions and how we choose to
17:39
respond to chaos, right? We got to
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really be mindful in what we're choosing. A lot
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of times we're so used to choosing chaos, we don't even realize that we're part of
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the reason why we're feeling so chaotic. So
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some small action you can consider. So consider volunteering in
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your community, donating. to a cause you believe
17:59
in, checking in on family and friends. Those small things can
18:03
create a ripple effect, especially when you're feeling powerful, especially
18:07
when you feel like you want to do something, but you don't have much to give. Even
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if it's like, let me check on this person. Let me volunteer. Let
18:15
me do something. That can really help you a lot. Mindfulness
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and self-care. So mindfulness, practicing, being in
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the moment can reduce the feelings of helplessness. When it
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comes to anxiety, I tell you, if you've listened to this before, anxiety
18:30
loves to live in the past and loves to worry about
18:33
the future. So if you see my hands, when we're doing this,
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we're not... We're in a way
18:40
to create peace. You cannot create peace by worrying about the future. You
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cannot create peace by dwelling on the past. So really being
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mindful of creating some mindfulness practices that
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includes joy, relaxation, spending time in nature, exercising,
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things that don't cost money. You know, we live in a country that's
19:01
very, well, consumerism. So
19:04
like, that's why when I started episodes, I get a notebook, get a pen. Right.
19:08
When it comes to, uh, especially now, I just want to be, I
19:12
just want to say this too, when it comes to consumerism, start
19:16
saving your money, stop spending money on things you don't need. Right.
19:20
I sell things. I sell my books, my courses, but I don't push
19:23
stuff on people. Right. And even with my wellness center,
19:27
if people don't have it, I say, Hey, reach out to us. We got you
19:31
because I feel like healing shouldn't cost money the way it costs. So
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I really want you to be mindful of. Like what
19:38
you're spending your money on because financial struggles
19:42
can create a lot of mental health issues and a lot of like problems
19:45
in your mind. And I want you to be mindful of
19:49
what you're spending money on and asking yourself, do I really need this?
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That's something over the last few years I've been working on and what's helped me
19:56
kind of work on it too. It's listening to people about it,
20:00
listening to financial gurus, right? So when it comes to
20:03
self care, I talk about moving your body, uh, what you're
20:07
eating and your sleep, but I also want to add in the financial finances into
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it too, with everything going up and being so high, be
20:14
mindful on where you're spending your money. I promise you it matters. Music
20:23
and arts, like, you'd be surprised, like, especially music for
20:26
me is so healing. I love arts. Like,
20:30
I love nature. Like, all of these things help, right?
20:35
And the last thing I want to say is community and connections. So, building connections
20:38
is important. Join community groups, online forums, or social media
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groups where you can share feelings. And I want to
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be clear when I say social media groups and online forums, productive ones,
20:48
not the ones that be all over the place. If you're finding your spirits not
20:52
settled in a forum, get out of it, please. You have power
20:55
over that. But you'll be surprised. Being
20:59
able to express and be around like-minded people that are very solution-oriented will
21:03
really help you curve that feeling. Don't do
21:07
this in isolation. We were never meant to be in isolation. And,
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you know, when we come together as a community, we can work on creating change.
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I promise you, like, we're stronger together than we
21:19
are apart. So I
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really hope that was helpful. My goal is
21:26
not to keep you on long, to really give you
21:29
these small nuggets to help you really think about what you can
21:32
do. A lot of times, we're not used to that. We didn't see our parents think about what
21:36
they can do. We didn't see our caregivers. We didn't see
21:39
our aunt. We didn't see people do things
21:43
that bring them joy. We just seen people operate in survival mode.
21:46
We seen people operate struggling. And
21:50
so like this self-care thing that I talk about, like I know when
21:53
we hear it sometimes on social media, on TV, there's a
21:56
price tag involved. When it came to self-care
22:00
in the past, I just seen this post on Instagram and it just won
22:04
my spirit. It said, when it comes to healing and self-care,
22:07
it was never created. I
22:11
mean, it was never started with like, oh, what you
22:14
need to buy, or there was not this access that wasn't available
22:18
to certain people. It was about food, moving your
22:21
body, what do you eat and who are you around? I
22:24
want you to try to get to basics. I don't want you to keep telling
22:28
yourself, well, I don't have this and I don't have that, so I can't do this. I
22:31
want you to say, you can say, I don't have this, I don't have that, but not that I can't
22:35
do this. Start where you are. Really small
22:38
example, I really wanted to talk about mental health. I wanted
22:41
to create something. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I
22:45
started with posting on social media over 10 years
22:48
ago. Over 10 years ago, I started posting
22:52
on social media, and here I am now with a wellness
22:55
center creating programming for people to
22:59
work on being well, right? If
23:03
I didn't start with that social media post, I would have never understood
23:06
the possibilities that was available to me. When
23:10
it comes to struggling in this chaotic world right now and all you
23:13
know is struggle, start with something small. Maybe it's
23:16
even like, let me just be mindful on how much time I'm spending on
23:20
social media and I'm really checking in with myself with how
23:23
I'm feeling. Starting small will allow you
23:26
to see the bigger picture and the bigger things that you're able to do.
23:30
I'm really passionate about this because I find that
23:33
we suffer because we don't know in any other
23:37
way. And I've worked with people for over 20 years.
23:41
And what I've learned is that educating people about
23:44
mental health, this thing that we can't see and really normalizing it
23:47
for people has been such a life changer for so
23:51
many people. It brings me so much joy that I'm able to
23:54
do this work and bring this work to my community. And I
23:58
did it with so much fear, but the outcomes
24:01
and the ways that people have been able to be healed The way
24:05
that people have been able to be educated just brings me so much joy. So
24:10
if anything I ever say resonates for you, understand you have the power to
24:13
create change. But first, start having faith and believing in
24:16
yourself. When you start having faith and when you start believing in
24:20
yourself, I promise you nobody can take that away from you. So
24:24
until next time, beautiful people, I will talk to