Latest / Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast / Why We Fight with Those We Love

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Why We Fight with Those We Love · Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast

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Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
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Do you ever wonder why some of the worst fights
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you have are with people that you love? I mean,
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what goes on inside of us that makes us do things
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like that? Today we'll unpack the reasons why
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we fight with those we love the most. I'm Dave
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Drewy, and this is Living on the Edge with Chip
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Ingram. We're continuing our series, Building
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Authentic Community, How to Lift Up Those You
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Love. And today, Chip starts right where a lot
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of our pain actually originates, conflict with
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the people we love the most. He opens with a
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story of a father, a park bench, and a conversation
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no parent ever wants to have before turning to
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James chapter four to uncover what's really driving
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our worst fights. It's not what you'd expect,
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and it's not really about the other person at
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all. Now let's get started with today's message
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titled, Why We Fight With Those We Love. I want
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you to allow your mind to go to a park. It's
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a beautiful sunny day in your mind's eye. Big
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fluffy white clouds, the sky's very blue. It's
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a beautiful park with a lot of greenery. And
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as the camera of your mind's eye zooms in, there's
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a bench. And in the background, there's children
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running and playing and doing what children do,
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but it's kind of white noise. And as you zoom
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in, you see there's a little girl who's about
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maybe eight or nine years old. She has little
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pink tails. She's really cute. She's got a few
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freckles across her nose. And you see a man sitting
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on the bench that's obviously her father. And
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he looks very uncomfortable. As you watch from
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a distance, he kind of moves here, moves there.
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And you can tell even from a distance, it's just
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chit -chat. He has his keys and he keeps flipping
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his keys from one direction to the other because
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that's what dads do when they have to say something
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very hard to a very young child. And they don't
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know exactly how to say it or exactly what to
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say. As he prepares this speech that he's rehearsed
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in his mind over and over and over, and this
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is the moment of truth. He picked her up from
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their home that's about a mile away. He thought
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the park would be... kind of the best place to
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break the news. And as he fidgets and tries to
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figure out as a grown man how to break the news
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to this little eight or nine year old who is
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daddy's girl, the silence is broken by this little
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innocent comment. And she looks up at him and
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she says, daddy? He goes, yeah, hon. He said,
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are you gonna come home soon? Are you gonna come
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back to live with me and mommy? I really miss
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you. And he realizes that all the rehearsing
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of his speech in his mind didn't prepare him
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for this and everything in him wants to start
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crying, but he holds back the tears. He says,
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well, honey, that's why we came to the park today.
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I needed to tell you something. See, daddy's
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not gonna be coming home. And what I want you
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to know, sweetheart, it's not you. I love you.
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I wanna be with you. I wish so much that I could
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be with you, but it's me and your mommy. We just
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can't get along. We've tried, we've really tried,
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sweetheart. And you've heard us late at night
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and we yell at each other and we scream at each
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other. We've tried everything, but we fight,
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fight, fight. And so we're gonna get what big
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people call a divorce. And I'll still see you,
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honey. I'm gonna make sure that I get to come
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by and be here on birthdays. And we even have
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it worked out where you get to spend a couple
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months with me in the summertime. But no, honey,
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I'm, I can't come home. And she gives him that
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look that only an eight -year -old can give that
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says, I don't understand this. You love mommy
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and you love me and I love you and I love mommy.
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How could two people that love each other this
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much not be able to work out whatever you need
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to work out? And he says to her, I know you can't
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understand, but maybe someday you will. And I
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just want you to know. pigtails are kind of down
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on her shoulder. And now the tears, she's not
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even crying. They're just flowing and streaming
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down her face. And until she is 80 years old,
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that picture in that park will be etched in her
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memory forever and ever and ever. And it will
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impact regardless of what mommy or dad says,
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how she views herself. And it will impact how
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she relates to the opposite sex. And it will
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impact how she views God. And it will change
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everything about her life to some degree. And
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she didn't understand it when she was eight.
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She won't fully understand it when she's 18.
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And she may never fully understand it till she's
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80. Why do we fight with those that we love?
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Why is it that two people that honestly, sincerely,
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deeply love one another can get... at levels
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of conflict that they have to give up or choose
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to give up. And as I tell that story, for some
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of you, we have all kind of different ages. You
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were that little boy, you were that little girl.
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And for you, maybe it wasn't, you were eight,
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you could have been five, or maybe you were 12
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or 13. And you remember being on the receiving
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end of one of your parents, your mom or your
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dad, telling you that it's just not gonna work.
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And maybe it happened in the bedroom or maybe
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it happened in the mall or maybe it happened
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in a park, but it's etched in your mind and it
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shaped a lot of you. And for others, you weren't
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the little boy or little girl. You remember when
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you were the mom or you were the dad giving the
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speech to one of your kids. And it seems like
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a long time ago and because your mind is made
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by God and you have an amazing, amazing ability
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to repress, sometimes you can push it way down
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deep. You know, maybe that was then and you're
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in a second marriage now and things are better.
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But as I told that story, some things got really
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deeply uncomfortable inside of you that you haven't
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thought about in a while. And it keeps bringing
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back the question. And I'm talking about Christians.
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Why do we fight with those that we love? Spouses
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fight against spouses. Why is it in some of our
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homes, our children? fight against each other?
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Why is it when kids get to be teenagers that
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they tend to fight against their parents? Why
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is it when you get to be an adult and you have
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grown parents that sometimes you fight with your
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grown parents? Why is it that people can seem
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to get along and then someone dies and families
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that look intact when they start talking about
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where the money's going to go and who gets the
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estate, some of the most ugly things can ever
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come out of believers' mouths? Why is it that
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people in the same churches that love the same
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God that have paid by the blood of Christ can
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just rip churches apart when someone thinks someone
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said something about them or someone's doing
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something with the building or one of the buses
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or we disagree about what should happen to a
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staff member? Why is it that their families,
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maybe some in this room who live within three
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to five miles of one another and you don't even
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speak? You don't even speak to one another. Why
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do we fight with those that we love? Because
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the fact is that we do. And what the Holy Spirit
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is going to say through Jesus' brother, who wrote
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the very first book of the New Testament, James,
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he's going to explain to us not only the cause
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of fighting among us as God's children, he's
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going to talk about the consequences of what
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happens when we fight with one another. And then
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here's the good news. he's gonna give us the
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cure. He's gonna give us very direct, clear instruction
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about how we can stop the conflict, about how
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we can stop it and those things don't have to
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go on and restoration can occur. So with that,
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open your Bibles if you're not already there
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to James chapter four and let's dig in together.
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And you'll notice what James begins. He raises
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the very issue. He says, what is the source of
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quarrels and conflicts among you? Rhetorical
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question. And by the way, it's in the tense of
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the verb that says, these things are presently
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occurring in this church. I mean, this is written
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to a church. And he says, what is the source
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of quarrels and conflicts among you? In other
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words, it's happening right now. And then he's
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going to answer the question, is not the source
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your pleasures that wage war in your members?
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Will you circle the word pleasures and then circle
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the word war? Literally, he says, isn't it your
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passions that wage war in your members or literally
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among you? You lust and you do not have, so you
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commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain,
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so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because
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you do not ask. And then someone's thinking to
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themselves, no, wait a second, James, you know
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what? I pray. And he says, yeah, you're right.
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There's a second category. There's some of you
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that ask. But you do it with the wrong motives.
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And you do not receive because you ask with the
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wrong motives. Why? So that you can spend it
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on yourself. The summary of that is the root
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cause of interpersonal conflicts, according to
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James, is our consuming passion for self -gratification.
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Jot those two words in, will you? Self -gratification.
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He says, this word, what is the cause of wars?
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It means a protracted, the word for wars here
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is a protracted state of hostility. Why is it
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in the church there's literal wars going on among
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the members? What causes the fightings? These
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are pictures of little outbursts of anger that
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break out. And it's in the plural here, it's
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happening within and among them. He says, is
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it not your pleasure or your passions? And I
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had you circle that because we get our word hedonism
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from it. The Greek word is hedone. Hedonism is
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one who lives for pleasure, the passion for lust
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to fulfill one's desires, the cravings of the
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lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and
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the pride of life. It's an addictive self -love.
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He says the source of your quarrels is your own
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selfish gratification. It's the me first mindset.
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You fight because you want this and someone else
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wants this. It's your lust. It's your passions.
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He says you envy or literally you covet. You
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want what someone else has and then you don't
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get it, so you commit murder. Isn't that strong?
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Those are strong words for a church, isn't it?
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And whether that literally was happening in this
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context or whether he's speaking of murdering
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people, as Jesus said, if you say raka to your
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brother, if you have hatred in your heart toward
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him, you're committing murder. But whether it's
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a metaphorical murdering with your tongue that
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is slander or murdering your heart out of hatred
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or whether it got to be literal, I've seen it
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become literal. I mean, how many of us heard
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of a story in a local church where someone gets
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bent out of shape in a church conflict, right?
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And they come in on a Sunday morning. I've heard
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of this at least four or five times in the last
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10 years. They come in on a Sunday morning with
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a gun and either shoot the preacher or shoot
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one of the elders or leaders or deacons or whatever
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they call them in the special churches. And you
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know, this is a church, and I bet if you do the
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research, everybody in the room is born again.
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That's hard to imagine, isn't it? But we don't
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have to imagine it. This is reality. And he says
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the cause is that you want. You've got this pulsating
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desire. I have this pulsating desire, even as
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a believer, to satisfy or gratify my own way.
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We covet. And this is a strong word. It's the
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idea of not the wholesome kind of God -given
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pleasure, but the sinful, self -indulgent pleasure,
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the hot desire to possess something for your
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own ego and self -gratification. And you can't
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obtain it. In other words, you get blocked. And
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so you wage war. And then you don't have things.
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And he says, you know why? Because you're trying
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to get it from other places instead of from God.
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And some of you, you know, you try to get it
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from God, but you do it with the wrong motives.
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And so he says the source. of interpersonal conflict
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is self -gratification. And if you wanted to
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summarize it, I've put some notes down. Our problem,
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just write two words, selfishness, selfish pride.
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That's our problem. It's the inner passion within
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each of us that craves our own way. And behind
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that craving is the belief that pleasure and
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fun and sensual fulfillment must be achieved
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at all costs. The symptoms are conflict, conflict.
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And the conflict is evidenced in broken relationships.
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We want something, our goals are blocked, our
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desires are frustrated, and so it leads to violence.
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Competing desires. It's the classic picture of
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one cookie and two two -year -olds. And what
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James says is, is that one cookie and two two
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-year -olds mentality, and it might be a position
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in the church, it might be about money, it might
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be about sex, it might be about a number of different
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things, but that Same passionate desire to possess
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and get your way and me wanting to get my way
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as at the core of interpersonal conflict. Third,
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he says, what's the strategy? Our strategies
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are twofold. First, we attempt to fulfill our
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desires apart from God. We want something badly.
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Maybe we want something in our marriage. Maybe
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we want it from our boss. Maybe we want it in
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the church. Maybe we want it from one of our
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kids. Maybe we want something badly as a single
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person. And he says, The wrong strategy is you
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try and get it apart from God. Notice the line
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that he said. He said, you don't have because
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you don't ask. There's some ways through either
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manipulation or intimidation or image management
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that we try and get what we want instead of going
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to God and say, God, this is my heart's desire.
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The second way in terms of strategy is not just
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attempts to fulfill desires apart from God. But
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we try to use God to fulfill our selfish desires.
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We try to make God our self -help genie. God,
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I'm praying that you will give this to me. And
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the goal isn't the glory of God. The goal isn't
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the agenda of God. And by the way, I've never
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seen this more popular than it is in our day.
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And I mean, I'll tell you what, it sells. Jesus
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can make you happy. Jesus can help you lose weight.
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Jesus can make you rich. Jesus can make you healthy,
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wealthy, and wise. Jesus can eliminate all your
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problems. You know what? God is not the center
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or the core or the infinite one who's holy in
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the universe. You are the center of the universe
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and he's your errand boy. And we'll give you
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a little formula and tell you what you do. You
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get him to run your errands for you. And I mean,
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it is being preached and it is being taught and
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it's being gobbled up because I tell you what,
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there's something in all of us, right? And maybe
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Jesus is that ticket. I'll be happy. You know,
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Jesus is the ticket to, if I love him and follow
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this formula, I'll have this big house on the
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hill and I'll have another house over here and
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I'll drive this kind of car and I'll have this
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kind of watch and these kind of clothes and beautiful
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women are gonna jump in my car or handsome hunks
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are gonna serve me butter that we can't believe
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it's butter. And I mean, Jesus is my ticket to
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self -fulfillment. And it's a perversion of the
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gospel. And it's a perversion of the truth. And
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it's not new. I mean, this is the first book
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written in the New Testament. And what he's saying
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here is your wrong strategies are one, you try
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and get your stuff apart from God or you try
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and actually use God. You're asking God to do
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things, but it's not for him. It's with perverted
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wrong motives. And then finally, the results
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are our passions and our drives and the blocks
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of people's goals result in frustration within
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and fights without. He's saying to this local
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church, let's remember, this is a local church.
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You have fights without and you have frustration
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within because the root cause of interpersonal
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conflict in marriage, with children, in the church,
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at work, he says at the core is self -gratification
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or literally hedonism. This commitment that I
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gotta have my way. I need to fulfill my sensual
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lusts. In our honest moments, we all have to
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admit this is true of all of us. I mean, we can
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make it very sophisticated and we can put some
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verses around it and we can act a little more
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pious, but you have conflict in your home, I
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have conflict in my home. If you're married,
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you have some conflict in your marriage, I have
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some conflict in my marriage. And for years and
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years, not really years and years, but as I tell
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the story, making it bigger and bigger to make
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it better and better, for years and years, I
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said the whole key to our marriage is, is if
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Teresa just wasn't so selfish. I mean, she's
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just so lovely and pretty and nice and kind and
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sweet, and that's what everyone thinks, but down
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behind that beautiful blonde hair and sweet countenance
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and wonderful mother and now grandmother, there
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is a very strong woman who wants her way. And
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in private moments with probably a few ladies
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of trusted confidence that she really prays with,
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there's probably been at least a moment or two
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That despite her husband's role and job of teaching
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God's word and, you know, working hard at being
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a good dad, some of the conflict, I think she
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would say, you know, the problem is Chip is down
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behind all that is this really selfish guy that
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wants his way. And when I want my way and she
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wants her way, guess what that's called? Conflict.
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Now, as you mature in Christ, you handle it in
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a lot better ways, right? But, hey, people, let's
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not act like this passage is for someone else,
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all right? And a lot of times what happens is
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we hit those conflicts, and the reason you don't
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argue about them is they produce such conflict
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you don't even talk about them anymore. And I
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watch marriages that are on parallel tracks with
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very little intimacy, or I watch families on
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parallel tracks where, oh, yeah, we don't argue
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with our kids. That's because we've decided anything
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that causes conflict. We're not going to talk
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about. So the kids are gradually going off their
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way and you're going off their way. And then
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when they land over here in the ditch because
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you didn't want the conflict, you know, you pull
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out your Bible and Proverbs 22, train a child
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up in the ways you go and he won't depart. God,
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I don't get this. He departed. Oh, really? Because
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at the heart of every little boy, foolishness
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is bound up in the heart of a child, right? And
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so you have to confront issues. You have to realize,
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I have to realize, I gotta confront issues in
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me and you and you and in all of our relationships
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that we are people of the flesh despite this
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wonderful thing that God has given us, this new
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birth where the spirit of God lives in us and
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the spirit has sealed us and he's given us gifts
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and we have power. But we live in a fallen world
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and there's a tempter out there and we will do
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things and we will struggle in areas that will
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cause interpersonal conflict and at the heart
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of it is not the devil made me do it. What's
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James 1 say? You sin when you're carried away
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by your own lusts. Well, let's get on the diagnostic
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side and then we'll quickly move to the solution
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side. James is going to say, okay, that's the
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cause of quarrels. Now he's going to give us
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God's diagnosis. Our constant quarrels reveal
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three different things. He's gonna say there's
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some consequences, but these quarrels are gonna
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reveal something, and they're gonna reveal something.
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All the way over here, he's gonna say that you
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have a belief system. And in your belief system,
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because when you have this frustration within,
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conflict without, you have a belief system that
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you have believed a lie. And he's going to tell
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us what that lie is in just a minute. And at
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the core of that lie is that we have believed
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the lie of hedonism, and I'll address it in a
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second. Then he'll say that after believing the
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lie, once you believe a lie, there's a series
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of behaviors that have you beginning to move
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farther and farther and farther away from God
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and closer to the world and the world system.
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He'll call it the cosmos. It's this world system.
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The world system is primetime TV, walking out
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the grocery stand, people, Cosmo, Forbes. There's
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a world system that says, The way to significance,
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fulfillment, and satisfaction is how you look,
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what you make, who you know, how many people
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report to you, what you own. And it's when you
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can have the pleasures of the world, then you're
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a somebody. You're just a house remodeled away
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from being happy. You're just a better sex life
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away from being happy. You're just that first
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child away from being happy. You're just getting
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married. You're single now, but man, if I was
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married, then you'd be happy. You're just something
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out there and the world paints every evening
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in prime time and now on 150 cable channels and
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magazines and romance novels and billboards and
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songs and they're all telling you a web that
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the world is saying, this is what will deliver
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real happiness and fulfillment. And God says,
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when we buy into that, we become spiritual adulteresses.
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We leave our first love and we embrace and fall
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in love with the world and we lose our relationship
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and our heart for God. He says, we believe a
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lie, we betray a trust. And then it gets actually
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scary. He says, we actually can come to the point
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where even though we are God's people, we become
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enemies. God will literally, in this passage,
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you'll see in the next few verses, God will literally
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put on battle array when his children are being
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wooed away from him and beginning to live like
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the world. He will put on battle array and go
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to war against us. It will be out of a heart
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of love and he will do what I call the velvet
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vice. It'll be a vice and they'll have velvet
23:59
on the outside of it. And he will bring about
24:02
a velvet vice of pressure in your life to get
24:05
you to change your mind about what really satisfies
24:07
and to return to him. It's called the Hebrews
24:11
12 experience. All discipline for the moment
24:14
seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful. Yet those
24:16
who've been trained by it, afterwards it yields
24:18
the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Now you
24:21
say to yourself, where did I get that? That all
24:24
flows out of the passage here in James 4, 4 through
24:27
6. Follow along as I read. Notice he's just told
24:31
us the quarrels, the cause, the pride. You ask
24:37
for the wrong motives. Listen to this judgment,
24:39
verse 4. You adulteresses. It's what he's calling
24:44
the church, the people in this church. This is
24:45
strong. Do you not know that friendship with
24:48
the world is hostility toward God? Therefore,
24:51
whoever wishes to be a friend of the world, notice
24:54
this, makes himself an enemy of God. It's in
24:58
what's called the middle voice. And it's something
25:01
that we do on our own. We willfully and intentionally
25:05
out of our own choices, we make ourself an enemy
25:09
with God, even though we're believers. Or do
25:12
you not think that the scripture speaks to no
25:14
purpose? He jealously desires the spirit which
25:17
he made to dwell in us. See, you are a child
25:20
of God. His spirit dwells in you. And when you
25:24
or when I, when we get infatuated, when we start
25:27
to flirt with the world and the world system,
25:29
and we start to buy the lie, and after we buy
25:32
the lie, we begin to betray the trust. And after
25:34
we betray the trust, we begin to live the antithetical
25:37
kind of life as a Christian. And then God loves
25:39
me and loves you so much, he will bring the velvet
25:41
vice of discipline because he's jealous over
25:44
the spirit that's in you. When you pray to receive
25:47
Christ, remember, Behold, I stand at the door
25:49
and knock. If anyone will open the door, right?
25:51
I will come into him and sup with him and he
25:53
with me. Unless a man is born again a second
25:57
time, you gotta be born of the water, physical
25:59
birth. You gotta be born of the spirit. The spirit
26:01
of God comes in. You're sealed with the spirit.
26:03
You're marked off as God's possession. You're
26:05
sealed as a part of his. His spirit dwells in
26:08
you. He jealously guards that. You are his. And
26:12
it's just like a husband when he begins to watch
26:15
his wife flirt. or begins to watch his wife go
26:18
on a date with another man. A good husband goes
26:21
after that wife and says, hey, you know, this
26:22
is totally unacceptable. But notice his response
26:26
is, he gives more grace. He gives more grace.
26:30
Well, how does he give the grace? Therefore,
26:31
it says, and he quotes the Old Testament here,
26:33
God is opposed, literally, he's anti, he's against
26:35
the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.
26:40
Literally, he goes, adulteresses or unfaithful
26:43
creatures, don't you know, circle the word friendship,
26:46
will you? That's our word phileo. It's the affection
26:49
with the world system and its sensual pleasures.
26:53
It means you're in hostility. You become an enemy
26:57
or you're in hostility with God. You make yourself
27:02
an enemy. Then he goes on to say, he yearns jealously
27:08
for the spirit that he puts within us. And this
27:11
word, if you want to circle through it, God opposes
27:14
the proud. It's a picture as you study this phrase
27:17
of literally God going into battle and putting
27:20
on holy array in battle to come against that
27:24
which is opposed to what's good. And there are
27:29
times in your life and there's times in my life
27:31
when we do that. Let's go back and play out what
27:35
the lie is then. He says we believe the lie.
27:39
The lie basically is hedonism. And hedonism is
27:43
a worldview that promises that I will be fulfilled
27:45
by pleasure. How I feel is the value of what's
27:51
right and what's wrong. I know I'm married. I
27:53
know I'm supposed to do this, but I don't feel
27:55
loved anymore, therefore. I know it's wrong,
27:59
and I know God says only to put pure things in
28:01
my mind, but when I log on to the internet and
28:03
I see all those naked pictures, it makes me feel
28:06
alive. See, the lie is... fulfilling your sensual
28:33
pleasure will deliver significance, security,
28:37
joy, and fulfillment. That's hedonism. And we
28:41
have three prominent passions in hedonism. Number
28:43
one is the desire to have possessions. Number
28:47
two is the desire to feel pleasure. And number
28:50
three is the desire to be power. Possessions,
28:56
pleasure, and power. And that's why all the marriage
29:01
experts say, what do couples argue about? Money,
29:06
sex, kids, and in -laws. Did I miss anybody here?
29:16
And if you think through those four things, what
29:19
you find is in your heart, you have selfish gratification
29:23
about how we should spend our money. And she
29:27
thinks you need to remodel the kitchen and those
29:29
new ping golf clubs are not that much. Or you
29:32
could join the country club or get a new motor
29:35
for the boat. She thinks... He thinks, she thinks,
29:40
he thinks, kids think, and it plays out. We buy
29:48
the lie that sensual pleasure will meet my inner
29:53
longings for fulfillment. And that lie leads
29:56
us to betray a trust. And we become spiritual
30:00
adulteresses. I came across an interesting article
30:05
by a scholar who does most of his research in
30:08
the background of books of the New Testament.
30:12
I'm in Jeremiah and just finished Isaiah and
30:15
God over and over and over as his people go and
30:17
worship idols, he calls them what? Adulterers.
30:23
He says he's to be their true love and they're
30:26
going out under trees and worshiping Baal or
30:28
in some instances there was a big fire and a
30:31
God with his arms out and they would build a
30:33
huge fire and they'd literally take their children
30:35
and toss it up into the fire to appease the God
30:38
of Baal. And he talks about under every tree,
30:41
my people are worshiping idols that they've made
30:43
with their own hands. And this scholar writes
30:48
this. He goes on to say, this form of expression
30:51
may offend the modern ears, but the picture of
30:54
Israel as the bride of God and God as the husband
30:58
of Israel has something very precious in it.
31:00
It means that to disobey God is like breaking
31:05
a marriage vow. It means that all sin is a sin
31:10
against love. It means that our relationship
31:12
to God is not like the distant relationship of
31:14
a king and subject or master and a slave, but
31:18
like the intimate relationship between a husband
31:21
and a wife. It means that when we sin, we break
31:25
God's heart. And as the heart of one partner
31:28
in marriage may be broken by the desertion of
31:31
another, so when we sin, we become spiritual
31:41
And that's what James is saying. I don't know
31:46
anything that is happening in our day that breaks
31:49
God's heart more than a church that has fallen
31:52
in love with the world. And we are living in
31:55
this day. I don't cry over a whole lot of stuff,
31:58
but I cry over this. I am so, so deeply disturbed.
32:05
And this is the reason why the divorce rate among
32:08
Christians is the same. or worse than the divorce
32:11
rate among unbelievers. You see, we've bought
32:15
the same line. We've watched the same shows.
32:18
We put the same garbage into our mind. And we're
32:21
expecting different results. And then we refashion
32:25
the Jesus message to make him our cosmic vending
32:28
machine. where what we want him to do is deliver
32:31
the great marriage and the wonderful families
32:34
and the gated community and the upward mobility
32:35
and our kids that turn out right, that marry
32:37
people even smarter than them, that have more
32:39
letters behind their name than we had, that make
32:41
more money than we do, and we all come together
32:43
in thanksgiving and sing kumbaya and love Jesus.
32:48
And at the heart and the center, we have bought
32:51
a lie that says, you know what, I gotta have
32:54
personal power. And I've got to have money and
32:58
I've got to have pleasure. And if you look at
33:00
the broad scope of evangelical born -again believers
33:03
in the United States, about 2 .5 % of all the
33:08
believers in America even tithe. That's 10%.
33:12
2 .5%. Not even proportional giving. If you walk
33:19
into the living rooms, Of most Christians in
33:23
America, if you put on a little recorder and
33:25
you recorded everything they watched from 6 o
33:28
'clock until 12 o 'clock at night, and then you
33:31
played it back, and then you did that with every
33:33
unbelieving household, you wouldn't see a nickel's
33:35
worth of difference. We have a generation of
33:39
believers that have become hooked on sensual
33:41
pornography, soaps, romance novels. We have a
33:47
church that has embraced the world to such a
33:51
degree. I don't think we're in the salt and light
33:54
business anymore where we're impacting the world
33:57
culture. I think it appears that we're in the
34:00
kind of trying to hold off a bit of the darkness
34:02
and it transforming the church. And I don't mean
34:07
that, I'm a pastor. I mean, I love my fellow
34:09
pastors and there are wonderful glowing exceptions
34:12
of which I hope every person in this room is
34:15
and your churches are radically different. But
34:18
this problem isn't new. I mean, this is in the
34:19
first century. The first century church was struggling
34:22
with falling in love with the world. But when
34:25
they fell in love with the world, they didn't
34:27
blink and say, well, you know, every other Christian's
34:29
doing it and it must not be that bad. You know
34:30
how we develop our convictions? We develop our
34:33
convictions by finding someone who's doing a
34:35
little worse than us and say, well, they're doing
34:37
this, at least I'm doing this. And then we find
34:39
someone that down deep in our heart, it doesn't
34:41
feel quite right. And since we have a generation
34:43
of people that don't know the Bible anymore,
34:45
don't read it very often and don't study it hardly
34:47
at all. You don't have a standard. And so pretty
34:50
soon you find someone you admire and say, well,
34:52
they knew that. And I always thought that was
34:54
wrong. But if they do it, I guess it's okay.
34:55
And pretty soon we got sheep following sheep.
35:00
And see, I didn't grow up as a Christian. So
35:02
you need to hear what those unbelievers out there
35:04
think. I didn't grow up as a Christian. You know
35:06
what guys like me grew up thinking? What are
35:09
you telling me this Jesus stuff? It's not working
35:11
for you. I mean, I'm sorry. That's just what
35:13
I thought. What are you telling me about this
35:15
love stuff? Your marriage doesn't hold together.
35:17
You guys scream at each other. Your daughter's
35:18
sleeping around like everybody else. Man, you're
35:21
headlong into materialism. So what are you talking
35:27
to me about this difference Jesus makes in your
35:29
life? And it's not doom and gloom, but I would
35:35
suggest that maybe some of our most difficult
35:37
problems that we're facing individually and in
35:40
the church today is that we believed a lie, we've
35:42
betrayed a trust, and that we are like a wayward
35:47
wife to our husband who is the bridegroom Jesus.
35:52
And so we have become an enemy when we buy that
35:55
lie. And notice what it says. He yearns jealously
36:00
for the spirit he made, but he gives more grace.
36:02
Well, how does he give more grace? It says here,
36:05
we make ourselves an enemy, so he gives more
36:08
grace. How does he give more grace? He's opposed
36:10
to the proud. What did he say in the beginning
36:13
was the core of interpersonal problems? Pride,
36:16
selfishness. What's God opposed to? It means
36:19
he's against. It doesn't mean he tolerates it.
36:21
It doesn't mean that he winks at it. It doesn't
36:22
mean that, well, you know, I'm not really happy
36:24
with this and I wish you could kind of clean
36:25
it up. It means he's against it. When he's against
36:28
it, that means he brings consequences, not because
36:31
he's down on you, because he loves you. When
36:35
you mismanage your money, you mismanage your
36:37
time, you mismanage your priorities, when you
36:39
put stuff in your mind that will pollute your
36:41
mind, when you think that vicarious gratification
36:45
by reading romance novels or checking onto pornography
36:49
is going to meet the deepest needs, God, out
36:52
of his great love, is going to go, okay, let's
36:55
see, we'll work on their health. No, that didn't.
36:58
Okay, we can shut down that business. We'll have
37:00
one of their kids go through cancer. He'll do
37:06
whatever it takes, people, because he loves you.
37:09
And we're going to be a pure bride. We're going
37:12
to be a pure bride one way or another because
37:14
his reputation is at stake. His reputation. This
37:19
is not about you and your life and what people,
37:21
it is about his reputation. Jesus said, they
37:26
will know that the Father sent me because what?
37:31
How you love one another. This is how my father
37:34
is exclaimed or exalted. The word is glorified.
37:37
When you bear much fruit. What's fruit? Love,
37:42
joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness,
37:44
self -control. It's being like Christ. Bear much
37:47
fruit. It's not only exhibiting from the inside
37:50
out the very character and the nature of Christ,
37:52
but it's also bearing much fruit in terms of
37:54
fulfilling God's agenda. reaching out to others,
37:57
lost people coming to Christ through your life,
38:00
found people growing to maturity through your
38:03
life, mature people reproducing their life, developing
38:06
leaders, your life. That's the agenda. The agenda
38:12
is not how can I be happy? How can I be fulfilled?
38:15
I don't care what Maslow says. It's not about
38:18
self -actualization. It's about Christ -actualization.
38:25
It's about abiding in Christ. And you know what?
38:29
We're all smart enough. You know, here's the
38:31
thing about us believers. You know, it's like
38:32
on the one hand, we're like real smart. And on
38:34
the other, it's like I look at us and we think,
38:36
are we like dumb? Who is the group of people
38:39
that have most successfully fulfilled the world's
38:42
agenda? Right? All you have to do, it's easy.
38:45
This is not a trick question. Go to the grocery
38:47
store and start at the magazine racks. Just look
38:51
at the magazine racks, sports, entertainment,
38:52
over here, over here, over here, over here. Okay,
38:55
here's all the faces, all the people, all the
38:57
names. who have zillions of dollars, play on
39:00
these teams, have had multiple surgeries, are
39:02
pretty, pretty, pretty, and are married, divorced,
39:04
married, divorced, married, divorced, living
39:05
with, not happy. The people that have the greatest
39:08
looks, the greatest money, fulfill the world
39:10
system. Help me. Are they not the most miserable
39:12
of all people on the earth? And so what do we
39:16
do? We have the Lord, so we try and be like them.
39:19
So what do we do? See, this isn't theoretical.
39:24
And the seduction of the world is not something
39:26
that... you get hit in the face and go, wow,
39:28
I'm a worldly friend of the world, Christian,
39:30
and I may be, maybe some of these difficult areas
39:32
of my life really have to do with, you know,
39:35
I'm God's enemy and I never thought about that.
39:37
No, it's like, it's so seductive. It's like when
39:42
you go out to the beach and you're playing and,
39:44
you know, when you were a kid and you look back
39:45
on the beach and your parents were right there
39:47
and you're playing, you know, in the water and
39:49
having a run and pretty soon you look up and,
39:51
man, my parents are gone. Where did they go?
39:52
They didn't go anywhere. You were here. And as
39:56
the currents went, you can be a mile away and
39:59
you never know it. I don't think the average
40:01
born -again, genuine believer in Jesus Christ
40:04
in America is waking up every one day saying,
40:06
you know, I know I really love God, but I think
40:08
I'm going to embrace the world. I think I'm going
40:10
to try and live just like they are because I
40:12
want all the negative consequences and I want
40:14
to be a terrible witness. And, you know, my marriage,
40:16
you know, who wants it to last more than eight
40:17
or ten years anyway? And, you know, the conflict
40:20
with kids and alimony, it's really kind of fun.
40:22
And, you know, all these sexual addictions and
40:24
food addictions, bulimia. I mean, you know, I
40:26
mean, these counselors need money, so if I...
40:29
No one does that. But that's where we're landing,
40:34
people. So what's the solution? He gives us the
40:38
solution where he gives us a prescription. And
40:42
we're going to get the prescription in verses
40:43
7 through 10. It is very direct. God's prescription
40:46
is humble yourself and God will heal your relationships.
40:50
Humble yourself and God will heal your relationships.
40:53
Write those two words. Humble yourself and God
40:56
will. He'll restore. I'm gonna read this passage
41:01
and there are seven, actually 10 staccato verbs
41:07
that are commands. And by staccato, I mean it's
41:10
bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. He's gonna
41:12
give us seven to 10 specific things that we need
41:16
to do that will be a picture of how to humble
41:19
yourself. You can circle the words, but number
41:21
one, submit, circle yourselves therefore to God.
41:25
Two, resist the devil and he'll flee from you.
41:29
Three, draw near to God and he will draw near
41:33
to you. Four, cleanse your hands, you sinners.
41:37
And five, purify your hearts, you men of double
41:41
mind. Six, be wretched and mourn. Seven, weep.
41:48
Eight, let your laughter be turned to mourning
41:51
and your joy to dejection. Circle laughter. Ten,
41:56
humble yourselves before the Lord will exalt
42:00
you. Submit, resist, draw near, cleanse, purify,
42:07
be miserable, mourn, weep, let your laughter
42:11
be turned or literally have your laughter turned
42:13
around. This isn't just don't laugh. This is
42:16
the haughty kind of laughter where people are
42:19
rejoicing and reveling in sin. That's the picture
42:21
of this word. And as you study those things,
42:26
what you see is it is developed in four clear
42:29
steps toward humility. or to diffuse conflict.
42:34
Number one, give in to God. Write that in the
42:39
line above there. Submit yourselves, therefore,
42:41
to God. The word submit here is in a tense of
42:44
the verb that has a sense of urgency. It's a
42:47
compound word, hupo, to be under, and taso, to
42:50
be under the rank. It's like falling into line
42:52
or rank in the military. is to take God as your
42:55
commander, as your captain. It's a picture of
42:58
a group of military people all walking like this,
43:00
and you are out of step. What he's saying is,
43:03
you're out of step with the Spirit. Well, how
43:07
do you get in step with the Spirit? Very, very
43:09
clearly, it is obey the known will of God revealed
43:14
in Scripture. Give in to God. Voluntarily, from
43:21
the heart, that's the idea. You might write just
43:25
one word after that, give in to God, put an arrow,
43:27
and write the word surrender and put a box around
43:30
it. It's really what it is. Surrender. Submit
43:34
your will. Submit your future. Submit your relationships.
43:38
Submit your agenda. Submit your desires. And
43:41
you say, God, here's what I'm going to do. I
43:44
have unconsciously, I didn't mean to, I didn't
43:46
realize it. You brought me to this place at this
43:48
time to help reveal it. The light bulbs are going
43:50
off in my mind. My spirit is so convicted. I
43:52
want you to know right now, I surrender. I submit
43:55
to you. I want you to know that as I begin to
43:58
think about your word, and I know it's going
44:01
to be a journey, but I'm going to submit my finances
44:03
to you. I'm going to submit my schedule to you.
44:05
I'm going to submit my relationships, my job,
44:07
my ministry. I submit to you. You are the general.
44:11
You're the commanding officer. You're the king.
44:13
You're the CEO. And I'm coming for orders. You
44:15
tell me what to do. That's what I want to do.
44:19
That's the first step in humbling yourself. It's
44:22
obeying what you know. The second step is get
44:26
tough with Satan. Notice the word resist the
44:31
devil and he'll flee from you. Resist has the
44:34
prefix anti. It means to be against him and to
44:37
take a stand. It's to take a stand against the
44:40
enemy. There is no middle ground. You can't play
44:43
with him. And the word devil, I mean, who is
44:45
this? He's the slanderer, the liar, the deceiver.
44:48
He's the seducer. Has anyone seen a Forbes where
44:52
you can... go through a Forbes magazine and not
44:55
somehow feel like, man, if I was really, really
44:57
rich and I'd be really, really powerful, then
44:59
it'd be really, really important. You know, it's
45:01
different strokes for different folks. It's a
45:04
lust of the flesh for some. For others, it's
45:06
that magazine you look at and you see all those
45:08
beautiful houses and all that beautiful furniture
45:10
and all this, or that dream vacation. You could
45:12
go to Scotland, do this, and you go to this,
45:13
go to this, go to this. And it always go from
45:15
one thing to another. Yet, who's behind that?
45:18
Who's selling you the bill of goods if you had,
45:21
if you could, if you possessed, if you look like
45:23
that? If you just had enough money to have some
45:26
of those surgeries like they have on TV, then
45:28
you could walk down the staircase and all your
45:31
friends would go, ah, who is that? That's a woman
45:34
or a man who they've shaved off 35 pounds with
45:38
surgery and other 20 pounds with exercise and
45:40
they have poked, jabbed, pushed. I won't go any
45:44
farther than that. Made up, died. Broken jaws,
45:48
put in new teeth, rearrange noses, and under
45:52
special lighting for one moment. And here's my
45:57
theory. Visit that woman or that man in three
45:59
years and they'll look exactly like they did
46:01
three years before. Resist the devil and he'll
46:08
flee from you. Get tough with Satan, put an arrow,
46:11
and write the word fight and put a box around
46:12
it. You gotta fight. You gotta fight. Ephesians
46:17
6 tells us how to put on the full armor of God.
46:22
Look, it's a promise. If you resist, he'll flee.
46:26
But you gotta get angry with it. You gotta say,
46:28
I don't wanna be that. I don't wanna think of
46:30
that. You gotta say, no more internet for me.
46:32
I'm not gonna watch that stuff. You have to cut
46:34
off the supply lines. You gotta fight. You gotta
46:37
say, there's a world system. It is purposely
46:40
seeking to seduce me. And you gotta put up the
46:44
guard and the armor. And you gotta say to yourself,
46:47
you know what? I can't let that in our home.
46:50
I've got a good friend that had a pornography
46:51
problem. He just doesn't have the internet. He
46:54
just doesn't have it. You say, well, that's drastic.
46:57
Yeah, it's drastic. He's just kind of saving
46:58
his marriage, saving his life, walking with God,
47:00
changing his life. He just happens to know he's
47:02
weak. Where are you weak? Where are you weak?
47:07
In the area of media, I would dare you to do
47:10
something. You probably won't do this, but I'll
47:11
dare you anyway. Double, double dare. I dare
47:16
you to go on a media fast for 10 days. No TV,
47:19
not even the news. 10 days. First two days, You'll
47:24
want to kill each other because you'll be so
47:26
irritable. And then you'll recognize we actually
47:30
spend hours that we didn't know in front of this
47:32
thing. Then pretty soon you'll start getting
47:35
creative and you'll have all kind of time and
47:36
start doing some things you always wanted to
47:38
do. About day number six through eight, you'll
47:40
start actually having some fun. Day number nine,
47:42
you won't miss it very much. Day number 10 or
47:45
11, you'll realize, oh, hey, and you'll start
47:46
watching something and you'll watch a commercial
47:48
and you'll go, oh, man, that is gross. Because
47:52
what will happen is you won't be dumbed down.
47:55
Your spiritual sensitivities will come back alive
47:57
and you'll realize, man, there's a hook in that
48:00
commercial. And did you notice how the camera
48:02
panned and went to that guy's body part or that
48:04
woman's body part? Did you see? And all of a
48:06
sudden, all those subliminal messages, your spirit
48:08
will pick them up and you'll fight and you'll
48:11
say, man, I'm not buying that stuff. But I tell
48:14
you what, the passive, I want to try harder,
48:17
be a better person someday, some way, will not
48:19
make it. Third, he says, draw near to God and
48:23
he'll draw near to you. Right in there, get,
48:26
close to God. Get close to God and then draw
48:30
an arrow and in the box write return. Return
48:34
to God. What he wants you to know, he loves you.
48:38
He's for you. He cares about you. Anything you
48:42
think the world and power or sex or pleasure
48:45
or a boat or a better golf score or what plastic
48:49
surgery could ever provide, Jesus says it's all
48:52
a lie. It's all temporary. I love you just for
48:57
you. I have joy that circumstances can't change.
49:00
I wanna give you something in your heart that's
49:02
called peace, not pseudo peace. I want you to
49:07
be able to sit in a room where you don't have
49:08
to turn on the TV or the stereo or run over to
49:10
the refrigerator every time you have a little
49:12
bit of unrest in your soul. I wanna give you
49:15
joy that even when bad news happens, it wells
49:17
up in you. I wanna love you. I wanna care for
49:20
you. I wanna... tie you into me and let you understand
49:24
where real life comes, abundant life to the full.
49:29
Isn't that what he promised? I came that you
49:31
might have life and you could have it to the
49:33
max. This isn't like getting second rate stuff.
49:36
This is like seeing the junk for what it is.
49:40
And then you negatively, you got to fight, but
49:43
then you draw near to God, you return. And what's
49:46
the promise say? He'll draw near to you. Isn't
49:50
that awesome? This is a picture of the prodigal
49:53
and the father. You know, he didn't run after
49:55
the prodigal, did he? He allowed the consequences
49:59
to get in the prodigal's life. By the time the
50:02
kid is eating the pig slop, he finally has an
50:05
aha moment. This ain't good. The slaves have
50:10
it better. But the moment he returned the word,
50:13
right, and began to come back to the father,
50:16
what did the father do? Study that passage carefully.
50:19
He does a number of things that break culture.
50:21
He runs to meet. That means he had to pick up
50:23
his robe. That means he embarrassed himself in
50:26
the city. He ran to meet his son. God wants to
50:31
run to meet some of you. And some of you are
50:34
so overwhelmed with guilt and got so much baggage
50:38
and so much junk and feel like you're so unworthy
50:41
and you've been through so much. He's a God of
50:44
grace. If you've fallen into a 15 -foot hole,
50:48
He will lower a 16 -foot rope. And if you've
50:51
fallen into a 300 -foot hole and you can say,
50:54
I had two abortions. I've had four marriages.
50:55
I'm a perpetual liar. I'm stealing from the company
50:58
right now. My whole life is a mess. I'm 300 feet
51:01
of just dirt and I feel like a terrible person.
51:04
God said, I brought you here because I have a
51:07
301 -foot rope. Just grab it, babe. I love you.
51:12
I love you. I died for you. I have a plan for
51:16
you. I want to restore you. Well, how do you
51:18
draw near to God? It's not just an emotional
51:20
experience. How do you draw near to God? Well,
51:23
since many of you are on that media fast because
51:25
I double -double dared you, and some of you can't
51:27
resist that, with all this time, you know what
51:29
you'll find? Just start reading through the New
51:31
Testament. Just start taking walks instead of
51:34
watching TV and talk to God. And when you're
51:36
hurt, tell Him you're hurt. When you're angry,
51:38
just express it and tell Him you're angry. The
51:40
things and the needs that you don't have, ask
51:42
Him for. Get in the Scriptures, begin to pray,
51:45
and then, you know what? Every New Testament
51:47
command I can find is in the second person plural.
51:49
There might be an exception or two. That means
51:51
I'm never expected to live this radical New Testament
51:54
revolutionary life alone. I've got to do it with
51:56
people. And you get in the Scriptures, and you
52:00
begin to pray, and you get with some people that
52:02
are making progress with the Lord, and you find
52:05
some music and a Bible -teaching church that
52:08
teaches the Word and lives authentic lives. And
52:11
you know what? You're drawing near to God. He's
52:13
gonna draw near to you. And all the things you
52:16
thought that we're gonna deliver through your
52:18
hedonism, that you're being brainwashed like
52:20
I'm being brainwashed day after day after day,
52:22
God says, I'm gonna give you better and lasting
52:25
both now and forever. The final thing he says
52:29
is get right with others. Notice the phrase here,
52:32
cleanse your hands, purify your hearts. You know
52:35
what? That's the outward. What are you doing
52:38
with your hands that is wrong? Cleanse them.
52:40
Then not just externally, but internally, purify
52:42
your hearts. Where are your motives? Let there
52:44
be tears for the wrong that you've done. And
52:47
so there's a private purification where you cleanse
52:50
your hands. And you know what it is? You don't
52:52
hear this much anymore. Are you ready for this?
52:54
Some of you, a number of things have come up
52:56
in your mind. I've just sort of thrown a few
52:58
little bombs out. Have you noticed? You know,
53:00
the soaps over here, romance novels over here,
53:03
pornography over here, materialism. Just in case
53:05
you missed the bombs, this is a review. All right?
53:08
All right? A little bitterness in your heart,
53:11
unforgiveness toward an ex, toward a mom, a dad,
53:13
one of your kids, right? You know what cleanse
53:16
your hands, purify your hearts is? Stop sinning.
53:19
Stop it. Okay, you ready? I'm going to do this
53:22
again. It's very complicated. Stop sinning. I
53:26
mean, we get this like, yeah, I will, you know,
53:29
I'm going to have to process this, maybe see
53:30
my counselor. You know what? Is it wrong? Stop
53:34
it. Repent. That's the word. Right. Get right
53:40
with others. Arrow in a box, then write, repent.
53:45
Now, do you need help? Yeah. Do you need to see
53:47
a pastor or a friend? But if you have wronged
53:51
someone, make it right. Cleanse your hands. If
53:54
you have bitterness in your heart, if you have
53:56
resentment, if you have anger fantasies, purify
54:00
your heart. Purge it. Tell God you're sorry.
54:02
If you need to apologize to someone, go apologize
54:05
to them. But just say, I'm gonna get right with
54:09
God. I'm gonna get right with others. Then notice
54:12
the final thing he says in verse 10. He says,
54:15
humble yourself therefore under the mighty hand
54:18
of God. Why? That he may exalt you. He's told
54:25
us that the problem is interpersonal relationships,
54:28
that it's really selfishness. He said the lie
54:31
that we've believed is hedonism, the whole pleasure
54:33
mentality, the playboy mentality of our day.
54:36
But he says, you know something? Submit to God.
54:40
resist the devil, draw near to God, and then
54:44
get right with others. And then he says, that
54:46
is the actions of humbling yourself before God.
54:49
And here's what he'll, he wants to literally,
54:52
here's the word, he wants to lift you up. He
54:55
wants to restore you. I wish I had time to go
54:59
over couple after couple after couple and men
55:01
who've had 20 years of pornography, internet.
55:05
and people that have been on drugs in the places
55:08
I've had the privilege of pastor where I've watched
55:10
them humble themselves, come and say, God, I'm
55:14
bankrupt and do exactly what we've talked about
55:17
here. And the Lord has weaned them from the world
55:19
and they've been returned to their first love,
55:23
the Lord Jesus. And is it easy? No. Is it humbling?
55:26
You know, some of you are thinking. Well, if
55:28
I made it right, I might have to go, like, actually
55:31
apologize to someone, like an ex -mate or an
55:33
ex -boss. This could go public. This would be
55:36
humiliating. Humiliation comes from the same
55:41
root word as humble. You see, when we finally
55:45
get to where it ain't about me and it ain't about
55:48
you, is let's just be right. You know, people
55:52
don't think any of us are near as good as we
55:54
think they think they are anyway. Right? I mean,
55:57
we're all projecting a little bit better, and
55:59
most of us see through what we're projecting.
56:01
It takes more energy to hide and cover and project
56:04
that we're better than it does to come absolutely
56:06
clean and say, I blew it. I was wrong. I'm sorry.
56:11
God has forgiven me. Would you? And you know
56:15
what I find? People are pretty merciful with
56:18
people that are humble. You're listening to Living
56:23
on the Edge with Chip Ingram and a message titled,
56:26
Why We Fight With Those We Love. You can find
56:29
today's lesson online at livingontheedge .org.
56:33
Everything Chip walked us through today comes
56:35
down to the same call as everything else in this
56:38
series. Loving people well takes an actual decision,
56:42
not just an intention. That's the whole case
56:45
behind Chip's book, I Choose Love. It unpacks
56:48
what the Bible means by agape love and gives
56:51
you a practical way to start living it out with
56:53
the people right in front of you. Get your copy
56:55
of I Choose Love at a special price today at
56:58
livingontheedge .org slash offers. You know,
57:03
we hear from listeners all the time about what
57:04
happens when they actually put teaching like
57:07
this into practice. One woman wrote in about
57:09
the anger she'd carried for years, chasing the
57:12
approval of the people around her. Anger that
57:14
was, in her own words, ruining some of her closest
57:17
relationships. Learning that she already has
57:20
God's approval, she said changed everything and
57:23
it actually restored her relationship with her
57:25
daughter. I can't imagine, she wrote, where we
57:28
would be if I had not participated in the program.
57:31
Well, that kind of restoration is exactly what
57:34
this ministry is about, and it's only possible
57:36
because listeners like you keep it going. Give
57:39
generously today and help this kind of practical
57:42
biblical teaching reach the next relationship
57:44
that needs exactly this. Give online at livingontheedge
57:48
.org or call us at 888 -333 -6003. You can also
57:54
send your gift by mail. Address it to Living
57:56
on the Edge, P .O. Box 3007, Sewanee, Georgia.
58:01
Well, now here's Chip. As we close today's program,
58:06
there are four specific steps toward humility.
58:09
And the promise is when you humble yourself,
58:12
God will lift you up. He will help you. Let me
58:15
review them quickly. Number one, give in to God.
58:19
Submit yourselves, therefore, to God. The key
58:22
word is surrender. Second, get tough with Satan.
58:26
resist the devil and he'll flee from you. You
58:30
may need some help on what that looks like and
58:32
how to do it. Number three, get close to God.
58:35
The promise, draw near to God and he'll draw
58:37
near to you. Open the scriptures, read the Psalms,
58:41
cry out to God. He longs to help you in your
58:44
pain. And number four, get right with others.
58:46
Repent. If you need to make something right,
58:49
make it right. This is one of those messages
58:51
you need to get the notes, download them for
58:54
free, and then you can walk through it. There's
58:56
discussion questions and an outline that will
58:58
help you. put this into practice. Father, I pray
59:02
for those in conflict who need to take the first
59:05
step that they'll go to the web today and they'll
59:07
hear your voice and begin to put into practice
59:10
what it looks like to humble themselves so that
59:12
you can lift them up. In Jesus' name, amen. Again,
59:17
our website is livingontheedge .org. Well, next
59:21
time Chip turns to a subject most of us would
59:23
rather not talk about, the words we use about
59:26
other people. Don't miss this important lesson
59:28
right here on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
59:34
Today's program is produced and sponsored by
59:37
Living on the Edge.