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Transcript

Dingo For Congress · The Dingo Weekly

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Robbie knows everything.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Dad knows everyone. Dingo is here too.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: They're here to make love to you.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: This is the Dingo Weekly.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: This is the Dingo Weekly.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: This is the Dingo Weekly. This is the Dingo Welcome
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: to the Dingo Weekly Podcast. I'm fucking Robbie. She's not
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: supposed to say fucking first 30 seconds.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: I'm Robbie.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I'm sick. I don't feel well. And I'm here with
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: other people. And this was not my best intro. Hey, everyone.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: Why are you yelling?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Am I yelling?
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry. You said your throat hurts and then you yell.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I've been yelling all day and it's not been helping
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: my hurt throat. I don't know what's wrong with me.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: I didn't even know we were started.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Probably what's wrong with you is that you keep yelling.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know what's wrong with me. I didn't know
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: you came back.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: From getting your drink because you said I can't drink
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: a sweaty beverage.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Well, it wasn't open. It was sitting and sweating. I
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: want a fresh one that's nice crisp cold. Nice, I
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: got a fresh one.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Are you talking about the condensation on the outside?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was sweating.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: And you can't drink that?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: It had condensation. No, it's not that I couldn't drink it.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: It's that I don't recall how long it's been sitting
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: in front of me, and it could have been 30
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: minutes to an hour.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: What is it? What's the drink?
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: It's just a peach iced tea.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: I get it, though. If it's unopened and it's just
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: been sitting there sweating, sure, I'll swap it.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I'll swap it. Give me a fresh one.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I thought you meant it was just open and wet. Yeah,
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: why not? It's unopened. If it's been there 10 minutes
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: and it's sweaty, I'm going to drink it. If it's
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: been there an hour and it's sweaty, I'll go get
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: it fresh.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I'm approaching room temperature over here. Give me a nice, fresh, cold,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: crisp beverage.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: My whole shtick was coastal elite and you guys are midwestern,
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: way more elite.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I'm not midwestern.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: My can is a little wet.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I am a coastal elite living in Bumblefuck.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Fetch me a new can.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: I thought when he said it, I thought it was
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: opened and sweaty. And he was like, I can't drink
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: this sweaty can. But it was unopened, so I get it.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Unopened? It's normal behavior. This is not abnormal.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I'm normal.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: I thought you were like a Philly guy. Ego birds.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Go birds.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: They can't touch a wet can.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: It's not about the wetness of the can. The sweating
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: was just saying that it's been sitting there for a while.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Man up.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: I don't care that the can is wet. I mean,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: this is a little wet already. It's got condensation. I
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: can see it.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Ew.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I just want it cold. I just want a cold drink.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Is that so much to ask? God dang.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: It is hot again.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: It was 90 degrees today. So random. It wasn't Sunday either.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: It was rainy. It was cloudy. And it was 90 degrees.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: I hope it's not coming my way because I like
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: this crisp weather.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: You like crisp weather? Yeah, I don't want sweaty weather.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: That afternoon rain today caught my daughter. She got home
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: from school. She was like, it literally started raining as
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: the bus was approaching the bus stop. And then it
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: was pouring rain my whole walk home. And then it
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: stopped raining right when I got to the door. It
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: rained hard for like eight minutes.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Did you ask her what she did to upset God?
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. She did that.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: God's not real.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: She is, and she's mad at your daughter.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: She's not happy.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I got neat, cool news.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: You got neat, cool news?
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: Neat, cool?
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: One little bit of neat, cool news. I went to
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: the library today and checked out a ukulele.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Wait, what? You can do that?
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Wait, what? That's news? Yeah.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: No, that's perfect news. I love that news. That's great news. Guys.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: No.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Newsflash. You can rent or check out ukuleles from your
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: local library. Everyone. Do you know that? What other instruments
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: they have? I didn't.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: But this is why I don't like it. Because I
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: know Todd. And when he says this is neat, cool news,
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: and he also told us he has things, I know
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: that Everything else is way worse. If this is neat
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: and cool.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: That's as neat and cool as you got a whole list.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Talk about your ukulele real quick, and let's enjoy it.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I checked out a ukulele.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: I got it.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I'm going to learn how to play it.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: What are you, a white girl 10 years ago?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Hold on. When's the return date on that, bad boy?
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I have a feeling that you're not
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: going to learn ukulele in the time it takes to.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing. I've been thinking about buying one.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: So this is like a trial?
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: This is like a trial. It's due September 14th. So
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: it's two weeks. I have it for two weeks.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: And then you got to bring it back and then
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: check it out again and be like, I need two
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: more weeks. I still don't know how to play this
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: fucking thing.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I feel like two weeks is long enough for me
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: to determine if I like it. And if I like
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: it enough, I'll go buy one. They're cheap. I can
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: get a starter ukulele for like 60 bucks. All right.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: What other instruments they got at the library?
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: That's about it. They got some other... That's it?
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: That's it? Just ukuleles?
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: They got some bongos. They got some maracas.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Who the fuck is going to rent maracas?
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Maybe you got a sherryachi band coming up. You need
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: some maracas on the quick. Go check them out at
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: the library. You can check out all sorts of things
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: at my library. You need a fucking... Little camera to
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: shove down your toilet pipes. You can go check it
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: out at the library. What?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I'm shoving it. Are you sure that's not the Home Depot?
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: It's the library, dude. Did you go to the Home Depot?
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Go check it out at the library.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: Did you go to Lowe's?
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: It's the library of things they have at my library.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: You can't just check out a toilet snake.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: You can't.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: From the library. No way.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: You can't.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: What library is this?
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: At my library. They have a whole section. It's called
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: the Library of Things.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Of Things. Where all the employees just bring all their
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: shit from home that they don't want anymore.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: They have audio equipment. You can check out a VCR.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, that makes sense because libraries also have media content.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: So they'll have DVDs and sometimes VHS.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: They also have toilet snakes. What's your problem?
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Apparently toilet snakes. But, I mean, documentaries and stuff, that's
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: library material. And they do have VHSes, so if you
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: need a VHS player, that makes sense.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Board games.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I need a didgeridoo. Go to the library.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: You could check out the VR, meta VR thing.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: You got a fancy library, dude.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Check out your library, dude. I bet your library is
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: fancier than mine.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: I would not check out the VR goggles. Probably has
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: so much semen on it.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Check it out.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: I checked it out, and now that you said that,
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: I'm really grossed out that I had that on my face.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, you totally got jizz on your face.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, gross, dude.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: Just layers of jizz crust.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: That's gross.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: It was a long time ago, and I didn't get
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: pink eye, so at least I got that going for me.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Well, my wife just got a library card this weekend.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: To be fair, a good portion of the books probably
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: have it on it, too.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I hope not. What the fuck? Who's jizzing on all
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: the books?
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: People are weird, man.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: That's weird. I didn't say I did.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: What?
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: No one said you did. What in the world?
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: What was that other thing you wanted to say, Ted?
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Should I go from worst to best or best to worst?
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: I can't go from ukuleles to nuclear holocaust, so let's
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: build up.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Build up to the nuclear holocaust?
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: That makes sense.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: That's usually how nuclear holocausts happen.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: What's up with mattresses? Mattress stores?
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Fucking Jerry Seinfeld over here. What's up with that?
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: What's the deal?
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: What's the deal with mattress stores?
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know, Tad. What's the deal with mattress stores?
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Why are there always like four mattress stores?
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: Is that the whole bit? I don't know. I hope
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I'm just curious. I'm curious. Why is there always four
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: mattress stores in a one-mile radius?
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Tad is on to something.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Is it money laundering?
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: That's a good question. I don't know if I would
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: jump right to money laundering, but.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I got to jump. I got to tangent it to
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: furniture stores.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Are there that many people shopping for mattresses all the time?
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: There's never anyone inside those stores.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Mattress stores, furniture stores... Who is going in a furniture store?
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Who's buying all this furniture? Bull fucking shit. They're not
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: making sales. Like those big fancy furniture stores. I see them.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: They're around. I don't know who's buying them. I don't
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: know who's going in there. You get one chair, it's
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: like $ 1, 000. No one needs a $ 1, 000 chair.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: Also, they have salespeople.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: Why is there a mattress store? And then there's another
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: mattress store across the street from the mattress store.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't need a whole mattress store. The problem
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: is that you want to lay on it. You want
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: to test it out. People generally want to test it out.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Some of the mattress companies will send you a mattress
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: and you can test it and you can send it
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: back if you don't like it.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And then they get mad when there's stains on it.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: So annoying. What did you think I was going to do?
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: But like the, the mattress store is just so you
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: can lay on it and be like, that's the one.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: But no one's like, I don't know.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: This is, I like this one. I'm going to go
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: home and order it on Amazon.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Cause that's a big purchase. You don't want to buy
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: a mattress, not knowing how it feels. And then that's
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: the next eight years of your life. Minimum.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just like marriage.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: I bought my last mattress online.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Could you return it if you didn't like how it felt?
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we had 100 days.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: See, there you go. 100-day return policy. So, I mean,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I get the idea of the mattress store. People still
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: need to buy mattresses.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, I understand the idea of the mattress store,
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: but why do they always open in such close proximity? Yeah,
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: you don't need that money. We've got like the mattress
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: store district of downtown.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: My problem is that it's always the same company. Yeah.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: It's like there's a Sleepy's and then across the street
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: it's like Sleepy's and then they just add another word
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: at the end.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: The Sleepy's go.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: Like just put all your mattresses in one building.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Sleepy's Express.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: We have the mattress firm right here on the corner.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: And then right across the street in like the shopping
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: center is a mattress firm. It's like what's going on here?
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: Well, this is Mattress Firm factory store.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: They're just cannibalizing their own sales there at that point.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: You don't need that. If you want to test out
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: your mattress, you might have to drive a little further.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I don't know why you got to saturate the market
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: with all these stores. Just go for a 30-minute drive.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: This is a once-in-a-decade purchase almost. You might have to
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: make a drive.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: There's got to be some kind of a.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: You don't need a local mattress store. No one needs
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: a local one.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: There's got to be some kind of scam they're pulling, right?
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Just your mom and pop mattress store.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Some kind of real estate loophole they're running.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: I think you're onto something. Something's going on there.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Only in America.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: It is something to think about.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: We're gonna keep an eye on you, mattress firm.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: I'll forget about this, but for now, I'm onto you.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: We're onto you, motherfuckers.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: Alright, what's the next tier after mattress?
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Um... Gemside. Gemside.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: Mattress genocide?
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Mattress genocide. All the stock they don't sell, they burn.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: I'm using that term from now on. Get in bed.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: I'm going to get some genocide.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, speaking of genocide, remember when Marjorie Taylor Greene was
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: going on about the Jewish space lasers?
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Do I ever call that. Okay.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Israel has announced a long-term strategic initiative to develop space-based
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: laser attack and defense capabilities.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: So.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: She was a prophet.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Madge was onto something.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: She was a prophet. Or self-fulfilling prophecy. She was like
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Jewish space lasers and Jews were like, hmm.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Maybe if you just throw a bunch of wild shit
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: out there, eventually one's gonna stick.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You can't just say Jewish space lasers and not
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: expect a few Jews to be like, all right, well,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: wait a minute.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: We were working on something similar anyway.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, hold on there. That's not nothing. That sounds like something.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: We can run with that. She might have caused that. Honestly,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: that one might be on her.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: The Jewish space lasers are on MDG.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's her fault. She did that, probably.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: It's her fault. They're calling it the Iron Beam thing.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: The iron beam. I like that.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: You would.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Beam me up, Scotty. Different kind of beam.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: It's just for.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: It explodes you.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: So it's to protect satellites, but also builds on advancements
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: in ground-based direct energy lasers.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: But for now, until we detect satellites and shit, we're
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: just going to leave them hanging out in space pointing
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: at Palestine for no reason. Ah. Well, with lasers, you're
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: not going to do anything. We're just leaving them there.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: Also, can we have another 50 billion, please? United States. Right.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: It's a friendship loan.
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: It's a friendship loan. Yeah.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: And let's not use the word loan.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: It's a gift.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: It's a gift. It's a friendship gift.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: It's like a friendship.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Passover gift.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Let my people go.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: It's a, It's a don't forget about all those videos
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I have of you raping children that we got from
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Jeffrey FC.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: That is less funny.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that took a turn. I'm trying to be light here.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: Not that lasers said Palestine was hilarious to begin with.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're just lightly talking about genocide here comedically. You
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: don't have to come bring that in. Jeez.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: The weight of it just hit me. It's fine.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: The weight is awful.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Everything's awful.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: Everything's awful. This isn't funny. God damn it, Ted.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Move on. Why did she have to bring this shit up, Ted?
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: We knew you would go right to genocide.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: You tricked us with ukuleles and mattresses and then hit
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: us with genocide.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Every time. He's so innocent. Just look at him.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: He loves doing this.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: So the United States Department of Labor just recently did
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: a Twitter post. I don't remember what the picture looked like.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: I already feel like I can make fun of this more.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: It said, underneath the picture it said, one home, one people,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: one heritage.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Without any further details, it sounds like Nazi Germany.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: That's a Nazi slogan, isn't it? I heard that in
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: the context of Nazis.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: It sounds like ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: Oh, yikes.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, it is.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I knew I heard that somewhere.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Who you been listening to?
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: Yep. Just my Hitler DVDs.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: They're like not even trying to hide it anymore.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Just whip out my Victrola.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Right up in your face, we're doing a fascism.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: We're doing a fascism. Get in. Come on, we're doing
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: a fascism.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Get in loser we're doing fascism god what kills me
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: is that it's so obvious and then the supporters will
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: just be like it's not even close to being the
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: same this is in english yeah.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's a great point like no one's speaking german
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: here there's no nazis fucking idiots or.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: The nazis in the room with us right now it's
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: not even german.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: I mean on top of it everything stephen miller says
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: is like goebbels verbatim like.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: But stevie miller's jewish so you know so he would
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: never there's no.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: Instances of any jews helping the nazis.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Just like there's no instance of any american ever helping
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: the nazis right see the.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Thing about nazis is is it's not nazis we're not
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: talking about nazis it's we're talking about fascism so that's
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: why this applies.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: It's fascism and also white supremacy.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Which is gross.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Of course. Jews today very easily pass as white. I
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: would just say we're white.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: So Stephen Miller just says, white guy, let's be supremacists.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: It's not about the Jews. It's about fascism. Yeah. Yeah.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: 100%. 100%. Yeah.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: White people, man, am I right?
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: The worst. It's just embarrassing for me. As a white man,
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: I don't like this.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: As a white man.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: Hey, at least we have Lake America, right?
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Lake America is so fucking stupid. It's just like he
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: doesn't have any negotiating skills at all. It's just name-calling
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: and weird schoolyard bully tactics. But we're all grown adults,
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: so bullying doesn't work. You can't bully an adult, especially
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: in the context of world leaders. You can't just bully
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: each other. It's like, okay, I'm fucking 45. What are
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: you talking about? No, you can't just call me names.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: That's not going to do anything to me.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, you're not going to do and say what I
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: want you to? Well, I'm going to rename a geographical
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: feature on half of our maps.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Like what?
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: Take that, you stupid Canadian piece of shit.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: I think the most embarrassing part about it is that
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: he thinks, I have to imagine, he thinks that the
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: lake itself is named after Ontario, the territory, which it's not.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Ontario is named after the lake. which was named by
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: the indigenous people, the Wendat.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: I believe it was Iroquois, but.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Well, it was the Wendat. Because doesn't Ontario mean beautiful water?
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: It means beautiful water, or... big lake or something.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: I'm going to fact check you right now because I'm
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: a straight white male and I don't like that you're
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: fact checking me.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Fact check me. I would love to be fact checked.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Tell me when I'm wrong because I want to be corrected.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I don't want to spread misinformation.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: I'll allow correction.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: Please. Please fact check me.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: That's the shitty part. What do you think? What does
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: that accomplish?
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Nothing. You know what's also shitty? Is that Google We're
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: both right. We're both right. Nice.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: It's the Wendat tribe, but it's an Iroquoian language.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean beautiful waters?
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: Translates to variations of Great Lake, Beautiful Lake, or Sparkling Water.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: So pretty much both nailed the head there. Nailed it.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Good job.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Everyone was right.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: We were all right.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: Except the president of the United States.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Except the president. But yeah, Google, a shitty thing they did,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: in my opinion, is that they changed the name on
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Google Maps immediately to Lake America only within the confines
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: of America. So to everyone else in the world.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: That's the same with the Gulf of Mexico.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: They just changed, like, they are, it doesn't make sense. Like,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: what's the fucking point? Different places are just going to
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: call things different things. Like, okay, whatever. It's stupid. It's
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: just stupid.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: Thanks, Sundar Pichai.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Why don't you just rename Canada? Now Canada is doo-doo land. Google,
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: you have to change the name of Canada to doo-doo
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: land now. Do it. Put it on the map. Doo-doo land.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Canada should change the name of the United States to
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: lower Canada.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Well, they totally should. Would Google change their maps? The
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: name on their maps?
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: No, because they don't. have a fucking dictator in charge.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: It's just all stupid. All of this is stupid.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: He's going to have a little crybaby hissy fit if
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: they don't fucking do it.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: It's just like his little temper tantrums. And like, obviously
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: they're like, anyone who supports me, you're just trolling. Oh,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: it's a funny little troll thing. It's like, okay, but
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: this is annoying. It's just fucking annoying and stupid because
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: he can't do anything. He never gets anything done. All
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: he does is play these stupid little troll games because
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: he's a fucking little troll. Yeah, cool.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: He's trolling. He's an internet troll. Should the president of
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: the United States be a fucking internet troll?
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Literally. No.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: No.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Grow up.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Grow the fuck up. Literally grow the fuck up. That's
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: so crazy. You're 80. You 80? You fucking 80? Grow
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: the fuck up.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: You are shitting yourself on live television. Grow up.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: Wake up.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: Grow up.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Stop sleeping all the time. And stop raping children.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: Stop raping children for the love of God. My God.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: If you haven't been Physically incapable of doing that. Please stop.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: These poor children. Anyway.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: I'm upset that I have to even tell people to
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: do that. Sick.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: My voice. You got me yelling.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: Yelling at the kids. Now you're yelling at Donald. Yeah.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: They don't listen. These kids, they don't listen. It's Donald.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: You don't listen. Don't listen. Oh, listen.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: You guys still eating beef?
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Fucking hell, man. Yes, I am. But it's from Costco.
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Because I trust them and their robust inspection practices.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm still eating beef and I'm just eating beef.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not even checking. I'm just eating it. It's a
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: bold move.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: I know. It is, but I get just wanting to die.
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: I do.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: He can't fucking eat anything in this day and age.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: This administration fucking destroyed everything with Maha. Now there's no
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: regulations and everything is diseased. All the food is tainted.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're bringing in what? 300,000 tons of beef
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: from who knows where. On top of that, he's removing
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: processing regulations. So like... farmers can process their own meats
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: without FDA oversight.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Perfect. So that rank meat that doesn't have any oversight
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: will go out into the market as well.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Do you know what happens if a cow is slaughtered
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: improperly and say you.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: It's not kosher.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Say you accidentally puncture the wrong part of the brain
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: or spinal cord.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Of the cow? Brain bleed.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: And you know what happens to the meat? And then
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: you know what happens to you? Prions.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know any of this. Tell me everything.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: Prions?
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Prion disease. Prions. Brain worms.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Brain worms? You kill them wrong and you get brain worms?
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: You get brain worms.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: How does that happen? What?
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Oh, you could get a position in Donald Trump's cabinet.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Brain worms.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 25:27
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: Get prions? Get promoted.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: No, you're probably just going to.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: Prion-moded disease.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: How does puncturing something or slicing it the wrong way
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: translate to brain worms, though?
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: The wrong fluids end up in the wrong place and
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: into the muscle tissues and then the meat is processed
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: and then you get sick.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: It's got like bacteria in there that grows into something.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: It's the wrong kind of Worms.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Something. The wrong worms.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: You don't want the wrong worms.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: You want the right worms. Yeah.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: Prion diseases are caused when normal proteins in the brain
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: misfold into abnormal infectious shapes called prions, which then clump
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: together and destroy brain tissue.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: So they're not worms. They are proteins clumping together.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Got it. That makes more sense.
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: I assume it would be acquired. So infection occurs through
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: exposure to contaminated nervous system tissue. This can happen via
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: contaminated medical equipment, organ transplants, rare blood transfusions, or eating
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: contaminated meat, such as beef products linked to bovine spongiform
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: encephalopathy or mad cow disease. Shit.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I had beef like yesterday. It was pretty sus.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: It was good, though.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, we just had... Tacos the other day.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: So I'm like wondering like when, when's the cutoff?
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Cause I also had lettuce somewhat recently.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: I heard that lettuce is fine now. And so it's
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: not like convinced me, but I, I wasn't totally convinced,
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: but I ate it anyways.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: And then they stopped researching cyclospora. The USDA canceled all
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: their cyclospora.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: So search 17,000 people got it. That's on my list.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: People started dying and then they were like, just cancel
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: all that.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: If you stop monitoring, then the numbers stop going up.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: It did pop up in three more states. The research
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: that is happening will continue.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: The research that is happening is none? No.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: There is a team that's That does research on it.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: They were just talking about moving them from... I think
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: they're in Maryland. And they were going to move their
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: operation to Iowa. So now, like, their whole shit is, like,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: fucked up. Because they're like, are we moving our facility
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: or not? But then there was two other.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: Shit's, like, fucked up, dog.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Two other studies that were supposed to happen that just
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: got defunded. So, yeah. But, like... Yeah, we're in the
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: middle of a massive outbreak. So, of course, let's stop
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: funding research on this parasite that we're in the middle.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: It seems like they've stopped funding research on everything. You know,
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: it just feels like this is getting... It's just about everything, yeah.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: They're pointing this out because the outbreak is currently happening.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: But look at all the other research that they've defunded.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: I'm sure it's all of it. Damn near.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: What? Hmm.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: A lot of it.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: What is the next outbreak that's about to happen? Look
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: at what research has just been defunded. Pick from the list.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: I bet one of those is going to be the
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: next outbreak.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Well, about that.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: Tell me about it, stud.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: You know that horrible flood that just happened in Nepal, right?
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: That was so crazy. Oh, my God. Those waters were wild.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: It's it's really bad. And there's still like there's like
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: twelve thousand people missing and a lot that like the
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: death count. I'm i'm gonna go ahead and assume that
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: the 12 000 people that are missing didn't.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Make it i heard i think confirmed death count last
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: i heard is somewhere in the mid to high 900s
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: yeah it's approaching a thousand yeah that and i mean
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: sure it's it's probably higher than that i think i
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: heard that at the on the news this evening but Like,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: they're probably just counting as they.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: Find more and more bodies.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: But so, the thing that caused that flood was a
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: glacier that broke off. And is it, like, crashed and flooded?
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: And that is, like, a million-year-old bacteria inside of that glacier?
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, fuck. So you think that bacteria could potentially be
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: in there? That's gonna.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, not potentially, definitely.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: Well, you don't know what is inside that glacier. Do
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: you want to hear what.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: Are the active high-risk outbreaks right now and the potential
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: threats before we touch on this glacier bacteria?
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: What are the high-risk threats and what has been defunded also?
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Do you have that list at all?
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: What has been defunded?
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Research cyclospora research and west coast agricultural innovation uh disrupted
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: regional research on hops soil health grapes tree nuts and
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: regenerative farming but besides hops beer yeah so you're gonna
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: get drinking beer soon we can't so you don't have
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: beer what is this country what is going on They've
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: defunded the research for it. We're not getting sick yet.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: Yet. My point is yet.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: I'm saying yet. Yet. What we are getting sick from
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: now is, number one, cyclospora, which we already talked about. Two, measles.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: The U.S. is facing its worst measles surge in over
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: three decades.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: That's crazy.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: It's official measles elimination status at RICS. God, I can't read.
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: Over 2,900 cases and dozens of localized outbreaks have spread
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: across 45 states now. Wow.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: That's like all the states almost.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: That's just about all.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: So pause on the subject of measles. I just saw
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: RFK at something talking about it.
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: And he was like, over the past 10 years, there's
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: only been three deaths of measles. And there's been millions
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: of deaths of food-related illnesses.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: But it's like, okay.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Can I just interject here since you're doing the voice?
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: He's the only guy I've heard that his own voice
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: is trying to get him to shut up. Like, shut
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: the fuck up, man. Your own vocal cords is like,
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: just fucking stop.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Stop. Just stop.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Like, listen to that. Over the past 10 years, there's
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: only been three deaths from measles. Two of them were
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: this year.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: My God.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: And you know why there's been no deaths from measles?
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: Because we vaccinate for measles.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: Preventative measures. It's like something horrible happens, like crazy measles
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: outbreaks of the past. We have science and innovation and
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: come up with a vaccine and eradicate measles deaths for decades.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: And like, that's the preventative measure. It worked.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: Problem.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Solution.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: Fixed. Yeah, the information here, it does mention that It's
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: driven by pockets of low vaccination rates. Yeah.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: And they're trying to blame immigrants.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: That's it. They're trying so hard to blame immigrants right now.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: It makes no sense when you can clearly see the
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: cause and effect of this is the solution to the
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: problem that wasn't here. It's like, oh, well, there's no measles,
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: so we don't have to vaccinate for measles. There's no
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: measles because you were vaccinating for measles.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Come on. What the hell? You're thinking backwards here.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: No.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: No, you're not.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: No, you're not. So maybe don't make that decision.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: And the third active high-risk outbreak is Ebola again.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Ebola again. Great. Yeah, that one's been going.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: Every couple years it rears its ugly head, and this
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: time we're not fighting it so much.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: It's been rearing pretty hard out in the world, and
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I'm nervous that that one's going to come over to
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: our side of the world.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: In the Congo, yeah. It's pretty rough over there now,
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: and it's only a matter of time before it travels.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: And there's no vaccine for that, right?
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, they were airlifting people to Germany, to
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: hospitals elsewhere. They're spreading the people around. I'm not saying
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: that the disease is spreading, but the people with the
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: disease are physically spreading, so.
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: As they do, the carriers.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he goes to Germany, a doctor might catch it,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: and then he brings it home, and then his kids
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: go to school, and then boom, pandemic. Another one.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Another one.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: Another one. We also have three projected threats on the horizon,
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: if you'd like to hear about them.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: Hold on, real quick. Ebola, how's that spread? Is that airborne?
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: That's not airborne, is it?
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: No, it's fluid.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: So that makes it easier to Yeah.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure you need direct contact with body fluids.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: Yep, infected body fluids.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: So airborne is way worse.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: Blood, vomit, feces, saliva, sweat, urine, semen, breast milk, and
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: amniotic fluids.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: So stop playing with other people's fluids and you should
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: be alright for the most part.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, especially if they're from the Democratic Republic of Congo.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: Anyway... Guess what else is coming back? Bird flu, avian influenza.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Ew.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: It's a taut pandemic threat as the virus continues to
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: naturally mutate and spill over from wild birds into dairy
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: cows and other mammal populations.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, so it's mutating and X-Men style. It's going into
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: other species.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: Ooh, hold that thought with X-Men.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: I'll hold it.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: Because first is Oropunch. I don't know how to pronounce
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: that word, but it's also dengue.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, dengue fever. Yep.
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: Insect-borne viruses are rapidly expanding their geographic ranges due to
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: shifting climate patterns. Oh, thanks, climate change. Auro-punch virus in
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: particular is noted by epidemiologists. I can't fucking talk.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Epidemiologists.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: Epidemiologists, thank you. As an emerging threat poised to spread
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: heavily via midges and mosquitoes.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: You say midges? What is a midge?
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: A midge? It's like a tiny bug.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: Huh. A tiny two-winged fly blowing to several different families
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: of non-mosquito insects. So mosquitoes and not mosquitoes.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Dang, that's all of them.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: That's all of the bugs.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: That's all of the bugs.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: Are midges, are they gnats?
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: They're midges.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but are they gnats? Like is a gnat a midge?
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Or is a gnat a gnat?
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: And a midge is a midge.
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: Do you want me to... A nat? Yeah, a midge.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: All right, all right. No, we're asking.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: No, we're doing. While we're asking, yeah.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: We're here.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: They're closely related and look very similar, but midges are
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: not nats. Okay. If you really want to learn something,
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: both belong to the same insect order, Diptera, and the
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: same suborder, Nematocera, of long-horned flies, but they have distinct
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: differences in their scientific classification, habits, and physical traits.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Imagine being the guy to classify all the bugs. Nerd. Nerd.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: Anyway, Professor Xavier.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: They look very similar. Like, bitch, they're the same.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: While we're X-men-ing, the third projected threat is Disease X,
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: which I'm sure Elon Musk is very excited about the naming.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: Disease X. Oh, God.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: It's a placeholder term used by global health authorities for
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: an unknown respiratory pathogen or mutated coronavirus. Oh, cool. It
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: could spark the next unpredictable international pandemic.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Wonderful.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: Projected threat on the horizon.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Wasn't coronavirus technically the whatever X?
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: Disease X? Disease X? Yes, until we named it. And
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: now there's another one.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: And now the next one will be disease. So disease
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: X is just whatever the next one is.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: It's a placeholder, yeah.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's a placeholder.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: So there can be a bunch of disease Xs. There
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: have been. Tons of disease X's in the past.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: I wonder what the list of disease X's are.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: Cool.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: The plague, Spanish flu.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: So my uncle is, well was, he's retired, but he
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: was a microbiologist professor.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: He was a really tiny professor who studied biology.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Right. But he said that Pretty much, he said what
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: will extinct humanity is going to be a respiratory virus.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: I can see it.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: It's the easiest to spread.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: Especially seeing how people will react to a respiratory pandemic. Yeah,
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: that will be our doom.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, we had one, and like an embarrassingly
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: large chunk of the population of the world didn't take
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: it seriously. Mm-hmm.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: Half the country complained about face diapers. My freedoms.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, most of that chunk of the world was American.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Not a good look.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: So, cool. That's cool. So now we might have some
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: million-year-old bacteria that we know nothing about that just got...
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: released from a glacier well.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: That might is doing some heavy lifting there.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: So no.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: That there's bacteria in there you don't know they might they're.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: There glaciers in the harbor specialized bacterial communities that carry
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: natural adaptations like heavy metal tolerance and antibiotic resistant genes
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: yeah there is.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: No way they're there It's definitely there.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: That's known. That is a fact.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: It's known that they're there. What's unknown is the damage
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: they're going to do. Yeah.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: Because we've never had to have the ability to research them.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: Because they've been trapped inside glaciers.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: They could be fine. They could be nothing. They could
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: just be like a whatever. A little small.
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: I can tell you what they do know. Scientists have
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: detected genes resistant to common antibiotics, such as tetracycline, aminoglycosides,
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: and fluoroquinolones frozen within the glacial ice. Heavy metal co-selection.
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: Natural minerals and heavy metals trapped in the ice can
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: co-select for resistance, helping these bacteria survive harsh conditions. And
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: downstream release. As global temperatures rise and glaciers retreat, melt
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: water flushes these microbes and genetic materials into local rivers.
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: While public health experts note that the risk of ancient
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: zombie pathogens, quote unquote, causing severe human disease remains very low,
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: the shifting microbial balance in water sources is an active
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: area of study. So this whole doom and gloom of
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: the zombie pathogens, which people have been speculating about, Very low.
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: That is unlikely. But they don't know much else.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Unlikely so far.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: Unlikely to cause a zombie-like pathogen, yes. The rest is...
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Unknown. Worsening the silent pandemic.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: Of antibiotic resistance.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: TBD. So what they do know, very clearly from what
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: I am reading here, is that We don't have drugs
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: to fight these pathogens. They're very resistant to modern antibiotics.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Not ideal.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: No, it's really bad. We just don't know how bad.
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: It might be a little bad, it might be catastrophic,
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: and it's.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: Too early to tell. Well, don't say really bad then.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: You said it's really bad. We don't know how bad.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: We said it might be really bad.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: I said it might be really bad. You know what?
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: I will.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: I'll upgrade it to it's really bad that we don't
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: know what we're dealing with.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: It's bad that we don't know what we're dealing with,
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: but it could be nothing.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Could be nothing.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Could be nothing.
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: It's not going to be nothing. It's just that we
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: might be able to deal with it.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, nothing as in not a serious problem. Right.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: Maybe a problem, but not like a serious one. More
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: like just like, oh, okay, we can fix this. Not
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: a big deal. It's not going to spread. It's not
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: going to be a thing.
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't want to blow it out of proportion yet.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: And unlikely to be zombie death bacteria. That's good. That's good.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: Probably not zombie death bacteria.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: That's good.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: What do you think would happen if those 12,000 or
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: so missing Nepalese? Is that what it is? Nepalese?
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: Sounds right.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: What if they start coming out of the mud and
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: they're zombies?
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Then I think the zombie mud bacteria is probably real. Yeah.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: And you can say I told you so. Is that
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: like a World War Z type of thing? Is that
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: where ground zero of the zombie apocalypse started?
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that's how it starts, yeah.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: Do you think we'd be able to contain it? Or
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: do you think it would just, that's it?
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: I think we're just going to start sending nukes all
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: over the place and then End of times.
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, nuke the zombies.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: But then the radiation gets to the zombies, and now
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: you have mutated zombies.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: End of times, man. End of times. Once we got
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: zombies on the board, it's over.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: I'm fine with, like, walking dead zombies. If they're, like, slow.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: If they're slow and you're allowed to just kill them indiscriminately.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you just go hit them in the head
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: with a baseball bat full of nails. Cool.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: But if they're like the fast movers, I'm just, I'm just,
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: I'm ending it myself.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm not dealing with that.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: I'm, I'm, I'm killing myself. I'm probably killing my family.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: Immediately.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: Don't kill your family. Jesus Christ. You're so quick to
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: kill your family.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: He just wants to kill them. Did you hear it?
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: There might be zombies. Yeah.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, if it spreads, if it gets to the
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: United States, if it crosses the oceans.
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: If it gets to the United States, I'm killing all
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: my kids.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to try to live through a zombie
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: apocalypse of, like, fast movers. And now we're talking nukes, like,
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: nuclear mutated, weird, like, megazord fucking zombies. No, not.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: Just be really sure that there's no plan B, okay?
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not killing them. If the news is like,
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: we have a case in New Mexico, I'm not, like,
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: slitting their throats.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not doing that.
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: I'm going to just save.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: It's going to snowball.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: I'm going to save a couple bullets for when they're
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: breaking into my windows.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: If it starts getting close, I'm taking care of it
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: before we're all zombies.
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but close as in, like, they're in your living room, right?
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: It's pretty close.
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: That's close.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, close is in like we're all in
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: lockdown and it's everything's done.
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: Until they're breaking through my walls, I'm fighting.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: And I'm going to have a cup like a pocket
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: full of bullets for us.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying until my family's infected, I'm not killing them.
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: Fair. Yeah. I'll hold off on killing my family until
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: they're breaking down.
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: And I really want to go like the cinematic route
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: where it's like, I get bit, but I cover my sleeve.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: Oh shit.
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: And then I have to like have the tough decision
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: with my wife. I'm like, just do it. Just do it.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: Just do it.
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: Just do it.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: God. I love you so much.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: But then you have like the mist situation. You ever
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: seen that movie? The mist.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: Where was that? Where they were like, so close to
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: freedom the whole time.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: It was pretty much, it was like, spoiler alert, this
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: mist has like this human eating fucking thing. And like,
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: they're running from it the whole time and they are
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: like trapped inside this car. And they're like, Oh, the
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: mist is here and we're all going to die. And
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: they're sitting in the car, this guy, his son, and
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: these two people that they were running with. And the
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: three people, The two people shoot themselves. The guy shoots
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: his son. And then the fucking army walk by. And
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: the mist clears up.
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: And that's how the movie ended.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: At that point, just kill yourself. You killed your son?
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: Seconds before being saved?
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Also, you're going to jail, right? You did murder
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: your kid.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: You just did a murder.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: Just do a murder.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: The army probably saw that.
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they were so close, and you just blasted that
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: kid in the face.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: Like, bro, what the fuck did you just do?
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: Did you just shoot your kid?
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: You're going to jail, buddy.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: Sorry for anyone that hasn't seen The Mist.
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: I have not seen The Mist. You totally just spoiled
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: that for me.
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen it either, but I heard that before.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: I said spoiler alert.
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: You said it in the same breath as the rest
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: of the story. You're like, spoiler alert, it's mist that
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: kills people, but then it turns out to be nothing
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: and he shot himself in the face.
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: By the way, I have to listen to everything you
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: guys are saying. I'm in this podcast. I can't just
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: tune out for a spoiler alert.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't watch movies anyway.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: That's not even true.
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Fight Club, it was in his head the whole time.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: If you haven't seen Fight Club by now, fuck you.
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: You weren't going to watch it anyway. I feel like
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: it's that with the mist. Yeah.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: You know the Sixth Sense? The Sixth Sense was flavored farts.
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: Speaking of the Sixth Sense, Mitch McConnell's still dead, right?
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, that's how death works. Permanent.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: Do you think they're doing this to see how long
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: they can pretend someone's still alive?
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: It's absolutely wild that no one's seen him yet. Yeah.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: I don't understand how this is even possible. How long
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: has it been? It's been months. It's been several months.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: June, I think.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: Google says he's alive and recovering at home. Shut the
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: fuck up.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: Up mid June mid June I don't understand I don't
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: understand how there's zero proof since mid June zero physical
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: evidence of his existence his.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: Living existence do you think they're doing this to test
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: out how long they can pretend that someone is still alive.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Like, I mean, right. They have to be, I mean,
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: as at least it's just like a, a side perk, like, okay,
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: well we need him to be alive even though he's not.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: So we'll just say he is, but also let's see
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: how long we can do this. This might help in
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: the future.
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: I don't know if that's there. You got to see
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: how long you can go.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: We're just going to find out.
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: You're going to send out Christmas cards with his face
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: on it. Like, Happy holidays from Mitch.
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: With that same shirt.
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: Just with a Santa hat on.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think that was the intention. I think
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: that's just a fun unintended consequence. It was like, oh,
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: we get to find out how long we can do
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: this ruse.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: How fun.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: How fun.
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: How fun for them.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: It's not good, though. It's not good.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: It's not good.
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: Everyone, if you want to have fun, too, don't show
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: up for work for three months and see if you
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: still get paid.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, see what happens.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: Have someone just shoot them a text every now and then.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: I'm still alive.
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: Still alive. Just want to make sure that my direct
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: deposit's going through. And for all the people that are saying, well,
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: Congress is on a summer recess anyway. That shit's over.
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: He's still not here.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: Is it over? I feel like they're always on recess.
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: It's over. Summer vacation's over. Why you even get that
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: is beyond me.
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: Do they just have unlimited sick days and paid time off? Yes.
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: They only work 180 days. Right, but if.
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: You can't work 100 out of those 180 days, you
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: still just get paid?
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: You only actually... This is like... Correct me if I'm wrong,
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: but you only have to vote for things. You don't
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: have to... write legislation you don't have to co-sign on
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: bills you don't have to like actually come to the
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: office and do like obviously you're supposed to do all
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: that stuff i mean you don't even have to vote
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: you know i mean people just don't even show up
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: to vote like they abstain from voting on bills like
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: congress people like you don't have to do anything you
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: you can be elected and literally do nothing and like
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: who's gonna call you out on it literally who.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: Well there was that one lady that went missing and
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: they found her in like a nursing home.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: Right but like she was missing for so long and
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: same with that that other guy who was just depressed
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: i think from new jersey the guy he was just
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: depressed he was like gone for four months no he
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: didn't show up to anything he didn't vote he didn't
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: do anything his people just kept saying yeah he's he's
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: dealing with an issue he'll be alive and fine and
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: he'll be back eventually and then eventually came back months
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: later he's like i have depression Like, dude, get out
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: of office. What the hell? You can just do nothing
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: for months at a time. There's no consequences.
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: There's no other job that exists that you could get
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: away with that.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: No, you cannot do that. But I'm telling you, like
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: the actual job description of a congressperson, like the things
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: that you have to do, you have to do as
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: a congressperson. I think it's just a blank page. I
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: don't think there's anything that you are required to do
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: as a congressperson.
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they do not have a minimum attendance requirement and
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: face no legal penalties for failing to show up.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: Right? You can literally get elected and do nothing the
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: entire term. You have zero requirements.
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: The U.S. Constitution sets the framework for how long they
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: hold office and how often Congress must meet, but daily
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: attendance is left entirely up to the individual politician, so
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: they don't have to do shit.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: They literally don't have to do anything. They have zero
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: job requirements. They are required to do nothing.
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: No law stating a member must attend a specific percentage
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: of work days?
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: It's wild. The system is broken.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: What a gig.
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: This is pathetic. Congress must meet at least once a year,
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: starting on January 3rd, unless they pass a law to
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: change the date.
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: So the one requirement is meeting once a year?
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Once a year.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: That's the actual minimum requirement.
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: That's for Congress, not an individual politician. Congress itself has
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: to meet at least once a year.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: And what do they need, a fucking quorum?
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: Wait, wait, wait. So that means that the people need
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: to meet, but if some people don't show up, well,
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: at least Congress met. So technically... You don't have to
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: go to that either.
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: You don't have to, but it has to be in session.
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: As an individual congressman, you're not required to go to that.
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: The session has to take place, but all individual congresspeople
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: are not required.
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah. There are two things that can happen if they
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: just don't ever show up. If not enough members show
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: up to conduct business, a quorum. The Constitution allows the
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: members who are present to authorize the sergeant at arms
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: to arrest absent lawmakers and physically drag them to the
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: chamber floor to vote. While rare, this has happened in
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: moments of intense political gridlock. Or, pure expulsion. If a
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: member completely abandons their duties or goes missing for an
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: extended period due to non-medical reasons, Congress can vote to
• 55:01
  Speaker 3: expel them with a two-thirds majority vote.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: There's gotta be a limit on medical reasons, though. Like,
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: that's At a certain point, if you're not doing your job,
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: you should not be enrolled.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: It sounds like they don't have a job. The job
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: is to vote and write legislation and vote on the legislation.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's what you're supposed to do. I'm not
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: saying that's the minimum requirement.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: They're supposed to do, but they're not required to do anything.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: Write and vote on legislation.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: Unlike the presidency, which has the 25th Amendment to handle
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: health emergencies... The U.S. Constitution provides no medical incapacity clause
• 55:37
  Speaker 3: or formal medical leave policy for lawmakers. There is no
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: legal or constitutional limit on how long a member of
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: Congress can be absent for medical reasons.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: That's actually wild. It's actually wild how little oversight they
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: have of just doing their minimum duties.
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: Once they get elected, they don't have to do shit.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: They literally don't have to do a single thing.
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: For six years. As a senator.
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: They could stay home. Just collecting almost $ 180, 000 paycheck for
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: six years to do fucking nothing.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: The only reason that they would come in to vote
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: is just so they don't get called out. You come,
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: you vote every now and then. You say once a month,
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: you vote on something, and then you leave. You do that,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: you're pretty much doing nothing as a congressperson.
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: Isn't there travel paid for?
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, all paid for. Fully paid for. You do essentially
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: nothing but just enough where no one's going to really
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: call you out. Because, I mean, these people that are
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: taking four months off for depression.
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: Even then, you need a two-thirds vote. So if you
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: have a majority in your party, you're not going to
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: do shit anyway.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: What I'm saying, though, is that you have a majority.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: The Republicans have a majority. This Republican congressperson was gone
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: for four months, and they protected him because he's one
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: of theirs. So they're not going to do anything about it.
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: But people were still calling him out. They were like, bro, this,
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: where the hell is this guy? I mean, news organizations
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: were like, where is this person? What's going on? Like
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: everyone was just like, where, like no one knows where
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: he is. It was news that he was missing. Not
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: that there was content. There was never going to be
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: consequences for it, but it was still, they made news.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: If you vote once a month, no one, you're not
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: going to make the news. No one's going to like
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: call you out for that, but you're effectively doing nothing.
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: That's the move. I mean, it's a bad move. But
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, that's how you can just skirt the system.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: And it's terrible. This whole system is corrupt.
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: I'm running for Senate. I just want everyone to.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: Know. Congress is fine. Senate would be cool. Six years
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: of that?
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: Fine.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: Easy.
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: Well, you only get two years. Whatever, I'll start there.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: It's a full-time work-at-home gig.
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: Congress seems like the way to go. Six years to
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: do fuck-all?
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: Do fuck-all for six years. Free travel. And per diem
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: on food.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: All you gotta do is run a good campaign and
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: sound sexy and wear a tight t-shirt and look buff.
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: I can do that.
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: It's actually so easy. Once you get elected... Done. It's done.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: It's done. It'd be the easiest job in the world.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: If you want it to be. Depending on the level
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: of effort you want to put into it. It could
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: be zero effort. It's up to you.
• 58:23
  Speaker 3: I actually don't think I could do that.
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: I don't think I could go be a congressperson and
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: put in zero effort.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: I couldn't.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: I physically couldn't. I'd be like, all right, what are
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: we doing? We got to do something, right?
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: I'd hear some bullshit on C-SPAN. I'd be like, I'm
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: going to fucking Capitol.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: No, fuck that. I'm going to go on C-SPAN right now.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: I'm a congressperson. We're at C-SPAN. I'm going to talk
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: to them.
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: Crazy.
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: Clown shit.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: Clown shit.
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: What were you even fucking talking about?
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: We're all running for Congress.
• 58:59
  Speaker 4: Vote for Dingo, he's your man Guessing's just as good
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: as concepts of a plan Vote for Dingo, he's your
• 59:08
  Speaker 4: guy Ain't shown up since the beginning of.
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: July In at 11 Gone by noon Weekend at Bernie's.
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: Voting too With no decorum Act like buffoons If they
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: can do it Dingo.
• 59:27
  Speaker 4: Can too Vote for Dingo, he's your man. Guess he's
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: just as good as concepts.
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: Of a plan.
• 59:36
  Speaker 4: Vote for Dingo, he's your guy. Ain't shown up since
• 59:41
  Speaker 4: the beginning of July.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: Shows up only to throw.
• 59:47
  Speaker 4: Shade, mostly A1.
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: Wall still gets paid.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: Billet buster. Skip all sessions. Arrested at work twice for possession.
• 59:58
  Speaker 5: Vote for Dingo.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: He's your man.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 4: Guessing's just as good as concepts of a plan. Vote
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 4: for Dingo.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: He's your guy.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: Ain't shown up since the beginning of July. Many years
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 4: with great ideas like Obamacare for beer.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: He'll save the day.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 5: Then disappear.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 4: But he'll keep on coming back just as long as
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 4: the check clears.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 5: Vote for Dingo.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: He's your man.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 4: Guessing's just as good as concepts.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: Of a plan.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: Vote for Dingo.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 5: He's your guy.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 4: Ain't shown up since the beginning of July. Vote for Dingo,
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 4: he's your man Guessing's just as good as concepts.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: Of a plan.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 4: Vote for Dingo, he's your guy Ain't shown up since
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 4: the beginning of time