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WHAT TIME IS IT?! SHIT EATER TIME!! · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:08
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:11
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got with me Madame Liv.
0:14
Hola, that's Spanish for hello. Then then I have my lovely
0:24
nephew and Madam lives Dom, this is Master Matthews.
0:30
How are y'all doing? Alright, I wish I could like
0:33
respond back like hey, we're over here.
0:36
You know, you can get a little button for that, like a cheers
0:38
button. Yeah, yeah.
0:40
Clapping. Yeah, clapping.
0:42
I'll get that for you. All right, kids, so we're going
0:45
to start this episode. But I will say that officially,
0:49
for the longest time, we were only in 190 countries.
0:52
There are 195 countries in the world, and guess what?
0:57
We just got another motherfucking country.
1:00
That's awesome. Right.
1:02
It's 191 countries. It's so exciting to me and it's
1:06
all around. The world.
1:08
Fuck yeah all. Around the world.
1:12
Hey. You got a lover now?
1:18
I will say this too, that we had Kylie, who we have taken out
1:23
into the woods, and then Liv before that did an Electro
1:27
session in the dungeon and Spotify wouldn't let me post
1:31
them. She's not naked.
1:33
We don't know what the fuck's happening, but I upload it.
1:36
Spotify takes it down three different times on both
1:39
episodes. However, I will say to the
1:41
listeners and the viewers who listen to the podcast go to our
1:45
loyal fans. I'm going to be posting some
1:48
parts of it on our actual Call Me Mistress website so they can
1:52
go on there and view it. So anyway, that's the issue.
1:56
But there was 2 great fucking videos that we put together for
1:59
Fucked Up Friday. And Liv, you were fucking
2:03
phenomenal doing it as always. But you know Spotify won't let
2:07
us show it, so Boo fucking who? So Liv, let's just jump into it.
2:12
We can go and talk some nitty gritty about some shitty shitty.
2:18
Oh. No, no, Matt, I know this is not
2:23
your favorite topic. It is not a favorite topic for a
2:26
lot of fucking people. No, not at all, but the story is
2:30
great. The story is great.
2:32
It's great you just let her tell you.
2:35
Well, for starters, I will say this.
2:38
So the guy was supposed to come in to see us twice and when he
2:42
didn't, he cancelled. And I told him I said look, if
2:45
you come in again, you legit have to come in because we can't
2:50
just sit here and wait for you. It's not fair.
2:52
It's not right to do that. And Liv is going to pee on you.
2:56
However, I'm going to shit on you and if I have to wait for
3:00
you and hold it, I don't like doing that for anybody.
3:04
So you're going to have to fucking show up.
3:06
He's like, I promise I'll show up.
3:08
I'll show up. I'm like OK. 10:00 when he comes
3:10
in, he's a nice looking guy. He's like 5859.
3:14
Very attractive, clean, clean smell and great cute little
3:18
body. Got a little pudge to him, but
3:20
he's adorable wearing his little cowboy boots.
3:23
So sexy. But he really wants to be shit
3:26
on and he wants to eat shit. And I said, well, you know, Liv
3:30
will pee on you, but you know, for the rest, I'll do it.
3:33
I said, but it's not something that you think is going to be
3:36
all of that. And he's like, well, I've
3:38
listened to the episodes on your podcast where you've talked
3:40
about it and you know, you need cough.
3:42
OK, it's OK, I said. But ultimately on the podcast,
3:46
you know, you've heard me talk about it.
3:48
It's not pretty, I said. And when I have to do it, I'm
3:51
going to do it. And I can't be around to hear
3:54
you eat it, lick it up, nothing. I can't smell it.
3:58
I have to do it, drop it and leave, I said.
4:01
So you'll be left to your own devices with it.
4:04
He's like OK, OK. And I said no, it's raining
4:06
outside and we can't do this shit in the dungeon because it
4:09
is one room with no ventilation, no fucking windows and it's
4:13
going to stink. So we have to do this outside.
4:16
He's like, but it's raining. Can't we do it like on the steps
4:20
It's? Cold.
4:21
Yeah, OK. We'll start from the beginning
4:23
because we're skipping a little bit.
4:25
So Liv, you, you tell them your version of it.
4:27
You. Go for it.
4:29
Well, I'm not going to get into the right, but whenever he comes
4:31
in, when he comes in nicely dressed, seems a bit nervous,
4:36
gets nose a little bit more stretched, relaxing a little
4:38
bit, he was like, OK, well, we're like, well, how do you
4:41
want to start the session? How would you envision the
4:44
session going and having such a hard time getting him to explain
4:51
that to us? And he was like, well, I would
4:53
like maybe you just to tease me. And I was like, well, does that
4:56
mean like we like show our butt hole to you?
4:59
And he's like, Oh my God, you can do that.
5:00
I was like, no, no, no, no, that's not what I.
5:03
Said I was being. Sarcastic and and, you know,
5:06
then you said I'm not showing you my asshole.
5:09
And he was like, yeah, but just like sexually tease me with it,
5:13
you know, And like, well, kept asking, well, what does that
5:15
mean to you? Like, how do we tease you with
5:18
shit? And you know, it just took us.
5:20
I would say we were in there about 30 minutes trying to get
5:22
it out of him. Yeah, he was so like you said,
5:25
he was so nervous. But you know, my thing of it is
5:28
I'm very verbal live. You're a doer, you know, and I
5:33
like to talk and she likes to do.
5:35
And so when I was telling him, I'm said, look, I said if it's
5:38
going to be me teasing you in some form of fashion, I'm going
5:42
to be talking dirty to you. I'm going to say, oh, baby, I
5:45
want to shit on you. I want to fart in your face.
5:50
Really get him going. Yeah, yeah, it really didn't
5:52
seem like he wanted that, but he.
5:53
Didn't he acted like he didn't want that?
5:56
That was very confusing. I almost thought we wasn't gonna
5:58
be. We wasn't gonna do it.
5:59
Yeah. So then I said OK, So what
6:01
exact? And Liv and I just kept asking
6:03
and ask and probing. Yeah, we probed him so.
6:07
I bet you. Did Yeah, we did.
6:09
But I said to him, I said, what do you want us to do?
6:10
You want us like flash you our asshole and be like.
6:13
I've got bring out of your asshole.
6:22
That's fighting. You'll be like blowing little
6:24
brown kisses. God, Charles would think this is
6:28
funny. Yes, Charles would probably love
6:31
this right now. I.
6:32
Told Charles the story yesterday and he was dying.
6:38
He laughed so fucking hard about it.
6:40
Yeah, 'cause he's always very matter of fact, you know, He's
6:43
like, Oh well. How did you do it like this?
6:48
So funny things I tell this guy as we start again, Liv's trying
6:52
to say, what do you want? And he's like, well, you know,
6:55
I, I go to strip clubs. I think, you know, the, the
6:58
teasing, the dance, I think it's kind of cool.
7:00
Lap dance. Yeah.
7:02
And I said, well, Liv, this is our rule.
7:04
You know, you can't touch us. We can touch you.
7:08
I said we're not going to do anything sexual or inappropriate
7:11
with you. We're going to.
7:13
Liv can dance a little bit for you.
7:15
Yeah. You didn't do notice.
7:17
I actually had a hard time doing that.
7:19
I felt like an idiot, You know, I was like, I feel like I've
7:22
done a lap dance before. I feel like I would know what
7:25
I'm doing. But the more I thought about it,
7:27
the harder it got to do. I'm like, I don't know what to
7:30
do. Do I do this?
7:32
And like I was like I. Thought what you did was perfect
7:35
though, because, because you, you went because I told him I
7:40
said look, we have a chair and we use it for our our sessions
7:45
like. I feel like if I did it while he
7:47
was sitting, I'm not sure I probably would have been able to
7:49
give him a success successful one, but he was on the couch.
7:52
Yeah, it, it was different. I mean, when you walk into the
7:56
dungeon, you come in right side, there's the couch, you know, and
8:00
it's kind of like sits back a little bit.
8:02
And, you know, we told him about the chair that we use for golden
8:06
brown, and it has a hole in it and everything.
8:09
So Liv goes and grabs that chair and it's not really tall, but
8:14
you, you're not a really tall person, but it was really suited
8:18
for you because. I did use the chair you.
8:20
Did it was great. So you straddled the chair.
8:22
Because I didn't know how to dance on him.
8:24
No, that's what was getting hard.
8:25
That's why I grabbed that chair. I'm sort of like dance chair
8:28
dancing I guess. Yeah, it worked out perfect
8:30
because, you know, you just bounced your booty a little bit.
8:32
I mean, and you're wearing these cute little leather shorts.
8:35
I will say that she was wearing these cute little leather
8:37
shorts. She looked great.
8:39
And she was like, kind of like shaking her butt and just being
8:42
teasy funny. I mean, and we were just like,
8:44
oh, you know, and I was sitting next to him.
8:47
I'm like, you know, touching his hair and touching his cheek and
8:50
his his chest because he's adorable.
8:53
You know, why not? And ultimately then, you know,
8:57
he proceeds to get more excited. So Liv and I take his boots off
9:01
and, you know, we're getting to where he's basically down to his
9:04
his undies and. Never regions.
9:07
Never regions. So I'm like, OK, and lives like,
9:13
yeah, so Are you ready? And I said we need to do this
9:15
because it's going to start raining harder.
9:17
You know, that was the thing. We've never done this shit out
9:21
in the rain. That was the other thing.
9:23
Yeah. Yeah, and I told you I was like,
9:25
because we were talking about how I would pee on them.
9:28
Yes. And you're like, why you just do
9:30
with your underwear? I was like, I'm not wearing any
9:31
underwear. But then I was like, well, I
9:34
went to move my pants to the side and I was like, I am
9:37
wearing underwear. Look at me go.
9:40
Yeah, I ended up. Wearing underwear, I don't know
9:43
how I forgot it but so I was able to take my skirt off and
9:46
honestly my underwear matched my shirt.
9:47
I looked super cute but I tried peeing on them and honestly I
9:52
was pee shy. And he's like looking directly
9:55
in my pussy hole. I just want to look at where.
9:57
I'm looking at. Me, but you pee on me in the
10:00
shower all the time. It's different.
10:01
I love you. That does not mean I love you.
10:05
If I pee on you, OK, But it is easier.
10:10
I'm more relaxed. And you try to aim it and you're
10:14
not. Staring into my pussy when I'm
10:16
doing it either like he's like. Well, if you can't see this but.
10:22
Holding his mouth open like obnoxiously trying to catch
10:25
those peas. Yes, he was.
10:27
But you know, to me, he's, he was cute.
10:29
I'm not saying he was ugly. Yeah, no, I know that.
10:31
It to me, I know for you it was weird.
10:34
It's kind of like a panting dog staring up at your crotch.
10:37
Like, you know, pee on me. Yeah, but whenever you went to,
10:42
it would be your turn because I was like, hey, I'm pee shy.
10:44
You're like, Are you sure you want to see this?
10:46
I was like, yeah, I could do. It yeah, you're like, I'm kind
10:48
of curious. Oh, I was.
10:49
Down. Curious, you were.
10:51
So this is The funny thing, right?
10:53
I told you, I said, look, Liv, when you do this, if you're
10:56
going to pee on them, just wear a skirt.
10:58
You know, you can pull your panties aside, make it easy.
11:01
But she wore these shorts and I was like, oh, OK, well.
11:05
It was my leather skirt that had shorts.
11:07
You can't pull into the side where you can't.
11:09
You can't, but you have the cute little bikinis that matched.
11:12
I know. The top you looked adorable.
11:14
It's very festive, you know, red sequins.
11:19
I'm like. Burgundy underwear.
11:23
I looked like I did it on purpose even.
11:25
I didn't even know I wore underwear.
11:30
You just show up. She fucking shows up.
11:33
She does it phenomenally well. So anyway, so to give the
11:37
audience some perspective, so we go outside, we're sitting by the
11:39
pool in some form and it's starting to just rain and it's
11:43
50° out. It's fucking cold.
11:46
He's whining like a bitch. I'm like, you knew it was cold
11:50
when you scheduled this morning. Okay, I told you we.
11:54
Schedule on a rainy day, I told you.
11:55
Did this lay down? You know what I mean?
11:57
And lives like lay down. I said.
11:59
Look, I'll get you a blanket. We had a blanket outside.
12:02
We covered the plants when it's cold.
12:05
I said, well, this is now officially the shit blanket.
12:07
Here you go. So he lays down and I was like,
12:11
you know, we're both in heels. I'm trying to straddle him after
12:14
Liv goes to do this. And I was like, yeah, I'm not
12:17
going to have any problems doing this.
12:18
I never have any problems doing it.
12:20
I don't care. I really do not.
12:21
I don't know how it's in my mind, but I think I really like
12:24
shitting on people. I think it's so fucking fun
12:27
because I'm thinking you piece of shit, you're fucking doing
12:29
it. Yes, you know, but I said to
12:32
him. I was looking between your legs
12:34
trying to see like, did she do it yet?
12:36
Yeah. And you know, I'm going to say
12:38
it was not a log, OK? And it was just popping down.
12:42
Well, I, I told the guy before, I'm like, look, I do not eat
12:48
starches. I do not eat carbs.
12:51
I'm on a carnivore diet. So my diet is red meat, butter,
12:55
hard cheeses. That's what I fucking eat.
12:58
I said. So it doesn't come out in logs.
13:00
I'm not constipated. It's going to come out like
13:03
pudding. Yeah.
13:05
And Matthew is dying. You're you're holding this shit
13:08
bag. Don't fucking hold back.
13:10
So first I pee on him. I'm like, yeah, I have no
13:13
problem. Ping, I said.
13:13
I drank fucking 5 bottles of water.
13:15
Before you do that, as soon as it hit, the pee hit his face.
13:18
He's like, yeah, can I catch it on Jesus?
13:22
Yes, and it was. Like a grass.
13:24
And when he looked at me before I started doing this, he was
13:27
like biting his lower lip like. This was seduction.
13:30
For him. Right for you actually did y'all
13:32
business. I ran around the other side of
13:34
you and I squirted Lube on his Dick and ran away.
13:36
Yes, so now I'm like standing in front of the chair.
13:41
He's laying on the ground. Liv is standing behind the
13:44
chair, looking. Up at your booty hill.
13:46
He's touching his Dick, yes. And so I'm like, OK, I said Are
13:51
you ready? And now he's drowned with piss
13:53
at this point and he's shaking his head yes.
13:56
Your pee was pretty strong too. I thought maybe, you know, he
13:59
didn't want it. He wouldn't have wanted it.
14:01
It was a fucking floodgate of 5 bottles of water that I was
14:04
holding. 5 fucking bottles. OK anyway, because he was like,
14:09
oh, I'm on the carnivore diet too.
14:12
We're going to be carnivore buddies and.
14:14
Carnivore buddies. That's what I told them.
14:17
That's horrible. I did and then.
14:19
We slapped hands. It was great.
14:23
Do you remember this? That was in the beginning.
14:25
It was fucking hilarious. OK, so Needless to say, finally
14:29
he said, yeah, he's ready and lives like he's ready.
14:31
I said, Liv, Are you sure you're going to watch it?
14:33
She's like, oh, yeah, I'm kind of curious about it.
14:36
OK, this is the girl who can't stand my burps because they
14:39
smell like fucking beef Turkey. You do it in the car though, I.
14:44
Do it in the car. But you know what?
14:49
Give me hot box of meat. We don't beef jerky burps.
14:54
But here we are outside and with the weather and the everything
14:58
being cold and still, there's no breeze and it's so fucking cold
15:03
that the air is so still that when I start plopping down some
15:06
pudding. Into his fucking mouth.
15:12
It wasn't on his face. It was on his chest.
15:14
It was in his fucking mouth. His mouth, and then it just kind
15:18
of slid down his throat and on his chest.
15:21
Yeah. And.
15:23
As soon as I saw it, I started. I tried to run but literally.
15:27
I wasn't running. I knew I was getting paid extra
15:30
for this shit, but I was like, I'm leaving, you know, I'm like,
15:33
but it started to smell. So I didn't want to run through
15:35
the smell. But I didn't want to run out the
15:37
gate because I knew I had a sub out there waiting for his turn
15:40
for the mess. So I didn't want to run out
15:41
there and just underwear. Yes.
15:43
And so I was like, oh, you're trying.
15:47
She's like, did she? I was trying.
15:48
I was trying not to gag because I didn't want to ruin his
15:51
fantasy. Yes.
15:53
Then you know, I finally get to make it past y'all and you,
15:55
you're ready to get up and go. You're showing where the most
15:58
was. Yeah.
15:59
Fuck no, that almost gagged and ran inside.
16:01
Yeah, I said to, I said to you, I said, well, do you want to
16:04
help him anymore? And you're like, no, I'm not
16:06
going out there because I looked at him and I said, hey, I told
16:09
you I don't want to leave you. I'm sorry, but I got to go.
16:12
I'm gonna go shower like I told him.
16:14
I'm gonna go shower and then I'll see you back in the
16:16
dungeon. So I leave.
16:18
Liv goes into the dungeon. She brings him a towel.
16:22
Ultimately, after I gagged a little bit in there, I let it
16:25
all out. Then I go back out there and I
16:30
see the the mess that he had created standing there with his
16:34
hose and I'm like, oh God, oh, he was like a zombie, you know,
16:40
that has all that stuff. I was like, here you go.
16:47
You know what, you're back. I was like, I don't want you to
16:50
get it wet because it's raining and wait till you come back.
16:56
Inside Why, You know, it's so funny.
16:57
So here it was raining all that day and then all that night the
17:02
next day. I'm thinking the rain is going
17:05
to dilute the shit. Oh, that's all the.
17:07
Equipment. Yeah, the big old pudding mess
17:09
out there. The pudding mess was still
17:11
there. You.
17:12
Can tell it got rained on, yes. I thought somebody stepped on
17:15
it, but thank God it didn't. Look like a clump thing of
17:17
leaves. Ultimately, yeah.
17:20
Like rod leaves like. Rod leaves.
17:22
We ended up having their session the next day.
17:24
On the way out she goes. That's where she pooped.
17:29
I said good to know. Thanks, I appreciate it.
17:32
You know what's really fucking funny?
17:34
The next day someone stepped in it after I told them, hey, it's
17:39
out there. And I was like, do you know?
17:41
I was like, I tell you it's there.
17:47
I tell you he steps in it. I said, I tell you it's there.
17:53
I tell you where is not to step in it and what do you do?
17:58
Just stepped in it he. Stepped in it, He's like, yeah.
18:00
And the dogs were kind of curious about it, too.
18:03
And it was. You don't have dogs big enough
18:06
to make that mess. Yeah, but they were like, what
18:09
is that? Is that smells like mom?
18:12
No. But whenever he came back in
18:15
because you were in the shower talking about shit boy, yes, he
18:19
come back in. He looked OK.
18:20
He didn't smell. If I, if I had to smell even a
18:23
little bit, yes, I would have gagged.
18:25
I was so like, I was so weak. It didn't matter if I saw a
18:30
little shit in his teeth. They've been over.
18:32
You know, I don't know what I can handle now, but bitch, I got
18:36
you. Sit down, Sit down.
18:40
Like, OK. And then?
18:42
Like we're all good friends, it's no big deal.
18:45
And then I. Got you.
18:46
What? And yeah, he tells you he's like
18:49
it. He didn't like it.
18:50
I was. Like we just dislike it enough.
18:53
Yeah, you should have been throwing up.
18:54
We called bullshit because he was fucking hard the whole time.
18:57
Yeah. And you wouldn't be able to get
18:59
off afterwards. No, and you got.
19:01
You and then I didn't like it, no.
19:03
No. Fucking way.
19:05
So and then he's like, yeah, well, I just wanted that off my
19:07
bucket list. It's like bitch you that's.
19:10
A big ass bucket. List.
19:11
Thank you. Thank you.
19:13
I got a bucket list and that's not one of that is not. 1.
19:16
But hey, I get it, people like stuff like that.
19:19
I don't get it but OK. You're not going to yuck their
19:22
Yum. That's.
19:23
Cool, you know I'm not going to Yum.
19:25
Their yuck lapping up either. So when I came back in, I did
19:32
the same thing. I sat down next to him.
19:34
You know I'm rubbing his chest and you know he tried to play it
19:37
off like he was Mr. Big Bad Boy. He's.
19:41
Like he took this that whales could take.
19:43
Yeah, like he's all dominant and that's how he acted.
19:47
But then when I sat down next to him, he was like a little
19:49
fucking puppy, wanted to nuzzle up to me, and then he wanted to
19:52
kiss me. With his tight breath, as soon
19:54
as he did that grass, I was like.
19:56
Oh, and I was like, that happened.
19:58
Oh no, honey child, Mia, don't kiss in the dungeon.
20:02
I'm talking about how you were going to react to him trying.
20:05
Oh. Well, I'm thinking like he's
20:08
breathing stank on you. He yeah, like.
20:11
Well, how are you going to react?
20:12
Yeah, but you're like, you're like, you like, patted his cheek
20:15
and kissed his forehead. Yeah, like, you're gay.
20:17
You can put your head down and you don't have to breathe my own
20:21
shit right here in my face. Like, yeah, I I don't want to be
20:26
like, I'm in the bathroom right now.
20:28
No, I don't want to smell my own shit.
20:29
And yeah, so Needless to say, like you said, I was patting his
20:32
head and he kept going in like he was like, well, several
20:35
times. Yeah.
20:35
Yeah, several. Times so he I thought you just
20:37
want to yes. I was like.
20:40
Bitch say look, I'm not into that.
20:41
You might be into that, you know.
20:43
Not me though. And I'm cool with it.
20:45
You know, you, you were a champ. You took it.
20:47
Took it, but yeah, and you wanted it, but.
20:50
And then you say you didn't want to, but yet that big old Dick
20:52
was like flopping hard the whole fucking time.
20:55
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it wasn't. But point of it is, it was the
21:00
simple fact that he was erect the entire fucking he was.
21:04
He was jacking his Dick when he shit in his mouth, yes.
21:06
And so after all that, then he was still so excited.
21:10
I said, you know what? OK, I'm just going to sit on
21:12
your face. This is this is how the session
21:14
is going to end. This is what you want.
21:15
He's like, this is what I've wanted.
21:16
I'm like, then you should have fucking said that.
21:18
You know, we, we could have, you know, not have done this.
21:21
Shit, I know he wanted to do this shit.
21:23
He wanted to do this shit outside, but then he's like,
21:25
yeah, I would. I want your ass in my face, you
21:29
know? OK.
21:29
Whatever point of it is, was it interesting?
21:33
It was very interesting. Yeah.
21:35
You know, you were worried about me seeing you different.
21:37
I don't. I just see that guy different.
21:42
But not that I saw him any sort of way before because I didn't
21:45
know him. Yeah.
21:45
But I was like, we're trying to wrap my head around this is a
21:49
normal person. OK?
21:50
Like, that's just out in the world that this.
21:52
We just did this, too. Yeah.
21:54
And he liked it. Yes, my thing of it is I think
21:58
what you're saying is what I'm thinking.
22:00
And that is afterwards concept of how he acted.
22:03
Yeah, he was, Yeah, he was acting arrogant.
22:06
Like, oh, like, oh, he's like, trust me, He's like, I'm not
22:09
going to be one of your regulars.
22:11
And I'm like, yeah, well, you know what?
22:13
I beg to differ because they ain't nobody, no bitch is going
22:17
to do what you wanted that done today.
22:20
And it's hard to ask, even if you thank.
22:22
You thank you, yes. And you know, that's the
22:25
problem. I, I mean, I have, I have
22:27
nothing but respect for these guys.
22:29
I really do. I really, I like that guy a lot.
22:32
I like. Yeah, he's a good guy.
22:34
He's. Attractive, he's nice looking,
22:35
all these things. I don't care if he wants to eat
22:37
shit. I don't care if he wants to eat
22:39
my shit. But you know, it's just like AJ
22:41
for example. AJ, he's a nice guy.
22:44
He is very complimentary. He texts me back and forth.
22:47
He moves stuff. Forward.
22:48
They're always really put together.
22:49
They. Are and they're.
22:50
Cool smell good, their teeth aren't gross.
22:53
I just want to think shit eater. I think like a scary hobo with
22:57
like long greasy, dreaded hair, which that's kind of two
23:01
different things. You know what I mean?
23:03
Just nasty teeth don't brush. Their teeth smell like mold and
23:07
then come in and 80s got beautiful teeth.
23:10
I was like, I ain't no way. Yeah, the shit keeps him shiny.
23:13
Apparently it's that grid in there.
23:17
Yeah, a little extra grid. But you know, as far as AJ goes
23:22
too, when he came in he said perfect, no issues, no hygienic
23:26
issues. This guy perfect, smelled great,
23:29
boom, sexy as fuck I think. He's sexy as fuck I think.
23:32
You like the younger one I. Do damn I do so sorry.
23:36
But. He was almost 30.
23:38
I mean, OK, big deal. It's not like he was 19, but you
23:41
know, I'll go for a 19 year old whatever anyway.
23:43
But I will say he's legal. He's legal, Matthew, but you
23:52
know, we had this one guy and he had been coming to see Bri and I
23:55
for years, but he was from a very, you know, wealthy well to
23:59
do family, but he would come in and he would always smell like
24:02
body odor. Great looking guy, looked like a
24:04
surfer. But again, he had on this nice
24:07
fucking outfits and everything else, but he, you could smell
24:09
fucking Bo. You could just imagine shit
24:12
under his fingers because he wants to eat shit because he'd
24:14
even said. That is a shit eater that
24:16
stomped, yes. Oh, that was one.
24:18
That was the one exception because he would just say, yeah,
24:21
sometimes, you know, I lick my own fingers after I wipe my ass.
24:24
Why do you get your fingers touching your ass?
24:26
Because he wanted to feel his shit and taste his shit.
24:29
Because he wanted it. I know you're looking at me like
24:31
no. You know what this reminds me
24:33
and I don't know if I should bring this up, but I'm going to
24:35
bring it up. Cousin of mine, yes.
24:37
When he was younger and he would be getting in trouble, like he'd
24:40
get in lectured by my 'cause he had to come stay at my mom's
24:43
just 'cause he was being rough at his momma's house.
24:45
So my mom says I got this, You know, she's always been the one
24:48
that's been, like, little boot camp.
24:49
Yeah, but when he'd be doing lectures, he'd have his hand on
24:52
the back of his pants just digging in his ass.
24:55
Yeah. And then he would smell and lick
24:57
his fingers. Now I'm thinking, Oh my God, I
25:00
know an actual shit eater. Yeah, but he would do it, like,
25:03
right in front of everybody in the middle of the lecture.
25:05
Like what? Why the fuck What did you just
25:06
do? Why did you?
25:07
Do that right now. What the fuck?
25:10
Surprise surprise, but OK, so now you know your cousin is a
25:14
shit. Eater, I could see that, yeah,
25:15
but he's kind of grand. Like he's what you would think,
25:18
what I would think, Yeah, a shit eater would look like.
25:21
Well, and I was also thinking, people who listen to the
25:24
podcast, that guy listened to every shit episode because every
25:27
time I started to talk about an episode about shit, he's like,
25:30
Oh yeah, I heard that. No, no, no, no, no.
25:32
But I've heard other guys that have come in and there was that
25:35
he's the one short guy, he's kind of heavy set and he's in
25:38
the strap on play and he's like, yeah, I always make sure that I
25:41
do an enema because I always hear about you and Madam Live
25:44
talk about people, you know, not taking care of that.
25:46
So I don't want to embarrass myself, you know.
25:48
So maybe he took that extra. Even if it happens in the
25:51
dungeon, I try really hard not to embarrass them.
25:54
Yeah, Like, I don't purposely do all that.
25:57
Like, to me, I'm like, it's not their fault.
25:59
Now I feel they like the humiliation of it, or I'm mad at
26:02
them for some reason. I'll say that they're disgusting
26:04
out there on the floor. Yeah, But normally I don't say
26:06
anything. I just say, all right, we're
26:08
done. Yeah.
26:08
Or we had a little accident. We're done.
26:10
Yeah, exactly, I say. I hit gold.
26:12
We're done. I can't say it like that, but
26:16
you know, like I just try hard not to embarrass them.
26:18
Yeah. But yeah, it is something that
26:21
is not enjoyable for our side, but you know it.
26:24
Happens. It happens like it happens.
26:27
More often than you think, even though you do an enema,
26:28
sometimes it does. And you don't need to be like,
26:30
oh, I did it though. But if you do it an hour before
26:33
you come here and don't have nothing, I'm saying because
26:36
people are like, oh, I did it this morning, that's too long
26:38
ago. Do it an hour before.
26:40
Yeah, especially if they've eaten.
26:42
They don't realize some foods. Oh, I've already.
26:45
I haven't eaten and I did this morning, no.
26:47
It doesn't work. It doesn't work.
26:48
Like, yeah, some foods stay in your system, you know, days.
26:52
Because some things take a little bit longer to.
26:53
Digest Exactly. There was one other thing, oh,
26:56
the other thing about this guy, which was funny, is because he
26:59
really couldn't vocalize about what he truly wanted.
27:02
I know that there was more that he wanted, but he kept thinking
27:05
he was a unique case. Like they all think they.
27:08
All think that. They all think that you've.
27:10
Never had one like me or oh, you know, he said.
27:13
He was a little bit more vanilla than most of our clients.
27:15
That's what he told us. Yeah, No, the fuck you're not.
27:18
Yeah, no, no, this is not vanilla and it's actually.
27:21
Chocolate. Pudding.
27:28
You know, she wears a lot of things for me, but don't roll a
27:31
pudding for me. She likes pudding, don't worry.
27:35
I will not. I will not this.
27:37
Is he likes pudding? But you know those Ferrero or
27:42
Cherish? Yeah.
27:43
OK, the what? The fuck are?
27:47
You saying? They're Ferrera brochures,
27:49
chocolates. They're wrapped in coconut.
27:52
They're chocolate. They're not coconut, it's
27:54
peanuts. Peanuts.
27:55
They have a hazelnut in it, and they have.
27:57
A hazelnut. That's right.
27:58
Very good. I made you try one other day.
28:00
Well, I ate one and he started talking about the shit and I was
28:03
like no, it's lumpy in my mouth. I.
28:08
Don't want to eat? No, she's so much.
28:09
She's like you better shut up about it.
28:11
Like these. These are my favorite.
28:13
Yeah, it's all lumpy in my mouth.
28:15
Yeah, can't those. Are my daddy's favorite.
28:17
He actually wanted to be buried with a box of Ferreira Share.
28:21
Wow. Say 1.
28:21
More time dedicated. Say it 1.
28:23
More time Ferrer. That's too funny.
28:30
All right. Wow, OK.
28:33
Well, I think we we need to call this.
28:35
Call this quits, no more ships. All right, so Matthew, you can
28:41
close this out. Until then, this has been the
28:43
latest episode of Call Me Mistress.