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Why some narcissists will break up with you on purpose · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist.
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  Mr. Lee Hammond, better known as mental illness across all social
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  media platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face or hear my voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy and also
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  validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said disorders.
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  Said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about why do some narcissists
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  break up with you on purpose. Yep, on purpose.
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  Yes, yes, yes, y'all. Some of them will absolutely
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  break up with you on purpose. That's just the way it goes.
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  Leave. You said that.
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  But why? Why did they do that?
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  So before we hop into today's episode, y'all make sure if you
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  haven't already, to hop over to Amazon, grab that kids book.
• 0:51
  Remember, it's not your fault on Amazon to help you know, talk to
• 0:56
  you guys about emotional abuse, boundaries, circumstances, and
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  tell them the truth and things like that.
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  So remember, it's not your fault, it's on Amazon.
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  But so why do some narcissists break up with you on purpose?
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  Power, control. All the other good things.
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  All of the other all of the other good, bad things, whatever
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  y'all want to call them. But they do this.
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  One of the main reasons that they break up with you on
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  purpose is to is to see how much you care.
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  They'll not only would they break up with you on purpose,
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  but they'll threaten to break up with you.
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  There's just to see how much you care.
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  You know, literally why do they do it.
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  It's one reason is to see how much you care.
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  Like they'll break up with you. And just like I'm leaving by in
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  in their mind, in their process, they are in their mind, in the
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  mindset like they are hoping that you run them down, you
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  track them down, you beg them to stay.
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  You hope you beg them to not leave you and to try to work
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  things out. They're hoping that you do that
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  y'all. They're hoping that you just beg
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  and plead and cry and scream and all of the other stuff.
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  They they are hoping that you beg them to stay because that
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  gives them the power, that gives them the power, that gives them
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  the upper hand in these situations.
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  That allows them like whatever, if, especially if they've done,
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  if they have done something wrong with to you, if they lied
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  to you, if they cheated on you, if they done something to you in
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  their in their aspect of things right there.
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  It allows them to avoid any type of culpability, literally any
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  like they get away. In their minds they can get away
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  with anything that they want to get away with because they feel
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  like you. You asked them to come back, you
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  begged them to stay, you begged them to not leave.
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  You said hey, we can work on this, they will break up with
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  you, absolutely break up with you on purpose or threaten to
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  break up with you just to see how much you care.
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  Just to see how much control that they feel like they have
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  over you. And yes, a lot of them do this.
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  Y'all a lot of narcissists and talk to people absolutely use
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  this technique. More times than not, they will.
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  They will absolutely break up with you consistently on
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  purpose, just to get a rise out of you.
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  Just to see if how much you care.
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  Just to see. Just just to hurt your feelings,
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  just to see, just to mess with your mind.
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  You know what I mean? They will do that.
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  That's one reason that some narcissists will break up with
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  you on purpose or threaten to break up with you just to try to
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  put you in your place as well, just to try to put you in your
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  place. You know I'll leave, right?
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  They think that in these in these positions, the
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  narcissistic person thinks that they are the prize.
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  They think they are the prize. They they they think that you
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  are winning them like you, or the victory for them for any
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  situation is you. You see what I'm saying?
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  So they think that they are the prize.
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  So they're testing you. They want to see this right
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  here. You know, they want to see how
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  they can mess with you and things of that nature.
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  But another reason y'all. And this reason might escape
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  some people. Some narcissists will break up
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  with you on purpose to go out there and have an excuse to
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  cheat on you. But guess what Y'all Because
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  they broke up with you. He's not cheating.
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  We were broken up. You see how?
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  You see how insidious that is? Yes, some of them do it on
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  purpose. Yes, it's thought out.
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  Yes, it's a plan. Not all of them do it on
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  purpose. But some of them think.
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  Some of them think this out through.
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  They think they think it out. Now, I don't want this person to
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  know that I'm cheating or that I thought about cheating on them.
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  So they will manufacture an argument out of nowhere, right?
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  They will manufacture an argument out of thin, out of
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  thin air and mess with you. And then they'll break.
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  Like you'll break up with them, or they'll break up with you, or
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  you'll ask for space, or they'll ask for space.
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  And then you'll end up back in, like then they'll end up out
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  there on a date with somebody else, cheating with somebody
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  else, sleeping with somebody else, doing something with
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  someone else. To mess with you like it is it's
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  it's only so y'all you cannot say that.
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  That's not on purpose. You know, you cannot say that.
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  That's not on purpose. You you you cannot say that
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  because it is on purpose. They have already met a new
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  person, a new supply, and they plan on like cleaning the slate.
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  Clearing the slate is like, hey, look, when me and me and this
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  person started dating me and you are broken up, you Remember Me
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  and you I got to arguing and fussing and fighting and yeah, I
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  was my feelings were hurt. So I went out and met this
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  person. So you can't You The heart wants
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  what the heart wants. Like they will use breaking up
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  with you as an excuse to go out here and cheat and they will say
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  you caused it. And some of that y'all.
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  And to be clear, when some of them breaking up with you on
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  purpose, they intend on coming back to you.
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  That's why they breaking with you on purpose.
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  They like some of them intend on trying to come back to you.
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  Not all of them will do this y'all.
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  Some of them breaking with you on purpose go out there and
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  cheat and then they leave you and they don't come back.
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  Others will absolutely break up with you on purpose.
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  Find a new supply and come like find a new supply for a little
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  while or temporary supply and come back to you and try to come
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  back. Some of them don't come back,
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  some of them do. You have to be very weary.
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  Y'all, because if you, if you're dealing with a narcissistic
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  person and you, they are always holding this kind of like toxic
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  mistletoe over your head, there's a toxic breakup
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  mistletoe over your head every time.
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  Y'all have an argument, Every time they do something and you
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  try to hold them accountable, they threaten to leave.
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  Yo, they're they are, they are posturing.
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  They are posturing. Sometimes they will actually,
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  yeah, sometimes they will actually leave, but then they'll
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  come back because they expect you to stop them.
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  The ones that leave to try to control you, they are expecting
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  you to stop them from leaving, right?
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  So if you don't stop them from leaving, like they will pop up
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  on you, they automatically look. They tend to think because you
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  didn't stop me from leaving, that must mean you have someone
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  else. Like because you didn't stop me
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  from leaving you. That must mean you have you are
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  in or you are already in another relationship, or you're already
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  considering it. That's where the mind goes in
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  that space right there. Y'all it must mean like you must
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  have someone else because you didn't fight.
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  You're not going to fight for us.
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  You didn't. You never cared about me.
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  They're going to say things like that to you, but at the at the
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  heart of it all, they think that you have someone else, so they
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  come back to you. They try to beat your door down.
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  They get angry at you for not fussing and fighting for the
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  relationship, wouldn't they? Or they are the ones that broke
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  up with you. You didn't stop them from
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  leaving out the door, so you automatically assume that you
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  have someone else. Y'all they will.
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  They'll put it onto your, onto their mind, onto your mind that
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  you have someone else, when all actuality you know the truth.
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  That it's probably them having someone else doing the situation
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  right here, messing with your head, messing with your mind,
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  manipulating the hell out of you and just being horrible to you.
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  You know, just being overall horrible and toxic and terrible
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  to you, you know? That's why I just tell people
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  these situations. Just be very weary if you're in
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  a relationship with somebody that's consistently breaking up
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  with you and when if y'all get is somehow if something if y'all
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  end up getting back together and you find out during those
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  periods of time because through multiple breakups not just one.
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  If it becomes a pattern that doing these breakups they always
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  have someone else or they're always already talking to
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  someone else that breakups can be pre planned to allow them to
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  go out here and escape the cheating allegations.
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  It's not cheating if we're not together.
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  You see how that you see how toxic that that is right there,
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  you see how that works right there in that space.
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  It's not cheating if we're not together that's how it works
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  out. So if you're dealing with a
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  narcissist, toxic person or whoever, just understand that a
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  lot of times it's going to, it's going to A lot of time it's
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  going to fall into, not fall into your lap, but it's going to
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  fall into onto you to make the decision to take your power back
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  and end it for good. Because if they keep breaking up
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  with you and keep coming back, they are in their minds.
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  They're doing what they think is allowed because it is it not
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  allowed? Is it not being allowed?
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  I know you don't understand. I know you might not understand
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  the manipulation behind the scenes, but is it not being
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  allowed? If you look at it from this, if
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  you look at it from different angle, it is being allowed.
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  So you have to empower yourself to be as strong as you possibly
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  can. Because if you don't, y'all, I'm
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  just telling you, they do get worse.
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  The narcissist tax person, whoever you're dealing with,
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  they absolutely do get worse and they don't get that.
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  Why would they? Why would, Why wouldn't they get
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  better? Yeah, why wouldn't they get
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  worse? You know, I just feel like they
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  if they're breaking up with you on purpose, y'all they're doing
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  it for a reason. Like if, if, yeah, this and like
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  this is what I'm. I'm going to end it with this
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  right here. Y'all, just think about this
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  right here. If you're dealing with a person
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  right here and you if you describe your relationship as on
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  and off for an extended period of time, like we've been on and
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  off for this many months, we've been on and off for this many
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  years, we've been on and off for this certain amount of time.
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  Ask yourself what is causing the offs.
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  Ask yourself what is causing the off periods when we are off,
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  what is causing these offs? What is doing?
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  Like how we how, how are we getting here to the off periods?
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  You know how we getting here? How do we get here?
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  How did you get here? How we get here for the off
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  periods? Like what caused the off?
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  Now I feel like understanding that helps you heal and helps
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  you move forward and helps you understand the mindset of the
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  possible narcissistic person that you're dealing with.
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  Ask yourself and be honest with yourself.
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  Be truthful with yourself. What caused the off?
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  You know what caused the? How do we get the Instead of
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  being on and off, on and off, what is causing the off and what
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  is causing the on? You know what I'm saying?
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  If it's not you, if it's not you reaching out to them, what is
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  causing the ONS and offs of the relationship?
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  I feel like that helps you heal and get and dig into a deeper
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  understanding of the inner working of a narcissistic
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  person's mind. Y'all.
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  So anyways, y'all I appreciate y'all tuning into another
• 10:51
  episode. Like I said in the beginning, my
• 10:53
  kids book How to Remember. It's not your fault is out here
• 10:58
  to help kids understand, you know help them understand toxic
• 11:00
  relationship dynamics, toxic spaces boundaries, telling the
• 11:04
  truth and all the other good stuff.
• 11:05
  Y'all it's on Amazon. If y'all already bought the book
• 11:07
  thank you so much. If you can leave me a 5 star
• 11:10
  review on it so I can you know so I can boost it in the
• 11:12
  algorithm, help help reach more people, help reach more kids
• 11:15
  that might be in toxic households and whatnot.
• 11:17
  Anyway y'all thank y'all for tuning in like and subscribe for
• 11:20
  more. And as always, y'all been
• 11:21
  telling this is out peace. Thank you so much for making it
• 11:24
  to the end of my video. Y'all.
• 11:25
  If you didn't know, we wrote a kids book called Remember It's
• 11:28
  not YOUR fault. To help kids understand that
• 11:31
  they are not in control of whatever circumstances they were
• 11:33
  born into. Talk about boundaries, telling
• 11:35
  the truth, all of that stuff. Y'all.
• 11:37
  It's available on Amazon right now or the link in my
• 11:40
  description of every single video or podcast that you listen
• 11:43
  to. Thank you so much.
• 11:44
  Remember, it's not your fault. Peace.