Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / Healing Starts Here With Kimberley Lou

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Healing Starts Here With Kimberley Lou · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete: Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. There we go. I think that's the one I like. We got it. We got it. Boom. Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. There we go. I think that's the one I like. We got it. We got it. Boom. peter: but Pete: went to doing like pre-recordings. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, Amanda Landes: that I had been kind of like since head for a while about about writing the story because Mia Mason: you are not the only one that experiences thoughts, Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, Dr. Erica, before we start wrapping up, I'm going to ask you peter: but Pete: went to doing like pre-recordings. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, Amanda Landes: that I had been kind of like since head for a while about about writing the story because Mia Mason: you are not the only one that experiences thoughts, Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, Dr. Erica, before we start wrapping up, I'm going to ask you Pete: Welcome to another exciting episode of Pete First Inside. Before we get started today, guys, I want to give a shout out to my partners over at PsychPal, guys. there'll be a link in the description of this episode, as always. seven-day free trial. Use my code PEET at checkout to get 20% off. Guys, with that being said, let me introduce my guest today. I am greatly honored to have this person today. You've seen her on HBO, ESPN, Dr. Phil E Entertainment, the one, the only Kimberly Lewis here with me today. Kimberly, it is a great honor to have you here. Kimberly Lou: thank you so much for having me. I was just telling you before, I love your website. I love your mission, and I needed to be a part of this. Absolutely. Pete: Thank you so much, Kimberly. For Kimberly, for everybody that doesn't know who you are, why don't you give them a little rundown, a little bit about yourself? Kimberly Lou: wow, well what do you want to know? I'm founder of Guiding Hands Healthcare. It's a mental health facility. we're in about a hundred and fifty centers. I have about a team of eighty people that work for me. as of now, that was just seven years ago when we started it in my little living room. And then all of a sudden now it's just grown and we're creating like institutes and education and all the different things. And I've written eight books for our published. The one that I'm the most proud of is called Becoming Who You're Meant to Be. And it's fantastic. You can get it on my website, KimberleyLew.com, or you can go to guidinghandshealthcare.com. And I mean, what what all do you want to know? Cause I I'm I'm ready to talk about some anxiety, but how to get out of it too. Pete: I mean it what what got you What what got you started though? Is that is that something's always been a passion? Psych is psychology always been a big thing for you? I always like to ask people that question 'cause it's interesting to hear how people start. Kimberly Lou: Well, here's the thing. I'm so my I'm gonna get a little probably I'm gonna give you T T TMI is out with too much information. So I I I don't know many people have had the level of trauma I've had and live to tell about it. that that being said, I feel like life happens for you, not to you. Right? And my dad had got me hooked on drugs when I was twelve, and then I ended up in a home for kids at 15. And it's really interesting because Pete: Yeah, you could go right ahead. This is his place to do it. Kimberly Lou: I was supposed to be in that home for about six months, but I was so mentally gone that they kept me for over a year and a half. And then it's interesting too because graduating from there, couldn't figure out how to pay my bills, all the different things. They they gave me a tree trunk to live in, which was really interesting. I don't know many sixteen year olds that would live in a tree trunk. And I would ride my bicycle 11 miles one way to high school. Which is kind of interesting because my daughter, I can't even get her out of bed to drive her to school, let alone let alone what sixteen year old drives themselves one way eleven miles in Cathedral City, right? Desert hot springs to Cathedral City. there was no snow involved. You know, like people say I walked five miles in the snow barefoot, but Pete: Jeez. Yeah, true. That was that was my dad. It's like, yeah, I used to work five miles down the road and there's something like that. You also grew up in Canada. I'm sure there's someone was higher taller than you, pretty much. Kimberly Lou: Yeah. But you know, I I remember getting my first job in a treatment center when I was sixteen years old and I worked two full-time jobs and I and I went to high school full time and eventually I was able to get out of that tree and find a car and buy a car. My first car was a nineteen eighty-two Tory Editor cells, a stick shift. Pete: Yep. Yep. Mine was an eighty five Honda C R X stick shift as well. I I could drive that thing blind. It was even so you know, I loved it though. It's my little I even spray painted mine because I was a I'm a big W Chicago White Sox fan, so Frank Thomas Frank Thomas is one of my favorite players of all time. So I spray painted my car black with the silver thirty five on the side of it. Yeah, I thought it was really cool. Kimberly Lou: Nice. Yeah. Okay, I he I saw that. Love it. I mean, I mean, I'll never forget that car. It was the best thing for me. You know, 16 years old, it didn't have any air conditioning, and I lived in Desert Hot Springs, so we all know how hot it can get out there. And I just loved that car more than anything, more than life itself. I was just so proud of myself at 16 that I was being gonna be able to do that. But I remember driving my friend to she was like, Kim, can you take me to high school? I want to register. And I was and I was like, Okay. Pete: Yeah. Kimberly Lou: So I went there and the principal's like, Are you gonna sign up too? And I was like, No, I'm good. I'm just gonna, you know, do my little thing. And he goes, You need to sign up. Just try it for a month. Just try high school for a month. And I was like, Okay. But I ended up graduating and she ended up dropping out, which is kind of ironic, isn't it? What was I hated school too? Pete: Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. I hated school though. I I do it's more because I struggled because I had learning disabilities, so it was hard for me, you know. You know, it was it was just it was just I hated it. I got through it though. And then after that point I was just like, Ugh, I didn't want to do any more school after that. So I just kinda float around and did jobs. But yeah. When I got my first car too, I was so excited. It was a little two seater, you know. And I was like, heck, I thought I I thought I had the cats cast pajamas, man. I like, All right, let's go, I can get around now. Kimberly Lou: Me too. Yeah. Pete: And things like that too. But I I went through a lot of cars as a kid, man. Like I there was always something wrong. I had some friend do something stupid. Like one time he drove it in the one of the second gears or something down the highway and he tore one of the belts or something. I was like, Yeah. Yeah, this is not a good route for me. No. Mm mm. Kimberly Lou: Ha ha I love it. So so any I love I love that we're talking about cars too. But it's very interesting. So I stayed sober for about twelve years. But I didn't address my mental health. So I went back out and got loaded. You know, and I had Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah, but a lot of times th those two don't play in hand in hand, though. Think about it. You know, a lot of times people medicate to deal with their mental health is usually the reason why a lot of people get addicted to things. Kimberly Lou: That's right. Absolutely. Well, that's me. You know, I had complex PTSD plus a few other things going on. And I never knew, you know, I never addressed my trauma. I only addressed like, okay, I'm gonna stay sober. And I went to meetings and I kind of did the things, but I didn't really get down to the nitty gritty of why I was drinking and using. And because of that I was I went back out and I lost everything. I lost at the time I was married. Big beautiful house at the beach. I lost my career. I lost everything in a matter of a couple of years. And I started living under a bridge pregnant with my daughter. She was 15 years, you know, she's 15 now, but that was like 15 years ago. It's crazy. But I remember being, you know, under a bridge, and then my dad died. So I was able to get a Hyundai Santa Fe car. You know, I lost everything. I literally lost everything. That's where my drugs and alcohol take me. Pete: Mm-hmm. Kimberly Lou: And so I was able to get a little bit of time under my belt. I was able to get a car, Hyundai Santa Fe, another stick shift. I love that car too. And and I was living in it for a little while, but I remember being on the side of the road just screaming at God because I was like, How am I gonna take care of this baby? I can't even take care of myself. What the hell am I gonna do? You know, and I remember looking up and in a car in front of me, it said, Pete: Mm-hmm. Yep. Kimberly Lou: In a license plate, right? And I was like, right? What? Eight books later, tons of curriculum later. You know, all the different things. But it's so interesting, too. If you would have asked, if you would have said to me 15 years ago, Kim, you're gonna own very two very, very successful companies, multi-million dollar companies. You're going to have the life of your dreams, you're gonna have a PhD almost there, a couple months away. you're gonna be married, you're gonna have all of these things, people are gonna be working with you, and you're gonna help people with their mental health. I'd be like, nope, nope, nope, nope, not somebody like me can't do that. Sixth grade education, because I know I could graduated from a continuation school, even though I had a high school education, I had dyslexia and a little bit of ADHD on top of that. So, with that, it's like, how could somebody like me live the life that I'm living now? There's just no way. And then Pete: Yeah. Kimberly Lou: Not and even on top of that, it's like, no, thank you for all that responsibility. There's no way I want all that responsibility that comes along with it. But but if you would have told me 15 years ago, I'd be like, there's no way. But for some reason, I just kept moving forward. And it's really interesting looking back, and I always feel like I don't know, I believe in some kind of higher power. I'm not gonna name it, I'm just gonna say universal intelligence, whatever you want to believe is great. But I remember Pete: Right. Yeah. Kimberly Lou: hearing in my vo in a voice in my head say, if you just make one small change a day, five minutes, one medium sized change a week, 20 minutes, one big change a month, an hour, what's your life gonna look like in a year from now with close to 400 changes? So I remember, you know, after a year of being sober again, and then I just I there's this time around I have about 13 and a half years sober. And there's not been one day where I haven't addressed my mental health or my addiction in one way or another, you know? But five minutes a day and then one change a day, one small change a week, one big change a month. You look back 15 years and you're like, Holy shit, how did I get here? And you know, you think about it too, like when you're first starting out, a lot of times your container is very kind of small, but eventually it just starts to get bigger. So as you start to let go of Pete: All right. Kimberly Lou: the things that held you back, the the the stories that we're telling ourselves or the maladaptive coping skills and all the different beliefs and all of that, as you start to move through that, you start to have the capacity to be able to handle other things. Am I making any sense? Pete: Yeah, my perfect sense. Yeah. Cause I did the same thing this past year. I let go a lot of things. Like I always blame my mom because she abandoned me and was 10. She literally took me to my dad's doorstep and dropped me off. You know, always used that as a crutch. But now it's like I just let it go. It was like, you know, and it was the hardest thing to do though, because like when you're trying to do it, it's like this endless wall that just kept popping up. Like for whatever reason, I just couldn't get over the hump. Like we stopped talking for like 13 years for a little bit because I was so mad when my daughter was born. Kimberly Lou: Yeah. Pete: She started like yelling at me, even though I was doing everything right. I'm like, I'm still there, I'm still active in the child's life. I'm still being, you know, doing what I have to do. And then you're over here screaming at me, like, yeah, okay, I'm I'm 19 having a kid, but at least I'm being a responsible adult and staying and and trying to be a part of the child's life and do everything I can for him. But you're screaming at me and I'm like, Yeah, but that's the way my mom has always handled things. So and you know, but like I s I I went through a divorce recently, you know, she still won't sign the papers, but you know that's a whole nother story to talk about. Kimberly Lou: Right. I can really Pete: But you know, there's there well, there's a lot of interesting conversations to have with that because I told her that I thought about killing myself and she told me make you need a thirteenth reason why. I was like, okay, cool. So then it makes means that I have no reason for you to be around anymore. When I shed her and everything else, everything else just started changing. Like I had no relationship with my daughters like till about now. And they could see the changes. Like I I recently went to go visit my oldest, she actually graduated high school and You know, one of them told me, she's like, You don't seem like the same person you were before. I'm like, I haven't. I've been doing a lot of work on myself, you know, doing a lot of meditation and things like that. I talked to my self a lot of times too, you know, because that was the hardest part was that forgiveness thing. But at the same time, if if that sequence of events never happened, I would never be doing this show now because I always want people to feel open and safe in this space. You know, like this is what I opened the studio up for. People to come in here, tell me so I get some wild stories in here. Like there's there's some stories that get pretty intense in this room that we talk about, you know, but it's I don't judge anybody because I'm like, that's the whole reason I did this thing is because I want this conversation to be real, you know, because too many people share things on the internet and we all know how that goes. You know, you get all these people start saying a bunch of things and the negative things that come up and it's like, you know, we don't need to be negative. You know, especially every time I see somebody talking about, I'm celebrating X amount of days. It doesn't matter. One, two, three, four, five, if you're One day it's just six hours sober, I'm celebrating it like you just won the won the big game because like, you know, these guys get enough scrutiny for going through these things and the way they get looked at and it's it's it's just sickening 'cause it's like, you know, it costs nothing to be kind to people, you know? Like why can't we just be nice to people? Kimberly Lou: I agree. Absolutely. And the thing is is oftentimes I always tell people if it's hysterical, it's historical, meaning if I'm having a big emotion or if I'm having a big reaction to someone, by the way, this is Lover Girl and she loves to be on camera, just so you know, she's gonna be all over this show. but I always say if it's hysterical, it's historical, meaning that if you're having a big reaction, it usually has nothing to do with me. So, but that's also, you know, if I'm pointing at somebody, how many fingers are pointing back at me? Pete: Ha ha. Exactly. Kimberly Lou: So if I'm having a hard time with somebody, it's usually something about me that I don't like within myself. And I get a lot of pushback, you know, push back from that. Well, I didn't I'm not this person or I'm not that. I I get that. And if it if there wasn't something inside of you that would trigger it, it's kind of like this wound. If this cigar burn, right? If you put salt in it, what would happen? Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it react. Kimberly Lou: Right? Yeah, but it w it would be fine, right? Because it why do you think if I put salt in this wound right here, it would be okay? Pete: Mm, yeah, that's true. I don't I don't know. I don't think it'd be okay. That hurt. Kimberly Lou: Well, do you think if I put salt on my arm right now? Pete: No, it'll be fine though, 'cause it's healed. Kimberly Lou: Because it's healed. That's right. So I think sometimes we when we're not healed from the inside, then we project onto others that healing. But we also project onto others too what we wanna be or what what we are, the the good parts of ourselves. Sometimes we don't even know how to own the good parts of ourselves. But again, if my wound is healed, then it doesn't matter if I can talk about it, but it doesn't hurt anymore, if that makes any sense. Pete: Yeah. And plus your story matters to people too. People hearing that they can relate to someone that is that's as successful as you are, you know, and they hear this story. They're like, well, you know, Kimberly's been through this. Well, I've been through it too. You know, I think that's the great part is when I get people like yourself that come on and share these stories. It it helps people connect even more to you because then it's like, you know, hey, listen, I Kimberly went through I did too. You know what I mean? And like it c makes helps people connect to you because they feel like they they get to hear the real stories and things like that. And that's why the format of the show has always been so casual like that. Kimberly Lou: I love that. Pete: It's just because I like just having conversations with people because I've listened I go listen to a lot of people's old interviews and listen. I'm like, dude, I can't do this to them. Like that was the one thing I set out to do is be different than everybody else, you know? And everybody that gets in the podcasting space, I tell they're all like, there's all these flooded shows. I'm like, Yeah, but your your own voice and your way you do things is different than everybody else. Like you can copycat some of the things people do, but it's your voice they're listening to. They're not listening to this other person, you know, and things like that. I think a lot of people get that muddled a lot of times too. Kimberly Lou: You know what it's really interesting? I remember I read the book Think and Grow Rich. And then I read a a couple of other ones too because I was like, how do people make money? Because I'm so broke all the time. I don't know how to do it. And I remember, hold on, my hair is doing something funny here. I gotta fix that. Anyway. So I remember I used to go to all these seminars, but I would I would I was really good working a camera. So I would Find the person who needed volunteers or whatever. And I would say, Hey, I can shoot, I can film camera, I can do all kinds of things. And so I would work for free and then get up close and personal with the masters of the seminars, right? The main speakers. And I started just to learn and I started to go every seminar I possibly could and just be of service wherever I could and just gain the information, you know? And and what I started realizing is nobody's different. Everybody has I don't want to say that everybody has the same, but the thing is, is like you could have all the resources in the world and still not succeed because you're not applying yourself. And I think I think when you're given the gift of desperation, like like myself or like you, right? Where we're given the gift of desperation, it's like it allows you to roll up your sleeves and do the work because it's the the pain of not moving forward out. Grows or outweighs the pain of just staying stuck, if that makes any sense. You know? So it's important. It's important. But I don't know, you know. I think in life, you also need people there. But the thing is, sometimes in the beginning, when you're starting to, I want to say outgrow certain people. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Kimberly Lou: What happens is as you start to shift and change, people kind of leave. So there's a place and time where it gets really lonely and you're kind of by yourself. And it doesn't feel like anything's helping you or anyone's helping you, if that makes any sense. So as you start to move forward, you're gonna experience shifts and change. And as you rise up, a lot of people will fall away. But the people who are meant to be there will rise up with you. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. See, I I'm big into energy and that whole space. So like I look at it like, you know, they don't like your energy. So you expel the people, you attract the people you want. Same same principle of what you're what you were saying, basically though. But yeah, yeah. this has been a solo project for a while. And everybody's like, you should hire somebody to come. But I don't want to. That's the thing. I enjoy doing this. This doesn't feel like work to me. Like I showed people what I do. The first season of this show, I did a hundred episodes and people are like, geez. Kimberly Lou: Mm-hmm. Pete: How many do you got this week, Pete? And I'm like, every day I was recording different episodes. And some of them were live, in fact, in the original set when we did it originally. And then I went to to close personal conversations because a lot of them got really got really intense for people to handle. You know, like I had some people that were really great, other people, you know, but it's you know, that's why I went to doing like pre-recordings. So I pre-record the show and things like that ahead of time. So I have time to do other things. So I do this show when I do another show called Voice of the Voiceless. Which is like, you know, where the story matters for a lot of people. So I have a co-host with that one, in and things like that too. But you know, this has always been a solo project and I've had tons of people come and say, can I come guest host with you? Maybe. And I never get back to Mebre. And it's just like I don't have the heart to tell No. I'm like, you know, sorry, this is a solo project. I've been working at this since day one on my own. Kimberly Lou: Think I think there's been so many times in certain businesses where I've tried to have business partners and it seems like there's now, now it's a little different. But in the beginning, everything would work when I was doing it solo. But when I started gaining partners, that's when my businesses would fail. Because there's sometimes people aren't willing to do the work. And it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong, or maybe you have a different opinion, doesn't maybe they are doing the work, but maybe you have different Pete: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Kimberly Lou: past, but I think that the universe kind of shows you like quit trying to, you know, you're meant to do this on your own. And the thing is too though, you'll get to a certain point to where then you can't do it on your own anymore. Meaning you'll start to get so big that you're going to need a team of people to help you. And I think that was the most challenging thing about being a CEO and a founder is, you know, passing your vision down to other people and allowing them to hold your baby. Pete: Yeah. Kimberly Lou: And to take care of your baby while you go off and and do other things. Because the thing is, it's like if you're not growing, you're dying, in my experience. So you could have the greatest thing since sliced bed of bread. But if you're not going with the times, if you're not recalibrating and re-looking and and kind of like Blockbuster, right? It just kind of went out. Blockbuster was like the sliced bread, right? Pete: Yeah. Mm. Kimberly Lou: And then all of a sudden now they're not there anymore because they weren't changing with the times. There, so there comes a point in time where you can't do it all, but you can hire someone to who has your vision, if that makes sense. So I have a whole team at Guiding Hands. I have over 80 people working with me. And my core team is so interesting. When I first started, I hired everyone from Starbucks. It's because Starbucks, their workers work hard, man. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Kimberly Lou: And I hired my executive director. She was I hired her as my nanny at the time, actually. And and and she now runs my entire company. She allows me to go off and do the Pete: Yeah, I'll I'll get to that point where I'll have to start bringing some other people in, but it's like I just like I push against it because I don't people don't want to put the same amount of time in as I do. And when people see the back scene of what I'm doing here and how much work I'm spending and things I'm doing and posting all these things, I have different tools that assist me to do all that kind of stuff. And you know, I usually go live. I'm live on TikTok sometimes with people, so I show the back scene of what it's like what I'm working on and I show people like, Hey, these are the some things I'm doing, and you know, and they're like, Wow, I don't know how you do it. You know, and I I don't know if you know human design all, but I'm a man generator, which l explains why I do twenty different projects. So I'm constantly doing something. So I record this show, I record the other show. I do every Wednesday I get together with a friend of mine. He as Uncle Jimmy has a podcast. So we go and we go live and we just talk about mental health things like that too and and stuff like that. I go on other shows. I I I'm always constantly moving. I just finished another national media panel I did again with somebody where I was Kimberly Lou: Yeah. Pete: was on the panel for a third time, which I was a great honor to be a part of that as well. Again, you know, meet meet more people for the show and things like that. You know? And it it's always funny because people are always asking me how to get in the show. And it's just like I we were talking about it's like just ask me. Like if if you fit, you fit. If you don't, you don't like just like everybody's always telling me, Well Pete, you better give me a time. Okay. And those people don't get times. Okay. So anytime you tell me, hey, give me a time You you're gonna be waiting a long time because I don't give you the time. You can you there's a calendar for a reason I got in place. Let me tell you when I discovered that, that was the greatest thing ever. Because I was trying to schedule everything on my own. It was a nightmare. I thought I was gonna have a panic attack during the first few months doing this thing at Kimberly Lou: Right. Yeah. Have a literal team of people just to manage the schedule because we're in 150 centers, right? With 80 different people, with different curriculums and one-on-ones and groups and all the different things that come along with all of the things, right? And so heaven forbid a tire blows out, or you know, somebody gets sick and they call out 10 minutes before, and you know, you're running across. So you need a team of people eventually. But that said, it doesn't mean that you can't add that. Pete: Right. Kimberly Lou: personal touch. Mm-hmm. Pete: Right. Yeah. So Kimberly, I did want to ask you something though. I know you said you have a daughter. Is she is the only child you have? Is she your only child? Kimberly Lou: Hmm. Yeah, God gives you only what you can handle. Pete: So my my question to you is is mental health a big conversation you have with her? Be being, you know, her age now, with the thing well, because I asked that because you know, with social media and the influences that she'll see in social media and things like that, is is that a big concern to you, that the things that she's seeing? Kimberly Lou: Yes and no. Here's the thing. Here's here's yes and no, because we we have gone through some pretty rough patches. I'm not gonna try to pretend that I'm a perfect mom at all. she and when my mother was alive and my mother are the only ones who can trigger me within like one to five seconds. I'm sure you get that. Right. And I've had to learn how to do tools and all of that. I think sometimes though we can get into this therapy culture where we're kind of re traumatizing everyone as opposed to Pete: Okay. Mm-hmm. Yep. I get it one hundred percent. Kimberly Lou: Now, I always think I always say 20% problem, 80% solution. Right. So what are we going to do about it? And I know that if I sit there and therapi, my daughter always says, Don't therapise me, mom. You're therapizing me again. And I have to remember that she's a kid and what she's doing, a lot of the things that she's doing is normal. So instead of saying, okay, you need to fix this or we need to go in here, you need, you need to talk about the problem over and over and over and over again. She knows what she needs to do. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because you're the one that talked everything, so Kimberly Lou: If that makes any sense. So I try to put her in therapy a ton and she just doesn't do well in therapy, but she does do well with boundaries and she does do well with like consequences and the things like that. So I think sometimes we can over therapize. And sometimes we just need to set a boundary. Pete: Mm. Yeah. Yeah, you know, i that's my was my biggest fear too with the internet. It's just like the things these guys see these days is just like like God, I remember we remember we were in the nineties when the internet first got it. Just when I was in the nineties when I was growing up, Jesus. The things we saw were f were horrible. Like these days, like Kimberly Lou: You have the application. Gary. Pete: I open my Instagram and some days I'm just like, Yep, I'm done for the day. You know, that's why I tell my one friend, I'm like, I'm done for the day. I can't do the same. She goes, Why? What did you just watch? I'm here, I'll send it to you. Because I get like weird videos because a friend of mine would like to send send me weird things all the time. So now my feed comes up with random things that show up sometimes. So, you know, it's been an inside joke for a long time. I should do another show called Pete versus his feed and have people come sit down and watch my social media, you know, just the things that are coming down the line of these things. It's just the weird shit you see on the internet. Kimberly Lou: Yeah. So many. Well, I think I think too i with boundaries. Let me go back to boundaries for a minute because you're talking about anxiety. So think about it this way. Let I say to you, Pete, let's go on a trip. And and you say, Okay, I say, Where do you where are we gonna go? Where are we gonna go on this trip, Pete? I say, Come on, come on, Pete, we're going to chicken I got it all covered. Get in the backseat of my car. So you get in the backseat with me. Pete: You know you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. We're gonna go to Japan. We'll say Japan. Kimberly Lou: I mean, you get in the backseat and I get in the backseat with you and you say, Kim, who's going to drive the car? And I say, Pete, don't you worry. My three-year-old daughter is going to drive us to the airport and fly us to the plane. So you just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. If you're any sane not so sane person, what are most people going to say? Right. No. So most of us are making major life decisions with a three year old, four year old, five year old mindset and belief system. That's not even true. So if you wouldn't let the child drive the car, fly the plane, why the hell are you letting them drive your life? Pete: It's like hell no. Three year old driving me? Nope. Yeah. True. Very true. Okay, good point. All right, good point. Yeah. Kimberly Lou: So most of mental health challenges come from maladaptive coping skills that we used to do that helped us survive. But the very thing that helped us survive is now the very thing killing us. So we can't do the same thing we did to survive, to thrive. We have to unlearn everything. And that's where boundaries come in. So I say to you, okay, you know, Pete, we're in Japan and we're on the tallest skyscraper. And and we're Pete: Mm-hmm. Kimberly Lou: In a room, and the most beautiful view is out on the balcony. But there's only one catch, there's no railings. Would you go out on the balcony? You would. Okay. Most people wouldn't. Because there's no structure to keep them contained. Most people would take a look a hundred you know, flights up and be like, No, I'm gonna just go inside. So Pete: Yeah, I would. Kimberly Lou: Boundaries are the one thing that help keep you contained so that you can lean up against the the railing and an overlook. You can even sit on the railing. But as long as there is a boundary there, then people feel a lot safer. That makes sense. Pete: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. That makes sense. So I mean it obviously it works too because you said that she reacts better to those versus everything else you tried, so Kimberly Lou: So So and she there has been times where she's needed to go to therapy and she's talked that out. And then there's times where I feel like maybe it might have done more harm than good in certain situations. So I think with structure and boundaries, I think with a kid, I need to get the help. Pete: Yeah. Kimberly Lou: And then create that container for her. It's almost like a child. If if a child's crying and you're not able to emotionally regulate yourself, do you are you think do you think that you're gonna be able to emotionally regulate your child? So they're learning from you. So you're scaffolding from them. So you're helping them hold that big container and feeding it to them in bite-sized chunks. Pete: No. Yeah, very true. Okay, very true. Yeah, it makes sense. Kimberly Lou: So when I can learn to manage my yeah, and then when I'm setting boundaries with her, she feels safer. Pete: Yeah, 'cause you're you're giving her the the respect she d she wants, though, you know, 'cause a lot of at the age want that want to feel like they're adults too a little bit. Well, mom, I'm old enough to make some decisions and you know, you're leading her. It it'll happen. Like we we all failed. Kimberly Lou: Is she gonna fail? She's going to fail so hard. And I'm going to fail too. So I think also, I think we have this high expectation of we what we have to do as parents or have to do as children and all the different things. But what if everything's working out for our good? And a lot of times when there's a challenge, like let's say with my daughter, I always think, I wonder how God's going to fix this. Pete: Yeah. I assume. True. Kimberly Lou: You know, w what what do I need to do in order to become the kind of mom that she needs in order to to to be to be there for her, to help her emotionally regulate? Because if I match her energy, is that gonna help? Pete: Mm, not really. Kimberly Lou: Anytime that I've ever matched your energy, it's not been good. Pete: Yeah, yeah, I remember those times when me and my old man made some energy sometimes. It was about to be a front line front yard fight. Never got that far, but we were we got hot enough, you know, that but you know, i and things like that too. But I've learned how to to melt a lot a lot more. Him on the other hand, he's just gonna do what he's gonna do. He's he's a salty old war dog. He'll just do whatever he wants to do at that point. Kimberly Lou: And people are gonna do what they're gonna do. But the thing is is when when you are setting those boundaries, you can either they can either rise up or they can have consequences. I don't need to get mad and give the consequence. I can just give the consequence. And she she Yeah. Pete: Yeah. Exactly. You know, that was one of the hardest things I had to learn though, is like like I was always an angry person like that. And now I don't react the same way. It it throws people off because they're waiting for me to respond. But really what I'm doing is I'm sitting there thinking about the what the next step is I'm gonna do. You know, so I'm hearing what people are saying, but I'm really con I'm really plotting my next move that what I'm gonna say next. Because most people want me to jump off the handle like I used to do, but I don't do it anymore. Kimberly Lou: Yeah, me too. Yes. Yeah. Pete: And it throws everybody off. They're like, no, he's he's not saying anything. This is either he's mad or so No, I'm fine. Like people ask me that too, are you mad? I'm like, No, I'm good. I just don't I just don't see the point of getting mad anymore. Kimberly Lou: I think too, working with patients oftentimes, especially in treatment centers, think about it this way. Most of them are very bored. They're going to want to create drama. So they're going to pick on you. But oftentimes, too, they're all of these things are coming up and they don't have their coping skill. They don't have their drug helping them not have anxiety. So they're going to push and they're going to push and they're going to push. Oftentimes when a client is super angry and they're yelling at me. Pete: Mm-hmm. Kimberly Lou: I'll often ask, what are you sad about? And nine times out of ten, they'll just start crying. So it's just communication. I think sometimes people's big reactions, they're trying to get a big reaction out of you, but they're also trying to put their problems onto you so they don't have to face their own. They're projecting. So there's this thing in in in psychology called transference, counter-transference. So if I if I'm counter-trans, if I'm the Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Kimberly Lou: Therapist or the psychologist, and I'm working something out, I might put it onto the client, and now all of a sudden the client is my mom or dad, or and I've got to be really careful. But it can also go in reverse, where the client is being triggered and might feel like you're the parent. So oftentimes, if somebody has a big hysterical, historical moment, I'll just sit back and ask, who do I remind you of? What do you need in this moment? Does that make any sense? Pete: You know, a lot I think a lot of people don't ask that question though. Like, you know, I I thought it was interesting. I was on a panel and everybody in the panel had these great grand answers. And I said, Well, what about asking the individual in the moment? Like the the question was like, What do you do when somebody starts like freaking out? I said, Everybody else had these great answers, but I comes to me and I go, Well, why don't we ask them how we can help them better? And everybody in the panel stops and goes, Well, I agree that guy down in the end. I'm like, What what do you mean? Like Like that should be the first thing. Ask how we can better help Like you don't, you know, you don't know what they're dealing with. And anybody knows better than anybody. We usually the person that's freaking out could tell you how to help them better, you know, in those moments and things like that too. And all these guys have these great answers and then ever no one even said that. It's like, so everybody here just seems to forget that maybe if we just ask them if how we can help them and maybe it maybe the solve of the problem here, we don't have to make this even worse than it is, you know what I mean? And I thought that was funny that all these people looked at me and go, Well, I like Pete's answer the best. I'm like, All I've said is the obvious answer here. Why can nobody here say it? Like you have all these great things, but you know, the one thing we should have done is just ask a question to somebody. Kimberly Lou: I remember one time I was in one of the treatment centers and there were six six patients sitting around and we were all having a really beautiful conversation and and I got to this one guy and I was like, Okay, well he he he says to me, I hate you. I hate this place, you're full of shit. I fucking hate this you you guys are liars. And I said, Well Okay, got it. So you you're calling me a liar and he goes, Yeah. I'm calling you a fucking liar. And I said, okay, got it. And everybody's jaw was hitting hitting the ground. And I was like, tell me more. Tell me why I'm a liar. Well, you know, it's like I got to this place and it's not what it what it said it was gonna be and all the different things. I go, okay, well, I did I tell you that it was gonna be that way. I said, I just met you ten minutes ago. And he goes, Well, no, it's just always this way. I go, what do you mean it's always this way? He goes, This is my fifty first time in treatment. Pete: Jeez. Kimberly Lou: And nothing works. Nothing is, you know, is changing. And I go, so it sounds like you're feeling hopeless. Yeah, because, you know, and he started to go in and this, you suck, and everybody sucks. And I go, I I get that. Sounds really hard. And he just started crying. I just want to be normal. I just want to be a productive member of society. I just want to. And and I said, okay. Pete: Yeah. Kimberly Lou: Does anybody else feel this way? You know? And all the other clients were like, Yeah, I feel that way too. And I felt that way myself. You know, oftentimes when people are upset, there's a reason for it, but it's usually not the reason that we think it is. So oftentimes when somebody's doing this, we do this, as opposed to maybe we need to do this. And just and just love. Some you know, a lot of times people are trying to Yeah. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Even even even just listen, like in that situation, like you said, just listen to Let be felt heard because sometimes that's what it is. A lot of people don't feel like they're being heard enough. Like they just like so, you know, and that that's great though. The fact that you stayed so calm when he said I fucking hate I was la I'm thinking about it laughing, it's funny. I'm like, damn, killers just standing like, Okay, well, yeah. Kimberly Lou: Thank you. Yeah. That's exactly it. They're all the most good. It was fun. It was fun for me because I I got it. I've been there. I mean, I I feel like too, I could be out of my rocker, but my belief is whoever's in front of you is kind of a version of you. And so when you can really just try to see past the schemas and all the maladaptive poping skills that help them get to where they are and see to who they really are, that's where the magic happens. But it takes a minute to get through all of those barriers in order to get to the real person. Because the real person is loving and happy and beautiful and all the different things. These are just behaviors that try to push people away. It's it's a it's a protective mechanism. So when you can get past that barrier, people tend to soften. And then that's where the trust can be built. And I s I find too that a lot of people, I mean, I work with a lot of therapists and and and and psychologists and providers and Pete: Mm-hmm. Kimberly Lou: One of the things that I had a challenge with, and and when I'm working with my staff and mentoring and coaching them, supervising them, I notice a big theme. And it's not just them, it's me too, right? I fit I need to fix it. But the thing is, is nothing needs to be fixed. They're not broken. Clients' patients are not broken. They just have maladaptive coping skills that used to work, they just don't work anymore. So When we can get them to just be in their bodies, come down into and just feel. Most drug addicts and alcoholics will take will destroy their lives and the lives of everyone around them, not to feel for two and a half to five minutes. It usually takes about two and a half to five minutes to collapse a big emotion. I call those raisin size emotions. And then the big emotions, the ones that feel like you're gonna die, you don't want to do those by yourself. Like I call them prune size emotions. usually take about 15 to 20 minutes to collapse. But you don't wanna do that by yourself because those are the ones that kinda land you in the hospitals. Those are more like panic attacks, anxiety, all the different things. So what what patients don't realize is the panic attack is not gonna kill them. But what they're doing to avoid it may. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kimberly Lou: So when we can when we can help them, just let's do it right now. Let's take a deep breath right now. Do it with me, be ready. Okay, let's do two more. Last one. When we can help people get into their bodies, what they'll realize is that big emotion might come up, but it's gonna pass. And then it usually goes away. And then there's this level of peace that comes over you that you don't even know how you got that. But if you just sit there for two and a half to five minutes and just feel the anxiety for a moment, what do I feel in my body? I feel it in my chest. Okay, chest. Usually you're the heart, usually that's probably a little bit of grief. Pete: Yeah. Kimberly Lou: If my heart could speak, what would it say? Pete: Say a lot of things, I'm sure. Kimberly Lou: Like what? Pete: well my situation my my anxiety is going it's usually mad panic 'cause like it does. You feel it I feel it right here in the chest. So when you say that that's I relate to that. Kimberly Lou: Yeah, okay, what's the panic telling you? Because you're the panic is your best friend. Thank God you have the panic. Most people try to get rid of it, but that's information. That that is beautiful information. Your body's trying to talk to you about something. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah, usually when mine does that though, it's usually something I need to be aware of. When I get those moments I wake up and my and it's like I can feel it, but I'm like, Okay, something something's not right or something's happening and you know. Right. Mm hmm. Kimberly Lou: Exactly. Something's not right. Perfect. Okay, got it. So this is a this is a funny little story. I'm I'm giving you TMI, but when I first met my husband, he's a really good looking guy. And he is also a therapist, so or addiction counselor, and he wouldn't know how to turn it off when he got to like parties and different things. So what would happen was he would be very available and then he would open people up and then they would take it the wrong way and then they would attach to him and then all of a sudden now they're feeding off of his energy and they were trying to like get rid of me. But in the beginning I didn't understand the pattern. I didn't understand it was like why are you running energy with her? He's like, babe, I'm not doing anything. They sh it's her. And I'm like, it's not just her, you know, and Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm. Kimberly Lou: And he didn't even know he was doing it. He was just listening. But we would be at like let's say pickleball. I go, babe. Is it appropriate to talk about depression at pickleball? Or maybe we should talk about pickleball when we're playing pickleball? Maybe we lighten it up a little bit. Right. And so what happened was is he didn't even realize, but I could feel the energy from across the room between my husband and this other person. And what I had to realize is wounded. Wounded. She sees that I'm right here. But he's giving her something that she's never gotten before in her entire life, which was someone to listen to her. Someone to hold a space for her. But what happened was is he was coming away drained. Pete: Mm. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Kimberly Lou: Make sense? So I was watching this dynamic, and at first it was came in in panic attacks, like there he's gonna cheat on me, or they're like the disrespect. I'm right here. And it would come in the form of panic attack. And so that panic attack helped me get clear on what my boundaries were. It's not appropriate at a pickleball place. Let's let's save this area for work, but maybe even also. Pete: Yeah. Kimberly Lou: set the boundary at work because this is not appropriate. And and then they think that you're leading them on and really you're just being nice. Make sense? Yeah. Okay. I want to hear about yeah. Pete: Yeah. It it's funny you say that though. So I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna tell you a quick story though before I ask you ask you. So I ran into a situation similar to this, okay? It was I was just being nice to these these other individual ladies that I met, you know, and just a nice person in general. Apparently I didn't know that three of these ladies all ha had fallen for had feelings for me, and I'm talking to somebody else who now I'm in a relationship with, and they were all mad at me. Kimberly Lou: Yeah. Yep. Pete: Because of this. And I'm like, all I would she was like, you know what it is? I think it's the fact that you're just a nice person. You were listening to them. You know, you're you're doing the same thing that they all wanted to be heard, and somebody was listening, you know, and you took time to listen to them and everything like that. And I had no idea, like all these other people. I'm like, I didn't do nothing. I'm the most clueless person when it came to all this too. I was like, I'm like, I don't know. You know, I got this information from somebody else, and she was like, Yeah, yeah. So my my girlfriend now. was telling me 'cause the girl that was that all of them went and told, she's Yeah, you know, he's out here breaking hearts. I'm like, Pete didn't do anything. Pete was just being nice to people. That's it. You know, like I didn't intend Kimberly Lou: There comes a point in time that what I learned, and I used to do this too, right? And then I didn't understand why guys were hitting on me all the time. But there's something called an informed consent in therapy. Right? And in therapy, you sign this informed consent giving permission to be ripped open. There's a time and a place for it. Nobody at pickleball is signing a conform informed consent. Pete: Mm-hmm. Right, exactly. Kimberly Lou: Nobody at a party is in a cons you know a s assigning a informed consent and you might be doing more damage than good. Here's one more story and then and then I'll be quiet about this. But our neighbors invited us over to for dinner and this lady was talking about you know depression. I was like, nah, I'm out. And my and my husband was like, so tell me about your depression. I was like, fuck that shit, I'm out. Because I I'm not working right now. Pete: Mm-hmm. Ha ha ha. Yeah. Kimberly Lou: And she locked in on him. And all of a sudden he ripped her open unintentionally. And The next day the the sheriff's department came over to their house because they had gotten in such a huge her and her husband had gotten in such a huge fight that the sheriff's department needed to come over. And I was like, babe, this is dangerous. Okay, there's a time and place for therapy, and this isn't it. Do you see what I'm saying? So the container is important. That's why boundaries are really important. And by the way, Pete: Geez. Yeah, exactly. Right. Kimberly Lou: My husband has so much more energy now because he's not sitting there giving it to everyone and going to work all day long and being of service and being the nice guy and you know and and creating that thing, you know, and then going to afterwards to go exercise and now he's got to do it there, and then now we're over here. So there he's just exhausted, barely can get out of bed. Make sense. So there comes a point in time that you need to be able to. Pete: Yes, it does. So Kimberly Lou: be mindful in what it is you're talking about and sharing about and set those boundaries and those parameters. Another thing is to like the women would start touching him or the guys would start touching me and I'd be like, my arms reserved for my husband. My arms reserved for my wife. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. I I Right. Right. It's like, yeah, the the touch thing is what would get me too like yeah, like I'm not with you, so like I don't yeah, don't do the yeah. I don't get that ho I don't do that whole thing. Like I'll give somebody a hug, okay, that's cool. But that's about it. Say I'll go from there. That's it. After that, you touching me anymore excessively is too much. Yeah. Kimberly Lou: Yeah. Yeah. Cool. A fist bump or a side hug or yeah, but you gotta be really careful because what people don't understand is when you are in a position where and I don't know if I you're even asking about this, you know, I'm just talking about these are just some of the experiences that I've experienced just in normal life, right? As someone working as you know, somebody's I've been in this industry thirty seven years is a long time to talk about mental health and and to do it all, minus the t the time when I was homeless. Pete: Jeez. Yeah. Kimberly Lou: But even then, I was still talking to people and helping them out. But I had to learn how to set boundaries with that. And then also even when my daughter, I remember when my daughter and I we'd be out to lunch, she's five years old, and somebody would start telling me about and then they would trauma dump and they would talk about like murder and rape and all the different things. You know, be careful. I I I think I need to do like a trigger warning of these words. And then they would start talking about that. And my five-year-old daughter would be right there. Pete: Yeah. Kimberly Lou: But again, these people have never been listened to before. So I think there comes a time and place where you do want to listen, but that you've also got to set the boundary with that so that you don't take on their anxiety as well. Pete: Yeah. Very true. So Kimberloo, we're at the part of the interview where I asked my guests two questions. Okay. So one of them is actually a bit of a fun one I borrowed from a friend of mine. So so my question to you is that if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? And this is a fun one what people answer this. Kimberly Lou: Okay. Mm. Hold on, my hair again. Pete: Ha ha ha. Kimberly Lou: My mental health out of song. Okay, this is when I'm mad. You wanna hear the song? I just listen to it on TikTok. I'm gonna share it with you. You guys don't mind. Hold on. I love TikTok. Pete: It had a song, yeah. here we go. TikTok's great though for a lot of people you meet and things like that too. That's why I've met a lot of interesting people on and things like that as well. So I found a lot of bands there too. So that's season three's opener was actually a guy I met through TikTok and Instagram. He he's an artist actually, and he let me use his song for season three and season two is actually another band I'd met on there. They're a rock band that I met that out of Florida and things like that too. So it's been pretty cool to meet a lot of interesting people there. Kimberly Lou: I love it. I love that. Okay, so this is TikTok. I don't know who it is, but I'm just gonna show you the video, okay? And so when my mental health, when somebody s crosses a boundary, this is it. Hold on a second. Songs I didn't know, I needed to hear. Fafo? Pete: Okay. Kimberly Lou: Yeah, fuck it, I'm a bitch. Pete: Ha ha ha Love it. Yeah. That's great. Kimberly Lou: Tell me if you when you're done for so I'll say Pete: Yeah, you're good. I I think I don't know what that song is. I'll have to figure out if I can figure out which one that is. Kimberly Lou: I'll be this week. Keeping nice till you cross that line. Are the actually close funny on where it will bit of sugar hole, I'd have gotta hell yeah. I'm the sweetest bitch I'll ever meet till you push me one far, then it's a cold real quick. Like a blackout in a bar. You keep running your That's all yeah. So that's my that's my old one. Pete: Yeah. Love it. I'll have to figure out what that is now, that's great. That's fucking that's hilarious. That's awesome. Kimberly Lou: Ha ha ha. Pete: I did not see that coming, honestly. I was like, wait a minute. Can't believe what are you listening to over there? But no, like you know, we I asked that question though because music does play a big part and I love music. And that's how I describe my mental health to most people some days. Like I'll put together some playlists and tell people, you know, and when someone asked me that question, I gave it two ways. So I did anxiety was b artificial suicide by bad omens. It wasn't the lyrics, but it's the way the song just kinda Kimberly Lou: Yes. Pete: You know, that moment my anxiety kicks, it's just really going really fast paced, so the song goes really fast. And my depression song was too actually. It was Leave a Light on Talk Away the Dark by Papa Roach, because I'm a Papa Roach fan. And then another one was a different p kind of pain by cold. So, you know, it just because like the real soft melody of the songs and things like that too, and stuff like that too. So it's always a fun one to ask people like that, you know. It it was it I've gotta say I did not see that one coming for you though, but that was great though. I Kimberly Lou: Yeah. I remember too. Think about it this way too. Postpartum, I did not realize, but 14% of women who experience postpartum experience the anxiety version. And the anxiety is so intense. So I would play I would do a playlist of like happy songs and I'd put my daughter in an ergo and I would just dance for the first five minutes every morning because I would get into such a deep depression and such a big funk. Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kimberly Lou: And panic attacks at all the things that if I didn't do that, you know, so s music is a very big part of raising vibration, I feel like. Pete: I love it though. I'd love it too. So Kimberly, we're at the last question before we start wrapping up. the reason I start this podcast and the question to you is, is that if you could break the stigma about mental health, what would you say that one thing would be? Kimberly Lou: I don't think it's just one, but I think that if people could do better, they would. I think we gotta have a little bit more compassion for the people around us as opposed to doing this with them. Right? When people are angry, there's a reason. When people are overwhelmed, when people are in fear, there's a reason for it. So instead of doing this, we need to do this. Pete: Mm-hmm. I agree. Well, Kimberly, thank you so much for being here. It was an honor having you. before I start signing the show off, would you like to let me know where to find you? Plug your website. I know you have YouTube. You're you're pretty much everywhere, just like me. Kimberly Lou: I am everywhere. but you can look up Kimberly Lou and then I have a website called KimberleyLew.com. You can find my book, Becoming Who You're Meant to Be on there. And then if you're a treatment center and you're needing facilitators, psychologists, therapists, breath work, sound bath, you can go to guidinghands dot com. No, guidinghands healthcare dot com. Pete: I love it. I love it. Well, Kimberly, thank you once again for being here. I really appreciate you coming and hanging out with me. It was so great to get to know you. you're you're definitely welcome to come back anytime. We could we could talk about any those those interesting stories you wanna break out. Kimberly Lou: Cream. Thank you, Pete. I think I shared too much. Pete: No, you're you're good. Listen, that's great. I loved it. It's great to see the other side of people. You know, you like you see people on the internet and then you get to meet them in person and just start asking them all these questions that you normally don't get to ask them, you know? So it's it was great. I think it was a great time. So do you have any any last encouraging words before I sign this off? All right, guys, let's do this. Guys, hey, you know what, guys, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete for Sanxiety. You don't want to find me at Pete for Sanxiety on X, all the way down to TikTok. Kimberly Lou: Yeah. Yeah. Love it. You got this. Pete: I'm on Spotify all the way down to Pandora Radio and I was always saying it costs nothing, absolutely nothing, be kind to somebody. One kind act you could do could save life, hell it can make their day. I'm Pete Fritz Anxiety sign-off saying, don't ask how your day is today. Say, hey, how's your mental health?