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Good Advice · So We Were Saying

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, welcome back to So We Were Saying.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Jackie and I'm here with Jamie and Melissa.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hey.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Hey girl.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, today, actually, I did a benchmark workout at Orange Theory, and it was on the roller.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna say my time because I personally was happy to do it.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: Benchmark.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like you do them several times, like throughout the year.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know what my last one or any of my previous ones were, but I felt so proud of this one.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I was dying.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: I literally couldn't get off the rower.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: I just sat there and I was like, I hope someone else sits too because then it will make me look like I can't move.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: But I tried so hard.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, how long do you think you're on it?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was under two minutes.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: I did a 500-meter row in under two minutes.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's amazing.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I but I don't know.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds great.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: To me, it was like I was dying at the end because you start at 500 and it goes down.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, once I got to 100, I'm like, oh my god, am I gonna be able to keep going?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: But I did, and I finished it.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: I know I'm so accomplished.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why I don't feel guilty about having a glass of wine and eating my cookie.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: So mine is kind of related to the gym.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I was at the gym the other day, and it's not just this one day that like I've noticed this.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: There is this lady at the gym who, for the record, kneezing body.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: She is like killing it.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: She is there every day that I am there, which I mean doesn't say much on their crazy.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I am sure she is there more often.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: You can just tell, like, she is just a gym goer.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: But so I do the machines, she bops around to every single machine and does not wipe them down.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: It bothers me.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's loose season, honey.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Even so that's much.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I just sit there as I'm doing my little workout, contributing 30%, and I'm just watching her bop around.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: And she she'll do like one set and then go to another one and do another set.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: So she's literally hitting up about 10 different machines and not wiping down one of them.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's are you internally raging?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: I am internally raging.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: A because I'm like, not the audacity, but kind of like when people, what is the word that I'm thinking of?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Not the audacity, but entitled?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: People just are so entitled where they just don't think they need to do something.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if it's that that bothers me, or it's just gross.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like it is gross.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: It bothers me so much that's it's literally all I think about when I'm at the gym.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I purposely bind her just to get this thing.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: I purposely look for her just to like get myself so bothered and so fired up.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: So that's my spiel.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: What about you?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Over the weekend, we threw my mom her 70th birthday party.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Dad.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And we did get her, we did surprise her.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, completely surprised.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: I guess like my uncle slipped and said, see you Saturday, but she had no idea what.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: But she thought she was coming to lunch with my brothers and our families.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I got both her brothers, my aunt, her best friend, Aunt Vicky, and then my Aunt Luann was there.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was perfect because my dad, we had this big party with all these people.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: My mom would not have wanted a big party.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was really, it was perfect.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: The amount of people she was so happy.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And but then the best is when we were sitting there, my Aunt Luann, shout out, and Aunt Vicky, shout out.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: They are so cute and they're getting into our podcast, and they were downloading Spotify, so they were wanting me to teach them how to follow us.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: But we were getting so many good feedbacks from it.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of like what I've been up to.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so now the party's over, the weight is off me, and now you can really now I don't have to keep avoiding my mother.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh good.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: So okay, well, let's move on to our topic.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: So tonight's topic will be what is the best piece of advice you have ever received?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'll go first.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I, for me, the first thing that came to my mind was don't let one bad moment convince you that you have a bad life.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, what do I and I forget where I heard it from?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: It might have been like a podcast.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: But what I mean by that is like, for example, when I'm at work and I have like a really shitty day at work and something happens, I all of a sudden have like an exit plan.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, it's fine.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna apply somewhere else.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go to another job.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'll start all over again.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a big deal.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that is kind of like what I mean by that.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: But it's just like all of a sudden, like, I'm mentally listing everything else that's wrong.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like when you wake up in the morning, you're like, I'm gonna have a really good day of eating.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm gonna do really, really well.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then you slip and you have like one bad thing, and then you just think, oh, well, my day's screwed.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just eating shit for the rest of the day.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's a high week.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: And the rest of the day, you know, it's starting like next Monday.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's kind of like what I mean by that.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that like everything sucks.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: It just means like a part of it does.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, just because one part of this day feels absolutely awful, doesn't mean that like the entire day is shot.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: So that's something that has stuck with me.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I don't remember where I heard it from.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: I probably heard it from a podcast, but it's just something that like I just try to remember when it comes to like that and like eating healthy and working out on kind of all of those things.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, just because you had like one little slip up doesn't mean that it's like the end of the world for the rest of the day.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, you're absolutely right.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Melissa, what about you?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: That was really good, James.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I have so many.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I won't go through all of it, but it just won't go around.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so some of the things I have, you know, I've been in therapy for a long time, like probably almost half of my life.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it's very different now, just like if I need to go, but I've gotten a lot of good, I don't know if it's advice or just like how to look at things and like change the way you look at things.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: But something that has always really stuck with me was unless you've been through it, you have no idea how you would react or how you would feel towards something.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's so easy to say, like, before I was a mom, there were so many things that I knew I was going to do.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then I had twins, and literally anything goes.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: It all changed.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's really my motto then turned to whatever works.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like that is that's just the way life like changes.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Also, another thing that it's like kind of goes into that is don't take things personally.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: The way that somebody treats you has more to say about them than it does about you.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's a lot of times things don't have anything to do with you, it's just whatever that person's going through.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that really has helped me because I think years ago I would be like, oh, why is this person?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that towards me.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: I was just always like hypersensitive to everyone else's feelings or tones.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm still that way, but now I just realize like it actually has nothing to do with me.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like I know I'm a good person, and if someone has a problem with me, I must be bringing something out in them.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's not me.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a reflection on them.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying like, oh, I'm so great.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I mean, like, I know that I treat people good.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: So if you can't do that for me, then that's something that maybe you're dealing with, not yeah, yes.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think it's me.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's not them issue.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I like this.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: So those are just a couple things.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, do you have more?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is that good?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I like these.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, girl.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think piece of advice for parenting, it's you also just need to do what's right for you and your family.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: You can't stress about what everyone else is going through or milestones that other people are reaching.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I know with my own kids and their learning needs, like they're I'm just happy where they are and that they're strife, like they're making me proud in their own way.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like they're not straight A students in the highest like classes, but they're doing they're doing the best that they can.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm okay with that.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when it comes to school or it comes to how you feed your kids or how you show up for them, like it's really you need to do what's best for your family and not listen.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: You really shouldn't listen to advice from other people because they don't live in your house or know what you're going through.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's very important.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think they're right on.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Jack.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you know what about you?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I was kind of like, one of mine was, and it always goes back into my head, and I actually called my mom today to find out who told her it.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So my Aunt Carol Farrell told my mom years ago.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Her name's Aunt Carol, but her last name's Farrell, so they call her Aunt Carol Farrell.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I laugh.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: So she told my mom years ago, you're gonna get a piece of advice when you have kids from everybody.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you take it, you say thank you, and then you do what fits for your family.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know what I mean?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like if your mother-in-law is telling you this and your friends say, take it, try it, does it work, throw it out.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like you were saying, like everybody does things differently and just try what works for you, and it's okay.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do that.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, another one I like is you get what you get and you don't get upset.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning, like, even if you give your kid the red cup and they want the blue cup, tough crap.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is what you're getting, like it.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I like that one.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I always teach my kids that treat people the way you want to be treated, the golden rule.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, and even adults should pick up on some of that because people treat people like crap and it's not nice.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: So all right, yeah.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: Especially the meal.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's supposed to be patterns, not that.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: All right, sorry.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, just to go off on what you said, something I also wrote down that I didn't say, but it's like listen to what people or watch what people do, not what they say.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think it was like the pattern.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: I know I after we stopped laughing about it, I figured that you meant something like along those lines.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: And right, that's the truth, because we can say anything we want, but if it's really what someone really does is what is that matter, exactly.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, okay.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: So then another question would be are you good at taking advice from others?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: I would say I am good.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like I love to listen to anything that's gonna help me be better in any way, of course, I'll take it, or I'll listen to it.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: If it doesn't ag if it doesn't align with the way I am or feel or those things, I might just listen and then not say like do anything with it.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I do love good advice.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes just want somebody to agree with you when they're giving you I guess if you're giving your opinion to somebody or you're telling them a story, like, are you looking for them to be like, no, you're right.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, see, and I like that.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I think, sorry, I don't mean to like jump in.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: No, but like I think the question sometimes should be when people ask you, like, do you want my opinion, or do you want me just to listen?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Because sometimes I'm asking for advice, and other times I just want you to confirm I'm right, or I just want you to listen.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't always want, I don't want it to always be one or the other.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you have certain times that you just want someone to listen, and other times you have someone that you want to give you the advice.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say what we just said last weekend when Yes, I know exactly what you're gonna say.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: I know when I want someone to agree with whatever I'm any unhinged thing I'm saying, I go to Jamie because Jamie will always be like, just do it.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Just whatever it is, and it could be the most ridiculous thing.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: So when I'm in that mood and I just want her to make me be crazy, I'll go to Jamie.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: But when I want, when I already know the hard truth about something and I really just need to hear it, I go to Jen because Jen does not sugarcoat anything, and she just says exactly what she's thinking, and usually it's what I know, but I don't want to hear.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I know what I'm getting when I go to absolutely strategic.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: No, but what about that's very good.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the same way.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think I would listen to people, but then sometimes you do just want somebody to listen to you.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: But as my husband, we ask him what he thinks of our podcast, and he gives us his opinion, and we just have to we're asking for it.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we appreciate it, but we're asking for it.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I wouldn't want him just to give it to me if I wasn't because we're like happy about it, and then like for somebody just to put you down, but no, he's what could he possibly say that's negative?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm trying to do.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: I like saying it, yeah.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, like, you feel good about something and somebody tries to put their two cents in.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I didn't ask for your two cents, right?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: But for Tim, yes, we did ask what he thought, and he had some good feedback for us.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, sometimes I think people just want to be negative or just be this is our fun thing that we're doing, and maybe they would love to do something like that.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of being encouraging, they're like, not that anyone's putting us down, but I just putting something down in that way.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's I don't know if jealousy is the right word, but it is being negative is easier than being happy.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: I have been trying, like when I go out to like do a little compliment here and there.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was at the dollar store, and this little girl had this like really pretty dress, and I was like, Your dress is so cute.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or like, I don't know, somebody's bag, be like, Oh, your bag's really pretty.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or I like trying to bring more positivity to the world.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you say that.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was listening to a podcast the other day, and some girl was saying that it was the host of the podcast was saying that somebody went up to her randomly and was like, and she's like, it's something I could never do.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: But somebody randomly just came up to me and complimented, I forget what they complimented her on, but said, you know, you look really nice today or like really put together or I love your shirt, or like whatever it was.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, and though it's something I would never do, like I am now trying to do that to other people because I've realized like how good it made me feel.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like, even though I don't do it as well, because I can be like a little bit shy, but I agree with wanting to do that more to people.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then you remember it.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like this was years ago.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: Your whole day.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, not to chew my own horn, but like we sat down today.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: I had a bit of a day today.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: We sat down and Jackie looks at me and she says, Shame, you look really pretty today.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, it's so funny that you said that because I just had a crying sesh on the phone with my therapist on the way home, talking about how hard it is to age and how I see such a difference in myself, and how like I'm not necessarily like loving what I'm seeing in the mirror.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, like something as little as that.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh my God, like wow, like wow, that you're just hard on yourself.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember this was like years and years ago.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: I remember being at a light and the windows were down, and this guy told me I had a beautiful Colgate smile, and I still remember that.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, And it brings a smile to your face.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and I was like, oh my god, yeah, I've got beautiful cold.
• 14:32
  unknown: Yeah.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: It makes such a it really does.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: It makes such a difference.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's amazing what one thing can do to like change your entire day.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I do that a lot because I just always I don't know why it's so not like me, but it is.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: I do like want to engage with people when I'm out.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: I either have my ear pump, like my ear button, and I don't want to.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Or you don't, or someone between.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like whenever I make eye contact, like I always have to like say something to someone.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I always say, you know, compliment someone in some way, or just say hi and smile.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not just to make them feel good, because I think it like makes me feel good too.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like their reaction, yes, you know, when they say like make just like smile at some.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: I always smile.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: I can smile if I am rest or if I'm the happiest person in the world.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: You're nervous, you're smiling.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just it's just what I do.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: I just smile.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: And you notice when people just like smile back, and I'm sure they're like, oh my gosh, that person smiled instead of just giving me like the resting wages.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Look at us changing the world.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Look at us one smile, and it's I want a time.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Here's another one.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever gotten a piece of advice that at the time you didn't understand, but then down the road you're like, I get it.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think I have.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'll go first.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, never go to bed angry.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, I think that I didn't get that until I was married.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Or not even married, but like living with somebody, right?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, don't go to bed angry because it's easier when like one of us got into an argument and you hang up the phone and you go to bed.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's different.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: But like when you live with somebody, I even though that would still be hard, you know what I mean?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: But it's kind of like out of sight, out of mind, we can pick this up tomorrow.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: But I think it is when you are living with somebody and they're just there and they're not going anywhere, and you wake up and they're the first thing that you say, it's just much easier just to like resolve it right then and there.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: So now I think that's a good one.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think something that makes sense to me now that didn't when I was young.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Not like young, but younger.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Is like be the adult that you always needed.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess go once.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because I think when I was young, I obviously needed, you know, good support and adults.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that I was so tough and thought I didn't need anyone.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I still do a little bit, but I get it now.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it's changed the way that I think I am to my own kids, but even the kids at school, like sometimes when I'm just like, oh my gosh, I can't listen to this story one more time.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: But then I'm like, oh my gosh, maybe no one's listening to them tell these stories.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so I let them tell me, even if it's like these most the same story or these off-the-wall stories, because sometimes people don't have that person.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: So true.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: And if I can be that person to even just like, even for 15 minutes on the playground, then I'll do it because it's so necessary.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's so nice.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: I like that.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: What about you?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think a piece of advice that I swear by, but I suck at like doing is saying no to someone.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like I am a yes person.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: If anybody asks me for anything, I'm always like, yes.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: But then behind the scenes, I could be falling apart.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: And but I'm always like, yes, I'll do that.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, what do you need?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I got this.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: But then I would never turn and be like, okay, I'm struggling and I need your help.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Right now.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm basically drowning.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then I say yes to everything.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then after I'm like trying to backpedal and be like, what did I just get myself into?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: So that's I don't say yes to everything, but I definitely don't ask for the help that I need.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I think sometimes the audacity of some people who do ask, not that I wouldn't want to help people, but the things that people ask you to do, and you're like, I would never, never do that.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, yeah.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, wow, you got some serious balls.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: Notice the way as you're getting older though, that you're having an easier time.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like, because I feel like I would say yes to everything, or I would beat myself up.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like if someone was like, let's go out, and I'd be like, okay, even though I just don't want to, and I would dread it, and I would dread it, and I would dread it.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: And if I ever said no, I'd feel guilty.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, oh my god, they're never gonna ask me if I want to like go out again.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: They're just gonna think I'm lame, or you know, you internally like beat yourself up.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm like, I could care less.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, as you have your people, that's my people, but even if one of my people were to ask me to like, and I just wasn't feeling it, I feel like I could easily just be like, no, like no, it's not tonight.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Not tonight.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Tonight's not the night.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm in.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like your friends know you.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it depends on like certain people you say no to.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: But some people you just feel like you have to say yes, and then you're like, I know.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's very, very, very hard.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: And you always think about the alternative.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, the alternative's no, but then I'm gonna feel guilty about it.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: Then I'm gonna feel like they're never gonna want to ask for my help again.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: So is it easier just to say yes instead of like having that internal battle of like or maybe they're asking me because they're struggling and then they need help, and then like I know.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: I play this game all the time in my head, but yeah, I think that was like kind of my questions for this evening, unless you see any other ones you would like to go over.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: No, unless we just want to do our little PS's.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to do a PS?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, my pause.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, girl.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: My PS is I am obsessed with the podcast.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Two hot takes.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: There are people like what is it?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's like they do the Reddits and they like tell a story about okay, for instance, today's story was about this lady that would make sourdough on the side or whatever, and then she baked in our own house and she baked 30 loaves of bread, and then she can't.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now she lived by herself, she was on the fourth floor of the apartment, and then she like bread would go missing, and then she didn't know why this bread's missing.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: So then they'll tell you that like she wrote back in or whatever, and then said she got a camera here to find out somebody was coming through the ceiling.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, one of her neighbors was coming through the ceiling and stealing the loaves of bread.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, how violating, right?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: But if you read two hot takes, it's like I can't even explain like how they just tell you different scenarios and stuff like that, and then they just tell you their part.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's like my always Reddit, like do they always read Reddit posts?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, because Reddit can be so unhinged, I feel I love it.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then so this girl reads the Reddit, and then her and her friends talk about the post.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that's I like that.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: So on my walks in the morning, I like to listen to her.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: Very nice.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what's yours?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: Mine is coffee.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: I know that sounds like I love a good cup of coffee.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: But like, do you guys go to bed at night?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Excited for coffee in the morning?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: Excited for your coffee in the morning.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: Especially if I am having coffee that next morning.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's my favorite type.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's so weird to me that that's an option because I have to have my coffee in the morning, and I literally think about it when I go to bed, especially if it's like during this season because I have a pumpkin creamer in my coffee.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And in the wintertime, I put a little like peppermint mocha in my coffee, and I literally will think about it starting at like 8 p.m.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: I do get excited for that.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: I understand.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like I love being cozy on the gas, drinking like a nice Oh my god.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's coming down in the morning, and Tim Marie has the pot going.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what is the best coffee every single morning?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And he makes a little design.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: All right, guys.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: Today was a little bit.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I make my own coffee.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: Today was a little flower, the other day it was a cart.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: How creative.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: I like your serious face right now.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: Can you send us a picture of it?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: I will.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: Tomorrow morning I will.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: I will love that.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's not anyone making me coffee.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's for sure.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: So my PS just it really is just almost something that's happening like today and yesterday.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: Lewis started a plan.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Flying to colleges.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it's officially happening.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: Aw.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm all the same places that you thought are anywhere new.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: New one.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: He's doing a couple like somewhat local, like in Pennsylvania.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think there's any in New Jersey, but yeah, so some that are somewhat close, but mostly like south.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: I go like I'm excited because I'm like, oh my gosh, when do we get to find out?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, like it's happening.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's happening.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: When will he find out?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I think he's doing early action, not early decision.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: So he should find out by in December.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's when Amber found out last year.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: So he has a couple schools that I personally think are really reaching.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm also like, why are you applying to them?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's$60 for this application.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: We're not even gonna get in.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, in case you're listening.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: But like we believe in you.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: But it is this like he just wants I don't know if he's just doing it.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Just like, let's just see if it happens.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it's exciting, and I decided I feel like impatient now.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want anyone to know.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's exciting.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: Aw.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: So that's our little Lulu.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: Look it up.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Can you believe it?
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: No, I can't.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's crazy.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: You blinked.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean here you are.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I am.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's my PS.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's kind of sad.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really wrong.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: I knew for leaving you one.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening for today's episode of So We Are Saying.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: If you like this episode, please go and follow us wherever you listen to your podcast.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: And don't forget to give us a follow on Instagram at So We Were Saying.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.