Latest / ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women / 180 // 7 Tips to Create an ADHD-Friendly Life
Transcript
- 0:00Part of living confidently with ADHD is learning how to create an ADHD-friendly
- 0:07lifestyle or an ADHD-friendly environment.
- 0:12Are you tired of feeling like you don't fit in? Like you're not good enough the way you are?
- 0:17In this podcast, I will give you the strategies to build God-centered confidence
- 0:20so you can know in your heart that you do belong.
- 0:23You are enough and you are made on purpose and with a purpose.
- 0:27Hey, I'm Kelsey Spronk, fellow ADHD.
- 0:42Hey friends, welcome to the ADHD with Confidence podcast. I'm your host,
- 0:45Kelsey Spronk, and today I'm going to give you seven tips to create an ADHD-friendly
- 0:51life. The first time I tried saying that, it did not come out right.
- 0:56So this is me trying again. All right, I will go through the seven tips here.
- 1:00Before I do that, if you have enjoyed the show and you don't mind leaving a,
- 1:05rating at the bottom or a review, it helps other people to find the show.
- 1:10If you're new here, just ignore that part and let's get started.
- 1:13All right, tip number one, find or create opportunities to use your strengths.
- 1:20Now, part of this is uncovering what those strengths are.
- 1:25But some examples could be creativity, thinking outside the box,
- 1:31problem solving, maybe empathy, intuition with other people, leadership, teaching.
- 1:38There are so many different examples. If you look at the intersection of where
- 1:43you have thrived in the past, where you have done well, where you have enjoyed something?
- 1:50What were some of the strengths that you were using in those times?
- 1:55Part of why this is so important for creating an ADHD friendly life is we are
- 2:00often bombarded with this information about the supposed weaknesses of ADHD
- 2:06and how it doesn't fit in to our neurotypical culture and environment.
- 2:10So it's important for us to have the opportunity to also demonstrate that we
- 2:15do have strengths and we're not made wrong. We need a certain environment.
- 2:20We need certain opportunities.
- 2:22And that does not make us less than for that.
- 2:24It also gives you the extra energy and dopamine when you use your strengths.
- 2:30And then it can also build up that confidence when you remember and realize
- 2:34that you have So much to offer.
- 2:37The second tip to create an ADHD-friendly life is to partner with farmer brains.
- 2:42Now, this is coming from Dr. Jenny Byrne in ADHD and Professionals.
- 2:47She referenced the book A Hunter in a Farmer's World by Tom Hartman.
- 2:52Now, what this book is talking about is the fact that an ADHD brain would have
- 2:57been a hunter back in the day.
- 3:01And so we would have been looking for novelty. We would have been maybe a little
- 3:06bit more on the edge of our seats, kind of, you know, jumping at different opportunities,
- 3:10with hunting. There would have been movement. It would have matched the way our brains work.
- 3:15Whereas our neurotypical counterparts would have been more like the farmer.
- 3:19Predictable you know looking at patterns routine structure the kind of things
- 3:25that don't work well for us so the point here,
- 3:28is that it's not just okay but it's good to partner with those farmer brains
- 3:33those people in your life who enjoy
- 3:35structure and spreadsheets and scheduling and routine and things like that that
- 3:40is a strength that they have so when we partner with them,
- 3:44we can put our strengths together instead of trying to force ourselves into
- 3:49a box that does not fit us number three.
- 3:53Flexibility giving yourselves flexibility to work how it suits you best so part
- 3:59of that within your work are you able to structure it so that you have times
- 4:03where you can hyper focus where you can get,
- 4:06a whole bunch done in a short period of time,
- 4:09and complete a major project or a task.
- 4:13Are you able to incorporate movement breaks into your work?
- 4:17Are you able to move or stand while you're working to not just have the breaks,
- 4:22but to have the movement while you are working?
- 4:25Think about what kind of flexibility, what kind of supports or structures would
- 4:30be helpful within your work or within your day-to-day routines.
- 4:35Number four, another tip for creating an ADHD-friendly life is to foster the
- 4:42friendships and find the friendships.
- 4:44Where they love you and like you exactly as you are, and then focus on those ones.
- 4:50Instead of going to make new friends, instead of wanting to have a whole bunch
- 4:56of different friends, focus on the ones who already love you and already like you exactly as you are.
- 5:03This is something I can be guilty of not doing, is I will look for the novelty
- 5:09of new friendships and then wonder why I can't have a best friend overnight,
- 5:15but that is not how it works.
- 5:16If you haven't read it, Carolyn McGuire's book about ADHD and friendship, very helpful.
- 5:22But that is something that we with ADHD do is we want it to happen immediately
- 5:26where we become best friends and it just simply does not have the history or the trust at that point.
- 5:33So what I have been learning recently is to focus on the friendships that I
- 5:38do already have and fostering those, meeting with them more regularly because
- 5:43of the importance of that social connection.
- 5:47Also a time where it's easier to unmask because I know this person loves me for who I am.
- 5:53Number five in creating an ADHD-friendly life is to learn about ADHD,
- 5:59to continue learning about it, and look at that not as a destination, but a journey.
- 6:04You can learn about the strengths, the advantages, maybe where some of the struggles,
- 6:10why some of those struggles are there, how our brains work, what ADHD medication does for us.
- 6:17I was going to talk about that in a future episode, but essentially it creates
- 6:20that sense of wakefulness, like we've had a really good night's sleep.
- 6:23So interesting information about ADHD that helps you to understand yourself, your relationships,
- 6:32your environment, what kind of work suits you best, the more we understand,
- 6:37the more we're able to then make choices and set up our environments in our lives differently.
- 6:44Another part with ADHD is the advice to externalize everything and there is
- 6:49no shame in that, which means don't expect yourself to remember that you just
- 6:54put something in the microwave. Set a timer or a reminder for it.
- 6:58Don't expect yourself to remember that you have that appointment at two o'clock this afternoon.
- 7:03Put visual reminders, put alarms, multiple alarms on different things.
- 7:09It's okay, not just okay, it's good to externalize things so that we are not,
- 7:14expecting ourselves to remember those.
- 7:17Number six is to find a mentor, a coach, or a therapist.
- 7:24Now, these type of people can help you along your journey.
- 7:27They can help you understand yourself and your ADHD better. They can provide
- 7:31resources. They can be a sounding board, and they can just be a support.
- 7:35So whether you have somebody locally that you know, I also offer ADHD coaching.
- 7:40If you wanted to check that out you can go to adhdwithconfidence.com forward
- 7:44slash offerings and look at that there but having somebody who is able to,
- 7:50walk through these different things with you helping you to set up a life that
- 7:55works well for you something we talk about in coaching is building a life that fits,
- 8:01and there's not a one size fits all it's a life that fits for you and what that
- 8:06means is a life where you feel like you can thrive, not just survive.
- 8:11It's something I also am teaching in my upcoming ADHD confidence course.
- 8:16It's coming out in January. If you wanted to get on the wait list,
- 8:19adhdwithconfidence.com forward slash ADHD course.
- 8:23But we talk about creating a life that fits where you have the supports that
- 8:29you need, where you have your needs met so that you're operating from a better
- 8:34starting place. You feel.
- 8:37More at peace, more content, you're more fulfilled, you can create and reach
- 8:42for a life that is more fulfilling.
- 8:46The last one here, number seven, as far as creating an ADHD-friendly life,
- 8:51is adopting the foundational belief that you are not made wrong.
- 8:56This permeates into everything. I have had times recently where I've questioned,
- 9:04you know, I've been upset about myself for something and usually I would spiral
- 9:08and it would turn into the shame that I'm not enough.
- 9:11But that core belief that my worth, that your worth does not change no matter
- 9:17what you do or don't do, no matter what you accomplish or don't accomplish, no matter what you say
- 9:23or don't say, none of that changes your foundational worth that you are made
- 9:30in God's image and you are not made wrong,
- 9:33can be so incredibly.
- 9:36Peaceful.
- 9:37It can be peaceful. It means that even when I forget something and I burn the
- 9:43food and I lose my keys, I lost my keys this morning and it was so stressful,
- 9:47but it doesn't change my worth.
- 9:49It doesn't change your worth. If you lose your keys every day and you're daydreaming
- 9:53and you zone out in the conversation, guess what?
- 9:55That does not change your worth.
- 9:59And this is something that I understand will take time to be able to adopt this belief,
- 10:05but it is so incredibly important because when we can go through life recognizing
- 10:11that sometimes we do hurt people, sometimes we do make mistakes,
- 10:16sometimes we need to apologize.
- 10:19Even still, in any of those situations, when we've done something wrong,
- 10:23when we've messed up, or when what we've done unintentionally hurt somebody,
- 10:29we're still not made wrong, and our worth still doesn't change.
- 10:32We're still enough, and we're still loved, even with those things.
- 10:38And I feel like it can create so much freedom in your life as well.
- 10:43It can save a lot of energy that we would usually spend beating ourselves up,
- 10:48telling ourselves that we're not good enough, blaming ourselves for things.
- 10:52And that foundational belief is grounded in the fact that you're made in God's
- 10:56image to do good works. You're made with a purpose in mind, and you are uniquely
- 11:00equipped with strengths and giftings.
- 11:05I'm going to do a quick recap here of the seven tips to create an ADHD-friendly
- 11:08life. Find or create opportunities to use your strengths.
- 11:12Partner with farmer brains or neurotypicals three flexibility to work how it
- 11:18suits you best four find and spend time with the friends who love and like you as you are,
- 11:23five learn about adhd six find a mentor coach or therapist and seven,
- 11:29adopt the foundational belief that you were not made wrong i hope this has encouraged
- 11:34you helped you or blessed you in some way thank you so much for taking the time
- 11:37to be with me here today i look forward to the next one.